Lovino froze. Antonio watched him as he stood perfectly still, not even seeming to breathe. Dread crept through his skin as he realized, he was right. His gut instincts when it came to this boy were right, as much as he didn't want to be. Antonio could feel his heartache as he realized what could have happened if he didn't notice how much he seemed to need someone, or if he hadn't missed his bus, or even if he had biked by at the wrong time.

He could have jumped. The thought made Antonio feel sick to his stomach, his pulse beating heavily through his chest. He met eyes with Lovino, and the frozen boy suddenly broke.

Tears streamed uncontrollably down his face, and his eyes seemed to widen in shock at his outburst of emotion, so different than when he lashed out at him in anger. It took a few moments before the sobs caught up to the tears, and Antonio watched in distress as Lovino brought his clenched fist up to his mouth, biting down on a finger to silence them. He was shaking uncontrollably.

"Hey… Lovi? Lovino? I'm gonna come closer, touch your shoulders, okay?" Antonio kept his voice soft, trying not to startle him. He couldn't imagine what would happen if he moved too quickly, or stood too close. Lovino was still standing so close to the edge… Antonio tried to put it out of his mind.

He needed to focus on what was happening now. Lovino didn't seem to reject Antonio's words, so he stepped forward, resting a hand on his shuddering shoulder. Lovino flinched, but made no effort to pull away, eyes still clenched shut. "Hey, it's okay. I don't know know what's going on, but it's gonna be okay," Antonio offered a smile, Lovino's eyes finding his face as he spoke.

"I-I can't… you don't know that, dammit… you don't know…" his eyes were panicked, and his voice had a sense of desperation.

"I don't know what's going on, but I know it's going to work out, Lovi," Antonio says firmly. The rain is picking up, he notices. They stream down Lovino's cheeks, mixing with tears until he can't very well tell the difference between the two. He might not have even guessed he was crying if it weren't for his puffy eyes.

Lovino opened his mouth to retort again, but Antonio cut him off. "It's getting a bit too stormy out here, yeah? My house is just a few blocks down, let's walk there - my mamá wouldn't mind, even if she's not home!" As Antonio offered, he guided Lovino away from the cliff, the immediate worry in his heart fading into a deeper ache of concern at the boy who followed him as if in a daze, chest still rattled with sobs.

"Is that okay?" Antonio asked, just to make sure he knew what was going on, or if it was better to do something else, like maybe just bring him home, or-

"Yeah, whatever, bastard..." Lovino's quiet voice cut through his worried thoughts. Antonio walked with Lovino in silence, both of their bikes left beside the cliff, the metal clinking as raindrops pounded down. Normally, Antonio would have never left them sitting there, especially in the rain, or else face his mother's strict lecture about how they might be stolen, or get rusted from the wet, but Antonio knew that these were different situations. She wouldn't mind if she knew that he was helping someone like this.

When the two of them got off the main sidewalk and Antonio wasn't as worried about the other boy running away or something similar, he let his hand drop the side. Lovino didn't look up, his eyes were glued to the pavement it seemed. Antonio wanted him to stop crying, but he wasn't sure how to go about doing that, not now or here where he surely wouldn't feel comfortable sharing whatever was wrong.

So instead, Antonio did what he did best - he started to talk. Or ramble, more accurately, filling up the space between him and Lovino with words, mostly meaningless. "I was really hoping that it wouldn't storm today," he said, "because my turtles are so scared of the thunder! And with it raining like this, it's probably going to thunder, don't you think? I would try to cheer them up by giving them their favorite treat, tomatoes - you know it's my favorite too! - but they get too spooked to even eat I think!"

He rambled on, exhausting topics from his turtles, to the book he was (not) reading in English, and even to the flowers he spotted growing in the cracks of the sidewalk in the school parking lot. Lovino didn't say anything in response to him, but Antonio didn't really expect him too. He did, however, notice the weak smile that caught Lovino's expression ever so often, boosting Antonio's confidence to continue.

When Antonio finally had run out of things to say, they had arrived at his house. He walked up to the door, punching in the four-digit code he had to memorize ever since he moved into the house. He heard a beep, and the door unlocked. Antonio walked in, pushing the door open as Lovino followed.

They were silent as he lead Lovino to his room. He couldn't stop from fiddling with his fingers nervously - he wasn't really sure what to do, all of this seemed too big. He knew that people usually said to inform an adult and all that - but what if that just made things worse?

He would tell his mamá when she got home, he decided. She wouldn't get him in any trouble. And for now… for now, Antonio would make sure he got warmed up, and he would be the friend Lovino clearly needed right now.

Antonio gestured for Lovino to sit down on his bed, but he hesitated. "We're both dripping wet, dumbass, I'll get it soaked" Lovino's voice had a biting tone, but no energy behind it.

"Ah, you're right!" Antonio forces out a small chuckle, "I'll get some towels, just wait here a sec." Antonio stepped out of the room, glancing behind him as he walked down the hallway. He got a small glimpse of Lovino, walking around, picking a few things up off his nightstand. The sight brought a small smile to his face.

He turned his attention to the small closet in his hallway. Opening it, he grabbed a couple of towels for the two of them. As he walked back into his room, he saw Lovino standing, as if he had never moved at all. "Here you go," Antonio said as he passed the towel to him, rustling through his drawers, grabbing a fresh shirt. He changed quickly, hardly noticing the awkward cough behind him.

"Do you want a dry shirt?" Antonio turned around, still pulling down his faded red t-shirt. It was well worn but comfortable.

"U-uh, sure. Yeah." Lovino flinched as Antonio threw the shirt at him, but he grabbed it all the same. "Just… turn around while I change, dammit.." he grumbled.

Antonio chuckled, muttering a quick apology as he complied. IT confused him a bit, but Antonio figured that Lovino might just be shy, and he certainly had reason to feel shaken up at the moment. The reminder of the situation Lovino had just been in sucked the laugh out of his chest, and the smile from his face.

He didn't want anyone he met to feel like what he had seen then. Antonio was determined to know more, to help in some way.

When Lovino was done changing, Antonio hung the two dripping shirts to dry before sitting himself down on his bed, face to face with the other teen.

"So, Lovi," Antonio paused a mix of anxiety and dread bubbling in his chest. He wasn't always good at this kind of stuff. Sure, he could make people smile with ease, and he would always help with getting tasks done, but he knew he could be a little dense with emotions. But this was important, so he had to do his best. "What happened? Why… why were you out there?"

Lovino looked away. His heart beat in his chest faster, and he found himself fidgeting, pulling on his fingers as he waited to see if Lovino would respond.

Finally, he did. "I just… I wanted all of this shit to end," Lovino said softly, his voice wavering. Antonio hummed, inviting him to go on.

"Everything's been so fucking dumb! Mostly me, I can't get up, I can't go to school, I can't do shit, just because I'm too damn depressed, and I just want it to stop! Today was just the last straw, the substitute in the one class I actually went to used my fucking deadname, and I just… I'm so fucking tired," Lovino choked back a sob.

"Ah.." Antonio felt his heart clench for the boy. He'd never had to deal with depression himself, but he'd seen Gilbert on some of his worst days until he started medication. But wait - "Deadname? Like… oh, are you trans?"

Lovino looked up, quirking an eyebrow. "Yeah, bastard, I thought that part might be kind of obvious," he said with a sniffle, wiping his face.

"Oh, sorry! I guess I didn't really notice.." Antonio rubbed the back of his head. "But that's no problem with me!" Antonio offers a reassuring smile. "And.. and I being depressed can make you lose hope, but it's not always going to be like that. My best friend Gilbert-"

"What, that potato-eating piece of shit?" Lovino scoffed.

"He's my friend, Lovino," Antonio stated firmly. "He's really not that bad!"

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever you say, bastard."

Antonio's eyes creased. He didn't understand why Lovino was being rude like that, and he was worried that he was just going to make everything worse somehow if he brought up someone he clearly didn't like.

Seeming to notice Antonio's expression, Lovino was looking guilty himself. "Shit, I'm doing it again. Look, I don't particularly like him or his brother but I don't know why I'm so fucking mean about it all the time, it just one of the reasons people would be better-"

Antonio cut Lovino's rant short. "No, don't finish that," he said firmly. He couldn't stand the tone of self-loathing in the other boy's voice. "You're upset, it doesn't mean you're a bad person, yeah? I forgive you, anyway."

While Lovino looked a bit shocked, he nodded anyway. "Look, I don't really know why you care so much about a stranger, bastard, but that's pretty much all there is to me. So that's why… yeah. That's why."

Antonio shook his head fervently. "I know that's not everything! You're a whole person Lovi- not just your hurt, or the bad times, or any of that! And.. talking about that kind of stuff might just make you feel better, anyways, and I want to help."

Antonio scanned Lovino's face for any sign of him being willing to actually comply. But his face was stubborn, unreadable to him. So Antonio tried a different idea.
"What if we play a game?" He pokes Lovino, who scowls at him.

"A game?"

"Yeah! I'll ask you a question, and you have to answer it, but you can ask me any question! It doesn't even have to be anything serious each time, it'll be… kind of like truth or dare! But just truth or truth, so we don't have to ask that part," Antonio explains.

Lovino rolls his eyes. "That sounds like a dumb kind of game, bastard."

Nodding his head, Antonio doesn't seem to be phased by Lovino's lack of enthusiasm. "Maybe, but we should still do it," he insists.

Sighing, he agrees. "Fine, then I take the first question. What's your favorite food?"

Antonio smiles. It worked! As long as he was talking to him, Antonio had to believe that things were going to be okay. "Oh, that's easy! I love Paella, and tomatoes, and_"

"Hey, dumbass, you can only choose one," interrupts Lovino. "But tomatoes are the best," he agrees, giving a small nod of approval.

"Okay then... Lovino who's the most important person to you?"

"That's easy, Feliciano," Lovino quickly replies. He takes his time to ask Antonio the next question, leaving him fidgeting, playing with his hands again. "Why did you stop me, today? What made you do it?" Antonio could only just make out his voice, with how quietly Lovino was speaking.

Antonio runs his hand through the curls in his hair, thinking. "Well, it was storming, and you didn't have a coat… but also, uh, you might think it's a little silly, but you just looked like you might have needed a friend," he said, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck.

"Hmph… well, you're right."

"Huh?" Antonio tilts his head.

"It does sound silly, you're a dumb bastard, too." Lovino takes in Antonio's taken aback look. "But I guess you weren't wrong, if that makes you happy."

Antonio laughs. "Yeah, I guess it does." He was starting to understand a bit more about Lovino just by the way he talked. It was obvious that he was hurting, but Antonio got the feeling that the biting remarks were just the way he talked, even if he didn't particularly dislike the person. The realization was relieving, but he also couldn't help but be intrigued by him. For some reason, Lovino made him pay attention, made him want to pay attention, even if he wasn't friendly in the same way as Antonio was.

"Hm, okay… then why didn't you tell anyone, before? Ask for help, or tell your brother, or someone…?"

"Oh." Lovino looked to the side, avoiding Antonio's gaze. He seemed to be biting his cheek as if he was doing anything to prevent himself from telling too much to Antonio, from being too vulnerable. But something was still compelling him to be honest, to vent to Antonio the things that he'd been holding back for so long.

"Feliciano worries too much about me. Ever since he found out about any of it, he saw that I hurt myself, he saw my depression get worse, and I just didn't want him to pity me, to worry over me. He's happy, he's talented, he's can make friends, I'm not- I wasn't worth it, dammit." Lovino's hand clenched into a fist, his nails biting into the skin. Antonio put his hand on his, and Lovino relaxed it.

"Lovi… you don't have to go through that stuff alone. Friends, Feli, me… even go to the school office!"

"Bastard, I wish it was that easy!" Lovino huffed. "I don't think I even deserve the help! I'm not sure if it would even do anything, make anything better, and that feeling.. That's so hard to fight, you don't get that, idiot!"

Antonio sighed. He knew he didn't understand, but still, he wanted to help Lovino, and yet he was still so upset. "Then how about someone asks you? I could, I don't mind listening to a friend! But if you do feel like hurting yourself, tell someone, yeah?"

Lovino hesitates, but eventually nods. "I'll try. You're still an idiot, though."

Antonio smiles. "Don't be mean, Lovi~"

"Dammit, I've been telling you, Lovino, it's hardly like we're friends anyways," Lovino snaps back at him.

He huffs. "Fine, let's get to know each other more, then! It's your turn to ask, anyways!"

The two sat on Antonio's bed for what must have been over two hours, talking. Antonio told Lovino about his turtles, about his dad leaving and how he would still get anxious that the rest of the people in his life would do the same, and how much he loved playing the guitar. Lovino talked about how insecure he always felt, especially being considered manly enough, but also how he wanted to paint, even though Feliciano was better at it than him, and how he used to care for a little vegetable garden in his backyard before his depression got worse.

Although the storm was still going outside as it got dark, Antonio's room felt warm and peaceful. Even the two turtles in his tank had settled down, Antonio realized with a smile.

"You know Lovi? I'm glad you're here. I like you," Antonio said.

Lovino couldn't stop a small smile from spreading across his face. It was tired, but still there. "Lo-vi-no," he sounded out, "but you're not too bad either. Even though you're an idiot. And a bastard."

Antonio laughed, "You know, it's kind of hard when you say all of those together, Lovi."

Both of their heads turned as the sound of the front door opening reached Antonio's room. Lovino flinched, glancing unsure at Antonio.

Noticing this, Antonio quickly reassured him, "That must be my mamá home from work," he smiled. "I'll tell her you're here, I'll be back!"

Antonio scuttled down the hallway and down the stairs to the front door where he found his mamá still putting away her bag from work. She looked tired, like she usually did after a long shift, but her eyes brightened as she saw him.

"I have someone over… is that okay? He needs help from a friend," said Antonio, looking hopeful.

His mamá smiled. "Of course, dear! I can make him dinner - let him know he can stay as long as he likes, alright? As long as you don't get behind at schoolwork," she added.

Antonio nodded quickly. "Of course! Thank you!"
Usually, he knew that she might not be so… well, completely lenient about having someone at the house with no notice, especially on a school night. But Antonio knew she wanted to always help others - maybe he'd picked it up from her, he thought to himself.

Returning to his room, and sitting on his bed, he let Lovino know that he could stay, for dinner, and for as long as he needed.

For a second, it seemed like Lovino might protest his offer, moth open and eyebrows scrunched - it was almost like he was embarrassed by the offer, it was kind of cute, Antonio thought - but instead he nodded.

"Yeah, that's fine. Sounds good, bastard."

"Do you need to tell anyone?" Antonio asked. He didn't want to get his newfound friend in trouble, after all.

"Oh, fuck," Lovino muttered, his eyes going wide.

"Huh? What's wrong?" Antonio's voice was a higher pitch than usual, concerned.

"Just - Feli's going to freak since I didn't come home. I'm known for doing dumb shit, after all."

Antonio didn't know how to respond to that, so he let out a chuckle, awkwardly, as he watched Lovino pull out his phone.

"Ah, shit, of course. My stupid fucking phone is dead - do you have an iPhone charger?" Lovino asked, holding up his lifeless phone.

"Ah, sorry Lovi! I have an android so…"

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Of course you do, dumbass. Can I… can I use yours?"

Antonio noticed as Lovino asked, he cocked his head to the left a bit. The fact made him smile, so he tucked it away. Maybe he would need a Lovi-brain-file, to make sure he remembered everything.

Antonio handed over his phone, and Lovino dialed the number, standing up from the bed to pace around the room. He couldn't hear much but Lovino's side, but from what he could tell, he had called Feliciano, who seemed to be speaking at a thousand miles per minute.

"Look, dumbass, I'm just having dinner here. Yes, I'm fine. I'll tell you what happened later. No, stupid, he's not a serial killer! It's Antonio, do you know Antonio? See? Then stop fucking worrying. Am I…? Uh, I'll ask…" Lovino let the hand holding Antonio's phone drop beside him.

"Hm?" Antonio asked.

"Uh… do you mind if I just… stay over? Don't let it get in your head bastard! I just don't want to explain everything right now…"

Antonio smiled. "Of course Lovi! You're welcome too. Besides, my turtles like you!" He gestures to the tank that holds his pets. One of them is hiding in its shell, and the other is munching on a piece of some vegetable, slowly.

Lovino shook his head at Antonio's antics but relaid the information over the phone to his brother anyways. Once he seemed to have comforted Feli, he finally hung up and handed the phone back to Antonio.

The two of them talked for the next hour. Antonio occasionally finding dumb videos for them to watch. But soon enough, the smell of the homemade meal wafted to Antonio's room. He giggled, hearing both his and Lovi's stomachs rumble.

"Looks like it's almost done!" Antonio chirped. "Let's go down, yeah?"

Antonio looked at Lovino. There was a smile on his face, and he nodded.

He knew this wouldn't solve everything, but for now, it seemed… everything was alright.

Notes: Thank you so much for reading this! I was never sure if Iwas going to finish it or not, but Ifinally did. It's like 1am right now for me? So I'm going to go to sleep (and anyone reading this at night, get some rest!)

Please feel free to leave comments if you got this far! It means the world to me! Also, let me know if you want an epilogue, or what you'd want to see ^^