Chapter 5

Anastasia

After my chance encounter with Mike last week, things have become very awkward between Christian and me. I know he is hurting, and he has become quite distant with me. I wish my memory would come back….I hate not knowing anything about what our relationship and marriage was like.

I was walking back to my car after shopping for some anniversary gifts for my parents' anniversary when I heard my name being called. I looked up and saw a beautiful woman calling me and walking towards me with a smile on her face. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Sawyer tense up immediately.

"Anastasia" she said again.

"Yes?" I said back, wondering who she was.

"You don't remember me?" She smiled, bigger this time.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" Who the hell is this woman?

"Technically we know of each other-we know one person very well" she smugly says, as her grin becomes more evil. "I'm Leila Williams-the future Mrs. Grey."

What the fuck?

"Excuse me?" I feel rage building inside me.

"Christian plans on divorcing you so we can get married—hasn't he told you yet?"

"I don't know what the hell you are talking about" I snap, feeling my head start to throb.

"We've been seeing each other for months. He doesn't love you anymore-he wants to be with me. It's a shame you are so delusional that you think he still loves you. You could never be enough for a man like Christian" she snarls back.

"Would you still be interested in him if he wasn't rich?" I ask sarcastically. "After all, we don't have pre-nup, so I will get everything in the divorce, and he will have nothing left for you."

She said nothing, but had a shocked look on her face

"Let's go see about all this, shall we?" I said, gesturing towards the waiting SUV."

"There's no need for that—let me show you this" she said, raising her hand so I could see engagement ring on her finger. "See—he has already asked me to marry him. As soon as he divorces you we are getting married."

"Are you going to get into the car quietly, or am I going to drag you in there, kicking and screaming? It's your choice" I hissed at her, looking at Sawyer to help me grab her and shove her in the car.

All the color drained from her face as she begrudgingly climbed in.

"Sawyer, Grey House, please" I order.

"What the fuck—why are we going there?" she screamed

Ignoring her, I looked out the window and closed my eyes. In no time we arrive at GEH.

I told Sawyer to escort Leila to my cheating husband's office.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Grey" Andrea smiled and greeted me, but a soon as she saw who was with me her smile quickly faded away.

Without saying anything I barged into Christian's office—he was in a meeting with 2 men but quickly dismissed them when he saw the look on my face.

"Well, this is a pleasant surprise" He beamed at me, but his smile quickly faded when Sawyer pushed Leila inside his office door.

"Yes—this has been a really surprising and enlightening afternoon—as you can see I have your future wife with me" as I gestured towards a very nervous Leila.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" he stuttered

"Answer me honestly—did you have an affair with her?" I calmly asked

He just looked at me, all color draining from his face

"Yes" he answered so quietly I almost couldn't hear him.

I forcefully grabbed Leila's arm and shoved her to Christian's side.

"Do you love her? Are you planning on divorcing me to marry her? Because that is what she just told me!"

"NO! I don't love her. I never planned on leaving you to marry her. She was the biggest mistake I ever made." Leila looked at him, her brown eyes filled with pain.

"You told me that you loved me and wanted to marry me-why are you saying this?" she screamed at him.

"I never said any of that to you—you're just a whore who was willing to spread her legs for me" Christian yelled at her.

"Please baby, believe me when I say that she doesn't mean anything to me" Christian pleads to me, holding my face with his 2 hands.

"Who's delusional now, Miss. Williams?" I smugly said to her.

"Who's going to be Christian, her or me?" I asked, staring Leila right in the eyes.

"You Ana, it's always been you"

Leila screamed, hitting Christian on his back. "You lied to me; you told me that we will be together!"

Christian nodded at Taylor and Sawyer, and they dragged her out of the office, screaming and kicking.

"Wait a minute" I stopped them before they stepped into the elevator.

Without any word, I slapped Leila so hard that my left hand stung and everyone could hear it ring out across the entire floor. After that, I turned around and walked away, leaving her at the elevator with Sawyer and Taylor, and all the employees of the executive floor looking stunned.

I went back to Christian's office, and upon seeing the mini bar in the corner, I poured myself a strong drink and downed it in one gulp.

Christian just stood there nervously while I poured another drink, but this time I took my time sipping it welcoming the burning sensation in my throat.

"Did I know about the two of you?" I asked without looking at him.

"Yes" whispered.

"When?"

"The same day you had your accident"

"Did I leave you? Is that why I was packed and driving away? Is that the reason I was in that accident?"

"Yes" he answers, ashamed, not able to look me in the eye

"Were you ever going to tell me?"

"Yes… but I was scared. I didn't want to lose you. I didn't know how to tell you"

"You should have." I turned to look at him and there was fear in his eyes.

"Please baby –" I held my hand up stopping him.

"I knew that someone like you wouldn't be satisfied with someone like me. Ever since I learned that we were married I kept asking myself what you see in me. Why someone like you would settle for some nobody like me. But now that I think about it, it is a blessing that I don't remember anything about our marriage, because now I don't feel the pain of your betrayal….Because now I feel nothing for you" I coldly say to him, with no emotion at all.

"Don't say that baby… please… I know I fucked up Anastasia…please" he chokes out. "What do I have to do to make this up to you, please tell me what I can do" he cries, tears running down his face.

"Nothing…. There is nothing you can do. All I feel right now is relief that I don't remember what you meant to me, how much I loved you…. because now I feel nothing at all for you. I don't love you."

Saying that, I walked out of his office, leaving him on his knees crying and begging me to forgive him.

"Don't follow me" I hissed at Sawyer when he started to follow me.

I didn't realize how long I had been walking until I realized the sun was starting to go down. I sat down on a nearby bench and just took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears from rolling down my face.

I know what I said to him was very hurtful, and to be honest it pained me to see him like that. Sometimes my anger gets the best of me, and all I wanted to do was to hurt him like he hurt me.

If you feel nothing for him then why are you crying?

The last few weeks he has shown me how much he loves me, but now knowing of his betrayal, I couldn't allow myself to let him hurt me anymore.

Maybe he was doing everything out of guilt.

This whole time was a big lie; our relationship was doomed from the beginning. From dating only a couple of months to getting engaged and marrying so quickly.

I have a million thoughts swimming around my head right now..

I need to contact a lawyer…

Divorce him and free myself from him…

Why couldn't I be enough?

Maybe I did something that made him go look for another woman.

Where am I going to live and work now?

I feel rain drops on my left hand, landing on my engagement and wedding rings.

I guess even the sky is crying with me too.