Book 9 - Seven Steps To Redemption

by GailDunn2

WARNING: ADULT CONTENT AND ADULT SITUATIONS. The quest for the cure begins. But how high is the price for the ingredients that are required to make Castiel well again? Can Gail, Sam and Dean help him? Can he help himself? And what is Crowley's agenda?

5. Defects of Character

Chapter 5 - Defects of Character

Cas had been feeling a little better about himself after he had been able to send Gail home without being aggressive with her, pushing the physical aspect of their relationship as he'd been doing for so long. He had mentioned to her that he was thinking of moving a little closer to home, and he thought that he might be psychologically ready to do it now. He had thought that he would like Europe, but Cas had felt out of sorts there. He couldn't explain it; it just felt wrong for him to be there, for some reason.

After he'd sent Gail home, he had gone back to the patio to sit and think. He wanted to relive the recent positive things that had happened: his encounter with Pope Francis, the successful acquisition of the Tablet fragments, and his alone time here with Gail. Cas had such a warm glow from all three of these events that he was able to subdue the Demon for the moment, and he was feeling the best he'd felt in a long, long time. More like himself.

He'd been wondering where to go from here, and he wanted to be closer geographically to Gail, yet not too close. He recalled the place where the two of them had been so happy before the tribunal had intervened, and he nodded to himself. Vancouver it would be, then.

Cas went back to the spot where he had kissed Gail moments earlier and winked himself away.

Oliver opened the door to admit Gail and the Winchesters. He avoided looking at Gail directly, merely saying, "Follow me." He led the way to the seance room and did the usual preparations as Gail sat down at the table with Sam and Dean. She'd contemplated switching places with one of the brothers to see whether Oliver would force himself to hold her hand, but she figured she'd better not push it, since Oliver was being compliant.

But she couldn't stop herself from smirking as Oliver sat down across from her, looking at her with distaste.

"What are you smiling about?" Oliver snapped at her.

"Nothing," Gail said innocently.

"Let's just get on with it," Oliver said impatiently. He glared at Sam. "Once this is over, you need to lose my number."

"Don't worry, after all this is over, we'll never darken your door again," Gail said tartly. She wasn't really sure why Oliver irritated her so much; he just did. Maybe it was because he claimed to be an atheist, yet he believed in Demons, and he contacted the spirit world. Or maybe it was because he'd taken one look at Cas and herself, and called them out for what they were. Even now, he was looking at her like he knew every bad thought that she had ever had, and every bad thing she had ever done. And how the hell could you like someone who could do that?

Oliver called forth Rowena, and she appeared instantly.

"You've brought my boys back," Rowena cooed. "Much better. The man you were here with last time wasn't nearly as good-looking, and his morals were questionable, to say the least."

As are yours, Gail thought. "We got the ingredients," she told Rowena, "and we're here to find out what else we need." Then she made herself add, "Please."

But Rowena didn't need any cajoling. She had every intention of giving Gail the information. The closer Gail got to the end, the sooner Rowena would have her life back. "So, you were able to get the sword of God?" Rowena asked. Truthfully, she was impressed. She'd told Gail it would be easy, but Rowena had honestly been surprised to see them again so soon. Seeing her son had thrown Rowena off her game a bit, and she had pretended to be casual about it. But Rowena had had no idea what the sword of God actually was, exactly, or where it might be. Apparently, Gail did, though, and she had already obtained it. The more Rowena saw Gail in action, the more impressed she was with her. She wondered if it would be possible somehow to pry Gail away from the men, so that they could talk alone. She would love to have Gail as a protege. There was so much that Rowena could teach her.

"Yeah, and it wasn't exactly the easiest thing in the world to get," Dean piped up. "And if that's what you call easy..."

Rowena smiled. She walked over to where he was sitting and ruffled his hair. "But you accomplished it, didn't you?" she said lightly into his ear.

Dean jerked his head to the other side. Of all the females he wouldn't mind blowing in his hear, this witch wasn't one of them.

"So, what's next?" Gail asked Rowena, taking her attention away from Dean. Rowena looked at her, smiling. "So eager for the cure?" she asked Gail. "I would have thought you would be enjoying the benefits. How is my dear Castiel doing?"

"How do you think he is?" Gail countered irritably.

"I wouldn't know," Rowena said slowly, studying Gail's face intently. "And something tells me you don't, either."

"No, I don't," Gail replied. She was starting to get mad now. Rowena was screwing with her, and she didn't have the patience. "Are you going to give us more ingredients, or not?"

"All right," Rowena snapped back. Where was Gail's sense of humour? Mind, Rowena knew that poor Gail had been doing without lately; maybe that was why she was so irritable. If Rowena had been spending so much time in the bunker with these two fine specimens, Rowena wouldn't be doing without, the witch thought with a smile. But apparently, Gail was determined to remain monogamous. Her loss.

"If it's ingredients you're wanting, I'll give you three," Rowena said. "I know you've got a lot of time on your hands now that you've finally climbed out of bed, dear." Rowena was hoping her bitchiness would cover the fact that she was giving them the ingredients at an accelerated rate now. Sam was looking at her with a strange expression on his face.

"Yes, yes. I used to have sex. It's all very amusing," Gail said, rolling her eyes. For an instant, she'd sounded so much like a female version of Crowley that Dean did a double-take.

Rowena had noticed that, too. That must be the blood bond, rearing its ugly head. But if Gail had been willing to accept advice from Rowena right now, she would tell Gail to be careful not to emulate her son. He was no role model; he simply wasn't evil enough, though he claimed to be.

But the witch smiled. Just as she had suspected. She'd better wrap this up then, before the poor girl exploded. "You'll need to get a vampire's fang, representing Diligence, in place of Sloth," she said.

"How does that represent Diligence?" Sam interrupted. Gail had told them about Bobby's blood representing Humility, and that had made sense to him. Bobby may be God, but he was the most humble deity Sam could imagine. And the sword of God represented Kindness, somewhat ironically. But what sense did this make?

Rowena looked at Sam with a tolerant expression. "Vampires are very diligent. Aren't they, dearie?" she taunted Gail.

Gail frowned. She didn't need to be reminded of that, and Sam and Dean really didn't need to be reminded of it, either. "Fine," she said shortly. "A vampire's fang. What else?"

"The tears that Lust and Greed will cause," Rowena replied vaguely. She may have a bit of newfound respect for Gail, but that didn't mean the girl was entitled to speak to Rowena that way.

"Meaning what?" Dean asked. Rowena smiled. She would answer him, instead. A little edge in a man was sexy.

"It means, my lamb, the tears of the former Angel Aurielle, representing Chastity over Lust. And the tears of the current Angel Jason, representing Liberality over Greed," Rowena said slyly.

Gail was stunned. A vampire fang? OK, she knew Hunters, so that may not be too hard to obtain. And Aurielle was in Hell now, so Gail could get Crowley to take her down to see Aurielle there. Gail was pretty sure it wouldn't be too difficult for her to get Aurielle's tears, one way or the other. But, Jason? Seriously? How was she supposed to make HIM cry? And how could she even gain access to him now? He was in Heaven, wasn't he?

Sam and Dean were looking at each other. They could likely help with the Vampire thing, but they might have to call on other resources for Jason's and Aurielle's tears. It would be time for a brainstorming session when they got back to the bunker.

It was late when they got back, and the brothers were tired.

Sam yawned widely. "I'm beat," he said. "We'll figure out how we're going to get the stuff in the morning."

Gail gave them both a hug before they went to bed. "Thanks for sticking with me, you guys," she told them. "I couldn't get this done without you."

Dean smiled at her. "We want it just as much as you do, Gail," he said. And it was the truth. He'd seen flashes of the old Cas during their caper tonight, and he missed that guy. "What are you gonna do while we're sleeping?"

"I think I'll go back to the house and take a shower," Gail told him. "And don't look at me that way. Cas is in Europe, and I can't teleport that far," she said tartly.

The brothers exchanged glances. OK. That was true. So they wished her goodnight, and went down the hall to their rooms.

Once again, Gail's doe eyes had made them believe in what she was saying. She may not be able to teleport that far, but she hadn't said anything about not calling him, had she?

Cas picked up his cell phone, which was sitting on the nightstand. Gail! He answered eagerly.

"Hi, Cas," she said softly. "Nothing's wrong," she continued, anticipating his question. "I just wanted to hear your voice."

"It's good to hear yours, too," he said, smiling. He kicked his shoes off and arranged the pillows behind him with his free hand so he could sit up in bed while they spoke. Maybe he would leave one pillow beside him and pretend she was lying next to him.

"We got three more ingredients from Rowena to get," Gail told him. She described the items they were supposed to obtain. "I'm pretty sure the fang is doable, and I'm sure I can get Aurielle to cry." Cas could hear the smile in her voice when she said that. Cas was sure Gail could, too. All she would have to do was detail some of their more vigorous activities in the bedroom, and poor Aurielle would be crying buckets. Too bad for her. She was the one who had poured the damn potion down his throat to begin with.

"But how the hell are we supposed to make Jason cry?" Gail asked him.

Cas's brow furrowed. Damned if he knew. Jason wasn't exactly the crying kind. You had to care about something in order to cry about it, didn't you? Even when Cas had tortured the living crap out of Jason, he hadn't shed one tear. And Cas couldn't think of anything that would make him do so.

He sighed. "I don't know, Gail. I guess we'll just have to think about that."

"The guys said the same thing. They're gone to bed now," Gail told him. "So I came home, found my cell phone, and called you, of course." She smiled. "What are you doing right now?"

"Nothing," Cas said. "I'm just sitting up in bed. You?"

"The same," Gail replied.

Silence.

"Cas? Are you still there?"

He was still there, but Cas was having trouble now. They'd had to go and say they were in bed, hadn't they? Now that was all he could think about.

"I'm here," he told her. "I'm just thinking."

"Where are you, Cas?" she asked him. "Still in Rome?"

He frowned. He hadn't been planning to tell her yet. But, did it really matter? "Vancouver," he said shortly.

Gail was thrilled. He was back in North America, and he was in the city where they'd had such a good life together, if only for a short while.

"You're not going to believe it," Cas blurted out. Had he really thought he could keep from telling her? "I was able to get our old apartment back."

Gail's mouth dropped open. "No way!" she exclaimed.

"Way," he deadpanned, and she laughed. "I couldn't believe it, either," he continued. "It's like it was meant to be."

"You should see if you can get your old job back," she said, half-jokingly.

"I was thinking about doing just that," Cas replied, smiling.

"Oh, THAT'S what you were thinking about," she teased.

"No, that's not what I was thinking about, and you know it," he retorted.

Gail suddenly appeared in front of him, standing at the foot of his bed. "I know," she said, smiling. "'Bye," she said into the phone, hanging up. "And hello," she said to Cas, moving to the nightstand beside him. She put her phone down on it, and she was pleased to see her photo leaning up against the base of the lamp. She touched it with her finger.

"I just came to see my photo," Gail teased.

Cas pushed End Call and put his cell phone on the table next to hers. He'd tried to be good, but she was here, and he couldn't hold out any longer.

"Come here," he said, opening his arms.

She climbed onto the bed and kissed him, nestling into his arms. "There. That's better," she said.

Cas rolled her over onto her back. "I tried, Gail, but I can't," he told her. "I can't be good anymore."

"I can't, either," she said to him. "Let's be bad together. Just try not to make it hurt too much."

He hesitated. He wished she hadn't said that. "I don't want to hurt you," he said, frowning. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."

But she was stroking him now through his pants, and his breath caught. In a second, he wasn't going to be able to stop, no matter what either of them said or did.

"Probably not," Gail said, but she was smiling. She'd been too good for too long, and Oliver and Rowena had gotten to her. Oliver kept looking at her like she was so bad. Maybe she wanted to be bad. And then there was Rowena, rubbing it in that Gail was doing without. Well, Gail didn't feel like denying herself any more. What good was having Demon blood in you anyway, if you didn't use it?

Cas was taking her top off now, and she was helping him with his shirt. He caressed her bare skin, licking her neck, and then her breasts. She held his head and smiled. He was breathing heavily, but he was keeping himself under control. Cas trailed his tongue down her stomach and undid her pants, then slipped them down over her hips. He was shaking from need now, but he forced himself to go slowly.

Once he had her pants off, he caressed her hips and thighs. Gail opened her legs and he used his tongue on her, sighing contentedly. Her body jerked, and he stopped immediately. "Are you all right?" he asked her, lifting his head to look at her face.

"Yes, Cas, I'm fine," she said, smiling. "More than fine. Please don't stop. You're making me feel so good."

Phew. He was afraid he had been hurting her. "Well, in that case..." He answered her smile. Then he gave her a few slow licks, and when she began to whimper, he sped up, and she began to cry out. "Cas!" she yelled. She grabbed the back of his head and held it right where she needed it, and the feeling was so intense that she started to laugh. On and on it went as the waves of pleasure hit her, receded, then came back again. "I love you!" she cried out, and he smiled. She still loved him, and she still needed him. He had been right to come back. How could they ever have been so far apart? Look at her now; she was so happy, and it was still Cas who was making her feel this way, no one else.

When she'd calmed down, he climbed on top of her and slipped into her, pushing forward eagerly, but taking care not to be too rough. Her legs wrapped around him and he licked her lips until she gave him her tongue. He groaned loudly, and then he was still.

"I told you," he told her, trying to get his breath back.

"I love you too, Cas," she said, touching his face with both hands. "And that didn't hurt at all. In fact, I think we need to go again in a few minutes."

He smiled. "Sounds good to me."

Cas laid down beside her and cuddled her for a while.

"I see our TV's still here," Gail said teasingly.

"Why, do you want to watch it?" Cas said, matching her tone.

"No, I don't think so," she replied. She started to stroke him, and he was getting excited again. "Maybe later."

Cas was moving against her hand now, and he looked at her, his eyes lidded. "Would you do something for me?" he asked her.

"Which way?" she replied.

"Lay on your stomach," he breathed. "I won't be too rough, I promise." Then he smiled. "Just rough enough."

His eyes were darker now, but so were hers. He was stroking her now too, and Gail knew he would continue to do so once they got into position. So she laid on her stomach and he eased into her, reaching around to continue stroking her.

"It's OK, you can go faster, Cas," she encouraged him.

So he sped up his motion, looking down at her body. Some of the marks seemed to be fading, and he was glad. She would look a lot better with pristine skin. She was so good to let him do this, and she felt so good underneath him.

"Harder," she urged. "It's OK."

So he went harder, and she was rising up to meet him now. He loved it when she did that. He sped up his fingers, and she started calling out his name into the pillows. He moaned as the pleasure spread through his body, and he pushed into her, watching her writhe underneath him. He cried out her name and collapsed on top of her, kissing and licking her neck.

"You're so good," he breathed into her ear. She loved feeling his hot breath in her ear, and when he licked her earlobe, her body jumped again. That had been fantastic. Except for the little bit of pain she felt from that particular activity, which was normal, Gail couldn't feel one painful spot on her body now. Just a warm glow.

Cas rose from her and helped turn her around, and then he lifted her up so he could kiss her on the mouth. "Any pain?" he asked her.

"None," Gail said happily. "Let's rest a bit, then we'll go one more time, and then I'll get back before the wardens realize I'm gone."

He smiled. Funny, he'd been thinking the same thing. And now that he'd let himself surrender to his carnal urges without hurting her, he was wondering if he and Gail needed to be separated at all.

They laid back down, but as he cuddled her, the Demon began to play with his mind. If he begged her to stay here with him, she probably would. In fact, he might not even need to beg. She had come here to him of her own free will, hadn't she? She wanted to be here. She'd called Sam and Dean "wardens", and her eyes had gone dark. Why couldn't they just live here together and continue to love each other like this? Who were they hurting? Then Sam and Dean could go about their business, and Bobby could go about his. Why did they even need this so-called "cure", when they were happy the way they were?

They dozed in each other's arms for a while, and then he started caressing her body again. "Come here," he said, motioning to her, and she knew what he wanted. She positioned herself by his mouth and took him in hers. They licked each other, teasing, driving each other crazy. He pushed himself into her mouth and she took him. But he was still teasing her, giving her a couple of slow licks but then holding her away from him. "Please, Cas," she whimpered. "No," he said, smiling. "Not yet." OK, Gail thought. Let's see how you like it, then. She started to give him the same little licks he was giving her, and it was making him nuts. "All right. You win," he said, his smile growing wider. He loved it when she pleaded, but he loved it even more when she pushed back. So he brought her to his mouth and she started to cry out immediately. Then she took him in her mouth, and they moved together. He could feel the vibration from her cries, and it was amazing. He cried out then too, and Gail felt the shock of pleasure throughout her whole body.

When they were done, he cuddled her again. "Stay here with me," he murmured.

"I can't," she said reluctantly. "If I don't show up in the morning, they'll freak out. And we have to start brainstorming, figure out how we're going to get these new ingredients." Then she brightened. "Why don't you come with me? We can all put our heads together." She kissed him softly on the cheek. "You're a pretty smart fella, you know." She smiled.

But Cas wasn't smiling. "I don't want to do that, Gail."

She misunderstood what he was trying to say. "I think the guys would be OK with it," she said mildly. "The three of you seemed all right in Rome."

Cas frowned. "You don't understand, Gail. I want you to move here with me. I don't want you to go back to the bunker at all."

She was puzzled. "Well, I have to. How else are we going to get all the stuff we need for the cure?"

His eyes darkened. "I don't think we need a 'cure'. We're just fine the way we are. We'll just stay here together. We won't bother anyone, and I won't let anyone bother us. We could be very happy," he said to her.

No cure? What was he talking about? She hadn't gone through all this for nothing! Yes, they'd had a fantastic night, but they'd had those before, and then things had gone terribly wrong.

"Be right back," Gail said, holding up one finger. She climbed out of the bed and threw her clothes back on, then left the room. Cas furrowed his brow. Where was she going?

Gail walked down the hall and entered the kitchen. She opened one of the cabinet doors. Good. The drinking glasses were still there. The apartment had come furnished, and the previous tenants had left some dishes in the kitchen. They'd been Angels when they had lived here, so of course she had never used them. But she'd known they were here.

She grabbed a glass and took it back to the bedroom with her, carrying it over to the nightstand. Then she picked up her cell phone and put it in her pants pocket.

"What are you doing?" Cas asked, grabbing her wrist. "Come back to bed." She wasn't preparing to leave, was she? Didn't she know he could make her stay, if she wouldn't do so willingly?

Gail braced herself in preparation for what she was about to do. But she had to do something drastic, or she knew she would persuade herself to just stay here with him and abandon the cure. After the wonderful night they'd just had, that would be all too easy to do. It was the cure that was hard.

She grabbed the drinking glass with her free hand and smashed it against the table. Then she shook free from Cas's grip and picked up one of the shards of broken glass, cutting her own arm with it.

She thrust her arm towards Cas, grimacing in pain as the blood ran down from the cut. She had made herself cut deep, so there was a fair amount of blood coming out of the wound.

"If you can heal this, without tasting it, or even wanting to, I'll consider staying," Gail said, watching Cas's face closely.

His eyes darkened even more. What was she trying to pull? She wanted to stay with him; he knew she did. Look at the amazing night they had just had. It could be like that all the time. Well, she wasn't going anywhere. She had offered herself up to him like this at the bunker, and he had made her very happy, after she'd let him to what he needed to do. And she had liked it. She was just looking for an excuse to have him do it to her again.

Suddenly, he grabbed her and pulled her towards him. She lost her balance, falling on top of him. He rolled her over and pulled her pants down, then he seized her arm and put his lips to her cut, sucking the blood from it while stroking her with his other hand.

"I'll make you feel amazing, just like before," he told her, continuing to lick the blood from her arm. "I don't need that much. Just once in a while. Please, Gail. Remember how good I made you feel?" His fingers sped up their motion, and she felt herself starting to respond. His mouth came down on hers, and he pried her lips open with his tongue. She could taste her own blood, and it sickened her.

"You want my tongue there, don't you?" Cas breathed. "Just say it, and I'll make you feel fantastic."

She did want it there, so much. She was moving against his fingers now, and he was smiling. All she had to do was say yes, and he would have her like this forever.

"No, Cas," Gail said, even as she was moving with him. Oh, God, she had to stop. If she didn't now, she never would. She knew he wouldn't stop; he was incapable. And if she abandoned the cure now, she was condemning them to live like this for the rest of time.

"No," she said more firmly, pushing him away. Cas was angry now. She had offered herself up to him, and now she was telling him no? He reached for her again, and she panicked. He had that look on his face now. And he was stronger than her physically; if she let him overpower her, that would be it.

So she winked herself out from under him, and back to the bunker. In her panic, she hadn't thought about where in the bunker to target herself, so she appeared in the library area, pants still pulled down and arm dripping with blood.

Dean was at the table, drinking what appeared to be a glass of whiskey, and his eyes widened when he saw her. Dean had had a lot of trouble sleeping lately, and sometimes he would get out of bed and go to the bar, pouring himself a glass of the hard stuff. Then he would sit here and brood about the mess they were all in now. That was what he had been doing the night they had returned from Lucifer's cage. Now that they seemed to be making some progress, he had come out here to think about the Vampire fang they needed, and he'd been getting an inkling of an idea when Gail suddenly appeared.

Crap! Gail pulled her pants up hurriedly, seeing the expression on Dean's face. Why hadn't she gone back to the house first? She could have gone outside first, or to her room here. But she'd been so panicked that she hadn't been thinking.

"Sorry, Dean. I didn't mean to scare you," she said sheepishly.

He jumped to his feet. "You're bleeding, Gail. What the hell?" Then he saw the blood smear on her mouth, and he knew. This looked all too familiar. Cas. Damn Cas.

"I know, I'm sorry," she said again. "Do you have something - ?"

Dean rushed over to the drawer in the coffee nook and grabbed a couple of bandages, then he grabbed the cloth Sam kept on the counter.

"Sit down," he ordered her. Gail sat. Dean handed her the cloth. "Wipe your mouth," he said angrily. He pulled up a chair next to her and pulled her arm towards him, wrapping the bandage around it. When he was done, he flipped her arm over and fastened the bandage with the metal clip. "There. That should stop the bleeding," he told her.

Dean raised his eyes to look at her face. He didn't say anything; he just stared at her. Gail finished wiping her mouth and put the cloth on the table, avoiding his gaze. "Thanks, Dean," she said quietly.

"I'm about two steps away from locking you up," Dean fumed. "Tell me why I shouldn't."

Gail frowned. "Believe it or not, tonight was a test," she said. Then she did look at Dean, trying to give him a smile. "He failed."

Dean counted to ten so he wouldn't yell at her. No freaking kidding, he thought.

"I won't be making that mistake again," Gail told him. She held up a hand in anticipation of his protest. "I know, I know. I've said that before. But this time, I really mean it. He tried to persuade me to abandon the cure, Dean. And I don't want to tell you how close I came."

He made a face, remembering the state of undress she had been in when she'd first appeared. Yeah, he could just bet that Cas had been very persuasive. Based on the sounds he and Sam had heard coming out of their room when they had both been staying here, Dean could bet that Cas had been persuading her brains out.

But at least she had come back; he supposed that was something, anyway. Cas had better stay away for a while, though. Dean's punching hand was starting to itch again.

"Give me your phone, Gail," Dean ordered her. She looked at him, then shrugged and reached into her pants pocket, handing it over. Normally, she would have been angry at his demand, but right now she felt as if it might be for the best.

Dean looked a little surprised that she had handed it over so meekly, but he put it in his shirt pocket and gave her a brief smile. "And, now that I'm on a roll, I'm calling Bobby," he told her. "I want him to come down and have a talk with you."

"No, Dean," Gail said. She didn't want a lecture from Bobby right now. Maybe it would do her some good to talk to somebody, though. But who?

Dean bristled. "What do you mean, 'no'? We keep telling you to stay away, and you keep going back anyway. Somebody's gotta talk some sense into you, Gail. I don't know what happened tonight, and I don't even want to know. Why do you think I'm sitting up here, in the middle of the night? You and Cas are driving me crazy! I don't know what to do with you anymore," he said, raising his voice.

"Shh. You'll wake Sam up," she cautioned him.

Dean nodded. She was right. That'd be all he'd need. Every time Gail popped in here with fresh injuries, Dean had to spend hours calming Sam down.

"Yeah, you don't want him coming out here," he told her angrily. "He's two inches away from killing Cas, and I'm about one inch away from letting him."

Gail said nothing. What could she say, really?

"You're smarter than this, Gail," Dean said. That one hurt, because he was absolutely right. She WAS smarter than this. What exactly had she thought was going to happen tonight? Had she really thought that those few romantic moments in Rome had changed anything? Pope or no Pope, Cas was what he was now. Maybe the cure was so onerous because the disease was so debilitating.

"I know, Dean. You're right," she replied. "I promise you, I'll stay away from him. But we've got to remember; he's got a disease, and it's not his fault. Would you want to kick his ass if he had terminal cancer?"

OK, Dean could kind of see her point there. He sighed.

"And I have Stage 1, or maybe Stage 2, of the same disease," Gail went on. "So, I'm not always thinking clearly myself. But I think you're right. I do need to talk to somebody from Heaven."

Dean brightened. This was more like it.

Gail smiled wryly. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but: I want to talk to Chuck."

"Chuck?" Dean was surprised. He knew that Chuck was a good guy now, but, still. "Why Chuck?"

"I don't know," Gail said. But she did have a couple of ideas; she just wasn't prepared to talk to Dean on the subject. "But it's either Chuck, or nobody."

Dean sighed again and picked up his cell phone.

Gail had begged Dean not to mention her little excursion to Vancouver to Bobby, and Dean had agreed, even though it was against his better judgement. Of course, Bobby could have seen her and Cas if he'd been looking, but she didn't think that was too likely. The last Bobby had heard, she had been back home in the bunker, safe and sound. And if worse came to worst, he would probably only have seen their intimacies early on in the encounter, and Gail knew Bobby wouldn't have wanted to watch that.

Bobby had suggested to Dean that Gail come up to Heaven, but she'd shaken her head vigorously. No. Chuck needed to come down here. Every time she even thought about going to Heaven, Gail felt sick to her stomach. The Demon in her was repulsed by the idea; there was no way Gail wanted to show up there, surrounded by all those Angels. Too many eyes, and too many questions. And there was something else, something she hadn't told anyone, not even Cas. A while back, as an experiment, she had tried to ascend. But she hadn't been able to do it.

So Bobby brought Chuck down to the bunker.

"How are you, Gail?" Bobby asked her.

His gaze felt penetrating, but that was probably just her guilty conscience talking. Apparently, she did still have one.

"I'm fine, Bobby," she replied. He was silent. He seemed to be waiting for her to say something else, but she wasn't going to take the bait. Gail had seen a lot of cop shows on TV, so she knew that quite often when a suspect was being questioned, the interrogator would let them babble on, and they hung themselves by saying too much.

"You're fine? Nothing to report since you got back from Rome?" Bobby persisted.

Crap. He knew. She was lying right to God's face. Well, she was a Demon now, wasn't she?

"Nope. Nothing," Gail said casually. Her heart was beating faster, but she made herself look at Chuck then. "Hi, Chuck, how're you doing?"

Chuck gave her a tight smile. "I'm good, Gail." But he knew that she wasn't. He'd been pleasantly surprised when Bobby had told him that she wanted to see him. Chuck had been wanting to talk to her too, but he'd had no idea how to go about it.

Bobby was frowning. He knew all about Gail's little trip to Vancouver. He'd known that she was back from Rome and that she was OK, but Bobby had also seen that romantic interlude in Rome, and it had made him nervous. Every time he'd thought his mother had had just about enough from his dad, Bobby's father had seemed to be able to sense that. Then he'd been extremely loving and attentive for a couple of days, and she would get sucked right in again. It was the weirdest thing. Bobby hadn't understood it at the time, and he still wasn't sure that he did, not entirely. But he had gained extensive knowledge on many subjects throughout the years, and Bobby could safely say he'd seen just about everything by now. He'd certainly seen more than he'd ever wanted to see when he had looked in on them in Vancouver. But Bobby had just had the feeling that Gail wouldn't be able to stay away from Cas much longer. Damn Cas, anyway. Why had he come back to North America? If Cas had stayed where he was, she wouldn't have been able to go to him. At least, Bobby didn't think she could. When he had sent the three of them to Rome, Gail had said she wasn't able to go that far on her own. But she supposedly had the powers of an Original, something Bobby still knew next to nothing about. Maybe she just lacked the confidence to try.

So Bobby had zeroed in on them in Vancouver, and he had forced himself to keep an eye open, even though what he'd seen was extremely personal. And at first, what he had watched looked merely like a passionate encounter between a man and a woman, and nothing more. Nothing sinister about it. In a way, it had reminded Bobby of many of the nights he'd had with Rowena, minus the drinking, in the Angels' case. Bobby may be older now, but he wasn't ancient, and he was still able to look back on some of those sessions with a smile on his face. So, even though it was uncomfortable to see the two of them engaged in an activity like that, a part of Bobby had thought: Good for them. He had even allowed himself a moment of amusement to be seeing his old Angel friend Castiel in that context. No wonder he seemed a lot more relaxed than the Angel Bobby had known before. But Bobby also knew that what he was seeing was part of a pattern, and his amusement had faded quickly. Other encounters that had started like this had obviously turned violent, and there was nothing whatsoever that was funny about that. Cas was playing Gail like a violin, and he couldn't be trusted.

And sure enough, when Cas got around to trying to convince Gail to abandon the cure, Bobby's ears had perked up, and he had begun to watch intently. Would she allow herself to become convinced? But then she had bravely put Cas to the test, and he had shown his true Demon colours. Bobby had felt like throwing up when he'd seen Cas drink her blood like that, though. Bobby had known things were bad, but he'd had no damn idea. Holy God. No wonder she was pursuing the cure so relentlessly. Bobby was going to have to have therapy for years to come just to get that image out of his head, though. But Gail had done the right thing, and now she was back here, vowing never to see Cas by herself again. Bobby didn't think her vow would hold; those kinds of vows seldom did. But at least she wanted to talk to someone, and that felt like progress. Too bad she didn't want to talk to Bobby himself; he could offer her a wealth of experience on the subject. But he could also understand it. He was God, and he was obviously still an authority figure to her. It would have seemed strange to him that she wanted to speak to Chuck a while back, but Bobby was aware that Gail thought of Chuck as a friend and an ally to her and Cas now. And, as far as Gail was aware, Chuck was the only other denizen of Heaven who knew about Cas's situation. So if she needed to talk to an Angel, Bobby supposed it made sense, in a way.

"I'll be heading back now," Bobby said. He looked at Chuck. "Call me on Angel Radio when you're ready to come back." Then he disappeared.

Gail sighed with relief. Bobby knew, but he hadn't called her on it. Maybe she could have talked to him, after all. But Bobby had been exactly right in his assessment of the situation. She couldn't talk to God about some of the things she needed to get off her chest.

"Hey, Dean," Chuck said, taking a seat next to Gail at the table.

"Hey," Dean said absently. But he was looking at Gail. It was still a little hard for Dean to think of Chuck as a good-guy Angel, after all the crap he had pulled in the past. "Are you gonna be all right?" he asked her.

Gail waved her hand. "Yeah, yeah. Go to bed, Dean."

Dean sighed, then got up and started down the hallway. Yeah, right. For all the sleep he was getting these days, he might as well be an Angel, too.

Chuck had noticed the bandage on Gail's arm immediately, of course, but he didn't know if he should open with that. He didn't want to scare her off right away. But he didn't want to just sit here and make small talk with her, either. That would be a waste of both of their time. She'd obviously called him all the way here to talk about something real, like a friend. That made him feel good. He wanted to be her friend, and he wanted to be Cas's, too, if that was still possible. But Chuck had seen some things that had chilled his blood. He had also seen them in Vancouver, and even though he had tried to do the right thing and shut it off, it wouldn't go.

Gail saw Chuck staring at her bandage, and she knew he was having trouble starting the conversation, so she let him off the hook. "It's OK, Chuck. You can ask about the bandage. I'm sure you must be curious," she said to him.

Chuck was uncomfortable now, but if he was here to have an honest conversation, he might as well be honest. "I already know, Gail," he said sadly. "He tried to smile. "Prophet, remember?"

"So you saw everything?" she asked him.

Chuck sighed. "Yeah. Sorry, Gail."

Incredibly, she smiled. "Good. It'll save time."

Chuck looked at her, debating. Then he sat back in his chair. "Can I be brutally honest with you, Gail?"

She winced a little, but said, "Yeah. Please. That's kind of why you're here, Chuck. I need to have a brutally honest conversation with somebody. And I just had the feeling it should be with you."

Chuck felt honoured that she would say that, but he gave her a rueful smile. "Yeah, I'd be the person, all right. OK, you want honesty? Here you go: I get it, Gail."

She looked sharply at him. "What do you mean?"

He made himself look her in the eye. He'd been the one to say those awful things to her at the viewing of Cas's body after the execution, and it fell to him now to do it again. He only hoped she was still speaking to him after this.

"I mean, I get it," he said to her. "That was some pretty hot sex you guys were having, and it's hard to walk away from that kind of thing. Even if you don't have Demon juice in your blood. I watched a lot longer than I should have, and at one point, I was Cas, and at another point, I was you." Chuck smiled, trying to defuse the rottenness of what he was saying. "I never realized how sexy Cas was before."

She looked at him, wide-eyed, and then she laughed. She'd known that Chuck was the right kind of guy to talk to about this. Maybe the only one.

"I watched a lot of porn when I was a human, and what you guys were doing was a lot more tame than some of the stuff I used to watch," Chuck continued. "But I confess: I got worked up watching you both. So I can understand why you don't want to do without it. And why should you, right? I'm a little surprised you even want the cure." He smiled again, to show her he was mostly joking.

"Well, if you watched the whole thing, and I'll decide how mad I want to be at you about that later - " she smiled too, to show him she appreciated his honesty, "then you know that I came close to giving up on the cure."

"I can't exactly blame you," Chuck said, nodding. "But I also know he's been hurting you, Gail, and not necessarily in the good way." His smile faded somewhat. "But it's a fine line, sometimes. Believe me, I know from personal experience." He took a deep breath, and then told her about the woman he had paid to whip him that one time. He saw her mouth open, and he knew what she was about to say, so he held his hand up. "I'm not saying that's you, Gail. I'm really not. I just told you that to show you that I really do get it. There's something very appealing about being dominated in bed. You and I are a lot alike, Gail. We like books, and we like to intellectualize things, but we both have trouble with people sometimes. I've never been in love, unfortunately. But I know what I would be like if I was. I've never thought I was good enough for anybody to love me, and that's why I was such an evil douche to everyone. And I know you don't think you're good enough for Cas to love. You never have. That's why you let him do just about anything to you that he wants. You feel like you're lucky he even wants to be with you at all. You know the way the female Angels look at him, and you're afraid he'll just wise up one day and realize how ordinary you really are, and he'll move on." Chuck sat back again. He'd been leaning forward during his soliloquy, and when he'd seen her eyes fill up with tears, he knew that he had hit the mark. Was Chuck absolutely sure that he was one of the good guys now?

But that was what Gail had been looking for, and even though it had hurt her to hear her own thoughts expressed so clearly, and coming out of Chuck's mouth, she was glad that he had said them, and glad he understood her.

"It's all true," she said quietly. "Thanks, Chuck."

"What are you thanking me for?" he said, almost angrily. "I'm the scum of the earth. Look at you. Haven't you been beaten up enough?"

"Apparently not." She tried to smile through the tears.

"Look, Gail. I've known Cas for years," Chuck told her. "And I can tell he genuinely loves you. I've never seen him like he is when he's with you. He always seemed to be above us all before." He smiled bitterly. "Maybe that's why I used to hate him so much. He just seemed to float through Heaven, oblivious to all the admiring stares from the female Angels, and from a few of the guys, too. But after he met you, he changed. I could see it in him, Gail."

"Yeah, but that was before. He's something totally different now, Chuck," she said sadly.

"Yes, but maybe not as different as you think," Chuck replied. "The Cas we know is still in there. I'm sure of it." She looked at him warily. "Yeah? What makes you say that?" Gail asked skeptically. She had thought so, too; but after Vancouver, Gail had really started to wonder. Maybe, when she thought she'd seen flashes of the old Castiel, it had just been the Demon manipulating her all along.

Chuck sighed. He hadn't been planning on telling her this, but maybe she needed to hear it. "Well, for one thing, his encounter with the Pope really did happen. I saw it."

Gail nodded. That was good to know. She had taken the story at face value at the time, but, after earlier tonight, she had been wondering if Demon Cas had made that up just to suck her in. She sighed. "Too bad he couldn't have taken the vampire out of Cas at the same time," she said to Chuck. It felt freeing to be able to say something like that out loud and not have the person you were talking to screw their face up in disgust. Chuck understood that, too. Even though the diseased potion was dictating Cas's urges right now, Chuck knew that some people were into that sort of thing. And even though it wasn't his cup of tea, Chuck wouldn't condemn anyone, if both were consenting adults and both liked it.

"When Cas was in Hell, he had the opportunity to torture Aurielle, but he didn't. I saw that, too. And he was in a room alone with her, and she basically threw herself at him. But he told her he loved you, and to get lost," Chuck told Gail. He was embellishing just a tad, but not by much; Chuck thought that Gail needed to hear that Cas hadn't crossed that line.

Gail felt about ten different emotions, all at once. She was inexplicably and mostly glad that Cas hadn't tortured Aurielle. She supposed that meant he still had some chivalry left in him, or whatever that represented in that particular situation. Then Gail pictured Aurielle straddling Castiel in the cabin, and him kissing her for an instant. Now, for just a second, Gail wished that Cas HAD tortured her. Aurielle had quite a big part in what was wrong in their lives right now, and Gail hadn't forgotten that. But mainly, she just felt warm inside. Cas was a Demon now, and so was Aurielle. Presumably, no one would have known if Cas had decided to try a different flavour. Gail knew that she herself was the only woman Cas had ever been with, and he had been around since Creation. That was an awful lot of time, and an awful lot of monogamy. Actually, Gail had been a little surprised that Cas was still a virgin when they had met. As good-looking and charming as he was, it was almost shocking that he had never been with any other woman before. And quite frankly, now that Gail had been the only beneficiary of his amazing skills in that department, she wouldn't be able to stand his using them on anyone else.

"Thanks for telling me that, Chuck. It means a lot to me," Gail told him.

He nodded, then raised an eyebrow to her. "Vampirism, though? Metatron really went off the grid on that one."

Gail smiled sadly. There was that refreshing bluntness again. "Yeah, he sure did," she agreed. "And since we're bring so honest with each other, there was a part of me that didn't really mind. He was so grateful afterwards, and he had a hell of a way of showing his gratitude." She pictured Cas between her legs, licking her enthusiastically, and she shivered. Then she looked sharply at Chuck. He couldn't read thoughts too, could he? But then she shrugged. It wasn't as if Chuck hadn't seen it all already. He'd confessed to her that he had, and that it had excited him. She supposed she should be mortified by that, and angry with Chuck. But for some reason she could accept that from him, when she wouldn't have been able to accept it from anyone else.

"But it leads to too much blood, and too much pain," she continued. "I may like a little aggressiveness, but I'm not into S&M, Chuck."

He nodded again. "I hear you, Gail. Thanks for talking to me so honestly. I'd be the last person to judge you. And it's OK to feel the way you feel. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I read a quote somewhere: 'Do not be dismayed to learn there is a bit of devil in you. There is a bit of the devil in us all.'" He smiled. "That's certainly been true of me all my life. Even though I'm an Angel again, and I'm trying to be a good guy."

"You ARE a good guy, Chuck," she assured him. "Thanks for listening to me the way you have, and for not judging me. That was exactly what I needed."

"Well, I think I might have done most of the talking," he said, smiling. "But if it helped, then I'm glad."

"It did." Gail reached out her hand and put it on top of his. He took her hand and squeezed it for a moment, then let go.

"That Demon bastard is a lucky guy," Chuck quipped. But he continued to smile, and Gail couldn't help but smile back.

"Speaking of which..." Gail said. She told Chuck about the ingredients she'd already gotten for the cure, and the latest ingredients she needed to get, and asked him if he had any ideas.

Chuck mused. "That's one hell of an assortment. What a crazy potion that must have been." He looked at her. "You have the spell book here in the library, right?"

"Yeah," Gail confirmed. She looked over at the shelf where Dean had placed it, after their initial meeting with Oliver. Sam hadn't bothered to file it amongst the others in the witchcraft category, in case they needed to put their hands on it quickly.

"Mind if I take a look?" Chuck asked her.

"Sure." She shrugged and walked over to get the book. She handed it to him, and Chuck flipped through it. He noticed that someone had written on the last page: "Magic is all about words and believing. If you believe, then anything is possible." Chuck looked up at Gail. "Have you seen this?" he said, showing it to her.

"No, I never looked that closely at the stupid thing," she admitted to him. "Considering what I'm trying to do, maybe I should, but I just don't have much stomach for it." She looked at the page he was showing her. "So, anything is possible if you just believe, huh? Well, isn't that nice," she said sarcastically. "That just takes care of that, then."

Chuck smirked. "That sounds like one of those things you see on Facebook. You know, the sayings that are designed to inspire people, but that make you want to roll your eyes right out of your head."

Gail laughed. "Thank you!" she said. "You just said exactly what I was thinking!"

"Hey, just because we're Angels doesn't mean we can't tell it like it is," Chuck said, but he instantly regretted it as her face fell. "I'm sorry, Gail. You know I didn't mean anything by that. I'm just so used to thinking of you as an Angel."

"I know that, Chuck," she said, sighing. "I don't know what I am right now, or even what I want to be."

Chuck closed the book and looked at her closely. "You don't need to decide that right now, Gail. Let's just focus on the goal. You're right, though; I don't think this book is the answer." He put it back on the table. "We have to approach this logically. You need a vampire's fang. Well, if you need to get something from a monster, you have to go where the monsters are, right?"

Gail shrugged. "I was going to ask Sam to start net-surfing tomorrow. Maybe call Frank too, see what he's heard." Poor Frank, she thought. He kept being chased away. But she still thought it was best that he stay on the road for the time being. She would really have to make it up to him once this was all over.

"You may not have to go through all that," Chuck said. "I know where there are a ton of vampires right now."

"Really?" Gail brightened. "Where?"

"Purgatory," Chuck replied.

Gail's mouth dropped open. She hadn't thought of that. He was right, but: "The only problem is, who do we know who could go there? You have to be dead to go there, don't you? Or an otherworldly being, at least." She thought furiously. "I'd go myself, but I'm not nearly a good enough fighter for that place." Chuck opened his mouth to speak, but Gail held her hand up. "And don't say Sam and Dean," she said. "I'm not having them killed again. Well, Dean, anyway."

Chuck looked at her, startled. "What?"

She laughed shortly, telling him the story about having Crowley kill Dean so Dean could accompany her to Lucifer's cage that first time.

"Oh, no, you don't want that," Chuck said, horrified. "You're lucky that worked out. You can't trust Crowley, Gail. He's the King of Hell for a reason."

"He's all right," she said, with a casual wave of her hand. "You just have to know how to handle him."

But Chuck grabbed her hand in mid-wave. "Yeah, well, while you're handling him, just make sure he's not handling you," he said pointedly.

She took her hand away. She knew that Chuck was just looking out for her, but she felt an affinity for Crowley now that no one else obviously did. "He's not handling me, Chuck. He's actually helped me a lot, and he hasn't asked for anything in return."

Chuck's gaze was piercing now. "What's a blood bond, Gail?"

What? How could he - Oh. Yeah. She kept forgetting. She shrugged. "I don't know. Cas mentioned something about that, but I don't really get it," she said offhandedly.

"You want to be very careful about that, Gail," Chuck said grimly. "I don't know what it is either, I just know it sounds like trouble."

"Well, there's nothing I can do about it now," she retorted. "I've got both Cas's and Crowley's blood in me now, and I'm the one who let them put it there. And I guess Cas has got some of my blood in him now too, courtesy of our friend Metatron. But Crowley doesn't have any of mine in him, and he's not getting any."

Chuck sighed. "OK, Gail. But, back to this Purgatory thing. I could go."

Gail laughed. "I'm sorry, Chuck. I don't mean to be mean, but I think even I could fight better than you. Since we're being honest, and all."

Chcuk frowned, but he had to admit that she was right. He'd only had the one lesson with Cas, and he had been sore for about a week afterwards. Yeah, they needed somebody who could really fight in that place. Then he had an idea. "What about Jason?" he blurted out.

Gail looked at him, smirking. "Whatever you use to dust those library books must have a really strong chemical in it," she quipped.

But now that Chuck had had his idea, he was starting to warm to it. "Hear me out," he said, thinking furiously. "Ethan told me that Jason told Cas he wants out of the jail, and he wants to be placed in Purgatory. I guess that would be like Disneyland for a guy like him. Maybe Bobby could work out a deal with him, if he agrees to help us. And since he wants to go so badly, maybe we can get him to shed a tear or two over it. Two birds with one stone." He sat back in his chair, pleased with himself.

Interesting, Gail thought. Still..."I don't know, Chuck. It's an interesting premise, but I don't think we could trust him. Besides, even if he got the vampire fang for us, how would we get it from him? He's not going to just bring it back out for us. If he wants to stay there, why would he come out? Then WE could just double-cross HIM."

Chuck thought about that. He supposed she was right. Chuck had had years of experience thinking like a bad guy, and if he were Jason, he would just screw off once he was where he wanted to be. Why would Jason help them? He couldn't be trusted to go to Purgatory alone.

"You're right. We'd have to send somebody with him. Somebody who's a great fighter, and somebody who could help Jason get what we need, and who would bring it back to us. Somebody who would make sure Jason behaves himself until the job is done."

"You realize who you just described, right?" Gail said with a small smile.

"Yeah," Chuck said, smiling also. "Cas."

But she was alarmed. No! She'd been thinking of Crowley. And yes, that also described Cas to a tee, but how could she send Cas and Jason into Purgatory together? Put weapons in their hands, and only one would come out alive, and it might be the wrong one.

"No way, Chuck," she said, shaking her head. "I can't allow that."

Chuck shrugged. "Who says you're the only one whose opinion counts here, Gail?" She looked at him sharply, but he continued. "Look, I know that Cas is a Demon bastard right now, but maybe that's exactly what he needs to be for a job like this. And the cure is for him, isn't it, Gail? Don't you think that he might want to have a say?"

She scoffed. "He doesn't even want the cure."

"I don't believe that, Gail. Our Cas is still in there. I know he is," Chuck said earnestly. Chuck had seen Cas get down on his knees and beg Crowley to revive Gail's brother, and Chuck knew that an actual Demon would never have done something like that. So he was convinced that there was still a part of Cas that could be reached. But he couldn't tell her about that, of course.

"I thought so too, once," Gail said sadly, "but I don't know any more."

"Why don't you give him a shot?" Chuck said. "What have you got to lose?"

Gail let out a breath. "Oh, I don't know. How about my sanity? My self-respect? My dignity?"

"So you're saying you have all of those things now?" Chuck said, smirking.

Gail started to smile. "You realize I'm a Demon now too, right? I'm not above punching you in the face right now."

Chuck laughed, taking her hand. "Let's go on a road trip."

"What? You mean right now?" she asked him.

"None of us sleep," Chuck pointed out.

"Actually, Cas might be sleeping. He does that now, sometimes," she said, frowning.

"So? We'll wake him up," Chuck said lightly. "I'm sure he'll be just thrilled to see me."

Gail laughed. "OK, what about Bobby, then?" she asked him.

Chuck leaned forward. "Screw him."

They were both still laughing when Gail winked them out of the bunker.

But Cas wasn't sleeping. He had been sitting up brooding ever since Gail had winked out from underneath him. He had really done it this time, ranting about not wanting the cure. What the hell had he been thinking? Look how much she had sacrificed for him in her efforts to get the ingredients for the cure. No wonder she had freaked out. And what had he been doing all this time to help her? Yes, he had helped out a bit in Rome, but aside from that, he had just been a burden to her. She was doing all this for him, and all he was doing in return was making her miserable. The Demon didn't want the cure, but Castiel did, and so did Cas. The sex was amazing, but everything else had turned into dust in his hands. And even when they'd had such a loving reunion tonight, he had ruined it. He was surprised she hadn't given up on curing him by now. He just wasn't worth it.

Suddenly, Gail appeared at the foot of the bed, and incredibly, she was holding Chuck's hand. Was his jealousy and insecurity so bad that it was now inducing hallucinations?

"We came to talk to you," Gail said to Cas. "If there's any part of you that still wants the cure, come out to the living room." She pulled Chuck by the hand. Even though she had a chaperone now, Gail didn't want to look at Cas in bed any longer than she had to. It was all too easy for her to visualize all the things she'd like him to do to her in there.

Cas stared after them, astonished. What the hell was this, now? She had come back, after he had behaved so horribly to her once again, and she was still talking about the cure. But what was Chuck doing with her? He'd better get out there, before she changed her mind. He leaped out of the bed and threw on pants and a shirt.

Chuck and Gail were sitting on the couch when Cas came out to the living room. "Hey, Cas," Chuck said casually. "How are you doing?"

"About the same as I was the last time you saw me," Cas replied, frowning. "Unfortunately." He took the chair across from the couch and looked at Gail. He wanted to apologize, but he didn't want to say too much with Chuck right there.

Gail read the expression on his face. "It's OK. We can speak freely in front of Chuck," she told Cas. "He knows everything. And I do mean, EVERYTHING." Her lips twitched.

Cas was puzzled for a moment, but then he realized: Chuck was a Prophet, after all. He probably HAD seen just about everything.

"In that case, I need to apologize to both of you," Cas said, smiling wryly. "I'm ashamed of myself, and of my behaviour. If I thought it would do any good, I would get down on my knees and beg your forgiveness, Gail. But I don't expect it, and I don't deserve it. I can't believe you're even still talking about the cure after the way I've treated you."

"I can't believe it, either," Chuck quipped.

Cas glared at Chuck, but then he saw that both Chuck and Gail were smiling. What was going on with those two? How jealous should he be right now?

"But since she is, and since she insists she loves you, I guess I need to help," Chuck continued. Cas brightened at that. He looked at Gail again, but her expression was neutral. "I had an idea, Cas," Chuck told him.

"Yeah, and it's about the craziest one I've ever heard," Gail said now, rolling her eyes.

Chuck nudged her with his elbow. "Let him hear it first," he admonished her gently.

Gail sighed, sitting back against the couch cushions. "Well then, by all means, go ahead," she said, gesturing with her hand.

Chuck told Cas what he had been thinking, and Gail waited for Cas to laugh, or to roll his eyes as she had done. But his expression was serious, and he appeared to be mulling it over.

"That's an interesting idea, Chuck," Cas said to him. "It might even work."

Gail sat up straight. "You can't seriously be considering this," she said to Cas.

"I can, and I am," he answered her. She almost smiled. This was her Castiel talking now, she could tell.

"But that's crazy," Gail protested. She looked at Chuck, and then back at Cas. "You're both nuts. You and Jason, with weapons, in Purgatory? I just don't even have enough words for everything that's wrong with that picture."

Cas stood and came over to the couch. "Can I trade places with you, Chuck? Please."

Gail stood, too. "Why do you want to do that?"

Cas sighed. She didn't trust him anymore. Not that he could blame her. But it still hurt. "I just wanted to sit beside you for a moment," he told her. "And hold your hand, if you'll let me. That's all. I swear."

She looked him in the eyes. He seemed sincere enough, and Chuck was here with her, anyway. Cas wasn't wearing his blazer, but she had to make sure. "Frisk him, Chuck," Gail said. Chuck looked at her, then he shrugged and said, "You heard the lady, Cas."

Cas nodded and extended his arms to the side, opening up his stance. It wasn't as if he didn't have the practice. Ironically enough, considering what they were talking about now, Jason used to frisk Cas every day when Cas was a prisoner during the tribunal. He knew the drill. And he respected Gail's request. Even though it pained him, a part of him was glad that she was taking no chances. He'd always known how smart she was; now she was proving it.

Chuck moved his hands up and down Cas's body, smiling to himself. This was a first; he'd never actually frisked anyone before. But he'd seen lots of cop shows on TV, so he just did what he had seen them do on those. He couldn't feel any kind of a weapon, so he stepped back and looked at Gail. "He's clean," Chuck said, trying for a tough-guy voice. But she raised an eyebrow to him, and he couldn't help but smile.

Then Chuck went over to sit in the chair Cas had just vacated, and Cas sat down next to Gail. He looked at her bandaged arm. "Would you please let me heal that?" he asked her.

She sighed. "Sure, Cas. Thanks." Might as well take advantage, while he was acting all civilized. She extended her arm, and he began to gently unwrap the bandage.

"I'm surprised Chuck didn't do this for you," Cas told her. But secretly, he was a little pleased. Cas loved doing this for her; it was the Demon who kept on hurting her.

Whap! Chuck hit his forehead with his palm. "I can't believe I didn't think of that!" Chuck exclaimed. He was ashamed of himself. Maybe he hadn't thought of it because he'd never healed anyone before, but still...He looked at Gail. "I'm so sorry, Gail. I'm an idiot," Chuck said to her.

"That's OK, Chuck. I didn't think of it, either. And I didn't ask Bobby, when he was there. So maybe I'm the idiot," Gail said, shrugging.

Cas said nothing, but he started to seethe. So, both Chuck and Bobby had been there, and neither of them had bothered to heal her, or even to make the offer? Was it any wonder that he was leery of Angels sometimes? He looked at Gail as he continued to unwrap her bandage. "Bobby was there?" he asked her quietly.

She could tell he was angry now, but Gail wasn't sure exactly why. Was he upset that she was hanging out with God and with Angels while he himself was a Demon, cut off from their former friends?

"Yeah, but he didn't hang around," Gail replied. "We're not exactly getting along that well these days. He spends a lot of time being mad at me lately."

"I don't know why he should be mad at you," Cas said, frowning. "You've done nothing wrong."

"He's mad at her because she keeps coming to see you," Chuck piped up. He'd been on a roll with this honesty thing, and he thought that Cas could use a dose of it, too.

But Cas stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Chuck with those strange purple eyes, and they had darkened. "Is that so?" he asked Chuck. "Well, what business is it of Bobby's, anyway? Shouldn't that be up to Gail to decide?"

Chuck was intimidated by Cas's look, but he was determined to remain calm. Gail needed somebody to stick up for her, and Cas had to be told that he couldn't just expect to get away with the crap that he had been pulling. "I think it's all of our business when you hurt Gail," Chuck said calmly.

The hand Cas was using to hold Gail's arm steady while he unwrapped her bandage closed tightly around her. "Ow! Cas!" Gail exclaimed, trying to pull away. "If you're just going to hurt me some more, don't bother."

Chuck rose from the chair. "What are you doing, Cas?" He didn't really want to get in Cas's face, but he might have to, if Cas didn't let go of Gail.

Cas's hand flew off her arm immediately. "I'm sorry," he said to Gail. "I just got angry at what Chuck said."

Chuck remained standing, but he didn't approach Cas. When he'd seen Cas remove his hand from Gail's arm, Chuck stood down. But now he was getting a little mad himself. "Look, Cas, if you're mad at me, then just tell me, but don't take it out on Gail. You take way too much out on her as it is. Like how crappy you feel about yourself. Like you don't deserve to be loved. Well, it's not her fault you're a Demon bastard now, and it's not mine, either."

Oh, crap, Gail thought. Cas was starting to get angry, and she didn't think he was going to respond as well to the "tough love" approach as she had. She looked at Chuck, trying the non-verbal communication thing.

Cas had removed his hands from Gail, and he was curling them into fists now, trying to control his temper. Everything Chuck was saying was true, but it was difficult for Cas to hear. He'd reached a new low now, being called out by Chuck, of all people.

"All right, Chuck. You can sit down now," Cas said, looking up at him. "I'm not touching her any more, as you can clearly see."

"No. I don't think I will," Chuck said. "In fact..." He walked over to the couch, gesturing to Gail. "Give it here," he told her.

She unwound the rest of the bandage and extended her arm to Chuck, ignoring Cas's glare. Chuck took her arm gently and touched her wound with his other hand, healing it.

"That's how you do that," Chuck said to Cas. Then he turned around and walked back to the chair, sitting down again.

Gail smiled at him. "Thanks, Chuck."

Cas was looking murderous now, but he made no move towards Chuck. He took a deep breath. He should have been the one to heal her, but it seemed like he couldn't even go near Gail these days without hurting her in some way, one way or the other. He would have to channel the warrior in him now. He turned to Chuck.

"I'll do it," Cas told him.

"Cas-" Gail started to say, but he turned back to her. "I need to do this, Gail," he said, and he was agitated now. "I need to do something productive. Chuck is right. I've been doing nothing but feeling sorry for myself for a long time now. Ever since the tribunal, really. I've got to let that go. I've been so unfair to you, so - " his voice caught, and he ran his hand through his hair in frustration. Crowley had also been right; the Demon was making him stupid. He couldn't even form a complete sentence any more. He tried again. "I have to make it up to you, Gail. I have to - " his voice broke again. He looked at her hand. "Can I please take your hand, Gail? Please?"

She sighed. He was doing it to her again. Making her feel sorry for him. She could tell he was sincere, but Gail was getting a little fed up with his mood swings. When was SHE going to be allowed to have mood swings? It was really easy for him, wasn't it, traipsing around Europe and waiting for her to show up with a report on another ingredient that she had obtained, or for a booty call, or both. Meanwhile, Gail was the one who had been going through the pain of what Cas had been doing to her and weathering the anger and the stares of disapproval from Sam and Dean, and their other friends who knew what was going on. And from her own brother. That had hurt the most.

"No," she snapped at Cas, folding her arms. "Just say what you want to say, so Chuck and I can leave."

Cas was looking at her sadly, and now Chuck weighed in. "Let him take your hand, Gail, for God's sake."

She glared lasers at him. Et tu, Chuck? A second ago, he'd been on her side, confronting Cas on her behalf. Now Chuck was feeling sorry for him, and she was the bad guy. She sighed again. She didn't know why Cas was feeling sorry for himself, anyway; he was the luckiest Demon bastard in the world, as far as she was concerned.

Gail held out her hand for Cas to take, and as soon as he took it, Cas found himself able to say what he needed to say. "If you and Chuck can intervene on my behalf, yet again - " he gave Gail a wry smile, " - I'll come to the bunker and meet with Bobby, to see if we can work something out with Jason. We'll tell Jason he can stay in Purgatory, if he can help me get the vampire fang, and give me his tears. Then I'll use the exit that Dean and I used, to come back here and deliver both things to you. I can also help with Aurielle's tears, if you want. I want the cure, Gail. I really do. The Demon is the one who doesn't, but I'm going to try my best to make sure he doesn't get his wish."

Gail considered this. It was really the most she could ask for, at this point. She still didn't like the idea of Cas and Jason together in Purgatory, though. They hated each other, and they would both have weapons, out of necessity. What was to prevent Jason from killing Cas while his back was turned? She asked Cas this now.

Castiel smiled, gently squeezing her hand. "Well, as Chuck so aptly pointed out, I'm a 'Demon bastard' now. This may be the only occasion I can think of where that would be a good thing. Jason will not be killing me there. I have too much to come back for."

He was making Gail nuts now. If she didn't know better, she'd swear that the Pope had performed an exorcism on him. She looked at Chuck helplessly, hoping that he wouldn't think she was the bitch here. Was this the Demon putting on an Oscar-winning performance, or was it really Castiel talking? Chuck raised an eyebrow to her. He didn't know, either.

"OK, Cas. We'll talk to Bobby in the morning. Sam and Dean, too," Gail told Cas. "If Bobby's willing, we'll call you and invite you over, and then Bobby can bring Jason down. Then we'll see if we can do a deal." Gail smiled to herself. If she could just figure out a way to get Crowley involved, they'd probably get Jason to agree to just about anything. But she'd better keep her mouth shut about that. She seemed to be the only one who no longer felt revulsion at the mere mention of Crowley's name.

Cas grabbed her other hand, and he held both of her hands in both of his. "Thank you. I won't let any of you down. I promise," he said.

Gail looked into his eyes. She thought he was sincere, but she had been fooled before. But if he was willing to return to the bunker, with all of those good guys around, she would give him a chance to prove his sincerity. And once he was in Purgatory, she would just have to trust that he could handle himself long enough to stay alive, and to get what they needed. He might be fighting the Demon within himself now, but if he let it out there, Gail was pretty sure he would come out the victor of any battle.

She let go of Cas's hands and looked at Chuck. It was time to go. "Come on, Chuck, let's go," she said to him. She stood, and Cas stood at the same time. "We'll wait for the guys to wake up in the bunker. Maybe we'll even wait an hour or so and then wake them up. They may want to roll out the red carpet for our special guest. Or, get out the poison," she joked grimly. Yeah, this was going to go over big with the brothers, all right. Jason, sitting in the bunker. They'd probably want to disinfect the chair afterwards. Gail wasn't too wild about the idea of sitting down at the table with Jason either. But, what the hell. She had done a lot worse in her quest for the cure.

Chuck and Cas both smiled at her comment about the poison. If they didn't need something from him, Castiel would be happy to pour some poison down Jason's throat. Then he'd wait for Jason to swallow it, and then he would pour some more down there, just for good measure. Castiel hadn't forgotten Jason's role in his current predicament, and that would seem like poetic justice to him. And he still owed Jason some payback for all those times that Jason had hurt and tortured Gail. He had been interrupted during his torture of Jason at the cabin, and he hadn't been able to do nearly as much as he'd wanted to do to Jason at the prison. And Cas didn't like to be interrupted. Even then, Metatron's cocktail had been running through his veins, and he felt as though he and Jason had some unfinished business. Castiel was making no promises that Jason would survive their little excursion. Once Castiel had gotten what he needed from his old compatriot, Jason was expendable.

Cas looked at Gail. "So, you'll call me in a few hours, then?"

"Yep," Gail answered.

Cas smiled. "Is it all right if I say goodbye to you in our customary way?"

Gail thought for a moment. "Yeah, OK, Cas."

Cas turned to look at Chuck. "Can you avert your eyes for a minute?"

Chuck smirked. "Why, what are you going to do in one minute?"

Gail couldn't help but smile. He wouldn't believe the things the two of them could do in one minute. Then she remembered Chuck's confession to her. Yeah, he probably would.

"OK, but if I hear the sound of clothes coming off, I'm turning back around," Chuck quipped, turning his back on the couple.

He would have to go and say that. Now that was all that Gail could think about. Cas put his arms around her and kissed her, and she opened her mouth to receive his tongue. His arms tightened around her, and Gail moved closer to him. Cas's hands slipped under her top and he caressed her bare skin. He sighed, wishing Chuck weren't here.

"We could send Chuck back to the bunker for a moment," Cas said softly in her ear, smiling. Then he gave her ear a couple of licks.

Gail shivered. Despite how angry she'd been at him, now she wanted to do just that.

"Guys? Guys!" Chuck said. He turned back around and saw them kissing, and Cas's hands moving underneath her top. Chuck smiled. "Do you guys want me to go back to the bunker alone?" Chuck half-joked.

"Could you?" Cas said, continuing to caress Gail.

"Gail?" Chuck said. It had really been her who he was asking, anyway.

She looked up at Cas. Should she take the chance? But if he was willing to go into Purgatory with Jason, didn't he deserve some kind of send-off? Yeah, it was easy to rationalize, when you really wanted something.

"I'll tell you what, Chuck," she said, staring at Cas's eyes. They weren't dark at the moment, just sparkling. Oh, what the hell. "I'll be there in an hour."

"If you're not, I'm coming back to get you," Chuck told her. "Are we clear, Cas?" Chuck understood them better than most, but that didn't mean he couldn't set limits. If anything bad happened to Gail, Chuck would be responsible. But he had an open mind, and he was thinking the same thing Gail was: If they were going to send Cas into Purgatory, he might as well get a little action before he went. He'd be seeing plenty of action once he got there, and not the good kind.

Cas glanced at Chuck. "We're clear, Chuck. I'll send her, don't worry."

"See you in an hour, Chuck," Gail said. She was kissing Cas's neck now, and Cas was smiling.

Chuck shook his head slowly. Must be nice. He winked himself back to the bunker.

Gail unzipped Cas's pants and started to stroke him. She couldn't believe she was actually doing this. Hadn't she just promised Dean, and herself, that she wouldn't be here alone with him like this anymore? But he was her Cas right now, she was sure of it, and she wanted to make love to the right guy for a change.

He reached for her, but she shook her head. "In a minute," she said, smiling. She got down on her knees and took him in her mouth. Cas gasped. He remembered when she'd done this to him in Las Vegas. It had been the most amazing thing he'd ever felt in his life. He closed his eyes and smiled, moving with her. He felt incredible. She was so good to do this for him. He managed to keep the Demon away for the moment. This was just him and Gail now, and he wanted it to be this way all the time.

She was giving him little licks now, barely touching him with her fingertips. Teasing him. "Gail," he said. "Please." She smiled. She knew how good this felt. After another moment, she took him in her mouth again, moving slowly at first, then faster. Cas gasped again. She was amazing. He touched her head, stroking her hair. He told her he loved her, and then he cried out. This was so intense that he never wanted it to end. He shouted out her name and then it was over, all too soon.

Cas pulled her to her feet and kissed her, opening her mouth with his tongue. She gave him hers, and he had her pants open now.

"Lay down for me, please," Cas said between kisses.

Gail laid down on the couch, and Cas took off her pants. Then he gently opened her legs and used his tongue on her. Her body jerked, but by now Cas knew that this was a good thing, so he continued, smiling. "It's so good, Cas," she told him, and he was happy to be making her feel that way. The Demon was crazy for wanting to hurt her, and the Demon had to go. Cas would be glad to take the cure, and when he had, he could love her like this every night, if she wanted.

She moved closer to him now and he sped up his motion, making her cry out his name. She held his head there and he slowed down, but then sped up again. She cried out again, then he repeated the process, and she cried out yet again. This was Cas making her feel this way, not the Demon, and Cas was so happy.

He was so excited that he entered her now, holding her legs up in the air, looking at her face. She was smiling, telling him that she loved him. He pushed forward, feeling the warmth spread through his body. She was incredible. He lay on top of her, kissing her on the mouth. She was caressing her back and shoulders, and then she touched his face with both hands. "I love you, Cas," she said, looking into his eyes. "This is really you, isn't it?"

"It's me, Gail," he told her. "Finally. It was actually me making you feel that good, not him."

"It was always you, Cas," she replied, and her expression was serious.

"No, it wasn't," he said sadly. "It was the Demon, most of the time."

"Not in my mind," she replied. "In my mind, it was you, every single time. It's you that I love. We have to get rid of him. Then it can be just you and me again. I miss that."

Cas frowned. "He's trying to come back now. But before he does, I need to know: Why do you love me?"

Gail was surprised by his question. "Why? Because," she said simply. "Because I exist. Because every thought I have is about you, all the time."

Cas was agitated. "But I've hurt you so many times. Yet you still haven't given up on me. Why?"

"You can never give up on someone you can't go a minute without thinking about," Gail said.

"I love you so much," Cas told her.

"Ok, turnabout is fair play. So I'll ask you: why? Why do YOU love ME?" Gail said, thinking of her conversation with Chuck. Boy, did Chuck ever have her figured out. And earlier tonight, Chuck had also told Cas that he knew that Cas thought he was not good enough to be loved, either. They had both confessed to such things while playing Lucifer's little game, but she hadn't been sure how much of that had been heat-of-the-moment and how much had been real. And she had never talked to Cas about it, because she knew that most of the time she would be talking to the Demon.

Cas knew that, too. They would have to talk about many things once the Demon was gone; and not just with each other, but with everyone. He'd badly damaged all of his relationships now, perhaps irrevocably. He knew how Dean, Sam and Bobby felt about him now. And Frank? He would never be able to get along with Gail's brother now, because Frank would never be able to trust him, even once he had been cured. Chuck was the only one who still seemed to be able to be cordial with him. Maybe Chuck could relate to him more because Chuck had once been a bad guy, too. Out of all the people Gail could have brought here with her tonight, Cas was glad it had been Chuck.

But they were alone now, and she had asked him the same question that he had asked of her. "Why do I love you?" Cas repeated. Then he smiled. He now understood how hard it was to answer that question. How could you put it into words? He thought she had done very well in that regard, but he wanted to do better. "Because I exist." He echoed her words back to her. "Because you're you. Because there are so many things about you to love. Because I can't stand being apart from you, not even for one minute," he continued. "All of that, and so much more."

Gail smiled. He really meant it. She still couldn't believe it, but she could tell that he was sincere. "All of the things you just said are exactly how I feel about you," she told him, kissing him softly on the lips.

"We've been spending so much time feeling badly about ourselves that we've almost forgotten how to feel good about each other," Cas said, his smile turning sad.

"You're right," Gail agreed. "And we'll have to talk about all of that when this thing is over. But right now, what do you say we feel good just one more time? Then I have to go before Chuck comes back, looking for me."

Cas rose and extended his hand to her. "Let's go to the bedroom."

He laid her down on the bed and began to kiss her all over. "You're healing," Cas said to her. "I'm glad. I'm not going to let him hurt you like that again."

Gail smiled down at him. He was licking her belly button now, and it tickled, but it felt good, too. So did everything he did to her, when it was done with love. She appreciated what Cas had said, but Gail doubted he'd be able to follow through on his promise, good intentions aside. But she didn't want to spoil the moment by saying so.

She reached down for him, but Cas shook his head. "No, Gail," he said. "This last time is just for you. I want to carry this memory with me when I go into Purgatory."

Why did he have to go and say that? Now she really began to regret having gone along with the idea. What if things went wrong there? "Promise me you'll come back," Gail said to him.

He was kissing and licking her thighs now, and he stopped for a moment, looking up at her. "I promise you I'll come back, and I'll have what we need when I do," he said. "You and I have never broken a promise to each other, and I won't start now."

Gail nodded. That was true. It was the Demon who did that, not Cas.

He caressed her thighs and she opened her legs to him. He lowered his head and teased her with his tongue. Gail whimpered at the sensation. "Cas," she sighed. He smiled, but he wasn't going to make her plead. That was the Demon's way. Cas just wanted to love her, and to leave her with the memory of him loving her like this just in case things went wrong in Purgatory. He had every intention of succeeding, but in a place like that, there were no guarantees. He only knew that he was going to do this for them and their future or die trying.

He made love to her with his lips and with his tongue, and she was telling him how much she loved him. It was strange; the Demon kept insisting that she say it, making her beg, doing terrible things to her and demanding her to say that she liked them. They would be talking about that, too. He wanted to know what she truly liked, and what she truly didn't, and whatever she said, he would abide by. He didn't care what it would be; it was all good. She was saying that she loved him now because she wanted to, not because he was forcing her to. It was still inexplicable to him, but apparently, she really did love him for some reason. He would spend the rest of his days trying to make her happy, both in this room and outside of it, if she'd let him. He had a lot of making up to do.

Gail was giving herself over to the feeling now, crying out loudly. Cas was really making love to her, using his tongue on her to make her feel incredible. This was beyond anything she had ever felt from him before. He was putting all the love he had for her into what he was doing, and she could feel it. Wave after wave of pleasure was washing over her, and she lost her words because it was so good. Cas was smiling. Just when it seemed like she was going to calm down, she continued, and she said his name, holding his head and crying out again. And still he continued. He was killing her. He had to stop. She never wanted him to stop.

Finally, she was truly done, and he came up to lie beside her. "I could just do that all day long," he told her, smiling gently.

"I could let you," she breathed, answering his smile.

She could see that he was excited again, and she reached for him, but he stopped her. "No, Gail," he said, his smile fading. "The Demon is coming back, and he wants you to lay on your stomach."

"I don't mind doing that, Cas," she said to him.

"We'll talk about that, after all this is over," Cas told her. "If that's something that we both decide we want to do, fine. But he's not going to get the chance to hurt you again, Gail. I told you that, and I meant it."

He kissed her on the forehead and then got off the bed. He went to the living room and got her clothes, bringing them to her.

"I really don't want you to, but you'd better go," he said, smiling sadly. "I'll look forward to receiving my invitation to the bunker." His eyes started to darken. "I can't wait to see my old friend Jason."

Gail saw his eyes change, and his expression was darkening now, too. His smile became sardonic, and Gail could see in his face that the Demon was coming back. She got out of bed and dressed hurriedly, before he had the thought to grab her. This version of Cas would hurt her, she knew. She had the ability to tell the difference now, and she didn't want to deal with the Demon. She was afraid of him. And worse still, she was afraid of herself, because she kind of did want to lie on her stomach for him.

"We'll call you soon," Gail said, and she winked out of the apartment.