All the anecdotes Kakashi never share with Naruto

by Lucanael Del Sayan

In this universe Kakashi was sorted of adopted by Minato and later Kushina after his father's suicide. So they're a lot of little things he could tell Naruto about his parents but as an traumatized/emotionally stunted ninja he never could manage to share these memories tainted with grief.

3. Chapter 3

Title: Doodling

Author's Note: Inspired by this hilarious series by LullabyKnell, Team Seven vs Paperwork on AO3. Go read it!

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Minato Namikaze was known under many names: Yondaime Hokage, Konoha's Yellow Flash, the Flying Thunder God, Number One Optimist, The One Who Tamed The Red Hot-Blooded Habanero (that moniker was never used near Kushina, otherwise the shinobi who used it would have died in painful and really hot flames)… But one moniker was only used by Konoha's shinobi: the ultimate unrepentant doodler.

As a seal master and a genius there was always a portion of his mind working some new quirks to old seals or inventing new ones. Having learned to multitask in his early days as Genin, it never impended Minato ability to function as a Chunin, Jonin and later Kage. Jiraiya had taught him to always keep a stack of paper and a brush and use the first opportunity to jolt down some quick notes for later purview.

The only side effect of this was that Minato fell compelled to write his never stopping thought process on every available piece of paper. It wouldn't have been too bad if by the time Minato became the Yondaime Hokage, this habit was so deeply ingrained in his subconscious that every piece of paper left in a 5.4 meters radius for more than 23 seconds will have at least one doodle by his hands. Even when that piece of paper was firmly hold in another shinobi hands who would later swear they never relinquished it, nor saw Minato touching it. (He used the Flying Thunder God Technique so much in the war, it became another subconscious habit.)

It makes every administrative ninja shakes with dread before entering his office (knowing they would have to rewrite all the reports without their Hokage's doodle before properly filling it). There was a free for all combat every time something need the official Hokage's signature (first one unconscious was dropped with the paperwork in front of Minato office doors). The expression the sacrificing lamb makes once they wake up never fails to amuse the Anbu guards.

Most of those who know how bad that habit was thanked the deities that Minato never thought of expanding his doodling to other surfaces. Kushina later tell Kakashi that he tried but she put a firm stop to it (via chakra chains) because as much as she loved Fuinjutsu, she didn't want to live in an home carved with seals (furniture included) nor wanted to wear clothes covered in seals.

"Because you know the proverb: 'all things in moderation, except ramen'."

"The last part definitively isn't in the proverb…"

Kakashi learned so many degrees of the disbelief emotion spectrum living with Minato and Kushina (How could some people thought these utterly weird two could be the best Hokage's candidates?!), that it never fails to makes him laugh (internally) every time he heard someone praised them.