You just need to love her

Sweat rolled down her face, as she leaned her head back into the pillow, her eyes shut as tightly as she could get them, fist clenched with the comforter in hand, trying to avoid hurting him. Her breathing was deep, as if she was leaving the regulating of her body to whatever forces lay outside the rest of the feelings that flowed through her. Her lips were parted but her teeth were locked tight as the low moans and shivers cascaded over her.

Sam shook his head, he hated seeing her like this, and it had only gotten worse lately. He was sitting by the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, fists against his mouth, trying not to speak because everytime he did, it made her worse and finally Cas had scolded him for it. He looked up at his brother, pacing the other side of the room with his arms crossed. He wasn't sure how long Dean was going to be able to contain himself before he said fuck it and put a hand on the woman, but Cas was by her side, as always, trying to get it to fade.

It started months ago, during a hunt, Ali had been infected with something that they didn't understand. There was no cure for it because it wasn't a curse, or a spell, or something born of a monster. It wasn't a virus known to man or angel, but it was still there, a darkness in her that seemed to flare after a hunt, after a violent hunt that ended with her going just this side of postal.

Sam associated it with the mark of Cain that Dean once possessed, the uncharacteristic need to annihilate just about anything evil in her path, but this was what she was left with, pain. Pain that went through her body for hours afterwards and while Cas was alway around to help, this time, nothing seemed to be slowly it down.

The clock ticked. Sam looked up at the hands of the old machine. It had been three hours since it started, three of the longest hours of his life. But it was the sound of Cas' sigh that brought his eyes back to the bed and the limp hand on the man's thigh.

Castiel's blue eyes were staring at Sam. Dean, himself had stopped pacing, almost stopped breathing as they waited.

"I was able to get her into some sort of sleep, but Sam, it's not gone this time, her body is still fighting it." Cas whispered.

"But, she's resting?"

Cas only nodded and looked back at Ali's peaceful face. The lines of pain were gone from her forehead, the frown from her lips and her jaw had finally relaxed.

"I need to… recharge, as you humans say, this is going to be very rough."

"Go, Cas," Dean sighed, "we got this from here, and we'll call if she wakes up."

"Be aware, she might be violent when she does. We've never had one go this long, there's no telling what she's going through."

"Cas," Sam sighed, "she can't keep going on like this. What about her kids? She can't take this home with her and hunt."

"She only hunts with you now."

Cas stood and left the room, leaving Sam and Dean to look at each other confused. She had never told them that, never confided in the fact that she was staying away from her own contacts at home. It was worse than they thought if she was holding off on them.

Sam stood, moved over and slowly laid down on the bed beside her, stretching his length along her body before he gently placed a hand on her stomach. Ali flinched in her sleep. This was the reason he was totally okay with Dean touching her, kissing her, this was the reason he had no problem with her and his brother, because it kept her grounded.

Stupid reason, probably, but it helped keep him sane, knowing she was safe in his brother's arms when she wasn't in his, and there was no one he would trust more. The threesome thing… yeah that kind of took him by surprise but after a hunt, she always seemed to need more, more than he understood, and it helped.

So he wondered…

"Hey, Dean…"

The older brother looked up from his pacing, eyes landing on Sam but then moving over to where the younger one's fingers drew circles on Ali's bare stomach. He hadn't even realized he was touching bare skin until Dean's eyes landed there. Sam swallowed hard, felt the rise and fall of Ali's breaths and slowly made his way up to look into her eyes.

They were open just a slit, but watching him nonetheless. Cas said she was asleep, but they way they stared at him, Sam knew she was in full control and completely conscious.

"Ali," his breath hitched as she let out a low moan, one that only he could hear but it sent a heat straight to his balls. She moved closer to him, which caught the attention of Dean, bringing him towards the bed.

"Sam," her voice was breathless as if she were trying to be stealthy but she reached for him with one hand, grasping his shirt just as tightly as she had the bed. Sam leaned down close enough to almost feel her lips against his, trying to hear the words that flowed from her. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I love you, I love Dean. I'm sorry."

Her rant made little sense to him, but the tired sound of her voice made his heart jump. Was she giving up? Was she throwing it all away?

"Ali, please," he whispered, no, begged, "stay with me."

"I can't," she replied and jumped as Dean's hand found hers, and Sam watched her small finger wrap around his brother's even as the man looked away, his free hand fisted against his lips. "I can't keep you two going like this, it's not fair."

"Like what, Al?" Please, just let her say what was on her mind and stop skipping around, he wasn't sure if he could take it anymore.

"Being with you both," she sighed, "you shouldn't have to do that because of me, you shouldn't have to…"

"But I want to," the words slipped from his lips, cutting her off, before she had a second to finish her sentence, and Sam still hadn't moved away from her, feeling the warmth of her breath with every word against his lips. "You know me, Porter, you know I wouldn't do something I didn't want to. It's Dean, Ali, and there is no one I trust more."

"It hurts you." She was so damned stubborn that she was actually going to argue with him even in this state, and that made him smile because that meant she was at least fighting something. "I know it does, I can feel it?"

"Do you feel it when I kiss you?"

It was a completely valid question, right? Wanting to know when she felt like it was hurting him, and he knew she shook her head by the way her lips brushed against his.

"Do you feel it when I touch you?"

Again, the gentle brush was only igniting the fire within him.

"Then when do you think you can feel me hurting?"

"When you're inside me," was her only answer, and this made Sam smile.

"That is far from hurting, sweetheart." Sam pressed himself harder into her side, the thought of her heat surrounding him only made the need for it more intense. "That's love and want, and… Do you know what you do to me?"

"I…" she sighed against him, and Sam had just about enough.

FUCK it! He knew it would be a stimulation that she didn't need but he had to do it. He had to kiss her and when she opened up for him, let him explore her mouth with his tongue, the moan she let out was nearly primal.

"Sam," Dean's voice was soft, like he was feeling everything that flowed between them and suddenly, Sam sat back. He turned to his brother, watched the redness rise of Dean's face as the older man stared them down, like a peeping Tom caught in the act. "Something's wrong."

"I know," Sam sighed, his eyes going from Dean's eyes, to their joined hands, all the way up to Ali's lust-blown eyes. "We have to stop."

"No," she whimpered, "no, please, Sam. I need you, I need him."

"No," Sam sighed, his large hand coming up to cup her cheek, "this feels different, Ali, we have to… we can't, not now."

"What's wrong with me?" Her voice lowered, her teeth clenched and suddenly she was clenching her jaw tight, trying to hold in the pain. "Cas!"

"Shit!" Dean snapped and moved from the bed, grabbing his phone from the dresser. He dialed the angel's number and placed the device to his ear. "Cas, you gotta come back. Something's wrong." There was silence for a moment before Dean turned and looked at the man who suddenly stood beside him. "She woke up, Sam kissed her but there's… I can feel her emotions, and Sam's."

"I was afraid of that," Cas whispered and moved towards the bed. With one look from the angel, Sam was off the bed and standing beside his brother. Cas placed both hands on Ali's face, holding her still as he stared down at her, and with a sudden breath in, her bright blue eyes met his glowing ones. "Whatever is inside her has mutated, it's now a symbiotic relationship between her and the organism."

"What does that mean?" Dean snapped. "Cas, what the hell is going on?"

"Whatever is lashing out after the hunts," he released her stare and looked up at the two men in the room, "it's now linked to both of you."

"How?" Sam was shaking his head because he knew how it all worked. "Wait… sex… it linked us by sex."

"Yes, I'm afraid so." Cas sighed and looked down at the woman he was towering over. "You are, essentially, her mates."

"Wait… What?" Dean was a little more shocked then Sam thought he would be but then again, it was Dean and he only saw her love, not the warning signs.

"Mates, like wolves?"

"In a way, yes, but this is more…" Cas wasn't sure how to exactly explain it and it frustrated him to no end. "I'm not sure how much more than that it could be, but there are differences in this."

"You said that this was an organism, so can it be removed?" Sam shook even asking it, because why would he want it removed, but suddenly he was shaking his head, why would he not?

"No, unfortunately, it's wrapped around her biology, basically, it is in every one of her cells. There is no longer Ali and the organism, it's just Ali." Cas shrugged. "I'm sorry, there should be a better way to describe it."

"No, we get it." Dean growled and looked down at the woman on the bed. "I can't believe we let it do this to us, to her, we should have known."

"Should have known what?" Sam snapped, suddenly defensive.

"Dude, you don't sleep with your brother's girl, that should have been our first sign." Dean just crossed his arms. Sam stood silent for a little bit and turned his eyes away from his brother. "Sam, you understand that, right? You and I, we should have never gotten involved with her that way, especially not together." Sam was the one that crossed his arms this time, lowering his eyes to the ground. "Sam, what the hell!"

"I wanted it!" he suddenly admitted, his voice timid, shy. Why was he admitting anything.

"What?" Dean stepped closer and finally Sam looked up, took in a deep breath and stood his ground.

"I wanted it," he shrugged, staring into his brother's eyes. "Ali… Look, Dean, I know she loves you and I know you love her, and, there's just somethings that I… it's like we're two sides of the same coin, okay, we each have what she needs."

"What she needs is you, Sam! She loves you, she's in love with you!"

"I know that!" Sam snapped, "I do, I know that, but there are things that she needs that I can't give her. It's just not in my makeup and you know that, Dean, you know how I am. She… you give that to her, because no matter how hard I try, I can't."

"Sam," Dean rubbed his forehead, before looking up at him, "what could I possibly give her that you can't."

"Ask her," Sam whispered, his eyes going back to the floor once more, "when she wakes up, I'll step out, and then I want you to ask her. Tell her that I said it was okay, that it was time that you needed to know."

"Wait, you've talked about it?"

Sam nodded.

"When? Was it after the first time? Before? Huh?" Dean was getting aggravated, but all Sam saw was the way that Ali responded to the rise in the anger and he stepped forward, touching her leg gently. "When did you talk about it, Sam?"

"A while ago," was all he replied and Dean closed his eyes, "a long while ago."

"That's great," Dean sighed, "just fucking great!" he moved towards the fridge and grabbed a beer from inside, cracking it open before he sat down at the table. "What do I do with that?"

"You do what you have been doing," Cas chimed in, and both men looked at him. "You realize that you both have been the ones keeping this from going completely south, as you would say. The two of you together has been what keeps her from going over the edge, so with this information or not, you need to keep going with what you have been doing. It's how you survive, how she survives."

"And what do we call our little love nest?" Dean cracked sarcastically.

"It doesn't need to have a name, Dean, it just needs to be." Cas sighed, turning his eyes down to the woman who lay there quietly on the bed, her breathing slow and steady, her eyes unmoving as her heart rate steadied. "You just need to love her."

"I do, Cas," Dean whispered, placing a hand over his eyes, "I do."