Chapter 45

Brian

Will We Survive

"We're all set!" Gordon says with a smile. "Can't believe we got out of the meeting before everyone else. They are going to want to talk to you so I'll watch for those we saw in the meeting." He grins, "You know on our hit list." Then he chuckles. "You will be a wonderful distraction."

"Okay, I take this side you go to the other." Brian shakes his head, "Distraction. Not sure how we are going to do this after the next meeting this morning." He is feeling nervous, they must try to warn or assist those that look like they have come out of bonding.

"We're lucky we don't have to leave until after the next meeting. We'll do it. " Gordon says although his look says he's unsure as well. Then he raises a brow for a moment, "I will monitor the meeting and collect names of those we are interested in conducting an interview with to see what they think of the speech."

He shrugs always best to be as deceptive as possible. If anyone is listening they will believe that he and Gordon just want to ensure that the speech was working to bring unity to the Corp, Except for ranking officers who will only care that devotion is totally to the Regime. Acting has apparently entered his life in a big way. Want to survive then look the part no matter what.

Brian watches as several individuals walk past them. Many stop and compliment him on his speech and that unity and solidarity means a great deal to them as well. He in response reminds them quietly that no matter how they feel about certain things that total devotion to the Regime is very important to them and to act as expected, always embrace unity and do as requested, but most importantly that they be there for one another. As he speaks to the different individuals his hope is that he is saying just the right thing to each group that stops to speak to him. This is very important as one individual may be very much devoted to the Regime and another group or individual in that group may be feeling the confusion.

Looking up he can see Gordon stopping someone who they saw acting oddly in the meeting. Hard to be sure in the darkened room that they have noted the correct person they thought may be affected and there are going to be other individuals they didn't see acting differently in the meeting. All they can do is hope to reach out to as many as possible, then they in turn watch and assist others as fellow Youth Corp members experience this confusion. He looks up again to Gordon and for a moment it seems like the individual wants nothing to do with Gordon. However, something is said and Brian can see that things must be going well now. Inwardly, he is taking a deep breath to relieve the moment of tension. He wishes he could do more to speak to those who seem confused and assist them. However, he is happy that the speech went over better than he thought it would. There is still some fear that many of the Corp misunderstood the message, but from the reaction one thing is clear the Youth Corp is in solidarity to one another first and foremost.

The crowd is thinning, which likely means they may leave soon. He smiles over to Gordon who has stopped another individual on their list. More Corp members stop and tell him how they will never forget to stay loyal to the Youth Corp. One of them says, 'Loyalty is loyalty to the Regime.' It is almost like the individual winks, a sign that she totally understood the meeting's real message. Brian asks if he could put her contact on his device so they can speak later. They do this and before she leaves she mentions she understood everything from his first speech, but today's message has clarified everything for her. All he can do is thank her, but he believes she must have gone through the confusion yesterday and somehow managed to get through it without revealing herself. When he turns to Gordon he can see he a third Corp member on their list in a deep conversation with Gordon. So far all appears to be going very well.

Finally the crowd thins and Gordon walks over to him. "Looks like the last one is coming out now. Better go," Brian says. Just as they begin to leave he sees Becky looking lost. "You okay?"

"I'm walking too, I am going, I forget." Becky looks at him, "Do I know you?"

He and Gordon look at each other quickly and Gordon who has his device in his hand holds it up, "Do you have your device Becky?" She looks at his for a moment and then looks up and then down to her pouch and pulls out her device. "Do you know how to bring the screen up?" She frowns for a moment, but finally she makes a movement on the device. He has not had to show her how to use it, it is simply taking time for her to connect her memories. "Very good Becky. What we need you to do is. . ." He shows her somethings on her device and suddenly her face lights up. "Got it?"

"I forgot stuff, all of these shadows are about. The shadows are lost in here," Becky points to her head. "So confusing. What is wrong with me, what has happened?" She reads her device, "I better go to the doc. . .tor."

"No," Brian exclaims. "Remember who do we truly trust?"

She stands straight and looks him in the eye giving a fierce look. "We are Youth Corp, we trust only us."

He can't help the smile that comes to him for a moment. "Very good, I promise that in a little while those shadows will all make sense. For me it was boxes, but it didn't take long to put them back in place. In about twenty minutes or so you will put the most needed shadows where they belong, but for now look at your device. Pretend to be just as you always were. I know, you have no idea what you were like, but look around you. I promise each minute brings something back and in a couple of hours you may be confused, but it will be much better. Inside you there is some lie that you keep, a lie to protect yourself. Hopefully, you won't need to use it. Do not betray yourself or they will put you back in the bonding room. If you remember the bonding, it. . ."

"NEVER! Go back," Her eyes have a wild look as Gordon shakes his head and puts a finger to his lips to remind her to lower her voice.

Both Brian and Gordon look at one another. Brian takes a deep breath, "Funny how that memory isn't going away. Don't worry Becky do as you always have. Your device will help you. I wish Gordon and I could go with you to do your assignments, but we can't. I swear, it will get better in a few hours. Is she free to go to her room," He looks towards Gordon who nods. "Becky let us take you there. You go in there and we'll ensure your timer is set to go off. You follow the directions on your device to where you need to go. It will be on your schedule. If you feel lost, make an excuse and if needed that secret lie I know you have to protect yourself."

They begin to walk to her room with her standing between them. Gordon sets her device and asks her questions and goes over her schedule. It doesn't take long and she is back to her room. She shakes her head, "What is happening?"

Brian gives her a sad smile, "We will talk later. I don't know what to say for now, but we must protect ourselves. Always act as you have done before and if you don't remember then copy the demeanor of the other Youth Corp members near you, do as commanded, never disobey any command no matter how harsh. For now go eat and relax, some of the shadows will reconnect and it will be easier. Just confusing right now. Again unity and appearing as completely devoted the Regime. Do you understand?"

She nods and Gordon places a hand on her shoulder and quietly says, "If you see others that are disoriented. Tell them not to betray their confusion. You will do this, yes?"

"Trust me, absolutely. No, one will do that bonding to me again and I don't want someone to unintentionally let the authorities know." Becky snaps, then nods to them and goes into her room.

Both he and Gordon shake their heads, "I sure hope that this works. They have to think we are totally devoted no matter what." Brian shakes his head again, "Her confusion is far worse than mine was. Feel for her. I have to tell you about how it went with Daniel last night."

"Yeah, I would like to hear about that. I need to go take a breath before we leave for the next meeting and then down there." Gordon points to the floor, "Can't believe the promotion you got so quickly. That's huge and a lot of responsibility with the way things are. Still really happy for you. Funny that Daniel is to be your second, I guess he's headed for more as well. Talk about things moving on, ah. . . fast mode." They both laugh as they walk to Brian's room

Brian tells Gordon all about how his evening with Daniel had been and the meeting with Steven, Victor and of course Diana. There is a long moment as he thinks of Diana, "She is amazing."

Gordon gives him an odd look as he asks, "You mean scary, don't you?"

"No, I don't," Brian says as they enter his room. "Kelly! You here?" He walks into their small bathroom and comes out. "I just wanted to verify he is still working."

"Now that is one underestimated programmer. Can't believe they don't know how smart he is." Gordon says.

"For some reason he likes that. Just the way he is." Brian frowns, "She is not scary."

Gordon levels a hard glance towards his friend. "Yes, she is and you need to get over that childish love idea in your head. Trust me, she'll take you apart with no regret."

"Whatever!" Brian snaps.

"I am going to bring up the meeting and note some of those that look a bit dazed so too speak. You mentioned you had to do something, will it take long?" Gordon asks as Brian turns on his computer for him.

Now comes the challenge. Gailey wants him and a few others to come to the dream world. He had promised Gailey last night they could go over how everyone was reacting to the speech. "Ah, Gordon." He looks to his friend and then to the floor and back up again. "Let me ask you. If you had a weird thing to say, like. . .ah, rocks dress funny. Ah, could you give me some weird statement like that." He hands his device to Gordon who takes it and lays it in front of him.

"Ah, okay." Gordon gives his friend an odd look before speaking. Then with a shrug, "Butterflies sing. Now tell me what you plan to do with that and why do I have your device."

"I am going to sit here and yet go some place." Brian pauses as he watches Gordon frown. "When I finish with my conversation I will have someone send you a message. It will be those words. You have my device so I can't send a message to someone. I want you to believe me and this seems to be the way. Now I am going to go there, my eyes may be open. I am not asleep so it may appear like something is wrong. There is nothing wrong. Just monitor the meeting and I will return."

Gordon is frowning, "You're not talking about that death dream are you?"

"No, been awhile since I have had that. Maybe I am through with it. Just be patient." He sits and then takes a deep breath and as he lets it out slowly he finds himself in a hazy place that becomes clearer. He is now in Gailey's dream world and both he and three others are standing there.

"I have been waiting for you, but you are here now, so I take it our superiors do not know that we are now one with the Youth Corp." Gailey says with a pleased look and nods his head to the others, "We have already had a discussion so it will be good to know how it is going on your ship."

"So far, so good. Still a bit nervous we will be found out. There are so many of us and it only takes one to bring us down. However, I have a feeling that my first speech may have given those that are coming out of their mind prison something too. . .ah, they knew to trust only their fellow Youth Corp." He smiles, "I believe we have always been one with another; just official now." He is not sure how to phrase his next thought. "Seeing others coming out of the mind corruption cannot please me more. Truly time."

"I like that, mind corruption. Yes, leaving the prison; again a nice way to phrase that." Gailey is smiling and has a glow to him that truly shows his happiness in not only his ability to be more of himself, but others in the Youth Corp. "The freedom I feel even if I must still look and act as expected is something we must embrace. I do know that the bonding did not work on me as it did on any of you, but inside I felt the same sadness or confusion as you. I watched those around me acting different each time they had the bonding, I am hopeful that all of my friends will have a chance for mind freedom, the right to be ourselves that the Regime thought they took from us." Gailey still looks very pleased, but focused. "Anyway I am hearing the speech went over very well. I spoke to one individual who told me it was due to the three previous speeches you had given and the two speeches that Alfred had also given in the morning meetings. He felt those speeches had already prepared him for when the confusion came yesterday. I am getting the same info back from others who were noting individuals from their morning meetings. Our message of unity and solidarity to each other and not to the Regime means do not let anyone outside of Youth Corp know how and what you are truly feeling. This occurrence, I almost feel like we have been preparing for it since the first bonding experience."

A few others tell of some of their experiences, worries and ideas on how to deal with certain issues are brought up in the discussion.

"I agree things seem okay for now." Brian tilts his head for a moment, " I did have one individual though that was thinking of going to a doctor due to their confusion. This worries me, it only takes one to give us away. Has anyone else had a similar experience? I was able to stop her from doing that and her devotion to the Youth Corp overcame her confusion. I want to protect all of us, even those that don't come out of it. This mind corruption was nothing they or we asked for."

Gailey has taken on a very serious tone. "It worries me as well, we can only hope that they are caught by a Corp member and warned before they do something like that. Right now there are very few to keep watch for others who may be reacting in a very confused fashion. Something not just a ranking officer may see, but crew. I was lucky, but I know most of you felt some confusion yourself. It appears this confusion is not lasting long, but timing can be deadly. We can only hope that the universe is with us." Gailey shrugs, "Try as best as you can, otherwise if caught it will be bonding once again and it will be more towards conversion. If not that arrest, questioning and maybe execution."

All agree they are there to protect each other even those that may never come out of the bonding. Brian knows he needs to get back to Gordon. He has forgotten when Kelly's shift ends, which is not a surprise as Kelly's shift has been changing nearly everyday. Leaving Gordon to fend off possible questions from Kelly is not a good idea. Now is not the time for Kelly to know that he is leaving his mind prison behind. He looks to Gailey, "If there is nothing else, I need to await the end of the second Youth Corp meeting to find and warn those that may experiencing the confusion."

Two others agree that they also must go back as well to do the same. Gailey nods to each of them, "You are all doing a good job and we will speak again. Remember to stay in communication with those on your list, this truly is the best way for us to not be monitored." He turns to Brian as the others begin to literally disappear. "Alfred knows to begin the process of manipulating his supervisor to allow him to give another speech." Then Gailey smiles, "What was that sunflower about. It is the same flower from the meeting where we realized our minds had been corrupted."

Brian smiles, even Gordon wanted to know why he wanted the flower placed at the end of the visual. "My reasoning is that this visual embraces for me that it is the flower of freedom from the Regime. It was given to us by the Regime." He finds himself smiling and then he frowns, "If those in Avena wanted us out of this, why don't they have a way to save us. Again it takes only one to give us away."

Gailey bites his lip for a moment, "I know. They really were not prepared for this to happen. I would love to know why this happened now as well; especially since those on Avena did not do this. Was it a glitch? I don't know." His smile returns, "I will tell you one thing."

Brian waits for the one thing to be told and then he frowns and with a disappointed look he can only ask what makes Gailey happy.

"Because Bri'Lar; we are doing this. Not someone else on another planet with plans for using us for whatever. We are learning to do what we need to do. We may fail, but more importantly we have the chance to become us on our own terms. Had this happened as they had planned, then we would likely be following their path. This way, it is on us to define who we are and not them. I know it is likely some group on Avena who may want desperately to have that planet separated from the Regime and want to use us. Still I am happy they did it and it may be that we will support it gladly with our last breath." Gailey pauses for a moment, "You better go. Reach out to those on your list."

"Wait can you do me a favor?" Brian watches as Gailey shrugs, "I would like you to reach out to Gordon with a message about the singing butterflies. Please do it immediately. I am afraid he thinks I am having a dream. I want him to know as weird as this is it is not a dream."

Gailey rubs his forehead for a moment, "Singing butterflies. Really this is what you want me to say." Brian nods his head to him. "Does he know that this is not something that we will always be able to do, this is not a forever gift so to speak."

"We will talk it over after he believes me." Brian smiles, "Thank you." Then he takes a deep breath and finds himself sitting on his bed. "Gordon is all well so far?"

"Yeah, you okay over there?"

"Yes, I hope I was not gone long. Hard to tell when you are speaking to people in your mind, but not in your mind. I don't know what to call it, very strange way to speak to people. Anyway it appears that all is going well on the other ships and all is working as we expected."

Gordon speaks gruffly, "I do not know about your dream world, go and chat with people in my head nonsense. Trust me you are stresssssed. Got it!" He turns back to the visual.

"Just remember singing butterflies." Brian shrugs as he gets up and looks at the visual of the meeting. "How is it going?"

"Okay," Gordon gives him a puzzled look for a moment and then motions to the visual. "Got a few names for us to check. Most likely everyone will speak to you, but that will allow me to hopefully target the ones on my list and catch others who have that confused look." Then Gordon's device goes off, he picks it up and finds a message. Suddenly he stands and is just inches from Brian, "WHAT! It's Gailey, he is asking me if I had heard of any myths about singing butterflies on Earth. How, how did he know about the butterfly thing?"

"I told him in our conversation we just had." Brian then backs away from Gordon, "I told you it is for real. I think when I went to school at the temple that I was selected due to some ability. They used this ability and trained me to do this conversation in a dream world. I am calling it a dream world. They then got us to forget that we could do it. Then one day there it is, I had the death dream that morning and then after the morning meeting the dream world came to me. At first it was Angeis'Ark; you remember her don't you." Gordon shakes his head that he doesn't. "That's okay, but you do know Gailey. He has this gift or training as well. Today I told him I would tell you about the dream place and having a code word was the only way." He then smiles and finds he has been holding his breath. "It's great, I can have secret conversations with others on our ships here and on Avena. Unfortunately, we know it won't remain. "

"I believe you. I actually believe you." Gordon reaches out and grabs Brian by the shoulders and shakes him, "How many. We need to do this! No, one knowing what is happening. Do you know how great this is? We can put real plans into action."

Brian again backs away, "They have found that the brain apparently finds this wrong and it fixes itself so we can't use it always. We must be careful how often we do it. As far as how many. There is at least one on each ship, but a few do have two. However, that is all." He finds himself frowning for a moment. "We don't have any plans. I mean, the Youth Corp we may be wearing uniforms, but most of us are never going to be hardcore soldiers. We'll fight, but you know.. ."

"There is no plan currently. First, we get the Corp out of the confusion, then we plan." Gordon is smiling broadly, "I wonder if you are able to do this even if it is temporary from your mother."

"My mother and my grandmother both could do Future Dream. A gift that only women have." Brian shrugs. "Again this is just temporary and is not a true gift. My mother had to hide her ability due to the fact the Regime would have taken her. Taken her for being able to do just that for the Great One." The Leader would have taken his mother for her binal organ, an organ the Great One thought gave supernatural abilities. "Sorry, can't believe the things I supported and now I have to make decisions on what I think is right and those I think are wrong and yet be mindful to do whatever I am commanded to do no matter how disgusting I find it."

"Yeah, do it with a look of true dedication." Gordon snarls, but then sighs. "Guess we are on our way to being great actors. Still I think our unity speeches have prepared us to do this. By accident you and others have been leading the way without even knowing you were."

There is something to what Gailey and now Gordon has said. He has always had a real need for solidarity for the Youth Corp. He finds himself frowning, was this something that while in the temple the priests taught him. Done for some future plan that is coming against the Regime. What could these individuals want of the Youth Corp? Unity has always meant a great deal to him; he has acknowledged his need for everyone to work together since he was a child. Maybe it is something that was reinforced not just by the priests, but his parents as well.

"You okay?" Gordon asks looking at him intently.

"Yeah. . ." He stops for a moment again questioning if the whole time since a child that maybe there were two paths being prepared for not only him, but for all of Youth Corp. The Regime put him on a path of total dedication to the Great One. However, another plan starting with his mother, father and the priests. A plan they are yet to learn what the goal is and if he even wants to be a part of that plan. He remembers how his mother was very adamant that he go to school at the temple and at the time it was only girls that went to school there. He also remembers his father had made odd comments and had told him it was very important that he learn to take control when needed and do it in a way that others would follow. He had thought this was meant for his involvement with the Regime, but now his father's last words to remember Avena have come back to him. He has been told that his home is not his home world, it is Avena. Is the plan to go to Avena? Is this not deserting his home world? Leaving people to die by starvation, thirst or the Regime. However, if Avena is home then he is supporting something his parents wanted for him when he was a child. What of his sisters, how can he find out about them. It is a lot to think about and now is not the time. He smiles to Gordon, "We better go down we have our true people that we need to be there for; they need us and we need them."

Gordon nods in agreement and they leave for the meeting, which will be ending in a few minutes. Then Gordon jerks his head and looks at Brian. "If we survive this, I sure can't wait to find out what the next adventure is going to be and if I want to be part of it."

Brian knits his brows together, "Are we ever going to be us?" They look at each other for a moment as the truth is they really don't know and all they can do is just move on to their next task.