Chapter 52
Nancy
Sharing

"You know," Remarks Jack as he walks over to his desk. "I think you need to tell me how you are really feeling about your feelings for Martin. First you weren't sure of him, then you very supportive and now I can't tell. Makes it difficult to see if there are issues that concern you."

"Erf!" Nancy begins waving her arms around, "So I am the one who is being difficult. I am the one you need to question, what about questioning Martin. Oh, don't do that Martin is perfect. He is ready to betray us to humans, but that's okay." She sits down staring at Jack with her arms crossed stiffly.

"Would you please calm down," His voice takes on a stiff tone. "Martin, has a difficult job. Look who he must work with our Superiors and yet help us so we can strike out and make a difference against the Regime."

Nancy shakes her head, "He is not just wanting to bring humans in to help us. No, he truly is a Fifth Columnist."

"Of course," Jack smiles, but knows that a smile is not going to be helpful. "You and I are as well."

A shiver runs up Nancy's spine, "Fifth Column means to be on the side of the other side, you know assist the enemy." Trying to give the human definition is very difficult, "Oh, whatever! He is truly on the side of the humans." She glares at Jack. "We have family at home, people who will die if things remain the way they are. We need to have water and food and I know we should be getting the water somewhere else and not taking it from Earth. I am all for that, but I want to make a difference for my world, my home. This is not for the humans. Yes, we do want to make a difference for them as well and get these ships out of here. Martin he seems to only cares about the humans now!"

"Nancy, he cares about all of us. This a man with deep feelings and compassion. This is a man who has been on the other side; not that he meant too. You know the story, he was sent out to keep order with the protesters in a section of the city where artists and musicians and sadly radicals lived. The protests got out of hand, to this day he has no idea how everything came to its deadly conclusion. . ."

She interrupts him, "I know the story. He killed a protester and of course regrets it. No, one can take away the guilt he must feel, you just have to try and learn how to go on with your life and try to make amends. He has done much good and I am sure that this has led him to give for those in need." Nancy reaches across the desk and Jack places his hands on hers for a moment. She gives Jack a warm gaze, "He is a wonderful man, but he needs to remember our people."

"You understand that the protester was not a protester, just someone in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyone and I mean everyone has regrets. Even good people do stupid stuff and sometimes you can get caught up in some pretty deplorable stuff; you have to learn from these mistakes. As you said he is learning to move on and to give, but he will never forget someone died at his hands who should not have. But maybe, just maybe this was fate's way to get him where he needed to be and to truly aid many others. Meaning not just our people who want to bring the Regime down or at least make a difference, but for the humans who did not ask for this. And before you think I don't care for that innocent life, I do. Life is never going to be fair, ever!" Then Jack gives her a quick smile before continuing. "You, yourself have carried such a heavy load and somehow you have had to figure out how to go on each time. You did that not just for yourself, but for those you loved and so has Martin. Again life is not fair, but none of us can ever truly go through life alone. We need someone there to support us, even when we make those mistakes. This when sometimes all we want to do is just have life itself end because we feel we can't go on. You are a strong woman and funny I don't know if people understand how often it is not me, nor Martin that thinks up the details on some of these decisions. It is you that thinks about things while we rush through. . ." He shrugs, "We just plunge ahead without thinking. You are needed."

"I love talking to you," Nancy takes a long sigh. "I need to see things another way at times and you show that to me. Martin is a good man, I think you are right this horrible mistake put him on track to make a difference. I just think because of this mistake he is forgetting why we are truly here. Then again, maybe that is what he is supposed to do."

"He's a good leader, for now let's just go with him. Martin has found that we need to have humans to work with and I agree with him. He knows that our goal is to make a true difference in bringing down or at the very least disrupting Regime."

"Can we agree on one thing that I feel is important?"

"I don't know what that is. Are you worried about Martin or not?" Jack gives her a questioning look, "He would never betray us."

She is feeling uneasy, she knows that Martin would never purposely betray them. However, it is the idea he would by accident and may never know he had done just that. This Nancy realizes is what has been bothering her the whole time, it is so obvious now what has been worrying her. "I am glad we talked. Your words about my being strong, all I can say is thank you and it was inspiring. I am reminded no matter what, we can power through it." She bites her upper lip for a moment before speaking, "I truly didn't know what was bothering me since this Donovan became involved in all of this. Funny how something can upset you and you can't really identify what is causing you such anxiety."

"Well, you are welcome, but you deserved those words." Jack shrugs and smiles. Then he frowns, "What is really the problem then if you think Martin is working for the same goal. The same goal for our people."

"I want to make one thing clear and not just for us, not just for Martin, but an issue for all of the Fifth Column to be aware of."

"What issue do you have in order to keep to our goal for our people."

"My point is this," Nancy gives a smile and then her face becomes hard. "No, matter the interaction with humans, they must never really know us. I am not saying our physical differences, well yes that too. They should not know there are four different people on our planet, health problems on our world, our history, our family, religion, I mean everything. Always keep our lives apart from them. Yes, talk to them if for some reason a Fifth Column member must interact with them. I know that if we need to include them in some particular goal that we may think that sharing these details will build trust, but it will bring on a bigger issues. We should never give them something they can ever use against us, no sharing of technology unless truly necessary. We find a way to not share, manipulate if necessary and always keep that distance. Understand! Sharing means it may not be the human you shared with, but rather what happens when that human shares with another who hates us. There are so many humans I am sure that hate us and want revenge, humans that may find a way to use this information to kill us. Even the smallest bit of information can be a deadly thing when put together with other details. Does this make sense? We follow the same guidelines that the Regime set for us even if we feel we have made human friends. Be friends, but never cross that line. If you have someone on the ship or home, their lives could be in your hands. More clarification needed?"

"Most of us will have little interaction with humans and this includes Martin." He gives her a warm smile, "I think you worry to much. I want you to know how much I care about you. We will make a difference, this truly is our object."

"I believe Martin has had a great deal of interaction with humans, but I will let it go." Nancy tilts her head towards Jack, she has never told him how much she cares about him. Not just as a friend, much more. She gives him a caring look and smiles, "I want you to know how much I care. . ." Jack's device goes off and she stops speaking.

Jack hits a button on his desk and the door opens, "Martin! How goes the day, little skin repair needed?" The door shuts and Martin walks in and sits down next to Nancy.

Martin gives them a warm smile, "I was thinking we could go for some chaffee, I mean coffee."

Nancy smiles, maybe this was fate's way of saying not today to express her true feelings for Jack.

"We were just talking about something in regards to working with humans if that happens. Do you mind talking about it for a moment?" Jack asks with a smile to Martin. "I think you will find it a good perspective with working with them."

"Have you seen the human again?" Nancy jumps in, "Sorry. Please go ahead."

"Your fine, Nancy." Martin tilts his head to her and then continues. "I have not seen him. I am sure when he is ready he will find a way to reach out, as you know he is fearless."

Nancy is not impressed with the human, she imagines the only reason he wouldn't want Martin found out is that he wouldn't get to use Martin for his own agenda. She bites her lower lip, that isn't fair it makes her, a not positive person. Although this is likely how the humans are thinking of them. "Yes, he is fearless." Her next thought is that the human certainly doesn't think things through as he wildly does as he wants no matter the lives he puts in harm's way, Mike Donovan will never be her hero.

"So what is your new perspective Jack?" Martin looks to Jack and then to her.

"Since the idea is to perhaps have more interaction with humans, maybe we should have some guidelines." Jack clears his throat, "As much as we want to help them and them to assist us, we need to remember we came and invaded their world. If it were me, I would not be happy. Say you become fairly close friends with one of them and slowly they begin to learn so much about us. We are not just physically different, but have different religion and other beliefs that they may not have, but could use against us. Also, I believe they should never know that there are four different species on our world. Especially, never give them medical information."

"I don't see how they could ever use this information." Martin says, "How could they use it in fact. Our different religions, the humans have different religions themselves. I don't see that as an issue, but I suppose with the Leader trying to bring back some very old beliefs." He shrugs, "Maybe it is good not to share. The medical, I guess you mean like illness or worse plagues. That would take scientists doing a great deal of work and having to take our people as what do they call them. . .ah, guinea pigs. What could they do with that." He pauses for a moment, "In fact knowing that we are a different people may be helpful for them to understand us. To know our true physical selves and that you could have two or three of us standing together without our fake skin and see that we don't look alike either." Martin grins, "I think knowing us would be good."

Nancy has been reluctant to jump in, but Jack has been wonderful to bring up her concerns. She looks him in the eye and speaks firmly. "Martin, I am sure they already have scientists who will be studying us. I am going to ask you and the rest of the Fifth to take care of what you share, we have been trained just like Youth Corp how to interact without sharing. Think about it for a moment, you tell them about an illness brought about by one of our plagues and share this history. This in turn is shared with a scientist and then someone who seeks revenge against us takes someone and begins to experiment. They continue to find and take our people one at a time, then when they find the correct strain. It could take years, but our ships will be here and they will be more and more angry as time progresses." She pauses, "They take someone and poison this individual who takes it to the ship. This individual doesn't know they are carrying something evil and before long a new plague runs rampant and before it can be stopped many, many die. Maybe it is even taken to our world, where millions die before a cure is found and with the way things are right now we may not have the resources to prevent it before it exterminates the bulk of our people."

Martin stares at her, "I can't see that happening."

Jack tilts his head, "Seriously! You can't see that. These people aren't stupid. Someone may have been hurt by losing someone they loved dearly and they have the knowledge to do just that. Sharing anything should not be done. The human you are working with may not be the one as Nancy said, but simply the one that passes that small ironic piece of information along."

Nancy turns in her chair looking directly at Martin, "Then we think it is over. We send someone home and they carry the evil illness within them. No one knows and our planet is so depleted there is no way to stop this epidemic. Just a story, one that could happen."

No one talks for sometime, each has the story running through their minds with their own idea of how it could happen and those that they love the targets of some unknown illness. Finally, Martin appears to be gasping for air. "You are correct. We can call them our friends, we can work together, but the way things are now. Someone who wants revenge could find a way to create a plague. Funny, I never thought just talking about family, our history and it could be anything, but a puzzle put together could show more than you ever thought." He slaps his knee, "I agree. I will tell everyone that we never share, it is as always. We can become friends, close friends; but our family and friends deserve not to be betrayed. I still don't think it will happen, but it only takes that one piece of information put together with other information and a very angry individual to begin a disaster."

"Let Nancy and I take care of this. We will talk to everyone by setting up skin repair checkups. They may come to you for confirmation on this, but I thank you Martin."

"As you said, we may trust someone, but it is someone that they may know that could be the problem." Martin is shaking his head, "I wish, I had thought of this."

"Wish it was me, we have Nancy thinking about this." Jack gives her a large smile, "I guess women do know more about detail then we men. Even though she has to keep repeating the same thought over and over for us to actually understand." Both he and Martin laugh as Nancy rolls her eyes.

"He is right Nancy," Martin says shaking his head. "You thought of something that is important. I have to admit, I jump into things sometimes. What sounds good at the moment may have an consequence later on. Doesn't mean we can't be friends with the humans, just mindful that they have friends who feel they have every right to hate us."

"I thought we were going for chaffee. We only have enough time for one quick cup, but I would enjoy the time with my two favorite men." Nancy says smiling. They all get up and leave. As they walk down the hall she can't help looking up at Jack, someday she really needs to tell him how she feels.