Realization

Shane came home that evening with thoughts weighing heavy on his mind. It wasn't the beatles chirping and voicing irritating intonations. It was more like a broad beaked pelican that he might see down by the beach sitting heavily on a already weak fence. Staring at him menacingly with a fierce look in its eye end the threat to suddenly advance or react aggressively. It was Laura's offer that was troubling him, as he walked through the front door he peaked around to his left and then right and could see the shadow of Jas as she played with her dolls. She was humming and singing to herself with a break in the noise to call out,

"Hello Uncle Shane!" And then went back to her playing. And then he was face-to-face with Marnie who looked at him with a ruddy face and hair pulled up with wisps of it sticking to the sweat on her forehead. It looked as though she had been doing her own chores around the house and by the smell of it possibly making one of the mayor's favorite baked treats. His stomach churned slightly at the thought. There wasn't much of a chance of Shane getting over the idea of his aunt and the mayor together. He really wasn't even sure why they kept it a secret though. But before his thoughts could get much deeper, his brow furrowed as he stared intently at the straw dusted baseboards, Marnie made a sound.

"Shane, you're home a bit early today." She remarked, smiling at him. "Would you mind setting the table?" And she turned and walked back into the kitchen as Shane followed obediently.

Blueberry muffins, as he expected, cooled on the window sill, the sun still not down, Shane noticed. He had come home earlier than usual... Hopefully it wouldn't change Laura's mind about the situation. Which he doubted it would. But the apprehension edged at him all the same.

"You've been fascinated with the baseboards a little more than usual today." Marnie chuckled and Shane's head jerked up to her, the wide grin plastered on her face.

No one was as big a supporter of his work with Laura than Marnie. Although she wouldn't come right out and say it, Shane had a sneaking suspicion why she might be so excited to hear about how she was doing, and more importantly to her, how THEY were doing. Not that there was a they, he thought.

"Yeah." He started, looking back down at the baseboards in question. "I've been getting very interested in flooring." And smiled a half smile towards her, and she knew he was reaching out and making a small joke. He owed a lot to Marnie too. Jas, for keeping him alive and semi sane for years. Marnie for keeping them all together and supporting the family entirely on the back of her hard work and dedication.

"Well what's on your mind?" She asked, and her arms sat on her hips as she waited. But as the silence stretched out, and the question got thicker with meaning, her arms slide down to her sides and then moved to cross in front of her chest. She wouldn't say it, but it stung anyways. Shane knew she was expecting him to admit to getting too drunk a night earlier or destroying something or even a friendship in a fit of rage. He pushed on despite the thoughts.

"Laura asked if Jaz and I would like to come live with her." He dead panned. There wasnt, he didn't feel, a very tactful way to put all of it. Another silence settled between them before he eventually looked back up at her, taking in her startled eyes as big as saucers, and mouth slightly agape. No way she was expecting this out of him.

"Miss Laura wants ME to come live with her?!" Jas shrieked behind them suddenly and Shane turned to see her tiny hands clasping themselves over her mouth in shock, her dark purple hair released from their normal pigtails and falling around her face, framing a look of shock and obvious excitement. "Like a big sleep over!" She whooped. There was no hiding it, and as he looked back to Marnie he could see that tiny bit of her heart break. Children, Shane was noticing, could take a lot out of people from being so unashamedly blunt and eager. It never bothered him much, his heart was steeled pretty well against most things.

"Well, not sure you were supposed to hear that so quickly but that sure is big news." Marnie said cheerily with a tinge of panic, taking over suddenly the task of setting the table, adorning the white clothed table with the bright blue scalloped plates. Shane moved to pull out the pale pink glasses but was overtaken by Marnie again, a new type of flush and sweat spreading across her face.

"She only offered because of the long walk, and that the house is bigger than she thought with the new addition-" he was pushing out the story a little faster than usual. He knew he had been a dick to his only family too much. They deserved better, and he had taken to using a better tone with them in the last year and caring more for their feelings. Or at least expressing it more, so feeling Marnie's panic was easily stressing him out now.

"Well, that's good news! I'm excited for you! Growing older and getting your own place! With Jas too!" Marnie squeaked a little too brightly.

"Not really my own place but-"

"Oh well you know what I mean! Very exciting! I'm sure you two will have a great, great, GREAT time!" She went on grinning still and now eyes welling with tears. There was a small scuttle, and Shane knew Jas was scurrying away from this obviously mounting situation and he felt himself wishing he could do the same. There was an eye roll threatening to over take him at Marnie's reaction but he held it in. He loved his family.

She was reaching for the silverware when Shane reached out and gently grabbed her wrist just as her mouth had opened to allow more words to fill the air. Staring at her until she looked at him, he eventually released her arm and took a single step back. It was his turn now to cross his arms but continued to look down and away.

"Aunt Marnie." He began.

"You don't have-"

"Aunt Marnie." Shane said again, closing his eyes as though to close out the entire situation. This time she stayed quiet, willing to hear him out and knowing that he had limits. "I'm not trying to steal Jas from you. Or myself... Even though I've given you not much but grief." She made to disagree but he looked at her semi sternly. "I know I have. It's been who I've been. And I'm trying to change. I don't get Laura's weird fucking continous pity party she's been throwing me but I want the change. I know you... Have a life." He ground out the last part. "And I want to be a bigger part of Jas's life. I'm not gonna replace her dad and obviously not her mom. But I want to be a better father figure to her and see her more often." And now his expression softened as he looked at his Aunt. "We won't leave if you don't think it's a good idea for US. But... This might be a good middle step. It's not like I'm gonna live with Laura forever. Maybe I'll build a house nearby someday. One Jas could even inherit. In the forest near your ranch. When she's a chicken tycoon maybe she can take over yours too." He said with a small chuckle, and it got a smile out of Marnie. There were tears trickling down her face, pooling at her chin and her nose was bright red. Shane went into her front desk and came back with a box of tissues that she readily accepted with a smile.

"But I want what is good for the family. You guys are all I have." He finished and looked her in the eyes, a rare thing for a man who usually only looked people in the eyes with a stare of contempt.

"You have Laura." Marnie spoke, and the aversion of his eyes made her laugh. She reached out, patted the side of his face, and pulled a bit at his beard that came out at least two inches from his face now. A scowl screwed up his face but her second small bout of laughter made him smile a bit instead.

"You do have Laura." She repeated with a smile. "And I'm not trying to keep you from anything... I... I just know that I'll miss you and Jas... If you choose to go." Her lip was quivering again but the eyes stayed strong and looked at him with the unwavering strength he knew she had. "But you're more and more a man. We're all very proud of you. And I mean the whole town. I think everyone misses you at the Saloon and our staple Shane always being there but... We're proud that you've grown from that." And Shane gave her a bit of a rueful look. He absolutely still had his moments. Where the drink called him back just too strongly. But the words meant a lot all the same. Wasn't convinced the town was necessarily proud but it only mattered to him that Marnie and Jas felt relief by his change.

"... Are we going to go and stay with Miss Laura?" Jas quipped, her eyes peeking out from the doorway edge with a shine to them. Out of excitement or that she'd listened Shane didn't know.

"Do you want to?" Shane asked.

"Will we visit Aunt Marnie still?"

"Of course"

"Then yes!" Jas cheered running towards them and wrapping her arms around them both, and Marnie in turn reached out to grab Shane and tug him towards her fiercely as Jas squeezed tighter.

There weren't many moments Shane felt like he was truly happy.