a/n: thank you for sedryn, and issandri/nopantsparade's help! This chapter is spICY *wink wink nudge nudge*
Anna smacked a check on Meg's desk the next month, prompting the professor to look up, then down to the check. She glared at the woman confident and determined… as well as angry that she had allowed Meg to pay her tuition.
For Christ sake, Anna was graduating soon, with a 4.0 GPA as she balanced both schoolwork with actual work. There had been barely enough time for herself. It was hard, but even harder with having to see that… someone else had to clear her debt. Now, it was her turn. This is absurd.
Anna was a hardworking girl—yes, she'd tumble at first, but hard working, nonetheless. It was her determination that would drive her. But she was naive... which could ruin that force.
But she was never the one to take anything, so, now, she decided that this was enough. She wanted to pay Meg back with her hard-earned money. Or rather, she'd do anything to return all that reminded Anna of her.
Meg arched her eyebrows. "What's this?"
"Your money." A straightforward answer. Anna gazed at her without a hint of fear. She slid the paper towards her on the desk. "That's… all I have for now. For this month."
Meg got up, sighing. Anna knew exactly why she was sighing—Meg did not want that money. Of course, Anna knew her professor was wealthy, but… nothing like Elsa.
That woman could buy a whole island if she wanted to. Or so Anna assumed.
Suddenly, Anna felt empty, just staring at her… just listening to her say, "keep it". She wished Elsa were here—wished that she would hold her in her arms. Right now, she was alone, facing her very fear, with courage.
She took a deep breath to calm her nerves. "Professor, to be blunt… I've never wanted you to pay for my college career—I've never asked for this."
"Are you feeling guilty?"
Anna almost laughed. She looked into her eyes. "No. Between us, we're nothing more than professor and student. There's no need to use your money—I can more than handle anything that comes my way, Professor." Is that true?
There was this heavy silence between them. The room was coated with Anna's anger, and just between them… she could freely say whatever she wanted to Meg. She was quite frank about it, but no matter how frank she was, Meg… seemed a bit too stubborn. And Anna just couldn't figure out why. Oh, it couldn't have been because of what happened-how Meg had rejected her like a piece of rag. No!
This was so long ago, and Anna had already given up on her own feelings for Meg. It wasn't good for her, and neither was it good to be hanging out here.
Meg sighed with disappointment. "Anna, take it back." Of course.
Her teal eyes avoided hers. "No, it's yours." I don't want to deal with this. "I'll… I'll just leave now, I have work—"
"What did you tell her?" Her? Anna's hair perked up, sending shivers down her spine. She glared at the calm woman before her, and nothing irritated her more than seeing-hearing her talk about Elsa. What did she even want to know about her anyway?
"What? What are you talking about?"
"Does she know about us?" Meg folded the check escort looked away. "Please, Anna… I know you."
Not enough.
When had anyone ever said that to her besides her mother? No, Meg only thought she knew her… and Anna doubted anyone would know what was in her mind. She paused. Now that she thought about it… Elsa had always been close to finding out what she was hiding in her mind. But she wouldn't pry.
Meg didn't know her story at all. There were so many things going on Anna life, Meg couldn't possibly get her. Couldn't possibly understand how she felt. Of course, she doesn't. She never does. "Anna-" She felt Meg's hand on hers.
"No, please. Just… just don't. There is no 'us', Professor." There was a hint of frustration in her tone. Oh, how she wished there was an 'us' so very long ago. It was too late, and now… Anna had quickly given up and moved on. Or so she thought.
She gazed down at the hand holding her own. Perhaps… a chance, maybe? "How do you feel?" Teal eyes longed for Meg's to look at her all so lovingly. The same way Elsa would every Thursday night. For her to look at Anna with the desire and love that she had always wanted.
Hope did not help. Hope would only lead to lies. Meg gazed her with the same emptiness that Elsa had given her. Her fingers twitched, and Anna looked down. She was hesitant. Anna had already found the answer-one that had been repeated to her several times before by the same woman.
"I feel…"
"You said you wanted to be a friend. Here I am. Now how do you truly feel?"
Meg didn't seem to have a heart to answer her. Those brown eyes glanced away. And even without an answer, Anna could only feel the same way. Emptiness. Loneliness. And the darkness surrounded her whole, taking her soul from any warmth that was provided to her.
What her heart desired, had left her with this void just so she wouldn't get hurt again.
She bit her lips. Anna would love to cry it out, but after so long, she'd ran out of tears for Meg. The escort… was finally too tired out. "Alright," she whispered to herself, slowly letting go of her fingers. Meg still stared at her with pity. Anna didn't need that.
She did what she came here for, and that was that. Nothing more. She shifted her bag over her shoulder. "I'll... see you next week, Professor."
"Anna… I'm not good for you." Gods, the desperation in her voice! Anna couldn't bear it. Her eyebrows furrowed, teal eyes darkening with all the reasons that she should be angry about. How many times had she heard that? Anna just didn't know how to respond. Neither did she want to waste her time yelling at Meg.
Anna gazed at her, appalled. "I… I don't get it… y-you—" She took a deep, shaky breath. "If you think I'd accept that answer because of what happened… because of what I saw with you and that-"
"Don't, Anna."
"-I won't."
Meg sighed. "My feelings don't matter anymore, don't you think?"
Oh. Did she know? Her feelings for Elsa? It was quite obvious.
Anna looked away. "I've moved on. I just… or at least, I thought I did."
"Come on, I took you out for lunch, and you're not even going to eat? I thought you've always had a big appetite."
With her hand against her cheek, Anna gazed at her macaroni and cheese with disgust. It wasn't because it didn't look appetizing. Just... she wasn't really that hungry at the moment. With all the thoughts swirling in her mind, it took her away to a place so dark and lonely. How could she even think about eating? It was It was the least of her worries.
At this rate, Anna could only assume she'd get a disorder with all these days that she was unable to have an appetite.
The day was bright, although clouds still hovered above the sky. The sun hid behind them, and all that was left was its shadow that illuminated the afternoon. The cafe was crowded with people trying to get a bite before going back to work, and chatter filled the air. But Anna couldn't be bothered with any noises as her thoughts blocked everything out. Everyone seemed so energized; it was a bit of an annoyance.
It was the weekend, and Anna just felt so empty and tired. But she made time to be with Martha for a little lunch and shopping. Although it was not much—as Anna had always been busy with studies and work, this was at least something. She had to spend time with her family as well.
Though, sometimes, she'd wish she could do it with Elsa. Her heart denied those wishes. She glanced at the plate of food blankly. It's what I get…
That Thursday night, Anna had never felt so different—so cared for. She was on her way to heaven in total bliss without a second thought. Her heart soared into the sky, and her screams of love could be heard miles away from the hotel. The air was hot… so lustful, and Anna never desired so much of it until now. How she'd wished she was hers.
Elsa had never treated her so tenderly—even if she'd bound her down in bed. Her hands were shackled in handcuffs, and she was unable to move a single limb. She writhed in pleasure and in pain… crying out for Elsa. For her lips, her breath grazing her freckled skin. Her eyes watching her fall apart in her hand like jelly.
Never… did she think she'd go back to this experience. But it was different. A really… really pleasant different.
Elsa was so committed to her role, so gentle, yet so dominant and hungry for love-lust, perhaps-at the same time. Anna would never expected this to feel so heavenly. That night, Anna felt so sexy in bed, being worshiped all around by the blonde.
She'd thought love was definitely in the sky, but this was nothing like love. This was lust.
Elsa was hungry for her… and at that moment, the escort submitted her body and soul to her.
The redhead stared down at her wrists. There was still a little touch that lingered on her skin—the aching from all the tugging from the handcuffs. The image of her wrists imprinted with redness was still in her head.
It'd already been a few days now… and Anna still couldn't stop thinking about it. Neither could she stop thinking about Elsa. Nor Meg. She sighed to herself loudly.
There's so much going on…
"Anna? Anna!"
She blinked. "W-What?"
Her mother sighed. "What's going on, Honey? I asked if you wanted Andrew to come out for dinner tonight, and you just spaced out on me."
Damn it. "Um… yeah…" Sure, Andrew was a sweetheart of a stepfather, but… to her, Andrew was nothing more than someone who'd been her best friend since she was a little baby. And he wasn't her father-as her real one had died long ago. Andrew had cared for her for so long with so much love, she never really got the reason to ask what her real father was like.
"Finish eating, Anna."
Anna frowned at her food. Martha would barely speak about it anyway. "I… I'm not really hungry, mom."
"Are you alright?" The older woman took her hand and squeezed.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm… I'm fine. I don't know, I just don't really have much of an appetite lately." She nervously chuckled. "The food's fine! Er, I'm just not hungry."
"Tell me what's wrong. Please?" Martha's eyebrows furrowed with worry. "I feel like… you've gotten a bit skinnier… Oh my god, are you… are you depressed?!"
"Mom, what?! No! Gods, I…" Oh, wouldn't that be easier to explain? She really didn't know what to say-neither did she want to say anything to Martha. She didn't want the woman to worry her all the time.
It'd been two months since she'd started this job again, and another since she'd started working with Elsa. And with those feelings rapidly developing… those feelings making Anna want more of her, Gods, nothing had gone so smoothly before.
Smoothly, was it? The ride seemed a bit rough.
She ran her fingers through her auburn hair. A blush filled her face, and she wished she had some alcohol to keep her mentality in sight.
"What is wrong, honey?" A worrisome tone.
Anna looked into her eyes. She could keep her mouth shut, but Anna wasn't always a very good keeper of secrets. Oh, the irony. "Well, I… um… I told you about this person-my feelings for them, right?"
Martha nodded.
"I think… Well, you're the only one I can talk to you about this-other than Rapunzel… I think, I really did fall in love."
"I thought it was your friend?"
Anna rolled her eyes. "Well, I didn't know what I'd tell you so… right now, I just really don't have the heart to hold back the truth." How ironic.
"Oh. Well, continue."
"I've met this person during work a few months ago. I know we've talked and…" Fucked. "… stuff, but I just… I know there's something between us—or maybe I'm just imagining it, but I've… actually fallen in love." Wow, was she nervous when she tried to find those perfect words.
Perhaps, this was a better choice to tell her a small truth, rather than what had been happening to Anna behind the curtains.
She was a bubbly and perky child to Martha, and she didn't want to ruin her image and relationship because… because of the dirt that covered her hands.
At least, Martha seemed less concerned now. Anna was never the one to worry her mother. But there was something in Martha's eyes again that made Anna anxious.
"Well, first of all, I don't care who you've fallen in love with, other than they will treat you well. Have they?"
She didn't know how to answer that. Being 'treated well' had always ended up with the two in bed, hands all over each other as if they couldn't get enough… and until they'd call each other's name like it was their last breath.
She took the hot mug of tea to her lips to hide that blush she had. "Yeah." And that was half the truth.
"Good." A pause. "Don't get heartbroken, Anna. Whatever they do… make sure it won't affect you. If it does, I'll be here. Andrew, as well." A heartfelt reply, but Anna still felt this emptiness that the blonde had left her. This was already affecting her—and though, it had not broken her yet… she just looked like it.
"What if…" She put the mug down, two hands holding it for warmth. It was especially cold today. And this silence just revealed all the fear and anguish Anna had for Elsa. "Am I going to fast?" She clenched her fingers tight in nervousness. "I… I've only met them two months ago."
"Love is… strange." Martha gazed down, her eyes filled with nostalgia, and the only smile she had had faded. "There's no telling what love can do. And if they're not right for you, let love be a lesson, Anna. It's never too fast, but be careful, alright—"
Anna didn't know what to say, gazing at her warm beverage without a thought of responding. Whatever love did to her, Anna didn't want it anymore… yet, her heart said otherwise. She hadn't loved anyone until Meg came in… didn't truly feel such rush until Elsa had came into the picture as well.
A part of her wished it was just the lust and desire she had for Elsa. The way Elsa treated her was nothing she'd ever experienced-with such care… with such gentleness. Though, she had these cold blue eyes drilling through her soul, whatever that was inside was hotter than the surface of the sun.
"I—"
"Martha? Is… is that you?"
Anna blinked, and gazed up only to see the horror in her mother's eyes, the paleness that she had in her expression. Never had she seen the way Martha would look at her. Her heart raced with confusion and she turned to the voice that called her name. A tall man with a well-tailored suit, and auburn hair like hers. She quirked her eyebrows up.
"Agdar…?"
She turned to her mother. "Mom, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." An immediate answer. And right now, Anna was just piling up more questions in her mind. And at this state, she doubted she'd get an answer from her mother.
"Mom…?" His voice boomed. "Martha—"
"Anna, can you go back to the car please? If you want me to box everything, I'll do it."
"But—"
"Anna, please." Shivers ran down her back, and Anna immediately got up in silence. Never had she gotten out of there so quickly. It was quite odd. All this time, her mother wasn't staring at her at all and at the man that stood behind them.
She closed the door tight when she got in the car. What's going on…? At this point, whatever was the matter with her mother, didn't seem to matter to Anna anymore. There were too many things going on to actually care.
Her phone was vibrating. Glaring at the screen… apparently, Elsa was calling her. At this time? Not even once had Elsa called her—but texted only for work matter. Running her hand through her hair, she answered the phone. Immediately, she felt hesitant.
"Hello?"
"Anna." Oh. It was her. Why did she sound so tired? Huffing and puffing… what the hell is she doing?
"You're… calling me?" She wrapped her arms around herself. For safety? Maybe. But definitely for warmth. "You're not supposed to call me."
"Yes…" Ignored. "... well, I was hoping I could… drive us around town and have dinner tonight. Am I troubling you?"
She frowned. Seriously? Hanging out outside of work? Anna vowed to never do that again—even vowing to never see them outside of work. That seemed to be easily broken from the very first day that work had started. Oh, it was so natural and… just felt so right, Anna never bothered to question her vow, nor her. It was… quite tempting.
Anna cleared her throat. Her heart would pound so loudly at this moment. "W-What are you doing? You never call me before."
There was silence on the other end, and it suffocated her to no end. "I'm exercising." Ah, exercising control, or just exercising? Either way, Anna felt her heart soaring at both options. "Or rather…" She grunted as a smack sounded from the other end. Jesus Christ, what is she doing?
The escort gazed out the window to see people passing by. Her mother wasn't coming out yet. "Excuse me… Rather, I'm trying to get away from work."
Anna rolled her eyes. "You mean procrastinating?" She almost laughed.
"No, a break."
"You didn't answer me."
"I was thinking about you." Oh. Silence. Anna couldn't say anything, nor did she want to get her hopes up. Yes, she could confirm her own feelings for Elsa but… to Anna, that was forbidden.
"M-Me?" Stuttering!
"Yes." A deep sigh, and a series of heavy breathing followed. Seems like she's done with her 'break'.
"What's so special about me?" Oh, a question she'd been asking for a very long time. And the only answer was because Anna was a newbie-well, after a very long time, at least. Hopefully, she was wrong.
"Are you forgetting what happened a few days ago?"
Oh, how she wished she could forget about it. "No."
"Denying it?"
"Yes."
Elsa chuckled. "I see."
Anna swallowed. It was… a pleasant experience, per se, but this was something she wished would never happen. She wished… with all her heart that Elsa was not that kind of a person to break her heart. Unlike some other woman. She gazed out to the window vacantly. "I… " Her fingers clenched tightly on her phone. The thought of how the woman had treated her so carefully—so fragile that night—filled her mind.
She'd never felt so… desired and loved all her life. And Meg… that was a different story.
Her mother was coming back. She definitely didn't want Martha to hear whatever she was going to say. "L-Look, it's not a good time to talk about this," she said in a rush.
"... I'll meet you in front of your apartment at 8."
"Y-Yeah. Dinner." She hung up without a single goodbye just as her mother jumped in the car. "H-Hey, what's going on? You've been there longer than I thought."
Her mother didn't say anything, and slowly drove through the street. This was unusual of her mother, and seeing how quiet she was… Anna didn't dare to pry anymore. She chewed on her lips nervously as she gazed ahead.
Really. Like mother, like daughter, right? Both with little drama of their own that they both didn't want to reveal. Perhaps, that's the way it should be.
Throughout the drive to wherever her mother was going, Anna leaned her head against the window. Of course, as her only daughter, and Anna's only biological mother, she was curious. "Was… he someone you know? He's quite handsome." The air was already growing thick with all the secrecy. Suddenly, Anna could feel the cold rush trailing down her spine. It wasn't pleasant.
Martha sighed and forced her eyes closed when the red light halted them. "Anna, I can't do this right now."
"What?" She frowned. "You're… hiding something?" A question or a statement? Not that she had the right to ask anyway.
"I'm hiding nothing, honey, alright? He's an old colleague, that's it."
Anna huffed a breath. She didn't believe it. "Well, you looked a bit nervous there."
Martha continued driving. "It was just a bit sudden for me." Wow. A short, quick, and vague answer.
But Anna wasn't going to ask for more. She looked out to the side window, watching everything pass by them. Right now, she was more worried about Elsa and the sudden call.
It was… reasonable, I guess.
Of course, they had to discuss what the hell happened three nights ago. How that all happened in a flash—oh, but it felt so slow!—how she made Anna scream in ecstasy. Her skin felt hot just the thought of doing that again… and Anna felt way too conflicted about this to want this again.
She gulped, switching her gaze to her very own reflection. Anna looked bright… but at the same time, tired and drained from reality. Perhaps, it was no wonder why she didn't give two shits about her mother's frustration. She had her own to be dealt with anyway.
Anna was quite nervous that night as she strode down the stairs. She didn't know what to wear, didn't know what Elsa was up to. After half an hour of figuring out what to wear, she'd stuck to her casual clothes, her hair flowing down her back. It was a change, after all the… nakedness in the club.
Gods, she even canceled spending the night with her parents.
The sky was dark, the air brushing through her skin coldly. It was snowing, the street covered with little white flakes and people trying to get through the evening. She looked up to the evening sky, watching her breath flowing through the air. It was almost spring, but it still seemed like winter had just started. She wondered if the weather would get any colder… but with Elsa, she didn't mind.
She found the blonde in front of her building, her body leaned against her car.
Immediately, her heart stopped, eyes widening, and she was blushing fiercely. Jesus Christ...
The woman was wearing her suit—is she not cold?—fitting her body in all the right ways, her hair flowing lightly with the wind. Her eyes were on her phone, and Anna had gone unnoticed.
Blood rushed through her body without a stop. She gulped, too nervous to even move a single muscle. And why would she be nervous? Anna didn't quite get it, when she'd seen her naked every week. Whether she trembled at the sight of her, or from the cold, it didn't really matter. Perhaps, being nervous was a bit of an understatement.
"E-Elsa."
The woman looked up. "Anna." A small smile crept up as she opened the door. "Ladies first."
Ah, a bit of loosening up, huh? Elsa didn't look the type. Anna mirrored her smile and mouthed a 'thank you' to her before getting in.
For a while, Elsa drove through the street in silence. Anna was too occupied in her thoughts to even bother talking. After all… this week had been the weirdest of them all. She wrung her fingers around her wrist, caressing where those red marks once had been a few nights ago.
She looked out the side window, only to be having her own reflection gaze back at her.
There were much to discuss, and Anna just didn't know how to start. Rather, did she want to start at all? Being the one who'd always start a conversation with Elsa… right now, she just couldn't. She turned to look at the woman.
So beautiful, yet… something about her—and this silence—that made her beauty so ugly. She chewed on her lips timidly.
"I wasn't thinking."
Anna blinked. "W-What?"
Elsa looked at her for a split second. She ran her fingers through her loose fringes. "I didn't stop when I could've." Oh, so she was talking about that. Well, it was needed… and Anna felt way too conflicted to start talking. "Perhaps, I'm still used to my old ways," she said, ever so softly, and there was a hint of hurt behind her words.
Old ways? Of course. Elsa has done this before…
She turned away to her bruised wrists. "A-Actually…" Stuttering. "I… didn't oppose to it."
The woman tilted her head. "Though, you did propose the use of dominant/submissive issues be out of the contract." Right. Anna just couldn't help it with Elsa, after all. She'd do anything with Elsa. Perhaps, she was a bit obsessive, but that was what love could do to her.
Anna's cheeks became rosy. "I-I can always change the policy." When had she become this lenient? This was beyond her.
Elsa shook her head. "I apologize."
"For what?" She paused when she saw those blue eyes telling her 'don't'. Oh, Anna wasn't going to obey her now. Not like this. "I… I enjoyed it. Everything that we did, I enjoyed it." Maybe that would rid of all the negative thoughts Elsa had.
"I could've had a bit of self-control."
"I think you're just being a bit too hard on yourself." Anna was backing down one bit. She was a tough tiger.
Elsa took in a deep breath. "You are making this a bit too easy." Anna didn't really know how to reply.
Coming to a stop in front of a beautiful restaurant, Elsa turned to her. Not a word had to be said, and Anna could already feel the desire that lingered between the two. How she stared at her... those deep ocean blue eyes… so captivating and bright to accommodate with the darkness. Elsa placed her fingers through her auburn hair. Her touch. It was all that she needed.
Anna couldn't say much and took in more than she ever could with Elsa. It was heaven.
"You…" Elsa started, and her voice tempted the escort to lead her to a kiss. A kiss that she desired… and she wouldn't ask anything for return. "What did she do differently that made you change your mind about me? About what I did to you?"
Anna let out a shuddering breath, as her thumb brushed gently on her lips as if she was trying to paint a canvas. "Nothing…" Everything.
She held Elsa's hand, fingers entwining with each other. They looked into each other's eyes with such sincerity, they couldn't doubt each other's words.
And Anna couldn't hold it back anymore, bringing the woman to a kiss. Her face flushed pink, her skin burning fire from her touch. She ran her fingers through those golden fringes, letting Elsa hold her waist and bring them closer together.
She sighed against her lips, her touches… and everything that Elsa claimed her with.
The air was heavy with lust, and nothing felt this good… this exhilarating. Anna couldn't get enough of it.
To her surprise, Elsa was the one who pushed her away. And staring at the woman, her blue eyes were nothing like before. She smiled, but the darkness in her eyes drowned her brightness.
"Perhaps we are going a bit too fast."
Anna didn't quite get what she said. But either way… she knew this had to stop at some point. She grinned tightly, and leaned into the woman's hand. "Y-Yeah." She gazed down. "I…" I love you. "We should go eat."
Elsa tilted her head. "Was there something else you'd like to say?" She shivered at the hand that caressed her cheek, running her fingers on every little speck of freckles.
Anna couldn't say it. Couldn't bear to see how she'd react. In truth… Anna intended to keep this inside until the right time came. And the only thing she feared was rejection. Again and again. "No, it's… it's nothing."
"Come, let's get you home."
"No!" Anna snatched her arm back from Elsa. She already feel the adrenaline rush through her body from the alcohol. She wobbled, holding onto the table. She didn't know how much she drunk while she was with Elsa… but she had fun. A bit too much, to be perfectly honest. "No, I…" She chuckled and laid a hand on her shoulder. "I think I know what you're doing… seducing me… and all that shit."
Elsa arched an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"
The woman grinned. "Y-You… You're so complexing… it makes me want to throw up. M-Making sure you bind me to the bed… s-so that I'd be yours… Am I not?!"
She shook her head. "No, let's get you back home, Anna."
"I want to talk!" she yelled, but she couldn't even get Elsa's attention. Instead, Elsa glared at her. She pouted as she watched the woman pay their meal with her credit card. "Elsa… Elsa, we have to talk…" she whined.
The woman put her arms around Anna's waist and led her to her body. Her teal eyes met up to Elsa's, but she couldn't even see how she looked like with all the blurriness. Oh, how she wished she could see that smile again. They walked out of the restaurant with just a few struggles. "Pleaseeeee… E-Elsa, I need to tell you something… so badly… It hurts so badly…" She cried. "You're hurting me…"
"We can talk when you are better. Get in."
Anna sighed, and did what she was told with a bit of shakiness. She crossed her arms, her eyes moving as Elsa moved to the other side. What could she say anyway? She could either go silent, or speak her mind if she wasn't careful.
The woman let out a sigh, fingers running through her hair. And Anna could sense the exhaustion in her voice… could already see the dark circles that were hidden behind the makeup. For a while, they drove in silence through the cold night. Music was turned on, but Anna was too tired to even go along with it, but not sober enough to start a decent conversation without telling what her heart desired. Oh, she was being quite a burden.
Cause we both wanted to do this but I could tell that you were scared
Cause you thought there was more to us but you knew how this would end
It's gonna end how you expected... girl you're such a masochist, and I ask why
And you reply... I like the thrill
Nothing's gonna make me feel this real...
"You seem a bit like yourself now. You keep staring."
Anna's head was against the glass, eyes on her. "W-Wha…" She wrapped her arms around her body. "I…" She yawned. "I'm sorry…"
Elsa took her jacket off and wrapped it around her front. Anna sighed, loving the feeling of her fingers running through her hair. It relaxed her… and every thought of wanting to talk was out of her mind. "I'll take you back to my home," the woman whispered, her fingers running through her auburn hair. Oh, this was fine… so, so fine... Anna close her eyes for a bit, drowning in the comfort of her hands.
And when they got there, Anna was too intoxicated to even noticed she'd fallen asleep in her arms.
"I don't deserve this… I don't understand… I've given my all to you, and this is what I get in return…"
"Anna…"
"I don't care… I don't care what kind of person you are—who you are flirting with… I know you. And I know you love me too."
"I'm not worth it, Anna. I… I don't have the feelings you have for me."
"STOP IT! You keep saying that… I… what the hell are we doing then? Why are you still here?"
"I've always thought we were friends, Anna. I didn't expect… this."
Anna immediately gasped awake, her heart pounding ever so loudly in the dark. Her eyes widened in fear, but nothing could be seen rather than darkness. She looked around in panic, almost assuming she was in another horrific dream again. Those last words ran through her mind, but she didn't have the mind to actually think about it. She groaned at the aching of her head. "God, I drank too much…" Enough to trigger a dream. She sighed, in total exhaustion and frustration.
It was always like this, and Anna just couldn't get used to it. Meg had haunted her… and there was no way Anna could do anything to get rid of this haunting. Perhaps, Elsa could.
At least, she wasn't in tears now. She looked around, and found herself in an unfamiliar bed, a blanket covering her whole. The room was pitch black, but the only light source was coming from the little space behind that door. There was a closet that sat beside the bed, a glass table sitting just by the corner.
The last thing she remembered was talking to Elsa. She frowned. Perhaps, she took her back to her home. She didn't mind it, she just minded how reckless she was drinking like this. Mom would be worried…
She gazed down as soon as she sat up. "She dressed me…"
Her clothes were replaced with just a flimsy white-collar shirt that was a bit too big for her. Her thighs were exposed to the air, and she flushed. She pressed her bare thighs together. I'm not wearing underwear… But this wasn't anything new. This was just different, that's all. Clearing her throat, she cautiously walked out the room. The marble flooring sent chills down her spine, almost prompting her to squeak.
The living room was the only place that was lit up when she came out. Anna looked around the corner slowly, her body leaned against the hallway wall. She spotted Elsa looking out the glass wall, a hand pressed against the cold surface. The woman almost choked. Neither was the woman wearing much, her shirt hanging loose over her body, and her pale legs were completely for Anna's sight.
She gulped, eyes unable to move away. It's hypnotizing in a way. Oh, she shouldn't be thinking about this now. She just wanted to say thank you-
"Father won't find her, and now neither can you? … Olaf, I have been here for all my life, and I've got everything that I've ever wished for. Except for this… if I'd known I had a sister before, everything would've changed... I—" Oh no.
Seeing those blue eyes turn to her, Anna was more than intimidated… too speechless to even speak.
"Anna." She turned her phone off. Shit, shit, shit.
She couldn't move, watching as Elsa strode up to her. Gods, did Elsa look fine… even if she did look like a mess. She couldn't move, too mesmerized and too hypnotized by those perfect hips—no. No time to think about that!
Elsa was so close to her, cornering her against the wall. Her teal eyes searched hers for any sort of warmth but there were none to give.
Silence.
"You're awake."
Anna looked over the woman's shoulder. "Y-You… You took me to your home…" God damn it.
The woman tilted her head. "Yes." A pause. "Would you like to go back to yours?"
"N-No. I… thank you. For taking care of me."
She smiled. "Are you feeling better?"
"K-Kinda."
And quickly fading. Oh no. "I think… we do need to talk." Anna felt the woman's fingers searching for hers as it trailed down her arm. Chills ran down her spine, and when those fingers met, Anna couldn't help but hold on. Whatever talk they needed to have… shouldn't be too bad. Besides, Anna had been thinking about talking about whatever issues they had.
"Sit."
Anna took a sit on the couch, eyes following Elsa.
It was quiet here, and the only sound being heard was the beating of her own heart. Elsa looked out to the night, her hands in her pockets… and Anna could feel a sudden pang for her. Her heart ached, just seeing the woman like this… her eyes dark and filled with sorrow. But was there a reason? Her body tensed at the thought of what Elsa could say.
Those blue eyes shimmered in the night, her expression was so… numbing. So cold. Anna just wanted to warm her up.
"Elsa…" Anna wanted to go up to her-wanting to hug out whatever that worried her.
The woman gazed at her without a sign of any joy. Anna was afraid and even more than ever with those eyes surveying her whole.
The blonde straightened herself up, a hand pressed on the cool glass of the wall. She gazed down to the streets. "I've always… been the one who would fall out of love."
Anna's eyes widened in horror, and everything that was going on in her chest tightened immensely. No, no, no, no…
Those blue eyes were on her again, and God damn it! She didn't want to look at her-didn't want to feel anything more than this for her. No love! No joy! Just… fear. If it lets me get away from her, at least. Oh, she didn't want to get away! Anna didn't move a single muscle. A part of her had always wanted to stay here-resting in her arms.
"I've never… stuck around much. Tell me…" She leaned her back against the wall, arms crossed around her abdomen. Anna couldn't bear to see how the woman was staring at her. She wanted to run-to run away from the love that she didn't want. To run away from the hurt she'd end up feeling… sooner or later. "What has she done to you?"
Anna bit her lips, gazing at her lap. "She?"
"Meg."
"I…" She could say it—she'd been wanting to say it. It was just between the two of them. Anna had always wanted someone to talk to, someone who would understand her. And all she could think about was Elsa. Her perfect face, hair, body… the way she talked… the way she listened. It was just what Anna loved most about her. "I just… didn't want to stick around. I… I had to pay back what I owed—even though, I didn't take your money."
"You should've." She looked out into the night. "So you were the one who owed her money. Hans didn't say."
Anna nodded. "Remember, I'm not the type to take from others without a reason."
"It's no wonder that is what hurt you the most."
Anna blinked. "W-What?" That couldn't be true. Right?
Elsa let out a small smirk. "Is anything else you'd like to tell me?" She knew… she knew about everything, and yet, Anna still didn't have the guts to tell her how she felt. Perhaps, she just didn't want to start this conversation at all.
"No."
The blonde tilted her head. "Oh?" Slowly, she sat down next to Anna, and the woman wished that she could just crawl back to sleep. To the dream that she didn't want. But at this point, it was very much wanted.
Against her will, her skin crawled in delight and pleasure with Elsa's finger running down her cheek. There she was, sitting still… letting the woman touch her without question. And she felt herself relax into her touch. There was nothing more about her to tell Elsa—after all, the desire still lingered in the air. And Elsa knew it all too well.
She was so close, breathing ever so lightly into her scent… and Elsa was just intoxicating. Anna admired those barely there freckles, her pulped lips taunting her to a kiss. It was growing hot—perhaps another symptom from the alcohol. But Anna couldn't deny how Elsa was watching her like a predator watched its prey.
Slowly and hesitantly, she laid her eyes on Elsa. Those blue eyes were too beautiful… too captivating, and it trapped her into her gaze. It took her breath away, and Anna let her. "Tell me..." Elsa whispered. "Tell me what she was like."
"I-I…" She didn't want to talk about… she didn't want to say how much she'd fucked up. How used she felt. How guilty she was. There were things Anna always wanted to forget, and this was one of them. Reluctant to her heart, she turned away. "She has nothing to do with you."
Elsa pushed back a strand of auburn hair behind her ear. "You are quite stubborn."
Anna shrugged. "Always one of my special traits."
Silence. "Don't make this harder for both of us."
"W-What?"
"Tell me how you feel about me."
Oh.
Anna's heart immediately stopped, her chest feeling tighter than ever, and it clenched tightly to the love she wanted none of. She didn't want to know what she meant by that—though, she had a solid idea. Anna just didn't want to believe it.
This wasn't good. Her eyes were so sincere… yet a hint of darkness and exhaustion filled her pupils. She couldn't answer her, biting her lips, and her eyes could already tell Elsa all that she couldn't say.
Elsa let out a smile. A bit too gentle of a smile from the likes of her. "You've… opened up quite a bit while you were drunk."
God damn it. Damn it!
She hated herself for this—hated that the fact she'd get drunk too easily, and too quickly without any realization. Anna wanted nothing more than to bury herself in a hole.
She tried to turn away only to find Elsa holding her jaw in place. "What made you fall in love with me?"
Anna wanted to weep, wanted to get away from the hell of this nightmare. But this was reality, and she needed to face it. After all, she'd always been told that she was a strong, bold woman. Her eyes darkened, mirroring Elsa's. "You just…" Where should I begin? Should I even begin at all? But the answer to the question lied too deep in her heart. She couldn't find it, neither did she want to find it.
I'm drowning.
She shook her head. "Elsa, please—" She felt the woman's hand on hers. A tight squeeze prompted Anna to keep her gaze.
"Tell me the truth." How strong of a voice she had. It almost scared her how dominant she was. Not much of a surprise to Anna though. "Please."
For months she'd been lying to people-perhaps, she could tell Elsa some truth. Elsa had always been trustworthy, and for some reason, Anna found her comfort in her. She searched for the words she needed to say, and looked straight into her eyes. So blue and bright as if they'd suck the truth out of her.
But her words just fell so easily from her lips, anyway. "I've fallen in love with you."
It was so clear and impossibly slow. And finally, Elsa had let go of her hand.