April 15th, 1912 - 3:15 am
As the shock of seeing the ocean swallow the Titanic began to wear off – at least as much as it could since James didn't think it was something he would ever forget – his other senses become heightened.
The raised voices of those in the water were so loud that he wanted to cover his ears. The screams, the crying, the prayers, the pleas for help clenched his heart with an icy fist. The sound of the cries was haunting. The sounds of nightmares. Something that would always stay with you.
He looked at Melinda who was clinging to the wood that he'd secured together. She was pale, her dress and life-vest were plastered to her body, her hair stuck to her forehead, her bottom lip was trembling slightly shivered– and was that ice forming on her eyebrows?
He could tell she was trying to keep her eyes open. To keep them looking at him like he'd told her to. That was when he began to register the cold. He realized his whole body was still tense from the icy water and that his muscles began to ache even as he laid beside Melinda. His lungs felt as if they were being constricted and it was becoming more difficult to stay awake. His breaths came out in labored white puffs between his now chattering teeth.
He slowly turned his head to look out toward the lifeboats floating in the distance. He wondered why they weren't coming back to help those in the water yet. Just the lifeboats he had seen before had so much more room to share.
He squinted as if he could see in the darkness. He wondered, was Katherine in one of the boats he could see now? Would she and Ned look for them or had they given up hope and assumed they were already dead?
His teeth chattered more loudly as he began to shiver violently. "We sh-should try to move," he said in a shaky voice. "Mm-maybe that will w-warm us up."
Melinda nodded and ran her hands up against his arms. She moved as close as she could to him before the wood started to tip from having too much weight on one side. "I-I want to lay with you," she whispered. "I wish I could."
"M-m-me too," he whispered, feeling her hand touch his face. He pressed a slow kiss to the inside of her hand. It was the first time when she'd ever touched him, and she hadn't made him feel warmer.
The energy it took to talk was more than they both had left. The frigid air and damp clothes were slowly draining the warmth from their bodies, stealing their strength and determination. They clung to each other and the bench they had managed to keep together.
"I c-can't feel m-my legs," she mumbled.
He realized he was losing the feeling in his as well. But he did his best to keep moving them, trying to keep his blood flowing so that it wouldn't freeze in his veins. His fingers were becoming increasingly stiff as well.
As they laid together, time seemed to slow. The cries of the people in the waters around them becoming more and more distant. He closed his eyes and laid his head on top of Melinda's, trying to conjure up images of her that kept him warm. Like the first time, he'd seen her laugh that day in the library when he'd told her an on the whim joke. Or watching her smile as they danced on the Titanic, the way her lips melted against his when he kissed her, the heat between their bodies as they made love
He became lost in the images and even though he could feel the warmth seep into his body. His thoughts became a reality as the horrific one surrounding him faded away. He was somewhere in between daydreaming and sleeping when he felt cold fingers tap his cheek lightly.
James groggily opened his eyes, finding it increasingly difficult to do so because of the frost now clinging to his lashes, and saw Melinda staring at him, piercing him with her gaze. "My love, you need to stay awake," she said weakly. Her throat was too frozen to speak louder. "Don't fall asleep."
Too weak to respond, he kept his eyes locked on her face. Her lips had turned blue and frost clung to her eyebrows, lashes, and the ends of her hair. He even had noticed she wasn't shivering anymore and realized he wasn't either.
Their bodies had gone numb. It wouldn't be much longer now… "M-m-Melinda," he struggled to say the only name that had ever given him happiness. "I love you. So much." His words came out short and clipped.
She smiled at him and gathered the rest of her energy to reply, "I-I l-love you too."
Too weak to say anything more, James' eyes were the only part of him that registered he heard her. She saw a look of love pass through them and then resignation as if he could die now knowing that he had told her that loved her one last time.
Her heart clenched. She tried to keep her eyes open and fixed on Jim's eyes, but as time continued to pass, he lost the strength and the will to keep them open.
They both did.
James both knew their bodies would eventually succumb to the cold. They would just be another fatality of the Titanic, lost with all of the other souls who went down with the ship. He became lost in a dream world again, submerging himself in the warm memories of his wife and her kid sister as he laid on top of the salvaged wood in the middle of the Atlantic.
All of the people on and near Katherine and Ned's lifeboat silently watched, mouths gaping, as the stern of the Titanic was swallowed by the sea. The thought of it plunging toward the ocean floor, thousands of feet below them, made Katherine shiver.
Had her sister and James still been on the ship? Or were they now floating in the water the hundreds of other people?
As the screams of the people struggling to swim in the distance drifted over the waters and reached her ears, the panic she had been trying to push back finally overwhelmed her.
What if Melinda was dead? What if James was dead? What if she was now the only person left in her family in this world? What if no other ships found them and they remained in these lifeboats for days, shivering, and slowly withering away to nothing, surrounded by floating corpses?
The irony of that scenario was not lost on her. Those who had managed to get on a lifeboat could meet a disastrous end just as those who hadn't. Their deaths would just be drawn out. She began to debate which death was more preferable when she suddenly felt Ned's hand on her face.
She must have been breathing rapidly because she realized her heart was racing. She slowly lifted her gaze to meet his.
"Are you alright?" He asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.
How could she be?
She looked into his eyes which were so full of fear and sorrow that she nearly broke down and wept, but she maintained her composure and whispered, "Ned…what if they're dead? My sister… and James..."
She saw tears gather in his eyes as he looked out to the mass of floating people. "What if they're not?" he said so quietly she wasn't sure if she had heard him correctly. "What if they're still out there? Alive?" His voice became urgent as he gripped her hand and turned to look at her.
She stared at him for a moment, managing to push back the panic that had momentarily overwhelmed her. "We have to look for them," she said firmly. "If there's even a chance they are alive… if anyone is still alive."
Ned nodded vigorously and then slowly pressed his lips against her cheek. "I promise to try and do something." He carefully stood up on the lifeboat and turned to face the few crew members and others who shared it with them. "We have to look for survivors," He called out. "We have plenty of room. We could save more lives!"
When he got no response except for some whimpering and sniffing, Katherine stood up next to him. She slowly grabbed hold of his hand and saw as he looked over at him. "People are dying out there!" she yelled. "Your husbands, your sons, your brothers! We need to help those we can!"
"They'll swamp us," a woman stated.
Katie realized it was a woman on the other lifeboat – none other than Ned's mother. The rage she felt towards her at that moment nearly caused her to leap to the other lifeboat and strangle her right there. "Your son could still be out there if he hadn't gotten lucky!" She screamed at her. "My family is out there. Don't you even care about anyone out there?!"
"Why would I care about any of them," Ned's mother said bitterly. "You probably won't find your family even if they are still alive out there. The others will just swamp the boat. Why should we risk our lives?"
"What if we could save someone?" He yelled at all the boat surrounding them. "We need to help them!"
Instead of wasting any more time arguing with his selfish mother, he directed his attention to the women of his boat. Most of them wouldn't meet his eyes.
Suddenly the lone male crew worker said quietly, "You're right." She stared at him in disbelief. Would he really go search for survivors? "We have to go back. It's what the Captain would've wanted us to do."
"I will come with and help," Ned said, shaking the man's hand. "I'm Ned."
There was hope knocking on the door of Katherine's heart, but her heart was too afraid to let it in. Before she could say anything, the crew member spoke loudly so the other crew worker of the other lifeboat could hear him, "Row your boat closer to us. We need to get these women to need to get on your lifeboat so we have room for survivors."
The man obeyed wordlessly as the women around them began to talk in hushed whispers. Whether they were afraid, angry, surprised, or all of the above, she couldn't tell, but she didn't care. All she knew was she just wanted to find her sister, alive.
Melinda looked at Ned who met her gaze. She saw hope fighting to come back in his eyes as well. It took much longer than it should have for all of the women to board the other lifeboat, terrified as they were of slipping into the icy water. She was becoming impatient and could hardly sit still. Finally, Ned helped Katherine over into the other lifeboat reluctantly.
"Ned, I want to come with." She said as she placed her foot inside the other lifeboat slowly. "What if you can't recognize them without me?"
"I insist you get into the other lifeboat," he said gently. "I remember what they look like Katherine. Just stay here where it's safe."
She sighed and nodded, squeezing his hand as she moved into the boat. She sat down with a huff and he didn't say anything else as the crew worker began to paddle toward the mass of people.
Ned settled into his seat and drew in a breath. He didn't know if he was ready for this. As they drew closer, he noticed that it had gotten very quiet. Dread clenched his heart.
Were they too late?
"Here," the crew worker said as he tossed a flashlight to Ned.
He quickly flicked it on and shone it on the unmoving people in the water before them, their life jackets kept them afloat. He swallowed back bile as he took in their faces.
Pale faces, blue lips, frost in their hair, some even with eyes open, unseeing.
The people were mostly a mixture of upperclassmen dressed in suits, and lower-class passengers. He saw smaller figures floating in the water and avoided looking at them too closely, knowing they were children. He didn't think his already fragile mental state could handle that.
As the crew member began to row into the midst of the floating corpses and debris, the worker had to paddle carefully to avoid them with the oars.
Ned stood up, shining his flashlight around. He called out, "Melinda! James!" His cry rang out in the night, shattering the eerie silence. "Anyone alive out there?" The only response was the echo that resounded off of the black waters.
But they continued rowing, floating through the corpses. His eyes searched for their faces, but with the frost, it was hard to tell.
The other crew member cried out with Ned as they moved the light over the faces of those around them. He didn't know how much time had passed, but the hope that had been trying to make its way in the heart wasn't even knocking anymore.
They had only found a single passenger that was still alive. The chances of finding Melinda and James, let alone finding them alive, were becoming and slimmer. They might not even be out here. They might have still been on the ship…
"We waited too long," he heard the crew worker mumble gravely.
Ned still mindlessly shone the flashlight about, tears blurring his vision. He focused, breathing in slowly and searched those around him. That's when he saw them, huddled together on a makeshift raft like the one they'd talked about building if they couldn't get onto a lifeboat.
James, that genius might've saved their lives.
He suddenly yelled out, "There!" He blinked back the tears and shone the flashlight in the direction he was pointing. His heart caught in his throat as he realized that the piece of wood they were lying on was covered in frost. Both of their hair, eyebrows, and lashes were coated in ice, their lips were blue, and hands as white as the ice that clung to each other.
"Hurry!" He practically screamed at the crew worker as he rowed his way over to them.
When they were finally close enough to reach the makeshift raft, Ned and the other crew member leaned over the side of the lifeboat to pull them up. Ned grabbed either side of Melinda's life jacket and pulled as hard as he could until she slid into the boat.
He placed his hand over her face, feeling a soft breathing coming from her mouth. She was alive. Barely, but alive. Her head lolled forward as he wrapped two warm blankets around her and the other crew member pulled James into the boat. He laid on the bottom of the lifeboat, unmoving, skin and white as ice.
He moved over to check on James, his fingers brushed his face which was so cold that his fingers seemed to freeze at the contact. He put his ear to James' mouth, listening for breath for several seconds, and then placed his fingers on the side of his neck.
It took him a moment before he was able to feel a faint pulse.
"He's alive," he said in disbelief as he quickly grabbed blankets to wrap them around him.
"Keep looking for more people," he urged.
They each silently nodded and picked up the flashlight that he had carelessly dropped once he had found the people he was looking for.
They were alive.
It wasn't much longer, but they didn't find any other survivors floating in the water. He could tell that the crew workers were both getting tired from rowing and made their way back toward the other.
Finally, after what felt like hours, Melinda and James' breathing became slightly louder. "Wake up," he said to each of them, keeping them wrapped up their blankets. "Please wake up."
Suddenly, he heard what sounded like a ship horn in the distance. "What is that?" he asked the crew worker, seeing he was sitting in the lifeboat, staring straight ahead.
"A ship!" the crew worker cried. "We're saved!"
He sat up a little to see the ship, being careful not to jostle the boat too much. He could see the ship's lights in the distance, a beam of light that pierced the dark terrors of this night. Finally, the hope that had been knocking on his heart earlier.
When the ship finally stopped a short distance away, the crew worker began rowing their lifeboat towards it. Other lifeboats were doing the same, like moths to a flame. Except it was bringing life and saving them all from death. After they had boarded the rescue ship – which he learned was named the Carpathia – some of its crew workers took James and Melinda and the other survivor they'd pulled from the water to the doctor on board.
Ned had wanted to go with, but he knew it would be better to find Katherine first and tell her the good news. He was directed toward a crew member meant to take first-class passenger names, but he went down to the lower deck. He longer wanted to be a part of that society.
"Sir, you most likely will not find anyone you know down here." A crew member said as he came jogging down the stairs.
He counted almost three hundred people surrounded throughout the deck and searched through every face until he found the one he loved.
"Ned!" She gasped, wrapping her arms around him. "Oh, Ned… did you find them?"
He pulled back to smile at her. "I found them," he whispered. "Alive."
"Where are they?" She asked, looking past him.
"They were pretty frozen when we found them. If we hadn't gone when we did…" He trailed off, not wanting to think of what could have happened. "But they're alive. They just haven't woken up yet."
She nodded slowly, squeezing his hands. "Can I see them?" She asked.
Despite the crew's protests, Katherine went to see them. She watched protectively as the doctor's and crew members carefully removed each of their frozen clothes and buried them under several thick wool blankets.
Once they had left, and Katherine was alone with her sister, she laid with her, wishing to wake her up with her head.
Time passed slowly as she watched Melinda, anticipating the moment she would open her eyes. Even though she wasn't opening her eyes yet, she felt immense relief upon seeing that the ice had finally melted from her hair, her lips had returned to their normal color, and her chest had begun to rise and fall steadily as she drew deeper breaths.
James had begun to look better too. He'd even moved his hand when the doctor came to check on them once, bringing a warm rag with him to wipe the blood from Melinda's face and lay on each of their foreheads.
She silently watched as he did this, her eyes never leaving her sister's face. When they had been alone again for some time, the horrors of the night finally began drifting into her thoughts. Things could've gone so much worse. She could've lost both of them.
She began crying quietly, hot salty tears streaming down her face. She wept for Daniel and Henry. She hadn't seen them among the few men who had gotten safe passage on the lifeboats. Annie could be among the many on the steerage deck. She wept for her sister and James, who nearly died. For all of those who had frozen to death, floating in the water, hoping in vain that those in the lifeboats would come back for them. And for those who had remained on the ship as it sank, now buried at the bottom of the ocean.
She wondered if Daniel, Annie, or Henry had survived, but began to accept that they probably hadn't. She wept for them too. She exhausted herself by crying. After her tears had run dry, the warmth of the cabin began beckoning to her, her eyes closed.
She tried to keep her eyes open, wanting to be awake when either James or her sister opened their eyes, but finally, she laid her head down on the bed and quickly fell asleep. She was awoken sometime later when she felt something moving in her hair.
Her eyes shot open as she realized it was Melinda's hand moving through her hair, her eyelashes were fluttering slightly, as if she were trying to open her eyes. As her hand fell from her hand to her hand, her fingers continued twitching in her palm.
"Melinda?" She said quietly, reaching up with her other hand to brush her hair out of her face gently. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and she felt all of her worries leave. "You're awake…"
Katherine could tell the moment Melinda recognized her as her eyes locked on hers, half-open as they were. "Is this a dream?" she croaked out so quietly she barely heard her.
She made a noise that sounded like a sob and a laugh at the same time before she kissed her hand and replied, "No, Mel. This is real. I'm here. I'm alive. You're alive." Tears leaked down her cheeks and she saw worry flicker in his eyes. "I was so scared, Melinda..." She began to cry against her palm. "I thought you were dead."
A look of longing passed her face as she realized she was too weak to move and could barely talk. "Is James…"
"He was with you. Ned made sure to find both of you," she explained and turned around to glance at James, who was still wrapped in wool blankets and sleeping. Melinda nodded. "He hasn't woken up yet, but he's alive." Seeing the relief flood her sister's eyes, she leaned toward her and planted a warm kiss on her forehead.
After Katherine moved away from her side, her sister's eyes glanced around the room. "Where are we?" Melinda whispered.
"On the Carpathia. Another ship," she explained. "They rescued us."
"I don't know if I'm ready for another ship," Melinda replied, quirking the side of her mouth up in a slight smile.
"Me either," she chuckled, sitting down in the chair next to the bed. "But it was better than floating for who knows how long in a lifeboat." She yawned leaning back, happy to see her sister awake.
"Have you slept at all?" Melinda asked, glancing over at James, wishing he had woken up already. She wished to see he was alright. Just to be sure. "Where's Ned?"
"He was here earlier," she shrugged. "I'm not sure. He must've left when I fell asleep. It's been hard to sleep with so much worry for you, sister."
"Well now that I am awake you should go to Ned," Melinda smiled, squeezing her hand. "You have the rest of your life to check on me, okay?"
Katherine was hesitant, but she knew Melinda was right. "Only because you say so," she whispered, smiling at her. "I'll be back in the morning."
Ned was sitting among the steerage passengers when dinner was brought out. It was only an orange and a slice of meat, all the Carpathia could spare for the survivors until they made landfall in two days.
He hadn't seen his mother or any one of the first class for that matter. Claire had disappeared since he'd last seen her with Katherine on the lifeboat before he went out to find James, Melinda and other survivors in the water.
He pulled apart the orange as he looked up to see Katherine walking toward him. That only meant one thing. Melinda had woken up. She would've never left her side before.
He stood up, and she ran to him, meeting him with a warm kiss on the lips. "Well, hello to you too," he grinned, their lips smacking against each other. "How are James and Melinda?"
"My sister is awake," she whispered, beaming with him. "She told me to come to see you…"
"I like your sister," he nodded, chuckling as he shared a piece of orange with her. "And James?"
"He hasn't woken," she said. "Melinda wished to be with him… alone."
"Understandable," he said. "We should go find our room."
"Our room?" She asked.
"Yes," he nodded, tossing the last bit of fruit in his mouth. "I told the crew worker who took my name I would need one for me and my wife."
"Your wife?" She looked up at him, touching his face.
"That's if you'll be my wife," he said softly, shrugging. "I'm not rich anymore."
"I'll marry you, even if you're not rich anymore, Ned Banks." She said as she watched him lean down and quickly claim her lips in a kiss.