Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own Narnia, or any other pop culture things referenced or any songs.

Song(s) for this chapter: Come Wake Me Up by Rascal Flatts, Full of Grace by Sarah McLachlan (or her song Fallen), I Knew You Were Trouble by Taylor Swift

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Chapter 14: Burning Heart

In the days following Ava's dream about Aslan and the Guardians, she had focused all of her energy on trying to find someone that she felt magically drawn to, but her efforts had thus far been in vain.

She spent the majority of her time training—specifically training herself to control her newfound elemental powers.

Currently, she was in the library, pouring over stacks of books and piles of scrolls pertaining to magic, the elements, and the Guardians. Truth be told, all this work was better than facing the disasters happening just outside the walls of Cair Paravel; it was much better than facing the storm of feelings swirling inside her heart. She was willing to do anything to take her mind off thoughts of Sinaaq.

She blinked several times, trying to clear her mind, but it was of no use—she had been reading the same sentence over and over again for at least an hour now.

"Ava?"

The voice broke the silence so suddenly that she nearly fell backward in her chair. As it was, she jumped and whirled around, hands up and ready to douse the intruder with water.

"Whoa! Ava it's me!" Caspian exclaimed, his hands shielding himself from a possible attack.

Ava clenched her hands into fists and bit her tongue, concentrating on not enveloping the king in a torrent of scalding or freezing water.

"Caspian, I would have thought you would know by now not to startle me," she snapped.

"Sorry, I'll look into wearing a bell around my neck," Caspian retorted. His advisor glared daggers at him.

"Was there something you needed to discuss with me, Caspian?" she asked, trying to relax—a feat that was proving harder and harder these days.

"As a matter of fact, there is," the king replied as he pulled up a nearby footstool and sat down next to her.

The look on his face told Ava that he was about to discuss something serious; he almost looked like a concerned parent. Her brow furrowed and she got a feeling in the pit of her stomach that suggested she wasn't going to like what he had to say.

"All right then…what is it?" she asked slowly.

"Ava…I really don't know how to go about this. I have practiced talking to you about this a dozen times, but nothing I say ever seems right. I suppose, the best way to say this, is to get right to it," Caspian began awkwardly.

"Something you're failing at horribly," the advisor pointed out.

The king grimaced and pinched the bridge of his nose. He sighed, looking up at her. His eyes held the utmost sympathy.

"Ava, you need to stop what you're doing and grieve," he said at last.

Ava was taken aback. She could not understand what he was talking about, though a nagging voice in the back of her head said she was lying to herself.

"What in all of Narnia are you talking about?" she asked.

"I'm talking about Sinaaq. Listen, I do not know what happened between the two of you, and it's not my business to know, but you have made it pretty clear that he was important to you. It's understandable—he did try to save your life after all," Caspian answered, his answer turning into a bit of a ramble.

By now, Ava had stood up and had turned her back to him, trying to keep the swell of her emotions under control before she destroyed half the library with rain. Her heart thundered painfully against her ribcage.

"You have been obsessing over anything that keeps you busy and you're avoiding contact with those who care about you," the king pressed. "You are not dealing with your pain, and it's destroying you."

"Life is pain, Caspian, and I'm dealing with it the best way I know how: by doing my job," Ava replied scathingly. "I am the Shepherd; I cannot afford to be weak. I'm needed too much right now. The world is falling apart! An army led by a reincarnated witch and a demonic wolf is breathing down our necks, and I'm supposed to lead the ones responsible for saving us all!"

"Even leaders need to grieve, Ava. If you do not, you won't be able to do what you have been chosen for," Caspian pointed out, his voice pleading her to see reason. "I don't know how to help you, but I know that losing someone hurts more than you can bear. I know that, when it happens, you don't know how to keep living, or why you should," he paused. "But you have to keep living—for yourself. And you don't have to do it alone. Becoming an empty shell is the worst way to live."

The advisor said nothing. She was trembling all over and trying desperately to keep hot tears from escaping. The only thing she wanted right now was to be alone. Caspian waited for her to respond, but when she did not he gave up and turned to leave. He paused at the door and turned back to her.

"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for the rest of us. We need you, Ava. More than you know," he urged quietly. He left without another word.

As soon as she heard the door close, Ava began to sob; she did not understand and that was what hurt the most.

She knew there were varying degrees of good and evil the world—very few people were completely black and white—but Sinaaq had been a complete puzzle to her. She did not understand why somebody who didn't love you would save your life.

She knew of men who professed to love women simply to get them into bed, but she had never known someone to go out of their way to protect somebody they did not love.

At first, she thought he had done it because he needed her to call the other Guardians, but then she remembered that it was her death that gave her the power of the Shepherd to begin with; there was no way Sinaaq could have known what the blood transfusion would do. The physician hadn't even known.

The wondering was killing her. Ava had never been one to let go of something she did not understand; she obsessed over anything that confused her until she had it figured out. It was worse now because it involved someone she had let into her heart. She had not meant to let him in, but he'd made it so easy—which made the betrayal hurt that much more.

You knew what he was the moment you saw him, Ava told herself. He was a criminal, a killer! You knew by the way he looked at you and the way he stole that kiss—he was trouble wrapped in a pretty package.

The thought made her sob harder. She supposed she could only blame herself for the pain she felt now; she let in a man who had a mysterious background, someone she knew nothing about. She trusted a murderer with her emotions.

Ava pounded her fists against the floor, which she had sunk to, until they hurt. She felt like such a fool. Of course Sinaaq would save her life! It did make sense. If he saved her life, then she and Caspian would be indebted to him and he could use her life to bargain for his freedom. How could she have missed that? Still, something did not sit right in her stomach; she felt like there was more to it than that and she hated it.

She reigned in her sobbing and tried to steady her breathing. Hyperventilating certainly would not make her feel better. She sat up straighter and tried to think. She wanted to move on, to forget about any feelings she had for Sinaaq, but she wasn't sure how to go about it. More importantly, she needed to move on—for Narnia and for Aslan. Right now, her country—her world—needed a strong leader, someone they could look to for guidance.

She did not know how she was going to make it through this, only that she had to.

As the advisor trudged through the woods towards spot where Sinaaq's body had been buried, one thing was certain: the world was not burning today.

Fire and wind still raged on and there was discord amongst life and death, night and day, good and evil—but the earth was silent. It was almost as if the element itself had been appeased.

Ava's thoughts, however, were not on the elements at that moment; they were on her destination. Although Sinaaq's grave was unmarked, she knew exactly where it was; she had, after all, picked out the spot herself.

She finally reached the spot and stopped short. Her hands went slack, dropping the bundle of dried, blackened roses she had brought with her to symbolize the death of old habits as well as death itself.

The earth that had covered Sinaaq's body had been disturbed, almost as if something had tried to dig up his body. Instead of the expected pile of dirt nearby, however, it looked as if the grave had imploded. Ava felt her stomach churn. There was discord between life and death, which meant a number of things could have happened; things that she did not want to think about.

Upon her hasty return to Cair Paravel, she was met on the front steps by the centaur in charge of her scouts. When he saw her approach, he did a quick bow, forgetting the usual grace and reverence that centaurs typically used. Ava frowned.

"What is it? Did something happen?" she asked anxiously, looking up at the centaur.

"Yes, Your Majesty. A Daughter of Eve was found washed up on the beach," he replied dutifully.