Memoirs of a Redheaded Witch

by My Wicked Quill

Ginny Weasley was always overlooked. Always the youngest, Always the smallest, And was never… really given the chance to let her voice be heard. But sometimes the best insight comes from those who were always in the background. Now, it's her time. CHECK OUT THE NEW 2017 edits and chapters!

8. The Potter Pattern

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Entery Six: The Potter Pattern

"He drowns in his dreams,

an exquisite extreme I know,

He's as damned as he seems,

But more heaven than a heart could hold…

He's magic and myth,

As strong as what I believe,
He's tragedy with,

More damage than a soul should see,
But he's so beautiful, he's a beautiful disaster." Beautiful Disaster Kelly Clarkson

You didn't have to know him long to notice a pattern in his life. Just when things were becoming stable and ordinary, something would come up and Harry Potter once again found himself in the midst of the danger and confusion all over again. I had never once really considered the risky actions he performed I just took notice in the fact that he was always a part of these great adventure stories, not realizing what exactly they entailed. But as I got older I found that it wasn't always fun and excitement, it was life threatening. His life, no matter how famous and loved he was, it wasn't what he deserved.

My first glimpse, of course, was down in the chamber. But I was the damsel in distress, it wouldn't be until later, that I really had a first-hand experience with these so called, "adventures". Nightmares, more like.

But now, Sirius Black was in the castle hunting him down and the danger was vehemently upon us, upon him.

The students were shoveled off to the Great Hall along with the Ravenclaws, Hufflepuffs and to most of our displeasure, the Slytherins; supplied with rather lavish purple sleeping bags, we were all to stay within the confines of the magically guarded Great Hall under the watchful eyes of the Head Girl and the Head Boy (Percy –as if he'd let you forget it) and sleep while the faculty and staff searched the castle for the notoriously dangerous madman, Sirius Black. It was a rather complicated situation, and I knew that there wouldn't be much sleeping going on.

"Let's set up over there," came a whisper from my left.

Hermione, Ron and Harry were already making their way, rather inconspicuously, toward the corner of the room.

"This is rather exciting, isn't it?"

I turned toward the new voice, "Exciting? Luna, aren't you at the least bit anxious?"

My friend stared at me as though considering, "Not really, I guess. If Sirius Black is clever enough to get through the dementors and sneak into the school….then he is smart enough to not stick around once he couldn't get into the Gryffindor common room, don't you think? The walls do talk in this place, everyone knows how the portraits gossip, even Sirius Black."

Her logic, surprisingly, calmed my nerves. It was true what she said, and I considered how clever the man had to be to get all the way to the seventh floor without being detected as I set up my sleeping bag beside hers. "How do you think he got in anyway?" I asked once we were both warm and settled.

"Oh there are a millions ways to get into Hogwarts…the real question is 'which way did he chose?' My bet is the underground tunnels."

"Luna, there aren't any underground tunnels."

"Well, they are supposed to be secret, so you wouldn't know about them, would you?"

I sighed. For a while I laid there consumed in my musings of a man made of smoke, whisping his way through the walls, suffocating anyone who stood in the way of his goal, Harry Potter.

Then, I started to worry about the so called "safety" of the school in general. Voldemort managed to hold a position as a Professor two years before; the previous year, the chamber of secrets was opened by an eleven year old, which threatened the lives of hundreds of children and hospitalized a dozen….and currently…. A murderer was quite possibly running rampage through the halls.

My older brothers never came home for holiday with such dire tales of their schooling; the most explicit stories came from the Quidditch pitch. Was this really what Hogwarts was supposed to be like? Or could there be some coincidence that the moment Harry stepped back into our world… it went bonkers? If only I knew then, that something like Sirius Black tearing up the Fat Lady's portrait would be child's play compared to what Hogwarts was going to witness within and without its walls in the next four years….

"Luna," I asked, coming back to reality, "What exactly do you think is so exciting about all this?" I would never have thought Luna as the adrenaline type.

"Well, it's like a big sleepover. With sleeping bags and sleeping on the floor with a friend, and everything. I've never been to a sleepover before."

The answer was not what I was expecting at all. Then again, it never was the case with Luna. That's what I liked about her so much. She was the most refreshing person I ever knew. I smiled "Me either."

She smiled back. And for a little while, even though the school around us was gossiping and spewing theories and concerns… Luna and I didn't pay much mind. I had had my fill of danger for the day. At that moment, I was having a sleepover with my best friend. Black be damned.

The morning came without any results and an all clear on the grounds. Sirius Black was gone again. He remained, however, the topic of conversation throughout the student body for the following days. Questions on his motives and on his whereabouts as well as exaggerated stories on supposed sightings were very popular with the school population.

"I swear, I saw a glimpse of him today by the lake! He ran into the trees and vanished again!"

"I swear there was someone following me from the third floor corridor last night, it must have been Sirius Black!"

The only people who took the Black situation seriously (no pun intended….okay, maybe a little bit) was those who knew he was hell bent on killing off Harry. Meaning the faculty, and Harry, Ron, Hermione and myself. Life did, however, move on. Classes kept coming and students kept studying, and Quidditch kept being played.

It was during one of these matches that the rain came down so thick I could barely see my hands let alone the players on their brooms. Instead of staying indoors like some of the other first and second years, I was out there cheering on the Gryffindor team with the older, more passionate students.

Ravenclaw was putting up a good fight, and while it was tough to watch the game, the excitement was still gripping the audience.

"I hope no one gets hurt!" Hermione cried over the roar of the wind and the crowd.

I laughed, "It's Quidditch Hermione! Of course someone's going to get hurt!"

"That's an awful thing to say!"

"But it's the truth! The players know what they are getting themselves into, it's a brutal game!"

"If you know so much about Quidditch, why don't you go on up there then? I'm sure you'd love to play in these conditions!"

"I'll be up there someday, I promise, and I'd play in any condition."

Hermione shook her head and shielded her eyes from the rain, "I can't even tell who is who!"

"As long as you can tell who is red and who is blue, nothing else matters- WOO!" I cried as Gryffindor made a score.

"Who's that?" yelled Hermione, pointing out a player who was ascending into the sky at an impressive pace.

Putting two and two together was simple.

"It's Harry," I informed her.

She rewarded me with a skeptical, but concerned look, "How do you figure?"

"Well, the only reason someone would be up that high would be to follow the snitch. And since that player is wearing read, and is a seeker…."

We watched as Harry disappeared into the clouds.

"Did you see that?" Cried a hyped Ron from Hermione's other side; he'd been enthusiastically enjoying the game with his roommates named Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas. "Harry's just crossed the pitch boundaries!"

It really was all exciting in that moment. We all expected Harry to emerge from the storm, the snitch tight in hand, as well as and a victory for Gryffindor. That would have been… amazing.

And then suddenly: there was a crack in the sky, a hole in the clouds, in which a form fell through. Harry was free falling…off his broom. Falling over one hundred feet, he became clearer and clearer to the crowd, as he fell closer, and it was obvious that he was completely unconscious.

He was just falling, helpless, lifeless, as though he was already dead. When he fell, my heart fell with him. Hermione gasped at my side, shocked into immobility. Harry had been doing so beautifully, playing the game with determination and swiftness. He fell as fast as the rain drops.

Thankfully, Dumbledore stopped him before he met the ground fatally. His body slowed to a drift and it was Dumbledore who had cast the spell to catch his body.

People were screaming but I hadn't heard them until Dumbledore caught Harry, my world had just ignored everything around me and focused on him. I breathed a sigh of relief, and turned to find that Ron and Hermione had vanished from my side. I wanted to go with them, knowing they would be going to see if he was alright, but when I turned they were gone. I was alone… and I was wet. I grudgingly made my way back up to the castle not caring to see if that damned Cedric Diggory won the match.

Dementors. As if Harry didn't have enough to worry about at the time, the dementors monitoring the school affected Harry worse than anyone else. I heard all this when I entered the castle and McGonagall was yelling up a storm about how they shouldn't even had been on the pitch to start with. The dementor had reached Harry up in the clouds where no one could see, rendering him unconscious. Just like that day on the train.

The dementors had just turned deadly.

I spent that whole night, (I know, I know.) making a (Merlin, what got into me I had no idea.) singing get well card.

Yes it sang.

Yes I gave it to him.

"I think it looks great!"

"You really think he'll like it?"

"Of course, but then, I don't know him. So, I could be wrong. Maybe he doesn't like anything. I wouldn't know. I know I like it."

I laughed, "Thanks, Luna."

We were in the library, far from the nut case that was Madam Pince. I felt pretty confident about the card, and was just showing Luna the finishing touches.

"It truly was awful, seeing him fall."

"Yes, it was. Why do you think these things happen to him Luna?"

I closed the finished product and turned to my friend. She sighed, "I don't know, maybe it's his scar."

"His scar? As in, everyone is after him- these things happen because he's the Harry Potter?"

"Well yes…in a way, I think it's more that his scar has some magical power, some kind of curse or something that draws danger towards him…like a magnet!"

She thought, his scar…

"His scar is magical?"

"We're magical aren't we? Why couldn't the parts of us, like a scar, be magical too?"

I thought she was insane. I loved her, but, I really thought she was insane. As an older woman now, knowing things even most full aged wizards wouldn't dream of, I see that she was spot on. But you're going to have to wait.

The following day I wasn't there when he awoke but I made myself find time to get up to the hospital wing to wish him well and present him with the card. If I said I was nervous that would have been an understatement.

I walked up to his bed and realized we were completely alone. He looked so tired and worn out, I almost told him I'd come back later, but he told me not to worry and I knew if I backed out I wouldn't have gone back.

I should have backed out.

My hands were shaking but he didn't seem to notice, unless he acted as though he didn't notice. And when he opened it and it began to sing his face almost turned as red as mine. Almost.

"Err… wow, Gin, this is… this is great. Thanks…thanks so much." He smiled up at me. I almost couldn't breathe.

"No- no problem, Harry…I hope you feel better." My voice cracked and shook, but I managed.

I said a quick farewell, and practically ran from the room, but I did hear the singing from the card on my way out.

He had been calling me Gin ever since that moment in the Chamber and he'd been the only one.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Once Harry left the Hospital Wing with a clean bill of health, I knew it was time to get some answers. The dementors were suddenly much more dangerous than they had been before. It was practically a matter of life or death; nothing was ever enough to get Harry off a broom. Not a rouge bludger: he managed to regain balance and STILL caught the snitch. Not even a cursed broom (as I heard the mad Professor Quierrel from Harry first year was to blame) could throw him off: Harry managed to keep a one handed grip as he dangled from the handle.

The dementors had a strong enough effect to not only knock him out, but drop hundreds of feet to his death. This was very, very wrong. It was time to speak with Professor Lupin. This was actually one of my better ideas; he had proven himself to be a smart man, and thanks to Hermione, I also knew he was trustworthy.

I asked my friend for advice on whether I should seek some help from said teacher, and she, with some persuasive coaxing from me, divulged that Harry had in fact already chatted with Lupin regarding the same subject. Not that I would admit to anyone that I knew. it was Harry's personal business after all. But I figured it was my turn for some information, so I returned to the Defense classroom after daily lessons were out.

"Um…Professor Lupin?"

He turned around, startled to see me there. "Oh, Miss. Weasley, what a pleasant surprise. What can I do for you?"

I had no idea how I was going to bring the subject up- I really didn't- it wasn't exactly light and easy conversation. But if he could help Harry, then he could help me too.

"I'm actually not sure how to start, exactly," I said.

Lupin took a seat behind his desk and gestured for me to take the one opposite him.

"Well, I've heard it's usually best to start at the beginning," he replied with a lopsided grin. "Do you per chance need assistance with your schoolwork?"

I shook my head, taking his offered seat, "It has nothing to do with school actually."

"Is there a problem at home, then? I am familiar with your family and I'll do what I can to help."

I was touched by his genuine concern. He really seemed to be interested in what I had to say and it was nice. "No, no, Professor; actually, I was wondering if I could speak with you…about Dementors."

He stared curiously as I sat hoping he wouldn't question me too much. There was a lot that I was not going to be comfortable talking about with someone I only recently met.

"Dementors aren't usually covered until fourth year, Miss. Weasley. Is there a specific reason you are in search of more information than I'm sure you already have?"

I looked down to my hands, "Don't you think it would be prudent for all Hogwarts' students to know as much as they could about a creature that is present in every day of their lives? Especially if they are supposedly protecting the school?"

Lupin's light eyes narrowed, "Supposedly? The dementors are in fact guarding the school-"

"Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what they were doing when they knocked Harry Potter off his broom." It was rather forward of me to imply, but it was out before I could stop it.

Lupin seemed surprised as he raised an eyebrow, "You are much more eloquent than you seem Miss. Weasley."

"Call me Ginny."

"Alright, Ginny." Lupin leaned forward on his desk and crossed his fingers, as he looked straight at me. I felt almost uneasy, until I saw the sadness in his eyes. It was heartbreaking; I didn't know the man, yet, I could tell that he was seriously troubled.

"I saw you on the train," he said. "I do remember your reaction to the dementors, and I must confess, I'm surprised it has taken you this long to come to me."

"What?"

"Many students have approached me about this subject, but it was because they felt sad, and remembered a pet running away, or a grandparent passing, in which case, I explained to them the basics of what a dementor does and request they eat some chocolate if it ever happened again. I assured them that it wouldn't happen on these grounds."

I shook my head, "But I already know the basics about a dementor."

"Precisely."

"Excuse my confusion, Professor, but how did you know I was going up to show up here?"

"Ginny, all those other students had mild experiences with the dementors on the train, they were merely distraught. So this made me positive that two specific students were bound to come to me sooner or later.

"Two…being myself and…?"

"Harry Potter."

Well that made sense, considering what Hermione had told me. Lupin didn't know that I knew however.

"But I'm sure you knew that, and you've come to hear what I told him."

I flushed, or not. "Well, I didn't know what else to do, it seemed you had shed some light for him...and I…how did you figure a connection between the both of us in the first place?"

I asked for the sake of asking; anyone with half a brain could see that Harry and I had the worst episodes.

"You both suffered reactions that were, shall we say, different in their own right- but disturbing none the less."

"Disturbing, Professor?" I asked through a lump of shame in my throat.

"No one so young should be put through such emotional strain. I have something to tell you. After witnessing what I did on the train, I immediately understood the effect on Harry, but not yours. Please excuse my curiosity; I decided to ask Dumbledore about you the moment I could. The events of last year have been kept very confidential- on a need to know basis. Some of it is still a mystery, but Dumbledore entrusted me with the truth."

I blushed, feeling embarrassed and almost betrayed. I knew that I had no right to ask to hide the truth, my actions last year were bound to have consequences. But that didn't mean I had to like the idea of strangers knowing my past.

"Don't feel bad, I pried it out of him and he relented. He decided that it would be beneficial to have me understand what happened to you. At this point only Professor McGonagall knows about the," he dropped his voice a bit, "possession."

I grimaced and looked away at the sound of the word. I didn't even know this man and he knew my deepest darkest secret. And the fact that he would even bring it up! Who did he think it was?

"I'm terribly sorry if I've upset you, Ginny," said Professor Lupin in a soft voice. "But Dumbledore believes as I do, that I could help you."

"Then why didn't you approach me earlier, when you found out? If you are adamant on helping me, then why haven't you said anything?"

He smiled, "Because this was something you needed to do on your own. Admitting you need help, even if it is just wanting information on something that is bothering you, it's the first step."

It took a minute to formulate a coherent response, "So you're going to help me get over what happened in the Chamber?"

"You really should talk to someone about it, and now, you can talk to me."

He was being so genuine- that I could tell. And deep inside I was relieved to hear all of it- that I could get help that someone would listen, someone who already knew what happened and was still willing to help me through it. But, naturally, I was terrified of doing so.

"I came here to talk about Dementors, actually. Not for help, or to talk about the Chamber. I came for information." He was making me feel weak and helpless, and I didn't like it at all.

The Professor stood with a shrug, "Well, whatever it is you think you came here for, you showed maturity and confidence, and for that, I commend you. Not many students have the courage to be straight forward like you've been. Actually, I can only think of one."

I instantly felt bad for being so stand off-ish. "Are you going to tell me how you've been helping Harry?" I asked hopefully.

He walked over and closed the classroom door and I instantly became excited. Opening the window so that fresh light washed over the room, he said, "I've been teaching Harry how to fend off dementors."

My jaw dropped wide open, "You've been teaching him how to fight them?" Now that was impressive.

"It is actually more along the lines of defending himself."

"Can you show me?" I eagerly asked.

Lupin chuckled and returned to his desk, leaning against it, "Nice try, but I'm afraid not."

"But that's not fair!"

"Harry is a year older-"

"Yes, and I suppose he is a boy too!"

"No, Ginny, don't be upset. I'm sure you have just the same amount of magical power as a third year; you are, after all, the seventh child of a pureblood family. But I don't think you need to learn this just yet."

I crossed my arms defiantly, "Oh, and Harry does?"

"Well, considering the dementors seem set on knocking him out, I'd rather teach him than watch him fall another 150 feet."

I winced, disappointed that I had let him make a fair point. "Fine. Then how are you going to help me?"

"Alright first things first, what did you come here to learn?"

"The only thing I know about dementors is that they feed off of people's happiness."

"Essentially, yes," he told me, "dementors manage to suck all the happiness you've ever felt out of you. That is why you feel as though you will never be happy again. As though that sadness is the only thing you will ever feel."

"So why is it so different for different people? Why are some more affected than others?"

Lupin sighed, "Some are cursed with more misfortune and heartache than others. When the dementors start taking someone's happiness, those with have been subjected to more pain and endured more darkness will be more deeply affected."

"So Harry lost consciousness because there's been so much pain in his life, it was too much for him to handle upfront?"

"Yes, not to mention he has been touched by You-Know-Who," he said carefully. I stiffened. "And that evil leaves fingerprints. The Dark Lord is the epitome of everything the dementors make you feel."

I didn't say anything. What could I say? He was basically saying that the dementors could feel the evil inside me.

Professor Lupin kneeled down by my chair and put a hand on my shoulder, "Ginny, sometimes dementors make you relive your worst memories, and I believe this is why you had such a hard time on the train. Did Harry tell you what he heard?"

"He…said he heard…screaming. He thought it was his mum's voice."

Lupin sighed, "It took a while, but I figured that what he heard was his mother the night she was murdered in front of him."

The weight of that piece of information was not lost to me. I couldn't believe he was telling me such personal information, but mainly I felt terrible that Harry had heard what he did. It took me a minute to realize that the tear that had dropped onto my hand was my own.

Somehow, it seemed Professor Lupin knew what I was thinking. "You are not evil," he said, "But you have experienced it. You were touched by You-Know-Who and went through an emotional trauma; whether you admit it or not, you are still sorting through all the baggage. Please tell me what you heard on the train, Ginny, I can help you through this, but you just have to help yourself first."

At the time, I didn't understand how he could even offer to help me. I felt I was a lost cause. I felt that although I could hide the darkness from someone like Bill, Tom would always be there inside my head, and how could I conceal that from my Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher?

"I can't," I whispered.

"Can't, or won't?"

I looked away, nearly crying. I hadn't gone to talk about Tom, and as great as it sounded-

"You heard him, didn't you? You heard Tom Riddle's voice? As though you were back inside the Chamber of Secrets?"

Why was he so pushy? Why couldn't he just teach me how to protect myself like he was teaching Harry?

"You don't have anything to be ashamed of," he continued when I remained silent. "No one is mad at you; I am not going to judge."

"You say that now but-"

"But what?"

I looked right into his eyes. There were old, deep scars on his face, and I briefly wondered what he had been through to get them. I did not know much about Remus Lupin, but he looked much, much older than he really was. It was that moment that I realized Lupin had his own daunting demons, and somehow he was still in one piece- somehow he seemed a good man. It was that moment I started to trust Remus Lupin. The moment I decided that perhaps he really could help me.

But there was a deeper side of me warning me not to say anything...

"My brothers and my parents…they have forgiven me….but they don't know that I-I still hear T-Tom Riddle's voice in my head." The statement the truth shall set you free had never really felt as real as it did right then. A major weight was lifted off my shoulders and a breath of fresh air settled into my chest.

Remus Lupin slowly nodded his head, no doubt assessing and swallowing the information I just told him. "Alright. I want you to come and see me after classes every once in a while, and whenever you need me. We will work this all out, and you will see that opening up helps, it really does. Keeping everything bottled up inside makes you hateful and angry; it won't lead anywhere good.

"Okay," I finally said, "I can do that."

He smiled wildly and it was infectious. "Good. You are going to be okay, you know. You don't have to do everything alone; your brothers aren't here and there is no need for that brave face."

"I just don't want to be thought of as the lost little girl."

"You aren't. You are something special, Ginny Weasley and not even Voldemort can take that away from you."

"You said his name."

"Yes, well, he is dead. I think that is going to be your first step, proving to Tom, as well as yourself, that you cannot be intimidated by him. Say his name."

"I can definitely do that." With a deep breath I got up to leave. "Thank you, Professor."

He smiled, "Of course."

Making my way to the door, Lupin called me once more, "Oh and Ginny?"

I turned, "Yes?"

"Just don't say the name in front of your mum, I am acquainted with her and she might have my head for encouraging you."

If only I had known that in a few years' time, not only would my family be acquainted with Remus Lupin, he'd be part of it.

I went to Lupin's office at least once a week. We had several more chats about the dementors, as did we talk about what Tom was saying in my head. Talking it through was like a way to keep Tom weak and after a while, he wasn't there at all.

Lupin believed that it was my mind who created him to voice my doubts and fears in the most real way possible, while I felt that since he had been inside me, my conscience held onto a piece of his personality. Eventually, we have to compromise and suggest that it was a little bit of both.

I also told him every detail of what happened in the Chamber before Harry arrived. This has been one of the hardest things I ever had to do but it was the most freeing as well; talking to Professor Lupin was the best thing that could've happened to me in my second year at Hogwarts.

But as things were personally looking up for me, the wizarding society was becoming frantic about Sirius Black.

"I need to tell you something very private about Harry."

"Hermione, I have to wonder, will there ever be a point when ANYONE keeps Harry's personal information….I don't know… personal?"

She rolled her eyes, "Oh come on! I need to talk to someone outside them two, and it has to be a girl! Ron makes me insane, and Harry makes me worry too much all the time.

"I call it the Potter Pattern."

She smiled, "Clever."

"Alright," I said with a sigh as I closed my text books, giving up on studying. I had been alone in the library while a few students finished up there evening work around me before dinner, when Hermione came and interrupted me. "Tell me."

"Not here, follow me."

She began to walk to the back of the library and I quickly grabbed my things and followed. "Where are we going?"

"Shh! Wait until we are out of ear shot from the other students."

The information really must have been good.

When we reached the last few book shelves, Hermione began to walk down one of the aisles.

"Hermione?" She turned to face me and watched me warily, "I can handle whatever it is, Hermione."

"I know you can, it's just, this is some disturbing news, and I've tried to help Harry the best I can and…. He's now more determined than ever…"

"Determined to what?"

"To catch Sirius Black."

"Why would he do-" Hermione clasped a hand on my mouth as I had nearly yelled.

"Be quiet! You need to listen to me. Harry might be stubborn and too bold for his age, but he's not exactly reasonless, he has revenge to gain by going after Black."

I nodded slowly, indicating that she should remove her hand. "Vengeance? But Black has been rotting in Azkaban since Harry was a year old, what could Harry possibly hold against Black personally, aside from Black threatening his life, of course."

Hermione lowered her hand slowly and her eyes lost their spark. "That's just it," she sadly said, "It's what he did before he went to Azkaban. The other day Harry met us in Hogsmeade under the Invisibility cloak, and we over heard some information about Black when we passed Professor McGonagall speaking to Madam Rosmerta from the Three Broomsticks. They went inside the pub to finish their conversation and Harry sneaked in behind them and witnessed the entire conversation."

"What did they say?"

"Ginny, it turns out that Sirius Black, was James Potter's best friend."

I nearly lost my footing from the weight of the news. "What?"

Hermione had tears in her eyes, "Sirius and James we inseparable at school, and after graduation."

"Oh my, how…how could Harry's father be friends with a madman?"

"Ginny, you don't know the worst of it."

I blinked, "What else did Harry find out?"

"Sirius Black gave You-Know-Who information on the Potter's whereabouts when they were in hiding during the First Wizarding War."

"Wait, I don't understand- that means-"

"Sirius Black was the one who betrayed Harry's parents to the Dark Lord; he's the reason they are dead."

A new found hatred for a man I had never even met grew in my heart. "The bastard. No wonder Harry wants to catch him-"

"Harry wants to kill him."

My head snapped up and I stared her in the eyes. "Kill him?"

"Ginny, it gets worse."

My heart started pounding, "How could it possibly get worse?"

"Before Black went crazy and killed all those people, before he betrayed the Potter's…when Harry was born, James and Lily named Sirius Black, Harry's Godfather."

It definitely could get worse.

"I think I have to sit down," I said, sinking to the ground.

"I know, it's the worst thing I've ever heard."

It broke my heart. Here we all thought that the only family Harry had left were his terrible aunt and uncle….and surprise, surprise, Harry still had a Godfather.

A Godfather who was intent on ending his life.

The both of us sat in silence for a few moments, "That's all of it, isn't it?" I asked.

"What?"

"That's all you wanted to tell me? There's nothing worse, is there?"

"Could you think of anything worse?"

"No."

Sirius Black was the most horrid human being I'd ever heard of, aside from You-Know-Who.

Suddenly, Hermione stood and began looking through the books on the shelf.

"What are you doing?"

"I almost forgot, I brought you back here for a reason."

"Well, yes, to tell me this news."

"No, we could have gone anywhere else for that, but I needed to come back here for a reason."

"And that would be?"

"I'm looking for the Wizarding Encyclopedia from 1973."

"Why?"

"Well the wizarding world publishes a new encyclopedia of wizarding information each year for new spells, and new terms, events and background information. Magic is always changing, you know."

"Yes, I know that, I was born and raised in this world, Hermione. But why 1973?"

"A few weeks ago, your brother's Fred and George gave Harry a magical object called 'The Marauder's Map.' It's a magical map of the school grounds that shows where every person on the grounds is at any given moment, and their movement. That's how he was able to sneak out and meet us in Hogsmeade."

"You must be joking!"

"I'm not, it's truly incredible magic, but very wrong as well."

I rolled my eyes, only Hermione would bring down such a useful tool. "Come on, Hermione, that thing could help any one of us escape detention every time, not to mention-"

"Not to mention dangerous if it gets into the wrong hands. I've told Harry countless times to turn it in to McGonagall."

"Are you sure you're not a teacher here? You sure sound like one."

Not bothering to give me a look as she continued on her still inexplicable search, she said, "I'll take that as a compliment."

"So then why are you looking for this encyclopedia?"

"How much do we know about the creators of this map? Other than that they call themselves the 'Marauders'? It took sometime but I was able to date the map to see when it was created-"

"You know how to do that?"

"I told you taking Ancient Runes this year would be helpful. Anyway the map was made 20 years ago in 1973."

"That still doesn't explain the need for an encyclopedia."

"What does the word Marauder mean Ginny?"

"Err..um…like a wanderer, a vagabond?"

"Yes. Now what if it meant something different back then? Why would a group of four students call themselves 'wanderers'?"

"Hermione, this is crazy. Who cares what they were called? They probably 'wandered' the castle together so much they made a map."

"There might be some sort of clue."

"What clue?"

"Ginny. Look," she snapped, "I want to find out who these Marauder people were, and whatever else I can about them. It's research, it's digging, and when you start research and digging it's always the best idea to start with simple origins. All the way back to the beginning. Then, I can work my way up, it's what I've always done. We want to find out about these Marauders? We need to see the definition, origin and information for marauder as they saw it back in 1973."

In a silly kind of way it made sense; it was all very thorough, but it was Hermione. I didn't see how a simple definition could shed any light on this mystery. Besides, the whole Marauder thing was playing second to what was really at the front of my mind, the notorious Sirius Black.

"Ah, here it is."

"Hermione, this is a far-fetched waste of time, I'm sure you realize it."

"Shut up, Ginny," she said as she pulled out the practically ancient text and opened it. A puff of dust consumed her face, and I, still on the ground, held back a chuckle. There was no point in discussing it with her anymore, Hermione always did what she thought was the best idea. I watched as she scanned the pages looking for the right term.

What amount of madness could possibly cause a man to turn on his best friend, and make him want to drown in the blood of his own Godson? How could a man just flip a switch and have snapped so drastically? The Potters were known for their brilliance and intelligence, how could it be they never suspected their best friend to be mortally disturbed? Had they truly not noticed it?

"It should be on….this….page," said Hermione's voice in the back of my mind, "Opps!"

Suddenly, a feather light object fell on my head, slid off and landed on the floor, startling me out of my musings.

"Ginny….could you grab whatever it is the fell, it slid out from this page…." I looked up at her to find she was already consumed in her reading. My gaze drifted back to the floor where the mystery object fell; it was a photograph.

I wondered why anyone would stuff an old photograph into the pages of a stuffy old reference book. But when I picked it up and examined it, there were many more vital questions that presented themselves.

I nearly dropped the thing, wanting nothing more than to throw it as far away from me as possible and pretend I'd never seen it, but of course I couldn't, nor wouldn't do that.

The photo was taken at Hogwarts out by the lake and in it was four Gryffindor boys who looked like they were in their fourth of fifth year. But an old photograph of four friends from 1973 was not a cause for panic, but it was recognizing the boys that was utterly terrifying.

On the left was the easiest one, James Potter. I'd seen tons of photos of Harry's father, but they were usually with Lily or baby Harry, never had I seen a picture of him with his apparent best friend, according to Hermione, Sirius Black. I knew it was him, a much younger cleaner looking picture, but it was definitely him. With their arms around each others shoulders, and broad, wide grins etched upon their faces, there was no hint of the evil that would touch their lives. It made me sick.

There was another boy, shorter and chubbier with a rat-like face, that I had no inkling of a clue as to his identity. Then my eyes fell upon the last boy on the right side of Black, clutching what seemed to be a text book, and a contented smile, almost as broad as the other boys. That's when I panicked. It was the deeply haunted, troubled eyes that caught my attention.

I knew those eyes.

"Ginny?"

I jumped, "Yes?"

"What was it that fell?"

I looked up to see she was still reading. Not five seconds had passed.

"Um…"

I had to be careful about this, if I showed her, she would tell Harry, and things would get complicated, heated and it could lead to hurt. Then again, maybe Hermione would know what to do, besides, this was exactly the kind of clue she was looking for. I could hardly believe something like this would just fall into my lap.

Would it be like betraying her? If I didn't show it?

It's not like they don't keep plenty of secrets, and in all honesty, I needed to hear the explanation for myself.

"Nothing, just a black piece of paper someone was probably using as a book mark," I replied coolly, slipping the photo into my bag. "What did you find?" I jumped up and peered over her shoulder.

"There's a lot in here about famous historical marauders, but ultimately, it states that marauders are a band of rebellious outlaws. Like pirates."

"Troublemakers."

"Exactly."

I had heard once that James Potter was a lively young man always getting into trouble…it was one of the reasons everyone always told Harry he was just like his father.

Was it a far stretch to assume they were "The Marauders"?

Hermione snapped the book closed and pushed her bushy hair out of her eyes. "Well, that's a start."

"A start? Hermione you already knew whoever made that map was up to no good."

She looked at me and laughed, "Funny choice of words."

I was obviously missing something. , but I didn't care, I needed to get out of there.

"Dinner is about to start, let's go."

She shoved the large book back into its place on the begotten shelf and led me out of the maze that was the library.

"Actually, I'll meet you there, I have to do something," I said, feeling a dead weight from my shoulder bag.

"What-"

"Bye!" I called behind me, for I had already taken off running down the corridor and leaving Hermione baffled and clueless behind me.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"What do you know about Sirius Black?"

Professor Lupin stopped what he was doing and turned ever so slowly to face me. His eyes, as always, were sad and haunted, and there was now a questioning looking in them.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I've recently come into some disturbing information, and was hoping you'd know more."

"Why me?"

"Well, aside from the fact that you've never been anything but truthful and open with me," I carefully took out the old photograph from my bag that was hanging over my shoulder, and lifted it so he could see, "I've also found this."

It seemed I had surprised Lupin, for he dropped his quill and stood, "Come in and close the door behind you, please Miss. Weasley."

I did as I was told, noting the anxiety in his expression.

"Let me see that," he said as I came closer.

I handed him the photograph, completely unexpecting the reaction that followed. Professor Lupin took it from my hands softly and gently, and then slowly examined the people in the photo, as though it were a priceless artifact. It seemed that to him at least, it was in fact.

After a moment, his face dropped any hints of nerves and concern and his usually grim frown turned up just a bit, before a sole tear leaked out of his eye and fell onto the picture.

I was enthralled in the way it affected him so.

"Professor?"

He glanced up at me, startled, he must have forgotten I was there. Embarrassed, he eased back into his desk chair and sighed, "Where….where ever did you find this?"

"It was shoved inside a copy of the wizarding encyclopedia in the library, no one uses that thing these days, but Hermione and I were looking up a specific word, and we found this on that page."

A ghost of a smile emerged through the crack of his lips. "And that word, was what, might I ask?"

"Marauder."

His smile widened.

"But I'm sure you knew that already."

"You know a lot of things too, Ginny, much more than any girl your age should."

"I still want to know more."

"Haven't you ever heard the saying, curiosity killed the cat?"

"Good thing I'm not a cat."

Lupin looked at me for a moment, considering. "I'll answer what I can, from what you ask. On one condition."

"Yes?"

"You don't show that picture to Harry, nor mention it to him. I only think it will upset him."

He was right, and after seeing his attachment to the photo I knew there was really only one thing to do, "I was going to ask if you wanted to keep it, actually."

He smiled again, "That would mean the world, Ginny. Thank you. What is it you want to know?"

"Those boys in the picture. The one in the glasses, that's Harry's father, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"And the one on the end, that's you?"

"Yes."

"And the boy in the middle…. That's…. that's Sirius Black."

"Yes."

I swallowed, "So it's true then? Sirius was James Potter's best friend?"

"Yes he was. And so was I."

It was a troubling thought. How could someone as utterly demented as Sirius Black have had friends as good as James Potter and Remus Lupin? Lupin was good. I knew it deep down inside. I could trust him. But... how could he have been friends with such a monster?

Perhaps Hermione was right, Sirius Black had turned into one bad seed. He snapped.

"Does Harry know this? That you were his father's best friend?"

"He knows I was acquainted with his parents, yes, but not the extent of our friendship."

"Are you ever going to tell him?"

"When the time is right, I believe the truth will come out."

"The truth being that you four, you were the Marauders?"

His eyes gave me the answer Hermione had been looking for.

This was insane. Would the mysteries and the shocks and the confusion and the complications ever end? What was normal anymore? I had lost all sense of it.

"How could you have ever been friends with a man so dark? Unless…unless you are still friends with him? Have you been the one letting him in-"

"GINNY! Please. You know better than that."

I sat in my usual chair opposite him, "I don't know what to believe anymore. I feel like there are lies and secrets hiding behind every corner and the truth is something I have to search for myself! You were best friends with Sirius Black, Harry Potter' Godfather! A man hell bent on killing Harry! A man who has killed innocent people already! I want to trust you, but you must understand my hesitation."

"I do." He sighed and rubbed his tired eyes, "But believe me, Ginny, Sirius Black was not a madman when I knew him. He was a kind, mischievous boy, who was rough around the edges and grew up in a messed up family, but a man who I trusted my life with. Whoever this man is blasted on all the papers wasn't the boy in this picture."

He looked up at the ceiling, and took a deep breath. "When Harry was born, James and Lily named him godfather, and he was in love with the boy, the best god damn godfather I've ever seen. But when the first wizarding war started, Sirius changed. He started becoming paranoid…. he distanced himself from me. He became completely inseparable with our other friend, Peter Pettigrew," he said pointing at the rat-like, chubby boy in the photo. "The Potters went into hiding….and I never saw them again. The next thing I heard of my best friends, was that James and Lily were dead, that Harry had been taken away… and that Sirius had killed Peter….along with several others."

I gasped.

"All that was left of Pettigrew…was his finger. Sirius was locked up, and I was completely alone."

The pain in his eyes was as evident as ever and I started to understand why this man looked so torn apart. His story was as sad as Harry's.

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Isn't it what you came her for? The truth?"

"Well, yes but, I never thought that- I mean-"

"Miss. Weasley, I know what it's like to be kept in the dark. You found this picture, you want answers, and knowing my story isn't going to land you in any trouble. There's no harm in my telling you the truth, after all you've told me your personal secrets. Now we are even."

He made a great point, and for that, I was grateful to him. No one else would have trusted such a young girl with so much information.

"What do you think happened to him?"

Remus Lupin slanted his head and pressed his lips together, "His family…was dark. They….supported Voldemort's regime. I've spent twelve years trying to figure out what happened, where my best friend went wrong. The only thing I ever came up with, would be that he gave into his bloodline."

"I'm so sorry, Professor."

"Sorry for what? That I lost all my dearest friends, that one of them killed the other? That Voldemort tore apart a beautiful new family? And an old friendship? No, Ginny, don't be sorry for things that happened before you were even born, I'm sorry for burdening you with this tragedy."

"I've burdened you with mine, I guess that makes us even."

He smiled. "Still, I hope you don't think I have anything to do with Black getting into the school. I've not seen him in twelve, almost thirteen, years."

"But you knew him well once, do you have any idea how he did it?"

An eye brow was raised and I swear I could see a twinkle in his eye. "I have my theories. James, Peter, Sirius and I did get up to a whole lot on these grounds, we had many secrets, and they will remain secret, Miss. Weasley."

"But if you know-"

"I don't know anything, I only think I know. But it's all handled, you will sleep safe tonight, I assure you."

A whole world went on before I existed, the walls of Hogwarts had seen so much, things I couldn't even begin to dream of.

I had already become part of the chaos.

I began to stand when another thought came to me. "What will they do to him? When they catch him, I mean."

"If they catch him."

My eyes widened, and I took a deep breath, "If."

Professor Lupin's tears welled up again in a subtle manner. "I suspect he will be subjected to the Dementor's Kiss."

"What is that?" I thought he had told me everything there was to know about dementors.

"It's when a dementor feeds off someone enough to suck out their soul."

I blanched, not believing that was even possible, "Why not just kill him?"

I could see why he was so upset, we were discussing the demise of his once most loyal and trusted ally; a brother.

"Because being soulless… a Dementor's Kiss is a fate worse than death."

I never told Harry, Ron or Hermione what Remus Lupin confided in me. To this day, I wonder if it would have changed the outcome of what happened that year. However, at 12 years old I was still kept in the dark, and in truth, all the events of that year flew right over my head without my knowledge. I was told to keep a secret and that is precisely what I did. Looking back, it's easy to say that perhaps things would have turned out better, but I can't only blame myself.

Lies and secrets were all over and it all led to unfortunate circumstances. As happened each year I attended Hogwarts. But it was something I had to get used to if I wanted to sustain my sanity.

I was doing very well in all my classes, turns out, I could be almost as brainy as Hermione. My favorite class was charms; Professor Flitwick had quickly grown a liking to me as I seemed to be a natural. There was something about being able to use magic to perform the simplest tasks, there were so many uses for magic, and I was obsessed with the ability to harness and use magic whenever I could. I was eager, I was talented and I was determined to prove to my brothers that I was just as good as they were. My least favorite subject was potions. This was not only due to the fact that Professor Snape was most probably the worst human being I'd ever met, but because there was little wand waving and actual magic used in potions, it was more like cooking- as helpful as it could be. Aside from that, attending classes was something I looked forward to and enjoyed doing.

"Is your brother doing any better today?" Colin Creevey asked during our Transfiguration lesson. We were practicing turning animals into goblets, and his bearded dragon was rejecting his attempts.

I paused and looked at him questioningly, "What's wrong with my brother, and which one, for that matter?"

"Ron, he came bursting into our dormitory last night screaming for his rat, Scabbers. He was pretty upset, he nearly tore our room to shreds searching for him, until Harry and Dean Thomas came in and practically dragged him out."

My jaw dropped, "You're joking?"

"He kept muttering under his breath something about Hermione Granger's 'stupid cat'," Colin shrugged, "Looks to me that he blames her cat for Scabber's disappearance."

Typical Ron. "Why am I always the last to know around here?"

"Well, it's not such a big deal, he was only in our room for a few moments-"

"I actually meant about the rat, Colin."

He flushed, "Oh."

"That was my brother's Percy's rat, he's been in the family for twelve years."

"Isn't that a little long for a rat? I mean, do they usually live that long?"

"No," I said, "That's why he's so important to our family, if Ron lost him…Percy will say it's 'preposterous'," I mimicked, raising my nose in the air and pretended to pushed up imaginary spectacles.

Colin laughed.

"Mrs. Weasley, Mr. Creevey!" called Professor McGonagall, who had appeared out of nowhere, like the stealthy cat she was, "Would you care to inform me why there is so much conversation and laughter coming from the two of you as opposed to what you should be doing?"

The class snickered.

"Go on, tell me, what is so funny?"

"Nothing, Professor," said a shamed Colin.

"Sorry, Professor," I piped in.

"Well, then, if you have found the time to tell jokes then you must have mastered the spell. Let's see it, Miss. Weasley."

Professor McGonagall was known for her lack of tolerance for funny business, but she was nowhere near as cross as Snape. Still, she was able to send the ice cold stab of intimidation into the souls of any of her students. She was a great teacher and I held her in the highest respect, being chastised by her was almost worse than being torn apart and humiliated by the Potions Master, because deep down we all knew that she was right.

Colin fidgeted beside me, because we both knew I had yet to even try the spell, I had to make it look as though I'd been practicing. She was asking me to perform a success, and that was a very tall order. Unfortunately, I didn't really have a choice.

Focusing all my concentration on the newt before me, I tapped my wand three times envisioning the scarlet newt transform into a glass. "Feraverto."

A stream of energy flowed through my arm and from my wand to the completely unsuspecting animal, in one fluid moment the newt grew into a blood golden water goblet. I picked it up and felt the cool metal that had just been a scaly creature. The wonder of magic dazzled me yet again.

The class was very quiet, from what I knew, I was the first to be able to cast the spell without any kinks at all.

"Very impressive, Miss. Weasley especially on your first try," she tried to hide her smirk.

I replied with a guilty smile, the woman was too cunning for her own good.

"When were you going to tell me you lost Scabbers?"

"I didn't lose Scabbers! Hermione's bloody cat got to it."

"Alright, no need to be so testy with me, I haven't done anything."

Ron crossed his arms in an immature pout, "I have every right to be testy; my rat's been eaten."

Shaking my head, I sat beside him on the couch in the Common Room. "I'm sorry, Ron." It was a crummy situation. "But, I hear you're being awfully rotten to Hermione."

"Mind your own business, Ginny."

"Oh that's nice! Why don't you just go back to pretending I don't even go here like you did last year? I'll do the same and that way I'll never have to get in your business again. Let me just say one last thing: If you keep pushing Hermione away, you are going to lose her as a friend."

I walked away after that, boiling and blazed with anger. If Ron had been dead set on making up for the previous year, he had failed. He was also failing Hermione. There was only so much more my friend would take before she gave up on Ron. I was fully aware they had their history and I knew that there were times when Ron could be the most loyal and rightfully deserving of her friendship, but those times were few and far in between,

I hadn't spoken to Ron much at all that year, it was as if my brothers were in another universe, on another plane of existence while we were under the same roof. Those early years, I was in the background and I was hiding in the dark, I rarely came to them for anything, and they rarely noticed I was a student at all.

This is why I was surprised when Ron approached me a week or so later.

"When were you going to tell me you've been having private sessions with Professor Lupin?"

My eyes widened in shock and I quickly scanned the area to see if anyone had heard him before looking up from my studies and vehemently whispered, "They're private for a reason, Ronald! Be quiet!"

Sensing the ice in my voice, he carefully sat across from my at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall. "Private or not, I'm your brother and I should know these things, not hear about them second hand from my best mate."

"Hermione told you?"

"No, Harry. Apparently Lupin casually mentioned it to Harry weeks ago, and Harry just happened to casually mention it to me just now. He figured I'd already knew!" he said raising his voice again.

"Low your voice or I'll turn you into a water goblet."

"What is Lupin teaching you?"

"He's not teaching me anything. I just go and talk to him from time to time about how I feel, and what I went through last year. It's not a big deal, I just don't want people around here thinking that I need help or therapy or something."

"But that's obviously what you're doing, so, you do."

"NO!" I half yelled. Padma Patil looked over from where she had been studying with Lavender Brown. Blushing, I shrunk back into myself, "Look, he's just helping me analyze what happened last year. It's personal and private okay? And I didn't tell you because it's not your business."

Ron's ears went red at the tips. Throwing his own stupid words at him was always the best way to put him in his place. He sat in silence for a few moments as I memorized the intricate details of my quill. "Has he helped you any? Professor Lupin, I mean?"

"Loads, actually."

"Good."

More awkward silence ensued.

"I….I… cleared things up with Hermione, by the way."

"You did?"

"Yes, I told her it wasn't her fault. Scabbers was pretty old…it might not even have been Crookshanks at all."

"Good."

I thought back on the whole year, thought back on the hours I spent in Lupin's office, speaking my mind and expressing my fears and anxieties. I thought about how I finally let got Tom out of my life, and I felt guilty for not telling any of my brothers of the progress I'd made. While it should have been in their own interest to check up on their sister from time to time…I could have made an effort too. I was grateful to have found an incredible friend in Hermione; somehow, after that year, I knew she'd be the sister I'd always longed for.

Looking at Ron now… I knew that he's grown some too. We both still had so much more to go, so many more tragedies to go through, but as my second year came to an end, I was satisfied with what I'd accomplished.

"Ron!" Hermione's voice broke my soliloquy. We both turned to see her rushing up to the table looking frantic and very upset. "Ron, Hagrid's just sent this for us," she told him, shoving a note into his hands.

I watched, utterly perplexed, as he read the note. His face paled, "Oh, no. We have to go see him. Now."

"What's going on?" I asked.

"One of Hagrid's pets is being executed. Tonight."

I frowned, "That's terrible."

"Where's Harry?"

Hermione shook her head, "I don't know."

"Let's go wait for him in the common room," he said, already getting up and ushering her away.

"Bye!" I called, but there was no point, they were already gone.

I sat there left behind, in the dust, in the dark, every cliché you could possibly think of. And so it began. That moment was one of the first of many in which I would be tossed aside and hidden from the truth. I sat, and I watched them run out of the room. Onto yet another adventure I would never hear about.

No. All I heard was the same thing everyone in the school heard the next morning.

SIRIUS BLACK- CAPTURED RIGHT OUTSIDE SCHOOL GROUNDS!

SIRIUS BLACK ESCAPES IN THE NIGHT FROM HOGWARTS IMPRISONMENT!

ESCAPES ON THE BACK OF FUGITIVE HIPPOGRIFF, EVADING DEMENTOR'S KISS!

They had him. And yet somehow, he'd managed to fly off in the distance. All I wanted was for him to pay. Pay for what he did to Harry, pay for what he did to Lupin. And it seemed like it would never happen.

Oddly enough, when I saw Harry the next day, where I had been expecting a disgruntled and angry frown, I found the happiest grin I'd ever seen on his face. It made no sense. But I was still too shy to ask him why.

"He got away. HE GOT AWAY! I can't believe it! How good of a criminal do you have to be to- What are you doing?" I froze mid-rant when I actually noticed what Professor Lupin was doing. I had walked in shooting words out of my mouth, and he'd been…packing.

"I'm packing my things, Miss. Weasley."

"But the term doesn't end for a few more weeks. Why are you putting everything away now?"

"Because I'm leaving."

"Early?"

"Ginny. I'm leaving Hogwarts, leaving my post."

I was confused, "Why? Dumbledore couldn't have sacked you, why would he?"

"I've not been sacked, but I do think I should go before someone sees fit to bring the issue up to the ministry of my removal from teaching students. I'd rather save Dumbledore the headache," he calmly stated as he folded up worn out robes and placed them in his trunk.

I slunk down into a desk in disbelief. "But….but…I don't understand. Why is your teaching an issue?"

Lupin stopped what he was doing and took out his wand; he pointed it at the door and it slammed shut. "Ginny," he sighed, "You've been awfully honest with me this year, and though I've tried, I've not been fully honest with you."

My throat was exceedingly dry, but, I nodded for him to continue.

"One of the reason's Dumbledore asked me to help you was because I have my own demons as well, I've lived a very dark and challenging life. He felt, that I could learn from you the same way you could learn from me."

"Learn from me? What could I have possibly taught you?"

He gifted me a sad smile, "You are one of the strongest, good willed people I've ever met. You are so talented, Ginny, and you don't let anyone, or anything get in the way of that. You're a fighter. And through your resilience, and seeing someone as young as you come to terms with darkness and come out from it I've learned to hate myself a little less, and I'm inspired to be a little more like you."

His words were beautiful. They were so genuine, I actually believed them myself. I felt tears come to my eyes when I realized he was saying goodbye.

"Why do you hate yourself, Professor?"

Closing his eyes in resignation, he spoke, "When I was very young, I was attacked by a man named Fenrir Greyback."

I gasped, I knew that name. Fenrir Greyback was an infamous… "You mean you're a-"

"I'm a werewolf, Ginny."

Suddenly it all made sense, he'd been "indisposed" for class often throughout the year, and it explained the scars on his face, and why he always looked so tired. Professor Lupin was a creature of the night.

The poor man.

"I…. I don't know what to say." I wasn't scared of him, I knew there were potions one took to help with the transformations and they only turned under the full moon. I knew I was totally safe with this man.

"You don't have to say anything, just as long as you forgive me for never telling you."

"There's nothing to forgive."

He smiled a true smile. "Now you can see why I should leave, somehow my true identity has been revealed.

There was an edge to his voice when he said that which made me think he knew exactly how the information leaked. But I didn't ask.

"I'm going to miss you, Professor."

"As I you, Ginny. You've got a long and adventurous life ahead of you, I'm sure we'll cross paths again one day."

Being bold, I took a few steps forward and hugged the man. He was startled, and I wondered how long it had been since he'd received a hug. But after a moment, he returned it gently.

"Be good," I told him, reluctantly heading for the door.

"Be good," he replied.

It was sad to leave, knowing that I'd never find solace in that room again. But as I realized it, I also realized, I didn't need it anymore. Tom was gone, and I was happy. I had forgiven myself, and only hoped that Lupin would follow suit one day.

Lost in my musings, I bumped into someone who must have been on their way to visit Professor Lupin as well.

"Oh, hello, Gin."

Straitening my stance and smiling brightly, I replied, "Hello, Harry," without a single blush.