Arthur was relieved when Merlin finally fell asleep. He waited until Merlin's heartbeat slowed and stayed slow before moving him onto the bedroll. Merlin immediately rolled closer and began sucking his thumb. Around them, the men slowly reanimated. Leon chuckled to himself and Arthur looked at him with a raised brow. "I was just thinking that it really does take a village, Sire."
Arthur chuckled as well. To think it had taken a roomful of knights to get Merlin to sleep – Morgana would never let him live it down! He sobered quickly; there were things to be discussed.
Beginning with, "Lancelot, am I correct in thinking that you will not be coming back to Camelot with us?"
Lancelot's expression became serious. "Yes. There are things I need to take care of, the most urgent being that I find Gwaine."
The men formed a semi-circle around Arthur facing Lancelot. Leon leaned in. "Do you think he was captured?"
Lancelot sighed. "I can't be sure but he would not have missed the rendezvous without good reason. I disposed of the squad that followed my trail and the squad I encountered on Hunith's trail. As I understand it, that was the second squad on her trail," he looked at Arthur questioningly. Arthur nodded his confirmation. "Cenred sent a second squad along Hunith's trail but I don't know if he also sent second squads on the other trails. I may have missed the second squad on my trail when I cut across to the meet point. Perhaps Gwaine was caught unawares by a second squad."
Lamorak cleared his throat, drawing their attention. "If he was captured, how do you expect to get him out alone? You'll need help."
Lancelot swallowed and Arthur tensed at the nervous tell. "If he was captured… I don't expect to be able to get him out. Not alive. I will try, but it's a near-impossible mission. He knew that. We both did. Getting Merlin out would have made sure Cenred locked down the castle."
Arthur's anger rose – weren't these men friends? How could Lancelot be resigned to failure without even trying? He wanted to ask why Lance would even bother returning but Leon reacted faster, sounding startled. "A mercy pact? Did you make a mercy pact?"
The older knights seemed to know what he was referring to, but Arthur did not understand and it set him off guard. "What is that?"
Lancelot nodded, very deliberately keeping his eyes down, but did not speak. It was Lamorak that answered. "A mercy pact is only made under extreme duress. It means that if caught, they expect to be tortured with no possibility of escape. It means that, if they cannot be freed alive, then they will be freed in death."
Again, Lancelot nodded but now his eyes were frantically checking to make sure Merlin was still asleep. Arthur was stricken. Though he was the only heir to Camelot's throne (officially anyway), he was not spared any part of a knight's training. He knew that torture was very real and it had been ingrained in him that no matter what he was subjected to, he could never reveal Camelot's secrets. But Lancelot and Gwaine were not knights. They had no training to prepare them, and, worse, they had some idea of what to expect from being captured. For them to agree to that kind of obligation, the burden of killing a friend, out of mercy…
He nearly missed Lance's quiet words. "I told you about the two other guards Gwaine and I started with? I told you they were beheaded, which is the truth, but…" He took a breath to steady himself. "Before they were beheaded, Dieter and Peter were beaten, burned, flogged, and flayed. Cenred tortured them non-stop and for those long hours, they were never allowed to go unconscious." He took a shaky breath. "With all of the magic at his disposal, Cenred can keep prisoners on the cusp of death forever if he wanted it, without the mercy of unconsciousness or sleep. Men have gone mad from it, so desperate for relief that they have to be kept restrained to keep them from killing themselves. Peter and Dieter were lucky to have only endured such punishment overnight." His eyes settled forlornly on Merlin. "If Gwaine or I were caught, Cenred would keep us that way until he caught Merlin. And if he caught Merlin, he would make Merlin watch, maybe even force him to 'practice' on us. When he tired of his game, he would make Merlin kill us. We can't put that on him. We won't." When he looked up at Arthur, his eyes were desperate but determined. "If Gwaine has been caught, I will do everything possible to get him out alive. But I made my promise. We both did. We knew what could happen."
Arthur respected Lancelot for his courage, Gwaine as well. It spoke volumes about their characters that they were more concerned about adding to Merlin's torment than they were about the prospect of being tortured indefinitely. Another unpleasant thought crossed his mind and he swallowed the sour taste in his mouth to ask the dreaded question. "Did Cenred use… was Merlin," he couldn't finish the question but there must have been enough in his expression for Lancelot to guess his intent.
"No, Merlin endured his own punishment that night." His expression became one of disgust. "Cenred has other sorcerers, and some of those others are sadistic enough to want to participate."
With that concern alleviated, Arthur's mind turned to more practical ideas. He wanted desperately for these men to survive, if only because he hated to see such honorable men laid low. He couldn't aid them personally, and Uther would never let him send a few knights along into Cenred's land, it would be tantamount to a declaration of war. There were, however, other things he could offer, "I would like to extend you some assistance. Are you sure you won't come to Camelot even for a day?"
"It would just make it harder on Merlin. He doesn't want me to leave even though he knows I must. He's resigned to it, but the longer I stay with him, the harder it will be for him to let me go." Lancelot gave Arthur a measuring look. "Besides, doesn't need me anymore," he admitted with a small smile. "He's asked me to look for Hunith. From here, I can cut straight across to the border at Ascetir and search the area for any traces of her. It also brings me towards northern Escetir which is closer to my goal. Gwaine was supposed to head for the forest of Geancy."
Arthur agreed. "Leon, do you still carry a second map?" The atmosphere in the room shifted to the practicalities of action.
Leon dug it out of his pack and laid it out in the center. Arthur pointed along the ridge of Ascetir. "Hunith sent Merlin straight through the swamp right into the forest of Ascetir. I think she headed further along the ridge." He paused, trying to remember the details in the memory Merlin had shown him. "I may be wrong, but I think she headed south. It also fits with where Edwin focused his search. He started just south of Ealdor and was heading toward Engerd, checking on both sides of the border." He pointed to a village on the near side of the forest. "Go to this village for a few days. I will send a man to you there."
Lancelot studied Arthur suspiciously, or curiously. "Why?"
Arthur rolled his eyes, ignoring the indignant flare at Lancelot's look. "So that I will know where to send my man."
Lancelot rolled his eyes in return. "I meant, why do you want to help me?"
"Because you helped Merlin." Arthur kept his voice steady, pulling his formal mask into place in the hope that Lancelot would yield without asking further questions.
Lancelot studied him a while more, perhaps wondering if Arthur's motive was really that simple, before nodding. "I will wait there."
Arthur was relieved that Lancelot had not needed further persuading. "Good. You can keep this map, I'll buy Leon a new one," he ignored Leon's dismissal. "But while it's out, let's plan our return route to Camelot."
Merlin stirred and everyone held still but it was no use. Arthur supposed that Merlin hadn't been as tired today given his struggle to stay awake. Merlin stretched languidly and, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, he searched out Arthur first. "Already awake?" Merlin gave him a slow nod so Arthur pulled him into his lap. Merlin offered a shy wave to the group as he settled happily against Arthur.
"As I was saying, the return route. I don't want to head back the way we came so we'll have to cut across to the road." He sat back as Leon, Caradoc, and Owain proposed different routes. There were trade-offs on all of them; the heavily forested route offered more cover but would slow their progress. Other paths risked uncertain river crossings. Funnily enough, it was Merlin that gave the best solution. He leaned out of Arthur's lap to trace his own route. "Is that the way you came, Merlin?"
He nodded eagerly. Leon studied the route. "It works. It's fairly direct. If Merlin managed to cross that terrain on Tidbit, we should have no problems and we'll only be a few leagues out from Camelot once we reach the road."
Merlin was studying the map closely, his small finger counting out the river crossings. Finally, he pointed to one spot urgently. "Wolves!"
Arthur's heart gave a great thump. "Merlin, did you run into wolves on your way?"
Merlin shivered and nodded. Arthur frowned and asked "How did you get away?"
He was interrupted by Caradoc, who asked, "Is that why Tidbit had blood on his leg?" Arthur turned to him sharply. He hadn't noticed Tidbit limping or showing any sign of injury.
Merlin looked between both of them, nodding in response to both questions. "Um," he murmured something too quietly to hear followed by "a shield." Coughing, he looked at Arthur a bit fearfully, so Arthur rubbed his arms soothingly and nodded approvingly. "But, um, they bit T-tidbit and, um, um, scratched m-my leg." Merlin gnashed his teeth and pulled up his pant leg to point to where he'd been hurt.
Caradoc was shaking his head, leaning close to look at the welts on Merlin's leg. "I found blood but no injury on Tidbit."
Merlin pointed to himself proudly and let his eyes flash golden. "Healed him!"
Arthur smiled. He knew how precious Tidbit was to Merlin, it would have been a great loss if the pony had been hurt badly. "Good job, Merlin." But Merlin wasn't done. He leaned out of Arthur's embrace to wave at Caradoc, an excited smile on his face, pulling away from Arthur's attempts to wipe his nose. With his fingers, he walked them along the route he'd traced previously, taking great care to mime a jump over the river.
Caradoc gave Merlin a proud smile, saying, "You jumped on your own!" Merlin nodded excitedly. "Good job, Merlin. You're the best student I've ever had. It's only been a handful of weeks and you've already proven yourself an excellent rider!"
Arthur echoed the praise. "Skilled and brave, Merlin." Merlin blushed and turned to hide his face in Arthur's chest.
The rest of the day went by swiftly. Arthur left Merlin with Lancelot while he and the knights trained – trust Leon to remember training – and packed up. He watched from afar as Lancelot talked to Merlin, anticipating but still aching when Merlin began to cry as Lancelot explained his plans. Merlin stayed close to Lancelot after that, helping him pack, mangling the clothes in his attempt to fold them, and sitting beside him during supper. Lancelot coaxed Merlin into playing for a bit but it ended abruptly when it was Lancelot's turn to hide and Merlin panicked, thinking the game had been a trick to distract him while Lancelot left for good. It was only at bedtime that Merlin returned to Arthur, curling up small and tight against him, clinging desperately to him. Arthur let him, feeling Merlin cry to himself to sleep while he whispered comforting words to him. It was as well they were leaving early – without Merlin bolstering the atmosphere, the room sank into silence early.
The morning was subdued as well. Even the sky seemed to reflect Merlin's sadness, the sky was covered in grey clouds that threatened to drown them in cold, depressing rain. Merlin wept large, silent tears as he ate his breakfast – or what Arthur could coax into him – and clung to Arthur. He didn't want to say goodbye to Lancelot, but Arthur peeled him off and thrust him into Lancelot's equally reluctant arms. "If you don't hug him now, you'll only regret it later. Trust me." He wasn't sure if he was addressing Merlin or Lancelot or both, but he patted Merlin's head softly, "It's not goodbye forever."
He tied Tidbit's reins to Llamrei's saddle while they said their goodbyes to give them some privacy. When they were done hugging, Arthur let Merlin cling to him, mounting Llamrei a bit awkwardly. Merlin didn't protest, he was hiding his tears in Arthur's shirt. As they rode out, he crawled up higher in Arthur's arms to wave at Lancelot until they lost sight of him. "You'll see him again, Merlin. He knows how to take care of himself and I'll take care of you."
It wasn't until midmorning that Merlin got himself under control. He pointed at Tidbit pleadingly and Arthur called a halt until Merlin was safely saddled on his pony with Arthur's larger blanket wrapped around him to ward off the persistent chill. The day passed uneventfully with only short stops every few hours. They ate lunch on the go, Arthur watching carefully to make sure Merlin ate all of his trail rations. He also made sure Merlin drank his tea; though his coughing had mostly subsided, his nose was still runny.
The further they travelled, the more the effects of the storm decreased. Wildlife filled the woods with their noises and movements again, and the snow lessened greatly. The cloud cover disappeared until they were once again travelling beneath a clear blue sky. At a river crossing in the late afternoon, Merlin perked up. He nervously rode closer to Arthur and scanned the woods continuously. Guessing at the reason, Arthur asked, "Is this where you saw the wolves, Merlin?"
Merlin startled and looked at him worriedly. Arthur reached down to ruffle his hair reassuringly and Leon closed ranks beside them. "They probably aren't in the area anymore, Merlin. Not unless they have a den around here."
Leon ruffled Merlin's hair as well. "Besides, you don't have to be afraid, Merlin. You're not alone now – you have all of us to protect you. Wolves won't come near a group as large as ours."
Merlin took a deep breath and reached down to pat Tidbit, almost a mimic of Arthur and Leon's actions. Arthur smiled – he surmised that Merlin was comforting his pony.
They rode until they found the road just after dusk and set up camp in a heavily wooded and not easily visible spot. Merlin reached for Arthur as soon as he dismounted. Arthur knew he was unlikely to let go once latched on, so he coaxed Merlin into riding on his back so that Arthur could still help set up camp. He volunteered to fetch firewood and used the opportunity to talk to Merlin. He gently set Merlin down, unsurprised when Merlin's little blue light appeared over their heads.
"No, Merlin. We're too close to the road. You shouldn't use your magic anymore," he said as he kneeled next to Merlin.
Merlin whimpered. It's too dark.
Arthur rubbed Merlin's arms soothingly. "We'll soon have a fire going. Can you help me gather some firewood? I'll get some good size branches; you get some thin dry twigs for kindling." He waited until the light disappeared and guided Merlin's clammy hand to his leg, letting him latch on there to keep his own hands free. As they gathered wood, Merlin gained enough confidence to let go of Arthur's leg as he picked kindling. When they had enough wood, he showed Merlin how to arrange the wood and light it with the flint. Merlin seemed honestly surprised that the flint was able to start a fire and Arthur let him practice striking it while he shook out their bedrolls.
While dinner cooked, Leon led another training session and they managed to get a few smiles out of Merlin by getting him involved again. Merlin remained jumpy the whole time, startling at every owl's hoot and trying desperately to see the bats whispering overhead. As the darkness deepened, he stayed close to Arthur, trailing after him wherever he walked and crawling into his lap whenever he sat. Geraint was the one that figured out how to calm Merlin – after every sound, he called out an identification of the creature. Leon then started explaining more about the animals and as Merlin listened, enthralled, he finally began to relax. It became a competition to be the first to call out the animals' names until the night sounds settled into the background. Merlin finally fell asleep in Arthur's arms listening to the men talk and banter around the fire.
Leon chose that moment to bring up the important issue of arranging their story. Arthur had already given it some thought and with contributions from everyone, they soon had a solid cover story that explained their success without revealing Merlin's magic. Arthur was tempted to remind his men of their promise, but one look at all of their determined faces told him that they intended to honor It, especially since he caught more than one sympathetic glance whenever Merlin coughed.
Because the night was still exceedingly cold, the men paired off for sleeping partners and watch partners, laying their bedrolls in a circular pattern as close to the fire as possible. Leon joined his bedroll with Arthur's, overlapping them with Merlin's little blanket so he would have a little more protection from the cold ground where he laid between them. Arthur draped his last clean shirt over Merlin's head like a hat knowing that the night was likely going to get a lot colder, before settling down next to him.
He woke when he felt Merlin move, crawling so close that he was almost on top of Arthur. Arthur immediately reached to embrace him and make sure he was still covered. Despite being closest to the fire, Arthur's nose and face were stinging cold and his body felt slightly chilled. Merlin, being so much thinner and smaller, must have felt the cold even more so. His coughing remained controlled and his nose was no longer as runny, but it wasn't the cold that had Merlin trembling. As he clung to Arthur, Merlin's head swiveled frantically, desperately searching their surroundings. His magic was sparking in his eyes but Arthur didn't think Merlin was casting – it was likely responding to his fear without his conscious control. Whispering softly, Arthur asked, "What it is, Merlin?"
There were wolves! He whimpered pitifully. I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm sorry! I forgot to put up a ward. I'm sorry!
Arthur hushed him and sat up when Merlin's eyes began to glow. "No, Merlin. No wards! We're too close to the road," he whispered urgently. Leon turned to watch them but didn't interfere. Merlin stood up, using Arthur to steady himself as he kept scanning the forest.
But what if the wolves come back? Merlin stared at him with teary eyes.
Arthur pulled him closer. "They won't, Merlin. Remember what Leon said – they won't come near a group the size of ours. Even if they did, we would know." He turned Merlin gently. "See, Lamorak is there," he turned Merlin in the other direction, "and Owain is there. They are keeping watch. There is always someone keeping watch." Then he turned Merlin towards the horses where they slept peacefully in a huddle. "And see the horses? They are calm. They can sense when there are other animals, or people, nearby. I bet Tidbit sensed the wolves before you did. Was he nervous?"
Merlin had begun to lose some of his tension as he listened to Arthur. He nodded in response and brought his hands up to his ears, moving them around and around as he stamped his feet. Arthur smiled. "Yes, that's right. And I bet his nose was moving like this," he wrinkled his nose and Merlin gave a nervous giggle. "Look at him now. He's calmly sleeping. That's one of the ways we know that nothing is around us, at least nothing dangerous. Dogs, especially hunting hounds like Droopy, will warn you too."
Merlin ruminated for a moment and nodded his understanding, curling up in Arthur's lap, facing the banked fire. He was no longer as stiff, but neither was he relaxing into sleep. "Is that the only thing that has you scared?"
Merlin didn't answer right away but Arthur waited patiently. After a moment, Merlin shook his head. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Merlin shook his head desperately. Arthur sighed and lay down, pulling Merlin in close to himself. "I won't make you tell me, Merlin, but it may help. When you feel ready to talk about it, I will listen." Arthur shifted them closer to Leon, to better fit under the blankets and keep Merlin warm. "Do you think you can go back to sleep now?" Merlin answered with a shrug and Arthur huffed a laugh. "Try, Merlin. I'll keep watch over you." He fell asleep not long after Merlin, his hand still patting Merlin's back.
In the morning, Merlin pulled Arthur aside before they mounted up. I'm ready to tell you. He fidgeted nervously, staring at his feet in a painful show of fear. Arthur kneeled down next to him. "What's wrong, Merlin?"
Merlin curled up, as if expecting a blow – an action that Arthur had not seen in many weeks. When he reached to grasp his shoulder for comfort, Merlin flinched away. I'm sorry!
Very concerned now, Arthur crouched until he met Merlin's teary eyes, carefully avoiding touching him until Merlin gave him some sign that it would be welcome. "For what, Merlin?"
I'm going to be in trouble! For running away. For tricking Gaius. For taking the food from the kitchen. I'm sorry! I won't do it again. I promise! Please don't be mad! Please don't leave me! Don't let them take me away! His little hands clenched and unclenched at his sides with the desire to cling to Arthur.
Arthur pulled Merlin tightly against him. He was so relieved he could have laughed. Merlin's fear had worried him so – but these were simple problems. These were things he could explain and fix.
Please, may I have the coins Katrina gave me? Merlin wiped his face and braced himself, pulling away from Arthur to look at him with desperately blue eyes. To pay people back. For the bread and food I took. I stole it. I'm sorry! If I pay them back, will they be mad?
Arthur knew that underlying Merlin's fear of others' anger was the fear of punishment. He let his hands run in soothing circles over Merlin's shoulders and back. "I am not angry, Merlin, and I don't think anyone else will be angry. They will have been worried about you, of that I am sure. No one is going to hurt you, or punish you, or abandon you, least of all me. I'm afraid you're stuck with me forever!"
Arthur pulled back to hold Merlin's little hands between his own. ""You also don't have to worry about paying anyone back, Merlin. The cost of those things, of your provisions, all of that is taken care of, as part of our household. You're a part of our family now, Merlin, and anyways, I'm sure the cook could never be mad at you. What was her name? Big Mary? Big Mary loves you! I'm sure she would have given you all of it, and more, just to fatten you up!" He tickled Merlin's belly. "Fatten you here," he moved to tickle Merlin's underarms, "and here!"
Merlin smiled through his tears. Arthur picked him up and stood. "Don't you worry about Gaius, either. He's probably been sick with worry and will be happy to know you are safe and sound. If anyone should be scared it's me! What will he say when he sees that I let you get sick? That eyebrow of his scares me!"
Merlin laughed, his tension finally easing. Merlin giggled, wiping his eyes and wrapping his arms around Arthur's neck. I'll tell him it's not your fault. Don't worry!
Arthur tucked Merlin under his cloak and began walking back to the group. Once again, he prepared to let Merlin ride with him for a bit. Merlin protested but Arthur insisted on it until he was sure that Merlin had properly warmed up. Leon smirked as Tidbit nipped at Arthur is echo of Merlin's resistance and all of the knights chuckled when Arthur finally gave in only a short while later. Merlin ran to mount Tidbit and the duo rushed off as if to prove they could. Even Llamrei shook her head with a whinny in consternation and Arthur rubbed her neck companionably.
It was another long day, and by early afternoon, Arthur could see that Merlin was growing sore from the way he shifted on his saddle. They took fewer breaks to allow them longer periods of rest where Merlin could lie down for a bit. The weather was much nicer now, the clear day not warm but only mildly cold. Eventually though, they couldn't afford to stop any longer and though Merlin didn't complain, he stubbornly refused to let Arthur carry him, driving Leon to pad Merlin's little saddle with a blanket.
They pushed into the late evening and finally, Merlin succumbed to his fatigue. Tidbit had nickered, worried, when Merlin began to nod off and tip off the saddle. Ignoring Merlin's weak protest, Arthur took him into his arms. Merlin wiggled, indignant, until Arthur let him sit on the saddle in front of him. He kept an arm tight around his waist, holding him upright even as his head hung down when he finally slept.
The sight of Camelot's high walls glowing in the moonlight were a welcome sight. With only a whistle, the gates were opened for them and word sent up to the castle. They found servants scrambling to meet them and his father standing, looking ever unruffled, in the courtyard, despite the late hour. Leon dismounted in a hurry, taking Merlin while Arthur dismounted and passing him back gently afterward. Arthur patted Merlin's back through another round of coughs as he walked up to his father.
Standing proudly, he bowed his head respectfully. "Our mission was successful, Sire. The griffin is defeated."
Uther walked down the steps and laid a warm hand on Arthur's shoulder. Then, in an uncharacteristic display of affection, he wrapped Arthur in a hug, Merlin included. "I am glad you are safe." Pulling away, he added somewhat sheepishly, "Gaius was worried when Merlin identified the creature." Arthur was tempted to smirk – Uther never admitted to being worried and it was typical of him to blame Gaius for worrying. "How did you manage to defeat it?"
As Merlin began coughing again, Arthur hitched him higher. "If I could ask your indulgence, father, I can give you my report in my chambers. It's been a long journey and I would like to get Merlin to bed."
Uther was already waving his hand in acquiescence, waving over a servant. "Meet us in Prince Arthur's chambers. His room needs to be readied for him, as well as all of these men, and bring hot meals to them."
As the servant bowed, Arthur interrupted, catching Leon's eye as well. "Bring Leon's meal to my room as well." Leon nodded and gave his packs to the servant with a word of thanks.
They strolled leisurely to Arthur's chambers as Uther talked, "I'm glad you found Merlin. We followed his trail as far as the point where he left the road but Ulrich assured me he was on a path to intercept you. How did he know where to find you?"
Arthur stroked Merlin's hair fondly. "I showed him my route on the map and he must have remembered. He's gotten quite good at reading maps. When did he get away?"
Uther huffed disbelievingly. "Sometime the very next morning. Gaius said Merlin was feeling unwell and I thought he might have been missing you. Katrina suggested that I bring him for a visit, but when we came by he was sound asleep. Gaius said he was gone by morning. His pony was reported missing not long after but not even Ulrich managed to catch up to him."
Leon chuckled and shook his head, saying "That poor pony! Merlin must have raced to get to us. I doubt he stopped to sleep." Leon glanced at Uther and added with some amusement, "He even managed to outrun wolves!" Uther laughed and Arthur idly recognized it as genuine laughter.
Their conversation stopped when they reached Arthur's chambers while he put Merlin to bed. To his surprise, Uther stepped in to help, pulling off Merlin's boots and using his own handkerchief to wipe Merlin's newly runny nose. He tucked Merlin in gently, while Arthur watched with curious consideration.
It wasn't often that Arthur got to see his father without his regal façade. A small, jealous part of him wondered if it was only because of Merlin that his father was suddenly so… so… fatherly. He ignored that thought, remembering the way his father had hugged him on the steps. Still, he wasn't sure how to deal with his father so informally – even family meals were handled detachedly – and so he recited his report formally. The news of the dead village aroused Uther's suspicions, but aside from a decision to discuss it with the council, he did not linger on the report.
Uther further unsettled Arthur as he inquired more about Arthur's health, and Merlin's health, and the knights' health than ever before – that is to say, he had never before asked. He sat with them while they ate, filling them in on the happenings since they left. He even sounded genuinely concerned about the missed training sessions and how it might affect Arthur's performance in the upcoming tournament. Leon was quick to reassure him that he had thoroughly trained the men every chance he had. "We even had a chance to involve Merlin to push Arthur harder and even trained with him. How was it that you phrased it, Arthur? The attack and defense of temporary strongholds, was it?"
Uther chuckled good-naturedly and Arthur wondered if he remembered that time, once upon a time, long ago, when he'd used the same excuse to play with Arthur. "Was it a successful endeavor?"
Arthur nodded but it was Leon that answered. "Most successful. Arthur is quite the devious strategist and Merlin shows great initiative. I believe in the last match, Merlin was the last man standing. He ambushed Galahad from the roof of our shelter."
"Really?" Uther laughed freely and Arthur decided that even if it was only because of Merlin, he quite liked his father this way. When they finally parted for the night, Uther gave Arthur's shoulder a fond squeeze before giving him the day off tomorrow to spend with Merlin. Before pulling the door closed behind him, he quietly chuckled. "I didn't think you still remembered when we built snow forts."
He was gone before Arthur could respond, leaving him with a familiar yearning feeling as he retired to bed. He fell asleep still wondering what had brought about such a change in his father.
Giggles.
Something gently shook his shoulder and he let out a weak huff in response. He felt warm and weighted down, but pleasantly comfortable. He ignored the strange pressure on his face and any thoughts trying to figure out where he was in favor of drifting off.
His drifting was interrupted by more giggles and he woke in an instant with an annoying realization. Arthur had yet to learn how Morgana was able to sneak into rooms so quietly. Yawning, he scowled and squinted past the midmorning light at his sister and Gwen. "I really need to start locking my room."
Morgana waved a hand dismissively, smirking, and said, "That won't keep me out and you know it. Consider it revenge for all the times you snuck into my room at night to scare me."
Gwen's background giggles distracted Arthur and he took stock of himself. Once again, he was spread out across the bed and Merlin was sprawled all over him leaving Arthur to wonder how he hadn't felt Merlin moving so much during the night. He suddenly became aware of the dead feeling in his left arm and winced in anticipation of the pins and needles… but his arm wouldn't move. He gently removed Merlin's foot from where it was pressed against his cheek and turned to look. Merlin was half on top of his arm, hugging it tightly even as he slept soundly. He sighed in resignation; he didn't have the heart to wake Merlin to move.
He turned back to Gwen and Morgana. Morgana's smirk had softened to a kind smile. "Looks like you are stuck for the time being." Her look became predatory almost instantly. "Good! Now you can tell me all about what happened."
Arthur groaned and cast about for an excuse. "If we talk now, we'll wake Merlin. He deserves a lie in."
Morgana hesitated for only a moment before leaning close to whisper, "Then speak quietly."
"Can't we talk later? With Gaius around?"
"Why won't you ever just tell me? No one ever tells me anything," Morgana's voice wavered slightly at the end and Arthur looked at her properly. There were tell-tale signs that her nights had been disturbed recently. It was true that Morgana was often left out when it came to important news, especially regarding anything violent. His father said it was improper for Morgana to be interested but Arthur knew that besides propriety, Uther was genuinely concerned about scaring her. Ironically, by keeping Morgana in the dark, Uther gave her cause to worry – and that worry was probably compounded by her visions.
He relented, saying, "I promise to tell you everything, Morgana. There were some interesting develop-"
Merlin stirred, kicking out as he stretched and nearly catching Arthur in the face. Everyone held still while he rubbed his eyes and yawned awake. "Good morning, Merlin."
Merlin smiled at Arthur, startled, and sat up, finally releasing his hold on Arthur's arm. "Home!" He coughed, clearing his throat, and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
Arthur laughed and used a corner of the blanket to do a better job. He grimaced as he moved his arm through the dreaded prickling. "Yes, we arrived late last night."
Merlin flopped back down, stretched, and rolled happily around the bed until he bumped into Arthur. "Did you miss the bed, Merlin?" Merlin giggled and nodded emphatically. "You only love me for my bed, don't you?"
Merlin stopped mid-denial and, with his tongue poking between his teeth in a cheeky smile, began nodding and snickering. Arthur clutched his chest in feigned distress and Merlin's attention was finally drawn to the girls as they laughed. Merlin colored and pulled the covers up to his chin.
Morgana greeted him happily, and her smile was genuine, but Arthur could see she was disappointed that she was once again going to have to wait. "Merlin, Morgana wants to hear about our adventure, and I'm sure Gaius will want to hear about it as well. Do you feel up to telling the story? We can eat with them after we clean up."
Merlin nodded eagerly and crawled out of bed to hug her. Up close to her, Merlin looked even more grubby, his clothes wrinkled from their travel and last night's active sleep.
"Yes, Arthur definitely needs a bath. Really, Arthur, did you roll around in the dirt every day? Would it kill you to find a river?" Morgana raised a teasing brow at him as Merlin snickered.
Arthur rolled his eyes, standing and stretching. He hadn't bothered to change out of his travel clothes and he could feel where they had left imprints on his skin. "Yes, it would, actually. Do you know how cold it is out there? Besides, traveling has the tendency to raise dust and make everyone filthy."
"Well, Merlin seems to have made it back looking somewhat like himself." She relinquished her hold on Merlin so he could hug Gwen behind her. Arthur watched as Gwen pulled out her handkerchief to properly wipe Merlin's nose.
"Yes, but Merlin is little. It takes, what, a drop of water to clean him? Water that I heated, thank you very much."
Unexpectedly, he found himself in Morgana's embrace. He awkwardly hugged her in return, trying to keep his arms down in case he really smelled as bad as she said. "I am happy you returned safely, all of you."
Arthur held onto her as she pulled away, unused to displays of affection from her and wondering what triggered it. First, his father, and now Morgana. He rubbed her arms. "I promise to tell you everything, Morgana. I always do."
Merlin leaned against him with a concerned look and Arthur let go of Morgana to pick him up. Morgana gave them a small smile. "Fine. We'll let you get ready for the day and meet you at noon in Gaius' chambers."
Arthur bathed Merlin first and left him to play in front of the fire while he bathed. Rubbing his chin, Arthur gathered his shaving kit and wished his beard would grow in properly. It took ages for him to grow scruff and it wasn't even enough for him to look stylishly rugged. As he shaved, Merlin watched, wide-eyed, from the seat beside him but he didn't disturb Arthur's concentration and Arthur soon forgot he was there. When he finished, wiping his face clean, he was startled to look over and see that Merlin had lathered his own face up and appeared to be waiting patiently for Arthur to finish.
He burst into laughter helplessly. Merlin frowned at him but it only made Arthur roar harder. When he finally got his breath back, Merlin was glaring at him in consternation and it was nearly enough to make him lose control again. "Merlin, shaving is… well… you're a little young…" He didn't really know how to explain it and he didn't like how Merlin's face fell. "Give me a moment."
He retrieved an old dull blade from the cabinet and checked it against his hand to make sure it was safe. Returning to Merlin, he explained, "You're too young to do this for yourself so I'll do it for you. Promise me you won't try to shave yourself."
Merlin placed his fist over his heart, mimicking the knights' gesture, and solemnly whispered, "Promise."
"Good." Arthur lathered Merlin's face a little more and tilted it carefully. He ran the dull blade lightly over Merlin's cheeks, explaining, "This is called shaving, Merlin. It's meant to remove your facial hair but not everyone does it and everyone has their own way of doing it." He gave examples from the knights as he worked, flushing as he remembered Leon teaching him to shave not so long ago. Honestly, his father had probably begun shaving as a toddler – shouldn't Arthur be capable of a proper beard by now?
He cleaned up the last bit of lather. "There! Now you look almost as devastatingly handsome as I!" He washed Merlin's face clean and let him look in the mirror.
There was absolutely no difference, after all, Arthur hadn't really shaved Merlin, but Merlin still studied himself carefully before giving an approving nod. Grinning, Arthur couldn't wait to tell someone, anyone – and possibly several people – about this.
He readied them to visit Gaius, taking care to bundle Merlin against the cold weather. Merlin went willingly enough but he was subdued and anxious. Arthur considered saying something to reassure him but decided that perhaps the best reassurance would be to see for himself that no punishment awaited him.
Gaius' chambers were no longer as crowded as they had been before setting out to find the griffin. The lack of cots told Arthur that the patients had recovered enough to be rehoused in the lower town until they were able to return. Now, there were only two people waiting as Gaius treated a third. Arthur acknowledged their greetings and followed Gaius' instructions to wait a moment. Skirting around the group, he retrieved a vial of cough medicine and fed it to Merlin along with a ginger candy before letting him explore the bookshelf.
As they waited, Morgana and Gwen arrived. They set the table and tried to coax Merlin into eating but Merlin seemed too anxious to eat. Arthur kept up a quiet conversation with the girls while Merlin lingered close to Gaius, almost as if waiting in line to see him. When the patients left, Gaius gave a very long sigh and crossed his arms as he watched Merlin. Merlin dropped his gaze to the ground, sniffling pitifully, and shoulders hunching up. Finally, Gaius said, "Oh, Merlin. You scared the living daylights out of me disappearing like that. Especially once I found the traces of magic in your room."
Merlin risked a quick glance up at Gaius and a guilty look at Arthur. Arthur raised a brow in silent question but Gaius caught Merlin's attention with another long sigh.
He gestured for Merlin to stand in front of him and Merlin obediently did, never bringing his gaze up higher than Gaius' hands. Gaius crouched with a groan and wrapped him in a tight hug. "I'm not angry, Merlin, don't look so scared of me! I am merely glad that you are safe and that you managed to find and help Arthur." He tapped a gnarly finger over Merlin's heart. "My heart is too old for so much worry, Merlin. At least leave a note next time!"
Merlin gave a nervous giggle as he wiped his nose yet again. "N-next time?"
"The next time you run off after Arthur!"
There was a polite knock on the door that Arthur immediately recognized. He waved gratefully for Leon to join them, ignoring Morgana's flustered look. Leon seemed equally flustered as he pulled a stool to sit on the end of the table. There was a moment of confusion where Gwen tried to offer her seat instead and Gaius suggested they clear the larger table. Plates were being shuffled and Leon looked ready to bolt out the door. Merlin clung to Arthur and he finally stood to gain everyone's attention. "Everyone calm down. This table will work fine. Leon, make yourself useful and bring Gaius' chair over to sit there and you sit next to me. Guinevere, you are not here to serve, please, take your seat. Morgana, stop looking so dismayed, Leon knows about Merlin and before you ask how, we will tell you all the whole story." With that, Arthur went to check the outer door that led to Gaius' chambers to ensure it was locked and the AWAY sign was visible. When he returned and resumed his seat, Merlin pouted until Arthur and Leon made space for him between them.
Arthur got as far as a single bite of his (delicious) meat pie before Morgana impatiently cleared her throat, her expression softening with a glance at Leon. Mouth still watering, Arthur looked at Gaius. "Perhaps we should do this in chronological order. Gaius, what happened after I left?"
Gaius frowned as he put down his own half-finished meat pie to tell them what he knew as concisely as possible. He quickly got to the matter of the magical traces he'd discovered in Merlin's room and everyone's eyes moved to Merlin.
Merlin took a deep breath. "Um, I d-didn't want you t-to know I was g-g-gone." Arthur noted the return of Merlin's nervous stutter. Gaius asked him what exactly he'd done and Merlin added, "I left a sh-shadow."
Gaius' eyebrows rose in shock. "That's very advanced magic, Merlin. When did you leave?"
"…when you left," he reluctantly answered. When Gaius still looked unsure, Merlin added, "T-to go to, um… um… Uther." Arthur nodded when Merlin looked to him, unsure if he could call Uther by name.
"But that was in the early afternoon!" Gaius paused as if to choose his words carefully. "You must have had a lot of practice with that spell to be so skilled with it as to make it realistic and so long-lasting."
"Um." Merlin looked at Arthur pleadingly but this time Arthur shook his head.
"Use your voice, Merlin. You're doing just fine." Merlin's shoulders drooped.
"Um, not that g-good." A shadow of pain passed over his small face as he mumbled, "Mordred's better."
Arthur didn't know whether to comfort Merlin or worry about Cenred having control over another skilled sorcerer that could make 'shadows' of people. Gaius gave Merlin a fond sympathetic look. "Still, Merlin. You fooled both Uther and I. He came to check on you, worried that you might be missing Arthur too much. And you managed to anchor it very well. It didn't fade until midmorning." He chuckled. "Now we know why Ulrich didn't manage to catch up to you!"
Merlin tilted his head in question. "Ulrich?"
"Yes, Uther sent him out to track you down and bring you back. We were worried that you wouldn't know how to find Arthur or that the griffin would find you first. Now, how did you manage to defeat the griffin?"
Arthur managed to prompt Leon into telling most of the story, using the opportunity to scoff another three meat pies and coax a second one into Merlin. Listening to Leon, Arthur decided that it all sounded much more exciting than it had felt in the moment. Truthfully, he had been far more concerned about protecting Merlin than killing the griffin, but Leon either hadn't noticed or he was downplaying it for their audience.
When it became clear that all of the knights knew about Merlin's magic, Gaius paled and Morgana was glaring daggers at Arthur. "You're supposed to protect him, Arthur!" Both he and Leon were quick to reassure them that all of the men intended to keep Merlin's magic a secret.
Before letting them continue into the details of the storm, Gaius gave Merlin a proud smile and Arthur could almost see Merlin glowing with happiness at the silent praise. "There are a couple of spells that could be used for griffins but I don't know them. Did you find them in the book, Merlin?"
Merlin shook his head and a cloud settled over him once again. Before he could build up the breath to answer, Arthur spoke, remembering a question he'd forgotten to ask before. "Did you practice on a griffin before, Merlin?"
Merlin nodded. "M-ma-ma…" He took another deep breath. "It was Master's. "
"Merlin, you don't have to call him master anymore." Arthur didn't realize how exasperated he felt until he heard his own tone. Gently, he added, "Say his name."
Merlin paled and shook his head frantically, his shoulders curling up protectively. Gaius sighed and intervened, putting a heavy hand on Arthur's shoulder. "Arthur is right, Merlin. Cenred is no longer your master, but if it's too frightening to say his name, you don't have to do it yet." He turned a disapproving glare on Arthur.
Merlin nodded with his head bowed. After a moment, he peered up at Arthur.
Feeling a little guilty, Arthur tried to restart the conversation. "So Cenred had you practice on real griffins?"
"Uh-huh b-but. But. Only one." His lips trembled as he took a breath. "That one."
Arthur suddenly, finally, understood. "The griffin we faced, it belonged to Cenred? That's the one you practiced against?"
Merlin nodded and met Arthur's gaze with frightened eyes. Images flashed behind his eyes and Arthur recognized the communication from Merlin. It looked like the same griffin, but it was captured, being trained, attacking squads of men. There were men being flung around, being torn open, lying wounded and dying. They called for help and Arthur realized that Merlin was hurt in some of those instances too, seeing his small bloodied hands in the frame of the memories. He felt Merlin desperately trying to cast, trying to help… and failing. Failing because he was hurt too badly.
He trained it to fight soldiers. I was supposed to stop it but it never worked before. I didn't want to kill it. Merlin's voice was dripping with regret. I didn't want to kill it but because of that… I killed them.
And if those last three words didn't enrage Arthur, he didn't know what would. Merlin hadn't said, 'I couldn't save them,' or 'They died because of me.' He honestly believed that he was completely responsible for their deaths in the most direct way and that thought had Arthur's jaw clenching in fury. Gaius and Gwen were waiting patiently for an explanation, Morgana less so, but it took Arthur a few precious breaths to reign in his anger. He met Leon's eyes, knowing he would understand.
"It looks like Cenred trained that griffin to fight against armed men, soldiers even. Merlin was meant to practice holding it off, maybe even kill it, but he couldn't bring himself to do it."
He pulled Merlin upright and hugged him tightly, not knowing any other way to comfort him, as the little boy curled up in shame. Cenred had put the burden of countless men's lives on Merlin, men he hadn't been able to protect from the griffin, and Arthur didn't know how to relieve Merlin of that burden when it wasn't even rightfully his. On top of that, he was sure that Cenred had let the griffin nearly kill Merlin before intervening. More than once. The only person to blame is Cenred.
Leon took Merlin from him and forced Merlin to look him in the eyes. Arthur wondered if Lancelot had told Leon some of what Merlin had shown Arthur. "I am sorry you had to face such cruel training but there is one good thing that came from it." Merlin was hanging of Leon's every word. "Merlin, you saved us! You pulled Owain and Lamorak out of the lake. You caught Geraint and Galahad out of midair! You made the spell work and destroyed the anchor. You stopped a tree from falling on Bohrs!" Merlin's watery eyes met Leon's steady gaze. "And you kept us safe and hidden in that storm. When it came down to it, you saved us, and that was all in a real situation. Not a staged massacre for someone's entertainment. Any deaths before that, those are because of Cenred, not because of you."
Merlin turned to Arthur, his small face looking cautiously hopeful. Leon handed him back to Arthur and Arthur, learning from Leon, looked into Merlin's eyes as he echoed the reasoning.
Merlin hid himself in Arthur's shirt so he pulled him into his lap properly. Morgana was watching Arthur carefully and Arthur found himself grateful for her tact. As much as he complained about her relentless inquisitiveness, she always seemed to recognize when to wait. He shook his head, not wanting to discuss what Merlin had shown him, but instead he described the trap that had been set for them. Leon added details here and there, especially when describing the searching lights in the night. When Leon explained about the close call in the village, Gwen clutched Morgana's hand until Leon reassured them that their tracks had not been followed.
There was a moment of silence following the story. Gaius was frowning in thought.
"A trap like that seems excessive, but effective. The boundary spell is complex but triggering a storm with it and over so large an area… there are few people with the power and skill for that, even if it wasn't intentional."
"What is so hard about it? Merlin's made a storm before," when Merlin shot him a betrayed look, Arthur hastily added, "not intentionally, of course. And what do you mean it wasn't intentional?"
Gaius' eyebrows shot up in surprise. "When was that?"
Arthur backtracked on his words and looked at Merlin apologetically. "Weeks ago, right before I left to join you over the Edwin affair. I frightened him. He didn't do it on purpose."
"We already know that Merlin is powerful, and making a storm would be easy for him. Though you must be careful Merlin, even though your magic is the magic of the earth, controlling the weather can have dangerous backlashes."
Merlin offered a weak, I didn't mean to, but Gaius had already turned his attention to the young adults, and continued. "For any other sorcerer, casting involves using carefully worded spells to control the magic in predictable ways. It's all too easy to get a word wrong and the drastically alter the end result. Now, think closely about the trap set for you. The death of the griffin triggered an explosion – not even magical animals explode when killed – but this explosion only affected the people in the immediate vicinity. You said the trees and earth were unharmed, as well as the anchor object, the ring. That means it was targeted to incapacitate you. On the griffin's explosion, the boundary spell was triggered. The boundary let the horses pass, but not people, and steadily shrank to contain you. This means the boundary was targeted to people, perhaps even to participants in the fight. I'm not sure the storm was intended, at least not to the magnitude it grew. It could be that by using lightning to disable would-be escapees, the sorcerer caused an imbalance in the weather. That would explain why the temperature dropped so dangerously. After all, if the sorcerer had wanted to kill you, they could have done it with just a simple change to the boundary spell or with the initial explosion."
Arthur swallowed nervously. He had never put much thought into sorcerer's spells before and he was surprised by the complexity involved, especially after seeing the ease with which Merlin wielded his magic. "If it's that complex, then breaking that spell or doing anything to block it, must be just as difficult."
Gaius nodded. "Yes, to some extent. Some things, like shields, are easily made and easily tweaked, but to directly counter another spell, a magic user needs to be able to understand the nature of the spell and have the knowledge to undo it."
Arthur was impressed that Merlin had been able to protect them so effectively. They really did owe him their lives. "Merlin, did you practice all of this before?"
Merlin shook his head and then nodded, looking confused. Gaius answered for him. "Merlin, again, is different. He can use magic without incanting spells because magic is not foreign to him; he does not need the language to understand it though it can help him achieve fine control." He looked at Merlin directly. "No doubt, you can feel out the other spell and instinctively understand it. Maybe you throw in a word here and there, but for the most part, you let your magic do what it needs to do unhindered."
Merlin nodded. "Um… but sometimes… I have to force it. Like the ring,"
"What do you mean, Merlin?"
Merlin's mouth opened and closed a few times before he slumped. He pressed his little fist into his own thigh, grinding it. Arthur almost objected but a moment later he understood. "You mean, you had to use brute force?" Merlin nodded, relieved to be understood.
Gaius reached over and patted Merlin comfortingly. "As you learn more, Merlin, you won't have to rely on sheer power to overcome spells. Though it is good to know that you have the strength to do that."
"It just about wiped him out," Leon added in a serious tone. "I mean, he cast that spell, stopped a tree falling on Bohrs, broke the anchor, enhanced our weapons, and warded the cabin through the night. It's good that he has that power, but it really takes a toll on him too. By the end of it, I wasn't sure he was even breathing on his own."
Merlin shrugged. "I had help," he whispered.
Both Gaius and Arthur turned to Merlin in surprise. Merlin shrank from their gazes but didn't hide away. "From who?"
"Um…" Merlin looked around. He spread his arms to wave at the air around them. "Everywhere?"
"Do you mean the earth, Merlin?"
"Uh-huh." He took a breath, "I was too weak by myself. It helped with power."
Gaius seemed amused at the quiet confession. "I hope you said thank you."
Merlin's eyes widened with worry as he gasped. "Thank you!" He whispered to the air around them. Gaius chuckled and Arthur pulled Merlin into another hug. He held it for a moment before bringing Merlin down to sit properly on his lap. Gwen kindly pushed the plate of sweet pastries within Merlin's reach.
There was a moment of quiet and Arthur had almost picked up one of the pastries when Morgana thwarted him yet again. "Alright, so now we know how Merlin saved your armor-clad hides. Now, who in the hell is Lancelot?"
Leon choked in surprise at Morgana's outburst causing her to color slightly and resume an innocent expression.
Arthur contained his growl as Merlin offered him a bite of pastry. "To answer your burning question, Morgana, Lancelot was one of Merlin's guards. One of the two that helped him escape!" He added hurriedly when he saw their expressions become worried. He patted Merlin fondly but shook his head and reached for a whole pastry. He deserved a whole pastry just for dealing with Morgana!
Gaius regarded Merlin with concern. "How can you be sure he is who he says he is? Did you bring him back to Camelot?"
Arthur answered quickly upon hearing the anxiety in Gaius' tone. "Merlin knew him, and trusts him. He was very forthcoming with information when we questioned him."
Leon tactfully added, "He provided more detailed explanations when we rode to the village. He was reluctant on some topics, but he didn't hold back."
At this last, Merlin tensed in his arms and looked up at Arthur with concern. "Don't look at me like that, Merlin. It's helpful to know certain things in order to help you."
But you already helped me. What did he tell you?
"We helped you some, and you have come a long way. Even Lancelot was pleasantly surprised as how well you've adjusted. But…" Arthur paused, unsure of how to phrase his intentions without making Merlin feel ashamed. He whispered into Merlin's ear, "Wouldn't you like to not be afraid of the dark? Or not get nightmares anymore?" Merlin frowned but grudgingly nodded. "Knowing more about you, that just helps us to help you."
Gwen coughed lightly, speaking for the first time. "This… Lancelot, he helped you escape, Merlin?"
Merlin nodded, noticing the disbelief in Gaius, Gwen, and Morgana's faces. "AND," he cut himself off as he realized how loudly he had spoken, took a deep breath, and continued. "And he helped me and Mum. Him and Gwaine." Even more quietly he added, "And Peter and Dieter." Arthur remembered the last two names as those of the guards that had been killed for hiding Merlin's magic.
"How did they help you?"
"Um… food. One time, Gwaine gave Mum a whole loaf of bread!" Arthur's heart shattered at the sheer excitement in Merlin's tone at such a simple gift. "Sometimes… sometimes, they brought me presents from outside. Leaves and bugs. A snowball." Merlin's finger traced over Arthur's knuckles down to fiddle with his shirt cuff. "They used to hold my hand and carry me, before…. when…" he gasped, giving up on articulating what he wanted to say. It didn't matter, he had said enough for Arthur to guess what he meant.
Leon took hold of Merlin's little hand, also understanding the events Merlin referenced. "Yes, Lancelot was very happy when you sat with him." When Merlin looked up at him, surprised, Leon smiled. "But I think he was happiest when you spoke to him," he confided.
Merlin blushed and hid his face again while Arthur laughed.
Morgana was watching them carefully, aware that they were holding back but afraid to ask given Merlin's reactions. She smiled indulgently but persevered in her line of questioning. "Where is Lancelot now?"
Arthur sighed and made note to send out his messenger tonight. "He has gone to look for Merlin's mother and Gwaine, the other guard. They were supposed to rendezvous but Gwaine never made it."
Gaius nodded but continued to look concerned. "How did he find you? It seems like extraordinary coincidence that he stumbled on Merlin just in time to assist with the griffin."
Merlin gave a little pout at the suspicion in Gaius' voice. "I agree. He says he was looking for Morgause's fortress or some such. Someplace called the blessed island. He planned to stake it out in case they found Merlin first. He was staying in the area, in the same cabin, and Merlin happened to stop there when looking for us."
Gaius had gone very pale while Arthur spoke. "Morgause? Are you sure he said Morgause?" Arthur realized that until that point, they had not named the sorceress.
Merlin whimpered and hid again, prompting Arthur to hold him tightly. "Yes, apparently she works with Cenred. She seems to be a willing participant, even a partner."
Suddenly, Gaius gently but firmly pulled Merlin out of Arthur's chest, asking, "Merlin, did you leave any traces of your magic? Could she have identified you from your ward?"
Merlin, now also pale, shook his head and glanced at Arthur, who was only now grasping that the searching lights might have been illuminating Morgause herself as she searched for them. Suddenly, Arthur was worried too. "Are you sure, Merlin?"
Merlin's eyes began to water but he held Arthur's stare. Um…I didn't have enough power, remember? The earth did that. That's why she didn't find us. We blended in.
Arthur repeated it to Gaius who seemed to relax minutely. "Gaius, do you know her?"
Gaius sighed, running his hand through his hair. "This is very serious."
Morgana scoffed, "I think we knew it was serious when we learned Cenred is trying to build a magical army. Why does having one more sorcerer make any difference?"
Leon leaned in. Gwen seemed unaware that she was biting her nail to the wick. "First and foremost, the Isle of the Blessed is within Camelot's lands, not far from where you fought the griffin. It does not bode well that Morgause has a haven so close to the city." Gaius looked at all of them carefully, his gaze lingering on Merlin, who was watching him with clear fright.
Arthur tipped Merlin's chin up. "Merlin?"
Merlin's watery eyes met his, his small chest heaving. He averted his gaze but answered, I don't… I don't. Can I go away now, please?
Merlin's request startled Arthur. "Go away?"
Merlin's eyes skittered about the room, landing on the back room. There? Please?
Without waiting for an answer, Merlin crawled out of Arthur's lap and raced to the little room, shutting the door behind him.
Arthur turned back to find the others watching him with similar expressions of confusion and concern. He started to get up to follow Merlin but Leon pushed him down with a hand on his shoulder. "It's clear he doesn't want to talk about this but he's giving us space to discuss it anyway. It must be important."
Arthur swallowed his unease and turned his attention to Gaius. "Lancelot was also afraid of her, and of the other one, why is that Gaius?"
Gaius gave the back room one more sad look before turning to them. "Morgause is a dangerous sorceress in her own right, but if what Lancelot said is true, then Camelot is in great danger. Morgause was a High Priestess of the Old Religion, and though she was expelled from the order, she still carries that hefty knowledge and power with her."
Morgana interrupted him, asking "Why was she expelled?"
"Only those in the order would know, and most of them are dead. All I can tell you is that I suspect she failed a test of worthiness of character. The only one that could tell us for sure, appears to be on her side. Nimueh, too, was a High Priestess." Gaius was very deliberately avoiding looking at Arthur.
Arthur recognized the name. "Was?"
"She was also expelled, although as the last of the order, there was no one to enforce it. There is another story here, but it is not mine to tell. Suffice it to say that she and Uther feuded, and though Uther hunted her throughout the Great Purge, she always managed to evade him. She bears a great hatred for Camelot and I believe many of the catastrophes that have befallen Camelot in recent years are her doing. If she is helping Cenred, then we can be sure that he intends to wage war with Camelot."
Morgana snorted angrily. "Great, Uther pisses off all these people and years later they band together against Camelot. Just how many enemies does he have?"
Gaius frowned at her until she wilted. "Though I may not agree with all that Uther has done, he always does what he thinks is best for the kingdom." He raised a hand to forestall Morgana's remarks, having had this debate with her before. "What matters now is that if these people are all working together, there is much more than just this kingdom at stake. Cenred may think to conquer the lands for himself, but Morgause and Nimueh would destroy it. We can all look forward to a reverse purge if they come to power."
Arthur felt the weight of the prophecy suddenly, like a mountain falling around him. This was why Cenred and Morgause wanted Merlin back so desperately – he must be the key to conquering all of Albion. Which meant… that would mean Arthur was somehow meant to bring balance between magical and non-magical people.
Weakly, he said, "Well, Lancelot mentioned that Morgause would have gone to her for help in finding Merlin, not necessarily that Nimueh was in league with them."
"True, but if Morgause once again calls the Isle of the Blessed home, then it is very likely that Nimueh is working with her. Two high priestesses working together for Cenred foretells very dangerous times ahead. It explains how he's managed to enlist sorcerers to his army and keep them under his control."
Arthur absorbed the knowledge guiltily. Perhaps it was time to tell his father about Cenred's plans, or at least send recon missions to justify his knowledge. Looking over his shoulder at the still closed door, he asked, "Why do you think Merlin didn't want to be here with us?"
"Lancelot told me that Morgause was one of Merlin's teachers, though not often. She was impatient with him for being so young. She expected Emrys to be a teenager, or a young man, not a toddler." Leon worked his jaw tensely and Arthur recognized it as a sign that Leon was holding back something unpleasant, probably about how she treated Merlin. "I think she was in charge of teaching him the more refined magic, and though she wasn't kind, she intervened whenever Cenred or one of the others took it too far." He gave Arthur a meaningful look and Arthur nodded his understanding.
Gwen patiently pointed out, "That still doesn't explain why he wanted to leave."
Arthur thought for a moment. "I think he was afraid. It was the way he asked to leave. He didn't ask to leave. He asked to 'go away.' That's what he used to do whenever he was afraid, in the beginning."
Leon clarified for him, "He detached."
"Yes, that's it. But he hasn't done that recently. There's really only one thing that makes him retreat, but I don't think that's what happened now." Arthur stood up, deciding he'd left Merlin alone long enough. He hesitated, one final question popping into his head. "Gaius, would either of those sorceresses come to Camelot?"
Gaius carefully considered before answering. "It's not impossible for them to come here but something stood out in your story. You said that as soon as Merlin appeared, the griffin appeared to focus on him, even using the knights to lure him out of cover. As well, it was equipped with a ring that broke Merlin's shields."
"Yes, Merlin seemed honestly shocked by that. Up until that point, Merlin seemed confident that his shield could hold off the griffin." Leon's tone betrayed the depth of his concern for Merlin.
Arthur nodded, "It makes sense given that he was trained to do that."
Gaius pointed sharply. "That. That is the key. Merlin was trained to raise shields in defense against the griffin, and the griffin is then prepared to neutralize Merlin's shields. The griffin very clearly recognized him. On top of that, Merlin was expected to know the killing spell, and when he succeeded, the trap was triggered and someone came looking. All of this suggests that the griffin was sent to find Merlin, and that they suspect Merlin is in this kingdom. But both Morgause and Nimueh are capable of scrying into Camelot, and if they had, they wouldn't suspect – they would know that Merlin is here. It implies that they either haven't or couldn't scry into Camelot."
Morgana raised a brow, "I find it hard to believe two high priestesses would overlook what sounds like an easy option."
Arthur was suddenly worried. "Wait, are you sure they haven't scried him? Could they have Seen him?"
"Scrying is well within their abilities, but the point is, if they knew he was here, they would have sent a more direct means to retrieve Merlin."
Leon stroked his beard and met Arthur's eyes. They would have to discuss the possibility of someone coming to Camelot to capture Merlin. Soon. "Could it be Merlin? Keeping them blind?"
Gaius shook his head. "No, Merlin hasn't been in any shape to cast a spell so powerful, much less maintain it, until recently." His face cleared and he seemed relieved. "There's only one other being in Camelot with that kind of power: Kilgharrah. It's possible he's keeping them from using their magic within the city ever since he sensed Merlin arrive. You did say that he wanted to warn Merlin."
"But he never did, did he?" Morgana glared at Arthur.
Arthur raised his hands to calm her. "No. He hasn't spoken of it since that night, but I think that might be because he, too, was surprised at Merlin's age. Gaius, why is everyone surprised that he is just a child?"
"I don't know but I wouldn't have expected such a large age gap between you given the… well, you know. You should ask Kilgharrah."
Morgana looked outraged. "Given what?"
Arthur left Gaius to explain and walked away. He experienced a moment of panic when he found the back room empty. "Merlin?"
There was a small sound under the bed. Arthur crouched down and was relieved to find Merlin curled there. A few of his wooden figures were arrayed in front of him, headed by the familiar knight figurine. "Merlin, do you want to come out?"
Merlin shook his head. With a sigh, Arthur laid down and crawled as far under the bed as he could. Propping his chin on his forearm, Arthur studied Merlin intently, looking for an opening to get Merlin talking. He found it when Merlin reached out to reverently touch the knight figure.
"Is he doing his job?" Merlin looked at him questioningly, so Arthur smiled and added, "Does he make you feel better? Make you feel safe?"
Merlin cut his nod short and finally crawled closer to Arthur. Taking hold of Arthur's little finger, Merlin whispered, "You make me feel safe."
Arthur shifted his other arm around to wrap around Merlin. "Good, I was worried that I wasn't doing my job back there."
Merlin looked up, surprised. Chewing his lower lip, Merlin stared determinedly at Arthur's finger and several long minutes passed before he blurted, "I'm scared." His face crumpled and it was too painful for Arthur to bear. He pulled Merlin carefully out from under the bed until he could properly hug him, but Merlin struggled out of his hold to hide under the covers on the bed. Kicking off his boots, Arthur joined him, pulling Merlin close. "Tell me what you are afraid of, Merlin."
As he waited, he pulled the blankets over their heads. In the enclosed darkness, it was easy to see the frightened sparks in Merlin's eyes. What if she can see me? Does she know I'm here? I don't want her to take me back! She's so close! I didn't know she was so close.
Arthur wiped away Merlin's tears and pulled Merlin on top of him. Merlin settled his head over Arthur's heart, sucking his thumb. "We talked about it, Merlin. Gaius thinks Kilgharrah is keeping them out of the city, that they can't see in here."
Merlin propped himself up to look at Arthur, then his eyes glazed over. Arthur called his name, but Merlin didn't respond until his eyes refocused. He said yes. But they don't know it's him!
"There, you see. All of us are working to keep you safe here. As long as you're in Camelot, you're safe, Merlin." Merlin relaxed against him. "And all of us would fight for you, Merlin. If they tried to take you away, even if they managed it, I will always come for you. And not just me. Leon and the knights. Morgana and Gwen too." When Merlin looked at him in shock, he explained, "Morgana and Gwen are both very skilled with weapons, especially since Gwen's father was a blacksmith." Merlin offered a weak smile. "Let's see, father would probably send the army. Droopy and Tidbit would lead the way to you, Ulrich and Henry right beside them. Oh, and Big Mary! I can just imagine her walloping Cenred over the head with her rolling pin!" Arthur was ecstatic to get a watery giggle from Merlin.
"Don't forget, there's Kilgharrah too! Can you just imagine it? It wouldn't matter how far they took you or how they tried to hide you, it wouldn't be enough with an angry dragon chasing after them!"
"My point is, Merlin, there are a lot us looking out for you. You don't have to be afraid." Merlin uncurled and snuggled into Arthur's neck.
"And in case he didn't mention it, I have excellent aim with a bow and Gwen never misses with her throwing knives."
Arthur pulled the blanket off and sat up, holding Merlin tightly against him. He was slightly embarrassed to have been overheard, but glad for the reinforcement. "There you have it, Merlin. Shall we rejoin the group?"
"Actually, Leon's just left. He said he has to meet some of the other knights before tonight. Gaius is getting ready to go on his rounds."
"I see. So, do we get the pleasure of your company?"
Morgana waved him off airily. "Unfortunately, I have birdbrains to entertain. Since you were actually useful on your trip, I thought I would do my best to tire them out before tonight."
Merlin had his head tilted in confusion but Arthur only winked at him and answered in the same sarcastic tone. "Well, since you're doing me the favor of incapacitating those enemy, I suppose Merlin and I could bring you flowers."
With one last eye roll and a warning to be on time, Morgana swept out of the room, Gwen trailing behind her as she tried to hide her grin.
Looking out the window, Arthur decided they had a few hours left before the feast. "How are you feeling, Merlin? Are you ready for a nap," Merlin grizzled at the suggestion, "or do you want to go out adventuring with me?" Merlin nodded eagerly. "Adventuring it is, then. Shall we start with the stables?"
In the end, they visited all of Merlin's favorite spots and Arthur managed to get Merlin to nap while he prepared a parcel for Lancelot. By the time the missive was handed off and the messenger sent, it was time to get ready. He pulled out his finery and woke Merlin.
"Arthur, why do we need these clothes?" Merlin yawned as he looked apprehensively at the fine tunic. It was his favorite – the one Katrina modelled after Arthur's childhood tunic – but he still seemed uncomfortable with it.
Arthur kept his voice upbeat the way he'd heard Gwen talk to Merlin. "Well, we're going to a feast tonight, Merlin."
Merlin immediately stiffened. "A feast?"
"Yes, in our honor, because we protected Camelot from the griffin." Arthur swiftly changed Merlin into his finery as he explained. "Are you excited? It's your first feast in Camelot!"
Merlin shook his head. Do I have to go?
"It will be great fun, Merlin! I will be right by your side, and because we're honoring the knights, they will be sitting right with us, too. Morgana and Gwen will be there too." It seemed to appease Merlin, so Arthur took the leap. "Besides, it will be good practice for the upcoming tournament banquets and the Yule feast!"
Merlin whimpered. Ah, perhaps he shouldn't have mentioned those yet. "Don't worry, Merlin. We have time. You just focus on enjoying this one. We'll eat until we burst and then we'll retire early. I won't let you out of my sight for a second. Just think about all the iced buns you can eat!"
Arthur dressed in record speed, indulgently letting Merlin inspect him before gathering the dried flower bouquets and leaving the room. They met the knights in the entrance to the Great Hall, their cloaks filling the spacious hall. As per tradition, they would enter together when Uther called for them. With their cloaks sweeping behind them, it would make for a grand entrance.
Merlin seemed happier around the men, especially as they complimented his finely embroidered shirt. He was just telling them that Gwen made it, when Gwen herself appeared. She crouched in front of Merlin. "I thought our littlest hero should look like our other noble knights." She held out a bolt of cloth and unfurled it to show a Merlin-sized version of the knights' red cloaks. Merlin's jaw dropped and he looked around, to see if the men approved.
Lamorak nudged Arthur forward, "It's your duty to bestow a knight's cloak."
Smiling gratefully at Gwen, Arthur took the little cloak and crouched in front of Merlin. "Kneel, Lord Merlin." Merlin dropped to his knees without hesitation. "For undertaking a selfless quest, courageously facing a magical creature, and saving the lives of several of Camelot's fine knights, I award you this cloak that all who see you may recognize you as one of Camelot's noble protectors." With great flourish, he whipped the cloak around Merlin and fastened it, appreciating how Gwen had preserved every detail of the traditional cloaks. "Rise, Sir Merlin."
Merlin stood slowly, his small hands running over the Camelot crest on his cloak. He looked up at Arthur and the other men in bewilderment. Finally, he burst into a shining grin and rushed to hug Gwen tightly. "Thank you!"
Arthur nudged Merlin to give him one of the bouquets with a pointed glance at Gwen. Merlin all but whipped her with the flowers in his excitement to give them to her, fragile petals cascading between them. "You're welcome, Merlin. You deserve it. Thank you very much for the flowers! They're beautiful and I don't have to worry about putting them in water. Now, I better get back inside. It's almost time for you to go in!" She was gone in a heartbeat.
Merlin spent the next few minutes being passed from knight to knight, each of the men dutifully admiring his cloak. Geraint struck up a game to teach Merlin all sorts of exaggeratedly heroic poses in his new cloak despite the snickers from Bohrs. It kept Merlin thoroughly distracted until it was time for their entrance. Finally, Arthur knelt in front of Merlin and handed him Morgana's bouquet. "Do you want me to carry you in?"
Merlin's expression grew serious and he shook his head, instead offering his hand to Arthur. Smiling, Arthur took his hand and nodded to the men. They lined up in pairs behind him, Leon ruffling Merlin's hair fondly as he stood beside them.
The great doors groaned open and they stepped forward.
*hides in shame*
I am so, SO, sorry for the long break. jessprincess1993 - Yes, I am okay... now. Sorry for worrying you. I am alive.
So what happened? A lot of dental work featuring one awful infection. Summer internship. School starting. Hurricane Harvey. Actually, Saturday was my last internship day, school started Monday, and Harvey made landfall by Friday. We still had to go to class on Friday!-Crazy week
I wasn't flooded out but I threw myself into volunteering when I realized how bad it was. There was a huge need for interpreters, and, after meeting so many people in need that can't read or write, I have never in my life been so grateful for the simple fact that I can read. For several days, I lived off canned beans and vitamin C mixes while volunteering. It's been overwhelming, especially once school started up again. This semester is killing me but I'm almost done so I just have to keep going.
I just have to keep going.
*takes a deep breath*
I'm not going to promise regular updates yet, but I have NOT abandoned the story and will do my best to type a few words whenever I have a chance.
If there's anyone still reading, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this latest update! What was your favorite moment?