"You're mine. Every single part of your body is mine."
"You like that, baby girl?"
"Show me that body of yours…"
"Show me what you can do…"
That was all Anna would hear from anyone - everyone who had touched her. They had stripped her of any dignity and pride she had left. Oh, she remembered those nights clearly - and she wished she could forget.
Nearly every night, she was expected to fulfill someone else's desire, to make them feel good… to pretend that she felt good.
Rather than pleasure, she felt numbingly cold.
Anna couldn't handle it anymore, but she was so far from realizing that she couldn't. She was… in another world, dark and empty. One where she just kept running. Right now, she thought she could do it and make it through. All she ever thought about was keeping Elsa safe. That was it. She didn't need anything else - didn't need Elsa to come talk to her, ever, if it kept them safe.
It had been two weeks since she last saw Elsa. Without even being in contact with her.
But that was alright with Anna, of course. She kept telling herself that.
She was on campus, in class. Her eyes were completely glazed over like she was lost in space - lost in hurt. Anna hadn't taken any notes for her lecture today. She hadn't slept. She couldn't forget about the things she had done - and the things that others had done to her. She needed Elsa but… what good was it to only wish for her when she wasn't here?
Meg was still speaking to the class, and Anna hadn't realized how many times the professor had called on her or stared with worry. Her cousin, usually not paying attention, was starting to be concerned too.
"Anna… Anna… Anna!"
The girl blinked, turning to Rapunzel, who has been shaking her. "W-What…?" she breathed. Ah, Anna was completely oblivious to her surroundings.
The brunette furrowed her brows. "I've been calling you millions of times, are you okay?" She brushed on Anna's hand. The redhead only immediately flinched away from the touch, her breath hitched, and her eyes widening.
"D-Don't -" She brought her hands to her beating chest. Anna couldn't even look at her cousin. It's much easier to just look down… "I-I'm sorry, I just -"
"Hey, hey, hey… calm down, what's going on? You've been so out of it lately." This time Rapunzel was careful not to touch her, eyes gazing at her with intent and worry.
I can't tell her… I can't. I can't tell anyone… Oh, but Anna badly wanted to. In horror, she stared back before dismissing Rapunzel. "It's…" She breathed out, putting her hands down. Anna was completely shaking, and she held her hands together to stop that. "It's fine. It's nothing… I-I can't - I… haven't been getting any sleep, that's all. S-Sorry."
Rapunzel didn't seem too convinced. "Hey, stop saying sorry." She sighed. "Um, class has already ended. Do you… want me to bring you home? I've been wanting to say hi to auntie."
Anna immediately shook her head, smiling with uncertainty. Tiredly. She hoped Rapunzel couldn't see those dark circles of hers. "N-No, it's fine… I'm fine. Don't you have your boyfriend to hang out with?"
Rapunzel got up just after the other students started rushing back out to the campus. She chuckled. "Idiot has a game today so I won't be bothering him. I'll probably come back later tonight to see what he's doing. You're coming right?"
She didn't say anything, prompting Rapunzel to come to a realization.
"Oh right, you have work tonight. Man, is your manager making you go crazy? I thought you didn't have to work Thursdays anymore. Is that why you're not getting sleep?"
Anna turned to the front - only to meet with Meg's stoic expression. Dear God, she didn't want to deal with this any longer. But… who could ever comfort her? Who could ever listen, knowing her secret? Elsa was right, she was desperate.
And perhaps… she was crazy to even think about considering talking to Meg. She never understood her feelings… never understood what Anna was going through. So why?
Anna disregarded that thought and quickly packed her bags. "Y-Yeah, just… not enough sleep. Uh, you should go first, alright?"
"Wait, why -" Anna kept her eyes on the professor. "Anna…" Rapunzel quickly grabbed her arm, pulling her in. The redhead gasped in surprise, and Rapunzel… Gods, Anna had never seen her cousin glare at her like this before. "Are you fucking kidding me, Anna?" She gritted her teeth. Get away… get away from me. Anna gazed at the hand that grasped on her arm. She wanted to pull away so badly - she'd been so dirtied. What the hell was she doing to her baby cousin? Oh… is this… is this a family thing? To dirty one another?
The woman whimpered weakly. "Rapunzel -"
"Listen to me, Anna. Look at me!" she growled. Anna didn't look at her. "I don't know what the hell is going on with you lately or… whatever your mother did to make you look at me like that - because you never fucking do. But I keep seeing you turn to Meg and I… my heart," her expression softened, "my heart aches because I don't know what the fuck you're thinking to look at her like that."
Anna nervously chuckled, trying her very best to pull away. "Turn to her? W-What are you saying? Looking at her like what -"
"Like how you used to. Anna, don't you get it?"
She had… completely given up, staring at her cousin in defeat. In shame. Because she knew she could only look at Meg like that - with love, with care, with everything she wished to have with her professor - when she was desperate. "I-I'm not… I don't…" Anna could just see the horror of her own eyes mirrored in Rapunzel's. I regret it… I regret telling her everything.
"Anna, I can't decide for you, but… I don't want you to be hurt again, understand?" Rapunzel slowly loosened her grip. "Just… let me be there for you for whatever you are feeling. She can't help you." She picked up her bags and turned to the door, "not always."
Slam.
The silence in the room was haunting after Rapunzel left. But the feelings that lingered… the way she felt Meg's eyes caressing her back haunted her even more. There was that stoic face of hers, the way she crossed her arms over her chest… Perhaps Meg was listening. Anna slowly turned to her. Slowly walked up to her. Slowly making sure that she was as sane as she could be.
They came face to face, but Anna could barely hold her gaze at her. Why? Don't I… Don't I hate her?
"Anna… what's going on? You don't seem to be paying attention today… or most of the days you're here." Meg reached out, her fingers pushing strands of auburn hair behind Anna's ear. The escort didn't understand. She didn't push Meg away - didn't scream at her. She just silently searched Meg's expression… searching for the beauty and pride that was in her. Ah, something that Anna had lost long, long ago.
Her beating heart was still, and Anna thought she was safe at the sound of her voice. She didn't understand why she leaned into Meg's touch… leaned into the hand that caressed her cheek - the thumb that brushed below her eye where tears were now falling.
The redhead smiled weakly, looking up at her with hopeful, though broken, eyes. "I…" Can't tell. Can't tell. CAN'T TELL. She clenched her fists together by her sides. "I just want to see you - to see…" I miss you. I miss everything. I miss -
She licked her lips… her own eyes gazing at Meg's. Oh… when was the last time she had felt Meg's touch - to delicately savor their moments together?
It was always fucking… always the lust that kept them in their own lane. And Anna just wanted to be with Meg - wanted to feel desired, to feel loved. Anna missed this. She wanted to feel addicted again to the drug that was their lust. "I… I want -" Oh, quit the act. With a single deep breath, she leaned in, her lips gently pressed on Meg's. Her hands raised up to hold the woman's cheeks. Fuck, she wanted this so badly… she wanted to feel Meg's voice humming against her skin, fingers searching for places to hold -
The professor immediately pushed her away, widened eyes gazing at her in horror. "Anna…?" She pressed the back of her hand to her lips - her dirtied lips.
"Shit -" Anna sighed, laughed, cried - her fingers running and pulling through her hair. Now, she couldn't look at her, turning away immediately. Her heart continued its pounding, head completely spinning. "I-I'm… Oh God, I'm so stupid - I-I'm so fucking sorry, I didn't -"
"Anna, what the hell is going on…?"
"Fuck…" Anna wrapped her arms around her own body tightly, her back facing Meg. She was… shivering so badly. She shouldn't have done this. Shouldn't have even looked at the woman in the eye. Shouldn't have gone this far. Even Meg didn't deserve to touch this dirty thing that Anna was. Nobody did. "Fuck, fuck, fuck…" she mumbled to herself. This is going to destroy me.
She flinched when a hand was placed on her back. "Did she… hurt you?"
Hurt me…? Why would she ever… Anna was blind. She shook her head. "N-No… no, no, no… fuck, I must be going crazy… I-I just... D-Don't touch me - "
"Anna… Anna, look at me," the older woman walked around to look at Anna's face, a finger placed below Anna's chin to get a level view of her petrified, exhausted face. Dear God. Even Meg was speechless. Of course, who would ever look at Anna's crazed eyes? Who would ever care? "Anna… what did they do to you? What the fuck did they do…?"
Does she know? Does she fucking know? Why am I this fucking obvious?
The escort kept shaking her head, her hands grasping Meg's wrists. Her wild eyes were so blurred with tears that she couldn't see the horror in Meg's expression. She whimpered, her nails digging into Meg's skin in an attempt to pull away. "No, no, no, no… you can't… I can't do this anymore. I CAN'T -"
"Anna, please…" She pressed. "What the hell is going on…? Why are you like this? What did Hans do?" Ah, questions, questions, and even more questions. But Anna didn't have the heart to answer any of them. She couldn't. All she could do… was repeat what Hans had said back then in her mind - only to have her heart break every fucking time. And all she needed to mend that back together… was the thought of Elsa being safe. Anna looked down, the tears that she held back for so long, falling down her cheeks. She continued to weep, helplessly. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… please, forgive me… help me, Elsa…"
Anna had completely fallen asleep in Meg's car as she drove through the streets. Why she broke down in front of Meg - why she kissed the woman was completely beyond her. Desperation… yearning… exhaustion? Ah, a combination.
The night was bleak, and nothing had kept her warm other than her sweet, soft voice telling her everything was okay. When Anna had woken up, she didn't face the professor at all. Though Meg seemed to know that silence was the best treatment right now. She continued to stare through her side window, seeing herself reflected in the glass.
Those pale cheeks, drained eyes, and dark circles. Oh, she looked so helpless and pathetic… who would ever want her? Who would ever try to make her feel better? Who would ever find her beautiful anymore? Anna wouldn't - not anymore.
It had taken a lot of convincing from Meg to take Anna back to her home. But even then, Anna couldn't feel the relief she desired so much. It hurt. Everything felt like a stab to her heart.
She gazed emptily at the lights that passed by, the people that walked down the streets so care-free, the people that were searching for pleasure this beautiful night.
It was silent between them for the longest time, but Anna… oh, Anna just couldn't stand it any longer.
Meg was giving her a moment of happiness and relaxation. But the escort didn't feel that way. First of all, she didn't want this. Second of all… she shouldn't be doing this.
"I shouldn't even be here…" Anna breathed, turning her head to watch Meg.
The older woman glanced at her for a brief moment. "You're not going to work today," she started, ignoring Anna's remark.
"Take me to work -"
"No, Anna." Her voice rose, prompting Anna to glare at her.
She growled, "Take me -"
"You don't understand, do you? It's killing you, Anna."
"Who do you think you -"
"I am not taking the chance of you breaking down in front of me like that again. And I sure as hell know that this isn't the first time. Right?" Anna turned away. "Right?" she pressed. Anna felt like a child.
"You don't know me…"
Meg scoffed. "Oh, I know you enough that you can't handle having to work as an escort anymore. I'm not sure what happened between you and her… but I'm going to make sure that you don't get fucked up again."
"Fucked up…" She chuckled bitterly. "Who made me this 'fucked up' in the first place?"
She raised an eyebrow. "Anna… oh, for God's sake, don't tell me you are blaming me for -"
"You're right, I shouldn't. Those are your feelings and these are mine. I'm sorry." She laced her fingers together. She really shouldn't be letting Meg lead her on again.
No, Anna didn't give a shit anymore. Nothing could get any worse than those nights.
Perhaps… she was beyond insane to even consider letting Meg use her again. What am I doing?
"I know what you think of me, Anna. That I… used you. Led you on."
"So you do realize."
Meg sighed, stopping the car in front of a red light. "I'm sorry, alright? I wanted nothing but the best for you."
"And you think leading me on was the best for me." Anna nearly laughed. When had she become so bitter? But Meg stayed silent because… oh, she knew she was right, of course. Guilty as charged, huh?
"Please, Anna… I did wrong. I shouldn't have - I shouldn't have done this to you. Right now, I just want to get you home and make you feel better. Will you, at least, give me that chance?" The green light lit up.
"Why should I give you that chance?"
"Because I want to help you while no one else will… as much as I can, as long as you let me."
Oh, what did Anna even see in her? She couldn't remember. But all she could see in Meg right now… was the beautiful, wonderful sister that had once taken her home because she didn't feel great. The beautiful girlfriend who stayed beside her all night. But it's not her.
Anna closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window. "Fine… one chance. One."
And one was all Anna could ever give.
Anna gazed at Meg in silence, letting her continue to tuck her into bed. She laid on her side, sighing at the scent of the blanket laid over her.
In here… in Meg's bedroom, it was dark… somehow, comforting. She swallowed. This is a view. She had never seen Meg look this at peace - smiling and all.
She didn't understand. After all the things that Anna had said to her, how could Meg still treat her like this? How could she still have the patience to care for Anna? Her heart felt heavy. She broke away her gaze when Meg glanced at her.
They look… so alike. Ah, she remembered that Elsa would do this often whenever Anna didn't feel well. Tucking her in, sleeping beside her, running her fingers through Anna's hair… singing sweet, soft nothings to coo her to sleep. Anna let out a shaky sigh. Don't cry. Don't you dare.
The older woman straightened up. "There you go. Do you need anything else?"
Anna shook her head. She hadn't said much to Meg since they had gotten to her apartment. She didn't eat much either- but that had been going on for a long time now. What she had earlier with Meg was a little something, at least. All she wanted was a hot bath to clean herself and a nice rest. That she got as well.
She noticed how Meg was grinning, her expression so caring and eyes glowing softly in the night. "Alright," she whispered, turning to the door. "Go to sleep, okay? I'll call your mother - "
Anna quickly grabbed Meg's sleeve. "Stay," she mumbled.
"Anna?" Meg eyed her softly.
"Please." She grasped her wrist this time, eyes filled with plea. "I… I don't want to be alone tonight."Not... ever. "Stay with me."
Meg was hesitant. Though, Anna understood why. They never established a great relationship, yet… Anna was so desperate for something. Anything. She just didn't want tonight to be by herself and her thoughts.
Sighing, Meg patted her hand and sat beside her in bed. Her fingers ran through Anna's auburn hair. "Then... I'll wait until you fall asleep."
Oh, she always loved it when Meg would run her fingers through her scalp. Anna couldn't help but grin slightly. Perhaps… this was good for now.
"Do you remember…" Meg chuckled softly. "You always used to fall asleep so quickly every time I do this?"
Anna nodded, her chin tucked under the blanket. "Yeah…"
"I always ended up sleeping right after you. Sometimes, I can't because you were always hugging me."
Anna looked away. "I know…"
"You mumble sometimes too. Very incoherent mumbles but… it's better now." Meg smiled. "I wonder, does Elsa know at all?"
She twitched. "She does." What was this sudden conversation? The last time she remembered them meeting was at that restaurant. Had they become this close? Not that it mattered now. "Are you two… close?"
Meg raised her eyebrows. "Close, no. But I know she cares very much about you. She has feelings for you that I don't, do you understand?"
She looked away.
The woman sighed. "Right, I'm sorry for talking, I'll let you sleep now -"
"I'm sorry." Anna bit her lip. "For… kissing you, before. It was uncalled for." When have I become this soft?
It broke her heart, it made her guilty that Meg only shook her head and smiled in return. "You were not in the right place. It's okay. Now, go sleep, I'll be right here."
Why do I deserve this? Relieved, Anna let her eyes close - ah, something that she could not do for a long time by herself. And with Meg humming beautifully to her, fingers running through her hair, Anna had fallen completely asleep for the first time.
"What the hell did you do to her?"
Hans rolled his chair back around to see Meg standing in his office, her arms crossed, eyebrows arching in anger. Her eyes glowed, but nothing was more intimidating than seeing the fire that was behind them.
"Oh, hey, it's you." Hans lit up a cigarette. "Long time, no see, Meg. What can I do you for?"
The woman clicked her tongue, but for the most part, she remained composed. Sighing, she leaned against the wall, eyeing the man in suspicion. "Don't act so friendly, that's not you. You know why I'm here. I don't have to repeat myself."
Hans chuckled, tapping the cigarette stick against the ashtray. "No, of course not. I didn't think you'd come back so soon."
Meg gritted her teeth. "I don't have time for your childish games. Spit it."
"What I did to her… well, I had her work longer hours and more days."
"Work…" She widened her eyes. "You mean -"
"Oh, smart!" He snapped his fingers. "Exactly what you're thinking. Man, what a professor, eh?"
Meg was trying her very best to not grab him and punch him in the face. Gods, he never changed after all these months. Meg had always thought Hans was a bit too extreme sometimes, but this… this was crossing the line. She was almost glad that mistress of his broke their relationship. That greedy bastard did this to her… fuck this place. "Why? Why do you do this to her…? To everyone here…?" She was completely speechless.
Hans smirked. "You don't understand how I roll, Meg. Let me tell you something, that girl and Elsa… oh, you're not going to believe this." He pulled out his drawer for his phone.
"Believe what?"
"This." One specific recording started to play.
And for the few seconds that had gone by from the recording, Meg was in complete shock. She was frozen in her place… and all she could hear was Anna's voice begging for something else other than being a sister. Hah… sisters? Are you fucking kidding me?
"You…" Meg scoffed. "You're making her suffer because they're sisters?"
Hans clicked his tongue. "No, no, no, not Anna. Making Elsa suffer."
"What difference does it make?! What did Elsa do to you to make you so… so goddamn cold?"
"Cold? That's her. She treated me… well, like an object back then, a sex toy. And then, she threw me away because I was, hm, how do I say it? Ah, too much of a burden. Annoying."
Meg shook her head in shock. "She… was your mistress…?" This wasn't the point. She squinted in exasperation. "That's her sister!"
"So what of it? They're all the same. Just like you said."
This was madness. She immediately stomped towards the man and grabbed his collar. Get that fucking smirk off your face or help me, God! "You… bastard," she breathed into his face. "You son of a bitch, do you even know what she said to me…? She fucking told me that she needed to go to work, and I refused. She broke down. And for what? To protect Elsa?! You'd rather… destroy Anna because of… her?"
"Oh, you think this whole thing has something to do with you?" Hans chuckled, grabbing the woman's wrists and pulled themselves apart. Meg was completely appalled - more from Hans' method of revenge than the truth about them being siblings.
"This whole thing is about Anna, you crazy bastard. You know I care about her." She was completely out of breath.
"Well, what are you going to do, hm? Call those pigs, and I will expose this to the whole world. Tell Elsa, and I will destroy her family and her reputation - Oh, and you wouldn't want Anna to get even worse than she is now right? Not to say she isn't worse now, that is."
Meg squinted. "You think... Elsa Arendelle cares about her own reputation? You're delusional."
"Oh, of course!" He sat back down, feet crossed on the table. "I don't think you know her enough to see how fucked up she can be - Well, both siblings, once the truth is revealed. Not to mention… well, how they will see each other -"
"Enough." Meg shut her eyes. She didn't want to hear more about his disgusting plans. Hans immediately stayed silent. Oh, if only she could just wipe that smug smile off his face. "What… do you want?"
Hans smirked. "To get Elsa's hands dirty. To see her… on her own knees for once."
Meg was in contemplation. She didn't want this at all. Yes, she cared for Anna, she despised Elsa… but they never deserved this. It's either one or the other. And Meg chose. "Fine. Have it your way. You… play so dirty sometimes."
"No, I play smart. Dirty, but smart. And you will not tell anyone about this or else, your precious Anna will get hurt all over again."
Fucking hell. What do I do…? What can I do? She took a deep breath. All she needed… was to protect Anna. To make things easier. "Fine, just… give me Thursdays for Anna. I'll pay. You just want to see Elsa suffer, is that it?"
He raised his eyebrows. "Oh?"
"You wanted this, I'll give it to you. I'll treat your little moneymaker like a bitch."
"Hmm..."
"Just… as long as I make sure that Elsa finds out that I've been with Anna, that'll be enough for you."
Already, Hans seemed convinced. He was a bit too excited, laughing and clapping like that. "Oh, that really is fantastic. I do really want to see how this plays out. Fine, I'll let you have Thursday. I'll let you have all of her."
"You… are so twisted."
"Oh, you should tell that to Elsa - the woman who seduced her little sister for a little fuck."
Meg took a deep breath, eyes distant and cold. She didn't want to hear more. All she wanted was to go back home… and take care of Anna. "After… Elsa finds out everything, after this bullshit, you will not hurt Anna ever again, and she will quit, understand?"
"Oh, yes, ma'am."
a/n: poor bby...