Author's Note: Some ppl complained about this, but FUCK YOU CRITICS! Cept I changed how to spell Legolass,s name. A.J. out.

How the 7th book, the 3rd book, the 4th book, and the last issue of Captain Planet episode should have happened.

Harry was seventeen today.

He woke up and said, "Screw you Uncle Vernon! I'm moving out!"

Disobeying Dumbledore's last wishes to stay at the Dursleys, Harry grabbed all his stuff and went over to his best friend AJ's house.

AJ was a muggle but he was so awesome and badass. Harry always kind of liked AJ as more than a friend. After sending all his stuff to Hogwarts with magic, Harry strutted his stuff over to AJs door and AJ opens it naked except for a sweet Dr. Seuss hat over his genitals.

"Woah," Harry says. "Nice hat."

AJ says, "Nice ass, wanna try my hat on."

Harry smiled suggestively and looked over AJ's shoulders to see Edward Cullen playing video games.

"Where's Legoless," He asked.

"Oh you mean Legoass? He's upstairs taking a shower with Captain Planet. COME inside." AJ talked.

Harry stepped over the threshold and smelt cookies.

"ooo smells nice."

"yeah." AJ said. "that bitch made cookies."

"You mean your mom?" Edward said from the couch.

"Yeah and she just left so we can party…with each other!"

"Tight!" Legoass said coming down the stairs in a towel.

"You mean tight asshole." Captain planet said COMING down as well naked, except for a glove on his penis.

"Why is everyone wearing shit on their cocks?" Harry asked.

"Jesus told us to!" Legoass barked.

"Let's stop barking at each other and start biting each other!" Edward thrusted out loud from his mouth..

"Wait, not yet," Captain Planet said. "We were about to finish that movie we started earlier and we stopped it right at the climax too!"

"It's okay I'll give you all a new climax to reach!" AJ ejaculated.

"It's too bad Dumbledore died, I heard he ended up being gay." Captain Planet said without thinking.

Everyone was silent and Harry bowed his head and his dick followed suit.

"It is too bad."

"I know!" AJ talked out loud suddenly. "let's have an orgy in Dumbledore's memory."

"Sounds great!" Legoass said. "I have a blow up doll upstairs that me and Planet were using earlier, let's dress it up as Dumbledore and take turns going at it…and at each other."

Without wasting anytime AJ ran upstairs to grab his stereo. He put on some Gunther… The Ding Dong song. They were all ready now.

Legoass looked and everyone and said, "YALL WANT DIS SHIT HURR!"

Everyone took off their sock puppets that before had been resting on their long hard cocks.

Legoass bent forward and spread his cheeks, shooting feces out at heroic, fire hose-pressured speed. The shit went all over the cookies.

"Perfect!" Harry said, wiping shit from his mouth so he could speak. "this is the topping I was looking for." He grabbed one and licked it then shoved it up Edwards asshole.

Edward coughed up bits of cookies. AJ bent down and licked them off the floor.

"Woah!" Edward whimpered. "How did you get your hand so far up my ass?"

"Years of practicing, Cho loved that shit." Harry grinned satisfied. "The stupid bitch."

"YEAH!" Captain Planet shouted, pouring his tidal wave of seamen onto the floor. "I'm so damn excited!"

AJ was hot and sexy.

"Let's play fill the holes on Harry!" Harry yelled bending over and letting everyone have their way with him, just like he liked it like that liking it immensely.

Edward took the ass, AJ filled his nostrils alternating between the two, luckily there was a reparo spell Harry could later use. Captain Planet took Harry's mouth. Legoass took Harry's belly button mmm he loved the belly button.

Harry CAME!!!!!!!!!!