A super special thanks to all the people who left comments on Part One. I wasn't expecting to get so much feedback. Especially so soon after posting. I'm particularly surprised by the fact that the feedback was overwhelmingly positive. But you guys are right, I'm pretty much the best ever. *buffs nails on shirt*

Continuing right where we left off...

So, you wanna write a badfic...

Part 2

Welcome back, gents and ladies! You've posted your first chapter and received a few reviews and you're pumped to keep going. Only problem is, you're not sure how to proceed. Well, worry not, for I have witnessed your plight and extended the guide.

Before we get started, listen carefully because this is important. Any badfic author knows that if you're going to write a multi-chaptered fic, there's one crucial element that you absolutely, positively cannot forget...

Step Six: OCs. Lots of OCs. Bountiful OCs.

Katara managed to arrive just before the bell. She entered her first period classroom and was greeted by her best friend, Ka7tlynn. (Now, we could have used somebody who's actually Katara's friend in canon here, like Aang or Toph or Suki or even Yue, but why do that when you can smother your reader with your sparkly, original, snowflake babies. Bonus points if the characters you use are your friends in real life.) "Hey, Lynn," Katara greeted back. (For some reason I went through the trouble of telling you that Lynn's full name is Ka7tlynn even though you'll never see it used ever again from this point on.)

Lynn was one of Katara's oldest friends. She had fiery red hair and freckles (is this even A:TLA anymore?) and bright green eyes. She wore dark gray skinny jeans and black combat boots (this is the only other acceptable footwear outside of Converse) and a Black T-shirt baring text that read "Bite Me". Lynn was a rebel and also the lead guitarist in a band that Katara sang for from time to time. (Katara has never sung in canon but let's pretend she's really good at it because that makes her cool.) The other members of the band were Kyle, who played bass, Amanda—who goes by 'Manda—on keyboard, Cody on drums, and Niall Horan.

"How's your latest project coming along?" Lynn asked, referring to Katara's programming.

Katara sat down at the desk next to her friend. "It should be done soon. My dad and brother are gonna be gone all week, so I'll have plenty of uninterrupted time to work on it."

Step Seven: Character bashing is a must. Maybe you always hated a certain pairing. Perhaps you thought Sokka should've been with Toph, or Ty Lee, or Aunt Wu. Maybe you think Suki is a skanky whore. Well, here's your chance to vent your frustrations.

"Oh, you're working on something? Care to share?"

Katara narrowed her eyes at the new voice. It belonged to Suki, the fakest bitch in school. Katara hated Suki. Sokka had dated her on and off, and to Katara's annoyance, they were currently 'on'. It sickened Katara to know that this girl was who Sokka was screwing every night. (Here would be a good place to explain Katara's clear disdain for Suki, especially considering that Suki is a friend and valued teammate of Katara's in the canon, but meeeh. Also, wow, that's a lot of screwing.)

"No. Buzz off," Katara retorted, turning her chair so that her back was to the other girl.

Step Eight: Predictability is your cow. Milk that shit.

The teacher walked into the room then and clapped his hands, getting the students' attention. "Listen up, kids," he called as the murmuring in the room petered out. "Today we're going to start our unit on eukaryotes." Some students groaned at this. "But before that, I have a new student to introduce."

The door opened, and in walked a very familiar figure.

It's that guy from earlier! Katara thought to herself, surprised that the same boy she'd collided with on her way to school would be transferring into her class.

Step Nine: No, really. Milk that shit.

"This is Zuko Agni. He just transferred here from Sozin High," the teacher explained. He turned to Zuko then. "Would you like to introduce yourself?"

The boy stepped forward and his eyes immediately locked with Katara's. "Hi," he said in his deep, sexy voice—(what do you mean Dante Basco doesn't sound like that?)—"my name's Zuko. Nice to meet you."

The teacher waited a moment, but Zuko didn't continue. "Alright," he said, taking charge again. "Well, there appears to be an empty seat right there." He pointed at the desk in front of Katara. "So how about we make that your seat from here on."

Katara gulped as Zuko nodded and made his way over to the place where she was sitting. He nodded to her, his golden eyes swimming with untamed handsomeness and wild boyness, and then pulled out the chair from his new desk and sat down.

It just occurred to me that I'm putting too much effort into my writing. A good badfic writer knows to keep it elementary and not include extraneous details like...well, any at all, really. Unless it's to describe 1) clothing, 2) how sexy someone is, or 3) interactions (ie, longing gazes, smiles, etc.) between the characters we care about.

I shall now fix this problem by removing all unneeded details from the preceding paragraphs.

The teacher entered. "Listen up, kids! Today we have a new student."

A very familiar figure walked into the room.

It's that guy from earlier! Katara thought.

"This is Zuko Agni. He just transferred here from Sozin High. Would you like to introduce yourself?"

The boy's eyes locked with Katara's. "Hi," he said in his deep, sexy voice. "My name's Zuko. Nice to meet you."

"Okay. Go sit over there." The teacher pointed at the desk in front of Katara.

Katara gulped as Zuko walked over to the place where she was sitting. He stared at her sexily and sat down.

Much better.

[Insert awkward transition]

Later that day, Katara and Lynn were walking to their usual lunch spot and talking about the new boy. (See, everything else in their lives is unimportant in the face of the sexy man-treat that is Zuko, so we can just skip over that stuff.)

"I wonder why he transferred?" Katara pondered.

"I don't know. He's so mysterious," Lynn answered. (There is not actually anything particularly mysterious about Zuko as he has been described up until this point, but a good badfic writer doesn't have a problem with getting a little ahead of his/herself.)

Step 10: (See steps 8 and 9.)

Just then, they saw the hot new student walking toward them, lunch in hand. He appeared to be headed to the same spot where they usually ate.

The two of them walked over to him and Lynn cleared her throat. "Um, hi. Zuko, right?"

He nodded. "Yeah. And you are?

"Name's Lynn."

Zuko looked at Katara and the sapphire-eyed girl felt a flutter in her chest at the intensity of his liquid gold gaze. "And you?"

"Katara," she answered, getting lost in his eyes. (This is another necessary line. Use frequently.) "Um, sorry about before."

Step 11: Your couple isn't believable unless they are perfectly compatible in every single way.

Zuko shrugged. "It's fine. I can take a little damage as long as my computer is okay." He opened his bag and pulled out a laptop.

Katara's eyes widened. "Wow, that's a nice PC," she remarked. She recognized the model. It was even more powerful than her own.

"Yeah, I spend a lot of time on it," Zuko said, patting it fondly.

"What do you do?" she asked curiously.

"I write code, mainly. It's my hobby."

Katara's interest was peaked. (Should actually be 'piqued', but we don't have time to verify our word choice. I know we're all very busy people.) "Hey, me too! What sort of stuff do you write?"

Zuko smiled, clearly pleased to meet someone else like him. "How about you come by my place later and I'll show you," he suggested.

Katara excitedly agreed. She couldn't wait!

Okay, this is getting long and we're getting impatient again. Refer back to Step Five and let's close this shit.

Wow! What a totally believable chain of events. Give yourself another pat on the back. That was a great chapter. In fact, you're so excited to hear how much your readers loved your chapter that you're going to hold your story hostage again for even more reviews. Here is an example of a typical second chapter ransom note:

I hope you liked chapter 2! I worked really hard, so please review! Remember, I won't update until 20 people review, so make sure you do! ;)

Spiffy! Now you're on the road to being a truly great badfic writer. Keep up the awesome work!

I'll see you again in Part 3! (a veeery heavy maybe)

Real Author's Note:

Dear lord, you have no idea how painful it was to write this. I had to stop several times and ask myself, "Why am I doing this, again?" but then I'd strengthen my resolve and soldier on. I wanted to give up so hard. You don't even know. I could feel my soul die a little with every word.

I may or may not continue this still. I really don't know. I guess we'll see. It is fun, despite the agony.

Till next time,

Advocaat