A/N: Hiiiii, sorry for the delay, but as usual, you guys are the best! Thank you for all the wonderful reviews, can't stop smiling while reading them! xx
Chapter 23
"Ugh, I hate being sick." Beca whined, and sneezed a few times violently, feeling like her throat was on fire.
Fat Amy put a glass of water on the counter in front of Beca, looking at the now coughing brunette sympathetically, "You know, you should really stay at home and get some rest. I don't get why you still come here tonight, it's not like you could sing anyway."
Beca blew her nose quite loudly, and picked up the glass that Fat Amy just put down, gulping down half of the water. "I can still play the guitar or the keyboard, I just couldn't sing. My fingers still function pretty well you know." She insisted.
"Even if that's the case, I still don't think it's very good for you to stay for the whole shift until 4am. You need to rest Beca, and get some sleep at normal bedtime." Jesse walked over and sat down on the bar stool next to Beca.
"I'll be fine Jesse, I've already asked for plenty nights off this month, I don't want to—"
"Don't be silly Beca, you need to rest and you know it." Jesse interrupted the brunette, "I've decided to give you 7 nights off, go home and sleep will ya? If you feel bad about missing work, then rest and get better quickly so you can come back sooner."
"What? Jesse that's not necessary!"
Jesse sighed, "I knew you'd be this stubborn, which was why I called your girlfriend to come pick you up and make sure you go home and rest." He finished with a smirk.
Beca's eyes widened, "Chloe? She's… we didn't…" She suddenly got all flustered and burst into another coughing fit.
After finally calming down, she finished the sentence, "We haven't had the talk yet."
"What? I thought you said you were going to ask her to be your girlfriend the other day?!" Jesse was surprised.
"No, I said I would think about it, and I didn't find any opportunity to ask I guess."
"So what are you guys now? Friends that would sometimes make out and kiss in the rain?" Fat Amy teased the brunette.
Beca shot Fat Amy a disapproving look, before sighing lightly, "I don't know." She said honestly, "I'm actually kind of scared to bring up the talk. I feel like it's probably going too fast. I don't know if Chloe is ready and I don't want to scare her away."
"You'll never know if you don't ask her Beca. Talk to her, okay?" Jesse said, "As your personal relationship counsellor, I know Chloe will say yes. For god's sake, you guys have already kissed in the rain, and if that's not screaming relationship I don't know what is."
"Talking about kissing in the rain, I guess movies never tell you that romantic gestures may actually have costs afterwards." Fat Amy chuckled, "You do get sick when you spend too much time in the cold rain in New York, you know?"
"Thanks Amy, I'm learning something new every day." Beca said sarcastically, rolling her eyes slightly.
"To be honest, I always thought Jesse would be the one to pull off this kind of thing. Didn't expect our superstar here to be this romantic." Fat Amy wiggled her eyebrows at Beca.
"All you need is the right person Amy," Jesse said in a sing-song voice, "I've always known that Beca is secretly a romantic softie."
Beca groaned, she seriously needed to stop telling these two things. Having Stacie constantly bugging her about the details of her date with Chloe was annoying enough, now she had to listen to Jesse and Fat Amy tease her about it as well.
"Anyway, I'm not going home Jesse, I told you I could still play." Beca decided to change the topic.
Jesse smirked, seeing Chloe walk into the bar, "Well, that's not up to you anymore young lady, the 'girlfriend' has arrived."
Beca turned her head and instantly smiled seeing Chloe bouncing over to her.
"Hey guys!" The redhead said cheerfully, waving at Jesse and Fat Amy. She then leaned down trying to kiss Beca on the lips, but frowned when Beca turned her head a little to avoid the kiss.
"What's wrong?"
Beca took Chloe's hand and linked their fingers, "I'm sick, Chlo, and this is a contagious disease you know."
Chloe pouted, "I don't mind Becs, I want to kiss you. Plus I feel bad for getting you sick because I forgot to check the weather forecast that day."
Beca laughed at the pouting redhead. She tilted her head and tapped her right cheek with her index finger, "Right here then, Doctor Beale."
Chloe grinned, before happily leaning down to place several light kisses on Beca's right cheek.
"Seriously you two are too cute, I almost can't handle this amount of cuteness." Fat Amy commented from behind the counter, "Trust me, one time I saw a koala nursing a baby kangaroo, and it's not as cute as you guys."
Beca rolled her eyes, standing up to pick up her guitar and trying to go to the stage, but was instantly stopped by the redhead.
"Beca what are you doing?"
"Going to play the guitar, why?" Beca asked.
"Oh no, you are not playing tonight. Jesse told me he gave you 7 nights off to rest, so that's exactly what you are going to do okay?" Chloe went to take the guitar from Beca's hand and put it back in the guitar case.
"But—"
"No buts! Let's get you home and get some sleep, doctor's orders."
"You are a vet and I'm not an animal." Beca smirked.
"We are all animals Beca, and are you questioning my authority?" Chloe feigned offence.
"What? Of course not, I—"
"Then you'd better listen to what I said. People are trying to care for you Becs." Chloe started to pack Beca's stuff, "Now say thank you to Jesse for giving you some nights off and let's go home."
"Fine…" Beca pouted lightly, "Thanks Jesse, and bye guys."
"Stop pouting!" Chloe laughed and leaned in to place another kiss on the corner of Beca's mouth, "I've never seen anyone this unhappy when they don't have to work."
Beca rolled her eyes, and let Chloe drag her towards the door and out of the bar.
After the two left, Fat Amy turned to Jesse and burst into loud laughter, "Oh my God, superstar is WHIPPED."
Jesse smiled, "That's what soulmates look like Amy. I'm telling you, if they don't end up getting married, I'm seriously gonna burn my entire collection of movies!"
Chloe parked her car outside Beca's apartment building and turned to look at Beca, but found that the brunette had already fallen asleep.
"Becs? Beca?" She reached over to touch Beca's cheek trying to wake her up, but instantly frowned because the brunette's cheek felt a little hot.
She then placed her hand on Beca's forehead to feel her temperature, and got a little worried. It seemed that the brunette was having a mild fever.
"Beca." Chloe tried again, this time shaking Beca's shoulder slightly.
Beca stirred and opened her eyes, "Are we here?" She brought up a hand to rub her sore eyes, before coughing a little.
Chloe nodded, "Come on, let's get you home. You seem to have a light fever."
Beca shrugged, "I'll probably just sleep it off, don't worry."
"No you are not going to sleep if off. You need to take some medicine and have someone take care of you. Come on, let's go upstairs." And before Beca could protest, Chloe stepped out of her car, gathered Beca's stuff and helped the brunette out of the car and into the apartment building.
Back in the apartment, seeing the brunette was indeed having a fever after taking her temperature, Chloe let Beca change into her pyjamas and went to the kitchen to get the brunette some water along with some medicine to reduce her fever.
The redhead walked into the bedroom a few minutes later, with a glass of water and a few pills in her hands, seeing Beca had already buried herself under the covers, her cheeks a little red from the fever. She sat down on the bed and put the glass on the nightstand, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss on the brunette's burning cheek, "Come on, Becs, you need to take this medicine, and then you can sleep okay?" She said softly to Beca.
Beca pouted, reluctantly sitting up to take the pills and gulping down the whole glass of water, "I feel dizzy." She lay back down, took Chloe's hand and intertwined their fingers, refusing to let go.
Chloe chuckled, "That's normal Becs, the fever got you a little lightheaded huh?" She used her other hand to tuck Beca in and brush a few strands of brown locks away from her face, "But you'll feel better tomorrow, I promise." She finished and kissed the brunette's forehead gently.
Seeing Beca was shivering a little, Chloe wanted to go and get an extra blanket for Beca but the brunette simply wouldn't let go of her hand.
"Stay." The brunette whispered with her eyes closed.
Chloe smiled. She sat back down on the bed and watched Beca for a while. Not wanting the brunette to feel cold, she decided to go lie down beside Beca and cuddle with her under the covers.
"Is this better? Are you still cold?" Chloe wrapped her arms around Beca's waist from behind, hugging her close.
Beca grinned, shaking her head slightly and letting out a content sigh, while sinking into Chloe's warm embrace.
"Thank you Chlo." Beca whispered after a moment of comfortable silence.
"For what?" Chloe pressed a kiss to the back of Beca's neck and nuzzled into her brown locks.
Beca turned around in Chloe's arms, burying her face into the crook of the redhead's neck. Chloe smiled, she almost forgot that whenever Beca was sick, the brunette tended to be more affectionate and more touchy-feely than her usual self.
"Thank you for taking care of me, and… thank you for finding me again and coming back to me. I'm used to being alone… but it's nice to have someone take care of you I guess."
Chloe's heart broke a little. She didn't say anything, just wrapping her arms around Beca tighter.
After a while, just when Chloe thought the brunette was asleep and tried to move out of the bed, she heard Beca mumble in her feverish state, almost inaudibly, "Please don't leave me."
Chloe blinked back the tears that threatened to fall, tightening her hold and hugging Beca even closer, "I won't. You are not alone anymore, I'm here. I'll take care of you. We'll take care of each other."
Beca hummed, "I love you." She murmured sleepily and not even five seconds after, she slipped into a deep sleep, cuddling into Chloe's side.
Chloe froze. She listened carefully to Beca's breathing, and after hearing it become even and making sure the brunette was indeed asleep, she placed another lingering kiss on Beca's forehead, "I love you too." She whispered, and closed her eyes as well, letting Beca's steady breathing lure her into her own slumber.
Chloe was getting frustrated with herself lately as days went by. She and Beca still hadn't had the talk. And she started to wish that they didn't take things this slow, because now, every time she was so close to bringing it up, she would chicken out and go talk about some other random topics instead. She didn't understand herself. Just a few days ago, she was actually kind of looking forward to the talk and was trying to find the perfect moment to bring it up herself. But now, it seemed like the longer she waited, the longer she spent wondering about what they had now, the more insecure and panicky she would feel. She knew Beca loved her and she was in love with Beca as well, but she just couldn't shake off those stupid insecurities stuck in the back of her mind. They had been there for 8 years, so she guessed that was probably why she was having a such hard time rooting them out. They would appear from time to time, tugging at her heart, making her have doubts, making her swallow the 'I love you' on the tip of her tongue, making her avoid the girlfriend talk whenever she sensed Beca was about to bring it up. She wasn't avoiding the talk because she didn't know what she was going to say, she knew she would say yes anyway because she really wanted to be Beca's girlfriend again. It was just that she didn't want to say yes when she was still having doubts about their future, when she would still wonder if things would work out this time. She wanted to be Beca's girlfriend with all her heart, free of any insecurities, just all in.
And of course, the redhead was so grateful for Beca's patience with her. Her heart warmed knowing Beca was letting her take her time and was waiting for her to be ready, which made her get even angrier with herself. She wanted so bad to become her younger self again from 8 years ago, to completely put her heart out there without any hesitation and to love fiercely without holding back, but clearly that was not how things worked. Now, her subconscious had already built a defence mechanism to protect her heart. She would always wonder about the future. 5 years later, 10 years later, 20 years later… what would happen then? Would they still be in love? How could she be certain that things wouldn't fall apart? How could she know for sure she wouldn't get hurt again? Or worse, what if history repeated itself and they ended up hurting each other just like all those years ago? And the uncertainty terrified her because she couldn't have control over those things. What's worse, she was also scared that if she took too long to be ready, Beca would lose patience and then they wouldn't even have 1 year later, let alone 10 years or 20 years later.
Chloe knew she couldn't keep being indecisive like this, she would have to find a way to get over her insecurities soon, or it wouldn't be fair to Beca. But what she didn't know was that the brunette understood all her concerns and fears. Because Beca used to have all of them as well. She used to fear the unknown, have thousands of doubts and was terrified of changes. But just like Jesse said, life was short, so why should they waste time? She knew what she wanted now. And that was Chloe. She still blamed herself for making Chloe become insecure and guarded, but that was okay. She would show Chloe that she wasn't going anywhere, that she would always be right by the redhead's side from now on.
"Chlo, are you free tomorrow night?" Beca asked from the couch, her phone in her left hand.
"Yeah, I think so. Why?" Chloe walked over from the kitchen to sit down next to the brunette. She had been coming over to Beca's apartment after work to look after the sick brunette for the past few days. The redhead was pleased that Beca recovered rather quickly and was able to sing again, but she still forced Beca to stay at home and rest until the last day of her sick leave instead of going back to work early.
"Luke just texted me, he said that a few of the street musicians were trying to have a small street concert or something like that tomorrow night at the park. He invited me to come and sing a few songs, and I figured since I still have a few days off, I'll drop by. What do you think? Do you want to come?"
"Oh my god! Yes!" Chloe exclaimed, "I love it when you sing on the street."
Beca laughed, "Well, in that case, any special requests? Any songs you specifically want to hear?"
Chloe thought about it for a while before shaking her head, "Nope, I love all of your songs so I can't really pick." She finished with a wide grin, excitement flickering in her eyes.
Beca chuckled lightly and felt her heart flutter inside her chest uncontrollably. Her number one fan was still there after all these years apparently.
Beca was standing in the small crowd at the park with Chloe and listening to other street musicians play their songs, a small smile on her face. She had to admit that she kind of missed singing here. She liked singing at the bar and all, but it was different being out in the open, with people around her who were genuinely interested and would stop in their tracks to listen to her songs. And this time, she would find a pair of familiar cerulean eyes in that small crowd, already waiting to meet her stormy blues, and it was starting to make her feel a little giddy with excitement.
She was still contemplating which songs to sing, when Luke's voice brought her out of her reverie.
"Ladies and gentlemen, now let's welcome my good friend, Beca Mitchell to sing a few of her songs."
Chloe immediately let out a few high-pitched squeals, bouncing on the balls of her feet while clapping loudly, which earned a few strange glances from the people around them.
Beca laughed. She bent down to grab her guitar and looked over at the excited redhead, seeing that her baby blue eyes were glinting with anticipation and enthusiasm. And in that fleeting moment, Beca suddenly decided to play that new song she had just finished writing.
Technically, this song still needed some final touches, but Beca felt there wouldn't be another perfect moment like now to play this song for Chloe. It was written for the redhead of course. A lot of songs that Beca wrote lately was about the redhead that was back in her life. And this song, she hoped this song could play a significant role in their relationship and give it a needed push; she hoped this song could convey all her unspoken words, and she knew Chloe would get them loud and clear like she always did.
So Beca leaned in and whispered in Chloe's ear, "Listen to the lyrics Chlo." And with that, she quickly pulled back and walked over to stand in front of the crowd, preparing to play her song.
Chloe blinked. She watched Beca tune her guitar a little, and her heart was suddenly pounding against her chest as if it was hammering its way out. Why would Beca want her to listen to the lyrics? Which song was the brunette going to play?
Beca finished tuning her guitar and looked up at the small crowd, "Well, the first song I want to sing is a new one that I've just finished writing. It was written for my crazy fan standing right there." She grinned at Chloe and winked, making the redhead blush a little. And a few people from the crowd chuckled lightly.
"The song is called Mystery." Beca said softly, locking eyes with Chloe and starting to strum her guitar.
Hearing the melody, Chloe immediately perked up. It was different from Beca's old songs. She wondered if this was the song that Beca was talking about during their rooftop date the other day. And there was something else in there, something… enchanting and peaceful, like it was trying to convey something, telling some inenarrable sentiment. The melody was soft and soothing, yet it captivated the redhead's entire being before she even knew it.
And then, Beca opened her mouth, starting to hum along and softly sing the words.
When you look at me, I see you contemplating
Whether I'm gonna break your heart
I'm twenty-six, I'm pretty sure I'll love you when I'm eighty
But who wants to see that far?
Chloe wasn't even aware that she was holding her breath. She listened intently to every word Beca hummed out, watching Beca wink at her when she sang; watching the brunette lightly tap her left foot on the ground. And she giggled when she heard Beca sing out the words that said she would love her when she was eighty, feeling tingles travel through her whole body.
What happens to you? What happens to me?
Who knows which way the wind will blow
Baby, it's a mystery
–
I don't know cause I can't see
There's no point even talking about
It's a mystery
But I can say without a doubt
I want you right now
Realization suddenly hit Chloe. Beca was indeed trying to tell her something through this song. The brunette wanted her to know that she understood all her insecurities and fears, towards their relationship, towards their unknown future. And Chloe felt a little amazed, that Beca could read her and understand her this well even though she didn't talk about those things with the brunette, not even a single word. Yet Beca just somehow knew what she was thinking, what she was feeling and what she was fearing. And this fact no longer terrified her. Instead, it made her heart beat more steadily and more surely in her chest, knowing there was someone out there that would understand the meaning behind her every frown and notice every subtle sign of her emotions; someone that could decipher every expression in her eyes without even having to say a single word.
It don't matter how much you try to scheme and plan
Too many things, my love, that are out of our hands
–
What happens to you? What happens to me?
Who knows which way the wind will blow
Baby, it's a mystery
I don't know cause I can't see
There's no point even talking about
It's a mystery
But I can say without a doubt
I want you right now
Chloe let out a small breath as tears welled in her eyes. At that very moment, her fears, worries and insecurities all crumbled to dust beneath her feet. They no longer lingered in her mind, constantly tugging at her heart and she finally stepped out from the shadow of the past. She finally realized that she needed to live in the present. Not the past, not the future, but right now. The future would still be uncertain and unpredictable yes, but that was okay. Because she wasn't alone anymore, she had Beca by her side. So instead of wasting time worrying about the unknown, she just needed to take a leap of faith, and she knew Beca would be there, waiting for her with a big smile and taking her hand while never letting it go.
And with every note, every word in this song, she felt like Beca was slowly picking up the pieces of her broken heart and putting them back together again. She suddenly wanted to laugh because people always said that it was impossible to mend a shattered heart to the way it used to be, that it would always stay somewhat broken. But she knew that was not true now, because Beca was doing it, she was mending her heart, piece by piece, until Chloe felt like she was finally truly alive again, and her heart was beating stronger than ever in her chest, ready to love, and to be loved again.
I want you right now
The song ended. Chloe looked up at the grinning brunette, her own lips lifting upwards into a dazzling smile as well.
Her heart was ready.
She was ready.
A/N: The song is Mystery by Tom Odell.