Hunger

by Hack.Drawer

Two roommates battling personal battles realize they have more in common than they thought - but both of them are prickly, private and stubborn. Little did they realize that they would become more reliant on each other than they'd imagined. AU *COMPLETE*

8. Chapter 8

Harmonica Smile, Naghi-Tan, WulfyFang3, and Snowflake97 – thank you guys so much for leaving your thoughts! I'm glad each of you are enjoying the progression of things with each chapter – this story has consumed me. I, too, want to see what happens next :D

: : 8

When Sanji took Brook home days later, his mind was overstretched between what happened with Law and his situation with Zoro. After that encounter in the museum, Zoro had texted him angry messages.

'Good to see that you'd moved on so quick.'

'That's not a date? Looked like one to me.'

'Fucking disgusting that you went from someone that actually cares what they look like to someone that looks moments from dying. Planning on getting to money? You're exactly like your family.'

'Explaining yourself to anyone here is going to be useless – they saw what they needed to. Sucks that none of us could see it before.'

'I can't believe I wasted so much time believing in you.'

All angry things that Sanji felt was rightly placed. He was pretty sure he'd feel the same way. All of it were helpless venting, Zoro's emotions and thoughts finally coming out to the forefront. Sanji felt that it was fine to see this, because it was different from the total calm and silence Zoro had immersed himself in after that phone call. If Zoro could work out his anger and feelings of betrayal in this manner, it'd help them both in the end. After all, Sanji had turned to other men for just a few minutes of attention – actively hid the fact from his husband, returning home to his husband after; pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.

Being compared to his family was a low blow but rightly deserved – nothing could overlook the fact that he'd sneaked about to betray his husband.

Sanji had left the angry and denial stage to enter the bargaining stage, flirting with depression. He was aware that his positivity was ill-placed but after years of being with this man, he truly felt that there was hope in fixing these things. Zoro just had to allow his anger to speak for him, get it out of his system, and both of them could come together after the flames had ebbed so they could work it out together.

There were many nights when he yearned for contact – it had been months since Zoro touched him intimately, but there were years before that when they had a healthy physical love. He wondered what happened to when he'd become unappealing to the other man. He'd overspend his credit card to wear fine things to remind Zoro that he was just as in shape, just as proud of his body, just as healthy as he was. But in the end, if other men could desire him, why couldn't Zoro?

Was it really about the ending of physical love that everything fell apart? Did it really matter that he didn't have Zoro's attention? Was it really worth those few minutes of having someone else desire him?

These questions never seemed to subside.

And Sanji just couldn't allow himself to stand and take it. He needed answers of his own. Unfortunately, his answers never seemed to come out correctly. They seemed just as accusing.

'Did you take notes?'

'You wouldn't know what a date was, even if it slapped you across your head.'

'Yeah, just like my family, aiming for something *useful! What use were you, giving me nothing but day after day a list of things to do! Like I was your personal servant!'

'I can't believe you ever did. It was never appreciated.'

Sanji was still angry, he had to admit. So those texts ate up his refill cards like tickets. They would trade angry messages for close to three hours each night until Zoro stopped responding. Because of this, Zoro willingly stepped out when it was time for Sanji to retrieve Brook. Sanji had to go to his neighbor's to pick and drop the dog off. And each and every time he waited for Franky to tell him Zoro was ready to talk to him.

But this day, after Franky awkwardly took the dog, Sanji turned and left without making any awkward small talk that might encourage Franky to give him the answer Sanji was looking for. He sat in the car in silence, thinking about Law. The man seemed fine on the outside with losing a patient, but something about that night Sanji had gone to retrieve him upset him. He was aware that Law had problems that he never spoke about, was fully aware the man struggled day to day with his disorder, that he had a surprising amount of roommates with mysterious circumstances…but what was he truly dealing with?

Should Sanji ask?

Should he involve himself? But he was truly working on refraining from doing so, still quite aware that he was 'invasive'. But he wondered how anybody could just ignore that man, even if Law insisted he was selfish and uncaring of the opinions of those around him. It made more sense to involve himself, Sanji reasoned, because no one else seemed to. Everyone that knew Law seemed to be okay with what he was doing to himself, and they spoke of him with a tired sort of familiarity that suggested they were fine with what he was doing.

It made Sanji think of his situation – had Zoro just given up under Sanji's love and became numb to it because he could "rely on it"? But how was that a way to live?

If Law truly was uncaring, then why would a stranger's death affect him so much? Was it the stress of his job – literally, with people's lives in his capable hands – that was breaking him down? Or was it truly the disorder? Or was it simple loneliness?

Each outing they had, Law seemed to sluggishly come alive. Like someone squinting in the sunlight after being cooped up in a dark cell after so long.

Sanji knew he wasn't qualified to be of any professional that could help him, and that's what Law needed. Professional help. But the man clearly didn't want it, had convinced himself his disorder wasn't that bad and where was his damn guardian?

Not that Law needed any damn guardianship at his age, but where was his support? Those two men that he talked to at work? Why weren't they around? But Sanji had to accept that they probably had more history between them to that point where they supported him gently from where they already stood, having done what they could and accepted that it wasn't up to them.

It felt to Sanji that people had given up on Law after his own insistence and just stepped away, waiting numbly for the inevitable.

Had Zoro done the same thing to him?

Was he even aware of that?

He drew his phone out of his pocket as the Uber driver bobbed his head to some Cardi B beat that made Sanji's ears ache.

'When did you give up on me?' he texted Zoro.

'Genius,' Zoro replied instantly. Sanji pictured him sitting on the couch, beer in reach, Brook already comfortable in his lap. The television would be set on some inane martial arts movie – Zoro liked the foreign films. They'd sometimes fight over who got to watch what, but Sanji usually gave the control up to him, preferring to busy himself with other things while occasionally reminding Zoro that he was there. 'Pretty sure that award goes to you with your first man.'

'You were my first man, moron. I want to know when exactly you thought I wasn't worth the effort, anymore.'

'Ask yourself that.'

'I already told you!'

'Why is Brook wearing such a stupid sweater? I took it off him. There was nothing wrong with his collar, either. Once again, you're invading my fucking space.'

Sanji fumed, texting rapidly. 'Brook belongs to both of us! And he liked his sweater, he was showing himself off to people that saw him. You can't even allow a dog to feel good about himself.'

'Yeah, sounds like you. You practically threw him at Franky and took off – have a hot date?'

'You feel safe spying on me from a distance? Wth's your balls? Can't talk to me directly?'

'I fucking hate your face.'

'If you hated it so much, then why agree to marry me at all?!'

'I had nothing to do that Saturday.'

Sanji set his phone aside before he gave into the temptation of kicking the passenger seat directly into the Uber driver's engine. His phone vibrated with text after text but Sanji fumed, watching the scenery pass by. He felt hurt all over again. He told himself he shouldn't, but he was once again kicking himself for making such hasty choices and assuming that the parts would fall in together after.

Once home, he saw that Law had a book in one hand and Bepo in the other. It made Sanji squirm to see the reptile lounging casually atop of Law's hand, imagining all the infectious diseases that could come from it. The tv was off, and the salt lamp glowed gently atop of a rickety end table near the window. It felt too intimate.

He flung himself onto the couch, exhaling noisily. Bepo's head turned to look at him, clawed toes spread to steady himself. Sanji hissed at him, the lizard pulling his head back to assess the danger before barking. Sanji was startled that the lizard could make a sound like that so he froze.

The tail shook gently as the spotted gecko turned to face Sanji, as if ready to pounce.

"What a frightening animal," Sanji observed with wide eyes. "He's going to attack me and lick my eyeballs clean from my sockets."

Law looked up from his book with a startled look, like such an event was happening right then. The gecko looked at him with a seemingly inquisitive expression. "They are carnivorous," Law said, flipping his book upside down to save his page. "The most interesting fact so far is that in order for him to remain a male, I must keep his tank's heater at 90 degrees."

"Anything less than that will make him a woman?" Sanji asked curiously.

"Correct."

Sanji narrowed his eyes and indicated for the gecko to watch out. The lizard lowered himself into a seeming crouch, as if ready to pounce on him. Law transferred him to his other hand, the gecko looking up at him with a seeming adoring expression. From a canister at his side, Law fed him a couple of mealworms, Sanji's face scrunching up with disgust. His entire body rippled with agitation, almost causing his hair to stand up on end.

"I might as well as be lucky to have convinced you away from that damn spider," he said, rubbing goosebumps from his arms.

"They have life spans exceeding over fifteen, twenty years," Law said. "So it's good."

"A lizard…"

"Of course there will be time where I will not be here to take care of him," Law said to Sanji. "So please take notes on how to care for him properly. I've learned that he enjoys human warmth, so please allow him to sit on you for at least half an hour at a time."

Sanji froze, skin rippling at the thought of having that thing anywhere near him.

"Two crickets should suffice, a couple of meal worms here and there, and his water bowl needs to be free of any insects that go unfed."

"…Where are you keeping the crickets?"

"In my room."

Sanji shivered again. He wiped his forearms of goosebumps. The lizard seemed to yawn, spreading himself out to capture as much warmth as he could from the man's hand. Law stroked the top of his head with one finger, the lizard's eyelids closing in response. He wore such an awestruck look on his face, like he still couldn't believe he had an actual creature resting on him. It was kind of cute.

It was such a different expression from the blank, often disinterested expression that he usually wore. There seemed to be a glimpse of uneasy hope in him that Sanji hadn't seen before. So knowing that Law was attached to the thing and was doing things out of his favored comfort zones was enough to give Sanji motivation to follow his instructions, no matter how uncomfortable they might be. Maybe it wasn't a lot, or significant to him, but it mattered to Law.

He had to wonder if he'd ever made such an impact on Zoro.

"Fine," he said, retrieving his phone. Zoro's messages filled the screen, and when he scrolled down he saw that there was a lot more than that. "Just please make sure to wash your hands and skin thoroughly before you eat anything, or handle anything in the kitchen."

After admiring Bepo for several moments, Law looked over at him. "Where are we going this weekend?"

Sanji had an idea, but it had been on a whim that day. After so much had happened, he hadn't given it any more thought. He set his phone done. "Anything of interest on your end?"

Sanji recognized the indecision that crossed Law's face – he'd often felt it on his own. Too afraid to suggest anything for fear of lack of interest on the other party's part. Zoro often wore a disinterested expression when Sanji offered his suggestions, going along with it just because. So it was up to Sanji to fully make the plans and hope that Law got something out of it. So far…he'd been lucky.

"Okay, if not," he said slowly, "I do. But…I think we should stop at the library or bookstore, first. Where'd you get that book?"

"Some trash outside the veterinarian hospital." Law flipped the book over to show Sanji that it was a basic manual on reptile care.

"You should know more about your familiar, so we should go to a proper bookstore."

"We can look things up on Youtube."

"No. These are our plans. It's decided."

Law shrugged with some disinterest, something Sanji expected. But he could tell that Law didn't mind the destination – anything outside of this cave was fine with him.

That weekend had both of them walking into the bookstore with awe. Neither of them had any need for it, finding anything they wanted on their phones or computer, but standing inside of a place that was well occupied and fully stocked felt overwhelming. There was the soft chatter of people from the café nearby, the sound of kids playing in the kids' section, the elevators humming softly as they transported people from one floor to the other.

"We've got a lot of time," Sanji said, attention caught by the size of the food and cooking section. "So don't think we have to rush."

Law turned to him, bundled up in a hoodie underneath a jacket, scarf tied at his neck, fingerless gloves over his hands that he kept fisting in his pockets. He had his hat brim pulled low, the sharp lines of his face visible against the soft lighting overhead. Sanji couldn't help but reach out to retie the scarf while Law struggled to say something within the interruption.

"You think we're going to run into any more of your roommates?" Sanji asked, amused at the thought. "We've run into at least one in every part of the city we visit."

"I haven't noticed that any of them were interested in books," Law said as Sanji finished adjusting his scarf. His cheeks reddened a little with the attention. It was hard to admit to himself that maybe he liked the way Sanji's lips quirked with concentration. "So perhaps not. So should I go find you after we've browsed?"

"Let's have some coffee first," Sanji suggested, pulling away from him. "You good with that?"

"Sure, that's fine."

Both of them purchased their drinks and sat at a table that overlooked the first floor. Law sipped at his drink – it wasn't bad, but it wasn't that pleasant, either. It was his first time trying iced coffee, but he didn't want to say that out loud. He was tickled that he'd made the choice on his own with some confidence. It wasn't very often he drifted away from his strict menu but since he had, he felt that this day was a good one already.

Sanji noticed that Law seemed a little more relaxed, examining his drink with caution before giving equally as cautious sips. The older man seemed a little pleased with himself, but not necessarily in the drink. Before he could say anything, the chair across from him was yanked out from the table, allowing another tall body to take up space. Law choked and sputtered on his drink.

"What, you been fishing in the big people pond for something of a different catch? You caught something different this time, looks a little bit normal than most," said the man, looking at Sanji with distaste while he snapped his gum noisily. He was taller than Law, with wild red hair held back in a headband. His leather jacket creaked noisily over a threadbare hooded sweater over worn jeans, work boots scruffed and discolored from sidewalk salt. He wore a pair of oversized framed glasses, fingernails painted black.

Sanji froze while he processed the thick Scottish accent, mixed with words that he couldn't identify. Law wiped his mouth as he determined that Kid was talking about fishing. "I'd never picked up a pole, before," he said seriously. "Hasn't crossed my mind to do so."

Kid looked at him sharply. "I say anything about poles in this conversation? I'd asked if you got yourself a new roommate. I said he looks normal."

Sanji finally understood what he was saying, giving an expression of relief. He glanced at Law. "Which is this one?"

"Ah, the one the FBI was pursuing at one point."

Sanji looked at Kid with renewed interest. "You the arms dealer?"

Kid speared him with a confused look. "Who said anything about dealing with arms? Do I look like some type of body chopper? Hey, what's this about the FBI?"

Law held a hand out to Sanji as Sanji looked confused. "Don't worry, I got this," he said with confidence. "Kid, yes, this is my new roommate."

"Funny seeing you outside your burrow, especially at this time of the year when everyone got on their heaviest coats like some baby just getting used to the world outside of the womb. Everyone all bundled up in their baby blankets, like a snug burrito," Kid snickered. Law and Sanji sat there, struggling to pick out words to understand exactly what he'd said. Kid frowned. "I said it's cold!"

Sanji pulled his phone out, muttering to himself. "Hold on. I need a translator."

"Oh, he's a jokester, eh? You think I'm funny? Got you laughing at me like I'm some fucking stand-up comedian?" Kid slapped the table, shoulders hunched as he leaned over it. "Listen here, you. I don't have to know you to get that you already find me a threat. I'm not even gonna be gentle on you, I stand my ground and I ain't leaving it that easy, so don't think you're chasing me away or intimidating me in any way. Insult me all you want, I'm not going to rise up to it to allow you to agitate me."

Sanji blinked at him, finding his phone translator useless.

"We actually ran into Aokiji the other weekend," Law interrupted. "So it's been a running joke that every time we step out, the past comes up to greet me."

"Ah," Kid exclaimed, straightening up with a smile. "And so it has! It's just that the world is surprised you're out of your dark dungeon of a hole, and they wanna come in and say 'hi' just as well as the next!"

Law cleared his throat while Sanji kept his mouth shut. He couldn't navigate the man's words enough to interpret anything as a threat or insult.

"Well…it is surprising," Law admitted.

"I come here for the ambiance," Kid gestured at the crowd. "I can sit here and look at the titty books and not have an ounce of disturbance."

"You like cats?" Sanji asked dumbly. Kid speared him with another look.

"Did I say a thing about an animal in any of my sentences? Are you slow?"

"I'm…a very slow…child," Sanji said lamely.

"God'll forgive you for that mistake," Kid said with a nod. "If you even make it up there. Trafalgar, so I'm curious. You get over that food thing? Because it don't look a day over the thought of any sort of accomplishment."

Law inhaled and exhaled steadily. He answered carefully. "You're still deliberately throwing baseless words around to render a conversation difficult?"

"I've got a bad habit," Kid admitted, crossing his arms as he snickered. "Makes it easier to start a fight or two. 'Course, I ever talk like this in front of another goon, I'd be found out in a snap. Get my ass kicked."

Sanji understood that Kid was using his accent to insert useless words into the conversation, which already contained words that really had no meaning for him ("bit"? "bairn"? "clart?") rendering it nearly impossible for either of them to understand. He enjoys seeing the world burn, he thought with some awe.

"So, Trafalgar, what brings you out in this cold with this sharp dresser of an idiot?"

Sanji was bamboozled by the new words and phrasing, unable to feel any way of the conversation. So he sipped at his coffee and let Law take lead of it.

"Something new," Law answered lightly. "I got a lizard. A leopard spotted gecko. Now I need to know how to take care of it."

"Ew," Kid muttered, looking at him with disgust. "What you going to do with that, now, eh? Leash it? Walk it hourly?"

"You don't walk lizards, Kid."

"Ain't make a lick of sense to have some reptile as a pet!"

"I like him."

"You're pathetic." Kid looked to Sanji with a huff. "You let get him away with that sort of thing? You blind to the fact that he's unhinged?"

"Eh…it's…not something that's…bothersome," Sanji said lamely.

"You're both mad." Kid then looked at them suspiciously, folding his arms over his chest. "Did you both catch a serious case of Ligma?"

Both of them men looked puzzled, brows scrunching as they tried to understand the word and its meaning. Kid looked away with disgust.

"Because it sounds like a bad case, y'know? Thinking similarly, making it acceptable to live with lizards, like you all living in the damn desert like one of them desert families!"

"His name is Bepo," Law offered.

"I don't care what his name is! Here. I got you something. Didn't know I'd be seeing you again, but it can't hurt if you're looking to eat a little something from this here café," Kid then said, pulling out a flask from the inside of his jacket, reaching out to open up Law's coffee cup. "Still looking dainty like some damn useless bird with no wings. KFC imposter. Like something grown under artificial lights, ready for human consumption later."

Sanji reached out to snatch the flask from his hands before Kid could dump the liquid into the canister. He took a swig for himself as Kid shot him a shocked look. He managed to snatch it back as Law hastily covered his cup, pulling it over his lap.

"Jesus Christ," Sanji cursed, rising from his chair as the burn caused his blood to flare. He tossed the flask to Kid, who hastily recapped it and slid it back into his jacket. "That stuff needs to be labeled as a health hazard."

"I made it myself," Kid snickered. "Weren't that hard to do after reading a few books. Will make you strong and burly like a real man. Put some curls on that bony chest! Gonna need a bit more than that one, eh? Look at you, hah! Just as skinny as he is! Both of you need to take some cooking classes, or plant yourselves here at some fast food restaurant. Not the KFC, though. Don't want ya eating your relatives," he added, elbowing Law a few times.

Sanji sat slowly in his chair as his mind began to feel the effects of the drink immediately. He ended up clinging to the table as Law looked at him cautiously.

He looked to Kid. "You've killed him," he accused him.

"Eh, I did something better for you both. Enjoy your time here, you knobs," Kid said, rising from his chair. "And don't you be telling anybody I'm about. This is my favorite spot. Not that anybody should be asking 'bout me in the first place, so maybe don't worry about that nonsense. Blast your mind of it, forget I was ever here. I might even come back later with a little doohickey that wipes away memory, like Will Smith."

He started to walk off with a jaunty step, when he turned around to say, "And get that Ligma treated, for god's sake, you're scaring the older ladies and children."

Once he was gone, Law looking once more at Sanji. "You okay?"

Sanji exhaled noisily, patting the labels of his jacket for his cigarettes. "I can't feel my face."

"That's something the Weekend said once."

"…Who?"

Law sighed.

Once they were finished with coffee, they parted ways to investigate the store upon their own interests. Sanji was busy rifling through the various cookbooks when he sensed a sudden presence behind him. He looked up from the book he had in one hand to see his sister standing there, cradling some self-helps to her bountiful chest. It had been so long since he'd last seen her that it was a shock to see her now. He blinked a few times before processing the fact that Reiju was actually there in front of him, her expression controlled with that blank stare she had.

His heart actually jumped in his throat as he automatically glanced about for his brothers.

"Hello, Sanji," she greeted politely, subtly covering the titles of her books with a shift of her arm. "I thought that was you. I needed to be sure."

Sanji lowered the cookbook down to his thigh, looking at her with caution. "Reiju."

She exhaled tightly, her pink wool coat pulled subtly at her throat. Her pink hair was pulled into a tight ponytail, diamonds winking at her ear lobes. She was beautiful, but in such a way that discouraged any invitation to approach.

"It's good to see you."

After some moments, Sanji felt himself completely tense. He kept scanning the aisles for any sign of his brothers.

"It's just me," she assured him quietly. "I popped in to look for a few titles that spurned my interest."

"I don't want to talk to you," Sanji said finally, closing the book. He wished he'd taken that damn bracelet with him. It was sitting underneath his bed.

"Understandable." Reiju's eyes dropped from his face to his hands, her brow furrowing ever so slightly. "Where's your ring?"

Sanji pictured it tucked inside his wallet. He hadn't worn it in some time because the feeling of being unfaithful made him feel as if the weight of the ring had burnt him accusingly.

"How'd you hear about that?" he muttered.

"Contacts. Plus…father was just checking up on you."

"He wanted to make sure I wasn't coming back."

"He didn't think you would when you took another man for a husband." Reiju's lips tightened briefly as Sanji scowled. "Are you happy?"

"Very," Sanji replied tightly.

Reiju glanced around. "Where is he?"

"Look, it's no business of yours. I don't plan on making it into anybody's business. I just…am not associated with any of you. I – "

"I'd like to meet him."

"So you can go back to father and gloat about it? So the others can talk shit?"

"No." Reiju fiddled with the spines of her books until she said, "I'm happy for you. You got to get out."

Sanji frowned at her, looking for any signs of deception. But Reiju wore such a controlled expression that nothing seemed to jar her any. She returned her gaze upon him, then noted his clothing. Assessing something that she had yet to share with him.

"It doesn't look like you're doing so well," she then said. "Your clothes seem a little too baggy – "

"I'm on the keto diet."

"Sanji."

"Look, Reiju, no part of my life is something I'd want to discuss with you. You know why."

"I understand. But…" she trailed off with a building sigh. "Your social media hasn't been updated in months."

Sanji winced.

"I'd created a fake profile," she said slowly, "just to see if you were doing well. Mother would have been happy for you."

"None of this matters to me."

"Your husband only shares movie clips and replies only to your shared friends. One of your friends was very angry at you. Others are sending prayers that both of you are able to get back to your feet," she continued.

"I don't want to talk about this!"

Reiju was silent for some time, unmoving. She only looked away when Law interrupted, startling Sanji with his sudden presence.

"I don't feel so well," Law said low, gesturing at his pile of books. "We should go."

"Hello," Reiju interrupted, drawing his attention. Law frowned down at her. "I'm Sanji's older sister."

"I know who you are."

Sanji looked to Law with alarm, a little off balance by the admission. When the older man didn't bother to introduce himself, she nodded, a slight smile to her lips.

"Are you two friends?" she questioned as Sanji put away the pile of books he had been thumping through, taking two of them. To Law she said, "I recognize you as one of the surgeons from one of our hospitals. It's nice to meet you in person. There's been such wonderful things said about your reputation."

"Thank you for your donations."

"I wasn't aware that you were friends with my younger brother."

"I wasn't aware you'd be interested."

"Our family has some difficulties, and it's expected that Sanji should feel the way he does," she said as Sanji turned away, encouraging Law to follow. Reiju continued with them despite the obvious dismissal. "But I was just mentioning to my brother how happy I was to see him."

"Yeah. Real happy."

"I was hoping to meet his husband, but it appears that he's no longer in the picture – "

"Why do you ignore the obvious?" Law asked her, stopping her short as Sanji continued on. He used himself as a barrier to allow the other man to escape, Reiju having to stop short to avoid bumping into him. "Pursuing him any further isn't encouraging your chances of a happy reunion."

After a few moments of careful consideration, fingernails sliding over the pages of her books, she admitted, "I miss him. It's been years since I've seen him, spoken to him. I find it difficult to give up that easily when he's so close within reach."

"He made the choice to leave. You need to respect that."

Reiju looked down at her books, then retrieved one closest to her chest. It was a well-known book on eating disorder recovery, something that made Law uncomfortable because he was sure she was threatening him in some way. "I'd planned on leaving this in your locker. I'd hoped you take some interest in it. The rumors from the board have reached father's ears. If it weren't for your track record, you'd have been fired a long time ago. Please consider intensive therapy in order to continue working with us. I'm sure your patients, future and past, will appreciate the effort."

Law slapped the book from her hand and walked away. Reiju smirked.

Leaving the store, the cold bite of the air caused both men to shudder. Sanji wore an angry expression as they caught a taxi. Law was disappointed that their outing was cut short, but said nothing as he stared out the window. Sanji struggled to put the encounter behind him, but hoped nothing wrong came between Law and his job. No matter Reiju's actions, he felt on edge with her.

His jaw twitched. "She used to laugh when my brothers made fun of me," he said tightly. "One of their games included this stupid thing they called 'Houdini'. They wanted to see if I could escape locked closets, or refrigerators or locked car trunks – the maids would always find me in time. She did everything they did. For her to approach me like she was genuinely concerned about me…it's like a punch to the balls."

Law nodded.

At the visitation of some of these horrible memories, Sanji was quiet for some time. Zoro had been his peace at that tumultuous time. Sanji could go to him when he was younger, and the man would distract him with his presence. When they fought, as young men usually did, it was nothing like the things Sanji experienced with his brothers. Zoro and their friends helped Sanji understand that what happened with his own family wasn't normal. It hurt to think that the very same people that had saved him had cast him out.

He struggled not to think about it.

He looked to Law. "What books did you get?"

Law quietly showed him, and Sanji chuckled at the sight of one, taking it. "What's this?"

"I wanted to read this as a child, but my father wouldn't let me," Law explained lightly. "Said it would give me nightmares. I was delighted to see that it was available with its original content."

"This shit is going to ruin your brain. I can't even look at these pictures – is this a head walking?"

"Alvin Schwartz was on to something back then."

"He was on something all right! This is scary shit! This is for kids?"

"Would you like to borrow it?"

"NO!"

"I'll read a couple stories aloud to Bepo. Perhaps you can listen surreptitiously from the kitchen to see for yourself how 'scary' these stories are…"

Sanji chuckled, returning the book. "You're so weird. And this movie? What's this?"

"It's unavailable on Netflix. You've never seen such killer clowns before."

"How are there clowns from outer space…? Never mind. I don't…there is cotton candy on the cover, so is this something that involves food?"

"Maybe," Law said mysteriously, taking the movie from him and pushing it back into his bag.

Sanji returned his attention out the window. Law looked at him with concern but turned his focus to the scenery passing by. He didn't want to go back just yet. After some time, he murmured, "I'm hungry."

"Want to stop someplace?" Sanji asked immediately. Law was starting to understand what he needed to say or do to get the man's attention. It felt like a crime to use it so selfishly.

Five minutes later, they were seated in a restaurant that had a considerably different ambiance from the one Sanji worked in. Eager to put that encounter into the back of his mind, he read from Law's scary stories book in the accent they'd heard from Kid. Both of them snickered and chuckled like kids in their booth. It felt good to act silly. It took the edge off the confrontation and Law's internal battle with himself on continuing to venture out from his comfort zone.

He didn't eat as much as Sanji would have wanted, but he tried something different and seemed slightly relaxed doing it. He didn't seem to be beating himself up for it after, and both of them decided it was fine to wander the area to look at the shops on the street. Neither of them could afford the things they found, but it was different to get out. When they finally returned home, Law immediately took a nap in his room while Sanji struggled to feed Bepo.

He retreated to his room and thought about what Reiju had told him. He texted Zoro a warning that she was spying on them.

'I should give a fuck *why?' came the response.

Sanji wondered why it should matter after all. It wasn't like they were going to reconcile soon. So he didn't send a response. He curled up on his bed and stared out the window. He watched day transition into night when his phone vibrated again.

'I think we should talk.'

Sanji's heart jumped at the words. It was his chance to see Zoro in person, to start fixing things.

But for the first time, he wondered if he wanted that. Once things were 'fixed', would Zoro constantly be suspicious of him? Sanji felt that he himself would be. Always fretting about that next time, overthinking harmless conversations with catching him speaking to some nameless man. His friends would lower their hackles, but they would be looking at him differently, too. None would accept him with the same open arms as before.

Just as Sanji had with Reiju today – he'd seen the titles of her books she'd carried before she covered them up. He wondered if she were struggling to change under the weight of her family's expectations. But he couldn't imagine that of her – she'd always been the fourth bully. But could someone change the color of their feathers?

After all, he had by disregarding his vows.

If Zoro happened to finally forgive him, would it be the same sort of love? Would Zoro be able to look at him the same?

It felt breath-taking that he'd think this way after what felt like months of bargaining with himself. Settling for his own beaten behavior as being an acceptable judgement. Had he finally reached another stage?

'Is that not a good idea?' came the next text.

Sanji rolled onto his back. He thought of a response. 'Talk about what?' he returned.

'Court is in three days. Shouldn't we both agree on things?'

Sanji lowered his phone to his chest. He was planning on attending by demanding counseling, therapy, recess, anything to stall the process. It had slipped his mind that this was happening soon. Could he walk into that courthouse on his own? He couldn't imagine asking anyone to accompany him. Zoro would have their – his – friends supporting him by being there. Sanji imagined walking alone into that narrow hallway and encountering them all together.

For once…he couldn't find the strength to follow through.

He stared at the ceiling. His phone vibrated a few more times throughout a stretch of time. When he finally looked at it, he saw:

'I thought talking things out would be better. Maybe…seeing if we can be civil. Maybe just you can answer my questions to my face.'

'I have a bunch. I'm just so pissed at you, but I got to thinking that maybe you were right.'

'I don't know, I just can't do this over the phone. So maybe we should meet.'

'*answer, shit head.'

Sanji took a shaky breath.

Something warm, sharp and smelling of something foreign jumped onto his face. It made him shriek like a woman, flapping his arms about wildly, phone flying. The buzzing noises that emerged from the insulted gecko alerted him that Bepo had escaped his cage. Heart racing a million miles an hour, Sanji steadied himself. The reptile was looking at him crossly from his pillow, sides heaving.

Sanji snatched the lizard from its perch, the creature emitting sharp barks that he could feel being released against his palm. He walked into Law's room and sat on the bed with a harsh drop to wake him up. The man lifted his head sluggishly, focusing on the gecko that looked at him with seeming relief, claws out, as if reaching for him. Sanji placed the thing onto Law's back, where he promptly crawled to Law's neck and hid underneath the collar of his hoodie.

"He escaped," Sanji said crossly. He heard crickets chirping quietly, but he had no idea where they were. It sounded muffled, so he assumed they were in the closet. It messed with his urges to find a Raid can to get rid of the problem.

"He was in your room?"

"He crawled onto my face!"

Law sighed heavily, hugging his pillow. "Time to bathe yourself in sanitizer."

Sanji frowned at him. He wiped his sweaty palms on his pants for a few moments before he said quietly, "Zoro wants to talk to me in person. Think it's a good idea?"

It took Law several seconds to process that question. Sanji was asking him for his thoughts on something he rarely talked about. It was momentous. He struggled for the right answer.

"I know where you can get a gun."

Sanji slapped his shoulder. "It's a serious question."

Law slowly pushed himself up into a seated position. Bepo was visible briefly as he clung to his collarbone before pushing himself up and over his shoulder, where he emerged from Law's hair at the back of his neck. Sanji looked at the creature with distaste.

"If you have to ask someone about it," Law said slowly, "then it must make you nervous to some degree. Why are you nervous?"

Sanji exhaled low. "He wants answers – I want answers. Both of us have questions that only each other can provide."

"New ones? Or ones that have already been answered?"

Everything had already been laid out in the open. Sanji could only think that the ones that hadn't been asked were the identity of the men he was with, the dates and locations where it happened. Where he was now. What he was doing. If he were okay.

He lowered his lashes to look at shaking hands. "No. Old ones, probably. Like a merry go round."

"Do you think…he wants to help fix things?"

Sanji wondered. None of Zoro's texts revealed this. So he shook his head. "Probably not. Probably just to get things off his chest."

Law scratched at his eyebrow. For some reason, this whole thing filled him with anxiety. The thought that Sanji would suddenly leave him – no, this situation, not him exactly – made his stomach tighten up. He couldn't think of any good advice to give because nothing came to mind. Just a weird, buzzing panic that made it difficult to concentrate.

"Then no," he said slowly. "Because…both of you are still angry."

"The court date is next week."

"Perhaps it might be about amicable agreements?"

"…he wants full possession of the house, some things…material things…" Sanji sighed.

How troublesome, Law thought.

"I don't know why I'm hesitating," Sanji admitted, a little too manically. "If I'd heard that a week ago, I'd be leaving right now."

"What changed?" Law asked curiously.

"Seeing Reiju."

Law was a little disappointed that it wasn't because of his own influence. It made him feel like he wasn't much of an influence at all. Just another self-failure that made him feel bad. He was just another presence in Sanji's world without much weight.

Literally.

"Seeing her, I…couldn't feel another way about her," Sanji admitted low. "Even after seeing she was holding onto self-help books. So it made me think…even if I go back, he'll never look at me the same. I'd never look at myself the same."

Law could feel Bepo prowling around the cowl of his hoodie. The weight of the gecko was surprisingly firm.

"And Brook?"

Sanji's face was heavy. "In those papers, Brook would be his."

Law frowned. The thought of not having the dog around the apartment was a rather troublesome one. He ended up chewing thoughtfully on his bottom lip. "You've got to go negotiate a custody order for him, then."

I…don't think I can't face them on my own," Sanji admitted slowly. "He'll have…all our friends there for support. Not of his own decision…but that's just how they are. Walking up to face them at this point…by myself…"

Law furrowed his forehead with thought. "Well, you can't continue stealing him away forever. I'm sure the judge would understand if you pled your part to continue being a part of his life."

"It's not the same impact as a child," Sanji said carefully. "Animals aren't…"

"Then perhaps this is a subject you can talk about with him. Instead of the other subjects that will most likely come up."

Sanji considered it. Then he nodded.

"Instead of agreeing to meet him at some location he's comfortable with, take him to work," Law suggested. "I'm sure you'll find support there."

"The old man can monitor the situation if we get too much," Sanji agreed slowly. "Okay. So…I guess I'll arrange that."

He patted Law's shoulder as "thanks", Bepo squeaking as he was under the weight of that hand. Law wore a tight-lipped expression, feeling Bepo crawl out from the comfort of his sweater once he recognized Sanji was gone.

Sanji answered Zoro, confirming a time and place for their meeting. A neutral area. He was sure the guys at the restaurant would give him shit for this, but he had confidence in Zeff stopping that shit short. The old man was useful for many things. He set the phone down and felt anxiety permeate his entire body.

What did he truly want?

As he was musing over this thought, it occurred to him that if he chose to fix this marriage with Zoro, he would have to leave Law behind.

This single thought felt like a catch in a closing door. A mysterious blockage that couldn't be identified right away.

It suddenly occurred to him how disappointed Law looked as they were talking about this. With a start, Sanji wondered if he missed seeing other things while he was swept up in his own personal hurricane. Law had opened up significantly since Sanji started using him to take his mind off things. He was actually looking forward to leaving the apartment, he spoke more, he tried things on his own. He bought his own pet – all these things with Sanji's 'gentle' pushing. He looked more lively, he actively put effort into his eating habits – if Sanji should leave him behind, what would happen?

He had caught Law looking at him strangely a few times; he felt like there was some looming presence there between them that had yet to be identified. Once he reviewed his memories, he realized that Law's awkward blush at the bookstore with Sanji fixing his scarf wasn't out of embarrassment with the public mothering. He was looking at Sanji with an expression of shy acknowledgment of someone else's touch.

Had anyone else tried to touch him in such a personal way? Made efforts for him that pushed him out of his own limited station?

Sanji felt like that man in the rapidly blinking meme. He placed a hand against his mouth with some rapidly descending shock, overlooking the fact that it was the same hand that he'd handled Bepo with.

Was this the right time to get the wrong idea of things? he wondered.