Authors Note: Brace yourself for hilarity and crude explanations of "English" words.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his universe were created by the wonderful J.K. Rowling. The Hobbit, and all characters associated with his writing are the work of the brilliant and masterful J.R.R Tolkien.

Everything else belongs to me.

Thorin watched as the siblings returned with the she devils things. To his assessing gaze all three looked as if the weight of Arda rested on each of their shoulders. The she devils looked grave and uncertain, yet even from where he stood he could see determination and what looked to be a heavy amount of stubbornness shinning like the light Eärendil in her oddly coloured eyes. The two males on the other hand looked terrified despite their best efforts to appear just as determined as their sister. Whatever conversation they'd had while collecting her things had clearly not been about nargles; whatever nargles were.

Thorin watched as the girl's eyes suddenly began to scan the area and it didn't take him long to realise that she had once again sensed someone watching her and was now searching for the person. Despite having seen similar behaviour in a few of her companions already it still came as a great shock to him that people so young had seen enough of war to make them constantly aware of their surroundings; behaviour he himself had only ever seen in the most seasoned of warrior's. He couldn't begin to imagine what sort of world they must have come from, where those so young were involved in war, and he was glad that he would never have to see such a place. He lowered his eyes to avoid detection but continued to watch her in a manner that would not give him away. Thorin wasn't altogether certain what it was about this sister that did not sit well with him but there was something about her that unsettled him and gave him the distinct impression that she would bring little else but trouble to their journey.

And that was the last thing they needed.

"They will continue to travel with us." Gandalf said as he came to stand by him, looking unaffected by the events that had just taken place.

Thorin hesitated for a fraction of a second on whether he should ask, but in the end decided that he would be able to use what he could read in Gandalf expression to further form an opinion of the girl—one that was not shrouded in suspicion.

"What do you make of the girl?"

Thorin watched Gandalf carefully, noting the unmistakable flicker of surprise in the wizard's eyes and the way his eyes began to sparkle with mischief soon afterwards. His answer, when it finally did come, only served to deepen his growing sense of unease. "I think that she is a very unique individual, more than even she herself is aware of." He turned his twinkling eyes on him. "She is going to be of great use on this quest." The twinkling intensified. "As long as you continue to treat the others with some form of decency and you do not treat her as you did the others, that is." The wizards lip twitched. "If you're not on your best behaviour you will soon find yourself beardless."

His grasp on his tamper frayed a little. He was tired of being constantly berated and threatened for his behaviour towards the wizards; especially when he had warned Gandalf that he would not go out of his way to make people that he did not trust feel welcome. He had swallowed his words once before, but he would not do so again. "I grow wearisome of your constant scolding and their threats Gandalf." He spat. "I warned you what would occur when you brought them into camp that night and rather than warn them or take into consideration that I was not jesting you allowed them to walk blindly into our journey." The air around them grew thick as his anger threatened to completely spill over. "I regret that my behaviour added to the weight they already bore but I will not seek forgiveness for something that I warned you would and could occur and I will not continue to take threats laid at my door so lightly."

Rather than wait to wait to hear how Gandalf could possibly justified his actions, Thorin spun on the heels of his boots and headed straight for the she devils, his teeth grinding as he fought to regain some control over her own anger.

Damned wizards.

He could do without the whole lot of them!

There was a brief flicker of unease in the girl's eyes as he approached but it vanished so quickly that Thorin wondered if he hadn't been seeing things. "I will give you the warning that I should have given your companions when they first arrived, instead of relying on Gandalf." His words were sharper than he intended them to be, but it was obvious by her expression that she either did not mind or was used to such things. "I do not trust easily and despite what your kind have done for me and mine I can yet find any reason to extend such regard towards you."

The corners of her mouth twitched and Thorin wasn't sure he cared for the gleam in her eyes. " I wouldn't have expected anything less but thank you for your honesty."

The nature of her comment and the fact that he could not detect any lie in her words took him by surprise. He could not remember a time (if such a thing had ever even occurred) when someone appreciated his candor. Those that that had ever been on the receiving end of his directness generally tended to return it with open hostility and anger, not with any kind of thankfulness.

"I will give you the same courtesy that you gave me by warning you that I have temper that could rival some dwarfs and I have a tendency to swing first and take names and ask questions later." Her companions and even some of his men chuckled at the girl's words. "So as long as you don't go out of your way to be a complete arse we shouldn't have an issue."

Just like with the redhead, there was a small part of him –and he did mean small– that found her bluntness amusing and were it not for the fact that his men were watching, and she had called him something from her own language he might have actually smiled. The rest of him however was not at all amused and did not appreciate the fact that she had called him something that he could not completely react to because he could only grasp the sentiment behind the word—which was obviously not complimentary.

"The words that you and your kin keep calling me," He paused searching for a way to explain what he meant. "The ones that are not in Westron…what are their meaning?" Thorin wasn't altogether certain what prompted him to ask this question. Perhaps it was because he was unaccustomed to not knowing when someone was insulting him or perhaps it was merely idle curiosity. But for whatever the reason, he intended to find out here and now.

"What's he on about?" The equally blunt redheaded woman said from somewhere behind him, confusion in her voice.

Lila huffed out a sound that was clearly one of amusement. "Apparently not everything we say is translating into Westron. I would imagine it's because some of our words don't exist in their language." Her mismatched eyes looked at something just behind his shoulder. "And before you ask, Westron is the language you've been speaking this entire time." While he couldn't see the faces of her friends just behind him, he was certain that it mirrored that of her siblings; open mouthed gawking.

"Wait, so we haven't been speaking English this whole time?" The one they called Ron choked out in a surprised voice.

Had Thorin not been watching the girl so closely he would have certainly missed the subtle change in Lila's demeanor and body language as her mind responded to the boy's question. Feet now braced farther apart, she folded her hands behind her and stood in such a way that reminded him of Balin when he lectured. "No, at least not the Queen's English. We've been speaking Westron, which is the common speech, and is the closest thing to a universal language that Middle Earth has."

"But we're not speaking it the entire time?" Harry questioned.

She shook her head. "No, as I said some of the words in our language must not be translating, so they're still in our tongue." The girl must have sensed that more questions were on the horizon because she quickly added. "I'll answer any questions you have later Granger."

The Granger woman huffed and muttered something he couldn't quite make out.

"As for your question." She said, as she directed her attention back to him, her eyes glittering in such a way that told Thorin he was not going to like what she had to say and that she was going to enjoy it immensely. Looking him dead in his eyes, she said "An arse is what you lot refer to as your bottom." Well that was not as bad as he thought it would be…in fact he had heard far worse insults from children and had been called worse if memory served him correctly, and it did. "As for wanker it's a bloke who whacks off a lot, but it's mostly just used as general insult now and not so much in the literal sense." She must have realised that her meaning was once again not coming across when he gave her a confused look, for she then endeavored to explain through gestures just what the word meant...

Eru's beard, Thorin could actually feel his face begin to heat under his beard! How could any woman say and do such things and not even be remotely embarrassed by such a display? Or enjoy it as much as she was? And she was! Though her expression was completely neutral, Thorin could plainly see in her different coloured eyes that she was silently laughing, hard.

And they accuse Dwarf women of being ill mannered and crass.

Blaise watched with barely contained amusement as Lila attempted to explain what a wanker was to Thorin and couldn't help think how evil his sister could be when she wanted to be. He was positive that Thorin wouldn't be asking what it was they were calling him anytime soon, but he also got the distinct impression from Kíli and Fili's mischievous expressions that they would be asking a lot more questions about the swear words in their language.

Judging by some of the flabbergasted looks on some of the dwarves faces, Draco very much doubted that the dwarves of Erebor would ever be the same as they watched his sister demonstrate what it meant to be a bloke that wanked too much. He wasn't altogether certain that he would be the same but any embarrassment he felt was well worth the expression on Thorin's face.

Harry felt his control slip when Ginny joined in on the demonstration by informing Lila that she was doing it all wrong, and that it "was more like this." He wasn't sure how long any of them were going to last in holding in their laughter if the pair of them kept at it.

Ron toppled backwards off the rock he'd been sitting on when his sister joined in and he finally lost it. His laughter echoed around the clearing and was eventually joined by the others as his own amusement triggered a domino like effect. He didn't' care how many dirty looks the dwarves shot at him or how nasty they were to them afterwards, the entire situation made up for what the dwarves had put them through and he'd be damned if he wasn't going to laugh.

Authors Note: Oh dear...those poor dwarves! I hope you all enjoyed the chapter (I know I enjoyed writing it)! Next chapter is already done and will be up sometime over the weekend or early next week.