April 15th, 1912 - 1:10 am
Katherine watched the crowds of people until the lifeboat she and Ned were in was lowered out of sight. He was trying to put on a brave face so that she wouldn't worry, but she wasn't stupid. And she knew that he wasn't either.
They both were very aware that they may never see Melinda or James again. She realized at that moment that she might be losing the last of her family in the world. But she pushed the thought away, refusing to let the grief and panic cloud her thoughts. At least she wasn't completely alone because Ned was here.
She wondered what had happened to Daniel, Henry, and Annie. She felt slightly guilty for not trying to find them. But last she had seen, they were on the top deck and not trapped in steerage like the rest of the lower-class passengers. She hoped they had found their way onto lifeboats, even though she was sure that Daniel and Henry were in the same situation as James and Ned would have been if not for Ned's bribe.
When Daniel had told her that the ship was sinking, she didn't believe him. She had stared at him, dumbfounded. But as his words sunk in, the pieces of the puzzle fit together. The ice life jackets, the lifeboats, the distress rocket…all of those things did not mean a mere drill. Once the shock had worn off, her first thought was Ned. She had to find him. If this ship was going to sink, she wanted to at least be with him. She doubted the crew workers cared about arresting people any more. And with a situation like this, it made all of my other problems seem small – including Ned's mother.
Now that her sister had doomed herself running after James, the only reason she wasn't falling apart right now was that she was leaning on Ned. His strong arms against her cheek almost made her feel better. She was so desperately clinging to that hope of them in the new world, that despair had no room in her thoughts or her heart.
She was suddenly shaken from her thoughts when she heard shrieks and loud cries coming from below their lifeboat. She quickly peered over the side to see that they were being lowered on top of another lifeboat.
Everyone aboard began yelling for their crew workers to stop while some other crew workers were furiously sawing at the ropes of the other lifeboat with knives. She felt completely helpless. She kept looking from side to side, looking for some way to help but couldn't see any. She peered back over the edge of the boat and saw that they were getting dangerously close to the boat below women and children were shrieking and ducking.
Suddenly the crew workers lowering their boat realized what was happening and stopped, giving the other crew workers the chance to cut the other boat loose. When the other boat paddled a safe distance away, their boat began to lower again until they reached the dark, icy waters.
She shivered as if the water below the boat were seeping into her body. She looked back up at the ship, thinking maybe she would see James and Melinda, but they were nowhere to be seen. She convinced herself that that was a good thing, they were probably searching for another lifeboat to board.
As the crew worker of their lifeboat paddled them away from the ship, the sight before them made her gasp out loud and made Ned and Claire cover their mouths with their hands.
The Titanic – the glorious, majestic, unsinkable ship – was sinking. The bow was almost completely submerged below the surface of the waters and most of the portholes in the parts of the ship were underwater. The shrieks and cries of those still on the ship rose together in a single wail that drifted across the waters, wrapped her body in a haunting embrace, and clenched her heart.
She knew that if she lived past this night, that wail would find its way into her nightmares forever. And Melinda and James were still on that ship. Tears formed in her eyes, blurring and merging the lights of the ship.
This couldn't be real. This had to be a nightmare.
Just then, another lifeboat paddled toward their and stopped a few feet away. She looked around at the people in her boat and in the other boat, committing to memory the faces of who were witnessing this tragedy with me. All were women except for a couple of crew workers and few rich men who had paid their way abroad.
She realized that while their boat was a mixture of upper- and lower-class women, the other boat held only upper-class women and men. Many were whimpering and crying, burrowing themselves into their expensive fur coats as if that would shield them from the tragedy before them.
Katherine glanced at Claire and felt so grateful toward her for not sniveling the way the other upper-class women were. "Claire!" a familiar voice suddenly cried out from the other lifeboat.
Claire jumped and looked in the direction of the voice. As if my heart couldn't sink any further – there was Ned's and Claire's mother. Some of the other women looked up in curiosity. "Claire! Oh, thank God! We were so worried about you!" Mrs. Banks cried.
Claire glanced at her and shivered, but didn't respond to Mrs. Banks or her mother. She refused to. She held onto Katherine's hand and smiled at her.
Katherine briefly looked over at Mrs. Banks, which she realized was a mistake. She immediately recognized her. "You!" she yelled. "What are you doing with her, Ned?" she demanded of her son.
"Mrs. Banks," Claire began in a calm voice. "I'm not marrying your son." His mother began sputtering, but Claire continued. "He's not in love with me and I'm not in love with him. He loves Katherine, he risked his life tonight to find her and keep her safe. And I love Daniel."
"How dare you?" Mrs. Banks screeched. "You would break our deal then? You wouldn't mind if I soiled your family name by telling everyone that you slept with a lower-class man. No one will ever want you if they know you are soiled."
So that was how she had manipulated Claire. She was slightly surprised that Daniel and Claire had slept together, but that feeling was overwhelmed by the disgust she felt toward Mrs. Banks.
"Enough!" she cried, surprising Mrs. Banks and herself. "You are so concerned about your precious future, that you didn't even realize your son almost died tonight, the person whom your future depends upon!" She felt her throat constrict as tears welled up in her eyes again. "You are a selfish, horrible woman who only cares about what you want! People are going to die tonight! My own sister might dight. Don't you understand?"
The silence that came as her response was satisfactory enough for her. Whether she had stunned her into silence or made her feel guilty, she wasn't sure, but the cruel woman didn't respond. The only sound that could now be heard was that single wail of those still on the sinking ship.
Katherine held onto Ned tighter, who kissed the top of her head. "Well said," he whispered. "I couldn't have said it better, dear."
James remained rooted to the spot on the deck where he stood, even after the lifeboat carrying everyone he cared for was lowered out of sight. He continued walking back toward the steerage and felt as if time was standing still.
He would never see Melinda again. His beautiful, loving wife. He bit back his tears but willed himself to wait until there was no hope. The chaos around him became a hazy blur, the loud and panicky voices were muffled, the cold air lost its bite.
All he could feel was the emptiness in his chest and the looming grief and panic that threatened to overwhelm him. Another distress rocket being fired into the sky shook him out of his daze.
He glanced back to where the empty part of the deck where the lifeboat was. He saw Melinda running toward him, her skirt swaying as she ran into his arms.
No. No. This was exactly the opposite of what he wanted.
"Melinda? Why?" He cried, holding onto her. He pulled back, searching her face. "Why would you get off that boat?"
"Because I'm not leaving you. I won't live without you," she whispered, looking into his eyes. "And you don't make that choice for me."
"We are not going down with this ship," he whispered, sealing their lips together. "Not if you came after me…"
She smiled, touching his face. "I hope so, my sister needs me."
"I know," he nodded "We should release the lower-class passengers. They're still being contained, locked-up in steerage like animals," he seethed. "They deserve a fighting chance as much as the upper-class."
When they got to the gates there, it was no different than it had been earlier. The lower-class passengers on the other side of the locked gates of the stairwells were still screaming, begging to be let free. The stench of sweat in the air reeked of desperation. The crew workers charged with this disdainful job stood before the gates, stern looks on their faces, and keys on their belts.
Melinda felt bile rise up in her throat from the revulsion she felt toward these crew workers. James didn't waste any time. He immediately stormed up to one of the crew workers and slammed him into a wall. "Let them free!" he demanded.
Melinda had never felt more turned on in the worst situation in her life. She thought the crew worker would give some sort of resistance, but his eyes only widened in fear and he shakily removed his keys from his belt. Melinda took the keys from the other crew workers before they bolted up the stairs.
Whether they were going to tell their superiors what had happened or were running from the mob of angry passengers, but either way, it was a good thing they left. Both James and Melinda rifled through the keys, trying them until they found the correct ones to unlock the gates. As the lower-class passengers flooded out of the stairwells, a few stopped to thank them, shaking their hands and wishing them luck.
They both wished them the same, hoping that they sounded more convincing than he felt. James looked down one of the now empty stairwells where seawater was now creeping up the steps.
His eyes widened as he stared at the icy blue water, white froth on the surface as churned and rushed to swallow the ship. "Won't be much longer now," he muttered, grasping her arm. "We best start looking for a lifeboat."
They both silently agreed and began making their way toward the Grand Staircase when suddenly Melinda thought she heard crying behind her. She stopped in her tracks as James continued walking ahead of her.
If he hadn't heard it, maybe she hadn't really heard anything either. She continued walking when she heard the cry again. "James, stop." She said and spun around to follow the sound.
It led her back to one of the stairwells that led down to steerage. There, sitting on one of the steps alone, without a life jacket, was a little boy. Probably only four or five years old.
Her heart clenched at the sight of his twisted face, glassy eyes, and the tears streaming down his cheeks. Melinda knew she couldn't leave him behind. She tentatively approached him so as not to startle him. As she neared him, he jerked his head in my direction. His gaze locked on hers. He had crystalline blue eyes that shone his tears and shaggy blonde hair. He was shivering. He shrunk away from Melinda as she bent down to be more level with him.
"It's alright," she said calmly. "I'm not going to hurt you. My name is Melinda."
He looked at her for a moment as if he were seeing if he could really trust Melinda. Then he said cautiously, "I'm Matthew." He sounded English.
"Where are your parents, Matthew?" She asked.
"I don't know," he replied miserably.
"Oh," I swallowed. "When did you last see them?"
"Before bed. I think they went for a walk." He thought for a moment and realized his parents must have avoided the containment of the lower-class passengers and been kept from their son.
The sense of dread she began to thought about trying to find the boy's parents in the chaos above was overwhelming. "Alright, well, first of all, I think you need to put this on," Melinda said as she removed her life jacket and placed it on him, adjusting the straps. It was much too large for his small frame, but if either of them ended up in the water, she knew he didn't stand a chance without it. She could swim after all, but he was a child. And she had already accepted her fate. She wanted to be with her husband if they were going to die.
"Now, how about you come with me, Matthew? I'll help you find your parents," she finally said, holding out her hand.
The boy stared at her again before reluctantly taking her hand. She realized that the water had crept further up the steps. It was more than halfway up the stairwell now. She tried to pull him up, but his little legs struggled to carry him up the steep steps and by the time they reached the top of the stairwell she was carrying him.
James was waiting, looking at her sternly. "How did you find him?" He asked.
"I heard him crying. He can't find his parents," she replied slightly defensively.
His resolve soften and he nodded, and then they began making their way toward the Grand Staircase again, the ship groaning and creaking the entire way. The lean of the ship becoming steeper with every step. Matthew clung to Melinda, the cold of his icy fingers seeping into her skin through her shirt. But he wasn't crying anymore. Her heart ached at the thought of his chances of survival. By the time they reached the beautiful staircase, they were trudging through water up to our shins. The water felt like pins and needles pricking her skin.
More seawater began to rush in, as high as their hips. She stifled a gasp at the shock of the cold water. Matthew whimpered close to her ear. James stuck out his hand and Melinda took it, letting him pull her toward the stairwell that led up to the top deck.
She noticed the clock carved on the wall indicated 1:55. Had it only been two hours since they were awoken by the crew workers ordering them to put on their life jackets?
They had just reached near the stairwell when suddenly the glass dome above them shattered and water rushed in, knocking them off their feet. Unable to catch herself since she was holding Matthew, she landed face-first on the hard marble floor. Melinda must have momentarily blacked out because the next thing she knew, James was carrying her out of the onslaught of water. When she opened her eyes, her vision was blurry. She blinked to focus and then felt a dull pain in her forehead and nose. She tentatively reached up and touched her face, feeling something warm.
When she pulled her hand away, there was blood on my fingers. She realized her nose was gushing blood and there was a gash on her forehead. "Come on, Melinda," James urged, pulling her to her feet as they came to the water-free stairwell.
"Wait! Matthew!" She cried, just then realizing that he was no longer with her.
"He's gone, Melinda. I tried to grab him," James held her back as she tried to return to the staircase. "He got washed back down the staircase. It's completely flooded. There's no way you'll find him." As much as she hated to admit it, he was probably right. If the staircase had flooded, who knows where Matthew had gotten swept off to in the rush of water?
Melinda ignored the ache she felt for having lost him when he had just been in her arms and pressed on with James, holding her hand up to her nose to keep the blood from gushing everywhere. She was pretty sure it was broken.
"Are you alright?" He asked looking concerned as she stumbled along.
"Just a little dizzy. I'll be fine," she mumbled back through her hand.
It was nearly impossible to get back to the top deck. It felt as though they had to climb to get there for the steep angle of the ship. The bite of the frigid air was cruel, especially since they were already soaked with the icy seawater. The blood on her face seemed to freeze. But the racing of her heart kept her from shivering. As they climbed the railing, looking for any remaining lifeboats, she noticed those that were already out in the water.
But what drew her attention the most was the field of people in the ship and the boats, swimming and trying to stay afloat in the frigid, black abyss of the ocean. SHe stumbled more than once, still feeling dizzy from hitting her head before, but James didn't leave her behind. He pulled her along until they suddenly came across a small group of trying to launch a collapsible lifeboat. It was much smaller than the other lifeboats, but most people weren't even trying to get on lifeboats anymore.
They were climbing to the part of the ship, the stern, which was now well above the waters. Melinda turned her attention to the group of men still trying to launch the small lifeboat. James was trying to help and just as she was about to, the ship lurched, sinking further and threw them all overboard, along with the collapsible lifeboat.
Melinda gasped as the cold water wrapped her body in its vice-like grip and she sucked in water. She coughed and sputtered, trying to stay afloat and rid her lungs of the water at the same failing miserably. The force of the ocean began to suck her under, as she had given her lifevest to Matthew before everything had happened. She was approaching the point of giving up and just letting the sea swallow her when two strong hands pulled her out of the water and onto something solid that was floating. She retched, the water finally leaving her lungs and allowing her to breathe.
As she drew in deep breaths, never having felt so grateful for oxygen in her life, she realized James was clinging to piece of debris with her. Once she had caught her breath James asked her, "You gave your lifevest to the boy, didn't you?"
She nodded her head, still catching her breath. James looked thoughtful for a moment, then suddenly removed his life jacket, which was no easy task considering they were now in the water. When he handed it out to her, she refused. "No, I can't take that from you. You need it."
"Melinda," he thrust the life jacket toward her again, clearly not taking no for an answer. He helped her put it on so that she wouldn't slip off of the debris, which she was thinking looked like part of a bench from the top deck. Once she had secured the life jacket around her, she turned around to see the Titanic which was now behind her.
Her eyes widened at the sight. The front half of the ship was now so submerged that the back half would have been impossible to climb for the angle. The propellers were now well above the water, and she noticed some of the smokestacks were beginning to sway.
Just then, the cables holding the smoke stack in place snapped and the huge thing plummeted toward the water. She watched in horror as the people in the water below it frantically to swim away but were caught in its wake. While they weren't too close to it, the waters around them shifted and swayed with the aftershock of the collision.
Her eyes remained glued to the Titanic as she watched the rest of the sinking unfold before her. The lights on the ship flickered out, plunging those in and near the ship into darkness. The screams and cries echoing in the night and across the waters seemed to grow louder, horror of the tragedy becoming so much more close and real in the darkness.
Suddenly, there was a loud groan and a crack that pierced the night, overcoming all of the other noises resounding in the zone of the sinking. I watched as the Titanic split in half. The first half now completely lost beneath the waters, plunging toward the ocean floor beneath them. The back half of the ship remained horizontal, parallel with the waters until the place where it had split, gaping like an open wound, also began to fill with water.
In an unbelievably short amount of time, the stern was vertical. Completely straight up and down. If the sight wasn't so horrific, it might have been incredible seeing such a huge ship looming straight up and down above the water like that. But then the back half of the ship began to sink too.
The ocean was greedy. It swallowed the people still on board, the propellers, and then finally, the stern. It was all gone. The was all only evidence of there having ever been a great ship called the Titanic sailing these waters, was the people it left behind.
"We have to… figure out a way to stay out of the water," James stuttered. "Otherwise… we'll freeze."
She nodded slowly, grasping the bench tightly. "But how?" She shivered, keeping herself afloat.
"We need to find more wood. We need to attach it to this and pull ourselves up," he explained, swimming around to the other side of the bench. She saw his head poke out on the other side. "There's some over here. I just… have to reach it."
Melinda kicked her legs to stay afloat as she listened to James as he grabbed wood to connect to the bench. What were they going to attach it with?
James came near her, holding a piece of the broken lifeboat and some rope along with it. "Take this," he sputtered, struggling to swim with both in his hands. She took the rope and secured it around the bench, holding tightly to the wood as she tried to reach out for her husband with her free hand.
"Thank you." He clutched onto the bench, taking a quick breather before he pulled the broke plywood toward them. "Where's the rope?"
"Right here," she shivered. She could barely feel her legs anymore, her strength waning as he took it from her. He quickly tied the two together and double checked the sturdiness.
"It looks good. Don't you think?" He asked, pulling himself up. He sat atop the wood and held his hands out to her. He pulled her up and she laid down the best she could. He laid beside her, trying to warm her.
"Now what to do we do?" She whispered.
"Now we wait," he said softly.