So what if she was? So?
"You… what…?"
Anna gazed at her wide-eyed, her fingers aching for a little touch. Aching… dying to find out if she was telling the truth. Because she… was so desperate for true love… for the warmth to envelope her whole. So desperate to get rid of this feeling of being shattered into broken pieces.
But perhaps… she was broken if she was begging for a certain touch. There wasn't anything… from the little twitch of her smirking lips… to the darkened glimmer of ocean blue eyes… that would hint that Elsa was joking. Anna felt a surge of hope passing through her, hitting her with all its might.
The redhead gulped. Her heart was pounding. Her throat was dry. She was rendered speechless. Nothing could make Anna say much at this point. Nothing could make her feel so much better other than her.
And nothing feels better than to hear those three words…
Elsa tilted her head. "I figured… there's something about you that I can't look past…" she breathed, running a single finger down her flushing cheek. She glowed with burning desire. Oh, how Anna trembled from her touch… How weak her knees had gotten from being her captive. How smitten she was to the infuriating blonde sitting beside her. "You are… so easy."
"Easy…" she repeated. Is she insulting me? Anna wasn't sure if she was speechless because of that or something else.
Was it love? Anna doubted it. Lust… It could be. Whatever she was feeling, she had to get past it. She didn't need to feel another wave of regret, and experience another night of desire for sex… Something to numb her from that feeling of being crushed.
She licked her lip, tasting the lingering touch of her fingers. More. "Miss… Arendelle, this is work we're talking about."
Elsa raised her eyebrows. "I see…"
Must it really be this way?
She cleared her throat, avoiding as much of the color in her eyes. "So… if this is what we've agreed on, we can arrange an appointment—"
"What's the real reason why you don't do BDSM?" Anna paused, her fingers clenching together. Nothing felt so hurt than to think about the time, she'd felt cheated… To feel used… To feel so dirtied. This felt too personal. Or rather… Too much. Once again, Anna felt as if her body had just been violated from head to toe. But she knew Elsa meant no harm. And I can keep thinking that.
She forced her gaze towards her. "Just… didn't like it—"
The way Elsa stared at her wasn't something she wanted to see either. What a curious pair of eyes.
"Didn't like it, or was it a one-sided relationship?" Silence. Anna was gaping at her, appalled… And ashamed. So, Elsa could see through her this easily. Perhaps, she was just that obvious. She could feel her smile fading, as if she'd just lost a piece of herself. With Elsa by her side - the soft voice, the delicate touch - well, she didn't mind losing herself for her. Does she care?
"It's… none of your business. You may be a client, but… this is my personal matter." Her voice was meek but behind her gaze and that certain softness… contained a ball of hurt swirling around her chest. Anna couldn't figure out if Elsa was trying to open her up, or to just… Pry deep into her very thoughts. Either one sounded awful.
Elsa sighed, and let her eyes soften. "My apologies."
She chewed on her bottom lip. "You're not the first one to ask me that." She really was the first one to ask her that. Oh, but of course, she didn't want Elsa to feel awful. A part of her tried to tug her away from that thought. Every time, it was a game of tug of war, and Anna was the one being played.
"I think we've had enough for tonight." Elsa got up and offered a hand to Anna. "I'd like to take out for a drink. To make it up for tonight."
The woman looked up, and she knew, her vulnerability was showing. She was tired, mindlessly reaching for Elsa's fingers. Soft and gentle, but Elsa was nothing of that sort. Gods, even the coldness of Elsa's skin had left her chasing the woman for more. As if… Elsa had already grasped her… Chained her just by her very touch. Anna didn't mind it one bit. "Let me get you a drink."
How could such a beautiful woman be so rough…?
Her lips twitched to a grateful smile. "You are a mystery, Elsa."
She looked down to hide a shy twitch of her lips. "I'll take that as a compliment."
And yes, all she needed was a little drink to numb everything. Ah, it'd become a habit… But a habit that Anna was going to use more often.
"So you're an architect. Have you finished any projects?" Anna took one of her…. countless amount of drinks. Dear lord, it was only supposed to be one!
It was quiet and dark here in the bar, and candles were only the only few sources of light around the area. Already having to arrange their appointment, Anna stayed around for a hit longer than usual. So far… It was only just two girls having a nice conversation with each other. The idea of being a client and an escort had long gone from Anna's mind. Of course, she'd gotten lost into her as they continued to know more about each other through the night. Ah, this wasn't so bad.
Elsa twirled her seltzer water around, dipping her slice of lemon into the drink. "That building a few blocks down. Small, but… Very attractive." She gazed at her. "Like you." And a smirk. The cheeky woman, she was.
Anna's cheeks glowed crimson. How she didn't see that coming was completely beyond her. She didn't know how long they'd been sitting in a bar—Anna forgot the name—but she knew she was getting a bit drunk. She said she didn't drink… But at this point, drinking felt rather comforting. She cleared her throat and turned to the TV. A game of football was playing… Not that Anna really cared much about sports.
"A-Anyway, I think I've seen it. Looked... sharp. You know, almost like the end of a sword - and so shiny too."
That prompted a small chuckle from Elsa. More amused, than humor. "Yes, if you want to put it that way. Not the best design… But…" She cleared her throat, fingers tugging her tie. "You wouldn't believe what inspired me to design it this way."
Anna smirked. "Have you met me? I'd believe anything." Which… probably was the worst thing that'd come out of her mouth tonight. She swore she saw Elsa's eyebrows twitch to a frown.
She took a sip of her water. "I really like winter. I've always loved the snow that falls from the sky… Seeing how every little fractal is different. Small and beautiful. Nothing can be compared to the beauty of a single snowflake." Anna would've thought it was something inappropriate. Elsa… didn't seem so bad all of the sudden. Perhaps, everything she'd thought she was, was merely just a misunderstanding. "I remember it was snowing when I met my sister."
Oh.
Those blue eyes were dazed once again, her lips twitching as if she had more to say. Suddenly, Anna felt a pang of pity, realizing that Elsa was too complicated to understand… Too hard to open up.
Anna held her breath together, her fingers tightening around her glass of beer. She was talking about her sister again. Whatever. Anna would listen to any such problems if it meant that it'd make Elsa feel relief. She was this naive, after all.
Elsa didn't glance at her… Longingly staring at her water as if everything from the past had been drowned into that very glass. "She was so small, and it was the first time she'd called my name." She chuckled. "Well, it was more of a little gurgle when she tried to say my name, but… That was her first word."
"You… still remember?"
"Who wouldn't?" Elsa smiled. A genuine smile. Not that nasty smirk she had on a while ago… But it was that smile that left Anna's heart fluttering hopelessly. Anna couldn't help grinning back at her.
"You seem like a great sister." A genuine reply.
Elsa shook her head. "Someone like me… She wouldn't want to see me, the way I am now."
She held the woman's pale hand. "You… may seem a bit of an asshole—"
"Language." Elsa tightened her grasp and let their fingers intertwine. It warmed the redhead, even with how cold those pale fingers were as they embraced tightly together.
"—See what I mean? Anyway… but you seem so caring. To your sister, that is." Elsa didn't say anything, glancing at the hand being held by the redhead. She ran a thumb against her skin.
"You… don't know a lot about me, don't you?" Elsa questioned, and Anna couldn't help finding herself shuddering. Fear or not… perhaps, she was too worried than to bother fearing her.
"I know for a fact you're not very open to people. What makes me so special?" she replied, a hint of frustration buried in her words.
Back with that stoic expression, Elsa observed the woman carefully. Silently. And the redhead let her do just that… Taking her time, enjoying her very presence. The blue eyes that glimmered brightly, stilled… And the fingers she felt on her own skin were running through her hair. The sight of her had left Anna wanting more—to understand what was swimming in her mind.
She wondered what it'd feel like to kiss her again.
"You… Remind me of her…" Elsa replied.
"W-What-" Her voice was gone once she found herself gasping at the sudden push from her back by Elsa's hand. Her cheeks flushed pink, lips trembling for words. Her blue eyes were just there… Close and observant. And Anna was trembling with the fire burning deep inside her chest, growing with every little move of her eyes.
She gazed longingly, holding her breath, as she felt Elsa running her thumb over the span of freckles. "Elsa…"
Slowly, the blonde pushed herself away. There was that gaze again, stoic and showing no emotion. What the hell was that?
"She had freckles," the woman breathed. "Very… light ones, when I saw her."
Anna could help but feel as if… She'd gotten played. As if the woman didn't even see her as a woman…
She wrapped her arms around herself, silently praying to herself. Elsa wouldn't treat her with lies…
Gods, if only they hadn't met.
This wasn't like Anna. Perhaps, seeing Elsa at this moment opened up another door-one that was bigger… That could allow her in. Or she was just too drunk. She did feel a bit too hot.
Elsa ran her finger around the rim of her glass. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this…" Bitter or glad, Anna couldn't figure out. It didn't matter, as long as… As long as everything was going to be alright. At least, for Elsa. And perhaps, as long as Anna could open her up. Just so I could get the answer I want…
"Maybe you just need an ear to listen."
"Maybe you're just easy to talk to," Elsa replied.
Anna pursed her lips together. "Me?"
"You… don't flaunt over me like how others women do."
She raised her eyebrows. Anna wasn't going to deny that… but neither would she admit it either. "Does it really matter?"
She shrugged. "Stubborn, I'd have to say. I like it. I just wish you wouldn't hide it."
The redhead scoffed, glancing over to that playful smile, and the fingers that were running through those golden fringes. "N-No, I'm not... stubborn." Even her own voice trembled through her own denial.
Taking a sip of her water, Anna began to enjoy the long silence that settled between them. This… was the one thing Anna enjoyed for tonight. No regret… no dirt on her hand. She was clean and free.
She let Elsa brush her finger across her cheek, almost startled by the sudden affection. It was comforting … whatever she was feeling… it was blissful. Her heart fluttered with ease, her cheeks glowed with color… and she felt warm inside.
She could keep saying it was the alcohol, but staring into her eyes would've given the same intoxicating effect. She couldn't deny how easily Elsa had sent her flying into wonderland. How… easily she'd opened her up.
She smiled and placed a hand atop the blonde's lap. Elsa let her eyes fall down to said hand. "But… stubborn as in?" Anna began to ask, breaking the comforting peace.
"You'd…" Elsa's lips twitched to a smirk, brushing a finger through her copper hair. "Usually… it would always be the first night…"
Anna was tempted to roll her eyes. Was she being shy? "Of sex. Of course. This is you, we're talking about."
Elsa chortled. "I won't deny that it's true."
"You didn't answer me." She let the woman's fingers tilt her chin up, and her own holding Elsa's.
" Your stubbornness shows your independence and growth. Especially with a job like yours, you need that independence and growth."
"One of the best feature of being Anna." A bit proud of that feature, Anna thought. Out came a slight shudder of pleasure, when she felt a thumb brushing over her lips. And she didn't stop the woman from closing in on her. She craved this… All of her. Elsa was a drug… Something she didn't want to take, but it' always been taunted her, day by day. Nothing would give her so much joy and hatred than seeing her… And to feel her touch burning her very soul. Burning her with desire.
"You'd have to show me your other features next time. I can see you're drunk already," she breathed.
"Is that another one of your splendid features?"
She smiled slightly, eyes focused on her splendid lips. "You'd have to come home with me to see." Kiss me already... Kiss. Me! Anna didn't know what was becoming of her, but… She was becoming a bit too bold. Not that it was a bad thing. She sensed Elsa gazing at her with want, and Anna was so lost into her.
"Perhaps, some other day." A hushed, but a very… very loving answer.
Anna gulped when she felt a cold touch on her skin. She wasn't going to get her hopes up. "Y-You'll take me home, right?"
"I wouldn't leave such a beautiful girl to fend off the night by herself." Beautiful, huh? "Yes, I'll take you home."
"One last drink, though." Quickly she grabbed her beer.
Elsa chuckled and snatched the bottle that Anna was just about to down. "No, I think you've had enough for tonight." She took Anna's hand as she got up and paid the tab. "Let's get you home, baby."
Baby? Anna raised her eyebrows in curiosity, but… She didn't mind being called such. Oh. she knew how deep she was getting in terms of her feelings for Elsa. A confusing bunch of feelings, she'd have to say. Of course… neither did she mind them. "H-Honestly, you're pretty—"
"Anna?"
She stopped. Not because she wanted to, but her feet wouldn't budge… And so did Elsa. The fluttering feeling that she once had immediately crashed down to the bottom pit of her stomach. Everything surrounded her became a blur, and all she could hear was… was that voice. She didn't want to look up from the ground, knowing full well who was calling her name. Why was she here? Anna hadn't seen her in months… But even so, that voice that had been haunting her peaceful nights. Her heart… had once again shattered like glass.
Her body trembled, and she was tempted to let go of Elsa… if only Elsa hadn't been gripping her hand so hard.
"Anna, are you okay? You look drunk. Your face is all red."
Anna clenched her jaw tight, eyebrows furrowed to a fearful glare, tears filling her vision. And she could only hope those tears would stay so she'd never have to see this woman. Ever again.
She held Elsa's hand tight, only prompting a confused, but a cautious gaze from the woman. Reluctantly, she looked up. "Meg."
She could recognize that dark hair anywhere… The way her hips swayed as she neared Anna. She didn't want her touch. She didn't even want to look at her. Anna felt the shame she once had crashing back at her.
"Anna, who's this?" The hands that once sent her spiraling into pleasure and adrenaline was on her shoulder. "Come on, let me take you home." Anna couldn't even look at the worrisome face that Meg had. Everything that they'd been through… All the memories… Anna didn't need it. And she didn't need to see her now.
She… feared the woman's words. She tightened her grip on Elsa, trying to flinch away from her fingers. "D-Don't—" She suddenly felt a strong tug towards her. Her back was met with a soft touch of silk. Cold pair of hands wrapped around her waist from the back, the smooth surface of clothes pressing up against her skin, and a wintergreen scent sending waves of reassurance and protection.
Her heart nearly gave out, as she let out a wet sob. Control yourself.
She didn't have to turn to know who was behind her, holding her ever so protectively. And she could definitely sense the darkened blue eyes watching… daring Meg. Her heart calmed in her arms, suddenly feeling glad she had someone by her side.
Even if it wasn't someone she knew very well.
She suppressed the bitter tears forcing to come out. A big part of her feared what was going to happen next. She wrung her fingers around Elsa's protective arm.
"Don't touch her." Three words. Just three words, cold, quiet, and direct. Anna had never heard such a threatening tone from Elsa. Her wide eyes focused on the pale hand that had a death grip on Meg's.
"Who are you?" Meg's voice. Just as cold and harsh.
Elsa tightened her grip on Anna, as she felt her fingers clenching with more strength on her arm.
"Anna, who is she?"
The redhead whimpered. She swore she felt Elsa's strong arm twitched by the sound of her voice.
"Anna, come with me, let's get you home. My friends will understand."
"Anna will be staying with me." A stronger voice. A voice of protection. A voice of an angel…
Anna was safe in her hands.
"I'll ask again, who are you?"
"You don't need to know." Elsa's grip on her wrist tightened.
Meg snatched her arm back. Her eyes were filled with… Anna didn't even know why she was looking so angry. They were nothing to each other. Nothing but an ex-client and an escort. She dared herself to shut her eyes… dared to look into the past once again. Anna continued to gaze at the ground with blurred, heavy vision.
"Looks like you've gotten yourself a wonderful girlfriend, Anna." Her heart dropped. No, no, no...not like this. "It's so like you, to go for someone like her. You couldn't have enough, huh? I already told you -" Oh no, Elsa.
She flinched when she felt nails pressed on her body for a second. "You—" Anna knew exactly what Elsa was thinking, and immediately wrapped her arms around her waist when she felt the warm body quickly leaving her side.
"Elsa, don't!"
"Let go, Anna."
"No!" The redhead felt a pang of hurt crushing her body, and she couldn't do anything. Nothing, but sob pathetically. She laid her head against the woman's small back. Her heartbeat was so loud… so frantic. Anna couldn't believe this was happening. "S-Stop, can we please go? Elsa?" Pathetic… It really was.
"Let. Go."
"N-No!"
Elsa growled. "Do not make me say it again." She was cold, stern… sending cold shivers down the dancer's back. But Anna only wanted to get away. Her eyes glowed darkly, trying to draw the poor redhead away. It was no use intimidating her. Anna didn't care at all!
The redhead shook her head, taking in the woman's scent… At least, this was calming her. "Please… Just take me home. It's been a long night…" She sniffled. "I-I want to go home."
She gasped when she felt another tug, one that would've sent her falling. Anna held her waist tightly from the back. "S-Stop! It's okay! It's…" She didn't even realize Elsa had stopped, softening her gaze in time to see tears streaming down Anna's cheeks. "It's fine. Just let it go. I'm... I'm tired."
A long pause, and a few deathly glares later, Elsa sighed reluctantly. "Of course." She patted Anna's head. Even without lifting her head up, she knew Elsa had just taken her jacket off and wrap it around her shoulders, her cold hands holding her upright and wiping her tears. "We'll go… Come, Anna."
The dancer meekly nodded, only to feel another hand gripping onto her. "I'll visit you soon… Remember what I've said, Anna," Meg breathed.
She did. What they'd said to each other… had imprinted deeply into Anna's mind. And she wished she'd never heard anything… never to experience such disgusting rejection from someone she once really cared about. Not from someone she thought had loved her.
Meg sighed, turning to Elsa. "It's a pleasure to meet you."
The blonde's stoic expression remained. "The pleasure is mine."
A pleasure… It was.
The ride back home was filled with silence… One that Anna didn't enjoy very much. It was suffocating her as if it'd been choking her from the very start. The air was heavy between the two women, enough to be cut with a knife. There was soft music in the background, she didn't bother listening… nor did she want to feel the cold gaze that Elsa was giving her.
Even Elsa's touch that she longed to feel was left… unwanted.
The night was still cold with the wind gusting through the town, but with Elsa's jacket around her shoulders, Anna felt nothing but warmth. If a cold warmth ever existed… this was it.
Anna folded her arms against her chest, gazing out towards the window to see buildings coming to life with lights in the night sky. It was… numbing.
Anna didn't know what she was feeling, and whatever ache that filled her chest… She didn't want. She'd rather not feel. Neither did she want to face the cold gaze just inches beside her. But Anna couldn't.
She sighed to herself, running a finger to push a wild strand of hair behind her ear. "I know you want to say something." She turned to Elsa reluctantly. "Go on. I suppose I owe you one."
Elsa stopped before a red light but didn't give Anna the pleasure. She breathed out, her hands falling onto her lap. "You don't owe me anything."
"I'm opening up to you for any questions, and you're not going to even ask? I would've thought you'd be slightly interested, with how much you've been looking at me." Now she was getting too harsh. But she didn't seem to regret it.
Elsa laid her fingers through her golden fringes. "I think you've mistaken 'owning' with 'giving', Anna." Blue eyes met with teal, daring one another to speak against each other. Anna pursed her lips together. That warmth was no longer there, the frigid air rough against her warm skin. Even the jacket had lost its warmth. "Was she the reason?"
"What?" Anna blinked.
"You know exactly what I meant." And she did know. The tone Elsa had… the seriousness of her gaze… Elsa wasn't being playful anymore. "Look at me." She felt Elsa's hand grabbing her chin, and her breath hitched. Her chest heaved with every little beating of her heart. She was commanding… Hypnotizing. Something Anna would never get used to seeing. Elsa… had her priorities straight.
"Was she?"
"Yes."
"Is she your ex?" Here come the questions.
Not that Anna had a choice of not answering…
"No." She clenched her fingers into a tight ball. Elsa tilted her head and let her go, as she continued to drive down the empty road. The darkness in her eyes was gone, replaced by… whatever feeling was coiled up inside of her.
"I see."
"You see? What do you see?" And here come my questions.
She tapped her finger on the steering wheel. Still, with these questions rolling in her mind, Elsa was just too hard to read. "You're very naive, Anna." You don't know me. "It was a one-sided relationship." She glanced at the girl, seeing the horrific twitch of her lips. "Am I wrong?"
Anna immediately turned away from the woman. She should've known… She should've been smart enough to know that Elsa… wasn't just a simple businesswoman with a simple mind. She was unreadable, and even Anna couldn't fathom her feelings. Not even her own about Elsa. Nor… about Meg.
Perhaps not even about herself.
"It wasn't." She heard a chuckle.
"I don't like when I'm being lied to." Whatever. "You were so shaken up before." She felt a hand laid on her lap, a cold thumb rubbing her warm skin. Anna flinched. So she did care for her a bit… Anna wasn't going opposed to this kind of gesture. Or rather, she'd much encourage it. Anna turned to see bright blue eyes watching the road. "You almost scared me half to death."
"You were there… to protect me."
Elsa raised her eyebrows. "Am I hearing a 'thank you'?"
The redhead rolled her eyes and pushed her hand away, hearing a soft chuckle rousing from the woman's lips. "Since you're going to be like that, I'd rather not say it directly." Her arms were folded together in a frustrated state. But with that smile beside her, Anna couldn't hold onto that expression for long. Or just watch me hold it that long.
"My apologies."
"Thank you."
Two women, two words. Both very thankful for each other. Stubborn, but nothing could express what they were feeling towards each other than those two simple words. And to be honest… Anna wasn't going to figure out her feelings for her. Not like this, anyway.
"I… didn't think you could get so possessive."
Elsa tilted her head. "Sometimes, protecting someone needs a little bit of possessiveness. Did I hurt you?" She ran her fingers on her arm, finally trailing down to meet her fingers and brought them up to her lips. Anna felt like a princess. "I remembered I grabbed you a bit too hard." Which brought a soft smile running across Anna's cheeks. Okay, so Elsa can be cute.
"No, you didn't."
"I… I'm sorry if I scared you. I've never acted so rashly towards someone before." I'm surprised.
"I'm more thankful than scared, Elsa. Don't worry about it."
"I'm glad. We're here."
With the car stopped by the side, they could finally take a good look at each other. And Anna couldn't deny how distracting her eyes… and her lips were. Just… a little playful moment, it wouldn't hurt... right? She could forget everything… let her body drink into her scent and her touch… Drugged with her whole being. Did she want to experience this feeling again... it was exhilarating.
Because the more of her… The merrier…
Feeling Elsa's hand softly cradling her cheek, she let her arms fall to her side, the jacket slipping off her shoulders. Everything was a blur… And Elsa was the only thing that filled her senses. That made her crave for more. Every take of breath from Elsa, Anna shuddered… Suppressing her eagerness to take her for her own.
Her eyes fluttered shut, letting her hand slide atop of Elsa's. "You're so beautiful…" Elsa breathed. Anna let out a sigh, feeling the woman's lips glossing over the skin of her ear… Sending waves of hot, molten pleasure through her. This couldn't wait… And Anna knew what she wanted most. Who she wanted most.
"Please…"
"In a few days. Have patience, Anna."
And everything stilled, as she felt Elsa's lips on her cheek before pulling away. Her confusion and arousal had blinded her still, as she watched Elsa place her copper hair behind her ear. And that smirk! That infuriating woman was smirking!
Anna wasn't taking this as a joke, and took a deep breath.
"Let's take this nice and slow. As much as I want you…" She wants me…
She trailed a finger down her freckled cheek to meet her lips. And Anna craved to get a taste of her… Just a little taste. Elsa pulled away, blue eyes observing every little speck of her freckles. "There's the appointment where we could fully meet our needs."
Our needs?
"Now, I'd like you to go to bed."
She blinked. "But—"
"Now." Anna shuddered, and without further hesitation, she opened the door. She knew Elsa meant well, anyway. With a small smile, she turned back.
"Have a good night… Miss Arendelle."
Elsa waved, leaning back on her seat. "Be safe, baby."
But at this moment… Anna didn't want to say goodnight to her. She wanted her… She wanted all of her. Her heart was pounding just for Elsa. And all she wanted to say was, "would you spend your night with me…?"