"Sumire-chan, does sex hurt for women?"

Her body flinched as though she had been pinched in the spine and she looked at Tobi.

"W-why are you asking me something like that all of a sudden?"

Deidara's eyes were narrowed from beneath the thin curtain that was his blonde hair. He was crouched low with a scraper and some paper towels. Up until the masked man had interrupted, Sumire and Deidara had been placed on gum-duty. Some patrons of the hall didn't think twice about spitting their chewed candies out onto the expensive carpeting and once in awhile the crew members had to spend a few hours thoroughly de-gunking the floors, because there wasn't a chance in hell that Kakuzu would order a carpet cleaning service.

"Well…" he fidgeted a bit.

The hesitation was only a show, he fully intended to make a mess.

"Then why would a woman scream during sex?"

He only liked to create some confusion.

"It's just an exaggeration, Tobi, hm." Deidara knew she became embarrassed with these sorts of conversations.

He was looking up at him. Still, his eyes were narrowed in suspicion.

"Hmmmmmmm."

"Some girls moan a lot during stuff like that, some can get really loud, especially if it's good."

Sumire went back to crouching, her face deeply reddened as she sprayed a fluid over the piece of gum they were supposed to be tending to.

"Then it must have been really good… Sumire-chan."

Deidara saw her curling up tighter, her gaze locked on the floor.

"Oi, can you go somewhere?" he snarled at the man who apparently wanted to say more.

"Hai!" Tobi skipped off.

"He's always on something, hm," Deidara grumbled, still glaring at him as he disappeared back into the foyer.

Meanwhile, Sumire was still staring at the floor. Why did he say that? Why would he say something like to me? He knows I can be sensitive about things like that, but he still said it. But it wouldn't come out of nowhere… he had to have thought of it because of something he told… he always has some weird information or scheme going on…

"Sumire."

She looked up.

"You okay?"

She nodded.

"Let's pry this gum off."

"Un."

They worked with little conversation. The blonde was making comments and small talk, but Sumire wasn't responding much. They finally managed to get the last bits of the gum off the carpet, and he said:

"You're not okay. Talk to me, hm."

"I'm just… I'm just wondering why he said that to me still. It… it's making me nervous."

"You know he's always saying whatever bullshit he can come up with. He just wants to get under your skin. Ignore him."

She headed towards the next piece of gum without a response to his encouragement. It bothered her. Something about Tobi's demeanor had depressed her. Deidara patted her shoulder when he made it to her side again. She looked at him.

"Something else is bothering you, un."

"Will you keep a secret?"

"It's about Hidan again? You slept with him?"

Tears were in her eyes.

"Wait? Did he hurt you?" he squeezed her upper arm. "Was it not consensual?"

"It was! It was…"

"It sounds like it wasn't, hm."

"It was, it really was, it's just…" she crouched to work while they talked. "I asked him not to go around bragging about it."

Deidara made a face at the floor. She expected him to listen? It's fucking Hidan. He could see the frustration in her eyes. She didn't expect him to keep it a secret, but she was hoping he would do it for her? He sighed. She's a sweet thing, but I guess it's just what was going to happen. She's going to be upset with him, and he's going to be an idiot and play it off like it's no big deal. Fucking piece of shit. You don't deserve her. His thoughts became progressively aggressive, and soon he was glaring.

"Deidara-san?"

"Huh?"

"You look mad. It was consensual! I agreed! Okay."

They were both standing again.

"It's not that." he huffed.

X

"Hidan-san is very happy today." Tobi had done his rounds and decided to end it with the one he knew would give him the least reaction.

Kisame was the only person who could reach the lights in the foyer without having to get a step stool. It was dark, for he had shut off the circuits to prevent his hands from being burned while he replaced the older bulbs.

"Is he?" he wasn't much interested in what Tobi had to say.

He assumed that he had some gossip. Kisame knew this man well, he knew he enjoyed meddling in others lives for amusement. Sometimes he too would be genuinely entertained by hearsay, but he had a feeling that something unpleasant was going to happen today and that that something was going to be Tobi's fault.

"Yes. I didn't know lots of sex could make a person so happy."

Kisame wasn't jolted, but he knew what Tobi meant by his statement. So Sumire gave in to Hidan, huh? But it is Hidan, they might have gone casual… I guess it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

X

A small crowd had gathered around Sumire, who was crying. Deidara had a hand on her head. Sasori looked irritated, and Itachi's calm face was filled with concern.

"Move out." Sasori snarled.

"I'm sure anyone else would be willing to take you in. Myself included." Itachi added.

Deidara had set out on a lecture. He explained his thoughts exactly and caused her to burst into a fit of sobs that had drawn the other two men to her side. Kisame and Tobi poked their heads into the hall because of the sound. It was then that Hidan came down the steps into the foyer.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"Sumire-chan is crying."

"What?"

He didn't wait for them to repeat and he jogged into the hall.

"Oi! What's going on?" he stopped because they were all blocking him. "Babe, are you okay?"

Babe? Each of the men thought.

She stared at him, her eyes were red.

"I asked you not to tell anyone." she sobbed.

"Tell anyone what?"

"Don't play dumb." Deidara snapped.

"She doesn't want to speak to you right now." Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"Wait… what the fuck did I do?"

"Go." Sasori's growled.

Hidan, genuinely confused, took a step back. What the fuck just happened? Why am I the bad guy?

"Snack-size, c'mere," he said.

Sumire was upset, but she wanted to talk to him alone. She started to move, and Sasori took hold of her sleeve. He shook his head when she turned to him. Wait, but I… The three men kept staring him down. And he snapped.

"Who the fuck do you think you're glaring at?"

"You, you piece of shit, un."

"So does someone want to tell me what the fuck I did then?"

Let me talk to him…

"Snack-size, c'mon. Will you tell me?"

She opened her mouth.

"We're done here." Itachi pushed her gently.

The three men guided her away from the Jashinist who could only watch with a look of fury. Those shitfaces. He kicked one of the chairs in the rows and leaped while clutching his foot.

"FUCK."

He limped back to the foyer where Kisame was wide-eyed, and Tobi was chuckling with a gloved hand against his mask.

"What?" he roared.

"Hidan-san, you shouldn't go around bragging," Tobi said.

His eyes widened. He was an idiot, but not entirely. Tobi dodged every fist Hidan threw at him while Kisame watched in a mix of shock and amusement. I wasn't expecting it to happen this fast.

In addition to every swing fist, he spat curse after curse. Then his knuckles met the wall at full force. He released another roar, this time in pain, and clutched at his bleeding hand.

The group that had just made it backstage heard the commotion. Sumire took the opportunity to slip past them and run. Of course, they followed, but she didn't care. She knew that sound.

"Hidan!"

She saw the blood. She saw Hidan land on his knees gripping his hand. In a flash, she was in front of him.

"What the hell?" she was exasperated.

"You idiot." she slapped his arm while kneeling. "You fucking idiot."

He didn't flinch. He only watched Sumire as she weakly beat against his chest.

"You're so stupid. You're so fucking stupid."

The rest of the men watched in a bit of awe as the pair on the floor who were gazing into each other's eyes. They saw an intimacy there that not one of them had with her. Hidan's eyes were red, but he was not crying. There was affection in his look none had seen before.

"You fucking idiot." she leaned on his shoulder.

"I heard you the first time."

"Shut up."

X

They were finally left alone. She tended to his wounds in one of the empty offices, but they were mostly silent. He would grimace as she cleaned the injuries, but he didn't try to start a conversation. When they were done she said:

"I'll see you at home."

She's still mad… it wasn't my fucking fault… well… it kind of was. She asked me not to tell anyone, but I talked to Kakuzu… He didn't say anything to anyone though so what the fuck?

He was irritated throughout the rest of the day. It had to be fucking Tobi. That fucking masked-face bitch. She's not gonna listen to me until I get home though… maybe I should get her something on the way… fuck… but what?

X

Sumire was half-asleep when she heard the front door open. He's late… But she did not rise to greet him. She was exhausted from the day. Maybe we'll talk about it tomorrow… unless he comes to speak to me himself. She heard something crash to the floor and some skittering. What the hell? Eventually, he knocked on the door. He opened it enough that he could stick his head through.

"Okay, wait I know you're still upset." He looked down the hall as though he were checking on something. "And I know I fucked up… damn it…"

He rushed back to the living room. She could hear his curses and some movement. What the hell is he doing? He returned but only with half of his body in the doorway, the other half was hidden behind the wall.

"I know you're never gonna forgive me, but I also know you get really cold at night, this house is cold. I get it. So…"

He paused again and darted his head out of sight. He was cursing again, and she thought she heard a "stop it."

"So while you're mad at me, I went out and got something to keep you warm." All of a sudden he was struggling.

Out of his arms sprang a small dog with a fluffy, tan coat and a curled tail. Sumire gasped and sat straight up gazing at the animal that dashed about the room in excitement.

"W-what…"

The dog leaped onto the bed and immediately licked her face. She scratched behind its ears, and her expression brightened. She giggled as it eagerly spun around in front of her. Then put its paws on her hand, requesting more petting. She laid down, and it cuddled against her abdomen, enjoying the feel of the small hand caressing its fur.

Hidan was grinning as he watched the woman's entire demeanor change. But tears began streaming down her face. The dog rose then lapped up the salty streaks.

"Wait. What? Did I fuck up again? Do you not like him?"

She shook her head.

Fuck.

"He's perfect."

"Oh…" He approached the bed but did not touch it. "Why are you crying though, babe?"

"I don't know."

The dog laid down again, gazing at Sumire's face and panting but not looking distressed. In fact, it's tail still wagged.

"I've never had a pet before. I'm just so happy…" She sniffled and wiped her nose. "What's his name?"

"The pound said his name was Chaiiro. But I've been calling him Tonchiki all day."

The dog's ears perked up at hearing the word. (Tonchiki = the Japanese equivalent of dimwit)

"You can't name him that!" She exclaimed, glaring at the man who had taken a seat near her legs.

"Okay… how about Di Ei." (Di = the letter D. Ei = the letter A.)

"Di Ei?"

"Short for Dumbass."

She gently kicked his hip and frowned at him.

"Hidan that's awful."

"Well, you pick one."

He put a hand on her ankle to keep her from kicking him again.

"He has such a dopey face."

"Dopi."

"Dopi?"

"Dopi."

She smiled at the dog and laid her head against the pillows. Her fingers ruffled the fur atop its head, and she whispered the name again. After a few more seconds of attention, it jumped down to the hardwood floor. It sniffed in a circle then crouched.

"Oh fuck, no! Dopi!" Hidan stood.

Sumire started laughing. The man dashed out of the room to retrieve some paper towels and disinfectant. He was cleaning up the mess while the dog returned to Sumire for more attention. She could hear him grumbling:

"Damn dog. Shitting on my floor. Doesn't he know I rent. Fuck man. How am I gonna get this stain out? Shit."

Sumire put the small animal aside and hopped off the bed to help him clean the remains of the accident. He sat back on his ankles, groaning in annoyance while she disposed of everything in the trash can. She grabbed some hand sanitizer and handed him the bottle. While he was busy, she dropped to her knees and pecked him on his chin.

"Thank you," she said.

He looked directly at her, and she showed him a bright smile.

"C'mere."

He grabbed her waist and drew her close so he could kiss her. The softest moan vibrated against his lips, and he let out a low growl. When they separated, he looked up at the dog perched on the edge of the bed.

"Sorry Dopi, I'm gonna need that bed right now."

She giggled as he scooped her up and tossed her. Dopi darted out of the way, then pranced around comforter. Hidan was on top of her just as quickly, but she put her hands on his chest.

"We are not doing it with a dog on the bed or even in the room, okay?"

"Why? It's not like he knows what we're doing."

"No! Just no! Get him out or no!"

"Fine."

He grabbed the happy dog by the middle and tried carrying him to the doorway. However, he frantically tossed and turned in his grip, pushing with its short legs against Hidan's arms.

"Dopi. No. Outside you fucker."

He placed it on the carpet in the hallway and shut the door. As he returned to the bed, they heard the sound of paws scratching against the wood. Sumire was giggling again.

"He's gonna fuck up the door. Damn it. Why did I get you a fucking dog?" he hissed.

He looked back at her amused face. That fucking smile is why. His tongue brushed over his lips, and he leaped onto the bed.

"In honor of our new roommate, I say we do doggy style."

"You are gross!"

He grabbed her leg to yank her down the bed sheets until their faces were at the same level. The tip of his nose grazed her cheek. The breath of a soft chuckle passed across her heated skin.

"I bet you got a little wet just from thinking about it."

She turned away from him, her heart fit to burst from her chest. He's so dirty! I can't stand him. She felt his fingers against her abdomen, teasing against the edge of her shorts.

"Not talking, huh."

He suddenly flipped her over and tugged the shorts to her ankles.

"Those are some sexy panties."

What is he talking about? They're solid colored? How is that sexy? He's such a freak!

"How about we grab those handcuffs again?"

She shifted onto her hip to look up at him.

"I'm not feeling very… dominating."

"I didn't say they were for me."

"On me?" she pointed at herself with an expression of shock.

His large hands caressed her midriff, then traveled up and down her thighs.

"No?"

"I don't know how I would react… I might freak out," she admitted.

"That's why we pick a safe word."

"Safe word?"

"Ah, if you say it then no matter what we stop."

"...what word?"

"Usually something that we never say during… probably food. Cuz I'm not into food shit."

"Um… uh… Wasabi?"

"Gross."

He hopped off the bed and calmly went to the closet. He returned with a fluffy pair of handcuffs.

"Perfect though." he chuckled and climbed back on top of her.

He kissed her gently, earning another aroused moan. He tugged her shorts off her legs with one hand and tossed them aside. They quickly descended into a plethora of passionate kisses. His hands were surprisingly gentle as they cupped and kneaded her.

Then there was a loud bark. Hidan lifted his head for second and looked back at the door. When there was no sound, he was upon her again. It was only a second later that another bark filled the house.

"How am I supposed to stay horny with a damn dog barking in the background?"

"Why did you get him if he was just gonna annoy you?"

He flopped onto his side, looking at her.

"You were pissed at me. It was all I could think of to make you feel better."

"It doesn't change what you did…"

He frowned. Sumire, just talk about it now, maybe you can resolve this…

"Why did you tell Tobi?"

"I didn't! I told…" He sighed and rolled onto his back. "I was just chatting with Kakuzu. He gets irritated when I brag about you. I was just doing it for kicks. I didn't say shit to Tobi."

"...then Kakuzu-sama told him?"

"Kakuzu isn't a gossip. He doesn't give a shit about stuff like that, it was fucking Tobi. He was probably eavesdropping."

Sumire suddenly felt sad. She curled up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

She was upset with herself for cursing at him, for letting the men overshadow her, for not having the courage to directly talk to him herself. Hidan slung an arm around her and planted a loud, wet kiss on her forehead.

"Ew." she wiped the saliva. "Don't slobber all over me!"

He chuckled.

"What are you laughing about?" she hissed.

"I'll be the stud, and you be the bitch in heat."

"You are so gross!"

He cupped between her thighs, and she gasped.

"But you're panties are soaked."

"Shush."

"You're a pervert too." he grinned.

"No, I'm not!"

"The idea of taking it from behind like a bitch is getting you hot, isn't it?"

"Shut up!"

"Want me to put a tail on you?" he was still chuckling, but his hand was gently rubbing back and forth. "Or maybe some ears? How about a suit? We can go full on furry if you want?"

She gently punched him in the chest.

"You're gross."

"Just the ears then?" he whispered.

The light friction made her release a soft whine. After another second she asked:

"...what kind of ears?"