I wanted to finish all my stories in one go, but my schedule does not require me much time. 24 hours a day is not enough! Give me additional 10 hours! Damn, I want to live in Venus. The days are longer.

Disclaimers: I do not own TMoSH or any of its characters. Tanigawa-sensei does.

Warnings:Self-mutilation, suicide, and what-else.

Joyeuse Saint-Valentin; Adios mi Amor

"Hnn… Where am I?"

Groggily I tried to sit up in presumably a bed, my hands rubbing my eyes. Looking to my right I saw someone standing beside the bed, obviously staring at me this whole time. Restraining myself to look freaked out; I waited for my eyes to get clearer. And when it did, I grew more shocked to see the person standing beside my bed.

As she saw me move, she shifted in her seat, and stood up slowly. I eyed her at first before she walked towards the water dispenser, eventually bringing me water inside a styro cup. As soon as she did, she sat down and opened a big book that was beside her seat moments ago.

"…Why are you here? Nagato-san?"

Nagato-san shifted on her seat, her blank stare now focused on my eyes. A big, hardbound book was on top of her lap.

"I'm here to check up on you."

Due to that answer, my face lighted up. And without me knowing, I was already smiling. Nagato-san's quite puzzled face was turned to me, as if asking why a smile graced my features. As though she had read my mind, she turned away, and said,

"It is not because of Kyon-kun that I am here. I'm here because I want to."

At hearing that it wasn't because of Kyon—just knowing that Kyon does not care—my enthusiasm dropped a bit. The water drops on the IV cord towards my veins can be heard inside this sound-deprived room, making me tremble in fright. It seems like I was alone myself. It was only after a few seconds more that I answered back to her words earlier.

"That's so cute; you're actually concerned about my health?"

Hearing me finish speaking she turned her head to me like how mechanical dolls do. As soon as her eyes met mine, she spoke of words a lot more depressing than all.

"Suzumiya Haruhi thinks you've died. She was devastated that she could not find you after your pre-suicidal phone call last Christmas. "

It seems like Suzumiya-san was the only one who thinks of my health. Should I be happy? Or is this pity?

One thing: I don't need her pity.

I turned then to Nagato-san to ask something so blatantly obvious: "…How did you know?"

"….."

She just focused her eyes on the book she was reading, flipping on the pages as soon as five seconds was up. Growing tired of waiting, I turned back to the wall in front of me, wherein all that I can see is a vast expanse of whiteness. I feel like I'm already dead in this place. The water from earlier is left untouched, being held by both my hands that were resting on my blanket-covered legs. I sighed and wished for the ground to swallow me up rather than to leave me alone inside this silent room together with Nagato-san. I guess she hated me. Without me, it would require her more work. I guess another person had been added to the "I hate Koizumi Itsuki!" club.

I sighed again, as no answer came out from her lips. Drinking the insipid liquid as I breath was not an easy task to do. I wanted to choke by doing so, but the gag did not come. Instead, it left me sputtering and disturbed before I answered her silence,

"…Ah, I guess you wouldn't bother answering."

…..

After a month I've gotten out of the hospital. The doctors are amazed at how fast I recover. I cannot say anything else than to tell them that it might be because of my metabolism. I'm still young; I can blame anything on metabolism.

Nagato-san had stopped coming after a week of my hospitalization. And I do not need to be surprised after knowing that all my hospital bills are paid up. Of course, these are all Nagato-san's doing.

The year had already changed, and I've got less time to prepare for Valentines Day. Damn! I've got to give him chocolates! Well, I'll give the girls too, but just the obligatory ones.

Whether he eats it or not is not of my concern. All I know is that he will receive it, and he will take it. After that is not of my concern. I just want him to take the chocolate.

So I bought the chocolates pre-made and cooked them myself, and I actually had them delivered to him personally through Nagato-san.

I told Nagato-san to tell him that it was not from me, but from another admirer.

…Ah, damn, it's still winter, and I'm walking on the streets after work. Yes, I still have work, for Nagato-san had talked to my manager about my situation. It seems like she had posed as my younger sister. And she obviously made up stories to supplement the explanations she would be saying. Luckily, no one suspected a bit.

I snuggle my jacket closely, craving for the warmth that was never mine. Well, it was mine before Suzumiya-san replaced me.

Winter is the season I hate most; I get cold too easily. That is why ever since I was discharged from the hospital, I curled up in my kotatsu every single day. But the kotatsu wasn't of any help at all; I still feel cold. My wounds are still fresh, and whenever I'd accidentally knock it over something, it would throb badly. But then it would start to get warm, so I then begun doing it for the warmth it gives me. There's no pain anymore; there was only warmth.

But today's much worse than before. It was really cold. I already tried everything; I even sliced myself again! But the warmth did not come. Instead, the cold started to bury itself into the bowels of my skin. So today, I will try a method I've known ages ago, although I think it is quite dangerous. But it's for my sake! It will be dying because of cold or die while trying!

…So, when I get home I'll open the stove to make the room hot, and I'll sleep. I know I'll be able to sleep peacefully after that…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Author'sNotes:I'm on a hiatus guys, so sorry for the late updates.

I know; it was Koizumi that got physically, mentally, and emotionally hurt once again. Don't worry; next time I'll make it Kyon, although I prefer a Kyon that's mentally and emotionally unstable.

Don't you see how I've improved saying less on my A/N? I was kind of restraining myself actually; I don't want to blurt out anything unnecessary.

In the next it will be a full Kyon POV, I think? The one after that will be a new add-on. I hope I finish this in three more chapters. Seriously, this is getting long. Read and review! Questions are accepted. Ask me anything about this fiction, I won't mind.

Joyeuse Saint-Valentin means HappyValentines in French. Adios mi Amor means GoodbyemyLove in Spanish. Hope I'm not wrong in anything. That's all.