6

Jess' home is warm and cozy, and it gives me the sense that I am completely safe.

The walls are pale and grey, giving me a protective shield to keep me away from any dangers that lurk outside. The sweet smell of flowers lurk into my nostrils, but it causes my eyes to water and my nose to twitch. I don't understand how an entity like me can have allergies. It makes no sense.

Still, as I let out squeaky sneezes and sniffles, Faith Denbrak pats me gently on the shoulder. She has given many of her facial features to her son; her round eyes are dark and smooth, her black hair puffy and wrapped into a long tail. She gives me a kind smile, and it causes a warm feeling in my stomach.

"Why are you still near these plants, hm?" she teases me. "You're allergic to them."

"I know." I sniffle, wiping tears from my eyes. My wounded throat is even worse with the rapidly growing rashes on my neck. "But they're so beautiful."

Faith laughs, putting a hand on my back and guiding me away from the pots of flowers. "I know that you think they're beautiful," she says. "But you should still stay away from them. Okay?"

"Fine," I reply, lightly smiling.

She smiles back. There's a beam of sunshine in her eyes, and she almost seems like some sort of goddess. I wouldn't be surprised if she was.

"Ormad," she then says, smile fading. "Have you visited Rudy yet?"

Slowly, my sheepish grin disappears as well. I shouldn't be worrying too much, I tell myself. Rudy wouldn't like that. Then another voice shoots back, And so what if Rudy doesn't like that? I need to care for her. She needs someone to worry for her.

"No," I admit. I look at the ground for a moment. Fatih's gaze of worry weighs down onto me. "I don't think I have the energy to."

The woman says nothing for a moment, trying to decipher the emotion that I'm struggling with. They all tangle me, wrapping around my throat and preventing me from saying what I really want to say. All I have to do is use the leftover enthusiasm from before and try to mold myself into it.

Faith sighs deeply. There is a softness in her voice when she speaks again. "Take your time, Ormad," she consoles me. "Rudy won't be going anywhere."

I glance at her, my gaze wavering. "I dearly hope not."

She gently squeezes my shoulder. "She won't. I promise," she says, voice trailing off as she finishes her sentence. "Now, I have to go cook up some food with Winsome. Get some rest, okay?"

"Okay."

Her hand and warmth leaves me, and she walks away into the kitchen.

I don't know what is it that attracts me to Faith. She's almost exactly like Jess, except a little bit more serious in terms of being a mother. It isn't anything romantic between us. I have left behind the idea of romance a long time ago. Plus, she already has a husband. There would be no point in trying to pry.

I suppose that it's because most human adults I've met in life are venomous. The children are far too innocent to be blamed for anything they may not know. I've seen criminals sprout out of their territories just to get something they don't need, but something that they really want. I think that one of those criminals were me.

Faith feels different, I tell myself, sauntering to the living room where all the children are chatting, resting on the couches and floor. Faith gives me . . . well, faith. She surely lives up to her name.

The children's voices die down when I step into the room. They don't seem afraid, but the worry from before continues to wriggle into their faces. Jess and Akilah wave shyly as if I will punish them for not greeting me. I simply muster up a smile, trying to hide my worries. Just think about ice cream. You liked the ice cream. Everybody else did, too.

"Do you know where my 3Ds is?" Jess asks. "I can't find it."

"We spent a really long time trying to find it," Akilah adds. "Brody and Elysse are trying to find it right now."

"Really?" I raise my brows. "Where are they?"

"In my room!" Jess answers. "They think it's in there. Where else would it be?"

I sigh, looking in the direction of the hallway. "Well, then I suppose I'll go and help." There isn't anything else I can do, anyway. I want to go back and talk to Faith or Winsome. Especially Faith. I so badly want to have a motherly figure in my life to watch over me.

"Thanks, Ormad!" Jess says.

As I back away into the darkness of the hallway, Jess and Akilah resume their conversation. Guiltily, I feel a pang of jealousy. Why aren't they paying more attention to me? My daughter is stabbed.

Then I jerk myself back into focus. No. Don't think about that. Distract yourself.

I turn to one of the many doors on my right, knocking on it with my bony fist. From the other side, a gritty voice - Brody - rings out. "Come in!"

I open the door and step into the room, the frustrating scent of petunias and lavender entering my nostrils. I feel my nose twitch, and I immediately bend over, letting out a squeaky sneeze. Goddamnit. I keep forgetting that Jess has flowers in his room. I do my best to stand up straight as a wave of itchiness washes over my face, my eyes beginning to water wildly.

Through the irritating tears, I see two blurry figures, both smaller than me. I growl to myself and wipe my eyes, grumbling, "God! How many damn flowers are in this house?"

"Uh, Mrs. Denbrak just got a new batch a few days ago," Brody replies. "I don't know why she got them. Sorry for that."

My cheeks are damp with tears as I sniffle and sneeze again. "Please tell her to stop . . ." I groan tiredly.

"Sorry," a different voice exclaims, dry and brittle. Elysse. "We didn't know that you were coming over . . ."

The blurry figures inch closer to me, and through irritated eyes, I discern the basic features of the pair. The taller one is Brody, with an angular pale face and a slick back mullet colored brown. The shorter one is Elysse, with a sharp chin and dull ginger hair. Both like the rest of the kids: immediately recognizable.

I manage with a scratchy voice, "I didn't know, either. I just- achoo!"

"Yeah, let's get out of the room," Brody ushers, moving past me to exit. Elysse looks up at me nervously before following, and I have no other choice but to tail behind them.

The pressuring itchiness finally leaves my face, and I let out a sigh of relief. I wipe away the remaining tears burning in my eyes. Brody and Elysse are in clear sight now, and, just like everybody else who talked to me today, they have looks of concern. I dearly hope that they don't bring up Rudy again.

Brody scrunches his nose, glancing at me with pale blue eyes. "Why'd you come? I thought you were sick."

"Sick?" I repeat. "I'm nothing close to sick." The lie is bitter on my tongue, like the alcohol from last night.

"Winsome said you were sick," Brody continues. "You're at least feeling better, right?"

No. "I suppose," I answer wearily. "I went out for ice cream. I liked that."

Elysse's jade-tinted eyes glimmer, small diamonds appearing in her pupils. "Really? I thought you didn't like eating anything."

I sigh, looking down. It is true. I never like eating anything, being an entity who didn't need to eat in the first place. But I only ate because Rudy always suggests me to. She wants to make me as happy as possible. Whatever sweet she wants me to try, I'll try it because she wants to hear my words on it, even when it's just a little candy. She seems happy when I try new things.

"I thought it would be refreshing," I answer reluctantly, that empty hole inside of me starting to open up again. "I thought it would wake me up."

"I mean, if you're happy after it, then that's cool," Brody says. "I just hope you're not really . . . like, super upset about what happened."

I stop myself from wincing, my fists clenching at my sides. This poor teenager didn't know the parasite of despair that was growing, eating me from the inside out. Distract yourself, I hiss. Distract yourself.

". . . I was. But I know that she's okay now." Again, the lie bites my tongue. "She's all right."

Brody isn't as gullible as Jess. He squints his eyes at me. I stare back, gaze as cold and hard as stone. But inside, I feel myself begin to crack like an egg. Don't think about her. She's completely fine.

Meanwhile, Elysse stays quiet, pretending not to notice my sudden grimness. She's a shy girl. One who's always afraid of saying something wrong. She plays with the strands of her hair, making them seem like the feathers of a phoenix. Though I want this conversation to end, I also want to invite her into it.

"I mean, okay." Brody shrugs. "But you don't have to cover up yourself. I'm okay talking about her. We can-"

"I'm fine," I force out. "It's okay."

From behind us, I hear Jess call, "Have you guys found my 3Ds yet?"

"No," Brody calls back. "We couldn't find anything."

"Aw."

Elysse mumbles, "But we found a stuffed animal . . ."

Brody blinks, furrowing his brow before realizing. "Oh yeah!" he exclaims. He strides into the living room. "We found Jaw-Jaw!"

I hear Jess gasp. "The alligator with the top hat and spectacles? You found him?" And that's when they begin to celebrate and ramble about stuffed animals and old toys.

A little bit of disappointment wriggles into my gut, a sick feeling twirling in my stomach. Loneliness grasps me again, even when Elysse is right at my side, awkwardly looking at the floor. She seems to be zoning out. I gently nudge her shoulder. "Are you okay, Elysse?"

She jumps from my cold touch, wide eyes darting up to look at me. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

Elysse blinks, taking some time to process my question and biting at her nails. "Yeah," she mutters. "I'm good." Like a twitching frog, she suddenly darts away from me, escaping my presence and leaving nothing but cold air around my arms. All the warmth inside of me turns to ice. Nobody wants to be around me.

Slowly, I amble to the edge of one of the pastel walls, peeking out from the darkness at the kids. I feel so suddenly mournful. Here I am. Without the courage to join them because of this stupid anxiety, the force that keeps me drowning in doubt. I shouldn't be feeling this. They're just kids. Then I remember, kids who are friends of Rudy. My head begins to ache, thinking that name over and over again. It's because you worry too much about her. Your little girl. That ache turns me dizzy as I force myself to lean on the wall.

The children's conversations turn to white noise. I watch them. Akilah and Jess are creating their own handshake, giggling and grinning childishly. Brody is listening to music on his red phone with his red earbuds and wearing his red jacket. Elysse looks over his shoulder to his screen, shyly curling up next to him. Like a big brother, he lets her wear one of his earbuds, and they listen together.

Brody is the oldest of the kids, peaking at the age of sixteen. He's the tallest of the kids as well. His psychic ability is almost like having the invisible eye, one that allows him to see creatures that nobody else can see. Creatures from the Ri Verse, a different dimension from here. He's a tough kid, one with a bit of snark every now and then. He used to be one of the teens who picked on Rudy, Jess and Akilah before they all met me. Then through some convincing, he turned sides. Now he's like an older sibling to everybody.

Elysse came in a little bit later. She used to be a weary child, having only getting freetime because her abusive mother let her roam outside to see and talk to ghosts near the Em Auri church. Her mother never cared about her. Elysse was almost as fragile as paper. Someone could tear her piece by piece and she wouldn't be able to do anything at all. She wasn't even close to being safe.

But now, as Brody wraps a protective arm around her shoulders, I can tell that she is in a very special place.

"Hey Maddy." A hand taps me on the shoulder, and as I crane my neck around, Winsome's face comes into view. He softly smiles. My mouth stays in a grim line.

"You feelin' better?" he asks.

"Yes," I grumble, rolling my eyes sarcastically. "Of course. Everybody asked me that. So of course I'm supposed to be fine."

Winsome's smile droops. It's almost as if he has become a watercolor painting; when the paint is mixed at the right places, he can be outstanding. But a little mistake, like adding too much water or brushing paint in the right place, can mess it all up. All his colors seem to be mixing.

"Don't pressure yourself into that mindset, seńor," Winsome consoles. "You can be upset if you wanna be."

I can't help but scoff. Nobody understands me. "I'm not the one pressuring myself. It seems like everybody else is."

"How?"

"They're all pretending," I mutter. "It's like Rudy doesn't even exist."

Winsome's bright lips curl into a frown. He darts a quick glance at the laughing children on the couch and floor before looking back at me, his jaw clenching. "Maddy, you know they're just kids. They didn't forget about Rudy. Nobody can forget about Rudy!" He laughs nervously. "She's a good kid."

I sharpen my gaze into a glare. "If she's a good kid, then why is everybody not paying attention to her current state? She's in the goddamn hospital. I had her blood all over me yesterday afternoon. Why isn't anybody talking about that?"

"Well, erm . . ." Winsome looks to the side, slowly shrugging. "It's because we're kinda scared to bring up the topic." It sounds more like a questioning statement than a solid fact. "We don't wanna upset anybody."

"So we're just going to ignore her?"

"Look, Maddy, I'm not gonna stand here and talk to you about this." Winsome sighs. "I don't wanna get into an argument." He raises a hand and brings it to my shoulder, only thinking better of it and drawing it away. "I don't want any tension between us. Especially when tonight's supposed to be . . . you know, happy. Can ya try and relax? I want you to relax."

Relax? That word almost makes me laugh. I can feel the nape of my neck beginning to grow hot. There isn't any such thing as time to relax when my daughter's in the fucking hospital! What the hell is up with everybody?

I scoff again, this time louder and more brashly. I harden my glare until it's cold ice, right through Winsome's fragile face. But then I look closer; his eyes droop like teardrops, and his smile is now a worn-out frown. Slowly, my expression softens, my temper's claws slowly letting go of my shoulders.

"I- fine. Okay. I'll-" I take a deep breath, exhaling heavily. The anger leaves me. The exhaustion returns. "I'll try to. I can't guarantee. But . . . I'll try."

Winsome's dewey eyes widen in surprise. His lips form soundless words. Breathlessly, he nods, forcing a small smile. I wonder how many times he has pushed himself to feign his emotions, just for me.

"Good." He pats me on the shoulder hesitantly before slinking away, keeping his eyes off of my face. "I'm proud of you for trying."

When he disappears, his words become dull. Numb. I'm proud of you. I don't know if he means it or not.

Something deep inside of me tells me that there's no use pondering about that now.

The scents of roasting meat and lemony broccoli dance around the dinner table. Right in front of me is an empty plate, one that won't be stacked with food anytime soon. Everybody else is already beginning their conversations, leaving me out.

I stare gloomily into the empty air as Faith takes a seat next to me, the one that someone else is supposed to sit in. The atmosphere around me is supposed to be comforting. Welcoming. But instead I feel like I'm sinking deeper and deeper into the floor, nobody noticing me as I disappear.

Then they begin to talk again. Talking, talking, talking. That's all they do. I'm silent. I stare at the many colorful foods displayed before me. Mashed potatoes, broccoli, steak . . . everything that she would like. She likes to eat just about anything. She wouldn't be joining the conversation. She'd be wolfing her meal down instead. And then I'd have to tell her to not talk with her mouth full when she did want to join the conversation like the heedful father I am.

My stomach hurts.

The only ones who are doing so much as casting me glances are Winsome, Faith and Brody. Winsome and Faith I can understand, however Brody I cannot help but feel puzzled about. The boy cares about me just as much as everyone else, but we don't speak deeply about each other. We don't reveal our inner emotions. I can't blame him. He's just a kid. But I don't know why he's deciding to pay attention to me instead of his friends.

I catch his eye for a moment, and we stare. He holds his fork like he's about to tear me open and see what emotions I'm trying to hide. But he blinks, and we break contact.

At the same time, a warm hand brushes against my leg, and I wearily turn to see who it belongs to. As expected, the owner is Faith. "Do you not want to eat?" she asks quietly, shadowing herself underneath the chatter of the children.

Something deep inside of me suspects that she wants me to leave. Then I shake it off. No, Faith wouldn't want that, would she? "I don't know," I reply.

"Join us, honey. I don't want you to feel left out. Have some." She gestures toward the food on the table.

Little does Faith know, she has already hit me in a raw wound. I know she is trying to comfort me, but the words crawl into my ears as forms of mockery. Still, my shoulders droop, and I let out a quiet sigh. "Thank you," I mutter.

I outstretch an arm and take some of the sourly scented broccoli, scooping some mashed potatoes as well. I don't have an appetite. I have a feeling that if I were to eat right now, everything would taste the same: bland, boring, unchanging. But at least I'm doing the same thing as everyone else.

"Do you want any steak?" Faith asks. I shake my head, and she leaves me alone.

From across the table, Brody and Winsome eye me again. Winsome gives me a patient smile before turning back to his plate, but Brody stares as if he's in a daze. His eyes are like cold rock. I don't have the energy to discover what he wants.

"Mom," Jess says, "why are Beatrix and Dad not home yet?'

"Beatrix is staying at your dad's workplace again," Faith responds. She gestures for Elysse to hand over her plate so that she can properly cut her steak. Elysse awkwardly tenses up with an embarrassed look on her face, her hand uncomfortably gripped around her knife. "She wants to help him with extra files and stuff like that."

"Again?" Jess frowns. "But we're having such a good dinner . . . maybe you can call them over! You know, before all the food is gone."

"I made plenty of food. There will definitely be leftovers for them to have tomorrow."

"Aw. Okay."

Akilah clinks her plate with the prongs of her fork, humming to herself. Then she looks up. "Could I have some more pop?"

"Sure thing, sweetheart." Faith hands one of the giant bottles of pop to Akilah, letting her pour the drink in herself. "Does anybody else want to drink anything?"

I want to drink alcohol and forget everything that happened today. "No," I mutter along with everybody else around me. I can barely hear my own voice. I don't try to make it heard.

"Thanks for the dinner, Mrs. Denbrak," Brody says, loudly crunching broccoli. "It's much better than the food at school."

Jess laughs. "Of course it is. School food is yucky."

"It really is," Akilah agrees. "The only thing I like there is the chips and salsa. Sometimes they have cheese to dip it in, too."

"And bean dip!" Jess adds.

"Really?" Brody lets out a snicker, lips forming a mischievous grin. "The bean dip doesn't even look like it's made outta beans. It looks like a lump of shit."

Upon hearing his profanity, Winsome snorts and avoids his gaze, looking elsewhere. Faith gives Brody a motherly frown. "No swearing at the dinner table, Brody. Even if it's not your own."

The kids continue to snicker and giggle amongst themselves, Winsome giving me a humorous glance. I glumly glare at him. Of course all the kids get all the attention. All the kids that are here, at least. Nobody will really pay attention to her unless something terrible and devastating happens to her. And I won't be there to mourn with them because I'll be laying in bed all day, crying my emptiness away.

I suddenly feel salty and bitter, and I force myself to swallow a bite of mashed potatoes. It tastes bland and blank, just like me.

The table is silent again, aside from the children whispering things to each other about school homework and projects. Winsome joins in on them, asking if they need any supplies, Faith following after him. Brody's eyes are on me again. This time, I force a glare onto him, pressuring him to dart his gaze away. But I know that when I pull my own gaze from him, he digs into my space once more.

Faith clears her throat. "So, Elysse. How are you doing with your new family?"

The redheaded girl jolts up as if she has been electrocuted. Her eyes dart around the table for a moment before finally resting on Faith, but she looks past the woman's shoulder instead of making direct eye contact. She slowly shrugs. "It's nice. They're much better than how my mom was . . ."

Faith nods patiently, used to the girl's slow speech and introverted manners. "That's good. They're very lucky to have such a sweet girl like you."

Elysse's lips perk up into a timidly petite smile. She looks down, letting her hair cover her face. From my angle, I see her fidget with her pale hands. "Thank you," she mumbles. Then everything is quiet again.

I know what we all want to talk about. I know who we all want to talk about. I look up from my food to the faces around me. Faith locks eyes with mine. She pats me on the leg again, sighing quietly to herself. I turn and look at Winsome, who gives me a squiggly grin that seems to be hiding more than expected. I can just feel it. There's a weak but noticeable aura of negativity in the air, stringing from all of us. It trails from Faith the least, but everybody else, especially Brody, has it clear as glass. I would feed off of it if it wouldn't hurt them in the process. I need something to quench this sick ache inside of me.

After what seems forever, Jess finally cracks the ice. "I hope Rudy gets better."

Everybody tenses up. Winsome's hands clench to fists on the edge of the table as Akilah messes with the fabric of her hijab, trying to shape it into whatever will make her feel more comfortable. Jess' eyes dart towards me innocently, and Elysse looks away completely. Only Brody doesn't seem to be making an exaggerated reaction; he only swallows a lump down his throat, and Faith doesn't do anything out of the ordinary.

"She will, sweetheart," Faith says. "She's a strong girl with a strong mind. She will get out of it."

"Yeah," Brody agrees reluctantly, pushing a piece of broccoli around his plate with his fork. "She's good."

Unlike before, I listen intently, aiming to see what they say about Rudy, my daughter. They haven't spoken about her all day. Why now?

"We should get her a gift or somethin," Winsome exclaims through a mouthful of potatoes. "There's a gift shop in the hospital she's in. The lil' rat is gonna at least gonna get something while she's recovering."

"Perhaps I'll pick out a nice card for her," I add, suddenly feeling a rush of energy. "I've never been in a gift shop in a hospital before, but-"

"Ah, no need, seńor." Winsome waves a hand frantically. "I'll get it for her. Then you can write in it and I'll give it to her."

I furrow my brow, sternly looking at him. "That . . . does not make any sense." But then again, when does a demonic clown like Winsome make sense at all? "I don't know why you came up with that. I'll be the one getting the card and writing in it and giving it to her."

Winsome licks his colorful lips, frowning. "Ya sure?"

"Of course I am," I reply slowly. Is this some sort of joke? When we're talking about Rudy? "Why wouldn't I be? Besides, I think it's time for me to visit her instead of sulking around all day by myself."

"Oh." He blinks, plump eyelashes seeming suddenly heavy. "Okay, but . . . I don't want ya to stress yourself out."

"I'm not going to go bizarre upon seeing her like that, Winsome," I mutter. "I know how to control myself."

"Yeah, I know, seńor. Good luck with that."

I narrow my eyes at him, then at everybody else for staying silent.

Faith clears her throat. "Well, Ormad, I know for a fact that she'll be very happy to see you." She beams at me kindly, a motherly fashion suited into her smile. "And you'll be very happy to see her."

"I will be more than happy," I reply. "Overjoyed."

"Yeah, overjoyed," Brody repeats, mumbling underneath his breath so that only a few of us can hear him. There is a touch of sarcasm to his voice.

My frown deepens slightly. The negative aura in the air strengthens, now coming from Brody. I resist the urge to suck it all in.

Jess worriedly darts his eyes back and forth. "Hey, we should tell her about the homework when she gets back!"

Faith nods. "Definitely. We wouldn't want her to miss out. Though I'm sure she'll have a good excuse to go by. She literally got stabbed, for goodness sake."

The image of her lying on the gr- no. Don't think about that. "Oh, poor Rudy," I sigh. "I hope she won't be all that behind when she gets back."

"She won't be," Akilah quickly says. "There isn't much homework, anyway. Just a study guide for a test."

Brody scoffs quietly. "Yeah. Just a 'test'."

"It's an easy test that she won't have any trouble with," Elysse mutters. "She might not even get to do it . . ."

Winsome plays with his food glumly, even a bit irritatingly. "Oh, she'll definitely do it. She recovers fast. A good kid, she is."

I stare at him, puzzled. Everybody sounds so distant, like they're moments away from descending into the sky. "Yes," I say slowly. "She is." I look back down at my food, and everybody but Faith seems to stay as still as me.

"And she's a smart one, too," Faith adds. She sighs to herself, cutting more steak and poking the red meat with the end of her knife. "I just hope she wakes up from her coma soon."

Clang! My fork slips from my hand, slamming into the edge of my plate. Her words ring into my head. Coma. I stare at my plate, frozen with wide eyes and cold, trembling fingers. Coma.

Comatose. Rudy is in comatose.

I feel the room suddenly close in on me, its walls wrapping around my body and suffocating my words. It's as if I am dropping into a coma myself. Reality is gripping to me on one wrist and the horrors of my mind is are trying to pull me from it. Rudy is in comatose. Comatose. That sick, nauseous feeling in my stomach launches back, more stronger than before. It blinds me.

"Ormad?" Faith pats me on the arm. "Are you alright?"

"What the fuck," I whisper. "Rudy is . . ." I roll my eyes up to the faces surrounding me, feeling their guilt seep into me. "She's . . ."

Winsome blows a nervous raspberry. "Nah, she isn't! She's just not in that good of a state, that's all!"

"Don't lie to him, Winsome," Faith replies sternly. "Did nobody tell him about this?"

Jess and Akilah give each other an anxious glance, and Elysse simply looks down into her lap, disappearing from the suddenly frantic conversation. I hear Brody mumble something bitter underneath his breath.

"No," Winsome answers. His joyous tone shakes, spinning like a carousel. "I think we just forgot to, seńorita! I don't think it's-"

"You fucking lied to me," I snap.

"Ormad, I think you're just a bit shocked from-"

"You fucking lied to me." I feel my teeth grind together, my thoughts clouding into a storm. "What now, hm? You told the kids to lie, too? Is that what you did?"

Winsome stays silent, pursing his lips and gulping. The welcoming aura no longer floats around the table, for the tension in the air has torn it apart. I can feel my anger beginning to burn and dance inside my chest as I seethe. Nobody should lie to me. Especially when the lie is about Rudy.

"Well . . ." The clown bites his lip. ". . . we didn't want to make you upset."

"What the hell do you mean?"

"You're underneath tons of stress, Ormad, I- we don't want to break you or anything-"

"By lying to me?" My knuckles crack as I clench my fists, nails digging into my palms. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Faith puts a gentle hand on my wrist. "I don't want you all to get into a fight. Especially in my house." She squeezes my wrist, warmth seeping into me and fueling my rage. Let go of me, Faith. Let go. "Winsome, why did you tell the kids to lie to Ormad about this?"

"I already said, seńorita, I- we don't want Ormad to be even more stressed out than he already is, I-"

"I said I know how to control myself, Winsome," I snap. Comatose. Comatose. Comatose.

Winsome cringes, furrowing his brow. "I know, Ormad. But-"

"Why the hell would you even come up with that, huh? I'm not crazy!"

"I know, but-"

"I just want to know about Rudy, why won't you let me see her?"

"I-"

"Why would you come up with that?!"

"It wasn't him."

The voice pops out of nowhere, my attention wavering. The voice is gritty, young and tough. I turn my head, and right down the center, across from me, is Brody. He plays with his food as if all of this means nothing, sighing.

"What?" I snap.

"It wasn't him who came up with it," Brody repeats, rolling his eyes. "It was me."

I swear I can feel a vein beginning to pulse in my neck, my throat becoming dry and sore. My scars tingle, running up my arms and legs. There's one that beats right in the center of my chest. Blood begins to pound in my ears, my temper struggling to stay intact as the children around me watch intently. I hate going through this shit.

Faith frowns. "Brody?"

"I'm the one who made up the lie. Can we go back to eating now?" Brody huffs. "I'm tired."

Jess begins to fidget, rubbing his thumb up and down his fork. "Yeah, l-let's just go back to eating . . ."

"Ormad, he's just a kid, let's leave him alone-" Winsome begins.

"And so what if he's a kid?" I snarl coldly. "There's no reason to excuse him because he's a kid. Because the little shit doesn't seem to care at all of what's going on, anyway."

"Ormad!" Faith hisses.

Brody scoffs. "Look, I'm just a bit upset because all you do is talk about Rudy. All the time, everyday. It's like the rest of us don't even exist."

"What the hell do you mean?" I shoot back. "She got stabbed. How am I not supposed to talk about her? I love her!"

"Yeah, yeah, we get it," Brody sneers. "You love Rudy. You always love Rudy, and you don't love anybody else. She can do something so small and so little and you'd still applaud her even when she did basically nothing."

My teeth gnash together, tongue becoming bitter and hot. What a fucking brat. I'm going to lose myself. "I do love her," I retort. "And I appreciate what she does. But I don't ignore anybody."

"Yes you do!" Brody throws his fork onto his plate in anger with a clink! Everybody around us flinches from the sound. "You always ignore everybody else! Rudy's the only one who's really important to you and you just freak out when she only gets a little bit hurt! But what about me? Wh- What about Elysse and her new family, huh? And what about me? And Akilah, and-"

"I don't ignore any of you! I love you all!"

"Enough!" Faith suddenly shouts. "Enough! No more arguing about this. Both of you zip your mouths shut!"

I silently fume and clench my jaw so tightly that I feel like my teeth are about to snap to bits. If not for Faith and everybody else here, I would be breaking everything in my sight. Anything that could make a loud, crunching sound that reminds me of my own skin and spine.

Brody lets out a loud huff, and Faith gently pats my leg again in a maternal fashion. Slowly, I look around at the rest of the children's faces. They all have wide eyes and scrunched shoulders, most of them looking away or directly at me. I have lost most of my composure to barely even care. Then I inhale deeply and exhale the same way. I don't want to be here anymore.

"You shouldn't be bashing him for that, Brody," Faith scolds. "Don't say anything like that to him ever again."

Brody rolls his eyes, shoving his chin onto his fist. "Pshht. I wouldn't be saying anything if he weren't so obsessed with Rudy."

Thud! My bony fists drop onto the table, angry veins running through my fingers and wrists. I veer up from my seat with clenched teeth and wide, raging eyes, directly into Brody's pale face.

"Obsessed?!" I repeat. "Obsessed?! What do you mean by obsessed?! My daughter got stabbed! She could have died! She could have died! I'm not overreacting because I'm her father! I love her!"

"Ormad, sit down-" Faith interrupts.

"You're a little shit, you know that?" I bark at Brody, glaring directly into his fearful blue eyes. "It's almost like you're not even human! All of a sudden you think you can snap in my face and say that I'm giving more attention to Rudy than everybody else? Of course I am! She's in the hospital! The fucking hospital! And now she's in a coma because you lied to me!"

My fingers crumple the thin napkins on the table, wrinkling them into horrific mutations of paper. "All you want is attention. All you want is attention! You just want to wait until something bad happens, don't you? And then afterwards you'll burst in and complain about all of it! Why? Is it because you can't be the one? Is it because you can't be in the hospital for people to mourn for you? Do you want to be stabbed? Do you want to be in a coma and never wake up? I can't tell sometimes because of that stupid expression on your face!

"What do you want from me? Do- Do you want me to serve you? Do you want me to worship your feet? You're so- You're so damn selfish!"

The rumbling intensity of my voice raises to a scream, waves of exasperated volume launching to the boy at the other end of the table. He gawks at me, his face having turned a skull-white and his throat bobbing while he flinches and winces from my sharp words. But it is merely impossible for me to notice, for I have fully snapped.

"I'm sure you sometimes wish Rudy wasn't my daughter," I hiss. "And I know you definitely wish that you have never met me because all I ever do is talk about her. And you know what? Sometimes I wish that you never became her friend." I slam the table again. "You think you're so royal. But you can barely do anything that everybody wants you to do. Why can't you greet people kindly? Why can't you mind your own business? Maybe if you could just bring yourself to do anything else except complaining, I wouldn't be so disappointed in you!"

My voice crackles like flaming fire, burning wood until it's all charred and rotted. Blood is pumping in my ears like a raging chant. Everybody around me is staring, Brody's eyes widened to the size of saucers and his face a ghostly color.

But there isn't any guilt in my gut yet. The kid deserves those words. I don't take anything back from it. He's the one who irked me in the first place, anyway.

"I'm leaving," I suddenly announce through clenched teeth.

Faith, breathless, shakes her head and tries to reach out and touch me. "No, Ormad, wait-"

I sharply glare at her, and she freezes. Then she flinches and lowers her hand, slowly nodding with a script of concern written across her face.

I storm out of the room and out of the house, slamming the door shut behind me as the cold air greets my flaming hot temper. The brief image of Rudy bleeding on the kitchen floor erases from my mind, only to be replaced with her lying unconscious on the hospital bed, her eyes closed in a hauntingly angelic way.

She's never waking up.