She's running, tears blurring her vision, head pounding and a piercing ache in her heart. She wants to gouge her eyes out, hoping to unsee a sleeping naked Peeta spooning a sleeping naked Delly. How could he. He told her always. She stops at a clearing, falls on her knees. Sobs wrack through her body rising to a pitch as she realizes all is lost. There's no forgiveness after this. No going back. She knew falling for the baker's son was not a good idea. She was never supposed to fall in love. It makes you weak and sure enough here she is wondering how she will continue without him.
The next day he's at her door, tears streaming down his face pleading for forgiveness. She can't do it, her broken heart won't let her. "It's over Peeta, you made sure of that."
She heard he's married now and with a baby on the way. That's good she knows how hard it is to be without a parent. He'll make a good father. Since she doesn't want to run into him she stopped trading in town. Katniss hugs her mom because even though Peeta's not dead she feels herself slipping into depression and she can finally understand a little of what her mom went through. God, she misses him, her heart and body call out for him but he belongs to another now.
She remembers the first time he opened the door for the morning trade, with a bashful smile and a soft "hello". He was trying to give her more thank the squirrels were worth. She had to decline, not wanting to cheat her costumers plus he was new to the trade. As she was about to leave she tells him "Peeta thank you for the bread" he gives her a smile and a nod of understanding, nothing more needs to be said. After that conversation flows easily between them. He was funny and charming, she was sarcastic and spunky. Slowly they became friends. He was always asking her about the deep stuff. Favorite color green, favorite food, cheese buns, his were orange and squirrel.
When he asked her to go for a walk she didn't hesitate to say yes. That night when he walked her home afterwards they hugged goodnight, she melted into his embrace. He held her in his arms making her feel so safe, she hasn't felt like that since her father died. Right there and then she knew she was a goner. The day he ask her to be his girlfriend he was so nervous. "Katniss, I was wondering…do you think you could…would you like to be." he take a deep breath "would you be my girlfriend." She answered "yes" with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. He face radiated with happiness it was so infectious that by the end of the day she was beaming with joy too.
Six month before their last reaping he asked her to marry him. He was down on one knee a silver necklace with a single pearl in hand. She never wanted to get married or have children but Peeta always made her feel like anything was possible as long as they did it together so she tells him "yes". The go to her fathers cabin by the lake the next day. They swim, they eat, and they lay in the sun exploring each others bodies. Both with soft spoken words of "I love you's" and "always". That's over now. Most days she wonders in a daze going through the motions waiting for life to have meaning again.
Most people know what happened and are saying he was only stringing her along, playing at taming the huntress. Because what merchant man would marry a girl from the seam. Maybe they're right but it felt so real. They look at her with pity except for Darius. He still treats he the same. Always flirting and joking trying to get a smile out of her.
"You know Kitty, the offer is still open, a kiss for a rabbit" Darius says.
He grabs her braid and starts to play with the end. She playfully smacks his hand away and turns to look at Greasy Sae and they both shake their and start laughing. Darius slides over the bottle of white liquor and she takes a long pull. This is the first time in months that she's felt like herself again. The more they drink the rowdier they get. Darius drapes his arm over her shoulder and she leans in. She's been so lonely and this feels nice. They are getting stares but she could care less. She goes to kiss his cheek and thank him for being her friend. He turns his face at the last minute and she ends up pecking him on the lips. They both freeze and stare at each other. He can tell it was an accident "You owe me a rabbit" he tells her and they burst out laughing again.
Geasy Sae lowers her head and said "You two will be the talk of the district tomorrow but you know what will really get these gossipers going" Darius and Katniss nod their head for her to keep going. "Katniss you go back to Darius's room stay there for awhile then go home". She and Darius are drunk enough to think this is a good idea. He pays for another bottle of liquor, grabs her hand and they head off to his room. He tells her he has some new books and if she would like to borrow them. They both like to read and are always sharing books with one another. She picks out a couple of books and they wait for about 30 minutes then he walks her home.
She wakes up with a pounding headache. She groans as she heads of to the bathroom, worst hangover ever. When she leaves the bathroom her mom is standing there with her hands on her hips.
"I've heard you were with Darius last night" her mom said.
"Yes mom but nothing happened. I just borrowed some books" she tells her. Her mom just nods.
"Not that there's anything wrong if you did Katniss. I know you are a responsible adult but it might be too soon after Peeta" her mom said.
Oh no, Peeta what will her think. She stops and scolds herself, what does is matter she's single and besides he's marry now. She shouldn't care what he thinks he sure didn't when he cheated on her.
Even with a hangover she feels lighter and is ready to put her plan in motion. She tells her mom and sister during breakfast that she wants to stay for a few weeks at her father's cabin. They have plenty of food stored so they should be fine for awhile. They see how excited she looks and tell her they think it's a good idea. She meets up with Darius at Greasy Sae's stall. All three laugh at how well Sae's planned worked out. She tells them she'll be gone or a few weeks so they won't worry.
It takes a couple days for her to get everything together for her trip but finally she heading out. She's by the weak spot in the fence concealed by a clump of bushes when she hears him. She can tell it's him by his heavy tread. As quietly as she can she slips under the fence. Don't look back she tells herself. There is nothing there for you but pain but she can't resist. She looks through a gap in the bushes. He's sitting at their old spot. Where they would meet and watch the sunrise or sunset. Yep there's that pain again. It's not as piercing thought. He looks a mess, bags under his eyes; hallow cheeks, his hair is sticking up in all directions and a couple days of scruff on his face. She wants to go to him, hug him but she can't. Walk away she tells herself and she does.