Brittany is currently heading into Santana's office building. They haven't arranged to meet up today but she wanted to see Santana anyway and she's pretty sure she's working so she's going to surprise her instead of texting her to let her know she's coming. As soon as she gets inside, she heads over to the reception desk.
"Is Santana in her office?" Brittany asks the receptionist while making her way to Santana office, not bothering to wait and get the reply since she's assuming she probably is in her office.
"Yes she is but I've told you before Miss Pierce that I can't just let people walk right in there. I need to warn Santana" the receptionist replies. This is happening too many times to her and she doesn't understand why Brittany won't listen to her.
"Honestly, like I said the last time, Santana will be ok with me walking in there" Brittany shrugs.
"Miss Lopez has told me not to let people walk in like that so can you please just wait until I let her know you're here" the receptionist says while running over to stop Brittany from walking into the office.
"Trust me, Santana will make an exception for me" Brittany smiles before gently pushing past the receptionist and walking into the office.
"Emma I told you not…uh hi" Santana smiles at Brittany, pleasantly surprised to see her.
"Were you about to shout at Emma for letting someone walk right in here?" Brittany asks with a laugh.
"I was" Santana laughs. "When I realised it was you though then my anger quickly disappeared" she smiles. She doesn't generally like it when people walk in unannounced but she'll always make an exception for Brittany.
"To be fair Emma did try and stop me but I knew you wouldn't mind if it was me hence the reason I kept walking" Brittany replies.
"Yeah" Santana smiles. "So what's going on?" she asks.
"Well I don't want to put you in awkward situation but I need to talk to someone and I don't know who else to talk to so I was hoping you could help me" Brittany admits.
"Brittany it's fine" Santana smiles. "You can talk to me about anything" she adds.
"We're dating now so I didn't want you to feel uncomfortable about stuff but I really need some advice on talking to Rachel" Brittany replies.
"You want to talk to Rachel?" Santana asks surprised.
"I feel like I need to clear the air somewhat if I can" Brittany nods.
"Oh" Santana states. It's not that she doesn't want Brittany to talk to Rachel to try to smooth things over but at the same time Rachel is her ex. Brittany and Rachel did love one another at one point so it is slightly weird for her since she and Brittany are dating now.
"I'm just not sure how best to approach the situation. I mean is it too soon to be trying to talk to her?" Brittany asks.
"I don't know because I obviously didn't see her reaction the last time you talked to her. I mean did she give you the impression she'd be willing to talk at some point once things had settled down" Santana asks.
"Not really" Brittany laughs. It's not that she's laughing because it amuses her; she's laughing out of frustration because she doesn't know what to do. "I feel like I need to at least try and explain things a bit more and try to figure out where we go from here."
"Fair enough" Santana nods. "I don't know if you should be telling her about us right now though" she points out. She thinks it might be just a little too much too soon.
"No I'm not going to do that right now" Brittany shakes her head.
"Ok" Santana smiles.
"So do you think it is ok to talk to her then?" Brittany asks for clarification.
"I don't see the harm in trying" Santana shrugs.
"Ok cool" Brittany nods. "So enough about Rachel, how are you today?" she asks.
"I'm really good" Santana smiles. "I'm excited about our date in a couple of days" she adds happily.
"Yeah me too" Brittany replies.
After spending some time together just chatting and catching up, Brittany decides she better leave and let Santana get on with her work. She also thinks it might be a good idea to do some work herself considering she hasn't been there that much this week. She does like the way things are going with Santana but it can make her distracted at times so she knows she needs to make more of an effort at work.
Brittany is walking into the apartment building where Rachel lives. To say she's nervous is an understatement because she really doesn't know how this talk with Rachel will go. She's not even sure if Rachel will be home right now but she has to give it a try so things can be smoothed over sooner rather than later. She is keeping an open mind though because Rachel has every right to refuse to speak to her so things might just not be sorted soon.
Brittany arrives at the apartment and knocks on the door. She's only waiting a matter of seconds before the door opens.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Rachel asks, a mix between shocked to see Brittany and annoyance that she's here right now.
"I just want to make sure you're ok Rachel" Brittany admits. "I never meant to hurt you so…"
"So you're here to make yourself feel better then?" Rachel asks, cutting Brittany off.
"What do you mean?" Brittany asks confused.
"You're not here to make sure I'm ok, you're here to make sure what you've done hasn't made me do anything stupid. You don't care about my feelings otherwise you would have never lied to me" Rachel states.
"Please can I just come in so we can talk" Brittany states.
"I don't want you here Brittany so no" Rachel shakes her head.
"Look, I feel like you don't know the full story yet so I want to explain and since I'm here, I would like to collect the stuff I left here" Brittany replies.
"Fine" Rachel huffs before moving out of the way to let Brittany into the apartment.
"Thank you" Brittany replies while making her way to the kitchen, following Rachel.
"You might as well start talking because I've got nothing to say right now" Rachel states.
"Look I did love you Rachel and I still care about you tremendously as a friend. That I was not lying about" Brittany assures Rachel. "Things just got difficult in our relationship and when I wanted out, your brother took that opportunity to hurt me. I know you don't believe me about Matt but surely you have to believe that I did care about you."
"I know we had our struggles after a while but I genuinely thought we were working through things and going to get married" Rachel states. "I feel so embarrassed right now for thinking I had a future with you when you had no intention of loving me."
"We have known each other for years and never once I have done anything to deliberately hurt you so you must have some sort of feeling in the back of your mind that believes part of what I'm saying" Brittany says.
"I really want to believe what you're saying Brittany but nothing is making sense" Rachel sighs. "I actually thought we were happy together so now that you're telling me that latterly you didn't love me anymore makes me wonder if you ever really did because the way you acted didn't change. Do you see what I'm saying?" she asks. If Brittany had a change of heart recently then Rachel assumes she would have been acting differently and becoming more distant but to her there were no drastic changes so it makes her wonder if anything was ever true.
"I know what you're saying Rachel but I never stopped caring about you so that's probably why it didn't seem much different. We started as friends so we always had that bond so whatever I did was because I cared for you" Brittany explains.
"Who did you used to think about in bed?" Rachel asks.
"What do you mean?" Brittany asks. She's not quite sure what Rachel means by that.
"We've slept together since you supposedly didn't love me any more so what got you through those nights. Was there another girl?" Rachel asks.
"Rachel…"
"I'm serious. I'd like to know how you got through that because it must have been real hard sleeping with me when you didn't want to" Rachel replies.
"It wasn't exactly like that Rachel. Look I'm really trying to apologise here and you're not listening to me. I know I've hurt you so much but it was never my intention" Brittany says honestly.
"I don't think you coming here was a good idea because everything is still really raw" Rachel sighs. "Every time I see you it reminds me of what's going on and right now I just want to get on with my life and move past what happened" she states. It's clear to her that she and Brittany will never be the same again so she just wants to move on but seeing Brittany all the time isn't helping her do that.
"That's fair enough and I will stop bothering you. I honestly just want to make sure you're doing ok because I am the cause of your heartache" Brittany says.
"I get that but why do you care. You clearly don't want to be with me so why do you still care?" Rachel asks.
"Like I said earlier, we were friends first so I'm always going to want to be your friend" Brittany replies. It might be a bit more awkward now after a breakup to be friends but she does generally want the best for Rachel.
"This is all just too mixed up, I think you better just go" Rachel sighs while shaking her head. She really can't see how Brittany wants to be her friend but not be with her anymore. She knows she doesn't think she can be Brittany's friend right now after what happened so it's all confusing.
"Ok, I'll go" Brittany nods while making her way to the door. "If you ever do want to talk more about this then we can. Just let me know" she says.
"I doubt I'll want to talk any time soon but ok" Rachel nods.
"Well take care Rachel" Brittany says sincerely before leaving.
XXXXXXXX
After a hard day at work amongst other things, Brittany and Santana have finally just sat down together in the restaurant for their date. They've already ordered some drinks and are now looking over their menus.
"So how has your day been?" Santana asks as they look over their menus.
"It was ok but I did go and see Rachel" Brittany replies sadly.
"Oh" Santana nods.
"She's just not taking things well I don't think but I mean who can blame her" Brittany states.
"Right" Santana sighs. She doesn't want to seem selfish but she is getting a little annoyed about hearing about Rachel all the time. She knows the girl was hurt but Brittany has apologised time and again so what more can she do. Rachel clearly doesn't want to accept Brittany is sorry so Santana feels like she should just leave it there for the moment.
"Are you ok?" Brittany asks, noticing Santana seeming a little down about something.
"I'd just prefer it if we talked about something different" Santana admits. She doesn't want to spend every date they have talking about Rachel.
"I'm sorry, I just feel really bad about the whole situation" Brittany replies.
"Maybe we should just call this date off then. I mean we haven't even ordered yet so it's easy to do so we can pick things up another night" Santana states.
"You don't want to spend time with me tonight?" Brittany asks surprised.
"No I would love to spend time with you; I just don't wish to spend time with Rachel" Santana replies. "I know she's sad etc. etc. but she isn't our responsibility. You've tried to smooth things over and it hasn't worked so maybe you should take that as a sign to leave things be just now" she adds.
"I just hate being the cause of someone's misery" Brittany admits.
"I know and I like that you care so much but at the same time, you're caring about Rachel and kind of neglecting us. Every day we've spoke, you've at least mentioned two sentences about Rachel and it's taking over things. I really like you Brittany and I'd rather not discuss your ex when she should be the past and I should be the future" Santana states. This is the most open she has been about her feelings because she didn't want to scare Brittany off but she feels it needs to be said now.
"Sorry" Brittany smiles while reaching over the table to take Santana's hand. "By the way you're super-hot when you get all worked up over something" she smirks.
"I'm being serious Brittany" Santana shakes her head. This isn't all just a big joke to her.
"I know and I totally get what you're saying, I do" Brittany assures her. "At the same time though I can't lie either, you are hot" she smiles.
"Does this mean we can get on with our date and forget about Rachel now?" Santana asks.
"Who?" Brittany asks with a smirk.
"I'll take that as a yes then" Santana says with a laugh.
"It's a yes" Brittany smiles. "So what are you having to eat?" she asks after another minute or so of them looking over their menus.
"The chicken seems nice so I might have that" Santana replies. "What about you?" she asks Brittany.
"I think I'll go with the pasta" Brittany says.
"The pasta did look good too, I wonder if I should go with that" Santana says, unsure now what to have to eat.
"We could share if you want" Brittany shrugs. "I'll order the pasta and you order the chicken and then we'll split the two dishes" she suggests.
"Sounds good" Santana smiles. She feels weird thinking it, but Brittany suggesting that has really made her even happier than she was. It might sound silly but it feels like they're even more compatible together because they like the same things and Brittany wants to share those things with her. It's a really simple thing to share food but it does genuinely make her happier.
They spend most of the date laughing and joking together while enjoying the good food and wine. Santana really can't think when the last time was that she was this happy. She is happy at work at times because nothing gives her more joy than a wedding all coming together just nicely but, her personal life is another matter. She forgot how great it was to have fun and spend some time with someone.
"I had fun tonight again" Brittany smiles as they leave the restaurant.
"I did too" Santana smiles back.
"I'm paying next time though" Brittany states. She wants to treat Santana for a change so she's insisting on paying the next time.
"That's cool" Santana smiles.
"Hey do you want to come back to mine for a drink or something?" Brittany asks.
"Sure" Santana smiles again. When she's with Brittany, nothing can wipe the smile from her face.
"Cool, I'll get us a cab" Brittany replies. As soon as they get a cab, they head back to Brittany's apartment. It doesn't take them long to get there since the restaurant was relatively close to where Brittany lives.
"I don't know if I've ever said it before but the views from your apartment are stunning Brittany" Santana says as they head out onto the balcony to sit.
"Thank you" Brittany smiles.
"All you can see from my balcony is the roof of the apartment building next door. It's really not attractive" Santana says laughing.
"Well you can come over here any time and enjoy the view" Brittany smiles.
"I might just be here more than you think" Santana shrugs.
"Anyway, what can I get you to drink?" Brittany asks. "I've got water, wine, soda, whatever you want" she adds.
"I could be down with a cheeky glass of wine" Santana replies. She is working tomorrow but it's not like she needs to drive or anything so one glass won't hurt.
"I'll be back in a second then" Brittany smiles before heading inside. She comes back out a moment or so later with their wine and sits down next to Santana.
They start of just chatting and sipping their wine but as the evening breeze picks up, Santana finds herself moving closer and closer to Brittany. Brittany seems to do the same thing before eventually grabbing a blanket from inside and putting it over them. The talking has decreased somewhat so now they're just enjoying being snuggled up in each other's company.
"Thank you" Brittany says breaking the silence between them.
"What for?" Santana asks confused. It just seemed to come out so randomly so she doesn't know what's going on.
"For making me happy again" Brittany smiles while turning her head to look at Santana. "I know I hurt Rachel so…"
"Brittany, please" Santana sighs slightly. She thought they agreed to have a Rachel free night.
"Let me say something, please" Brittany smiles.
"Ok" Santana states.
"What I'm trying to say is I know I shouldn't really have the right to feel down about stuff because I hurt Rachel not the other way around but there were times that I thought I would never get out of that relationship. Sometimes I genuinely thought I would never be happy again but you have made me happy and I can really see this turning into a wonderful relationship" Brittany says honestly.
"Brittany, I…" Santana really doesn't know how to respond to that with words so instead she leans forward and kisses Brittany passionately. Not only was it nice what Brittany said but Santana feels the exact same way. Brittany has made her so happy too and sometimes she didn't think that would happen because she was always too preoccupied with work.
"That was unexpected" Brittany says smiling. It's not that she didn't think Santana and she would kiss tonight; it's the suddenness and passion that Santana kissed her with.
"Maybe we should go inside, it's getting a little cold out here" Santana suggests.
"I agree" Brittany smiles before grabbing the blanket and taking Santana's hand, leading her inside. She then locks the door behind them and throws the blanket to the couch.
"I know we're both working tomorrow but I'd like to stay a bit longer" Santana says with a smile.
"I'd like you to do that" Brittany nods before pulling Santana towards her to kiss her. "This might be a little forward of me so if you don't want to then it's totally ok but do you maybe want to go to my room?" she asks as they pull out of the kiss.
"Yeah" Santana says shyly. She is nervous about it but at the same time it feels like a natural progression for them and she does want to do it.
"Ok" Brittany smiles while taking Santana's hand and gently leading her through to the bedroom.
Things are a little awkward at first as they get used to more than just their lips touching since they've never done anything more than innocent kissing before, but they soon find a nice rhythm as they begin kissing more intensely and letting their hands roam the others body. Brittany gently guides them to the bed and they begin undressing before lying down.
"What?" Santana asks, laughing embarrassingly as she notices Brittany looking at her for longer than she thought she would.
"Nothing" Brittany smiles and shakes her head.
"Have you never seen a woman naked before?" Santana asks. She's starting to get a bit more self- conscious now with the way Brittany is staring at her.
"No I have but I've just never seen someone as beautiful as you naked before" Brittany smiles.
"Oh" Santana replies, looking down. Shy is not a word that she would usually use to describe herself but being around Brittany does make her nervous. She knows exactly what she's doing but because she's doing it with Brittany then it's nerve wracking. Brittany is this fun and confident person so it can be intimidating especially when she's falling for her a lot quicker than she intended to.
"Come here" Brittany smiles while pulling Santana close and kissing her before rolling her over slightly so she can straddle Santana's hips.
Brittany is making her way to her bedroom to see if Santana's awake. It's reasonably early in the morning now and even though they did have a late night last night, both of them need to be at work soon. Brittany would love if they could pick up right where they left off but she knows they shouldn't.
"Running out on me are you?" Brittany asks with a smirk from the doorway where she stands with 2 cups of coffee as she notices Santana jumping around trying to put her clothes on.
"No, I just have work to get to" Santana replies with a shrug while putting the rest of her clothes on.
"If we weren't dating right now, I'd think you were trying to avoid me" Brittany points out. She knows herself they're both busy today but she thought they could surely have some time for coffee together.
"I just need to get to work, that's all" Santana shrugs again.
"Ok" Brittany nods.
"So I should go now" Santana says while making her way out of the bedroom and towards the apartment door, collecting her things that she left in the living room on her way.
"Can I at least get a kiss goodbye?" Brittany asks with a smile as she follows Santana.
"Uh…sure" Santana replies while pecking Brittany's cheek before running out the door. Brittany just stands there for a moment staring at the door wondering what just happened. She knows Santana had work but she just thought her exit was rather sudden.
As soon as Santana gets to work, after making a quick detour home to freshen up, she gets right into working on the latest wedding she is planning. She wants to take her mind off things for the moment and put her focus on her work this morning. She's just sorting out a seating plan when her receptionist comes in with Mercedes. With her head being so messed up this morning, she totally forgot she arranged to catch up with Mercedes over coffee.
"You've forgot haven't you?" Mercedes asks amused. She can tell by the look on Santana's face that she didn't remember.
"I'm sorry" Santana apologises.
"It's ok" Mercedes shrugs. She's not really that offended by it.
"Would you mind if we just stayed here and had coffee instead of going to a coffee shop?" Santana asks.
"We can totally reschedule if you want" Mercedes offers.
"No I want us to catch up. I just started something here with a wedding since I forgot we were meeting up so I don't want to leave the office in the middle of everything" Santana replies.
"Yeah well I'm fine staying here for coffee" Mercedes smiles.
"Ok good" Santana smiles back. "Emma could you get us two coffees please and bring them back here to my office?" she asks her receptionist.
"No problem Miss Lopez" Emma nods before going to get them coffee. Santana is just getting caught up on Mercedes' life when Emma comes back with the coffee.
"Thank you Emma" Santana smiles and then Emma leaves. "Ok so where were we?" she asks.
"Talking about me but I think we should change the subject because my life is not as exciting as yours at the moment" Mercedes states. "You had a date with Brittany last night, how did that go?" she asks interested.
"It was fine…until I ran out this morning" Santana says shaking her head at the memory.
"Why did you run out?" Mercedes asks.
"I'm so embarrassed" Santana sighs.
"You're embarrassed now or you ran out because you were embarrassed?" Mercedes queries.
"Both" Santana replies.
"What were you embarrassed about?" Mercedes asks curiously. Santana is one of the most confident people she knows so she doesn't quite understand what's going on.
"Me. I am embarrassed about me" Santana says taking a deep breath.
"What do you mean?" Mercedes still doesn't understand the situation.
"I'm one of the most confident people there is usually but being with Brittany brings out this other side of me. What if I was no good last night?" Santana replies.
"Oh you two…"
"Yeah and it's been so long that maybe I was horrible in bed" Santana sighs. She seems like a confident person to everyone and that's usually true but it's only natural for her to be a little self-conscious when it comes to something important to her. She wants her and Brittany to work so it means more to her than a lot of other things in her life right now.
"I really doubt Brittany would agree with that" Mercedes replies. She's seen the way Brittany looks at Santana so she's sure Brittany didn't have any issues with them.
"People can think what they want about me at work and call me a bitch is they wish" Santana states. "I don't care about any of that because its work, I mean I know I'm good at my job and I don't care how I fulfil my role. If I need to be rude to get things done then fine but at home it's different."
"I get that" Mercedes nods.
"I care about Brittany though and what we have and what she thinks of me, I don't care about work. I mean yes I want my business to be a success but it's not what truly makes me happy, Brittany is what makes me happy" Santana admits.
"From what I've heard, Brittany really likes you already" Mercedes reassures her.
"Yes but this was the first time we slept together. I mean I know sex isn't everything but let's be honest, it's a big part of a relationship. If you're not attracted to someone then you don't want to see them naked or have them all over you" Santana replies.
"I think you're overthinking everything Santana. It is ok to be happy and to not have any problems in a relationship" Mercedes tells her.
"I'm certainly not inexperienced but I'm no expert either with women. I don't sleep around with everyone I date so maybe Brittany has had better before" Santana points out. She's not listening to what her best friend is trying to tell her. She just keeps going over and over her insecurities.
"No harm to this Rachel girl but I've seen her and Brittany is certainly punching above her weight now than she was before" Mercedes states.
"That sounds like something I would say not you" Santana laughs. She's a little surprised by what Mercedes said.
"I guess I just spend too much time with you these days" Mercedes laughs. "Seriously though, I don't mean any offence to her. I'm just trying to make you feel better" she says honestly. If that's what makes Santana listen to her then she'll say that.
"So do you really think I am overreacting then?" Santana asks.
"A little bit, yes" Mercedes says honestly. "Look just talk to Brittany and see what she thinks. I don't think she's the type of person to lie so she'll be good with the conversation as long as you explain what's going on in your head."
"Ok" Santana nods.
XXXXXXXX
Santana decided it was best to talk to Brittany in the evening since they were both working so it's evening now and she's heading to Brittany's apartment. She did think of sending Brittany a text to let her know what was going on so Brittany wasn't worrying all day but at the same time, what she wanted to say was better explained in person and not over a text.
When she arrives at the apartment, Santana nervously knocks on the door and waits patiently until it opens. It's takes a minute or two for Brittany to open up the door so Santana's nerves really don't settle at all since she's left with her own thoughts swirling around her head.
"Hey, I didn't realise you were coming over" Brittany says with a smile as she sees Santana at the other end of the door.
"It was a spur of the moment thing really" Santana replies.
"Well come in anyway" Brittany says while moving from the door to let Santana in. She then shuts the door and leads Santana to the kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?" she asks.
"Yeah, water is good for me" Santana replies.
"Ok" Brittany nods before going over to the fridge to get them some water. Santana meanwhile takes a seat at the table.
"I'm sorry I ran out this morning" Santana apologises.
"It's ok but why did you?" Brittany wonders as she walks over to the table with their water.
"It's nothing you've done, it was just me being weird as usual" Santana replies.
"What do you mean?" Brittany asks.
"It's not an attractive quality I have but I felt self-conscious last night" Santana sighs. She doesn't want to load this on Brittany so soon because being insecure can put the other person off but she does want to be honest.
"Self-conscious about what?" Brittany wonders.
"Believe it or not but I don't meet that many girls often" Santana says.
"Santana you're smoking hot, I find that hard to believe" Brittany smiles.
"I'm serious, I think with how serious I am at work then it comes across differently to what I am when I'm not at work. They see things in me at work that would put them off dating me or even talking to me so I don't meet that many girls and if I do it's outside of work. Then when I do actually date someone it means something because I take my time to get to know them. I've maybe only had one proper girlfriend and a few almost relationships before so I might not be everyone's cup of tea in bed, you know" Santana shrugs.
"You were amazing" Brittany smiles.
"I don't like being this weird and vulnerable" Santana sighs. She completely overlooked the compliment because she was too worried about last night.
"Santana I am serious, everything was great last night. Well certainly from my end I felt it was great" Brittany states. "I don't just hook up with any attractive girl so when I do it means something too" she smiles.
"It's so weird for me because I am a very confident person but being around you makes me so shy. I guess I feel intimidated by you or something" Santana points out.
"Oh there's nothing to be intimidated by" Brittany shakes her head. "If anything I should be intimidated by you because you're very beautiful whereas I would say I'm just average looking."
"I really did enjoy last night, I just panicked this morning" Santana admits. "But did you think it went ok?" she asks.
"Ok I will admit that last night wasn't perfect but that's understandable because we've never slept together before so we don't know the intricacies of the relationship yet. I mean I'm still getting know things in general about you not just sexually but our likes will become more apparent the more we do it" Brittany states. "That doesn't mean that I didn't have fun though" she assures Santana.
"So you suggest we keep having sex to find out more?" Santana asks with a slight smirk.
"Absolutely" Brittany smiles. "No seriously, we're still finding a balance I guess but it doesn't mean last night wasn't good because it was. Even though some of it's new to us since it's a different relationship we're in, it doesn't mean it's any less exciting."
"I really am sorry about this morning" Santana says honestly. She feels awful about just rushing out and not talking to Brittany.
"I'm not that offended by it because I know you're not the type of person that would just ignore things. I knew you would explain the situation in your own time so it's all good" Brittany smiles.
"You're an amazing person Brittany" Santana smiles.
"So are you" Brittany smiles before leaning down to kiss Santana. "So since you're here, do you want to stay for dinner?" she asks.
"I'd love to" Santana replies.