A/N: So sorry that it has been so long since I've updated. Alas, my summer is over and I am back to my job again. I am planning on updating tomorrow if I can. Thanks to my faithful followers! Keep reviewing; I love hearing what you liked and what your suggestions are. Kisses!
A Bad Life Choice by August McKay. That's what I am going to title my new book. I did not think any of this through. You would think that having a special ability that allows you to be in tune with emotions to an extreme level would help me control mine, but apparently not.
A dingy motel bed, with flickering orange light. My hands covered in blisters from gripping the handles of an over sized bike. My knee scuffed and bloody from tripping in my boots that were several sizes too big. The pain from my hip shooting through my weak body. Plus, I smelled like death. All in all, the situation couldn't look bleaker.
Oh wait. There was the fact that the guy I had been undeniably attracted to had in fact been the same man who kidnapped me when I was 16.
Limping over to the bathroom, I splashed cold water in my face making sure to take several deep breaths. I didn't know how to place this. I could normally categorize and place my feelings. I had to learn to do this out of survival or I could accidentally send all of my heavy emotions to somebody and hurt them. Now, I tried to do this for my sanity.
Bucky had taken me. I couldn't remember every detail, but it was clear in my mind that he was with me when Hydra held me captive, and knowing Bucky's history, and feeling his guilt, I knew that he had been the one. The one who came into my friend's house, the one who took me from my body guard, the one who gave me over to the evil men who took my memories.
But he was also the one who wasn't scared to touch my skin. The one who made my heart race with a single glance, the one that I felt drawn to help, the one I truly cared about. This is all so fucking confusing.
"Shit," I mumbled to myself exhausted and hurting.
I dragged my body to the bed, pulled off the boots and my dirty sweatpants. I laid on top of the covers in just my tank top, the oversized jacket and my underwear. Sleep overtook me allowing me to escape for just a moment.
BANG. The door to the motel room slammed open so hard that it bounced off the hay colored walls. My eyes flew open, I sat up searching in the dark trying to recover from the fear and adrenaline that surged through my blood. In the dark, I could see the outline of a broad man. I knew immediately who it was. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but my mouth was dry and words refused to pour out of me.
He moved like a tidal wave hitting the sandy beach. He was by my side, bare and metal hand reaching, face stitched in concern. I was torn; torn between turning away from him and turning towards him. I stared frozen like the cliché deer in the headlights.
"What have you done to yourself?" His voice floated through the cold air of the room. Apparently I looked as bad as I felt. He sat next to me, my body refusing to move away from him. My eyes connected to his stormy blues. An unspoken question pulsed through the room. He knew that I wanted to know, everything.
"Let me show you," his voice washed over me. I gave into the emotion filled memory he was trying to send me.
"Rosa, I think you should wear the black heels. Jerome is going to love you in those!" came the joy filled voice from the living room. I glanced through the window assessing the situation. This was my mission. Grab the girl. Bring her back to headquarters. The body guard was near; I must be careful.
The Rosa girl spun around in a frilly dress showing off for all of the girls at the sleep over.
The target was sitting towards the back. Her curly hair hung around her face; she seemed more reserved, more guarded than the other girls. There was something clearly different about her.
"What do you think August?" Rosa asked curious and genuine.
"I actually like the nude shoes better. But Rosa you could make a burlap sack look great," She commented smiling at the other girls.
I noticed some of the other girls sneer and roll their eyes. Apparently, they didn't like the target.
"You would know," someone said.
The target shrugged and laughed seemingly unphased by the comment.
"Whatever, Jessica. At least I don't have to stuff my bra." She threw back.
All of the girls laugh and 'Jessica' looked angry. She stood and turned towards the target.
"Well at least, I am not a freak! No wonder your parents 'disappeared.' I would want to get as far away from you as possible!"
August stood, body trembling, fists clenched. Suddenly, I felt a pulse of anger in my bones. The whole room looked angry in fact. This must be the power I was warned about.
"Oh bless your heart Jessica! It's just cute that you think that I give a damn about what you think. Maybe I'll make you disappear too," she huffed and moved away from the room. The target was clearly upset.
This was my chance. She headed towards the bathroom. I ran and circled the outside of the house and made my way to the bathroom window. I beat her to the bathroom and pulled myself through the window. This was going to be easy.
As I pulled myself behind the shower curtain, I considered all the possibilities for how this could play out.
The young girl slammed the door open. Tears were streaming down her face. I felt a twinge of guilt. I can't do this. She is innocent. I shook my head. I knew this was my mission. I didn't want to be electrocuted again. And I knew I had no choice. This is who I am.
She splashed water in her face and then gripped the edge of the sink taking audible breaths.
"You are in control. You can do this," I heard her sweet southern voice say to herself.
Peering through the small space between the shower wall and the curtain, I felt that same pang again. This is my mission, I reminded myself.
All of the sudden she grabbed a toothbrush and spun around facing the shower. Her eyes carried a fire in them.
"Who's there?" She demanded grasping the toothbrush.
I almost laughed. Brave little thing.
She abruptly threw the toothbrush with all her might at the shower curtain hitting my forehead with a thwack. My body moved without permission from my mind. I needed to get control of the situation and quick. My hand flew over her mouth and I pulled her against me.
She bit down on my gloved finger and I growled at her hauling her towards the window.
"Lemme th-mmmm fuck mmmhhhm go!" Came her muffled voice through my fingers. I ripped the window open with my metal arm and tried to push her through the window. Both of her feet planted on the wall right outside the window frame, keeping me from getting her through. She pushed with all of her strength, refusing to give up.
"Move." I commanded.
Her legs didn't move. She tried to yell at me through my hand. I turned pulling her away from the window. A knock sounded on the door.
"August, you okay? I'm sorry Jessica said that, it was totally uncalled for," came someone's voice.
I made eye contact with the target, her dark brown eyes pouring into mine. I couldn't do this. Not with her looking at me. I knew this was wrong. I checked to see if our skin was touching. It wasn't. What the hell had gotten into me? I knocked her hard on the back of the head, knocking her out effectively. As I carried her limp body to the get away car, I felt remorse for the first time in a long time.
I gasped for air. I felt like I had been water boarded in his feelings. I couldn't move, my body and my mind were so tired. I was in his arms. His forehead, his hand, touching my bare skin.
"Can I hold you?" he asked looking at my exhausted state. I couldn't even nod. I felt a weird mixture of his guilt, my fear, and strangely, relief that he was currently there.
His hand moved to pull the leather jacket off me. I realized I had broken out in a sweat. But at the same time I was cold.
"As much as I like seeing you in my jacket, it has to go." He mumbled moving closer to me.
After the jacket came off, I realized that we were spooning. This was the most skin to skin contact I had had in a while. It felt good. His energy was pouring into me and he was in turn taking my pain. His warm breath hit my ear and my skin broke out in goosebumps. Even though we still had two layers of clothes between us, it felt strangely intimate. His warmth wrapped around me like a cozy blanket. I let out an audible sigh and couldn't resist moving towards his heat. A groan broke from his lips, rumbling against my neck.
"Don't do that. I'm trying to be a gentleman," He laughed. I felt his lips against my neck as I spoke. Fuck this was all so confusing.
"Buck, I-"
"Don't speak, I can feel how tired you are. Rest, August. I want to tell- show you all that I remember, but for now it's more important that you sleep."
"Thanks Buck," I sleepily mumbled towards him wiggling against him again.
"Fuck. You can never follow directions, can you? I got you. It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you, Gus, sleep." He whispered. I truly felt safe.
"This doesn't mean yore off the hook James."
"I know, I know."
And with that sleep demanded that I give in and I fell into a dreamless sleep.