"So tell me Granger," Pansy asked once they were both sitting on the picnic blanket, pizza box between them. "What the fuck were you doing in my class?"

Granger shrugged and her shoulders caught some of the light streaming in between the leaves of the tree above them. Pansy wasn't thinking about how she was still in her sports bra. "I wanted to talk after the other day and then I saw you had this class and decided to come. I've been meaning to take one of your classes anyway."

"Why?" Pansy opened the box and grabbed a slice. "You want to keep fighting?"

"I want to keep learning," she answered, and upon seeing Pansy's skeptical expression she nodded. "Yes fine, and I want to keep fighting. Is that so bad?"

Pansy shook her head. "Not at all. I just wonder why."

Granger was silent for a while, looking at Pansy eat. It was a bit unnerving, but Pansy could see her brain was working on something and she didn't want to disturb her. Besides, it was interesting to see Granger not talking.

"I don't know why."

Pansy finished off her slice and grabbed another, but offered it to Granger. "What's your damage?"

Granger stopped mid-bite and frowned. "Damage?" There was sauce on her lips.

Pansy straightened and cleared her throat. "Yes. Everyone that fights with us on Saturdays has had some sort of traumatic or sad past event. And maybe that's your reason for being there too."

Granger finished swallowing. "That's their reason for being or having been in a women's shelter. Not their reason for wanting to knock each other's teeth out."

"Maybe." Pansy had thought about this before numerous times. She had never asked anyone in their club why they wanted or needed to fight, it wasn't any of her business especially when it came to survivors. But Granger hadn't come to the shelter first, she had only experienced the fighting. She clearly had a place to live, a career, perhaps a job or even a partner. If she had had some bad experiences that could explain why she wanted to keep going there every Saturday night, then perhaps things would make more sense.

Although not entirely.

"I don't know if Ginny told you that I moved back into town recently," Granger said and Pansy nodded. "I was working on my final thesis in London. I was also a teacher and worked part-time in the university library. My whole life revolved around the academic environment including friends and the very few romantic encounters I had time for."

Pansy could just imagine the type of life Granger had there. In her mind it suited her; carrying an umbrella because it is always raining, greeting everyone on campus because she lives there, scolding kids who mistreat books, and wearing big scarves with the university's colors.

"That's why it was so devastating when I was accused of buying my way to academic success."

Pansy stopped eating, shocked. There was no way Granger would do such a thing, who could even think so?

Granger had paled and was looking at the pizza as if it held any answers. "A very renowned professor, Ernest Weddleton, was the one who initially accused me. He broke out the news in the university's newspaper, with evidence even, and by that morning everyone I had ever known since getting there was turning their back on me. Years of studying, researching, working, and socializing were going down the toilet." Granger dropped her half-eaten slice back in the box and laid back on the grass, the sun coloring parts of her face and body like spilled paint. "Even my tutor called me to quit that day. It was likely the worst day of my life."

Pansy didn't lay back with her. She watched Granger remember the worst time of her life and hoped that the tightness in her chest was just basic human empathy. "How did he make up the evidence?"

Granger looked up at her. "Some people have asked me if I really did it when I tell them the story."

Pansy smiled and she felt her whole body relax when she leaned down on her side next to Granger. "No offense, Granger, but you're the biggest, and only, lady-warrior nerd I know. No one can love something like that so much and not be genuine."

Granger snorted and her nose wrinkled. "Yeah well, evidently some people did find me capable. I wouldn't entirely blame them, though, the evidence was pretty well made. He basically controlled the entire Social Studies department. He could do whatever he wanted and no one would question it."

"But why?" Pansy asked., but could already sense it was going to be something really shady.

Granger sighed and brushed some hair away from her own face. Pansy wanted to do that. "He wanted me to go out with him. Asked me a bunch of times." Pansy's stomach turned over. Of fucking course. "He got really mad when I told him I only date girls."

Pansy actually heard herself inhale. Granger's eyes lingered on Pansy's, or maybe it was the other way around, but any way you looked at it this would be the perfect moment. The moment to just lean down all the way and not stop until Granger's lips were all she could feel, her hair all she could smell, the rustle of the grass beneath them all she could hear.

But Pansy found herself stopping and thinking, and of a man no less. "What a fucking disgusting bastard."

Granger nodded, her eyes returning to Pansy's. Where had they gone for a second there?

"Granger, tell me the reason you came back here was because you burned down his house and you're running from the British law enforcement?"

Granger laughed and it was better than the rustle of the grass. "Sadly, no. I denied all accusations and now the matter's been taken to court. I can't work or continue with my thesis until it's resolved. I'm actually supposed to go back there for the trial at the end of the month."

Pansy shouldn't have asked. She should have just kissed her and now she wouldn't have to deal with the knowledge that Granger would leave.

"At least you get another chance to burn his house down."

Granger laughed again, shivering when a rush of wind swept over them. They were in the completely wrong season to be wearing just sport bras, even if it was sunny. Pansy sat up and handed Granger's t-shirt back to her before putting on her own.

"Thanks," Granger said and picked back up her slice of pizza. "So how about you?" She bit into it and got even more sauce on her lips. "What's your damage?"

Pansy shouldn't have been surprised she would have to talk about this.

"I have a very typical damage. Cliché really," Pansy explained in a casual tone. Granger looked interested. "Not a single bad thing has happened to me whatsoever."

Granger choked on the pizza.

Pansy laughed and clapped her on the back. "If you die right now it would be the first traumatic thing I'd ever have to go through."

Granger managed to stop coughing. "Are you kidding?"

"Not at all." Pansy knew everyone who met her probably thought she had gone through a great ordeal. Abuse, violence, perhaps poverty or drug problems, but the truth was that she had been supremely lucky. "I grew up in a wealthy family, my parents love me and I still talk to them every week, I went to a normal school, dropped out of college because I didn't find anything I liked, my rich grandma gave me the house you've been to, and I managed to make money out of helping others. I'm a rich, privileged kid, Granger."

Pansy usually passed it off as a joke, but it didn't mean it wasn't true. She had had a lot of privileges in her life, very little heartbreak or losses, and she was even doing what she loved.. It made it all the more perplexing to her when she tried to come up with a reason for her love of fighting. Maybe she wasn't supposed to enjoy it so much; she didn't get anything out of it other than endorphins and adrenaline; not release, not closure, not revenge or catharsis, she simply adored punching apparently.

Granger nodded wisely, knowingly, as if she had figured something out. "So your damage is that you have no damage."

Pansy shrugged one shoulder. "I don't think that counts. I'm not disturbed because I don't have anything to be disturbed by."

"But still," Granger continued. "You have dedicated your life to people who have suffered all kinds of awful things. You must have all types of horrible and possibly traumatic memories from it."

That couldn't be denied. "Sure, but I haven't actually suffered any of it myself. It can't be compared."

"Of course not. But it's still not easy. By taking care of these people you put yourself in danger. And you can't just shut off your mind from the bad things you have to see and hear every day by saying 'hey, at least it's not happening to me'. It still takes a toll." Granger was staring out into the distance and she looked pretentious and wise, like the beautiful know-it-all she was.

Oh god. Pansy was falling fast.

"I don't know if it's my place to tell." Pansy was always surrounded by people who had more important things to say, and if Pansy didn't protect them, who would? Her experience had showed her no one.

"Perhaps that's exactly why you fight then. If it's not your place to tell, it's your place to show."

Pansy felt it again. The moment. It was stronger now, mixing with the sensation of things settling themselves inside her, getting into their place and making her feel right. Granger's words rang in her ears. She leaned forward.

Granger turned to look at her, but her eyes were fixed somewhere over Pansy's head and for a moment she thought she'd ignore it because perhaps it was even better to catch Granger by surprise.

Granger shot up to her feet in less than a second, alarmed, and Pansy followed out of instinct.

"What's happening?" she asked, looking at the same place Granger was looking, but there was nothing there except more trees and some kids playing frisbee.

Granger's shoulders relaxed. "I don't know. I thought I saw someone… Nevermind. Sorry."

"It's fine." Pansy had seen girls act overly-vigilant after a few of her classes, it was a defense mechanism of course, and even if it wasn't always pretty, it did make you feel safe.

Granger looked at Pansy then and her eyes dropped to her lips. Her heart raced faster than when she thought there was danger.

"Can I shower in your house?" Granger asked still not looking at Pansy's eyes. Pansy was starting to tremble from head to toe. "I need to head to work and it's on the way."

Pansy nodded, her hands itching to reach and pull Granger closer. "Where do you work?"

"The library," Granger said with a small smile.

Pansy sighed. "What a nerd."

She had barely noticed that she had said it out loud because in her mind it was nothing but a compliment.

Granger chuckled and then stepped away, breaking the trance Pansy had found herself in. She picked up her bag and the leftover pizza that they had barely touched. "We'll take this to your place too."

"Yes. Good idea."

Pansy was sure she'd end up eating it in bed alone after Granger showered and left.

.

The next couple of weeks Pansy experimented an unusual amount of peace and tranquility. She hadn't needed to fight any reporters, that girl Linda hadn't posted her article yet, and she was very close to finding a Teenage Help center that could take the two girls. As much as she wanted to keep helping them, they weren't equipped to deal with teens long-term. Ginevra was dealing with the transfer and she had been incredibly helpful ever since she and Pansy talked.

She still couldn't fight on Saturdays, which frustrated her, but at least she got to watch. Watching made her feel like she loved fighting even more than before.

"You can really appreciate the aesthetic beauty of it when you're looking at it from outside," Pansy was saying to Daphne and Millicent as they all watched the current fight unfold.

Daphne nodded, her arms crossed over her chest and her bottom lip swelling from fighting before. "That's a really nice way of saying you want Granger to kick your ass like she's doing to Padma."

Millicent laughed and clapped Pansy on the back. "True."

"What?" Pansy asked with indignation. "I just love fighting, you idiots know that."

"But you can't look at the vague concept of 'fighting' the way you're looking at her," Daphne added. "You want to fight Granger again."

"And you want to let her win," Millicent said in her corniest most mocking voice.

Pansy rolled her eyes. "I'm never talking to either of you again."

They laughed but didn't say anything else. They weren't wrong about Granger kicking Padma's ass; she was really going all out in this particular fight. She had attended a couple more of Pansy's classes and the progress was so remarkable it was almost scary.

The atmosphere in the room was getting dense though, because Padma was refusing to give up even though she looked as tired as Pansy had ever seen her. She was a really good fighter, but perhaps today wasn't her day, and it was obviously frustrating her that a new girl like Granger could beat her up. Pansy could see in her eyes that she was getting angry and every time a fight turned rancorous instead of friendly they had been forced to stop it before things turned ugly. When you're fighting out of pride, you don't listen to your body signals telling you is enough and that's when you can really hurt yourself.

It became clear that Granger had sensed Padma was throwing caution and technique to the wind in favor of hitting her no matter what, so Pansy relaxed a little bit knowing Granger would likely want to put a stop to it before it got out of control. Even if it was about fake 'fight club' rules, the girl was stickler for all of them.

But seconds ticked by and not only was Granger not stopping it, but it almost seemed like she was moving faster, punching harder, her hair slowly coming out of her tight bun and her jaw clenched in rage. Granger was getting sucked into Padma's aggressive fight and she wasn't backing down either. Padma's fist connected with Granger's chin and Pansy could hear her teeth clashing together. Everyone in the circle grimaced and Luna gasped, but Granger didn't seem to have minded so much as she landed a killer uppercut to Padma's lower belly without even flinching. Ever second felt like long minutes with all the damage they did to each other and it was only escalating the more it went on. Pansy had had faith that Granger would realize this was madness, but it seemed as though she didn't want to let go of that first victory that easily.

Worried and indecisive, Pansy managed to tear her eyes away from the fight to look at the other girls and gauge their level of concern, because maybe it wasn't as bad as she was thinking.

But their faces showed that it was worse.

Ginevra was the first to look up and find Pansy's eyes from across the circle and she was clearly asking her what should they do. Pansy took a deep breath and grimaced again when more cracking and pounding sounds reached her ears. She nodded to Ginevra and stepped forward with the clear intention to separate them. This had gone on long enough.

Ginevra followed suit and the first chance they got Pansy took a hold of Granger while Ginevra grabbed Padma and with the help of the others they pulled them apart.

"No one said stop!" Granger complained and tried to release her arms. "We were not done!"

Padma didn't say anything and she actually let herself be taken, shaking her head softly and trying to catch her breath.

"This is not what we do here!" Pansy announced loudly in the sudden heavy silence. "If you can't fucking control yourselves, then don't come down here anymore!"

She was looking at Padma, because she still had Granger in her arms so she knew she was listening. Padma was looking down at the ground and after a few seconds and nodded. "Sorry," she murmured weakly.

It wasn't as if Granger hadn't done anything wrong, but Padma had been there for a long time and she knew how much Pansy hated when people didn't understand what their fights were all about. If you couldn't handle it, you were out.

Granger made a sudden rough movement and pulled herself free from Pansy's grasp, hitting her elbow on Pansy's injured hand in the process. Pansy hissed in pain and cradled her hand while Granger got away, running up the stairs and out of sight.

Pansy cursed under her breath and Daphne placed her hand on her shoulder. "Should I get her?"

Pansy shook her head. "No. She's mine."

Pansy was angry and in pain so she had only meant that she would be the one telling Granger off, nothing else, but still Daphne and Millicent gave her suggestive smirks that only pisse her off further, so she stormed off after Granger before finding out if anyone else had heard.

Granger had clearly gone out the door as her coat wasn't there anymore, so Pansy grabbed hers and followed, slamming the front door behind her.

She saw Granger down the street walking fast and trying to put her hair back in a bun. "Granger!" she called out, feeling her hand throbbing. "Come back here!"

Granger ignored her but Pansy caught up and walked around her, making her stop. "What the fuck?"

"Can't I just go home?" she asked, her voice strained. Pansy realized she had tears in her eyes and all her injuries were becoming more evident, like her split lip and bruised eye.

Pansy annoyingly felt her anger weaken at the sight of her. "Listen, you can't just… Just…"

"What?" Granger snapped. "Not have all of my emotions perfectly under control? Not follow every single rule to the letter? Not meet your expectations of who you think I am?" Pansy stood frozen. "Sorry Parkinson but not everyone down there is the perfect example of what a female warrior should be like."

Pansy almost wanted to laugh. "That's what you think?"

Granger looked at Pansy earnestly. "I think…" she trailed off, seemingly calming down. "I think all this fighting has made made violent."

Pansy felt her heart thud painfully. Those words had been echoing in her mind for years now. Was she a violent person? Was she born like that or had her love for fighting and combat sports turned her into one? It was an uncertainty of character that she hadn't yet been able to shake completely, but she knew she had to swallow it down if she wanted to help Granger.

"Do you think I'm violent?" she asked her, desperately trying to ignore the nervous pangs telling her she'd say yes.

Granger shook her head. "I've never seen you use unjustified or exaggerated force. And all you use it for is so noble anyway. But I had never lost it like I did today, and I'm liking it more and more each time I go."

"Liking it doesn't mean anything. I fucking love it. And momentarily losing control is also not a proper reason. Look at Padma. Look at Ginevra. You don't consider them violent, do you?"

"Well no, but-" Granger was cut off when a white flash blinded them. Pansy instantly knew what this was about.

"Shit," she said blinking rapidly. "Let's go back to the house."

But Granger had already jumped behind the tree which the flash had come from. "Get the fuck out, you creep!"

"Granger what the-"

Granger was dragging the man carrying a camera by his t-shirt with surprising force. "I knew I'd seen you the other day around here. And at the park too. Pansy, this man has been following you for days!"

The man pulled back from Granger's grasp and calmly dusted himself off. "Mind the camera."

"I know," Pansy sighed. "There's always a 'news source', " She airquoted. "or two trying to discredit the organization."

Granger blinked a few times, not understanding completely.

"Excuse me," the man interrupted. "I'm a journalist. And now I've got proof that a violent dyke like you shouldn't be helping any women." He signaled at Granger and her injured face.

Pansy's hearing was suddenly filled with nothing but her own blood rushing rapidly and even though she found herself curling both her hands into fists she felt no pain on her right side. She briefly wondered if the man had heard them before; if his accuracy on pinpointing exactly the subject of her insecurities had to do with his hearing expertise or if it was just a cruel coincidence that no one would be able to explain.

A crashing sound shook her out of her thoughts and it was then she realized her vision had gone blurry with rage, because she hadn't identified the form moving forward as Granger, or the shape advancing rapidly as her fist, or the thing now lying on the ground as the camera.

But it was.

Pansy breathed in, barely aware that she had forgotten to do it for a while, and her eyes started to focus again. Granger was still holding her fist up, her knuckles bleeding as the man stood in utter shock. She had punched the camera out of his hands and into the ground, breaking it in several pieces.

It looked like they all realized what had happened at once, and the first to move was Granger again, stomping her foot down on the biggest remaining piece of the camera and breaking it down further.

The man gaped for a moment, completely taken aback, and then Pansy saw him slowly close his fist and raise his arm while staring furiously at Granger. Pansy immediately seized his wrist and twisted his arm behind his back. "Don't you fucking think about it."

The man struggled before Pansy roughly pushed him away and stood next to Granger, both prepared to continue fighting him if he so wished.

He stared at them for a second, the muscles in his jaw clenching. "You will regret this." he pointed his finger at Granger. "I will take everything from you."

Granger pushed a strand of hair away from her face. "Good luck. They already tried once."

The man narrowed his eyes at them before storming away, leaving his broken camera behind.

Granger turned to face Pansy at once. "I'm so sorry, I-"

Pansy shut her up, because she had nothing to apologize for, because everything was said already, because Granger talked too much, because it was cold and dark, because she looked beautiful under the streetlight, because she had wanted to just kiss her and shut her up for a long time.

Pansy tried to be mindful of Granger's split bottom lip, and her bleeding knuckles, and all other parts of her body which may hurt, so she simply leaned down and cupped her face with her good hand, feeling Granger's surprised intake of breath. She began to pull back after a couple of seconds, thinking the heat in her face would give away how embarrassed she actually felt about doing this without thinking.

But Granger didn't let her, she pulled Pansy closer by her shoulders and flushed her body against her, making Pansy blush like she had never blushed before. Her lips were swollen and Pansy could taste the tiniest hint of blood in them, but it didn't matter at all because Granger was kissing her torturously slow and oh so diligently, learning all the details and secrets of her mouth, as if Pansy's sanity was an exam and Granger was studying all the ways she could make her lose it.

Pansy dug her fingers in Granger's waist, holding her impossibly close, shielding them both from the cold and from the daunting thought that this might have never happened; because Pansy was constantly trying to ruin her own happiness considering the what ifs. What if Ginevra hadn't invited her? What if Pansy had said no? What if they had never fought on the first night? What if they hadn't eaten pizza by the park? What if Granger hadn't broken the camera? What if she had never left England?

She hated thinking that one of the most wonderful moments of her life might have never happened, but she hated herself more for not enjoying it while it was still going on.

Granger bit Pansy's lip and Pansy whimpered pathetically, but latched on harder with both arms around her as if she was keeping her from slipping her grasp. Granger slipped her cold hands inside the neck of Pansy's coat and warmed up her hands on Pansy's concealed skin, making her shiver. It was the most intimate kiss Pansy had ever had, nevermind that they were in the middle of the street just a block away from her house.

And with each passing second it felt more intimate, more personal, and harder to let go. Pansy's infuriating inner voice began to act up again, and it reminded her that Granger was only here temporarily and she'd go back to England sooner rather than later. The stronger she held on now, the harder it'll be after.

So Pansy slowed down the kiss, trying not to get lost again in Granger's maddening intensity, and she pulled away slightly, still clutching to Granger's body like a vice, but their mouths with some distance between them.

"Is everything…" Granger whispered, her voice losing strength with each syllable.

Pansy nodded softly and felt a rush of emotions that suddenly threatened to choke her. "I just don't want you to leave."

She was mortified, she never would have admitted such a thing in regular circumstances, but it was as if Granger's kisses were laced with some sort of truth-telling potion.

For a second it seemed Granger hadn't understood, is not like she looked like she was planning to be anywhere else right then, and then Pansy could see she realized what Pansy meant. And she smiled.

"Don't you remember I'm now addicted to violence?" the word rolled off her tongue just as she leaned in again and brushed her lips against Pansy's and it shook her to the core. "I need to come back for more."

Pansy's heart soared as she chuckled and for once she wasn't embarrassed about being vulnerable. "You're such a sap, Granger."

Granger sighed and Pansy could feel her breath. "Call me Hermione, Pansy."

Pansy had a deja vu, but she couldn't quite place it, so she merely closed her eyes.

"Kiss me, Hermione."