A/N: The song in this chapter is All of the Stars by Ed Sheeran. And again, have a listen while you are reading if you like :)

Chapter 19

Chloe was woken up by the continuous ringing of her phone that morning. She reached out to pick it up from the nightstand and saw that they were a bunch of text messages and emails from her colleagues and friends to wish her a happy birthday.

She sighed, tossing her phone back and staring at the ceiling. She was not in the mood to celebrate her birthday this year. Even since she found out the truth about the event 8 years ago from Stacie, she didn't know how to face Beca. And she knew Beca was beginning to become suspicious since the brunette had asked her several times if she was okay when they were out with Stacie the other day. Somehow after all these years, Beca could still read her like an open book. Chloe let out a bitter laugh, because yes, Beca always had the ability to notice every subtle sign of her emotions. Having someone that understood her this much made Chloe's heart feel warm, but it terrified her at the same time, not to mention that someone was Beca.

Now that she knew why the brunette didn't call her back during those 15 days, what she couldn't understand was why Beca didn't call to explain everything to her and tell her the truth after she woke up from the coma. Because she would have understood. She would have yelled at Beca for almost getting herself killed yes, but she would have forgiven the brunette. She just couldn't understand why Beca would just throw away what they had so easily and it still hurt her, even till this day.

What's worse, her feelings towards Beca seemed to become more and more difficult to ignore these days. She tried to stay in denial and convince herself that they were just friends. But the butterflies in her stomach when Beca smiled at her, the accelerated heartbeats whenever their hands brushed by chance, the lingering looks towards Beca when the brunette wasn't looking… everything was telling her that they were more than friends. And Chloe had finally accepted it, but did she still love Beca? Did she fall back in love with Beca, or had she never stopped loving Beca? She refused to continue thinking about her feelings. Maybe the Chloe from 8 years ago wouldn't stop until she figured out what her feelings were and would immediately act on them. But she was not who she used to be 8 years ago. Sure, she was still bubbly, positive, outgoing and all, but she had become more reserved when it came to love and feelings because she had made the mistake of putting her heart out there and had her heart shattered in the end. When she finally picked up what was left of her broken heart, she promised herself that she would protect those pieces from then on, and would never give anyone the power to crush one more piece. Therefore, she built up cold concrete walls around her heart, and they were there for 8 years. But lately, those walls started to chip, and she was terrified.

Chloe shook her head, getting up from her bed. Her colleagues at the clinic had forced her to take this day off to relax and she had also politely refused some invitations from her friends to go out and celebrate her birthday, claiming she was getting old and just wanted to stay in. However, deep down, she just wanted to spend her birthday with only one person in this world, and that was Beca. It was always Beca. But she knew she couldn't call the brunette, not when she couldn't figure out her feelings. Guess it'll just be myself then. She thought, and decided to put on her favourite onesie and hedgehog slippers to spend the whole day watching movies on the couch with some popcorn.

It was around 6pm, and Chloe was already dozing off on the couch after watching several movies during the day. But suddenly, she was startled by a few knocks at the door. Confused and still slightly sleepy, she got up from the couch and went to answer it.

However, when she opened the door, all her sleepiness and tiredness were immediately gone. Because there stood Beca Mitchell, a pink cake in her hands, smiling nervously at her.

"Happy Birthday." She said.

Chloe was stunned, she stood there with her mouth slightly open, eyes locked on the brunette. Beca remembered her birthday. And she baked that cake for her.

Chloe was in a trance, her heart thumping wildly in her chest. It wasn't until she heard Beca awkwardly clear her throat a little that she realized she was still standing at the door. She snapped back to reality and moved out of the way to let the brunette in.

"Right… uh… sorry, come in!" She was a little embarrassed and her face was turning red.

Beca smiled and walked in.

Chloe closed the door and turned around, seeing that Beca was holding up the cake for her to take, "Happy birthday," she said again, "I figured since you mentioned the cake the other day, what better day to bake it than today? Plus, I can avoid being laughed at when I handle all those horrible pink ingredients if I bake the cake in secret, so I'd say it's a win-win." She joked.

Chloe chuckled lightly, taking the cake and admiring it for a moment. "You still remember my birthday." She whispered.

"Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" Beca looked at her strangely.

Chloe smiled, looking up at Beca, "You should stay and have some cake with me. Do you want to wait for a bit on the couch while I go to the kitchen and cut the cake?"

Beca looked surprised and happy, like she didn't expect that she could stay and share the cake with Chloe. So she quickly nodded and went to the living room.

Chloe watched the brunette walk over to sit on the couch, before going into the kitchen to cut two pieces from the cake. It looked really pretty and delicious, and Chloe giggled when she imagined Beca mixing all the pink ingredients in a bowl with an uncomfortable expression. Her heart was extremely warmed by Beca's sweet gesture.

After putting two pieces of cake in separate plates, she grabbed two forks and went back to the living room with the plates in her hands.

"You know, this cake looks really good and I'm beginning to feel a little disappointed that I didn't get to see you mix all those pink—" Chloe was joking on her way back to the couch but suddenly halted when she saw where the brunette was.

Beca wasn't sitting on the couch anymore. Instead, she was standing near one of the corners of the redhead's living room, next to the guitar, the guitar that she gave to Chloe. And her fingers were touching the strings softly.

Hearing Chloe's voice, Beca immediately retrieved her hand and turned around, looking like a little girl that was caught playing with something she shouldn't be playing. Her mouth opened and closed several times, but nothing came out.

Chloe went to put the plates and forks down on her coffee table and sat down on the couch silently. She then picked up her plate and started eating the cake without a word. Beca hesitantly followed suit, going back to sit on the couch beside Chloe, taking her own plate and beginning to eat as well.

The two sat there eating their cake in silence, until Beca couldn't handle it anymore, "You… you kept the guitar for all these years?" She finally asked in a small voice, eyes fixed on her plate.

"Yes." Chloe answered simply, continuing to finish her cake.

Beca looked up at her, "Why?" Her voice trembled a little.

Chloe felt like she was going to cry, but she refrained herself, "No reason, sometimes I feel like playing the guitar and I'm too lazy to buy a new one." She added a shrug, hoping it was convincing.

Beca was silent for a moment, before she slightly nodded and went back to eating her cake.

The two fell into silence again and Chloe stole a few glances at Beca, seeing that the brunette seemed to be deep in thought. She put down her plate, "Thank you Beca, for the cake. It's really delicious."

Beca smiled, putting down her plate as well and looking up at the redhead, "Anything for you Chloe."

Chloe's heart skipped a beat, and before she could control her mouth, the words slipped out without warning, "Can you play something for me?"

"What?"

"Can you… can you play something on your guitar for me? Consider it as a birthday gift." Chloe didn't know why she asked that, but since it already slipped out, there was no going back.

Beca looked hesitant, but she couldn't find any reason to refuse the request from the birthday girl. How about saying she couldn't remember any songs? No that was just ridiculous… What about she hurt her wrists while baking the cake? Yeah that seemed believable… wait, no, Chloe saw her carry the cake with both of her hands and there was no way she could do that if her wrists were injured... Beca racked her brains but failed to find any reasonable excuses to refuse the redhead. So, with a sigh, she stood up and went to pick up her guitar from the corner before going back to sit down in an armchair across from Chloe.

She took a deep breath and thought hard on which song she was going to play. The truth was, she was scared. She hadn't touched that guitar for so many years and she was worried what Chloe was expecting. Love songs? No, they were just inappropriate. She couldn't let Chloe find out that she was still in love with her, otherwise it would just destroy the friendship they had now. But when it came to the redhead, there only seemed to be love songs that Beca had written about her. During these 8 years, Beca wrote a few more songs about Chloe whenever she missed her. Should she play one of them?

Beca finally decided to pick a subtle one to play for the redhead, so she spent a few seconds tuning the guitar, before singing softly to her only audience.

It's just another night

And I'm staring at the moon

I saw a shooting star

And thought of you

–

I sang a lullaby

By the waterside and knew

If you were here

I'd sing to you

You're on the other side

As the skyline splits in two

I'm miles away from seeing you

Chloe listened intently, without looking away from the brunette for even a second. She watched Beca close her eyes when she sang, and watched her curve her lips into a tiny smile. She had heard the brunette sing on the street and in the bar. But ever since they bumped into each other again, she'd never had the brunette sing to her with her guitar, only for her, without any other audience. And right at this very moment, she felt like she went back to 8 years ago, when Beca would play the guitar and sing to her all the time, in their high school music room, in the backyard of Chloe's house, at their secret spot up on the hill, and through the computer screens when they were miles away from each other. And she suddenly didn't know how she'd survived all these years without Beca singing to her.

Her vision blurred, and realization hit her. She was still in love with Beca. She had never stopped, even though she told herself otherwise countless times and buried all her feelings really deep. And at that moment, those tall and cold walls around her heart started tumbling down all at once.

But I can see the stars

From America

I wonder, do you see them, too?

–

So open your eyes and see

The way our horizons meet

And all of the lights will lead

Into the night with me

And I know these scars will bleed

But both of our hearts believe

All of these stars will guide—

"Why did you come to New York?" Chloe cut Beca off a little too harshly.

"What?" Beca was startled, unsure of what Chloe meant.

"Why did you come to New York, Beca?" Chloe asked again, tears threatening to fall.

"What? I told you, back in LA—"

"I know why you left LA, but you could have gone to any other city. Why New York Beca? Why here?"

Beca was silent, she looked down at the guitar in her hands.

"Tell me, Beca. Why did you choose to come to New York after all these years?!" Apparently Chloe wasn't going to let this go.

"I… because you used to…" Beca was getting frustrated with herself. She was really bad at expressing her feelings, "I don't know what I was hoping okay? I just thought maybe—"

"So you thought maybe I'm still here in New York and you'd probably see me again?" Chloe cut the brunette off again.

Beca didn't know what to say, she didn't understand what was going on. She was playing a song for Chloe just a few seconds ago, and now why did it seem like they were having a fight again? What did she do wrong?

Getting no response from the brunette, Chloe went on, tears glistening on her eyelashes, "You think you could just come back here and… and just somehow waltz back into my life again like nothing happened and everything will be okay? That I will fall in love with you again? Well, jokes on you because guess what?! I've never stopped loving you even if I want to!" Chloe was almost yelling at the end of the sentence, finally failing to hold back her tears.

"You…" Beca was stunned, she couldn't believe her ears.

"And Stacie told me all about your alcohol poisoning Beca! So that's the real reason why you didn't answer my calls or voicemails for 15 days, because you literally couldn't! And why didn't you just call to explain to me? I would have understood! Why did you just throw away our relationship so easily? Did it not mean anything to you?" Chloe cried out, while her shoulders heaved up and down with emotions.

"Chloe…" Beca's heart broke seeing Chloe like this. She reached out a hand to grab Chloe's, but the redhead yanked her hand away.

"No! This time I won't let you get away with this! Just tell me Beca, why didn't you call me back? WHY?!"

"BECAUSE I WAS ASHAMED!" Beca yelled, and then she dropped her voice, defeated, "Don't you see, Chloe? I was ashamed. Because I was a nobody, I still am. And when you looked at me with such expectant eyes, I just couldn't look back knowing I would just be disappointing you, again and again because I was not good enough! And I didn't deserve you to believe in me that much. I couldn't give you the life that others could easily offer you. After I woke up in the hospital and listened to your voicemails, I realized you were right. I was just some pathetic alcoholic that had this unrealistic dream. Hell, I nearly drank myself to death! That's how stupid and pathetic I was. And you would be okay without me, better even because I was just a failure and a mess." Beca whispered with tears in her eyes, looking away from Chloe.

"Why don't you understand, Beca?!" Chloe couldn't believe what she was hearing, "I didn't need other people or some ridiculously luxurious life! And why can't you just believe in yourself? I didn't need anything but your love from you! I just needed you to love me and hold me. And you think I would be better off without you? How I wish that was true as well! Because you know how many times I wanted to smash or throw away this stupid guitar you gave me? But I just couldn't do it and I hated myself for it! I hated myself that I just couldn't get over you, that I'm still in love with you!"

Beca snapped her head back up at the last few words. Tears were streaming down Chloe's face and she was looking at Beca with such vulnerability that clenched Beca's heart but also took her breath away all at the same time.

Beca surged forward and crashed their lips together, in a desperate and tender kiss. Chloe kissed her back immediately with the same need and desperation. All the longing and pent up feelings over the 8 years burst through this kiss and neither of them wanted to break apart.

Eventually, oxygen ran out and Beca reluctantly broke the kiss, but she didn't move far, as if fearing the redhead would disappear and this was just yet another wild dream. She rested her forehead against Chloe's, feeling the redhead's breath on her lips. Her hands were cupping Chloe's cheeks and her thumbs were caressing the redhead's cheekbones so gently as if Chloe was the most delicate and precious flower in the world.

"I loved you with all my heart. I still do because I've never stopped too. Don't ever doubt that." Beca breathed out, with her eyes still closed.

"If you could just believe in yourself a little more," Chloe whispered back, "If you could just love me and let me in, that would have been enough. That was all I need."

"Is—is it still all you need? Because even after 8 years, I still have nothing but my love to give you. If you still want it, if you could give me a second chance, I'll love you with every breath I take and never leave your side ever again." Beca open her eyes. She moved back a little, looking into Chloe's eyes hopefully.

Chloe didn't answer for a while. And Beca's heart started to sink. If Chloe refused, it probably meant that their rekindled friendship was over too. And she was not ready to lose Chloe again.

"I'm scared. I don't want to get hurt again." Chloe finally said in an almost inaudible and trembling voice.

"I know, I'm scared too. And we don't need to rush into anything. Just let me prove to you that you can trust me with you heart this time? Let me prove to you that I'll never hurt you again, that I'll love you every second for the rest of my life? Will you give me this chance?"

After what felt like eternity, Beca's heart almost stopped when she heard Chloe's small voice.

"Okay."