Aunt Andromeda,
I hope you're feeling better today, or starting to. I can't imagine the time you're having in the hospital. Harry and I are settling in for the night, here at Grimmauld Place. He went shopping for Teddy while I stayed at home with him. Teddy slept the entire time Harry was gone, like an angel.
I'm afraid Harry has gone completely baby-crazy, however. When he returned from the store it looked as though he'd spent half his Gringotts vault on baby things. It'll probably all be needed, but imagine my surprise when he came back with almost two dozen bags.
Teddy won't want for anything while we have him. Harry transfigured a crib for Teddy to sleep in, which is sturdy and probably more comfortable than both mine and Harry's beds combined. He's sleeping in it now, and looks to be fine as far as I can tell.
Harry and I are nervous. We're glad you asked us to care for Teddy in your stead, but neither of us are sure how to act as parents. Not that we're taking over for you, either, but… You understand. We have Molly Weasley to help us if we need someone, but I hoped that you could offer tips specific to Teddy's routine and preferences.
Hoping this letter finds you well,
Draco M.
Andromeda felt tears falling silently down her face as she gripped her copy of the letter. She requested that they duplicate all of the letters sent to her during her stay so that she could still keep the original copies once she was healthy. No one was able to come in or out of her room, and anything that was given to her appeared in the room on its own. It was complete and total isolation, and though Draco's voice was not heard telling her these things it still felt incredibly personal. She could imagine the inflection in his voice as he explained Harry's large purchase of baby things for Teddy. She could imagine Harry's face tinting pink at Draco's accusation that he'd bought to much. It didn't need to be written in the letter, her overactive mind supplied the mental pictures for her.
"Do you need anything?" Healer Julian's voice echoed through her room. "Are you in any pain?"
"I'm fine," she said, wiping her tears from her swollen face. "Thank you."
"You need only tell us if you are in pain, Mrs. Tonks. We're here, should you need us. Even for company." Andromeda smiled and nodded, though the feeling behind her grin wasn't there.
No matter how long it took, or how hard it was, she swore to herself that she wouldn't let this be the death of her. Spattergroit or no, Andromeda was choosing life.
"Would you like to send a reply?" Julian asked.
"I would."
Shrieking. That was the first thing Harry heard when he woke up. Not giving himself time to even put his glasses on, Harry leaped out of bed and went directly to Teddy's crib, where he found his godson laying on his back kicking furiously at the air. His blanket had been kicked off, too, Harry saw.
"Teddy, good morning!" he whispered happily. He took Teddy out of his crib and held him firmly against his chest, running his hand through his bright orange hair. "Are you trying to become a Weasley?"
"Let's hope not," Draco said as he entered the room. "This world has too many of them already." Harry rolled his eyes before looking up.
"Can you make Teddy a bottle while I change his nappy?"
"I just did," he admitted.
"Oh, well… thanks," Harry said. Teddy began crying again. "Shh, shh, it's okay." He nervously bounced Teddy gently in his arms, trying to mimic the way he'd seen Andromeda do it before. It probably wasn't right, but it seemed to help calm Teddy. "Did you check to make sure it's the right temperature?"
"I'm not an idiot, Harry. Of course I checked."
Draco crossed the room to meet Harry with the bottle, but Harry wanted to change Teddy's nappy before he ate. He lay Teddy in the middle of his bed and summoned the box of nappies and wipes from the floor, along with a clean outfit from his dresser. When he opened Teddy's nappy he found more than just wee in it and repressed the urge to gag at the sight and smell that greeted him.
"Oh god." He'd changed Teddy several times in the past, but never when there was poo involved. How did Andromeda do this constantly?
"Everything okay?" Draco asked. Harry could hear the sounds of liquid sloshing back and forth behind him as Draco shook the bottle some more.
"Yep, fine." Harry did his best to hold his breath, but the wipes were sealed and he needed to keep Teddy's feet from dipping in the soiled nappy. It was difficult to concentrate on all of those things at once.
"You look like you could use a hand." Draco set the bottle down next to Teddy and opened the wipes for Harry, pulling several out at once.
"Thank you," Harry wheezed, letting more of his air reserve go. As quickly as he could while still being thorough, Harry wiped Teddy's bum. Teddy stared at him with a satisfied, toothless grin and Harry narrowed his eyes, wondering if Teddy thought his response was funny.
Finally Teddy's bum was clean enough to put another nappy on. Harry had no problems with that part, thankfully.
"What are we supposed to do with the soiled ones?" Draco asked. Harry looked over and saw that Draco had a look of pure disgust on his sharp face.
"Toss them in the bin, obviously." But then they'll stink up the house, he realised. "Or I'll just have Kreacher do something with them. He's probably been alive long enough to have done it before."
"Fair enough," Draco said. "Can I feed him, now that you've done the dirty work?"
"You want to?" Harry hadn't been expecting Draco to do these sort of things willingly. Harry used one of the discarded bags near his bed to wrap the dirty nappy in and set it called Kreacher to take care of it. Kreacher looked offended at the task he'd been asked to complete, but did it with no protests.
"I really liked feeding him," Draco muttered finally, as though he was ashamed to admit it.
"That's fine, it'll give me a chance to write to Kingsley," Harry said as he watched Draco pick Teddy up tenderly. Teddy's mouth rooted for the nipple of the bottle, causing both Harry and Draco to chuckle softly. Then Teddy's hair changed to a soft shade of brown. Harry wondered if that had been the colour of his hair when he'd been born. It did remind Harry a lot of Remus' hair. "We'll give him a bath after he's finished eating."
Draco's face lit up at Harry's proposal. Harry stifled the urge to kiss Draco, knowing that it would only distract him from the letter he had to write. Though he knew Kingsley wouldn't be upset with him for taking time off, he also knew that he would fall drastically behind in training, which would probably give Dawlish the incentive to push him harder than before. Harry promised himself that if things got so bad that he was injured on the job it would be his last straw; he would talk to Kingsley about Dawlish' behaviour. He'd been tempted to already, multiple times, but told himself that he was simply overreacting, that he could handle whatever Dawlish threw his way.
Forcing his mind to clear in order to write a proper letter, Harry bent down over his writing desk. Without the stool he felt his back protesting the action. Perhaps training had been harder on him than he'd thought. He ignored the pain in his lower back and wrote a brief, but explanatory letter to Kingsley requesting one week's leave. It was important to him to mention that it would be unpaid, too, or he felt Kingsley may accuse him of asking too much.
"He's holding my hand, Harry," Draco said in awe. Harry finished signing the letter and turned to look. Teddy was, in fact, holding Draco's index finger, but it was still one of the cutest things Harry had witnessed. Draco beamed down at Teddy and whispered sweet things and made raspberry noises with his lips.
"Who are you and what have you done to Draco?" Harry asked in mock fear. That earned him a typical Draco Malfoy glare, icy eyes and all. "You two are adorable." The glare narrowed and became more pointed. Harry decided it would be best for him to stop talking, but didn't prevent the laugh that escaped his mouth first.
There was a peck at Harry's window and he saw that an owl was awaiting entry. He crossed the room and opened it, took the letter, and the owl flew off. Looking at the front of the letter he saw it was from St. Mungo's and tried to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. This could be good news, he told himself.
"Is that from Andromeda?" Draco asked, looking briefly away from Teddy's small face to make eye contact with Harry. It was then that Harry remembered Draco had written a letter for Andromeda the previous night.
"Did you already send your letter?"
"Nearly an hour ago, yeah. It's probably from her, no need to worry." Harry wondered briefly how Draco had been able to tell he was worried in the first place.
Instead of asking, Harry simply opened the letter. There was a note at the top letting him and Draco know that, although Andromeda had not written the letter herself, they had copied it down word for word.
Draco and Harry,
I'm so very glad that the two of you are settling nicely with Teddy. I hope he's comfortable with you both. It's going to be a huge change for the three of you, living together, but I think you both have every capability to be excellent parental substitutes for him while I'm unable to be there for him.
Harry, please don't be afraid. I've seen the way you interact with Teddy. I've seen how taken you and Draco both are with him. Draco has assured me that you've taken great effort to prepare yourselves for his stay with you, and that, along with what I've personally witnessed, is enough to tell me that you both will do well with Teddy. I wouldn't have asked the two of you to care for him if I had any doubts as to whether you could or not.
As for Teddy's preferences, he hasn't got many. He's very young, so attention and love are the things he needs most. You both already know how to feed him and, Harry, you know how to change him. He usually showers with me, but he'll do just fine with a bath in the sink or a very shallow bath in the tub, so long as you support him and take great care not to let him slip from your hands. Once soap is added, babies become rather slippery.
It is comforting to know that Molly will be there to help the two of you through this. I have faith in her parenting capabilities.
I want to thank the two of you, from the bottom of my heart, for doing this for Teddy and me. I don't know how long this will last, but I know that the three of you will be just fine. If my illness takes away my ability to speak I urge you to ask the healers for advice in my stead. Many of them are parents and know the more intricate details of child care.
Love to you both,
Andromeda
Harry felt the overwhelming urge to cry at the sight of her letter. Andromeda's absolute lack of doubt in him was astounding. He'd had no idea she felt so strongly and his fears were greatly eased to see the words she had asked to be written. The mention of Spattergroit taking away her ability to speak worried Harry. Nobody had mentioned that. He supposed Draco had tried to tell him last night, but he hadn't wanted to discuss it then.
"What does it say?" Draco asked, only sounding mildly impatient. Harry walked to him and handed the letter over. "Here, can you burp him? I'd rather not get puke on my clothes." Harry scoffed, but gladly took Teddy from him and summoned one of the swaddling cloths to use as a burp cloth.
Placing Teddy on his shoulder Harry began patting his back. His eyes stayed on Draco, though, and he saw the way his hands tightened on the edges of the letter. Teddy burped at the same time that Draco exhaled roughly. Harry no longer wondered how upset Draco was about his aunt being ill. It was clear in his white knuckles and his ragged breathing. Harry couldn't offer Draco physical comfort as both hands were busy holding and thumping burps from Teddy. He could try to comfort him in a different way, the same way Draco had comforted him the night before.
"You have family who loves you," Harry said softly. Draco looked up from the letter and met his eyes.
"I know that now. I hope that includes you, too." Harry gave Draco a heartfelt smile that he hoped said yes. Draco didn't press him for more than he was willing to say.
The words Draco had said just the previous night with little trouble were etched into Harry's mind and he struggled to keep from feeling guilty for not returning them. It wasn't that he didn't feel that way for Draco, it was just that he'd only ever said those words to Ginny before. Though he didn't still feel that way about her, he wanted to be sure that he meant them completely before he said them to Draco. He didn't want to fool himself, or let himself fool Draco. It was still pretty early in their relationship, and now they had a baby to take care of. If he was being completely honest, Harry was afraid that this would be too much for Draco, that he wouldn't want to feel tied down like an actual couple with a child could be.
If he were to tell Draco he loved him, only for Draco to end up leaving, Harry wouldn't know how to cope with it. He could cope with it; he would have to. He just wanted to soften the blow as much as possible in case that ever did happen. Telling Draco that he loved him would not soften the blow if he ended up leaving.
"I meant what I said last night," Draco said, breaking Harry away from his thoughts. Harry knew that was true. "You don't have to return the favour yet, if you're not ready. Just… know that I meant it."
"Thank you." What else could he say?
"You're welcome. And thank you."
"Why am I being thanked?"
"For not feeling like you have to tell me you love me, or for lying if that's not really how you feel. I don't need to hear you say that until you're ready, and I already decided last night that I don't care how long it takes for you to say those words."
Harry's breath caught in his throat. He quit patting Teddy's back and cradled him in his arms. How could he tell Draco that he did think he felt that way for him without telling him word for word that he loved him? Hearing Draco say that he was willing to wait made his fears seem less important. Harry still wasn't ready to say it back yet, even with Draco's promise for patience.
"Why don't we give Teddy a bath?" Draco suggested, saving Harry from further discomfort.
"I'd really like that."
Several days passed with no incidences. Draco had become just as efficient as Harry at changing nappies, bathing, feeding, and taking care of Teddy in general. The two of them were feeling really confident about things. Teddy seemed to have adjusted, though he'd begun waking up in the middle of the night to eat. Draco and Harry took turns getting up with him and making sure he got back to sleep. This meant that Draco and Harry had also slept together each night. It was something they were now getting used to, having someone to hold and cuddle throughout the night. Of course, they hadn't done anything more than cuddle with Teddy in the same room, but that was fine with them. They were really beginning to feel like a successful makeshift family.
That is, until Harry got out of the shower one day and heard Draco shouting his name in panic.
Nearly slipping and falling on wet tile, Harry tugged a towel around his waist and tried to fasten it there, but he'd grabbed one of Teddy's by mistake. It was too small, of course, but he didn't have time to grab a different one.
"HARRY!"
"I'm coming!" Harry shouted back as he ran down the hall and down the stairs to the drawing room, where he thought Draco's voice was coming from.
Harry flung the doors open and stopped in his tracks. Draco was sitting on the sofa, holding Teddy at arm's length, his face twisted in a terrible grimace. Harry couldn't tell immediately what the problem was, so he asked.
"What's wrong with Teddy? Why were you screaming?"
"Will you look at his legs?" Draco shouted.
Teddy laughed, his hair turned purple, and Harry noticed that poo was smeared down his legs. His stretch and grow was stained around his bottom and up his back a bit. Harry also noticed that some of Teddy's mess had gotten on Draco's trousers, staining nearly an entire thigh. It couldn't be helped. Harry sputtered and laughed so hard that he nearly let the towel around his waist slip.
"This isn't fucking funny!" Draco was glaring furiously at Harry, but Harry didn't notice. He was doubled over laughing, his abs in pain from the strength of his amusement. "Will you please help me?" Draco's voice was quiet, harsh, and cold, with a distinct edge of desperation around the edges. There was nothing pleasant to Harry in hearing him speak that way, so he did his best to stop laughing as well as he could. It took an immense amount of effort.
"Okay, okay, I'll help you," Harry said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Bring him to the loo."
Draco followed Harry back up the stairs to his loo, still holding Teddy away from him and making gagging sounds now and then, probably when he couldn't hold his breath any longer. Once in the loo, Harry discreetly traded Teddy's towel for a larger one and then did his best to get Teddy's clothes off of him without getting his hands too dirty.
"What are we going to do with him?" Draco asked in a thick, clogged sounding way. He was still holding his nose, as it seemed.
"Bathe him. Well, I'm probably going to have to get in with him." Harry turned the shower back on and took Teddy from Draco.
"Good, I'm going to throw these trousers away and shower, myself. I feel filthy."
"Probably because you are," Harry laughed. Draco hummed angrily and stood up as straight as he could, in what he most likely thought was a dignified manner. To Harry it looked ridiculous, however; it's difficult to look proud when you've got shit on your trousers.
Draco glared at Harry for a moment before leaving that bathroom, allowing him to hop into the shower with Teddy. It hadn't ever occurred to Harry that he might have to shower with his godson, but there was a large part of him that felt truly fatherly about doing so. Teddy was simple enough to rinse off. Harry had done the same as Draco had and held him at arm's length under the stream of warm water until he could no longer see traces of brown in the water or on Teddy. Then he washed Teddy while holding him. Teddy seemed absolutely content, relaxing under the gentle fall of water. His hair turned a lovely shade of violet. It made Harry feel so proud to know that he could make Teddy feel so comfortable.
After Teddy was completely cleaned off and beginning to get restless, Harry turned the water off and got out of the shower. He wrapped Teddy in one of his towels and wrapped his own around his hips, then set off to get Teddy clean clothes.
"Let's not have a repeat of that any time soon, alright Teddy?" he asked the infant. Teddy kicked his legs and put his fist in his mouth, apparently not willing or able to agree to such terms.
It was the first day Harry had gone back to work. Draco had done his absolute best not to seem nervous or afraid, but the truth was that he was both. He had never spent extended periods of time alone with Teddy and wasn't sure how well it would go without Harry's help. Harry had told him to write to him should he need him to come home for some reason, but Draco still worried that in the time it would take for a letter to arrive something bad could've happened. If he could only cast a Patronus and send a message along with it the way Harry had when he'd asked them to meet. That would surely be faster. But Draco didn't know how to cast a Patronus. He didn't know how to make it send a message, either. If he were to tell Harry this, Harry would probably pity him and Draco didn't think he could bear that. Draco decided not to bring up the subject with Harry before he left for work that day, and instead smiled and kissed him goodbye.
As if Harry had been the peacekeeper holding Teddy's calm demeanor in place, Teddy cried nearly all day. Draco tried everything he could think of to get Teddy to stop; burping, a soothing bath, feeding, nappy change, playing with toys, even singing━ something he never did in front of others. None of it worked. Teddy was intent on screaming, it seemed, and Draco was at his wits end. Of course this would happen on his first day alone with Teddy. Of course he couldn't catch a real break.
So, in his desperation, he placed Teddy safely in his crib and asked Kreacher to keep an eye on him while Draco went to Floo Molly. It wasn't an emergency, so he didn't feel he needed Harry to miss more work, but he did need help. He caught a glimpse of the Weasley's sitting room and expected to see Molly on the other end, but was instead greeted with the sight of a surprised Weaselbee.
"Malfoy━ what do you want?" Weasley stuttered.
"I need Molly's help," Draco started, ignoring the distaste he felt at asking Weasley for his mother's help. "Where is she?"
"Listen, if this is some sort of trap I won't stand for it," Weasley began. Draco didn't give him a chance to complete that thought, however.
"I need her help, Teddy won't stop crying and I don't know what to do." Weasley blinked several times and disappeared from the flames, leaving Draco with the sight of the badly decorated sitting room. Soon enough Molly came into view and kneeled before her fireplace.
"What's this about Teddy?" she asked with a rather confused expression. "Do you mean Teddy Lupin?"
"Yes, I'll explain everything, but please just come over," Draco pleaded. He'd refrained from begging Molly's youngest son, but he was closer to Molly and needed to get across to her how important it was she come quickly.
"Okay," Molly agreed, still sounding uncertain. "I'll be over in a moment."
He removed his head from the flames and stepped back. A moment later, Molly appeared in a burst of emerald flames and stepped out into the kitchen.
"Now Draco, what is the issue? You seem in a fuss." Draco shook his head impatiently.
"It's not me that's in a fuss, it's Teddy. I can't get him to stop crying and I've no idea what to do. I've checked his nappy, given him a bottle..." He wasn't going to mention singing.
"But— Teddy… Why—?" Draco shook away her questions and hurried out of the room, gesturing for her to follow.
"Andromeda's fallen ill and she left Teddy with Harry and I, but I hardly know anything about taking care of a baby and I'm way over my head," he explained to her as they climbed the staircase to Harry's room.
"She's ill? With what?" Molly asked after a gasp.
"Spattergroit," Draco told her. Another gasp came from Molly and she picked up the pace behind him.
Molly went to the crib in Harry's room and didn't hesitate at all before picking Teddy up. Draco noticed Kreacher quickly escape the room with hands held over his large, flopping ears. Maybe it was the presence of a new face, or Molly's experience with babies, but Teddy immediately stopped crying once he was held in her arms. His hair gradually went from stark white to the soft brown it turned to when he was content. Draco felt a pang of jealousy and relief all at once. Why hadn't he been able to stop Teddy crying and all Molly had to do was hold him? Draco had held him, rocked him, patted his back. None of it had made any difference.
"Now, now, Teddy," Molly said sweetly. She kissed his forehead as though he were her own child and a strange feeling seeped into Draco's heart. Like a cross between nostalgia and despair. Relief was still there, still prodding his mind at the quiet Molly had induced in Teddy. "You're giving your cousin quite a hard time, aren't you? I think it's time we sat and had a talk." Molly looked up at Draco and winked. "All three of us."
Draco nodded and led the way back down to the drawing room. He and Molly sat side by side on one of the sofas. Molly was still focusing her attention on Teddy, curling one lock of his hair around her finger lovingly. Longing, that's what Draco was feeling. Longing. He longed for a delicate touch such as this from his own mother. He longed for her to set aside her petty views and accept him. There was so much he longed for…
"How are you feeling, Draco?" Draco blinked at Molly's question.
"I'm feeling… a lot," he replied, trying his best to sound composed.
"Can you give me one of those feelings?"
Draco tried to think, to dissect the emotions flowing through him like cream in a mug of tea. "Stressed," he decided first. Though he and Molly were a lot closer than he'd ever seen them being, he didn't feel like disclosing to her that he suddenly missed his mother.
"I can understand that. What's causing you to stress, besides Teddy's crying, that is?" That question led straight back to his feelings about his mother. Perhaps that topic was unavoidable after all. Still not wanting to discuss precisely what he felt about his mother, he took another route.
"How can I be a good influence on Teddy when I had, well… my parents as parents?" Molly's face softened visibly. She took one hand from Teddy's hair and patted Draco's shoulder.
"It's all about your choices, what you do differently from them. Teddy's so very young, now, and I'm sure that even if you were more like your parents you wouldn't influence him negatively before Andromeda has him in her custody again." Draco took this in. He'd been thinking about this situation as permanent without really meaning to. Molly was right, and it looked as though she knew that. "What else is bothering you, Draco? I can see there's something more."
Draco decided he probably owed Weaselbee an apology. His mother was too perceptive for her own good and Draco found himself pitying any of her children who tried to keep secrets in that household. Realistically he thought he'd rather be in one of Longbottom's Potions mishaps than apologise to Weasley, but he could still feel bad for him in the privacy of his mind.
"You can tell me," Molly said, interrupting his thoughts. "I won't go back to Harry and tell him, if that's what you're worried about."
"I can't cast a Patronus," he mumbled, deciding again not to talk about his mother. "If something happens to Teddy, I'm afraid an owl won't be fast enough. I know Harry can cast a Patronus and send messages with it, but I can't." Just as he'd been afraid Harry would, Molly looked at him with pity. "You don't have to look at me like that. I just haven't practiced is all." Molly's smile was a sad one.
"I can show you. You have to promise me you won't abuse the knowledge I'm going to share with you, though. Can you do that?" Draco tried his very best not to get offended. After his long history of being untrustworthy this was a huge step for Molly to take. He nodded tightly. "Alright, now where is your baby swing?"
"A baby swing?" Draco didn't know how a baby swing had anything to do with casting a Patronus.
"Don't tell me you don't have one," she chided. "That is essential in keeping hair on your head when you've got a baby to care for." Molly took her wand from her robes and quickly transfigured the throw pillow beside her into an infant swing. Then she kissed Teddy once more and buckled him into it, casting a charm that would keep the seat gently rocking.
"That's brilliant," Draco breathed. How had Harry not bought one of these at the store? Well, Harry wasn't exactly a parent, so he wouldn't know, Draco told himself.
"Yes, well. One doesn't have seven children and not know how to calm an infant," she said as she smoothed her robes. "Now, take your wand." Draco did. "Have you got a happy memory? A memory that outshines all the rest?" Draco stifled his sneer. Of course he had happy memories. More now than he'd had before he lived with Harry, even.
"I do," was all he said, and again tried to sound calm. He thought of the first time he'd held Teddy, the love he'd felt in that moment sticking out to him beyond all else.
"Focus deeply on that memory, on the feelings you had during that memory. Let yourself feel that once more."
"Oooo," Teddy said from his swing.
Draco smiled and closed his eyes. He pictured the way Teddy had stared up at him, like he was the only person in the whole world who was worthy of his attention. He remembered the way Teddy's fingers had reached towards his face from beyond his bottle. He felt the love, that fierce protective love, coursing through his blood. When Draco opened his eyes again he thought he was ready.
"I can see you've got that part done," Molly commended. "Now move your wand like this and say 'expecto patronum.'"
"Expecto patronum," Draco said, swishing his wand the way Molly had instructed. Nothing happened.
"A very good first try!" How could she tell? Nothing had happened. And how did she know this was his first attempt?
"I don't know if I can do this," Draco said, lowering his wand.
"Thinking like that will ensure you never can." Molly stepped closer and held his wrist loosely. "You need to believe in yourself, the way Harry believes in you." She paused. "The way I can already see Andromeda does, and I'm beginning to." Draco looked into the sweet brown eyes staring at him and knew she wasn't just saying this to make him feel better. "Now try again."
Draco did, too many times to count. He tried, and tried, and practiced, and practiced some more. Molly was nothing but supportive the entire time, but he still hadn't managed to produce anything more than a frail, silver strand from the end of his wand. It looked like glowing snot. He genuinely hoped that wasn't his Patronus, but he knew that it had to be an animal and not the drippings from someone's nose. Sighing, he sat down on the sofa and stared at Teddy, wondering if he would ever figure it out. If Teddy's love━ or rather, his love for Teddy━ wasn't enough, what was?
"Why don't you try another memory," Molly suggested, yet again causing Draco to feel as though his mind had been read. "Maybe you've got one that will work better?"
Draco didn't know whether he had a better memory than that, but he tried anyway. This time he thought about the time he and Harry had played piano together, their fingers brushing, the butterflies in his stomach that threatened to turn real and fly from his mouth. He could hear the clumsy notes in his mind and felt himself chuckling beneath his breath.
And he tried again. This time, he saw that the stream from his wand was desperately trying to form something. And then it didn't. Draco couldn't be bothered with feeling upset, though. He'd nearly done it!
"Very well done," Molly said, sounding rather impressed. "You know it takes some people weeks or months to learn to cast a Patronus. Some never do. You must be a very talented wizard to cast a Patronus. You'll get there, Draco."
"I think I can, too," Draco said. He felt confident about this for the first time since he'd started practicing. Looking over at Teddy Draco realised he'd fallen asleep in his swing, which was still rocking at a nice pace. He must've been practicing longer than he'd realised.
"That's probably enough practice for one day, though." Molly sat down and Draco followed suit. "Now. There was something else you've been avoiding telling me." Poor, poor Weasley, Draco thought as he also felt sorry for himself. How did this woman know everything? Draco was beginning to think she was worse than his own mother at needling information out of people.
Draco sighed and sat down next to Molly. There was no point in avoiding it any longer, apparently, as she was just going to find some way to force him to explain himself. Though Draco was loathe to admit it, he was intimidated by Molly Weasley.
"I… I miss my mother." Draco swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat that was causing him to sound more like a child than he already did. "Seeing the way you handle Teddy, it just makes me miss her. I wish she and I could be close again."
"Oh, dear." Molly took Draco into a full-on hug, pressing him tightly to her comfortable chest. Draco hugged her back and was unable to avoid inhaling her comforting scent. It was a mixture of lilacs and dish soap. "Dear, dear," Molly said, as if that was now the only word she knew. "Your mother sure has done a number on you, hasn't she?"
Draco didn't know how to respond, but hugged Molly tighter. For a moment he could almost pretend it was his own mother he was holding, and was holding him. That moment passed quickly; his mother was much bonier and stiff than Molly. Her hugs brought about a sense of security while his mother's hugs had typically felt formal, regardless of the situation. At least, once he'd become a teenager.
"Perhaps one day she'll realise what she's missing out on, being so stubborn." Molly released Draco and patted his cheek softly. "If she doesn't, she may never see what a fine son she's raised."
"Th-thank you," Draco stuttered. He'd never thought he'd hear Molly say something like that to him. Not in his entire life.
"No need." Molly stood up. "I'd best be going, though. Ron will think the worst if I don't go home and prove I'm not in any trouble with you." She rolled her eyes and chuckled. "He'll come around eventually, he just needs to get past his old prejudices and see that you've truly changed." Draco didn't bother telling Molly that he didn't think Weasley would ever come around to him.
"I really appreciate you helping me today," Draco said instead, glancing at Teddy. "I was starting to go mad, I think."
"Ah, the life of a parent." Molly's words fit neatly within her sigh. "Or guardian, in your case. You'll get used to it before long. And please, don't hesitate to call on me if you need any help at all. He is such a beautiful child, and I don't mind spending time with the two of you at all." Her gaze lingered happily on Teddy's sleeping face for a moment before she waved and left the room.
Draco found himself feeling tired as well, and as much as he didn't want to disturb Teddy, he thought that sleeping in the swing may not be such a good idea. He took Teddy gently from the swing and brought him up to Harry's room where he lay him down in his crib. Then Draco lay in Harry's bed and napped along with his cousin.
This day was no different from the many that had passed since Narcissa had come home. The elves continued to serve as though no time had been spent without their master, the manor was again filled with the elegant, expensive, and precious belongings the Ministry had taken in their search, and her bed was only slightly more lonely now than it had been the last time she'd slept in it. Really, not much was different.
Why, then, did she feel so empty? It hadn't been difficult to refrain from thinking of her son, not when thoughts of his 'lover' and the revenge she was planning filled her head. Why was it so difficult, today, to keep her mind from Draco? Narcissa set the Prophet aside on the fossilized lava rock table she sat before and sipped her tea. What was so different about today that prevented her from going about her business as usual? Thoughts of how her son might be faring intruded on the usually organised cave of Narcissa's mind. Was he happy where he was, with that insolent fool? Was he eating enough? Was he lonely? Did he miss her?
That was, perhaps, the most difficult thought to process. Narcissa's eyes pinched closed momentarily, a soundless breath passed between her lips. It did not matter. There were more important things to worry about than whether or not her adult son had difficulty in his chosen life. It was a life she never would've steered him towards, never would've encouraged. She had no business caring what happened to him now that he had openly challenged her, but if she truly didn't care she wouldn't be taking the measures she was now. Draco needed her guidance, her wisdom, her protection. Draco needed his mother.
As she came to that conclusion, Narcissa quietly excused herself from her personal dining table and willed herself to complete the layout of her revenge. A simple plan, really, one that wouldn't be traced back to her if she went about it correctly. And she would. There could be no failure where this was concerned. Harry Potter would rue the day he corrupted her son. Looking down at the papers that could only be seen by her eyes, Narcissa knew she was close to the finalised plan. There was one person she needed to contact before things could be set in motion, before she could have her son back.
A smile that would be seen as contemplative by anyone who didn't know her spread across her mouth as she wrote a delicately worded letter. Were her husband or son here to see that smile, she knew they would know precisely what it meant. Lucius would ask what had upset her. Her son would avert his gaze and pretend he hadn't seen anything. Neither was there to see it, however, as she wrote to the person who owed her more than a life-debt: Azalea Zabini.
"Fuck," Harry muttered as he looked down at the thick, cream coloured paper in his hand, as well as the swirling writing that seemed to mock him. The invitation had come floating down to him from one of the many owls flying overhead in the Atrium of the Ministry and landed directly in his shirt collar. "Fuck…" Nothing doing; no matter how many times he said fuck aloud or in his mind, the invitation to the upcoming Ministry Christmas party would not disappear. For some reason, regardless of the comfort seeing the allowance for a plus-one offered him, Harry had a feeling it wouldn't be something Draco would want to do and he had the distinct feeling he'd be attending alone.
Shaking his head, tucking the invitation into his trouser pocket, and ignoring the dread curling in his stomach, Harry headed to the Floo room and decided it would be best to just tell Draco about the party and get it over with all the sooner. So he'd be going alone, how bad could that really be? As he wiped soot from his clothes and stepped from the fireplace in the kitchen of Number 12, Harry saw that it was deserted. Sighing in relief, he set about making tea. If anything would make what he was about to do less awkward, it would be tea.
Harry sat down at the kitchen table and closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair. The sounds of the empty kitchen were comforting, the sound of water bubbling in the kettle reminded him of being at the Burrow during the quieter hours of the days leading up to Christmas. Not that there were many, but he relished those times when all that could be heard was the soft wind against the window panes, the bubbling of the kettle, and the creaking of the house settling all around him.
"How long have you been home?" Draco's voice interrupted Harry's daydreaming and caused his eyes to snap open. At the same time, the kettle began whistling loudly behind him.
"Just long enough to make tea," Harry replied in what he hoped was a calm manner. His anxiety about the Christmas party would not cease and as he stood to steep some leaves in the boiling water he told himself he'd imagined the look of suspicion on Draco's face.
"Did something happen today?"
"No," Harry said too quickly. "Just…" Sighing, Harry pulled the invitation from his pocket and sent it soaring over his shoulder in Draco's general direction. Several moments passed in silence as Harry watched the colour of the water in the teapot change from clear to murky amber.
"I'm not going," Draco said firmly. Harry's lips pinched together in a line of disappointment, though he had already assumed that would be Draco's reply.
"So I'd thought," he mumbled, apparently not quiet enough.
"You knew I'd say no?" Harry poured two cups of tea and brought them to the table, setting one in front of his disgruntled boyfriend-not-party-date.
"What else would you have said, 'I just can't wait to be put on display in front of all those gossip-mongers at the Ministry?'" Harry laughed dryly. "No, I doubt that. As soon as I saw the invitation I knew I'd be going alone."
"Well…" For a moment, Draco looked as though he felt ashamed of his hasty decision, but then his expression turned into one of forced nonchalance. "Do you have to go?"
"I can't very well not go, not after the favour Kingsley's done for me by letting me take work off. I wouldn't feel right about it."
"Can you take someone else?" Draco's look of nonchalance was quickly changing to one of desperation. "Couldn't… Couldn't you take Weasley, or… or Granger?" Harry scoffed.
"Sure, and have the papers spouting rubbish about how I'm cheating on you, that'll be great. Listen, it's okay. I can manage a few hours of small talk and whatever else on my own."
"Fine, if you're going to twist my arm about it, I'll go," Draco said, folding his arms across his chest and looking harassed.
"I'm not twisting anything, but… it would be really nice if you did go with me." Harry felt bad saying it, but it was true. He would feel a lot better if Draco was there with him braving the mass questions he's sure to get from the many Ministry employees just dying to know what he's been doing since the war.
As Draco's face softened and he turned to face Harry, a twinge of delight twitched somewhere in his abdomen. "I'll go with you, but on one condition." A smirk lifted the corner of Draco's lips.
"Oh god…"
"Is that an agreement?"
"I'd need to hear what your condition is first," Harry muttered.
"You have to wear the outfit with the braces," Draco demanded in a low voice, his grey eyes twinkling with repressed laughter.
"Only if you wear your dragon shirt."
"No, that's not how this works. I'm doing a great and noble thing by even attending the function in the first place, so I'm the one who gets to make demands. Not you."
"Is that so?" Harry had to try very, very hard to stifle the bark of a laugh his lungs seemed to want to throw out, but he managed somehow. "In that case, I think I'll go alone and wear something that won't cause my dignity to suffer so badly." At Draco's sound of outrage Harry's efforts not to laugh failed entirely.
"You think you're so clever, don't you?" Draco snapped, though the bite wasn't there at all. "When is this awful thing happening, anyway?"
"Didn't you read the invitation?"
"Not entirely, just up until the words 'Annual Ministry Christmas Celebration.' It was too much to bear beyond that." Drama queen, Harry thought to himself with a soft chuckle.
"It's in three days. And if it means so much to you I'll wear that stupid outfit."
"And you'll let me do your hair." It wasn't a question, but Harry shook his head and rolled his eyes anyway.
"That wasn't part of the bargain, but whatever." With Draco's uncharacteristically gleeful squeak across from him Harry felt like he was the one getting the short end of the stick.