Hi guys! It's been ages since my last update and this is a short one but this is a good one for all you e/c angst lovers out there.

Let me know what you think! More to come!

Phanty belongs to Leroux & Lloyd Webber

Erik

Despite my own protestations I inhaled sharply, letting out a shudder of a breath. I closed my eyes again so that she could not see… but she knew. She would have had to have been both blind and deaf not to know that I had begun to weep beside her. Still, she said nothing, only held my hand tighter and remained by my side, affording me the strength and companionship I never knew I needed.

We sat there together for a few moments until my tears had almost dried. Neither of us spoke, but she did not release my bandaged hand. It wasn't the first time her touch, her pityhad made me weep, but this time was no more bearable than the last.

"You should rest." She finally spoke, her voice gentle.

I drew a deep breath, wiping my eyes with my free hand, though tears were still welling in them. I looked down at her soft, perfect hand in mine. It didn't belong there. Every second her skin was in contact with mine she was being tainted… She had come back because she cared about me, and that just made it all the worse. For the past few months every move I had made had been to win her affections. I had done everything in my power to do just that; right or wrong. Wrong it had been, and wrong it still was. I didn't deserve her… I wanted her hand in mine for eternity but I released it and once more released her.

"You should go." I replied.

"What?" She began, looking down at her empty hand. "I told you, I… I want to stay and help you."

A tear rolled down my cheek.

"Christine, you do not belong here." I sat forward, my head in my hands. "I let you go because you do not belong here. You belong up there." I gestured to the world above. "Up there with the light and the living." I stood up and began to limp away from her.

"Erik, when my father died and I was in darkness, you were my light…" She began, rising and following me. "You… you are my light…"

I stopped.

"What do you mean by that, Christine?!" I probed, rounding on her. "What do you mean when you say things like that? Do you know how it makes me feel when you speak like that? What it… what it does to me?" I held my chest and turned away from her again. I couldn't let her see the tears, not again.

"Speak like what?"

"Like I am the most important thing to you! If I was your light you would not have left!"

"You sent me away!"

"Oh… and that is the reason you left?" I asked, haphazardly wiping my tears and moving closer to her. "Not because you were terrified of me? Not because you love another? What a relief that is to hear!"

"Do not speak to me like that." She spat.

"Well do not speak to me as though you love me when you cannot wait to get away from here!"

"I am standing here before you for a reason!" She argued.

"And what reason might that be?" I spoke, the words dripping with sarcasm.

"Because I care about you!"

I scoffed and turned away. My chest heaved as another wave of sobs threatened. Why was she doing this to me? Couldn't she see that her mere presence was enough to cripple me emotionally? That the promise of her contrasting the painful reality was too much to bear?

"Christine, please…" I begged, not entirely sure what I was begging for.

"Erik…" She approached me from behind. Now she too was weeping. "Talk to me! Help me to understand!"

"You cannot stay!"I yelled, sobs overcoming me as I made my way over to the shore of my lake and sat down on the cold stone I had become so familiar with. What could I do? She was here before me showing me everything I could not have... I wanted her to leave, but I knew that if she did I wouldn't be able to bear it. The conflict inside me was tearing me apart.

I heard her approach and sit down beside me.

My sweet Christine.

Stay

Stay and love me

"I do not know what to do." She spoke, emotion tainting her words.

"You do." I said. "Leave."

I felt her flinch behind me. Had my words stung her?

"Go." I said.

"Is that what you want?" She asked, her voice small.

No!

God, no!

I wanted her to stay above all else but I knew that she wouldn't. Not really. Not in the way I wanted. I didn't reply.

I could not speak. My words would only betray me and they would tell her to stay, but I couldn't have that. My chest heaved again. I couldn't stop the tears now.

She was staring at me, awaiting my answer.

My gaze did not shift from the water's edge before me as I slowly nodded.

She brought her hand to her mouth, inhaling sharply.

"Well…" She began, though she was clearly speaking through tears. "I don't wish to cause you pain. I would never wish that."

"I don't know why you came back." I spat.

What was wrong with me?!

I didn't mean that!

Why was I hurting her?!

I wanted to tear myself apart!

Christine stood up, her hand still held to her mouth.

"Goodbye, Erik." She spoke as she turned away.

At those words my chest ached.

I'd lost her again. I'd sent her away… AGAIN!

I turned to watch her walk away.

What was I doing?!

She'd come back into my life and I had thrown it in her face.

I must have been insane!

No, no no!

If there was any chance of her staying around, I had to take it, didn't I? I had to take it even if it killed me – because losing her again certainly would. I could already feel it. It was eating away at me. This hole in my chest was burning me from the inside out and I simply couldn't stop myself.

I shot up

"Christine!" I called. "Stop!"

Now almost at the other side of the cavern, she turned around. Her expression was unreadable. Was it sadness? Fear? …Hope?

I strode over to her has hastily, injured ankle be damned and took her by her narrow shoulders.

Her eyes were wide as they looked up at me, but not from fear… merely confusion, and … something else.

I knew that if I waited any longer I would lose my resolve and so, bringing one bandaged hand up to touch her perfect, porcelain cheek, I kissed her.

It was our second kiss – just as harried and clumsy, just as passionate and desperate as the first.

I didn't know if what I was doing was right, God forbid I was hurting her, but she had to know how I felt. And I wanted to show her how I felt, just as man shouldbe able to show a woman how he feels.

If only once.

I loved her.

God, I did.

And I would take whatever time with her she offered me.

If it meant the slightest chance that she would love me, I would do whatever I needed to.

I pulled away from our kiss – if you could call it that.

"Christine…" I breathed, tears still in my eyes – just like the first time our lips had touched.

"Don't leave."

...