The months following Christmas were hectic, to say the least. The day after the Weasley Christmas gathering, Hermione and Ron had popped in to announce their engagement. As it turned out, Ron had proposed that night when he'd gone up to bed after Hermione. Molly and Arthur had secretly known all about it, apparently, because they had given Ron his great-grandmother's wedding ring to propose with. Hermione was ecstatic, to say the least, as she showed off the glimmering opal and sterling silver ring to Harry and Draco, and even Teddy.
"It needs to be cleaned and resized, still," Ron had said sheepishly as his freckled complexion reached shades of red yet unseen by Harry. "But I'm glad it fits well enough that she can wear it for now. And that she said yes."
"Oh, Ron," Hermione sighed as she shook her curls at him. "What else would I have said to you? Try again next year?" Ron's face deepened in colour as he averted his gaze, but Harry could tell this was just as important to him as it was to Hermione, though he showed it in a very different way.
"You'll be my best man, right, Harry?" Ron asked, shooting embarrassed glances at Draco.
"Don't worry, Weas— er, Ron, rather," Draco said with false sharpness. "I wouldn't want to be in your wedding even if you begged me, so no hard feelings," which was really Draco's way of saying 'it's alright, I won't be upset that I'm not involved.'
"I'd be honoured, Ron!" Harry jumped up from the kitchen stool to hug Ron tightly. "When's the wedding going to be?"
"Not for a while," Hermione supplied. "I've still got school, of course, and Ron's starting Auror training next week, so we'll both be incredibly busy for a while. It'll probably be a long engagement."
"Mum'll be happy about that. She was pretty miffed with Bill and Fleur about getting married so quickly after getting engaged."
"Yeah, we talked about that last night," Harry said with an awkward grin. He couldn't help but get a bit flustered at any mention of Bill, though he couldn't pinpoint why exactly that might be. Draco snorted from nearby and Harry's brows shot down at the noise. He didn't know what was funny, but apparently Draco did.
"Although I have my own suspicions that she just didn't much like Fleur at the time," Ron added, almost more to himself than to anyone else.
"She seems fond enough of her now, at least," Hermione offered, to which Ron replied with a mere shrug.
"So yeah!" he said cheerfully. "Soon we'll be Mrs. and Mr. Weasley!"
"No. Soon we'll be Mrs. Granger-Weasley and Mr. Weasley," Hermione corrected quickly. "I'm not giving up my last name and before you start with me, there are enough Weasleys as it is, so be happy I'm even hyphenating it." Ron had been about to cut in, but at her fierceness and logic he seemed to gather it was a moot point. Again Draco snorted, but this time Harry knew exactly what was funny and had difficulty not laughing himself.
The week Harry had gone back to work proved to be his best week of training so far; Kingsley had had his talk with Dawlish and he'd indeed gone with his decision to put him on unpaid suspension, as well as making him write a letter of apology to both Harry and Draco. Dawlish was being temporarily replaced by a stern witch named Devorah Roths. She was incredibly impressed with Harry's ability to counter curses and dodge hexes in the training room, and Harry was content to let her believe that his abilities came naturally, rather than having them forced on him by Dawlish's ridiculously difficult training techniques. It was actually nice, almost relaxing, having her train him instead. She used a fairness with all the other trainees and even did group training, rather than strictly one-on-one, so Harry was reintroduced to team efforts in battle. He was enabled to get to know his peers better and was beginning to form work friendships with several of them. Dean Thomas was one of those people, and though Harry had thought Dean was still upset at him for being in a relationship with Draco he realised quickly that Dean had no real qualms with it.
"I was more so concerned with your habit of staying at work too late," he'd explained when Harry asked about the encounter in his cubicle. "And I guess I was sort of worried about you being under a spell or love potion, but that article didn't really give me a reason not to think that. You're alright, though, so I guess I shouldn't have taken Skeeter so seriously."
Harry was surprised to find out that Dean was also seeing a wizard, though he hadn't been all too shocked to find out that it was Seamus Finnigan. They'd always been really close in school, so maybe it was just a matter of time before the two of them coupled up. It gave Harry a sense of comradery with Dean to know that they were both going against society's wishes in regards to their love life, and the two were quickly becoming close friends. They'd even gone on a few double-dates with their partners, and though the two Gryffindors were slow to pick up on Draco's wry sense of humour and posh mannerisms, they did eventually learn that Draco wasn't being mean and didn't think he was any better than them. It didn't take long at all, after that, for the four men to cosy up to each other in a new friendship. It certainly made it easier for Harry to get the courage to go out in public, both alone and with Draco. The same was becoming true for Draco as well. Not long after their second double date Draco began going out with Teddy to do the shopping and to buy owl treats when Cosmos ran out, rather than having Kreacher run those errands.
The Prophet had had a gas writing about the first couple of double-dates, as well as spotting Draco out and about with Teddy, but after a while the news gave up its attempts to convince magical society that Dean and Seamus were being blackmailed into befriending him and Draco. After all, there was no evidence to suggest that there was any truth to the articles, so there wasn't much to write about after a while. Draco had refused to comment when reporters asked if he'd kidnapped Teddy, but after going through the public hospital records and realising that it was his cousin he was toting around, they seemed to leave him be in that aspect as well. Harry noticed himself and Draco maturing as he realised that their responses to these articles were much more mild than they'd been before. Where once they would've gone into a rage at the audacity of the reporters for writing about them in the first place, now they had only to think about Teddy and the goings-on in their own lives seemed much more important than rubbish newspapers. The Colin-look-alike reporter gave Harry, specifically, a better outlook on reporters in general. He realised it was just their job to write about these things and it was something he shouldn't take personally. He had always been an easy target for the papers, he supposed.
Not long after the Christmas holiday ended, Draco had decided to write to Lucius in Azkaban. Harry wasn't sure it was a good idea— he wasn't sure how much Draco's father had heard about his and Draco's relationship, or how he felt about it— but it wasn't as if he could prevent Draco from reaching out to his family. Draco had simply sent a Christmas card to Lucius, wishing him a happy holiday. There'd been a little note at the bottom of the card that Draco had been hesitant to write in the first place, but decided he'd leave it. He'd written, 'Father, I hope this holiday season finds you well. I apologise for being late with the card.' Harry didn't see why it was a big deal whether or not he'd written the seemingly harmless note, but he also didn't know much about how the Malfoys interacted with each other. For all he knew, that could mean a dozen different things in Lucius' mind.
When Draco received a very long letter in reply from his father, Harry was not only concerned, but incredibly taken aback. At first Draco had not wanted Harry to read it, which worried Harry further, but only a few hours later he'd shoved the parchments into Harry's lap and walked away to 'go make tea.'
Harry looked down at the letter, unsure of whether he really wanted to read it or not, but he couldn't resist the temptation or the curiosity.
Draco,
It's been far too long since I've heard from you. What's kept you from writing? It's dreadfully boring here and hearing from you would certainly aid me in avoiding a death by ennui. The tedium that is prison life is one to be reckoned with.
Harry wondered if that was Lucius' way of saying he missed his son, but continued reading before Draco came back and changed his mind about letting him read it at all.
I'll have you know I've heard all about your new relationship with Mr. Potter. You and I both know that I'd warned you not to tell your mother of your sexual proclivities. And now look what's happened. Though, the blame cannot truly be pinned on you, strictly speaking; however I was not impressed when your mother sent me the clipping of that terrible Prophet article about your public display in a muggle mart. I thought I'd raised you with more self-awareness and control than this, Draco.
On that same note, why in Salazar's name have you chosen Harry Potter as your partner? Surely there are plenty of better wizards out there for the taking. He always was a pompous child. Don't think I've forgotten all the trouble he gave you in school, either, the disrespectful brat. Severus hadn't one good thing to say about that boy, and I've always trusted him to be a good judge of character. I wonder what Severus would think of this situation, were he alive to comment on it today.
I digress… I feel the need to apologise to you, son, for the fact that I also signed those papers to remove you from our vaults, but I need you to understand that your mother threatened me with lengthening my sentence from two years to ten. I have a feeling that this will all blow over in time, however, so please do not worry. You'll have your name back in our will and on the Gringotts accounts soon enough. I've been trying to reason with Cissy over all of this, but you know how your mother can be when she feels slighted. She may not be a Malfoy by name, but she certainly learned our ways over time. Maybe that's not quite a good thing, though, now I think about it. She gets enough of it from her side, anyway.
If you don't feel inclined to write back I can't promise I won't be disappointed, but I'll understand if you don't. You're still my son, for what it's worth, and though I don't approve of your choice in partners I will support you in your… coming out? Is that what the young people are calling it these days? Regardless of what it's called, I support you in this. Whether you are attracted to witches or wizards, you are still my Draco, still the boy I've always known.
Please consider finding a better life-mate,
Lucius
"Why the hell does he hate me so much?" Harry asked the empty room. Just then, Draco came into the room carrying two cups of tea, setting one on the end table beside Harry.
"Because you were a pompous, disrespectful brat as a child and you caused me so much trouble in school, obviously. Can't you even read, Potter? Or did that Polyjuice Potion you apparently took to spy on me in school never wear off properly, so you're stuck with Goyle's brain instead of your own? That might explain a few things, come to thing of it," Draco said thoughtfully. "I always thought he might have a thing for me. Then again, who doesn't?"
"Fuck off!" Harry laughed hard at Draco's old pompous wit coming back to haunt him. It was something he missed from time to time, along with the use of his surname, which no matter how hard Draco tried to make sound rude only sounded slightly harsh with an affectionate undertone. "If anything it was you giving me trouble, Malfoy." It seemed Harry couldn't very well keep Draco's surname from sounding more fond than spiteful as well, and if Draco's slightly pink cheeks had anything to say about it, he seemed to notice that too.
"That's a matter of perspective, Harry love. He'll come around eventually, I think. At least, he's much more likely to than my mother. He's always been a bit softer than her in that sense, I think." It was odd to Harry to think that anything about Lucius could be considered soft, but he supposed that nothing quite compared to Narcissa's stubbornness, from all he'd heard of her from her son. Draco sat at the other end of the sofa and tucked his feet beneath him. He looked alright, but Harry wasn't fooled.
"How do you feel about this?" He pointed to the letter, which he promptly folded back up and set between them. Draco gave a small half frown before resuming his nonchalant expression.
"I'm glad he's written to me," he said simply.
"Is that all?"
"No, but I'm 'not inclined' to discuss it right now." He put finger air-quotes around Lucius' previously used words and sipped his tea.
Well, if he didn't want to discuss it with Harry he didn't have to, but Harry did hope he'd change his mind about it. Either way, he didn't press the matter, even when he went to their room after putting Teddy to bed that night and discovered Draco at the writing desk with a quill in his hand and a full parchment before him. He badly wanted to look at what Draco had written the following morning as he got ready for work and saw the small stack of papers still sitting out from drying, but decided to respect Draco's privacy and leave it be.
Not long after Draco and Lucius' correspondence beginnings, some time in the middle of February, Draco and Harry received an official letter from the Ministry, along with many forms that were already half-filled out, regarding their guardianship over Teddy. They were being granted the right to dual guardianship over Teddy for the simple fact that there were laws in place already against two same-sex people marrying. Harry didn't know whether to be thankful for them bending the other laws or outraged for bending those and not the ones having to do with marriage. Draco was incensed for other gay people, along with people of other orientations (Harry hadn't known there were so many) since he himself had no desire to be married, but knew that others might. He'd ranted on and on about the unfairness of it all, that it shouldn't matter whether or not the people in a marriage were male and female or otherwise. Harry listened through it all, feeling a thrum of compassion for his boyfriend and wishing there was something he could do about it.
Then a thought struck him, after Draco had calmed down and they'd finished filling out the guardianship papers to send out in the morning with Cosmos: he could do something about it. He was the Boy Who Lived, one of the more influential people in this country and quite a few other countries besides. If he began a campaign for equal rights… But that was ridiculous, wasn't it? He wasn't really much of a spokesman in general. He'd only recently found out that he was bisexual, so how could he speak for an entire group of people? It didn't seem like he had the right to do so, having such little knowledge on the matter. He wasn't even sure how many laws were in place, or what they said, about same-sex relationships.
"But you do, don't you?" he asked Draco, who looked confused as he glanced up from the book he was reading.
"I do what, now?"
"You know about the laws restricting same-sex couples, right?"
"Of course I do," he replied with an air of haughtiness, as though it was a ridiculous question to ask. "I've known I was gay for a very long time, Harry, of course I would do research in order to protect myself from the law. Why do you ask?"
"It's just that… you seem really passionate about the inequality going on right now…" He trailed off, not really knowing how to phrase what he was thinking.
"Well spotted." Draco gave Harry a strange look and closed the book in his lap to better focus. "What's this about? I know there's a point to this somewhere beneath all your incoherence."
"I was sort of thinking, you know, while you were going on about the fact that we— I mean, same-sex couples, not us because we're not getting married, obviously— can't get married and I was wishing I could do something about it. Then I thought I can, but I don't think I'm the right person to speak for an entire group of people that I'm only half a part of."
"Okay, first of all, you can't be half a part of the community. Do you know what LGBT stands for?"
"Er, no. I can't say that I do," Harry admitted, feeling self conscious about his lack of knowledge about all things relating to sexual orientation.
"It's an initialism that started being used in the U.S in the late eighties. It stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender. You've identified yourself as bisexual, therefore you are a part of the community. Secondly," he said, continuing on with his original train of thought, "there is no reason why you wouldn't be the perfect person to speak for us. You're Harry bloody Potter, alright? That carries a bit of weight, and you would be able to skew peoples' opinions regarding us as far as our rights are concerned with an ease that no one else would have. Lastly, are you trying to say that you're considering speaking out about gay rights?"
"I… erm, I'm not really sure? I thought maybe you'd be a better person for it, since you know way more about this sort of stuff than I do. I'd be clueless if I were to speak publicly and I'd probably end up making things worse in the end."
"Well, you're certainly not making a very good case for yourself currently, I have to agree," Draco said with a smirk. "I don't think I'd be a very good candidate for spokesman, personally, because society hates me. They hate me for who I am, my sexuality, and who I'm with— namely you. So whose mind I'd be changing, I'm not sure. I'm probably not seen as the most all-respecting, all-inclusive inspirator at the moment," he said as he brushed a hand over his left arm. Draco paused in his speech to ask, "What are your reasons for wanting to do this in the first place? What's your motivation?"
"Partly because it makes you so unhappy, the way things are, but also because it doesn't make much sense to me for the laws to stay the way they are now. I don't see what harm it would do at all for people to marry the same sex." Harry left out the part that he would, one day, like to get married because Draco didn't want to and it would distract from the main point of the conversation. It wasn't like they'd been together long enough to contemplate marriage seriously, anyway.
"So you're beginning to understand that our laws are fucked up in regards to people like us, then," Draco said as he nodded. "That's good. That's the first step to changing things. The next step would be for you to start working against the way things are, but it's up to you whether or not you want to."
"It'll be really hard," Harry admitted. "But… it would be worth it, wouldn't it?"
"You need to visit a library. There are a lot of records of hate crimes against the LGBT community. It's sickening, once you really delve into the way we're treated through history, and even these days. I mean, it makes the way we've been treated look like we're being celebrated by comparison."
"Last time we went out with Dean and Seamus that old man threw a rock at us, though," Harry pointed out, surprised that it could get worse than that. He really was in the dark, he supposed.
"And called us faggots, don't forget that," Draco said with a heated glare that Harry knew wasn't directed at him. "I loathe that fucking word."
"I thought a fag was a cigarette…" He felt bad for his ignorance on the subject, but he really didn't know.
"It is, but that other word— you really need to visit a library. Do some research and see if you don't feel more passionately about it then."
"What does it mean? That word." He didn't want to say it again, seeing how vehemently Draco was displaying his hatred toward it.
"In the dictionary it is listed as a 'bundle of sticks or twigs bound together as fuel,'" Draco quoted stiffly. "And when being used as a derogatory term we're basically being told that we're only worth kindling for a fire and nothing more." Harry's eyes widened at this information. He'd had no idea.
"I… That's so fucked," was all he could think to say. The fact that a human being could be considered fire fuel simply for being homosexual made no sense to him and made him feel ill.
"Yes, it is. And that's the tip of the iceberg, if you can believe it. If you're really wanting to invest your time in this it'll benefit you to look further into these things."
And so Harry had done research, in whatever spare time he'd had in the next several weeks. He'd discovered that laws against homosexuality went all the way back to 1533 in the UK, when the Buggery Act was passed by Henry VIII. While magical society was even more separate from muggle in those days, they took it upon themselves to follow suit, passing a similar law called the Act Against Homosexual Concupiscence. This law was changed in the late forties in magical society, when it was made illegal to be openly homosexual, but it didn't make Harry feel any less sick reading over the accounts of people being hanged because they'd been found guilty of participating in an 'unnatural sexual act against the will of God and man.' Or, in magical-law terms, an 'unnatural sexual act against civilization and humanity.' The fact that it'd taken so fucking long for the law to change was terrifying as well. To think that just fifty years ago, had he been born in that time, he and Draco could've been hanged for their relationship… It was an eye-opening revelation.
Those were the earlier accounts of violence against LGBT people. It only got worse from there. Harry read that in the early 1900's, it was common for gay men and women to be arrested and given long sentences in Azkaban (or muggle jail) or chemical/potion treatments for their sexualities. Insane asylums had been another common way to deal with gays and lesbians back then, both in magical and muggle worlds, and that was another horror story entirely. The most gut-wrenching case Harry read about having to do with chemical treatment was the chemical castration of **Benedict Dilexit. He was a wizard who had gone on to be an Arithmancy major, an Herbalist, and had helped during the first wizard war by creating safe houses in the forties and early fifties. In 1952 he was accused of 'gross indecency' and then convicted. His options for punishment were either prison time or probation, but he would only be granted probation if he agreed to brave hormonal treatment. This hormonal treatment, if its effects were accurate, was meant to lower his sex drive, from what Harry gathered. Apparently he thought that being fed experimental potions that were probably dangerous was safer than being put in prison. He wasn't let off as easy as he'd hoped, however; Harry read on to find out that Dilexit had died in 1954. He was meant to have committed suicide, as far as the reports went, but there was also evidence that suggested he could've been accidentally poisoned. Harry wondered just how much of an accident it had been. He hoped it truly was an accident, and not someone taking their hatred out on him for his choice in lovers. The thought that it could've been just that made Harry want to cry in the public library, and he only just managed not to.
In more recent times there were accounts of unsolved murders, all taking place in the time span of six months. Harry discovered that in 1989 and 1990 two men were murdered in their homes and one was found knocked out on the side of the road in west London, as well as an actor named Michael Boothe, who was also murdered in west London.
The first man, Christopher Schliach, was stabbed over forty times in his own home. The second man, Henry Bright, was also stabbed to death in his home. The man who'd been found on the roadside and later died from head injuries was William Dalziel, the only wizard of the bunch. Being a wizard didn't make it any more or less devastating or wrong, but it hit home that this could've been Draco, or Dean, or Seamus, or the countless other wizards who had been open about their sexualities. On and on the list continued, more names popping up the further he read. Magical society in particular seemed to have it out for "the gays," as uncle Vernon had donned them. Corbin Steffel, Henrietta Burmingham and her lover Daisy Delilah, Marcus Flemming, Aruva Kennt, Danderstaff Wyburger, Wiley Schodger, Romona Humble, Olive Oakley, Maudlin Gravibus, and hundreds more made up the magical people who had lost their lives in cruel acts of hatred.
It was some comfort to read, after learning these things, that in July of 1990 there was a march consisting of hundreds of gays and lesbians. Their march began in the park where the actor had been killed and went all the way to Ealing town hall. Once there, they held a candlelight vigil for the late Michael Boothe. It made Harry somewhat confused as to why these people only marched for the actor and not the others; didn't they mean as much as he did? Weren't their lives worth just as much as his? Wasn't their plight as gay men and women just as heartbreaking? Harry felt that every single one of these men and women should've been honoured with a vigil.
As he thought this, he realised that he did need to do something about the way things were. No, it was no longer illegal to be gay or otherwise, but there were still laws protecting those who acted violently against people who weren't heterosexual. There were still laws prohibiting the marriage between two gay men, two lesbians, and transgendered people in general. It was dehumanizing, Harry thought, and he couldn't stand by with his political sway and stay silent about these things.
When he went home from the library the evening he'd decided to start his campaign, or at least discuss with Draco how to go about it, he found his boyfriend at the kitchen table feeding Teddy. There was a folded up letter by his elbow with the Gringotts seal popped open on the front.
Forgetting about what he'd just decided— there was only one reason Gringotts would contact Draco that Harry could think of, and he genuinely hoped it was true— Harry asked, "What's that for?"
"What's what for?" Draco asked distractedly as he continued scooping up food and bringing it toward Teddy with aeroplane sounds accompanying his movements.
"The letter. It's from Gringotts, right?"
"Oh, that," Draco said as he set the baby spoon down in the jar of pureed pumpkins. "It's my mother's apology, I think. I don't know what's happened, but I've been written back in to the vault accounts and the will."
"What?" Harry exclaimed, crossing the room quickly to grab Draco by the shoulders. "Are you taking the piss, or…?"
"No, I'm serious. Take a look, if you don't believe me." Draco's voice was level, but his upturned lips and the glee in his eyes gave him away immediately. Harry tugged him off his stool and into his arms as he went on and on about how great it was that this had happened. "Don't get your ratty old knickers in a twist just yet," Draco interrupted as he removed himself from Harry's grasp.
"Why not? Draco, this is amazing! And my pants aren't ratty or old," he said in mild defence. Sure, a couple of the pairs had holes in them and the elastic was worn in all of them, but they weren't… Alright, maybe they were ratty and old.
"Maybe it is. I'm not sure about it, yet. For all we know my mother could be planning something to follow this up with, after all. She's not exactly the person I trust most these days, and she hasn't sent a letter explaining her decision, so as of right now I'm refraining from getting my hopes up."
Just then an owl came barreling out of the fireplace, just barely missing the fire in the grate with its wings. Cosmos, Harry realised, held a stiff piece of parchment in its beak and, though there was no writing on the face or back of the letter, Harry was convinced that it was from Narcissa.
"Why don't I take Teddy for a while," Harry offered, and didn't wait for Draco's reply before retrieving the restless bundle of energy that was Teddy from his high chair. He had a feeling Draco would need to be alone with that letter for a while, and he had habit of bottling his emotions when Harry was around and the feelings were still fresh. Better to let him process these things alone for now.
The months following Christmas were hectic, to say the least, for Narcissa. She'd spent the holiday alone, without her husband or son, or anyone else for that matter. The house elves had attempted to engage her in conversation, but she didn't feel it was a decent substitute for her child or spouse and had waved off their questions and comments. That wasn't what was causing her strife, however. What was truly bothering her was the fact that she still hadn't come to any decision concerning Draco or Potter. She'd spent weeks trying to formulate some plan, but still had no clue what she was going to do regarding their relationship and was absolutely confused as to whether or not she should do anything at all.
Narcissa wanted to keep her son safe, but more than that she wanted him to be happy. There were no lingering doubts in her mind that Draco was happy with Potter. The Ministry Christmas party had seen to expelling whatever thoughts she'd had about this relationship being a strike against his upbringing in one fell swoop. Perhaps that's what it had been in the beginning— she had no real way of knowing, since they hadn't spoken about it until she'd found out, and that was only to threaten him— but it was more than that now. She hadn't risked her own life in order to find out if Draco was still alive so that she could ruin the life she was so worried about. And yet… isn't that precisely what she'd tried to do? If she were to kill Potter at this rate she would only be ensuring that Draco's happiness be avoided for, quite possibly, forever.
Plain and simply, though, magical Britain was no place for a gay couple, which worried her to no end. Draco was already hated by most of the people that made up magical Britain, and his coming out so publicly was dangerous, especially being tied to a name as well-known as Potter's. Should Draco wind up dead at the hands of some homophobic idiot, Narcissa would be left with no son at all.
"Not that I've done a good job making sure he knows he's my son," she muttered to her morning porridge.
A huge pang of guilt swept through Narcissa as she realised that she could've been one of those 'homophobic idiots' had she gone through with her plan to murder Harry. At first she'd tried to defend herself, but when she thought of all the reasons she had for killing him she could come up with nothing that didn't point to herself as being hateful, petty, and cruel.
"What have I become?" she gasped quietly. "What was I thinking?"
Panic flooded Narcissa's system as she shoved the bowl of porridge away from her. This wasn't what she'd wanted for Draco. None of it. She hadn't wanted for him to be gay, she hadn't wanted for him to fall in love with Potter, but she most certainly hadn't wanted him to be isolated from his family and made an even bigger target for the media thanks to her actions.
As Narcissa swiftly Apparated to Gringotts the only thought running through her mind on repeat was, 'This was a mistake, this was a mistake.' Over and over she told herself what a huge blunder she'd made as she signed the necessary papers to put Draco back on the vault accounts and will. The change would take twenty four hours to be approved, but she'd at least begun to try and turn this mess around. She legitimately felt as though she'd lost the plot as she remembered the things that had gone through her head prior to her decision to kill Potter. 'He saved us all, and yet I would kill him over this?' she asked herself, feeling utterly miserable. 'He saved Draco, and yet I would kill him over wanting to be his partner?'
She had never felt so disgusted with herself, apart from the many times she'd had to kiss the Dark Lord's hand or the hem of his robes to show her… solidarity… Still, she couldn't believe she'd stooped so very low. When she got home from the bank she sat down in her parlour at her writing desk and began writing a letter of apology. She wasn't sure whether or not he would accept it, and after all she'd done to him she couldn't very well blame him, but she had to try. It would keep her from sleep, or peace of mind, if she didn't at least try. And so she had offered to meet him at a park nearby where Potter's house was rumoured to be. Every day she would plan to wait for him until he showed up, and if he never did… well, at least she could say that she'd made an attempt to salvage her relationship with her son.
It was as though a tornado had gone off in Draco's head. First the Weasley Christmas, where he was treated more like family by practical strangers than he'd ever been treated previously, then the guardianship papers for Teddy from the Ministry, then his father's letter, the letter from Gringotts, and finally a letter from his mother. It was too much to process all at once, and he was grateful beyond words when Harry took Teddy upstairs to give him time. At first he hadn't even wanted to open the letter from his mother; what would be the point? She probably had done this as a way of hanging yet another proverbial sword over his head. He'd put money on her listing more threats and insults in the letter, if he had any money to bet on it… But he did, actually. It would take some getting used to, the fact that he now had access to the Malfoy vaults once more. He'd grown used to having no money, oddly enough. It hadn't been very hard with Harry paying his way at every corner.
As he sat at the kitchen table pondering over the letter and whether or not he should open it, he recalled his father's words from the last letter he'd written. Lucius had explained that Narcissa had sounded incredibly guilty in the most recent letter he'd gotten from her, and he'd had a feeling that sooner rather than later Draco would hear from her. He hadn't gone into much detail about the letter she'd sent him, but that was incentive enough for Draco to rip off the Malfoy seal and open the stiff parchment.
What he found inside only added to the shock that the recent months had brought.
Dearest Draco,
Let me begin by telling you how terribly sorry I am for what I've done. The way I've treated you is no way for a mother to treat her son. And you are my son, no matter the message I've sent to suggest otherwise. I love you, and I cannot believe the way I've acted toward you. Some mother I am indeed.
My apology extends to your Potter as well, though I'm unsure whether or not it's wanted. Regardless, I feel I must atone for the awful behaviour I've exhibited in regards to both of you. If he is the key to your happiness in life I would be remiss to stand in the way. That's all I want for you: happiness. The fact that I've taken such petty measures to prevent it makes me feel disgusted with myself. I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me, Draco, because I truly am sorry.
There's a park nearby Potter's home. The weather is warming up, and I thought that it might be neutral ground enough for the both of us to feel comfortable. I'd like to see you and offer my apology in person. I will not beg you, but… I miss you.
-N.M.
By the end of the letter, Draco noticed that the words were beginning to blur and there were several damp splatters on the parchment. Reaching up to touch his face he realised that he was crying. He hadn't even noticed, it'd come on so slowly as he read. There was a strange numbness spreading through his limbs as the meaning of the words on the paper sank into his brain. She was sorry. His mother was sorry, and she wanted to see him. She was sorry.
For longer than he knew, Draco sat at the table and re-read the contents of his mother's apology, not quite able to believe that it was real. By the time Harry came downstairs and began making their nightly cup of tea he had managed to gather himself emotionally, but he still wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel in general.
"Are you alright?" Harry asked softly as he set the chamomile tea before him. The aromatic steam did wonders to bring Draco back to earth as it met his nostrils and he inhaled the scent deeply.
"I… don't know. Yes? I'm… confused." Great, and now he was beginning to sound like Harry: flustered and stumbling over his words and thoughts.
"What did she have to say? Do you want to talk about it?" Draco felt his mouth tilt down in a contemplative frown. He hadn't really been opening up with Harry much lately, about his father's letters either, and part of him felt obligated to do so. Although, another part of him wanted to keep everything bottled up until he could figure out what to think and feel about it. So much had been happening recently and he wasn't sure at all what was going on in his head. "If you don't, that's okay," Harry continued after Draco's lengthy silence.
"No, I do," he said hesitantly. "Well, not really, but I should, shouldn't I?"
"It's up to you, but I'll listen if you want to talk." Harry sipped his tea, frowned, then got up to grab some honey from one of the cabinets. It was a habitual thing with him; he'd make his tea, sip it, and decide it wasn't sweet enough. Why he didn't just put the proper amount of honey in at the start made little sense to Draco, but he never commented on it. In a way it brought a sense of domesticity to his life. He could list Harry's entire nightly routine by heart, should someone ask him. "So, is that a yes, or a no?" Harry asked, bringing Draco back to the present.
"She apologised," Draco began, deciding it would do no good to keep Harry in the dark about it. After all, she'd apologised to him too. "To both of us." He continued explaining the contents of the letter, not really wanting Harry to read it himself, though he couldn't say why.
"Are you going to meet her?" Harry asked slowly staring down into the contents of his cup.
"Is that what I should do?"
"Alright, this is getting weird," Harry said as he set his mug of tea down on the table and turned to look at Draco in concern. "I'm not the one who can make these decisions, Draco. You're always so sure of yourself, so confident. You always know what you want and don't want. What's making it so that you aren't those things anymore?" Draco was taken aback by Harry's confrontational tone and his blunt remarks. Was he being that way? He supposed he was. It didn't make Harry's words sting any less, though, even though Draco was pretty sure they weren't intended to be harsh.
"Well, you try going through all this shit and tell me how normal and confident you feel!" Harry sighed as Draco finished his retort.
"I'm not trying to be mean. Just… I'm going through these things with you, okay? When your mother wrote you out of the family inheritance I was right there with you. You didn't turn into a wishy-washy… weirdo back then. You still tried to get on with daily life. This is a good thing, Draco. Maybe now you can have some sort of relationship with your mum again. You've got your vaults back, so you're not forced to rely on me for money things. This is something we should be celebrating. Ever since you got that first letter from your father you've been acting strangely. What's he been saying to you?"
"He hasn't been saying anything, really, just that he misses me and he wants to know what's been going on in my life. I think he's living vicariously through me." Draco thought for a moment on his demeanor since he and his father had started talking and was struck by a realisation. "I think I know what it is."
"What what is?"
"He's in prison, Harry," he said, as though it were obvious, which it suddenly was.
"Alright… I know."
"Ugh." It was difficult to prevent the scoff aimed at Harry's obliviousness regardless of how poorly he was explaining himself. "I mean he's in prison and it's making me depressed hearing about his daily life. He never has a positive attitude when he writes and he sounds so miserable. I think he's rubbing off on me." That had to be it. Draco couldn't think of another reason behind his sullen attitude lately.
"Maybe you should stop writing to him as often," Harry suggested delicately. "It seems like it's really getting to you."
"You're probably right," he admitted with a heavy sigh. It wouldn't make his father happy for him to stop writing as frequently; he was his only means to the outside world, aside from Narcissa. She wasn't someone who typically went out and about much, if she was still the person Draco used to know, so she couldn't have much to offer besides gossip, and gossip tended to get old.
"So are you going to meet up with your mum?"
"I…"
"Draco. Really? You've been missing her like crazy lately and you've got a chance to see her again. If she's sorry and she wants to talk to you about what she's done and make up for it, it would be daft of you to pass this chance up."
"You don't know her like I do." Though Draco knew he was being childish, he couldn't prevent himself from defending his 'wishy-washiness.'
"Nope, you're right, I don't. But I know you, and I know you miss her. What are you afraid of?"
"What if she just tries to talk me out of seeing you again?"
"Does it sound like she's going to?"
"No, but—"
"And if she did, what would you do?"
"I would tell her it's not going to happen and I'd leave."
"And if she doesn't?"
"Then… I guess we'd just talk about things."
"There you have it," Harry said, clapping his hands together with finality and setting his palms down on either side of his mug. "Do you want to talk with her about things?"
"Yes, but—"
"Then you should. If you're nervous that she might try to pull something I can always go with you. I'm an Auror, remember? She'd be stupid to try anything with me there."
"She's not stupid," Draco said defensively, unable to kill his habit of protecting his mother at every turn. Even when she'd disowned him in the first place he hadn't wanted to hear people talk badly of her. It made Draco wonder if he was being respectful, or acting as a footpath turned human.
"I'm sure she's not. It's been scientifically proven that children get their intelligence from their mothers, and you're incredibly smart."
"Is that true?"
"Maybe, I don't know. It sounded good, though, didn't it? I think Molly said it a couple times. Anyway, I think this'll be a good thing. You need to talk to her. If you don't, you'll regret it. I know you will because, again, I know you."
"Alright. I'll do it," Draco said on a sigh. Of course Harry was right and he knew he'd just been prolonging the inevitable by debating whether or not he'd go in the first place. This was what he'd been longing for since his mother first wrote to him about repercussions and threats. He'd longed for this chance to talk to her and explain himself, to hear why she'd made such a snap decision like this. Maybe now he'd get that chance.
That night Draco wrote out a reply to his mother letting her know simply that he would be at the park on the next Tuesday. He and Harry decided that they'd use it as an excuse to get Teddy outside, too, since he'd been cooped up all winter. It wasn't nearly as cold as it had been in recent months and Harry could cast a mean warming charm if need be. When Draco had pointed out, however, that it might put Teddy at risk, should his mother try anything, Harry simply rolled his eyes. Draco knew he was being a coward, but he couldn't help but be wary of his mother's intentions. The letter felt genuine, but Narcissa was cunning.
Harry had pointed out that Narcissa hadn't gone through with her threats from her previous letter, so he wasn't worried at all that she was using this as a way to get them in a vulnerable position. If she did, she would hardly get away with it, Harry had also pointed out. By the time Draco went to bed that night he was a lot less scared, but just as nervous. Tuesday was the day after next, not very long at all. He wondered, as he drifted off, whether or not he would get his mother back. He wondered if she would finally accept him, as he'd hoped for so long she would. That night all dreams of long, endless corridors ceased. No ghostly women with long white hair standing at the end whispering cruel nothings in his ears. In fact, Draco was sure he hadn't dreamed at all, and he got probably the best night's sleep he'd had in months.
** This wizard is based off of a real person named Alan Turing. Turing "was an English computer scientist, mathematician, logician, cryptanalyst, philosopher, and theoretical biologist. Turing was highly influential in the development of theoretical computer science, providing a formalisation of the concepts of algorithm and computation with the Turing machine, which can be considered a model of a general purpose computer. Turing is widely considered to be the father of theoretical computer science and artificial intelligence."
"During the Second World War, Turing worked for the Government Code and Cypher School (GC&CS) at Bletchley Park, Britain's codebreaking centre that produced Ultra intelligence… Turing played a pivotal role in cracking intercepted coded messages that enabled the Allies to defeat the Nazis in many crucial engagements, including the Battle of the Atlantic, and in so doing helped win the war."
These quotes come from Wikipedia. Alan Turing died sixteen days before his 42nd birthday, only two years after he was arrested and convicted of homosexual acts. He was a real person, he was a man who underwent chemical castration because of the fact that he was gay. He was one of many who dealt with something like this, though his story is more well-known due to the accomplishments attached to his name.
We honour his memory in this chapter, though his name and the details have been changed. No disrespect is meant by this whatsoever. His name was changed to Benedict Dilexit for a specific reason. In Latin, bene didicit means well learned and dilexit means loved. It simultaneously pays tribute to him as a person and JK Rowling for her use of Latin in the books and the fact that many of her character names had dual meanings.
Michael Boothe, Henry Bright, Christopher Schliach, and William Dalziel were all real people as well and we honour their memories in this chapter, along with many other people in the LGBTQ+ community, who have lost their lives due to something they couldn't help, and which others couldn't understand. Hate crimes against the LGBTQ+ community still happen to this day. It's still a problem which needs to be addressed.
LGBTQ+ rights are something people are fighting for even today, and it's something that should be taken seriously, as we have a long way to go before true equality will be met. We hope that this chapter wasn't too heavy for you readers, but the fact of the matter is that this is a weighty topic of conversation. Even still, it's a conversation that must be had.
Some readers may have noticed the change in the wording of the 'muggle' Buggery Act when added to wizarding law as the Act Against Homosexual Concupiscence. The purpose of this is not to remove religion from the original law. It was merely changed because it is unclear as to whether wizards follow the same religions as muggles, despite the two biblical references in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (it could always be that Dumbledore was just well-read, perhaps from a muggle studies course). Our assumption, at least, is that magical government was not ruled by the church in the same way muggle government was at the time. Therefore, we decided to make the law more neutral and take the term 'God' out of the mix. Our apologies if this offends any of our readers.