Chapter 18

Knocking at Henry's door, Richard waited. Hadn't he said he would need Richard there by eight o'clock that morning? Henry was usually so prompt. Perhaps he had the day wrong? He would just knock once more, a little harder in case Henry was still sleeping for some reason, and then try the stables in case he had set out early and gone ahead.

Raising his hand to the door to knock again, he stopped suddenly. He heard sounds from within. Henry must not have heard him the first time. Another sound – Henry's deep chuckle, followed by a pleasured groan. His jaw tightened. He had someone in there with him. Of course, Henry could do whatever he chose, but Richard felt for Catherine if she should find out. Knocking again, his heart sank as he heard a squeal and a giggle from somewhere within Henry's chambers. He would know Catherine's luscious giggle anywhere. He wished he could just disappear, or that he'd realised she was there before knocking a second time. Someone approached the door inside the room, and he heard a bolt being drawn back – Richard winced. There was no other reason for Henry and Catherine to lock the door unless –

"Richard! What... Oh! I completely forgot! Forgive me. Could we… can we rearrange for another time?" Henry, wearing little more than his rich velvet robe pulled tightly around him, seemed distracted.

"Of course, but didn't you say it was important? We had to start out by a quarter past eight, remember?"

"Uh, yes. Yes! You're quite right." He rubbed his head in agitation. "Look, give me ten minutes to get ready. Would you mind? You could wait here, or I can meet you at the stables." He closed the door, and Richard heard the bolt being pushed through again. He sighed, letting his head fall forwards. Did he want to wait here? He didn't really trust that Henry would be getting straight into his clothes – hell, if he was in the room with Catherine, getting dressed would be the last thing on his mind too. Thumping his back against the wall heavily, he leaned his head back on the cold stone and closed his eyes, hoping to shut out the misery that had closed over him the moment he realised the woman he loved was in Henry's arms. He was outside looking in. And she was happier in there with Henry, than out here with him.

The muffled sound of a sudden lustful gasp from Catherine made him leap from his position as though he had been stung, and he set off immediately for the stables, not wanting to have to overhear anything else from Henry's chambers that morning.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Richard was lying on his bed one evening, a couple of days later. He needed to get out from under the weight that seemed to be holding him down these past two days, but he just felt too apathetic to do anything about it. He had had a strained morning with Henry after leaving his chambers the other day. They had exchanged such little conversation, and Richard had struggled to respond to much of anything that Henry said, that eventually Henry had accused him of being in poor spirits that morning, and treated him rather coldly. Things had gone little better with Catherine. He had seen her once in passing, and even then, he couldn't bring himself to maintain eye contact with her. He rolled up into a sitting position, and let his head rest against his knees pulled up to his chest.

At that moment, there came a knock to his door. Looking up and calling out for the visitor to come in, he was dismayed to see Catherine coming into the room – though his heart betrayed him with a leap of joy at the sight of her. She closed the door quietly behind her, and turned to face him. Her hands were folded carefully at her waistline, which was thus far still slender enough in appearance, and she looked uncomfortable, somehow. He couldn't tell whether her expression was one of nervous apprehension or uncertainty.

"Catherine," he said as cheerfully as he could, brightening his expression and sitting up straighter. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

She smiled, but her eyes stayed large and worried. "You've been avoiding me."

As he attempted to disagree with her, she held up her hand and closed her eyes, and he fell silent. "I've noticed. You're – you're usually so attentive." Richard looked down at his knees as Catherine crossed the room and sat down beside him on the bed. "So I thought – I knew something must be wrong." She fiddled with her wedding ring. "I told you before that I never wanted you to get hurt… but it seems like it has happened all the same." She looked into his face questioningly, trying to get him to return her gaze.

Richard took her hand, but he couldn't look at her. He truly did feel hurt – betrayed, if he was honest, although that was ridiculous of him. He knew what he was getting into when he first fell for Catherine, and when they first kissed, and when he took her to bed while Henry was away. He knew. So he had no right to feel betrayed.

"Won't you say something? Your silence is worrying me."

"I'm sorry, I really am. I don't mean to make you anxious."

"It's about Henry and me, isn't it?..." A silence. "Richard?"

"Catherine, I don't want to interfere or cause trouble where my presence does not belong in the first place. I – I am so sorry to upset you! I feel I've been the source of difficulty all along." He sighed. "You are right, I am struggling since I discovered you at Henry's chambers the other morning. I had no idea it would affect me so."

"You felt hurt." Her words were more a statement than a question.

"Yes." He looked down at her hand, so small and soft inside his own hand. His feelings overwhelmed him, and he looked up at her earnestly with tears in his eyes. Her breath caught as she saw them.

"I can't bear it! I can't bear to think of you in his arms! I know you love him – I know you will always give him another chance because you love him so much, but - " he broke off, trying to keep his breathing steady. "Henry has hurt you deeply before, and I just feel that - what if he hurts you again?! I am truly happy for you that you have his favour right now, but I can't help thinking… thinking that he'll treat you badly and hurt you again, and yet he still he gets YOU. You, who I would gladly die for if it was asked of me." He pushed his hands through his hair and pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes for a moment. "It does hurt me. That's all that's wrong. Nothing more."

He looked at Catherine, sitting beside him on his bed, where they had shared pleasure, laughter and companionship, and declared their love for each other. She shimmered in a soft blue dress with ruffled lace around her pretty neckline. Loose curls fell around her shoulders and down her back; a little of her hair was drawn up into a blue ribbon at the back. She looked so beautiful. Lately, she had a healthy glow about her – her cheeks were rosy and her eyes sparkled. At this moment though, they sparkled with tears, threatening to spill down over those lovely cheeks. How he hated to see her unhappy!

Lost for words to say to each other, Richard took her in his arms, and they embraced, just holding on in the emotion-filled silence, for a long time.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Henry slammed the book onto his desk. Richard looked up in surprise, noticing his thunderous expression and his distractedness.

"What did that book do to you?!"

Henry was in no mood for his friend's humour, and ignored him, beginning to write. In the silence of the room, Richard could hear the quill scratching angrily, until finally Henry seemed to be irritated by that too, and tossed it against the ink well.

"Henry," Richard put down his book. "What is wrong? You've been in a cloud all morning!"

Henry sat back in his chair forcefully, the wood creaking alarmingly with the impact. "I bought Catherine a pearl necklace and gave it to her last night."

"How could that possibly cause such miseries?!"

"She acted strange." Henry threw up his hands in exasperation. "Women! I will never understand them! I thought everything was going so well. It seemed as though we were getting back to the way we used to be together."

Richard swallowed carefully. "What happened?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"She thanked me so coldly! And lost interest in my presence shortly thereafter, it seemed!" Henry stood and paced, tense and agitated. "Richard, she turned me down when I suggested I stay – that's the first time since, oh, months and months ago, when I was only visiting her out of duty."

Richard looked down, his eyes absently wandering the interlacing pattern on the large rug. So, it had begun. Poor Catherine.

"And when I tried to talk to her about it – I mean, obviously I knew something was bothering her – she wouldn't. I asked her if I had done something wrong, and she said that all my recent attention was making her feel closed in, and that she needed her space!"

Henry swung round, connecting his fist with the back of his chair with a crash that echoed through the room. He was angry, Richard could see that, but then, they had expected that much.

"I can do no right where Catherine is concerned! She is so unpredictable! It reminded me of why we went our separate ways when we did. At least she is no longer pressing me incessantly about conceiving an heir, but I do not understand her at all, Richard!"

Richard made a vague attempt to sympathise and commiserate, but he had no idea what to say to Henry. He had long since lost his respect and admiration for him, and all he could think about was Catherine. He was surprised that she hadn't told him about the altercation with Henry straight away.

At lunch time, he headed straight for Catherine's chambers to see if she was there. She was. Her lady in waiting was serving her a light luncheon and she bade Richard join her, since he had arrived at just the right time. When the door closed behind her lady, Catherine turned to her lunch and began to eat hungrily.

"Catherine, Henry told me about yesterday. I wanted to check on you to see if you were doing okay."

"Thank you, I appreciate it." Catherine's smile looked to Richard to be a little forced. "I am doing fine. It was something we were anticipating – there's no avoiding it. I think it went according to plan." She betrayed no emotion at all.

"I should say so." Richard helped himself to a sandwich. "Henry has been in a foul mood all morning. He was quite angry and confused, as you said he would be."

She paused, swallowing thoughtfully. "Do you think it will put him off?" she asked, "Or might he be persistent?"

"That is yet to be seen," answered Richard honestly. Catherine said no more, and they ate their lunch in silence, Richard watching her constantly, feeling quite sure that she was in no way dealing with all of this "fine". If she didn't want to acknowledge it, he could hardly force her to, so he let it be for now, making a mental note to keep a close eye on her as the difficult situation with Henry progressed.

/

AN: I'm so sorry it's heartbreaking! I'm sad for all three of them, but enjoying unpacking all the emotion and angst of their story, all the same. Thanks so much for the encouraging reviews!