Chapter 7. Do you want to marry me?
A/N. I have to say it: this Ginny is a bit like me. I hate big show proposals, I hate that a woman has to wait for a man to do it, and I don't hate jewellery but I almost never wear it. Not even my wedding ring. I know that my headcanons are a bit peculiar. Still, I hope you like what I've done with them.
St. Mungo's, June 2000
"Harry? Do you hear me?"
"I do," answered a dumbfounded Harry, and no sooner had he said the words than he realised they could be misinterpreted. "I mean, I do hear you, not I do want to marry you-" Ginny immediately looked hurt, so he quickly amended, "No, I didn't mean I won't marry you! Of course I will! I love you, it's just… it was the shock! I thought you were going to break with me and… Merlin!" he let out a big huff, "I'm so relieved, but I never expected… Marriage! Are… are you sure?"
"I am. I'm not going to ditch you, Potter. I'm quite fond of you, and I have learned from past errors. The time we spent apart was the worst of my life, so I guess I'm stuck with you for the rest of it. Why not do it official?" said Ginny, smiling.
Harry opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of the water. "But… but…?"
"What? While you were sleeping, I spent the major part of the night thinking over it, and I think it's the perfect solution! And anyway, it's not like I've just had the idea. I've been pondering it since I found out that Genevieve was going to announce her retirement this summer."
"Genevieve? What's she got to do with this?"
"Because one of the cottages reserved for married players is going to be free."
Oh. Harry immediately understood the implications. Due to the Harpies' strict policy about personal life of the players, they were bound by contract to live either at the team's staff quarters, if they were single, or at one of the little cottages near the stadium, if they were in a stable relationship. This was supposed to reinforce the team's familiar, hardworking, scandal-free reputation. Being the only all-female team of the League meant they attracted unwanted attention from reporters who pried into the private life of the players and nobody wanted that. So Ginny had shared a bedroom with Grace, the reserve Seeker, since she left Hogwarts and got signed by the Harpies. While the two got on well enough, Harry knew that Ginny hated living under the quarters' rules, which included curfew, meals schedule and Florence the caretaker, who rivalled Filch in nosiness. Ginny always complained she had had enough of all that after seven years at Hogwarts.
But marriage seemed a commitment too strong for somebody so young as them… Of course, Harry had dreamed with it, even toyed with the idea of bringing it up with her, but he had always placed it somewhere in a distant future. Gringotts had yet to lift the ban that prevented him from accessing his vault, the issue of compensations still not resolved because apparently, nobody could put a price to a guardian dragon. He earned enough from his work at the Ministry and his occasional help at Wheezes to live and save gold for buying a house, but he was far from affording it yet. Or a ring... Now he came to think of it, weren't witches supposed to expect a traditional, on-bended knee, diamond ring-bearing proposal from their wizards?
"Er… Gin, Merlin knows nothing would make me happier than living together, and I am more than eager to move in with you, but, aren't we too young to get married? Or are you intending to have a long engagement?" Harry knew that just making the commitment public would be enough to get the cottage. "And by the way, don't you want me to propose to you? Something romantic, with a ring, previously asking permission from your father, that sort of thing?"
Ginny released Harry's hands and doubling over, she laughed out loud. Harry did not know if he should feel amused or offended. But soon, the corners of his mouth twitched and he joined her in mirth. He loved seeing her happy and carefree.
"What's so funny? I know I would be pitiful, but a man's got to do what he has to do, right?" he said, mocking offence.
"Oh, dear," said Ginny, wiping tears, "you're the sweetest guy, but you couldn't do romance to save your life. Luckily for you, I am a girl who doesn't wear jewellery, much less hypothetical engagement rings, or any rings at all that would get in the way of Chaser's gloves. I also think that broom polish is the perfect gift, like to get sloshed on Valentines' Day and don't give a Gurdyroot about meaningless traditions. If I think marrying it's a great idea, I am not going to wait for you to propose it, and why the hell should you go down or your knee, or ask my father before? In fact, I'm not planning on telling my parents until it's practically all said and nearly done."
"Do you want to elope?", asked Harry, remembering Bill and Fleur's wedding, the only one he had attended. He could very well do without all the stress and preparations, but on the other hand, it would be nice to have all his friends reunited. Harry did not know how to have one thing without the other.
"Nope. If you agree, we will be married two months from now, on my birthday. We won't make the engagement public, I want to avoid Skeeter meddling and nosing at all costs," said Ginny, grinning, with a glint of mischief in her eyes.
This is the Gin I know and love, thought Harry. "I can tell you have something under your sleeve, Weasley. Two months? How are we going to prepare a wedding in two months?"
"By not calling it a wedding."
"I'm all ears."
"Listen then. This year, your birthday falls on a Monday, worst day for a party. We will tell everyone we're throwing a joint birthday party on mine, which falls on a Friday, conveniently so. Nobody will suspect anything: it makes sense having only one party, the dates are close enough and everybody knows how busy we always are. Once we have all our family, friends and plenty of food at the Burrow, we simply announce a change in the plan, tie the knot, celebrate it all the night and then leave for Almeria, where we can spend a few days alone on honeymoon before I join my teammates in summer training camp. Where, as my husband, you will be allowed to stay! It's perfect! You will love Spain."
"I would love it no matter the place," said an enthusiastic Harry. "It's brilliant!"
"Yeah! And when camp's over, we will move into the cottage! It's small, it has only two bedrooms, but it's cosy, and enough for the both of us. We could have Teddy to sleep over! Gwenog and Rachel are raising little Matt in the neighbouring cottage; they could be friends and play together! Oh, I can't wait to live with you… we'll have dinner together every day, and breakfasts in the morning… I'll take care of the laundry if you take over the kitchen, you're a better cook than me…"
Harry listened to Ginny excitedly describing their future life, but something she had said had made him wonder… there was more to marriage than shared breakfasts.
"Gin…" he said.
She did not hear him. "And we could sleep together at the Burrow, and you could come with me on my travels, if you're not on assignment…"
"Gin, do you… did you think about… Ginny!" he called, and he finally got her attention.
"What?"
"Have you thought… about children?"
The change on her face was evident. She averted her eyes, and clasped her hands together. Harry waited without saying a word. Eventually, Ginny spoke. "No. Well, yes, but…" she exhaled a breath, and finally stared at him. "I… I don't know if I want to have kids, Harry… not yet, of course, but even after some years… I dunno. Quidditch is more than my job, it's my passion… I know you love children, but…"
"I don't know if I want to have children either, Gin."
Ginny's eyes widened in surprise. "But… we've never discussed it, but I supposed…" Now it was her turn to be speechless, but it did not last long. "You like being with kids, and you're good with them, so I figured you would want to have babies of our own, one day… I was afraid of telling you I wasn't decided, but… you?" The incredulity in her voice was palpable.
Harry sighed. "Yeah, kids are great, and it's fun having them over, but… when they get tired, or difficult, or sick, you just give them back. When Teddy throws a tantrum, or Victoire gets colicky, I quickly look for Andromeda, Bill or Fleur."
"Not always. I've seen you deal with more than one tantrum and just the other day, you got Vic to sleep just fine," said Ginny. "I didn't tell you at the moment, but I found another side of you capable of turning me on." She winked at him.
"You showed me afterwards all right," chuckled Harry before going on. "If we have children, we will be the ones to get them back… and I don't know if I could be a good father. I…" he felt a lump in his throat, and said no more.
"You didn't have a father of your own to base your experience on, am I right?" Ginny said kindly, displaying once again her unerring ability to read his mind.
Still fighting the lump, Harry nodded. "Children are a great responsibility. You have to do your best to raise them, give them a good childhood and cover all their needs. And then one day they fly off, just like Healer O'Reilly said. Off to a life of their own, in a world where evil will never be completely eradicated. Where they are going to suffer no matter how hard you try to protect them. Where one day Death will make us leave them behind, or even worse-" Harry recalled the Weasleys, the Creeveys, the Browns and many other parents at the funerals of their sons and daughters, and had to force back the lump harder- "Death could take them from us…"
He stopped to recompose himself. It seemed a bit stupid to get all emotional about life and death of non-existent children that they were not sure they wanted to have in the first place, but he could not help it. He stared down at the blankets, fiddling with a frayed edge. He only raised her head when he heard Ginny sniffing and looking for a handkerchief inside her bag. She blew her nose, paused looking at the cloth and then let out a watery laugh.
"O'Reilly was right; wether they are from joy or grief, tears will become bogies just the same," and with that, both of them erupted in laugh at the same time, the nervous tension breaking off.
"I have to say, from that point of view, having a child seems like the craziest, most selfish decision one could ever make, doesn't it?" said Ginny, casting a Tergeo on the handkerchief before pocketing it. "Why bring a baby into this mad world when there are plenty already born that you can borrow from their parents?" Harry found himself nodding in agreement. "Being an aunt, you have all the fun and minimal worries. Not to mention, I still feel chills every time I remember the day Teddy was born, urgh!" she grimaced. "That did not look easy or pain free at all. And yet, sometimes, when Teddy changes his hair to look like you, or when I am holding Victoire, I can't help to wonder… to dream with having a baby, you know?"
Harry nodded at this, too. "I don't remember Remus happier than the night Teddy was born. Most desperate, too, than when he knew he was going to be a father and tried to skip his responsibilities going on the Horcrux hunt with us. It's a good thing he eventually saw sense and returned home with Tonks."
"You mean you knocked said sense almost literally into him, don't you?" said Ginny, snickering. "Tonks told me," she said, answering his unspoken question.
"It may be a hell of a job, but parents should stick to their children. When I see your father, proud of every one of you…
"Even of the prat ones," remarked Ginny.
"Well, yes," he chuckled. "Or, take your brother Bill. I've seen plenty of people scared and frightened under the worst attacks and dangers. Nothing compared to the face of your brother when Fleur's waters broke at the remembrance ceremony at Hogwarts. And no joy like his, when he got out of the hospital wing holding the baby and showed her to us. I felt… envious. I wondered if it would be worth, after all. I still don't have an answer, Gin."
She nodded and chewed her lip. "I think… maybe we should reach an agreement."
"How's that so?" asked Harry.
"Well, let's go over the wedding vows. Marriage implies mutual respect, fidelity…"
"Not a problem with that. I respect you deeply and have no desire to look at other women. Or men," he grinned.
"Good to know," laughed Ginny. "Same here. Secondly, we have to take care of each other in sickness and in health, stick together in richness and in poorer."
"We've already done that before. You've got some Bludgers blunders on your account, too. And about the gold, I'm lucky to marry you, because you make much more than I, plus you provide free housing. You're quite a catch, Weasley!"
Ginny's cackle was louder this time. "Right you are, Potter, I am. Now, back to serious things, that leaves only the promise to love, support and comfort each other whatever the future may bring. I have to say this… I know we are young, but our parents were, too, when they got married. And we've lived more than many people older than us. I feel ready to take that step with you. About children, or whatever the future may bring us… we'll decide together when the occasion presents itself, shall we?"
Harry gazed at her. She was calm and firm, she had fought to be at his side after fearing for his life once again, after feeling excluded and shunned. Yet instead of chucking him, she wanted to tie the knot. Harry imagined himself going home every day after work to cook dinner for both of them and not for George and Ron. Sleeping every night with her, and not alone in the bunk bed at Fred's old bedroom. Going on holidays together, making plans with her. Having children, or not having them at all… that could wait. All that mattered was the chance to be with her and have his own family, just the two of them…
"Ginevra Molly Weasley, I will marry you," he said, and next second, the woman in question had leapt onto him and proceeded to snog him, heedless of his injuries. Harry did not mind, until he winced in pain and Ginny sprang apart from him, breathless. "Oh, sorry! I should have been more careful."
"I'm not complaining," said Harry, catching his breath, too. "So, it's true? We're getting married in two months?"
He still could not believe his luck. He recalled the time at that other wedding, when he imagined Ginny marrying a faceless man, because he wouldn't dare to dream of a future with her. And now the man was no longer faceless… it was he! He would jump and whoop of joy, if it was not for the fact that he was bedridden.
"We are," replied Ginny. "We have to work out some details. We won't make the engagement public, but we need to tell a few indispensable people. I need my two bridesmaids to help me with the dress, for instance. You will want to tell your best man and your boss. So we'll have Hermione, Luna, Kingsley and I'm guessing you'll make Ron best man, maybe Neville groomsmen, as accomplices. Kingsley will have to grant you permission for the honeymoon, and he can get us a marriage license discreetly, even officiate the ceremony. Is it ok with you?"
"More than ok. Better Kingsley than any priest we don't know. But good luck trying to find a wedding dress without alerting Skeeter's radar. I swear that woman has a spy in every wizard shop. She once wrote an article about my stationery choice and concluded I was cheating on you with the attendant at the post office!"
"She deserved the package of maggots I sent her. What?" she said, eyeing Harry's face of surprise. "I took a leaf out of Kreacher's book. But don't worry; I'm not intending to buy anything. I will wear my mother's gown, only I will alter it a bit. I will take off the sleeves and shorten the skirt over the knees. My mother will forgive us immediately for keeping the wedding secret the moment she sees me wearing her dress. She bought it from a Muggle second hand shop, back in the sixties. When I was a little girl, I used to get it out the wardrobe and try it on. It has the most beautiful flowers sewn in the tulle. As for the rest… we will send invitations to what will seem an ordinary birthday party. Luna can make me a bouquet out of wildflowers, and I will put some in my hair. I wouldn't bother with rings, truth be told, but if you like them, you can take care of that in a muggle shop. Personally, I like that new muggle fashion of getting them tattooed, seems practical. And I think that's all we need to get married."
"You really put a lot of thought into this, didn't you?" said an amused Harry. Did you think about what I should wear? I don't see myself into robes, to be frank."
"Wear whatever takes your fancy, we want to be comfortable and have fun. If I get to choose, I'd go for those amazing jeans that make me want to grab your bum, and a simple white shirt. You'll be the one greeting the guests outside while I get ready upstairs and tell my family what we're about to do, it would be weird if you wore dress robes, wouldn't it?"
"You truly don't care about traditions," he laughed, and then he got serious. "Gin, are you sure this is what you want? No matching ribbons, no music band, no birds flying off a golden marquee?"
"Don't remind me of that bloody birds, one dropped its crap on my shoulder," said Ginny, rolling her eyes. "I said I didn't care about meaningless traditions. We will put the wireless on, dance whatever it blurts out and stuff our faces with my mother's cooking. Ribbons, fancy bridesmaid dresses and balloons are totally superfluous, what matters here is that you and me will get bonded for life, and we'll share the moment with the people we love. But-" she smiled an gazed at him in a peculiar way "-there's one tradition I will follow, because it's meaningful for me."
"What is it?"
"I'd like to keep my name when I'm on a broom at the quidditch pitch, but outside it… there are enough Weasleys to pass on the name, but only one Potter."
His heart flipped when he heard that. He had not expected this. He frequently called her Weasley, and she called him Potter, like they did at quidditch practice at Hogwarts. She was very proud of her achievements; she had worked hard to be known as Chaser Weasley, not 'Potter's girlfriend'. One reporter at the sports section of the Prophet had learned that lesson the hard way. People said that Ginny's Howler was still echoing in the newspaper's office.
"Gin, I would never ask you…"
"I know you wouldn't," she interrupted. "This is my decision. I want to shout out to the world that I am your family, your next of kin, so loud and clear that there won't be any need to look at a emergency contact list. So I will take your name. I will be Ginny Potter."
For the umpteenth time, Harry thought he did not deserve the great luck of having her in his life. He did not have words to express it, so he attracted Ginny into his arms and kissed her thoroughly. She responded passionately, until she accidentally touched one of his recently healed cuts and made him wince in pain again. She freed herself, apologising, and sat back on the bed, her eyes sparkling.
"I've just remembered… there's one perk of my job I haven't told you, and I think you may like it."
"Oh Weasley, I cannot wait to hear it."
"The staff and their families are allowed to use the quidditch pitch out of training hours, for private practice and informal matches. Just imagine the both of us flying together, before going back to the house and…"
Harry grinned mischievously. Suddenly, two months seemed a very long, long time.