Thank you so much for the reviews! This is exactly why I wrote this story, because I love Catherine so much and I know Richard did too. I wanted her to have that unconditional love, and to get to "give" her that through writing Richard's point of view. :) Richard is me, too, Issi.

Chapter 9

"Watch out for that branch!"

Richard barely missed it, as he quickly urged his horse to the right so that he could lean far enough away to avoid been knocked out of his saddle. Henry laughed at him.

"Are you sure you're safe to ride with us this morning, Richard?! You're half-asleep! What's the matter with you, man?!"

"I'm fine, Henry. I didn't sleep well last night, that's all." He yawned widely.

Henry chuckled. "Too much late-night indulgence, I say! Or not enough late-night indulgence – you need to relax more."

Richard laughed too, to show agreement with Henry. He didn't need to know that he could not sleep for his mind replaying the conversation and the kiss he shared with his wife, did he?

"When was the last time you really relaxed and had some fun?" enquired Henry. "You've been too long without a lady in your life, my friend."

"Oh God, not this again!" Richard groaned inwardly.

"You're lucky I'm here to help!" Henry stated confidently.

"Henry - "

His friend stopped his horse and looked at him.

"What?"

"Nothing… I don't know." Richard dismounted and walked with his horse through the trees to the lakeside, leaving the animal to drink while he walked distractedly along the lake.

His friend did the same, following Richard as he strode across to the lakeside. "What is going on with you, Richard? You're not the same fellow I remember from our youth! You're distracted and irritable all the time, it seems. You shun every woman I send your way – what on earth is the problem?!"

"Perhaps I have set my standards too high!" Richard felt angry and frustrated, and he wanted to lash out.

"And so you should!" Henry increased his pace to keep up with his friend. "A man such as yourself – a Viscount, no less! – ought to be aiming very high in terms of a marriage match."

Richard stopped, and turned to face Henry, exhaling his exasperation.

"That's not really it. I know plenty of eligible ladies… but not one of them pleases me enough."

Henry scoffed at his friend's audacity. "You are rather unkind in your criticism of the ladies at court!"

"I don't mean to be, Henry. It just frustrates me! They are nice, but dull! Pretty, but not beautiful. Entertaining, but not captivating, you know?" Richard swung his palm against an obliging tree trunk. "I begin to despair of ever finding the perfect woman."

Henry laughed bitterly. "That's a rare jewel! Nobody finds the perfect woman!"

Richard felt himself tremble with anger towards Henry. He knew that Henry had married the perfect woman, and yet he was too blind to see it with his own eyes. He felt twisted up inside with envy, wanting Henry's wife for himself so badly that he could hardly see straight.

Seeing his friend wearing such a troubled expression, Henry tried again. "You could always just marry one of them and take a mistress." He laughed. "Best of both worlds!"

Richard could take no more of it. He thrashed angrily through the undergrowth, taking a shortcut back to his horse; mounted, and rode back to the castle at a gallop, leaving Henry thoroughly perplexed and annoyed at his friend.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Catherine was outside the stables, wearing her riding habit, when Richard slammed out from taking his horse to the stable hand upon his return. His anger still bubbled over, and he didn't even see Catherine until he almost knocked her over in his fury.

"Richard!" she gasped, steadying herself by clutching his sleeve. "What on earth is the matter!"

Richard scrambled to stop her from falling, horrified that he'd almost hurt her.

"Oh! I'm so sorry, Catherine! I – I didn't see you!" He stood back, looking down at her widened soft brown eyes questioning him, her red-gold hair tumbling in curls over her shoulders, contrasting beautifully against her black riding habit, and the way she was biting her lower lip nervously as she watched him. All of a sudden, he could not get enough air. He had to move, to stop gazing at her, stop being suffocated by the strength of his feelings for her. Henry had angered him so, and his frustrations were so great that he could not be still yet.

"I'm sorry," he uttered, setting her gently aside with his hands on her shoulders, "I need to… to get some air."

He strode off towards the gardens as fast as he could walk, taking his anger out on the ground with his boots as he went.

"Richard!" He heard her voice far behind him, but he didn't stop. "Richard! Wait!" She was panting, and he couldn't make her agitated on his behalf, he simply couldn't, so he slowed down to allow her to catch up.

"What is it?" she asked breathlessly, her eyes full of concern as she leaned against the edge of the fountain they had come to, trying to catch her breath.

"Henry! That's what it is!" Richard thrust his foot into the side of a tree trunk, unable to contain his frustration. He looked at Catherine, sitting on the edge of the stone surrounding the fountain, and sighed, suddenly feeling embarrassed at his display of angry aggression.

"You know, Henry is my oldest friend," he reminisced. "We played together as boys, and we've been close ever since. I don't know what it is. We enjoy some of the same interests, but I think it's more a connection that has to do with personality. We just understand each other. It's a good foundation for a lasting friendship."

Catherine waited for him to continue, and after a while she prompted him softly. "Go on?"

"Lately, I just don't feel like I know him anymore. I don't understand him, or see things in the same light as him. His views perplex me and frustrate me."

"And anger you…" she suggested gently.

"Yes." Richard rubbed his forehead, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "It's awkward, when we've been good friends for so long. I'm sure he's confused by my behaviour."

Catherine looked at him thoughtfully. "What has triggered it? Something must have caused you to feel like you don't understand him anymore."

"Well, that's obvious, isn't it?" Richard bent and picked up a handful of small stones, tossing one of them into the fountain with a plop. He watched the surface ripple in circles until they reached the smooth rock edge, before he added, "You are the something."

Catherine shook her head slightly, confused. "I'm not sure if I follow."

Richard sighed in exasperation. "It's what I was saying to you before. You know my feelings for you. Henry and I talk openly about his feelings, his perspective on his relationships, including yours. When we talk of these things now, I struggle to compose myself! It just makes me so angry that he can justify what he's doing to you. He explains, but it makes no sense to me, none at all! I begin to think that he's a fool, and the more I feel that way, the more I begin to dislike him. It's hard to continue an old friendship when you dislike the person who was once your best friend."

She looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry to be the cause of a rift in your friendship with Henry."

Richard almost gave a laugh. "It's not your fault, Catherine! You can't help that he's being an idiot, or that he can't see the gift that he's got right in front of him!" He threw the rest of the little stones into the fountain, and sighed. "And you can't help that I fell in love with you." He looked at her, and her eyes flicked away from his when she saw him looking. "If you're in love with someone, and another person hurts them, you can't hold any sort of friendliness for that person in your heart – best friend or not. It's just the way it is."

He walked over to the stone slab that edged the fountain, and sat next to Catherine. She was silent for a little while, turning things over in her mind.

"It must be a difficult situation for you, Richard. It can't be easy to have such conflicting feelings, and to have to hide them always."

He shrugged. "I have had years of practice. It seems normal to me. But it's harder lately," he admitted. "It's easy to love you, but harder to be friends with Henry when he hurts you." Hesitantly, he patted her hand, next to him on the smooth stone. "My instinct is to protect you. I can't deal well with things if I'm forced to push down my instinct and pretend I don't feel the way I do, so that Henry never knows."

"I hardly feel worthy of such adoration!" Catherine tried a nervous little laugh, and he hoped he wasn't making her uncomfortable by talking so frankly about his feelings for her. He removed his hand from hers, and stood, ready to continue walking back towards the castle.

"You are worthy of everything. Never forget that, Catherine."