sorry for my lag, guys! as some of you know, i was going through a hard time with my family for the past couple of weeks. thank you all for being patient and understanding. that said, please enjoy the new chapter and don't forget to review.
…
JACKSON
Hearing April say those words, whatever shield I had left falls away and disappears. With shining eyes and her lips pressed to my shoulder, I hold the back of her head and kiss her hairline.
I've never been in love before. I've had a handful of girlfriends, plenty of casual flings, but nothing that ever qualified as serious. April is technically my girlfriend, I asked her earlier today, but the word suddenly goes deeper than it ever has. I wish there were a better term than 'girlfriend' to describe what she is to me, even after this short time.
"Have you ever had a crush?" I ask, thumbing tendrils of hair away from her face.
She blinks, batting those crazy long eyelashes against my skin. "What's that?" she whispers.
I can't handle her. How innocent she is without knowing it. Without even trying.
"When you like someone as more than a friend," I say. "Have you ever… felt something for someone else?"
She chews on her bottom lip and shakes her head. "No," she says, voice still low. "I've never looked twice at a boy until I saw you." She reaches up and holds my face, her hands soft and featherlight. "Now, I can't stop looking at you."
I smile widely and roll towards her, pulling her body closer. I can't get enough of her cute little pajamas - a matching button-up pink set with stripes. The fabric sticks to her body in places where her skin is still wet, and I do my best to get a hand under the silk on her back.
"The feeling's mutual," I say.
She tilts her head and we kiss - slow and drawn-out - lips parted, breath mixing. She threads a leg through mine and I inevitably get hard, one hand slipping down to squeeze her ass and force her hips against mine.
"I feel your penis," she whispers, and I bust up laughing against her mouth.
I know she means it as a simple statement, but she's so pure that it comes off hilarious. It's just not something people say, but she would have no idea about that.
"Why're you laughing?" she says. "Are you laughing at me? Did I say something wrong?"
"No," I say, stroking her hair. "No, kitty. You're just so cute."
She smirks, but tries to hide it while touching the tip of her nose to mine. "Is it because I talked about your penis?" she whispers.
I snort. "Yes. No one really comes out and just… I don't know. Says that."
"Well, I do feel it," she says.
"Is it bothering you?" I ask.
She shakes her head, eyes glinting in the moonlight. One hand slinks away from my waist and moves lower, near my groin.
"Can I see what it feels like?" she asks. "Touch… can I touch it?"
I raise my eyebrows slightly, then open my mouth to respond. Before I can, though, she pipes up again.
"Over the pants, just-just… just over your pants," she stammers.
"Sure, babe," I say, then take her wrist gently. "If you want."
She nods, eyes big and round.
"Okay," I say. "I'll show you."
As I move her hand towards my growing erection, she tenses up and goes rigid. Her eyebrows crease and she gasps softly, and I pull back with consideration to her reaction.
"You okay?" I ask. "You know, you don't have to."
"I want to," she says, then juts her hand back out. "Show me."
I grin and say, "Okay."
I guide her hand below my waist and cover it with mine to cup the bulge in my pants. Her fingers tighten as she breathes shallowly, and when her eyes meet mine her pupils are huge.
"Do you…" she murmurs, then swallows. "In comparison to other boys, is it… is it big?"
I know better than to be offended - she has nothing to compare it to. Still, it's an uncomfortable question given that I don't want to seem like a pompous asshole. Usually, girls realize its impressive size on their own. They love to comment on it. I've never had to verbally tell them how big it is.
But April is different. April is learning everything for the first time - through me. I can't let myself forget that.
I nod subtly. Her hand doesn't move.
"Yeah," I say. "Uh, not to sound like a cockwad, but… yeah. It's bigger than average."
"Oh," she says, then looks down before meeting my eyes again. "Uh… it's growing now?"
"You're touching it, and you're fuckin' sexy," I say. "So, yeah. It's getting bigger 'cause being around you turns me on."
She blushes, that hot pink blush I love. When I touch her cheek and find how warm it is, I can't help but linger.
My dick twitches in her palm and her hand jolts because of it, but she doesn't move away. If anything, she presses further and digs the pads of her fingers in all while her eyes are plastered on my face. I thread my fingers through her hair and kiss her with all my might, angling my head as our lips crush together.
She shivers as I pull away, the hand that was on my dick now sneaking up to rest on my bare chest.
"You cold?" I ask.
She nods.
"Alright, let's go."
We make it back to the cabin, but I'm not ready for her to leave yet. I don't think she wants to go, either, because she lingers by the doorway with her hands clasped, an expectant expression on her face.
"Wanna come in for a sec?" I ask.
Thankfully, she accepts. I start a fire so the place warms up a bit, and she hops on my bed and makes herself comfortable.
"Bed hog," I grumble jokingly under my breath, and she giggles.
I haven't felt safe in months, but with her it's different. It's not that I think she could physically protect me - nothing like that. She makes me feel like I'm home, like I'm secure, like I don't have to worry about anything except what's in front of me. For the first time, I know what it feels like to put someone else before myself. Just looking at her over my shoulder as she sits curled up on my mattress, I know I'd do anything to keep her safe. And that feeling alone is one I hold close to my heart. I don't plan on letting it go.
"You're the bed hog," she says.
"Whatever," I say.
"You are."
I set the poker down and stand to my full height, stomping over to the bed while pretending to be mad. She shrieks loudly, giggling as she does, and scrambles towards the wall while I cover her body and attack her with kisses and tickling fingers.
"Jackson, stop!" she laughs, weakly fighting me off. "Jackson, I can't breathe! Stop, stop, stop!"
Her face, smiling uncontrollably and tucked to her chest, is bright red. I dig my fingers into her armpits and below her ribs, going at her with no reprieve.
"Say it," I taunt. "Say you're the bed hog, and I'll stop."
"No way!" she shrills, falling onto her back so I hover over her. I tickle her thighs but hold her legs down as she kicks - she's no match even while writhing and thrashing underneath me.
"Then I guess I'm gonna tickle you all night," I say, moving to her feet.
She screams - actually screams - and can barely catch her breath. Gasping, she says, "Fine, fine! I'm the bed hog. It's me, I'm the bed hog!"
I stop and she collapses, spent. She holds her chest and lets out a long stream of air, then glares at me with a lighthearted look in her eye.
"You're awful," she tells me.
"And you're," I say, bending to tuck my face in her neck and kiss her. "Ticklish."
I lie down and pull her against me, not allowing any space between us.
"I don't see how I'm a bed hog when you barely give me any room," she whispers. "You hold me so close, you're basically all the bed I get."
"Just the way I like it," I say, kissing her cheek.
She beams and leans into me.
"Plus, you like it, too," I say. "Don't lie."
"I do like you," she says, cold fingers on either side of my neck. We look at each other for a moment and her eyelids grow heavy, body softening in my arms. "I'm sleepy," she says. "But I don't wanna leave."
"So, don't," I say, weaving my fingers through her hair. "Stay here. Sleep with me."
"I can't," she says. "You know better."
I grin softly. "Yeah, I know."
"A little while?" she says. "Wake me up in just a little while, and I'll go inside?"
"Okay," I say, then kiss the space between her eyebrows. "Close your eyes, kitty. I'll be here."
I've never known someone to fall asleep as fast as she does. As soon as she closes her eyes, her breathing deepens and her side rises and falls slower. I trail one finger from her temple down her cheek, over the slope of her neck and round of her shoulder, then over the bumps of her ribs. I find a place to rest on the soft dip before her hip bone, then stroke her skin where her shirt has ridden up.
As she sleeps, I ghost my lips across her hairline and whisper something so, so softly to her.
"I love you."
I say it so she won't hear. I'm not ready for her to hear, because I don't know how she'll respond. I've never said it to someone before - I can't even remember the last time I said it to my mom. I can't help it, though. Even though it's so soon, I do love her. I don't need more time to figure it out. She makes me feel safe, seen, and special. There's not a single other person in the world like her.
April stirs and pushes her forehead against my neck, shoving her body closer. I laugh to myself as she was the one who called me needy for closeness, while she doesn't even know what she's like while she's asleep. She tightens an arm around my waist and her breath hits my neck with every exhale, and I trail my fingers down her spine to keep her asleep for a little while longer.
When I feel myself getting drowsy, I know I have to wake her up - as badly as I don't want to. I kiss her temple, what I can reach, and rub her hip.
"Wake up, kitty-kitty," I say, kissing her forehead a couple times.
"Hmm," she hums, nestling closer.
"You have to," I say. "You gotta go, baby girl."
She opens her eyes, those pretty mossy eyes, and yawns. I stroke her face and she takes a moment to sit up, stretching her arms above her head once her spine is straight.
"I'll see you in the morning," she says, and leans over to give me a clumsy, sleepy kiss. When she pulls away, she slips into her shoes and out the door, then I watch her disappear into the farmhouse and out of sight.
…
The next day is unbearably hot. April, her sisters and I sweat all through chores and during dinner; even the sun setting doesn't make it any better. I'm lying in the shed shirtless when I decide I can't take it anymore - I know April will come out later, so I leave her a note that says: meet me at the pond.
I make my way there on my own and find it easily, stripping my boxers once I get to the shore without wasting any time jumping in. The cool water feels amazing in comparison to the sticky air, and I spend a good amount of time submerged under it to quiet my thoughts and simmer down.
It takes a huge amount of self control not to touch April all day while we're around her family. Not to sling an arm around her shoulders as we walk side by side, wrap an arm around the back of her chair at dinner, or playfully smack her ass when she's bent over doing chores. I just want to be normal with her, have a normal, playful relationship, but we can only be that way behind closed doors. It fucking sucks.
I come up from under the water and shake out my growing hair, then hear her voice.
"There you are!" she says, and I notice this time she has a towel in her arms and her hair is down. I smile at the sight of her.
"You made it," I respond.
"I got scared for a second when the shed was empty," she says, setting the towel down. Then she looks up, a fleeting look in her eyes. "Are you… are you naked?"
"As the day I was born," I say. "Comin' in?"
She smirks and ducks her head. I know I should turn away to give her some privacy as she undresses, but that's just not possible. I'm obsessed with her body, and I need to drink it in in any way I can.
She's only wearing a thin summer nightgown this time instead of the pants and shirt set. When it glides over her head, she's not wearing a bra - only a pair of modest white underwear. With her shoulders curved in towards each other, she shimmies out of the underwear and folds them neatly before walking towards the water with her hands covering her groin.
I meet her in the middle, saying, "You don't need to hide, you know."
She tucks her hair behind her ears, made decent by the water now. "I know," she says. "I just… I'm not used to someone seeing me."
I take her waist, hands slipping lower to grab her ass. It's currently my favorite place to put my hands - it's the perfect size and shape to hold onto.
"It's okay," I say quietly, turning my head to press my lips to her ear. "But you gotta know that I love your body. It's beautiful." She looks up at me, and I don't resist the urge to kiss her forehead, saying, "You're beautiful."
She shakes her head and lets her hair fall in front of her face, but I move it away. She won't look at me now, her demeanor has changed in a split second.
"What is it?" I ask.
She shakes her head again, pressing two flat hands on my chest to create distance between us. "Just…" she begins, sighing. "I don't know why you'd say that. I'm really not all that pretty."
"You are," I say, moving her wrists away so we're chest-to-chest again.
I hold her chin and kiss her slowly, letting out a deep exhale as I do. She tastes like toothpaste and hope. When we pull away and lock eyes, it's the perfect moment to say what's on the tip of my tongue, but I push it back. I don't know if she's ready. I don't want to say it, put those words out in the open, to be met with a deer in the headlights expression. The last thing I want is to scare her off - she's not used to all these feelings. Fuck, neither am I.
"If you say so," she says, smiling softly.
"I do say so," I say, threading my fingers through her hair.
We swim for a while until the balmy night boils down to a simple warmth. When we stop sweating, we get out of the water and lie on the shore in the way we did last night, except this time we don't redress.
I try not to stare. I know that if I do, it'll prompt her to put clothes on to cover up, and that's the last thing I want from her. She's amazing in her naked glory - her small, pert breasts, her little belly, her strong, lean thighs and the tempting place between them. I take her in in small doses, a quick flit of my eyes every now and then so she won't notice.
But April, on the other hand, doesn't try and be subtle about staring at me. I don't call her out on it, though, because mine is the first male body she's ever seen. I'm entranced because I've never seen a body like hers before, no less belonging to such a captivating person. But she's staring because she had no idea about anatomy before she met me, so I let her ogle all she wants.
"How was bible study?" I ask, breaking the silence a few moments later.
Her eyes, where they'd been trained on my crotch, shoot up to my face like she's been caught. "Fine," she says. "Good."
"What'd you learn?"
She frowns a bit. "Nothing new," she says.
"Hmm."
Her fingers fidget and her gaze can't find a place to land. I think, by reading her signals, that she wants to touch me and be touched in return.
"Can I kiss you?" I ask, testing the waters.
Her tension lessens and she seems relieved when she says, "Please."
With both of us still completely naked, I roll her onto her back and hover over her. I try my best not to let my half-hard boner touch her, but it's not that easy with its size. It basically has a mind of its own.
Her body responds to my every move. She arches towards me so I can wrap my arms around her lower back, and she pushes her tongue into my mouth as soon as I part my lips and welcome her inside. We lose ourselves as we kiss each other senseless, turning our lips red and swollen in the most delicious way.
My stubble scratches her chest as I move lower to her breasts, taking one nipple in my mouth and sucking hard. She whimpers and clings to me with her thighs, hips jolting up to meet my body in a way that lets me know she's turned on and wants something to come of this. I'd be lying if I said I didn't want the same thing.
She explores my body with her hands and I let her, wondering what move she'll make next. She surprises me when she reaches low and skims a palm over my ass, then brings it around to rest on my thigh. With a short gasp, she pulls away from my lips and skittishly looks down at my full-blown erection.
"I want to…" she murmurs, losing confidence.
"Hmm?"
She clears her throat, grounding herself. "You've made me feel good so many times. I want… will you… I've been reading about how to… will you show me how to do it for you?"
"Oh," I say. "You wanna get me off?"
She gives me a strange, confused look.
"Like how I do for you," I say. "Make you come. You wanna… you'd wanna do that for me?"
"I want to, yes," she says, setting her shoulders straight.
I try not to seem shocked, but I am. Of course I've thought about the concept of April getting me off a hundred times, but I didn't think she'd be ready this soon. I don't plan on refuting it or messing it up, though.
I sit up halfway, propped by an elbow, and use the other hand to lead hers. "You wanna touch it?" I ask.
She nods and licks her lower lip, concentrated and focused. She's adorable, wanting to do this right, putting forth so much effort towards learning how.
"I've read about it," she says, quietly.
"The real thing is probably a more reliable source," I say, eyes glinting. She catches my gaze and looks bashfully away, but I keep my eyes trained where they are. "Go ahead. Hold it in your fist. Not too tight, but not too gentle, either."
Cautiously, she extends an arm and wraps her trembling fingers around the shaft of my dick. She blinks rapidly, staring at the place where we touch, and gets used the way it feels to hold it.
The muscles in my groin go rigid as I become overwhelmed with the way she's touching me. She isn't even moving yet, but whatever blood wasn't there before is rushing between my legs now, and I have no hope in lasting all that long. Thank god she doesn't have anything to compare it to, because I'd make a fool out of myself with how fast I'm going to blow my load.
"Stroke it," I say, voice tense as pre-come leaks from the tip. She notices, but doesn't say anything. I wonder if she's weirded out. "That's like… that stuff comes out when I'm gonna get off soon. I don't know, it helps. I'm not… fuck, I'm not really sure."
"It's okay," she whispers.
"Move your hand up and down," I say, nodding her along after a small pause. Even after my words, though, she doesn't move. She's frozen. "You okay?" I ask.
"I don't want to do it wrong," she says, situating her fingers where they're still circled around my pulsing dick.
"Oh," I say. "Do you want me to help you?"
She looks at me wearing a mottled expression and nods. I sit up a bit further and curl my hand around hers, showing her by example how to get me off. It's a lot easier on a guy than a girl, so at least there's that.
We find a good pace together. I don't bother telling her the little things I like - not yet. I don't want to overwhelm her. When I'm almost there and feel everything tightening, I release her hand and let her push me over the edge on her own.
With a muffled grunt, I come all over my stomach, hips, and her hand. As I wind down, lying there panting and trying to be as silent as I can, she gingerly lifts her hand away and looks at what covers it.
"This…" she says, turning her hand this way and that in the low light. "Sperm? Is this sperm?"
I blink hard, trying to clear my head. It's hard, being that my dick is still twitching and I'm covered in my own jizz, but for her, I'll try.
"Uh, yeah," I grunt, letting out a long exhale.
"And if it went inside me, it would make a baby?" she asks, still staring.
My forehead creases, and I wish she'd wipe it on something and stop staring at it. It's making me feel a little self-conscious, which is a feeling I'm not used to. I don't like it.
"Yeah," I say. "I mean, it could. It doesn't always. But people use protection so that doesn't happen. I mean, if you're not trying." I sigh and reach for her. "Babe. Let me clean you up."
I use my discarded boxers and wipe the jizz off her hand and the front of my body. After we're free of it, I feel much better sitting there talking to her.
"What do you mean by protection?" she asks.
"When people have sex for fun and they don't wanna make a baby, a dude wears a condom," I say. "It's like a latex thing that goes over your dick. They're not bad. Or a girl can take birth control, too. A little pill that makes pretty much makes it impossible for you to get knocked up. Those can be expensive though, so condoms are more casual, or whatever."
She nods, taking it all in. "So, this stuff could go inside me, but not always make a baby," she says.
"Right," I say. "Yeah, it's not like if you swallow it, a kid will grow in your stomach or anything."
I laugh, but her expression transforms into one of deeper confusion. "Why would I swallow it?" she asks, concerned. "Why would it go in my mouth?"
Oh, fuck. She doesn't know about oral. Not that she shouldn't learn - but I hadn't meant to dig that pit right here, right now.
"Uh…" I say. She doesn't tear her eyes away from me - now, she's dying to know. "Well. Didn't they mention that at all in your book?"
She shakes her head, lips pressed tight together.
"Well, it's like… putting your mouth on another person's junk. Guys or girls. It can go both ways. It's… obviously different, you know, different methods for either one. But the same concept. Like, instead of your hands, you use your tongue. Teeth. Lips, too. Your mouth."
She stares at me like she's waiting for me to say something else, but I got nothing.
"Your mouth… on someone's penis?" she asks.
"Or vagina," I say, then clear my throat.
She visibly cringes and says, "Isn't that… gross?"
I shake my head and shrug. "No," I say. "It's not gross at all. I personally think it feels better than a handy or like, finger blasting or whatever. It's more personal, that's for sure."
"Does it taste bad?"
I raise my eyebrows and take a deep breath. We're really going there. "It really depends," I say. "If you keep clean and take care of yourself, no. It tastes fine."
"Does it taste good?"
"It can," I say, and meet her eyes heavily.
"Oh," she says.
The boner that she took care of earlier starts to come back to life, and I shift somewhat to hide it. I've imagined the way she tastes plenty of times, pictured myself with my head buried between her soft, creamy thighs.
Surprising even myself, I ask, "Do you want me to show you?"
She blushes a violent red, the color swimming down from the apples of her cheeks to span over the width of her chest. Even her nipples become more flushed, which only makes me harder.
"I…" she says softly. "Do you want to?"
I nod, pulling my lower lip into my mouth.
"Do you like it?" she asks.
"With you, I like anything," I say. "But only if you're ready."
She takes a sharp inhale that shows off the angle of her collarbones, then licks her lips. "I want to," she murmurs. "But I don't know how."
"You don't have to worry about that," I say. "All you have to do is lay back and let me do the work."
"What about you?" she asks.
"Don't worry about that tonight," I say, crawling over and gently pushing on her shoulders so she lies flat. "Right now, this is about you."
"Okay," she whispers.
Once she's on her back, I hold myself up with a hand on either side of her head and kiss her slowly. I open my mouth wide and she does the same, winding her arms around the back of my neck to rest there. When I pull away, she starts to giggle and I have no idea why.
"What?" I ask, maybe a bit snappily.
"I just can't believe this is real," she says, turning her face to the side. "I'm naked under a boy. You're kissing me the way you're kissing me and… and I've never felt like this before."
I kiss her cheek, sound and sure. "You're so fuckin' cute," I say. "I love that about you."
"I love a lot of things about you," she whispers dreamily, cupping my face before craning to kiss me again.
I smile to myself and kiss a path down her throat, licking a wide trail once I get to her chest. I squeeze her breasts lightly before moving lower to the soft pocket of skin in the center of her ribcage, and when I lick a circle around her bellybutton, her breath stops. The peach fuzz under my tongue stands up, and I nuzzle my nose through it.
"Mmm… Jackson," she sighs, hips writhing beneath me.
"Yeah?"
She reaches to weave her fingers through my hair, meeting my eyes for a long, drawn-out moment. "Nothing," she says, smiling softly. "Just saying your name."
"Okay, baby," I say, kissing below her bellybutton where it slopes downward. "I'm about to make you feel so good."
"I'm ready," she whispers, allowing me to widen her thighs as she solidifies her grip in my hair.
When my tongue touches her for the first time, we both feel the effects. Her body jolts with surprise and all the blood rushes to my groin because of how good she tastes - how innately sweet and hot, rich and practically holy when I put my mouth on her.
I know what I'm doing in eating a girl out. I know how to make it quick, but I don't do that this time. I won't tease her, but she deserves a quality build-up, and that's what I plan on giving her.
I massage her thighs while keeping them apart, running my tongue along her slit before slipping inside just slightly. She whimpers, caught off-guard, and bends her knees so her feet are flat on the ground at my sides. I bend my neck so there's no space between my face and her heat - I don't want any. If I suffocate right here, it'd be the best way I could think of to go out.
I don't bother keeping the sounds at a reasonable level, and she doesn't, either. She's wet as hell, so that combined with my saliva makes for a loud and messy act. And she's moaning and whining above me, arching her back and keening like crazy, almost like she's trying to crawl out of her own body because of the sensation.
I use my thumbs to run over her outer lips, then glide two fingers swiftly inside her as deep as they'll go. She twitches, muscles tensing, before I slowly drag them out and repeat the motion again and again. Her thighs fall apart bonelessly, and I keep my lips on the skin below her bellybutton while my fingers curl to find her g-spot. It takes a moment to find - I don't have her body memorized yet - but the sound she makes lets me know when I do.
She cries out and I move my face lower again, kissing between her legs while my fingers continue to work. I lick her inner thighs and suck on the skin, which makes her whimper with pleasure and tremble beneath me, breaking into a light sweat. I lick the soft skin on either of her legs before moving back between them and positioning my mouth above my hand and dipping my tongue inside.
I find her clit and circle it with the tip of my tongue, still stroking her. I use my free hand to reach up and grab her breast tight, thumbing the nipple to an even harder peak while I pull her clit into my mouth. I suck on it slowly, matching the rhythm of my hand, and relish the way her voice cracks as her orgasm begins.
"Oh… my… god," she moans, working her hips against my face in a way that seems totally involuntary. I don't stop, though, I let those hips slam against my face and try not to get knocked backward. "Oh, my… god!"
"You're doing so good, baby girl… does that feel good?" I say, lips moving against her dripping heat.
"So… so, good," she moans, entire body quivering as her muscles ride out the feeling. "Jackson, oh… god!"
With one final exclamation, she goes limp. She throws her arms above her head and lets her legs fall out, all the while looking at me with her chin to her chest, eyes clouded and dreamy. She blinks slowly, saying nothing, and I kiss the inside of her knee all the way up to where I'd left subtle hickeys a few moments ago.
"Jackson," she breathes, and I look at her through my eyelashes. I study the sheen of sweat across her breasts, the points of her nipples, the way her ribcage shows through her skin, and the trail of soft hair on her belly that stands out in the moonlight.
"Yeah, kitty," I say, turning her leg so I can kiss the top of her thigh.
"Come here."
When I crawl up her body, she wraps her limbs around me and kisses me forcefully, winding her arms around my neck to keep me close. We don't pull away for a long time, and even when we do, we don't move far. I press my nose to hers and look into her shining eyes, completely overwhelmed by everything I'm feeling. There would be no better time than right now to tell her, to say it out loud, but I can't. I open my mouth with the intent of telling her I love her, only to have silence fill the space instead.
And anyway, she speaks before I can.
"That was amazing," she whispers, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against mine. "You are amazing."
I shut my eyes for a moment as I trail my fingers down her back, ghosting over shoulder blades and the dip of her spine. "So are you," I say.
I move a hand up to her neck and rest my palm on the side of it, stroking her cheek with my thumb. We kiss again, languid and sloppy, and April is winding one leg around my hips when we hear a small voice in the distance.
"April… April?"
She pulls away instantly, her eyes wide and afraid. "It's Alice," she says, scrambling for her clothes. She finds her underwear and hurriedly puts them on, then slips the nightgown over her head. With a quick twist of her hands, her hair is in a braid and she's working on shoving her feet back into her lace-up boots.
"Shit," I say, rushing to redress as well. "What is she doing?"
"I don't know," April says, then glances back at me once she's decent. "I have to go. You… you stay. She shouldn't see us together."
Halfway to a standing position, I sit back down with my eyes trained on her. For some reason, my heart sinks and I feel a bit hurt though I don't know why. I shouldn't feel that way, I have no right to. If Alice put two and two together about me and April, we'd be done for. I'm just tired of hiding.
"Right," I say.
"April…?"
She lets out an exasperated breath and bends at the waist to give me a quick, chaste kiss. "I'll see you in the morning," she says. "Thank you for… for showing me… for…"
"Sissy, where are you?"
She sighs again.
"It's fine," I say, then wave her on. "Go. Go. We'll talk tomorrow."
"Okay," she says, then hugs her arms close to her chest. "You're not upset, are you?"
"I'm fine, kitty," I say, trying to mask my frustration with her little sister. I wasn't done with April tonight - I wanted to spend more time with her. Her life on this fucking farm keeps getting in the way.
"Okay," she says. "Goodnight."
She runs off towards the edge of the woods, soon disappearing in the darkness, and I'm left there at the edge of the pond with only the memory of what we did.
…
The next morning, I'm not woken by April. Instead, I wake up to the sound of a familiar voice - familiar, but far away. Maybe coming from the house.
I sit up and rub my eyes, confused above everything. Why am I hearing my mother right now?
I get dressed, find shoes, and step out into the blinding sunlight. It's later than usual. April let me sleep, or was too distracted with something else to come get me. I'm tempted to say the latter, because I wasn't hearing things. My mother is, in fact, standing on the porch with Karen Kepner, talking congenially while Karen stands with her arms crossed, April at her side.
April looks nervous and flighty. I can see it in her eyes all the way from here. I can't hear what my mother and Karen are talking about, but it seems to be a topic of contention. No one on that porch is comfortable except for my mom, which doesn't come as a surprise. She tends to control the room.
I put my hands in my pockets and make my way towards them slowly, gauging the situation. April catches my eye first, but doesn't move. I'm aware she can't, really.
"...big of you to comply, I don't think you'll regret it. It really isn't fair to keep her in such a bubble, you know, Karen. It's not doing her any favors."
"I didn't agree to any critiques on my parenting style," Karen says, tersely. "I agreed to a few days away. I'm finished hearing anything else, lest I change my mind."
"Well, we wouldn't want that," my mother says, then turns as she notices me. "Jackson, so nice of you to finally join us. I see the farm life hasn't turned you into an early riser yet."
I don't say anything. I'm way too confused. April stares at me like she's trying to send me a telepathic message, but I can't pick it up.
"I have wonderful news for you, son," my mother says. "I'm taking you and April to the lake house for a few days for a little getaway. I heard you've been doing well here, and you deserve a break. But even more than you, April deserves one, too."
I blink hard, trying to figure out if this is real. It can't be. I must be hallucinating.
I subtly pinch myself and find my surroundings don't change. I'm still standing here in front of three women who I never thought I'd see together.
"Did you hear me, son?" my mother asks. "We're taking April home."