Naghi-Tan: Oh I know, it stops the heart! It's a horrible feeling! D: You had a monthlong headache? Yikes? That's the worst! Ah, I know I have to finish 'Burnin' Love' but I need to get back into that mindset after this one. Being a moody writer puts me in bad places with my stories (cringe face)
HS: I just love the idea of Scottish Kid XD It tickles me silly! Law has a history with roommates that are on the odd side – he has more stories. Brook is the piece that's keeping everyone's head on, unfortunately. DX No wonder he's under so much stress, poor thing.
Snowflake97: I am in an angsty mood D: Thanks for tuning in!
: : 6
With his first check, Sanji paid for his half of the rent and utilities. Then he bought a card-fed phone, along with a bottle of Zoro's preferred drink. It was a week after Law had brought Brook home from the veterinary clinic, and after morosely returning the dog to Zoro's neighbor's house because the man wasn't home, Sanji had done some light shopping. It was uncomfortable to think that the longer he lived without his husband, the more he would have to struggle to stay on his feet. Their combined income had greatly allowed them to become homeowners and allow them to live comfortably, but on his own he felt like he was floundering. It had been awhile since he had, and it was as if he were learning all over again on how to be this individual.
He didn't want to be this "individual". Zoro had been his every day, his every night, week after week. But he had to wonder if he were just obsessed with the man in a way that he mistook it for love. Because if he truly loved the man, would he have really made the decision to step out on him with five different men?
Sanji was sure he did. There were so many things he missed of the other man – his presence, his smell, the feel of him, the sound of his voice…it filled him with such a deep ache not to have any of these things now that he didn't know what to do with himself. It was now difficult thinking of how he'd been able to accept another man's touch when the one he wanted was something he couldn't have now.
He drank as he figured out how to activate the phone and fill it with minutes. Zoro had cut him off their phone plan – cut him out of his life in the same manner he had with his swords. The very notion made his heart ache.
Hours later he was flopped over on his bed, staring at the ceiling while the world rotated around him. He jumped when Law appeared in his vision, looking down at him skeptically. When he realized Sanji was still alive, he placed a hand over his heart.
"Oh, thank heavens," Law said in that flat way he used to speak with. Sanji wondered if he had any other emotions other than being ultra-serious or dramatically sarcastic. His roommate was a little hard to figure out, sometimes. "I thought you'd be pickled by now."
"What do you want?" Sanji asked on a slight slur, picking up his closed bottle from near his head and attempting to open it.
"I came in here because the shower has been running for over an hour now – I assume dipping yourself in ice cold water is something that's been on your bucket list, but the water bill – "
"Jesus Christ," Sanji muttered, flopping over as he made to get up. But his arms didn't want to cooperate. "I was just going to take a shower."
"You have a phone now?" Law asked curiously, crouching to examine the packaging that Sanji had left on the floor.
"I'll text you with my new number."
"Please, with your name preferably. Sometimes the past likes to surprise me."
"How many roommates have you had?" Sanji then asked curiously, lifting the bottle carefully to his lips and taking a sip. He cringed and shivered at the harsh burn, relaxing back onto the bed with the thoughts of the running shower gone.
"As funny as it sounds, I seem to be a lighthouse for those that are…floundering," Law said, furrowing his brow as he examined the phone's simplicity. He set the package aside and stood. "So, perhaps too many."
He frowned down at the man sprawled over his bottle, holding tightly onto a half full bottle. "Will you be able to function for work?"
"Definitely."
"Because it's almost six am."
Sanji looked at him with alarm, the reason behind the running shower coming back to him. But once he rose, it was apparent that he would not be functioning properly. He hit his head with the bottle as he gave a disgusted curse.
Law frowned again. "There's no way you'll be able to go in like that."
"I've never had to call into work, before! My fucking life is just…!"
"I'm sure you'll be fine washing dishes," Law muttered thoughtfully. "But the smell coming off you won't bode well with the owner."
"I'm sure Zeff smells worse inside the dining area than he does in the kitchen!" Sanji snapped at him, struggling to get up. The world spun around him, and he cursed himself as he hastily sat, dropping the bottle onto the floor. Instead of trying again, he covered his face with his hands, giving a frustrated yell.
Law thought about it for a few moments, then crinkled his brow with thought. "Why would he smell worse there than…?"
"I've never been such a mess!" Sanji exclaimed, feeling upset. "This is not normal – if I were thinking properly, I would've never been - !"
"Well, one of the three biggest stresses in life happens to be a divorce, so…"
"I fucked it up," Sanji agreed sloppily, taking another drink. "Fuck it. He can fire me."
Law gave a short sigh, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "Then what will happen after that? Don't you have other skills?"
Sanji closed his eyes. "I can clean. I can work for a cleaning service. But my heart belongs in the food industry."
"Well…obviously you don't have it. It appears to be missing."
"Thank you, Captain Obvious." Sanji snatched his phone from the floor, sloppily dialing a number. As it began to ring, he cleared his throat, swirling liquid inside of the bottle with a despondent expression. Once he heard the gruff greeting, he opened his mouth to talk when Law snatched it out of his hands.
"I apologize," he said hastily as Sanji shot out to snatch the phone from him, grabbing onto his clothes to stretch for it. "But Mr Dumb Ass will not make it to work, today. He seems to have caught a vicious stomach bug. I am calling from his phone, so if you have any questions or such to extend to him, please feel free to call – "
"I have absolutely nothing to fucking say to him, and who the fuck are you?"
Law looked at Sanji with a stunned expression. "I apologize, I'd assumed this was his workplace number. Sorry for waking you."
Sanji snatched the phone from him, looking guilty.
"Mr Dumb Ass," Law chided, reddening. "Where are your responsibilities?"
"Shut up. As you can see, I'm not at my full capacities right now! I obviously dialed the only number I fucking know – I was trying to google the restaurant's number, and I obviously failed!"
"…You can't dial Google. How mortifying. I thought I was helping you, and yet I only to perpetuated your messy situation further! Stop dragging me into your disorder, you slop of a human being."
"Oh, fuck you," Sanji sneered at him, tossing the phone over his shoulder to the bed. "You're one to talk."
Law rolled his eyes. "Being this dysfunctional isn't helping your situation any, and once again, that shower is still running."
"Then go catch it."
Law exhaled shortly once more, struggling to put his nerves back as they started to fray. "Listen here, Mr Dumb Ass – "
"It's Sanji, you dick!"
" – you might be living here, but all I ask is that you pay for your share. There has been some characters living here with a sordid array of problems, but once yours starts interfering with our situation – "
"I know what I have to do. I'm a responsible person, I know what I have to do and where I gotta do it and how I gotta do it, I don't need you in here lecturing me! If that's all you wanted to say, then get the fuck out."
Law looked at him crossly. "Then either get to work or properly call in, or give thirty days' notice."
Sanji gave a disgusted snort, cradling the bottle between his knees. "You'll kick me out just like that, huh?"
"I can do this and not be bothered by it. If you don't want to help yourself, then remove yourself. Don't drag others down with you. Get up and get moving."
"See, why can't you be just as firm with yourself as you are with other people?" Sanji asked curiously, squinting up at him.
Law frowned at him. "I know what you're up to. I've got more experience than you with those mind games."
"What 'mind games'?" Sanji exclaimed drunkenly.
"The ones you're trying to play now. Get a move on."
Law left his room, then returned a few moments later. He opened up Sanji's closet, swept through the hangers until he found what he was looking for in the inside pocket of the jacket he'd worn last night. Sanji looked at him with disbelief until Law revealed the remote control. He slammed the door shut behind him as Sanji looked guilty for being caught with it. He honestly didn't remember having it.
He picked the phone up to find the restaurant's number and realized that neither of them had hung up. Zoro was still on the other line. Sanji put the phone down at that moment, listening to nothing on the other side of the phone. Was Zoro listening that entire time? Or had he thought to hang up and failed that?
It hurt that the man he ached for was on the other end of the phone, out of Sanji's reach. He refused to understand the situation as best as Sanji could explain it. Did this assure Zoro that Sanji wasn't rooming with some love interest as Zoro probably thought Law was? Nowhere in the conversation had either of the men spoken softly to each other, but in such an impersonal way that there was no mistaking the relationship.
If Sanji could show Zoro that he was a mess without him, would Zoro develop sympathy?
In all their years together, he hadn't shown any weakness. He was a top-notch individual, keeping both of their lives together with his own hands alone. If he heard that Sanji was falling apart, would it help Sanji?
He had hope that it did. Deliberately, he pushed on random buttons on the keypad.
"Hey, you idiot, I'm still on the line!" he heard from the speakers, the irritation plainly obvious from that side. It gave Sanji hope because Zoro had been listening. He was aware of Sanji's problem.
With a shaking finger, Sanji pushed the disconnect button. Zoro had his number, now. He knew his situation. There was hope.
Hours later, his head pounding and whirling, Sanji dragged himself out of his bedroom. He took a shower and hauled himself to the kitchen after to fix something to eat. He was embarrassed after this morning's transgressions so he hoped to apologize to Law about his actions.
He found the man standing outside the front door, talking low to someone outside. Sanji recognized Zeff's voice and quickly pressed himself against the fridge, panic lighting his feet. Law returned to the apartment with a bag full of food, shutting the door behind him. Once he caught sight of Sanji, he scowled at him.
"Said you need to eat this and be sober by 6 a.m.," he said grumpily.
"He didn't say anything about firing me?" Sanji asked.
"I think he felt sorry for you," Law said, a bewildered tone to his voice. "So hold off on killing him until you can return the favor. Suggested you were a complete and utter mess that should be handled delicately. Tried to lecture me on being more sympathetic."
Sanji's scowl intensified. But it was bewildering how a complete stranger would take that step for another. With the way their work relationship was, Sanji hadn't ever thought that Zeff would apply sympathy towards anyone. He twiddled his thumbs, lips held tight.
"Sorry about this morning," he mumbled. "I was just…feeling sorry for myself."
Law studied him for a few moments. "How long is this going to last?"
"Don't you have any emotions?" Sanji asked impatiently, opening up the bag and taking out the containers inside. They were full of greasy food, things that made him sigh long and hard because he was sure Zeff knew he wasn't sick. "The man I was attached to for years suddenly didn't want me anymore. After devoting myself to him – "
"Was this before or after the cheating?" Law wondered curiously.
Sanji sighed heavily once more, bracing himself against the counter.
"Because I'm pretty sure Jersey Shore taught me that if anything – "
"Jersey what?"
"Do you not know pop culture, Sanji?"
"I don't park myself in front of a television set and allow it to entertain me! I like to go out and enjoy the world as it's given to me - !"
"Five different times?"
Sanji sank against the counter with a hard rub of his eyes. Law examined the contents of the containers, using a fork to prod at some of it.
"The more you hear of it, the less it should hurt," Law said firmly.
"You are such an asshole."
"Why didn't either of them take you in?" Law asked curiously, opening another container and taking a piece of tomato from a hamburger.
Sanji glared at the stove window ahead of him, feeling his chest and stomach roil with mayhem.
"Or were they aware of the situation?"
"They were," Sanji mumbled, palms against his eyes. "The last one called him to brag about it."
Law was interested because he thought these things happened on tv, not between people. He dumped some salt on another piece of tomato.
"He doesn't want you now that you are? Seems troublesome."
Sanji hated thinking about these things. He continued sitting there while Law picked at various things from the containers, occasionally bumping into him with his bony feet. But he'd given no thought into talking to the man that had called Zoro – he wasn't worth Sanji's time, now. He was angry towards him, but that anger had shifted onto himself for doing this in the first place.
His arms settled over his lap as he pulled his knees up, a thought occurring to him. "I'm going to have to be truthful about this if I'm ever lucky to find someone…who can take the risk," he murmured, mainly to himself. "Just like those that made the rounds of various restaurants in the area – unwilling to risk hiring me."
"Zeff did," Law reminded him. "I guess you just have to find someone with as big a heart as his."
Sanji slumped. His eyes burned dangerously. He thought of all the people that wandered into the restaurant – alcoholics, drug users, people on the run, people that didn't have money but exchanged work for food. He was pretty sure Zeff wasn't what he seemed – there was something suspicious in everyone that came in through those front entrance doors that made Sanji think that the police were going to enter at any moment. He wanted to say these things to continue the suspicion of Zeff's probably wrong doings but he had to admit that Zeff pretty much fed anyone that was hungry.
"Or maybe I'm just not meant for it," Sanji said slowly. "Like…I'm a limited time thing. Spared only a little shit at a time."
Law chewed on a couple of olives before saying, "I'm sure it's not that dramatic."
"I left my family years ago because they couldn't give a shit about me. I knew from a young age that it was impossible for them to love me. I found that guy and some good friends but after what I did…now I'm here."
"Brook loves you. Animals are unconditional."
After some moments of reflection, Sanji said shakily, "What if this is all the love I'll ever get?"
Law sighed, hand on one bony hip as he braced himself against the counter. Sanji wiped his eyes, sniffling.
"Why is it important to be loved?" Law asked curiously, brow furrowed. "All around you are people struggling to ignore each other, yet they want all the attention they can get from social media or Tinder. And if it doesn't go their way, it's the end of the world for most."
Sanji looked up at him skeptically, hair staticky against the dark finish of the cabinet. "I ask you again, you ever been in love before?"
"No, but – "
"Until you understand what it means to give all of you to one person, then how about you not judge me?"
Law made a face. "I can't love someone until I learn to love myself. And look how well that's going."
"Then shut up."
"All I'm saying, Sanji, is that there are more pressing matters in this world than the loss of affection from one person," Law said. "The end of the world is caused by cataclysm or self-indulgences, or an individual with a weapon."
"People can die from broken hearts."
"Broken heart syndrome has similar affects as a heart attack – so if you are short of breath, in your case shorter of breath," Law added, indicating Sanji's smoking habits, "if you are sweating, dizzy, nauseated with some left arm pains and jaw clenching – "
"Shaddup!"
" – then drag yourself into the adjoining jurisdiction and get yourself to a hospital."
"I wish you'd just understand – "
"It's probably best that I don't," Law interrupted firmly, taking another olive, "because if I did I'd feed into your heartbreak hotel and make things worse. Or, if I were a more interesting person, I'd cause some drama for my own entertainment. For your benefit I am a selfish person only focused on myself."
He paused while Sanji scowled, glaring at his reflection in the stove door.
"But," Law added slowly, "I did start room in my heart for Brook. Something about that animal inspires my sympathies."
"Empathy."
"Same thing."
"No, it isn't!"
"I grew fond of his disgusting doggie farts and drooling jowls, and he is so ugly it hurts, but having him in the same room as I makes me feel…less alone than I would with a person. Perhaps I should look into getting an animal," Law mused, more to himself. "Maybe taking care of something other than myself will help."
Isn't that what you're doing, now? Sanji thought vaguely. "But you suck at taking care of yourself. How are you not dead yet?"
"Because I obviously suck at it," Law responded flatly, rolling his eyes. "I have enough will in me to live. I don't know why. I haven't lived in awhile."
Sanji knew this to be true – all the man did was come home, plant himself on the couch and watch endless amounts of television. He did not go out to eat, he did not visit any sites of fun, he did not do any of the shopping – he had to wonder how Law had survived all this time with such a dull, boring lifestyle. He popped up to his feet.
"Get a jacket and some shoes," he said. "Or I'm carrying you out on my shoulder."
Law looked at him with some terror as Sanji stalked off to get ready on his own.
: :
They ended up twenty minutes away at a lively museum of arts that currently had a space exploration exhibition going. Law had an expression to his face that looked both scared and bewildered, like he'd been asking himself why he'd followed the younger man's command while Sanji was tense, asking himself why he bothered to come out. The windows rung with space themes while an alien mascot walked about, welcoming everyone that had come in. He passed out stickers, one of which Sanji stuck to Law's forehead with a slap.
After Law removed it, he shuffled after the man with an expression of irritation while they ventured through the lower level floor, full of space themed paintings and art exhibits that inspired contemplation. Neither of them said anything.
Law's fists were tight in his jacket, anxieties present. He knew people were looking at him, taking in his appearance with judgement and disgust – he'd only pulled on his boots because he hadn't expected a trip anywhere – and this only allowed him to pull his jacket tighter around himself. His hat was pulled down low, but it didn't hide his jutting cheekbones and sharp jawline.
They came across a Grey alien throwing up a peace sign. Sanji gestured at it. "You guys could be twins."
"Shut up, miscreant."
"If they ever happened to pop down here, they'd take one look at you and think, Ah, that's a cousin. He's good."
"If they saw you, they'd pickle you into some barrel and drink you for dinner."
"You're so lame," Sanji chuckled as Law huffed. "And people are looking at you for your pajamas, not at you."
"What makes you think I'm self-conscious of anything?"
"Because I don't think it's the fact that your head's so heavy it won't lift up." Sanji studied an abstract painting while Law glanced around himself, aware he should've changed out of his bright yellow and purple plaid pants. He was shivering, feeling tired and cold from the mere effort of walking uncomfortable distances. He should've brought his scarf.
He struggled to say something, uncomfortable with the silence between them. It was different out in public – it felt like he had to put effort into conversation in a public setting rather than a private one. He could escape at home by retreating to his room or leaving Sanji to face his despondence on his own, but out here he felt vulnerable and open.
"I just don't like seeing other people's judgement," he said slowly. "That disgusting expression of sympathy that always crosses their faces, or that crude look of distaste – like my condition is something some stranger should worry about."
"You think it's wrong for someone to feel sorry for another? Is that how you treat your patients, doctor?" Sanji murmured, crouching to look closely at a 3D display made out of metal.
"Well, no. I feel for them. For their families."
"Then why not for yourself? Why make yourself out into such an enemy?"
"Is this some sort of therapy session?" Law asked accusingly, arms tightening. "This is something I pay someone to hear about."
Sanji straightened up to frown at him. "Then why don't you?"
"I told you," Law said shortly.
"You told me shit because you switched the subject to myself, moron."
Law hesitated to answer. Why should he?
"Because I don't want to hear some stranger say, That's not important. Your diagnosis isn't important."
"Do you want it to be?"
"No, but – "
"You think it's not important because you're not important? How many lives have you saved? You think anyone else can do what you can?"
"These are all things I've heard before. And they are still things that haven't made much of a difference," Law said stubbornly, feeling himself tense up even further. He ended up crossing his arms over his chest.
"Relax your cheeks," Sanji admonished, nudging him with an elbow. "Like anything I say can be anything reliable when I'm as much as a mess as you are. You won't go home thinking that the shit I say is of any value – you think too much over your own thoughts and feelings. Like you said, you're too selfish."
"Then why bother with this conversation?"
"Maybe because I'm tired of thinking about myself. All I think about is myself and my misery – I want to think about someone else's that ain't in any way related to mine," Sanji said with a huff, hands in his pockets as he studied an Alf set-up. "What is this cat thing?"
Law looked from him to the display. "I haven't seen this in years. What a walk on memory lane."
Sanji looked at him curiously. "What were you like when you were a child?"
"Oh, I was…as unemotional as I am now. I liked taking things apart to see how they worked."
"Oh, like mechanics?"
"No, living things. Frogs were my focus."
Sanji looked at him with distaste.
"You?"
"Uh, well…fairy tales, I guess. Adventure stuff, romance. I liked the idea of falling in love and being in love and being loved."
"This stems from a loveless family, I suppose?"
"Yeah, well - ! Did your family love you?"
"Yes."
"Then don't you think you're hurting their memory by doing this?"
"I've heard this, too. They're dead, they don't have a say in shit."
"You're a hard man to reach," Sanji admitted, looking at him. "But I think it's not for the reasons you think."
Law rolled his eyes. "I'm much older than you, I'm pretty sure what my reasons are."
"You closed yourself up. You can't convince me otherwise." Sanji then trailed off, staring at him with a growing sense of horror.
Law couldn't help but scowl back at him, hands fisted in his armpits.
Hands to his mouth, Sanji whispered, "Am I going to turn out like you?"
"Oh, please, I'm convinced you're the type who will fall for the next one that gives you any attention."
"I don't know," Sanji said as they took to the stairs to the next level. He slowed his step to accompany Law's, and Law wondered if this synchronicity felt intimidating or intrusive. "This is painful. Everything about it. This is years' worth of a comfort zone that was ripped out from underneath my feet. Anything I do could repeat the past. What would be best is just…not feeling anything at all."
"Probably for the mental comfort of your next partner," Law agreed as Sanji led the way into another exhibit. This one with flashing lights and soft music that invited visitors to take part of various spaceships with grandiose displays. "If you were a caring person, you'd spare your partner that pain."
Sanji rolled his eyes. They were silent for some time, taking in the displays around them while visitors took selfies and the like in front of dangling pipes and creatures that looked frightening.
"Maybe I'm not," he said with a sigh. "Maybe I am selfish."
"You are. I haven't seen any other examples unless you had Brook at your side. Maybe it's your destiny to be that weird dog person that collects animals for comfort."
"And here we are again," Sanji said, pausing in front of an open UFO, grey aliens peeking out from the inside. "Back on me. You're very good at redirection."
"I think it's easy because you love talking about yourself. Your generation is rather selfish."
"Listen here, old man – "
Law swatted Sanji's pointing finger away from him. "And besides – "
"Your hands are freezing!" Sanji observed, capturing one. "Do you have any working blood pressure?"
"Don't touch me!"
"You're a total ice princess!"
Law slid his bony hand between Sanji's scarf and the back of his neck, causing him to jerk away with a cry of outrage. He rubbed and blew into his hands to warm them. "Could you keep your hands to yourself, please? I'm sure you've noticed I don't like to be touched."
"Because you're self-conscious of yourself?" Sanji asked curiously, hands in his jacket pockets. "Ashamed at the thought of someone touching you and deciding that you're not worth touching?"
"Most people would think twice of touching a stranger, you know."
"I think we're beyond that, now."
"So we've traded a few tales between us, it doesn't mean much."
"After I let you meet my dog," Sanji said with playful scorn.
Law snorted, hands sliding into his pockets. "You're ridiculous."
"Are we making memories? Are we living?"
"Is that the point of your little exercise?" Law asked. He studied the aliens looking out at them. "Because I'm pretty sure I'll have nightmares later on."
"Just introduce yourself as a long lost cousin and you'll be fine," Sanji snickered.
Law glanced around them, noting the people taking pictures with the displays as a backdrop. "Why aren't you participating in this?" he asked, gesturing at them.
"I'd rather not," Sanji muttered. "Who's to see it?"
"There is life beyond a divorce. Maybe down the road you'll want to look back and reflect on what a journey it was. Perhaps seeing progress will be helpful."
"Why don't I take your picture on your phone, and you take one of mine? We can do this together."
"I don't want my picture taken. There's no point being reminded of yet another failure."
Sanji withdrew his phone and found the camera app. He handed it to Law, who dutifully took the pic. Sanji struggled to smile but his face felt bloated and stiff, and he really couldn't muster up the traditional expression meant for a camera.
"You should be a model," Law said sarcastically, examining the end result. "They all look like they're mad at the shit that won't leave them."
"Stop complimenting me, it feels weird," Sanji snapped, taking his phone back. He gestured at the display. "It's your turn."
"I'm not taking a stupid picture."
Sanji snapped one anyway, much to Law's annoyance. He felt his phone vibrate as Sanji then sent it to him.
"Progress pictures," Sanji said. "One day you'll look back at this and be proud of how far you've come."
"I'm not looking back. Point is to look forward."
"To what?" Sanji snapped at him, opening the camera again. He stood close to the man, stretching his arm out as far as he could. "Piece of shit phone."
Law took it from him and held it at a distance. He eyed the picture and adjusted his arm's stretch so that only Sanji was visible. Both of them wrestled to have both of them in the camera when the phone was snatched out of Law's hand.
"I'll do it," Zoro said crossly.
Both of them froze at his appearance. Behind him, Sanji saw that Ussop and Luffy stood with stiff expressions, as if they were seeing something they shouldn't have. Sanji felt like the air had been sucked out of him while Law stressed over the wrong idea given. The tension was so thick that he wanted to turn and leave but the trio standing there pretty much blocked their way out.
All the words in Sanji's mouth left him because he felt like he'd been caught doing something as wrong as he had when his marriage broke. But he wasn't the type to stay silent for long, so he said the first thing that managed to crawl to his tongue.
"I thought you hated this kind of thing," he said to Zoro while Ussop and Luffy looked at each other uncomfortably.
"So you thought it was safe to come out?" Zoro returned stiffly. "These guys brought me along."
"It was something I wanted to do. For him."
"Oh. For him." Zoro turned dark eyes to Law, who looked at him stiffly. But his fists tightened in his jacket pockets.
"My roommate, Zoro," Sanji stressed urgently. "We needed to get out of the apartment."
"You don't look sick," Zoro observed, turning that angry gaze to him.
Luffy said slowly, studying Sanji, "You look like shit, buddy."
"Thank you," Sanji said snidely. It was the first thing that he could say to a friend he'd considered dear, and he felt regretful that it was this.
"But it must mean you feel like shit, right? For what you did."
"Luffy," Zoro interrupted as Sanji stiffened.
"No," Luffy snapped at him. He returned his look to Sanji, who refused to look at him. "Way to go, Sanji. What kind of a bastard do you have to be to do this to Zoro? Hiding all those secrets? I hope you feel like shit."
"Luffy, stop."
"I do feel like shit," Sanji responded stiffly while Law looked for an escape route. "I regret it every damn day."
"I'd be more shocked if you didn't! Five times?"
Luffy's voice raised as his own anger became obvious, pent up frustration and shock for his friends coming to the forefront.
"The first time might've been a fucked up mistake, but you did it five times! It wasn't a mistake by then, it was a choice!"
"Luffy," Ussop whispered, hand on his arm, "this isn't the place…"
"I don't care," Luffy snapped, shaking his touch away. "He ran away before any of us could say anything to him! How could you do something like that, Sanji? We all trusted you and thought things were fine – "
"They obviously weren't," Sanji muttered.
"So that gives you the right to do something as filthy as that?"
"Luffy."
Luffy's mouth snapped shut as Zoro barked at him. He managed to look away from Sanji to him, expression full of anger. Before Zoro could say anything, Luffy pulled away from him, saying to Sanji, "You guys were my friends for years. Years, Sanji! I was so happy for you both, and you fucked it up! You fucked up and you keep causing him trouble - !"
"This isn't any of your business," Law said, surprised that he did. Upon being recipient of three different angry gazes, he felt the urge to back up. But he stood his ground because this felt similar to an attack. Like numerous dogs upon one, and it was an uncomfortable feeling to bear. "I understand that you are all friends…but the troubles lay between them and not you."
"Who the hell are you?" Luffy asked him.
"He's nobody!" Sanji snapped, stepping in front of his roommate. Zoro glowered at him.
"Oh? He's one of those guys?" Luffy asked, voice tilting reedily.
"NO! Look, there's a time and place for these things, but not here," Sanji said, seeing that other visitors were looking their way with interest. "If you want, you guys can talk to me outside. Not to him. He has nothing to do with this."
"He speaks a lot for you," Zoro said tightly. "Brook's comfortable with him. Even went to him, so – "
"Brook's a dog that doesn't know any better! He's not some child we both hand that's caught up in some custody battle!"
"I answered the phone, yes," Law said to explain his actions this morning, "but those were under considerable circumstances. And you're welcome for rescuing your beloved pet."
Zoro glowered up at him. "It's interesting that these circumstances took place so early in the morning. I'm allowed to have some suspicions."
"When you filled out paperwork to dispute the rings on your fingers, those suspicions weren't yours to have anymore."
"I don't like your attitude," Luffy interrupted, deciding this with a glare. "I don't think I like you."
"The feeling is mutual. And stay out of it, you little chump. You're not the one that took it in the ass, so you have no say in what these two do."
Sanji managed to stop Luffy from physically attacking the man, coming between them to push Luffy away. Ussop quickly snatched his friend's arm while Zoro continued glaring at Sanji.
"Stop making it worse!" Sanji hissed at Law.
"Roommates," Zoro said slowly. "But yet has the balls to interfere in something that isn't his business, either."
"Any Good Samaritan witnessing an attack would step in," Law said, hiding his trembling fists inside his pockets. "As this is a public space, each of us has a right to be here. Unfortunately, all your damn emotions push you lot to act on your childish whims to lash out instead of conducting yourselves like proper adults. You're separated for a reason – maybe it's best it stay that way."
"For someone that doesn't have any history with either of us," Luffy interrupted slowly, jerking his arm from Ussop's grasp, "you sure do have a ton of shit to say."
"I most likely have a death wish," Law agreed.
"I'll break your face if you talk trash to me again - !"
Zoro pushed Luffy backward, using his bigger body to create a barrier between them. He looked to Sanji again, tossing him his phone. "We're done here, anyway. Continue on with your date."
"It's not a date," Sanji trailed off as Zoro turned and walked off. He felt a hot buildup of emotion lurch up to his throat, absolutely hating his position in the universe right now. Ussop gripped Luffy's arm, the younger man glaring from one to the other with hot anger.
"You were my friend, Sanji," he said tightly. "How could you do this to him?"
Sanji said nothing in response because what happened between himself and Zoro wasn't for his friends to know. Despite always imagining himself talking to them about it, explaining his part – how he felt neglected and unloved – knowing that he could talk to them almost as intimately as he could with Zoro, he couldn't unleash the words now. Luffy was too angry to hear them – on the defense for his friend, angry at the other for betraying him; it was understandable. Sanji would be the same way, too.
Law saw that it was difficult for Sanji to say anything. Looking at his friend with some regretful silence. So he said it for him.
"When was the last time Zoro said anything nice to him?"
Luffy looked to Law with a twitch, lips pulled tight in a frown.
"It doesn't matter," Sanji struggled to say, but it was only an exhalation of hot air that didn't form familiar words.
"You can't answer?" Law asked Luffy curiously. "It has to make you think? If it has to make you think, then perhaps things weren't fine at all."
Luffy frowned up at him, but his mouth stayed shut. He looked from one to the other, hands balled into fists. He glared at Sanji for several seconds before saying, "Tell me the truth, Sanji. Ya think Zoro didn't love you enough, so you caused trouble to excuse yourself out of it?"
Law furrowed his brow, looking at the young man with disdain. But he looked to Sanji, too, seeing his face twist with some pain.
"Yeah," he croaked. "That was it."
Luffy's expression darkened, and his jaw tensed. Law could sense the tension in the air that felt thick and unforgiving, building into something hot and suffocating. He could tell by the way Luffy's shoulders lifted that something was going to happen – he knew it, he expected it, but it still made him jump when Luffy's fist shot out and connected with Sanji's face.
Sanji took it easily, though, managing to stay standing as Luffy snapped, "What a weak excuse! Fuck you, man. For not saying anything! For deciding on your own to break something that didn't need to be fixed. You're so fucking selfish! If something was wrong, why didn't you say anything to your friends? After all these years, you can't talk to us? What a fucking joke!"
Law told himself it wasn't his business to continue interfering. While shocked at the physical violence before him, it occurred to him that he really didn't have a say in these things. It was between them – their familiarity with each other could only be addressed between each other. He was just a stranger, stepping in after the dust began to settle.
But he said, "That's enough. It's not your place to be angry at him. It wasn't your bed you slept in, but theirs."
Luffy pierced him with a look. "Fuck you, old man!"
Law kicked Luffy with enough strength to have him crash into the display, causing most of it to collapse around him. At the noise and attention drew other visitors to look in their direction. Sanji hissed out a curse and grabbed Law's jacket, tugging him towards the stairway nearby. He couldn't even talk as they hurried down the steps. His throat felt tight with all his regret. He couldn't even expand his lungs to breathe properly.
Once outside, the sight of the slushy streets, the brilliant display of museum flags and signs told them were the sidewalk was. But his brain was still rattling around inside his skull. He finally touched the hot, swelling spot on his cheek where Luffy had hit him. He was still processing everything that had happened.
Law exhaled outward. "That was stupid," he muttered bitterly. He looked to Sanji, seeing his expression. The sound of traffic and basic city noises seemed louder than any other thought that came to mind. He pushed his trembling fists into his pockets and waited for Sanji to say or do something. When it became obvious Sanji was having trouble thinking at all, Law sighed again.
Tentatively he reached out and gripped Sanji's jacket. He pulled him into walking, feeling uncomfortable as he did so. Eventually Sanji yanked out of his grip, stalking ahead of him while digging around for his cigarettes, lighting up with a forceful exhale. Law followed awkwardly at a distance, unsure if he had any place to say anything. What could he say? He supposed this was the beginning and end of their "adventures".
It was almost disappointing. He was pretty sure he'd started to enjoy himself before those three showed up. He suspected that the next two weeks were going to be of Sanji retreating into himself and into his room and Law left awkwardly outside, wondering if he truly lived with someone else. It was startling how alone he suddenly felt.
At a stoplight, a crowd of cold pedestrians waiting anxiously for the light to change, Sanji turned to look at him.
He smiled at Law brightly, revealing nothing of what he was feeling. "What a way to make memories, huh? Bet you won't forget this outing!"
"What a fucking awkward position to be in!" Law snapped at him.
Sanji laughed. "I can't believe you kicked him!"
Law stared at him, wondering if he'd lost his mind. Had he snapped?
"Despite wanting to stay out of the way, you stayed put. You're a stronger guy than you think," Sanji chuckled. "Nobody could budge that kid when he stands his ground, so for you to react that way – man, I'll be laughing about that for awhile. Hopefully he felt better getting that out of his system. But what an enemy for you to make!"
Law stared at him.
Sanji dashed ashes away, looking up as he chuckled. Fat tears were now rolling down his cheeks, but he didn't seem to notice them. Law fretted inwardly because he wasn't sure what to do about that. So he stood uncomfortably at his side, hands in his jacket pockets. Sanji continued to smoke, focused straight ahead.
"Sorry to have you involved," he said slowly. "Never expected him to be there. He wasn't interested in that sort of thing."
"I wasn't, either."
"But you came. You stepped out of your comfort zone, you came, so…it was good for both of us to get out. If you could do this, consider what you can do for yourself."
In a way, Sanji wasn't as selfish as both of them accused him of being. Law knew this. While the outcome wasn't what either of them wanted, the outing wasn't something that convinced Law that it was a bad one. It was a memory. It was a confirmation that he wasn't limited to apartment couch and the hospital setting.
When the light changed, they continued walking ahead, headed for home. It didn't occur to either of them that they'd come by Uber, and that it'd take some time to actually reach their building.
Law didn't know why he stayed at his side, and Sanji didn't know why he suddenly relied on the man to be there. It just felt like both of them had no idea what to do – pretend to be normal, pretend that it wasn't a big deal. Each of them had the memory for a different reason.
"Thank you," Law muttered uncomfortably. "It was good to get out."
"Heh, no problem," Sanji said, beaming up at him while wiping his eyes, smearing ashes over his jacket and burning his bangs. "Thank you for sticking up for me. It was unnecessary but…thank you."
I wasn't, Law thought with some confusion. But he said with a shrug, "Yeah. No problem."