Thursday.
"Come."
"Crawl… crawl for me, you whore."
"You love it… you love everything that I do."
"I'll make you mine."
Anna gazed unsurely into her cold blue eyes… and was left trembling at words that were filled with nothing but poison, but it was poison that Anna was willing to take. Poison that she lusted for. It was an addiction.
And as much as she hated it, she loved it.
She loved the way her body felt… how quickly her heart pounded every time Elsa touched her, how her skin tingled with every little word that came out of her lips. She wanted more. So greedy for her love and attention. Anna was really a prisoner of it.
Her skin tingled, craving for just a single touch… for her fingers to push and pull her without hesitation. But she waited, sitting on her knees… her hands restricted by metal cuffs. She waited for her next move, stiffly. Her heart burned like fire for her. She was suffocating-drowning into the sound of her voice, the lingering feeling that left her aching for more. The desire to take pleasure and give pleasure itched inside of her. It hurt.
Gods, it hurt so badly, Anna thought she was going to die in an ocean of pleasure and pain. She couldn't differentiate between them-didn't want to. Anna was numb. Her eyes were empty, the tingling want for Elsa left her in a daze.
She wanted her.
No, she hated herself for loving this. Why? Why this? And why now?
She couldn't feel the tears that rained down her rosy cheeks, couldn't even think. Couldn't feel her body tremble. Couldn't feel the dirt that painted her whole. Like she was nothing more than a toy to be played with.
Anna was confused and anxious. Though, nothing was going to extinguish that flame between her legs, except her. Her body ached for release.
That woman was here, sitting in front of her on the bed with her legs crossed, eyes on her, and only on her. And she stared at Anna so coldly… so darkly. She tilted her head, eyeing the redhead like she was an animal to be preyed on. Yes, that was it- that was what she needed. Her attention.All of it.
Anna… was hers.
She felt cold, thin fingers running through her hair. Her body leaned into her precious touch.
Anna didn't dare to gaze at her-didn't dare to disobey… her mistress.
Her glistening eyes stared down at her bare knees, and she could feel Elsa looking at her like a dirty dog, leaving the hair on the back of her neck standing. This was humiliating. But Anna knew she was in good hands-someone who would treat her right. Someone… who would love her unconditionally. At least, that's what she'd wish for.
"Good girl."
Anna felt her heart swell with delight at those two words. She didn't dare smile. She couldn't anyway. What is wrong with me?
"Tell me, who are you to me?"
Who am I to you?
Anna gulped, feeling tears plop down onto her fisted palms. "I am yours…" she whispered. Her voice was hoarse, her mind echoed with silence. "I will always be yours… I am your love, your girlfriend… your pet for tonight."
"Why are you in tears?"
Anna's view blurred, and her head was tilted up as Elsa's fingers held her chin. Her body froze at the sight of such… a dominant presence. It haunted her. She didn't need to see to know Elsa was exercising control over her. She breathed through her lips, kissing the thumb that ran over it. "Because… because I will always be yours."
On Thursdays… I will always be yours.
Her eyes shot open, her breathing shallow as she gasped, though wanting to scream badly. Everything in her dream flashed through so quickly in her mind.
Handcuffs. Kneeling. Elsa. Bed. Tears… What the hell… why am I… I'm dreaming about something so- She couldn't remember. Her fingers rubbed her aching head.
The day was bright, perhaps too bright for Anna's eyes. The silence was calming, soothing her into relaxation once again. And in here… it was warm, the sun shining onto her eyes through the gaps in the curtains. It almost seemed like God was trying to apologize for the dream. A nightmare where it was anything but warm. Ah, but she only wished that dream was just as pleasant.
Anna shut her eyes tightly, coming back into reality. Her arm fell to her throbbing head, wracked by waves of pain that she couldn't stop. All she could think about was… what they had done in this dream. Anna swallowed. "Fuck… what was that…?" Her chest felt heavy, as if all the emotions from last night-everything that had happened in the dream came crashing down into her. Fear. Lust. Regret. Whatever it was… it was there to stay.
Her cheeks flushed brightly at the vague memory of Elsa in her dream, and all she could remember was the way those fingers controlled her. It made her feel… some type of way. Whatever Elsa did to her couldn't be as bad as she felt. But what could Elsa possibly do to her anyway?
She gazed up at the ceiling with a sigh, embracing the quietness and her surroundings for a second.
This wasn't her room.
She was sick that night. Something that Anna rarely experienced. Thinking back, she'd almost fainted if Elsa didn't catch her in time, and after being carried up to the bedroom she'd finally fallen asleep with her help.
This wouldn't have happened if she'd only noticed how stressed she was, rather than thinking about the feelings she had. It exhausted her.
Her head pulsed even more at the thought of everything that had happened. So far… Anna felt nothing but pain ever since last night. And not just pain from her head… it felt as if something had been struggling its way in her heart. The constant throbbing made it seem like someone had just stabbed her there.
Hours had passed since then-since Anna had been woken up by Elsa to eat something small and hot, take medicine… and have her wipe her sweat down her body. That went on throughout the night.
Her memories were too foggy to remember exactly how many times, but it couldn't have been too bad.
Anna blushed, feeling her bare legs crossing under the cover.
Naked. She didn't remember having to take her clothes off for Elsa either. It must've been covered in sweat anyway-
"Elsa…" She turned, only to see the blonde sleeping quietly in a chair. Only a thin blanket covered her body and she was still wearing her clothes from last night. She had let her hair down from her braid, and nothing seemed more beautiful than to see the sunlight illuminating the golden strands running over her shoulder, closed eyes, and her pale cheeks. For the first time Anna really took a good look at her.
Elsa's eyelashes were surprisingly long. The redhead smiled to herself. Beautiful.
And to think Elsa would care this much for Anna until she was this exhausted and still stay… Anna felt her heart race- Oh. Elsa was holding her hand under the cover, though she softened her grip in her slumber. She must be tired. Anna ran her thumb over her skin, turning to look out the window.
It seemed as if it was already way past morning with the sun being this high up. There were people walking around now, a few cars driving by quickly. The sky was colored blue and only a few clouds were decorated above them, the wind blowing ever so softly. The cold breeze slipped through the crack of the balcony window, but in here, it was anything but cold. She suppose it was because of the blanket wrapped around her so tightly. Or it was Elsa.
Either way, she was grateful.
Anna sighed in comfort. I… really don't deserve it.
Slowly, she let herself sit up, trying not to disturb the woman, only to have her eyelids fluttered and finally opened. Their eyes met. A pause graced them for a bit. "... Anna?"
The redhead pouted. She looks cute like this… what a light sleeper. "Hi." A small giggle slipped between her lips. Elsa just looked so confused.
One blink. Two blinks. The blanket dropped to the ground when Elsa let herself up slowly, a hand immediately pressed to her forehead. Now running through her hair.
"Are you okay?" she whispered, her voice hoarse and soft.
Anna felt a bit guilty, nodding as she gazed into her worried eyes.
"Do you feel nauseous? Hot?"
Ah, I wish it would be like this all the time.
The redhead shook her head, taking her hand away from her head and held it tightly. She squeezed it. "I'm fine. Thanks, Elsa. For everything."
The woman took a deep breath and straightened up. Anna could already see how much of a mess she was, but even so, she still looked quite perfect. She felt her fingers tighten in their hold.
"I'm glad. You were… you'd been breathing quite heavily throughout the night. I wanted to bring you to the hospital at one point."
Ouch. "I-I see." Anna looked down. She didn't have the guts to say a real thank you yet. Not after..."Where's Olaf? I want to thank him."
"Olaf came up to take care of you last night… he left a few hours ago." She turned to her phone, eyeing the time. "If you still need some painkillers, I can get them for you. But you must eat."
Anna chewed on her lip. "I'm… I'm not really that hungry." What was this slight change in mood? She changes too quickly. Bipolar? No. For a bit, Anna noticed a furrow of her brows.
"Even so, there's still some soup left for you. I'll warm that up. In the meantime… just rest."
Scratch that. It's a maybe.
"W-Wait." She tugged the woman's hand as she was about to go out. "I know you're worried… I'm fine. But I should… I should probably go right now."
Oddly, she found this atmosphere quite… awkward. Perhaps, it was because of that talk they had. And Gods, they were so open to each other. No wonder Anna felt an aching tug of her heart.
She didn't understand why the woman was gazing at her so sternly, the fingers in her hold suddenly tightening. Her heart nearly stopped at the sight of Elsa bending down to her. Her hand was placed on the headboard next to her head.
What did she want? They'd already said all they needed to last night. And Anna knew where her heart lay. Well, sort of. She felt lost. They held their gaze, and Anna felt as if she was in her chains. Wrists and ankles shackled to Elsa. Again. Something was definitely different. Ah, but after all, she never could really tell what Elsa was thinking anyway.
Anna felt her body twitching for a touch-to wrap her arms around Elsa. Gods, she could even smell her wonderful scent as they came close… and Anna was trying to resist the urge to taste her lips, to feel her breath tickling her skin… to let their fingers hold each other like they desired each other. Oh, and Anna did desire her in many, many ways. And, perhaps, just a little taste wouldn't hurt. I still want her…
The desperation was so clear, but Anna didn't care at this point. She had one goal, and that one goal was just mere inches away from her.
Her heart raced faster than ever, and no words could ever describe how she was feeling… how much she wanted Elsa to look at her this way, forever and always. She bit her lip.
"Elsa…" She reached behind the woman's neck-Elsa grasped her wrist tightly. What?
"I haven't been that great looking after you, have I?" Elsa tilted her head, and nothing left Anna trembling more than ever-though, not from fear, but with anticipation-than the way she was staring at her. Anna searched for an expression in her eyes, but none had shown. She was too good at blocking away her emotions.
Why Elsa was acting like this, she didn't understand. Neither did she oppose… how Elsa had cared for her. But was this what she needed? Her eyes fell to her luscious lips, then back to meeting Elsa's.
"Did you think… I was this weak?" she mumbled, head tilted with curiosity.
Elsa's fingers twitched around her hold. "You were sick. I do not want that happening again." She took a deep breath. "You've overworked yourself."
Anna leaned in closer, and she let her lips breathe out her words. "It's okay. I'm okay. Don't worry about it." Gods, she just wanted to kiss her… to make Elsa hers.
"If need be, I will talk to Westergard." The blonde slowly pulled away. Her gaze softened. "I worry, Anna."
"About me?"
"Yes."
Why? Anna cocked an eyebrow in confusion, and slowly, she let her frustration consume her. She watched Elsa raised her hand and kissed her sunkissed skin, and those eyes gaze back at hers. She trembled at the lingering touch.
Elsa worried but… Anna still didn't understand the relationship they were having. Friends with benefits? Escort and client? Girlfriends? Oh, she wished.
Last night… was nothing like what was happening this morning. Elsa had been raw and open, bright, and especially vulnerable. And she shuts it all out in just a few hours.
No, this wasn't going to happen again-she wasn't going to let it happen ever again when she was so clear with her feelings now. She pursed her lips together, her throat hurting as she tried to restrain those broken words from slipping out.
Elsa meant well… and Elsa had a reason to shut her out. And why? Gods, did she want to believe Olaf. Wanting to believe she had a good reason for it, but nothing seemed to have crossed Anna's mind.
Anna pulled the blanket above her naked chest. Their conversation wasn't done, but perhaps, it just wasn't the time to finish. And in silence, she gazed down. Whether it was shame or fear, Anna didn't care.
"Don't move. I will bring you food."
We can't run away from this. Not from each other. Not like this.
But Anna let her go. Whatever Elsa wanted to do… Anna wasn't going to stop her. She sighed, eyes down to her own hands once Elsa left. The door was shut, and all that was left were her own thoughts.
She curled her knees towards her, arms wrapped around her legs. Maybe… this is perfectly normal. Because if this was love … then perhaps this was Elsa's way of showing it, and Anna would completely understand. She chuckled to herself. "As if I know what love is…"
No. This wasn't right. She shut her eyes, her head sinking below her arms to bask into total darkness.
This wasn't right at all. She desperately needed Elsa's answers. She didn't… want to be treated like a toy-how Meg had treated her. But she knew Elsa was different-or maybe, Anna was just too naive to realize that they really weren't all that different.
How… she tricked herself into believing that Elsa wasn't, at least. This scares me…
Sighing, she managed to get up with a blanket around her body and went downstairs. Anna leaned against the wall, watching Elsa from afar in the kitchen.
What am I doing? I shouldn't even be here in the first place…
Anna gazed down to the ground, her fingers gripping the blanket around her chest.
She noticed Elsa glancing at her, but she didn't stir. Both of them didn't. They both knew what was coming.
"You should get back to bed. I don't want you getting any worse." Elsa reached for a bowl in the top cabinet above the stove.
"Why?" she questioned, her head tilted against the wall. Ah, finally asking a question she'd been meaning to ask.
"Why, what?"
"Why are you so worried about me?"
Elsa paused. Perhaps… she asked the wrong question. Anna chuckled to herself bitterly. "No, I mean… why are you avoiding what we were saying last night-"
"I'm not." A straightforward answer that left Anna swept away from her words. She looked into her blue eyes, and her legs continued to step forward to the blonde. She didn't know why. Wasn't Elsa supposed to be… intimidating?
And with that look she had… Anna was supposed to fear her. Her body was supposed to freeze at the sight of those glaring blue eyes. She continued to walk, until they were both in arms reach.
There was something between them … a longing. Something they both needed more than anything-something they'd never experienced before, and they were both… just too scared to make the first move.
Anna's fingers shook when she reached for Elsa's cheek. Her skin was so soft… so perfect, and Anna wished she could always feel her all the time. Could always hold her.
The heart that was pounding and hurting calmed down. The blanket she held against her body, dropped, but Anna didn't care.
Elsa could look at her all she wanted because there wasn't a thing that she had to hide. Anna had been dirtied from head to toe… and she'd been left exposed for everybody to see. Elsa especially.
The woman's blue eyes didn't falter, her hand coming up to Anna's to hold. No, to pull away. Anna blinked in confusion.
"Don't do this, Anna." Fuck.
"W-What-"
"I know what you think of me. And I won't… I won't be that person to hurt you. But perhaps…" She let go, turning away. "Perhaps, I just might."
"Hurt me? I-" I'm stupid. So, so stupid.
"Sometimes… the way you look at me, reminds me of how you looked at her." Shit.
Anna furrowed her brows, already feeling her chest burning like fire. She took a deep shuddering breath, chuckling bitterly. "Don't… don't say that. You're not like her."
Elsa gazed back at her blankly. "Then who am I to you?"
She didn't know. She really didn't fucking know. The number of times Anna avoided looking at her was unbelievable. "I can ask you the same question." That was the only answer she could give. Anna felt her fingers run through her hair… but even without Elsa answering her, she knew where their answer lied.
Nowhere in their heart… just, somewhere deep inside the darkest pit of their stomach.
Her eyebrows furrowed. Anna couldn't accept this. She just needed an answer, she didn't need to be in a relationship right now. God damn it. "You haven't even told me your answer last night. What was it? Please…" She leaned in, and something about Elsa's pitying expression gave her comfort. It gave her pleasure to know that Elsa… was just as insecure as she was, but in a different way.
And all Anna needed was to hear those three words-to feel Elsa kiss her again as if to pour all her love into Anna. Her eyes were glued to her lips. Say something.
Her arms hugged Elsa's waist tightly, and it didn't matter if she was naked against her. The blonde tilted her head. "Are you really this desperate?" Ah, again.
Oh, but she was. Who wouldn't? Anna just needed to feel this certain rush again. "Yes…"
And then silence. It hurt, and it was as if Anna had been carrying this silence over her shoulders only to weigh her down. But Anna didn't let go-being so determined to get the woman to say something. Anything.
"I…" Elsa whispered, sighing. "What am I going to do with you…?"
Anna shook her head, her hand coming up to the back of Elsa's neck. And she leaned in. Closer… and closer… she breathed out, "Please…" She wasn't sure what else to say.
Anna must've been this desperate that she was acting like madwoman. Elsa brushed the back of her fingers on her rosy cheeks.
The blonde shook her head. "You… are insatiable."
"It's what you do to me, Elsa…"
"And I thought… we would be just friends."
Just friends. "I don't think we could ever be friends after everything that we've done." Anna chuckled, breathing in the woman's scent like it was a love drug. "I don't think… we could ever be 'just' friends."
"Do you really want to hear me say it?" Elsa breathed.
"Yes. Gods, yes…" Anna bit her lip in anticipation and out of impatience. Elsa stared at her, and there was something about her gaze that made her look so helpless. Hopeless.
But Anna needed this. She needed to force those words out.
Her lips moved, but no words could come out. Anna leaned in closer, her arms slowly wrapped around the woman. "Don't worry…" she breathed into her skin, her nose brushing against her neck. Why am I comforting her? "Take your time. But I must hear it."
Her lips quirked into a smile when she noticed Elsa's throat bob with a swallow. "I love you… I love everything that you are… everything that you do." She loves me. She loves me… she…
Anna blinked, slowly pulling away, her eyebrows arching up. Something about it was just-
"I love you." No. Really? That was all she needed to hear to rid of all her worries. Maybe Anna was just… a little bit too paranoid about her own feelings to even realize Elsa did love her all along. Immediately, Anna let her guard down and whatever blocked her from seeing this love was gone.
Smiling like an idiot, she leaned in to kiss her lips, feeling her tantalizing fingers running through her hair, sensing her tense her muscles. Her scent overwhelmed the words she wanted to say, and that was okay. No words were needed to be said anyway.
Her heart beat so quickly… so hard, that Anna thought she was going to stop breathing all together. Is the hell or heaven?
And everything was poured into one little kiss… every lust and desire… everything that made Anna love her. Everything that made Anna feel complete. Pure and clean. Her cheeks were bright with blush, her knees trembling ever so slightly. Never had she been so greedy for her love.
She sighed into her lips, and though, she thought tears would fall down her cheeks, Anna managed not to cry. For the first time.
When they pulled away, Anna felt a wave of relief swimming through her, her chest heaving for a single breath. Gods, it was a kiss she'd never had before, and she wouldn't trade it for anything else. Wouldn't trade her for anyone else. She noticed Elsa smiling. Something so gentle and soft, she didn't think Elsa could smile like that.
Anna just stared… perhaps, still comprehending what the hell just went on. Maybe this was still a dream? She pinched herself. Definitely not.
Her fingers ran through her hair, earning a slight purr from Anna.
"You've gotten your answer. Maybe right now… you should listen to me and get back to bed. You might get me sick."
The redhead bit her lip. Get yourself together. "I… I think I got ahead of myself."
"Of course." Her eyes fell down. "And as much as I love to see you… like this, please, don't catch a cold." The woman smirked, eyebrows raising in amusement.
Oh, how could they joke around like this now? Anna felt the blush rushing down her body, and quickly, she got down to take the blanket around her middle.
"Don't pout, you look beautiful."
Anna rolled her eyes. "I told you I got ahead of myself!" Back to the same old, huh?
Elsa chuckled, a hand falling to squeeze Anna's waist. "You don't need to make any excuses for me. Now go back to bed or do I have to make you go?" Her stoic expression was something Anna knew not to mess with.
Anna huffed. "F-Fine."
Elsa kissed her forehead. "Good." Maybe… they really were going too far ahead of themselves. Just a few nights ago, they didn't want this to happen. At all.
What made us change our mind? Elsa? Anna stared at her, unable to leave like she was told to. For a second, she watched as Elsa poured a bowl of soup for her. And a pause.
"I forgot to tell you, your mother called."
One blink. Two blinks. "W-What?"
"Your mother called last night on your phone." Oh, no, no, no, she heard. Her body froze, eyes widening in fear as she let Elsa's gaze wander at her dreaded expression. She couldn't have known-no, Elsa couldn't have said anything weird right? Her eyes were filled with tears, but none had fallen.
"W-What did you-"
"Yes, I answered the call…" A pause. Shit. "I told her I was your girlfriend."
"What?!" Oh fuck. Anna was just about to faint at the word 'girlfriend'. Whatever they had wasn't girlfriend material, but… perhaps, things would work out. Her body was shaking, but not because she was sick again, but because she just didn't know what to say. Girlfriends? Were they really girlfriends? What a joke!
Elsa's laugh lightened the mood a bit, but Anna did not stir. The blush she had said otherwise. She was completely speechless. She never knew Elsa would be that playful. "W-When did you-"
"She asked if I was before I could say anything else. I couldn't say no. She sounded quite excited." She leaned against the counter, her eyebrow arching with amusement. Elsa crossed her arms loosely around herself. "Though, it's interesting that you talk about me outside of work." She knows!
Anna rolled her eyes, nervously scoffing. "A-And you don't?"
"Well…" She tilted her head. "Not to my parents."
She wanted to curse herself for not even telling her mother the night before that she wouldn't be home. Now look at this. Someone who wasn't her girlfriend… telling her mother she was. Anna could smack herself with her palm right now. And at the moment, she just didn't know what they were.
She sighed, fingers pressing the bridge of her nose. Gods, when did she get this exhausted? "What else did you tell her…?"
Elsa crossed her arms. "I… couldn't tell much, with her asking so many questions about me. I had to hang up very abruptly. I'm also not too good at lying." Bullshit.
Silence. Anna didn't have much to say after all.
This is unbelievable. But whatever; she could talk to her mother after… whatever all this was. But eventually, she had to-knowing that Elsa felt the same way as she did. Maybe. No, Anna still wasn't sure.
Giving one last glare at Elsa who just smirked, she slowly turned and went back to her room. She didn't want to deal with this. She turned back around to see Elsa leaning against the counter, a soft smile painted on her expression
"We are not done talking about this!" She slammed the bedroom door close and finally plopped down on the bed.
Teal eyes stared at the ceiling in peace and silence, her hand pressed against her forehead. What are we becoming to each other…?
"Anna? Anna, are you alright in there?"
The knocking needs to stop. She continued heaving, leaning against the toilet bowl, but nothing seemed to be coming out. At all. So, why was she gagging? Her eyes were brimmed with tears, her muscles tensing with every little gag coming up, and her cheeks were colored bright red. This was wrong… so wrong.
And Kristoff seemed to notice right away once Anna pushed him away as she ran to the bathroom a few minutes ago. This shouldn't be happening…
All that had happened … the scent, the hands that molested her body… the way his lips were pressed against her… the way he told her to 'suck him off', it was fucking disgusting.
But she did. She did it without any hesitation, and blindly. She did it to make herself feel good. It didn't work.
In a room that was colored red, laying naked in bed together, Anna let the man fuck her like a little whore. Use her like a sex toy. Push and pull her like an animal. And it was a man that Hans told her to… 'entertain'. Anna could hardly decline as it was her first six weeks of officially working.
The 'pleasure' she gave left the man satisfied. Maybe too satisfied. He said he'd come back again.
Anna was a natural-doing all the things that the man asked of her-demanded of her, and she did nothing but comply like a good girl.
No, a good little doggie, was what he called her that time. She didn't have the courage to decline… she was afraid. So Anna kept quiet.
After an hour, she collected the money that she had earned that night… after Hans took his share.
In the blink of an eye, she ended up here-in the bathroom, regurgitating nothing but his vile taste. Anna wanted nothing more than to scream and cry, wanted to run away from this hell of a place. She stared at the toilet bowl, breathing heavily, her heart pounding quickly.
By then, she couldn't even hear Kristoff calling for her. "Anna? Anna, open the door, let's talk!"
She didn't want to talk-didn't need to be reminded of what the man had done to her body and mind. Though, Anna knew she needed help… needed someone to make her feel strong again. She gulped down another gag coming up.
Reluctantly, she made her way to said door. Kristoff stood right in front of her when she opened it, a worried expression pressed on his face. "Anna? Are you okay?"
When will this be over? Anna gazed at him for a second, then down to the ground, empty from any emotions. Her hair was down-a mess-and she wrapped her body around with her arms. "Anna...?" She flinched away, whimpering like the dirty dog that she was when Kristoff tried to touch her. No words had come out of the girl's mouth. No words were needed to describe what the hell she was feeling.
Kristoff stared at her pityingly, breathing out a single breath. "I know how you feel. First time around, I was like that too. But eventually, you'll get used to it, and it doesn't seem that way now, but sometimes… you might just learn to enjoy it. I guess, today is just not that kind of day."
Was this supposed to be comforting? She didn't ever want to get used to this. Anna could feel tears streaming down her cheeks, but she wasn't sobbing. She was too numb to. Gods, she never wanted to get used to this.
Kristoff tried again, wrapping his arms around the woman's shoulders. This time, Anna just didn't have the will to push him away. "Come on," he whispered. "Let's get you dressed so that we can have a drink. All night."
a/n: :D idk man. thanks for mpsantiango for betaing!