Author's note/disclaimer: I do not, under any circumstances, advocate smoking.
"Oh, fuck this!" James slammed his text book shut and shoved his chair back from the desk. It was 2am, and surprisingly energy drinks and chocolate couldn't sustain a heavy-duty study session. Pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes James groaned in frustration. "I feel like I haven't slept in 3 days," he murmured to himself. He glanced at the calendar hanging next to his work station. "I haven't slept in 3 days."
Muttering angrily about "shitty exams" and "stupid shitty revision" James stormed across his flat, snatching a packet of cigarettes off the coffee table on his way out. He knew his mother would be disappointed in him for smoking, and he mentally cringed at the bollocking he would get if she ever found out, but he shook the thought away with a jerk. He wasn't a regular smoker, casual if that, and besides they weren't even his, he reasoned with himself, Sirius had left them there the other night so if his mother was going to be mad at him for anything, it should be petty thievery.
More worked up now than before he yanked open the balcony doors and let loose a shaky breath as the cool night air washed over him. He heard a surprised squeak from Lily's balcony and opened his eyes to find his neighbour standing stock still, staring at him like a deer caught in headlights; an unlit cigarette between her lips, lighter poised and ready. They stared at each other for a moment as Lily slowly pulled the lighter down and smiled awkwardly at him.
"Hey, Potter-" Lily tried, and failed, to stealthily hide the cigarette behind her back "-how's your evening going?"
"If the shame smoking is anything to go off, I'd say just as bad as yours," James said, stepping up to the railings and bracing himself against them. "Didn't know you smoked."
"I don't." James raised an unconvinced eyebrow. Lily rolled her eyes and shrugged, "Marlene said it might help with the stress." He tilted his head to one side.
"Exams, huh?" something snapped and Lily's shoulders sagged in defeat. James watched with concern as she raked a hand down her face.
"I just can't deal with them," she huffed, locking eyes with James in desperation. "I'm working my backside off every day and it's still not enough!"
"Tell me about it" he muttered, unconsciously running a nervous hand through his hair.
"It's like, I've set up a really nice space in my flat so that I can settle down and do my work productively," she continued, gesturing wildly as she began pacing the length of the balcony. "It's all tidy and organised, with lots of pretty highlighters, pens, room for all my notebooks and folders, a little plant to keep me company; I've even got a portable kettle set up with an array of tea bags and coffee, even the biscuit tin has made its way over from the kitchen!"
"Wow. That's actually pretty impressive, Evans."
"Yeah, but nothing's fucking going in!" James blinked in shock at the outburst as Lily slumped forward over the railing, apparently spent from her enthusiastic ranting.
James noticed how cool the night was getting as he focussed on the rise and fall of Lily's breath. He wouldn't admit it aloud, but he was scared she may topple over the banister and plunge to her death by accident if she remained where she was much longer.
Stretching his arms above his head to remove the tension in his shoulders he groaned, laughing when Lily responded in kind as she unfurled herself.
"I think it's time to light up that cigarette now, don't you?"
"I think it's time to light up that cigarette now, don't you?"
Lily looked up, locking eyes with her amused neighbour and she couldn't help but let a small smile play on her lips.
'He actually looks kind of cute when he smiles like that,' she thought and then panicked, trying desperately to keep her face from giving her thoughts away. 'No, not cute. Potter is not cute…this is the exam stress talking.'
"Evans?" Lily snapped back to reality as James waved his hand in front of her face, chuckling. "Woah, you really are stressed, aren't you?"
"Oh, shut up and smoke with me, Potter," she said, rolling her eyes.
"It would be a pleasure, ma'am." He bowed mockingly and smiled as his neighbour shook her head in bemusement. "What's got you so worked up anyway? I thought you were one of the most organised and calm people during exam season?"
"Ahh, Potter," she sighed, clicking of the lighter a few times to coax out a flame, "there's a big difference between being organised and being calm."
James eyed her curiously, holding his own, unlit cigarette between his lips.
"You can have your whole life planned out, and know exactly what's going to happen and when, but that doesn't necessarily stop the panic when that event finally arrives," she said, leaning forwards on the railing, cigarette dangling from her dainty fingers. "Take my current situation, for example: I've had my revision timetable for these exams set up for months now. I've been preparing myself since the start of the term and I've aced around ninety-five percent of all tests I've taken this year, so I know I'm not going to fail." Lily glared at her hand, frustration shadowing her face. "But here I am. Stressed out of my arse and, as a result, unable to retain what should be common knowledge to me now and am scared of flunking my first year of University, all because I have such high expectations of myself and put so much pressure on myself that I am convinced that if I get any less than one hundred percent I'm going to be seen as a failure."
James regarded the woman in front of him with confusion. For as long as he'd known Lily, she had always been headstrong and knew exactly what she wanted and how she was going to get there. And yet here she was in pieces over her exams, stress smoking and spilling some of her darkest secrets to him at 2am.
Least to say, he was more than a little bit surprised.
"I kind of get where you're coming from, Evans." He lit his cigarette with the same relaxed attitude he'd seen Sirius adopt when he smoked, although he was pretty sure he looked like more of a douchebag than his best mate did.
Lily looked at him in surprise, one doubtful eyebrow raised.
"You do?" the scepticism in her voice was clear, but not offensive.
"Well, not to the same extent, but despite my 'I don't give a fuck' attitude, I'm shitting bricks. I don't want this past year to have all been for nothing, you know? So yeah, I do understand where you're coming from. Although personally I think you've got nothing to worry about. But that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to be worried. So, if you ever need to let off some steam, curse the world out or whatever, just give me a shout."
Lily smiled softly. It was nice to have someone accept that she was having a hard time, and offer some support and friendship, rather than tell her to stop worrying because she's 'going to get a first anyway.' As much as she loved Alice and Marleen, it frustrated her how dismissive they could be.
"I will do, Potter, and thanks."
"Nah, don't mention it. Seriously. I can't have people knowing that there's a kind hearted softie behind my bad boy image."
Lily laughed as she brought her cigarette up to her lips, she never thought she'd touch a smoke in her life, but at this point she didn't care, she was too high strung to be stuck up about it. She took a drag and almost instantly her eyes began to water and she coughed violently, looking rather undignified as she fought desperately to get the horrific taste out of her mouth.
"Jesus fuck," she spluttered, stamping out the cigarette under her foot, "that's bloody disgusting!"
Meanwhile, James was absolutely beside himself, naturally having found her entire reaction hilarious, yet not completely un-expected. Lily glared at the boy opposite her, arms folded over her chest, still wheezing and regretting ever listening to Marleen in the first place.
"Ok, it really wasn't that funny," she muttered, rolling her eyes as James drew a deep breath and calmed himself down.
"To be honest, Evans, it kinda was," he said with a cheeky wink, which prompted a second eye-roll from his neighbour.
He was still chuckling to himself as he took a drag of his own cigarette, his eyes locked on Lily's green ones, and in that moment he choked. Quite literally. He spluttered and coughed in a similarly violent fashion to Lily and couldn't help but laugh though the pain when he saw her sniggering into her hand.
"I take it you don't really smoke either," she said lightly when he'd finally finished coughing, her eyes glinting with mischief. James shook his head and smiled widely, following Lily's lead and stubbing out his cigarette on the cold balcony railings.
"How could you tell? I thought I put on a rather convincing performance."
"Of how one dies of asphyxiation maybe," she laughed.
"That cuts me deep, Evans. Truly pains me," he said, pouting dramatically and placing a hand over his heart. Lily just shook her head and smiled, stretching her arms over her head, groaning slightly at the release of tension in her back and clapped her hands together with a sense of finality.
"Well," she said, "considering the success of our stress smoking, I say we find another way to relax."
James couldn't help it, his ears pricked up at that, there was something mildly suggestive about the comment and he couldn't stop that tiny part of himself that was attracted to Lily Evans from getting a little bit excited. 'Woah, calm down there, James,' he told himself and prayed that his thoughts hadn't shown on his face.
"What did you have in mind?" He tried to remain casual, leaning forwards on his forearms and raising an eyebrow, but he couldn't help the little smirk that twitched on his lips and mentally cursed himself as Lily scowled at him.
"Sleep." She deadpanned, placing her hands on her hips and staring pointedly at her neighbour. James had the audacity to look sheepish. "You look like the walking dead."
"Ok now that's only slightly rude, I thought your parents raised you better than this, Evans."
"Oh shut up, Potter, you know what I mean. I know for a fact you haven't slept in 3 days and would benefit massively from some sleep right about now."
"How do you know that?"
"Because I haven't either. I'm fucking shattered and on the verge of a mental breakdown so can tell a sleep deprived soul when I see one."
"Ok that's fair."
"Also you haven't turned your lamp off in three days and I keep hearing the occasional yell of 'fuck off you piece of shit' coming from your flat." James nodded understandingly.
"Ah…that makes more sense."
Lily considered her neighbour kindly; he was still nodding and the motion was causing his eyes to flutter shut, he looked quite adorable. 'So that's what the phrase 'Nodding Off' means,' she thought, resting her chin in her hand.
"Get some sleep, Potter," she whispered softly. James' bleary eyes met hers and he shot her a sleepy grin.
"Will do boss," he said with a mock salute. "Good night Evans, and remember, if you ever need someone to rant to, I'm just across the way."
"I'll remember. Good night Potter."
And with that Lily made her way back inside, closing the doors behind her. She waved at James one last time before closing the curtains. James kept his eyes fixed on the locked doors a moment longer, until he saw the light behind the curtains vanish and he knew Lily was actually going to bed. He yawned widely, suddenly hit with a wave of tiredness which he was sure was influenced by Lily's dulcet tones.
'She could be a witch that woman,' he thought as he made his own way back inside and locked up, turning off the lights as he made his way through into his bedroom, 'and if she were, she'd be the queen of sleeping draughts.' He pondered on this idea for a while, probably much longer than he would have if he had a functioning brain. Seeming to realise this he shook his head and rubbed his eyes. 'Oh my god now I know I'm shattered.' He let himself fall back onto the bed, immediately succumbing to the sleep that had evaded him for far too long. 'I'm thinking about magic!'
Author's Note:
Soooo...long time no see, huh? I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and that it fulfilled your Balcony Talks/Jily needs. It feels great to be writing again after months of leaving it on the back burner, but my A levels had to take priority I'm afraid, so I just had to leave you hanging. Hopefully it won't be as long until the next update (despite the fact that I'm starting University in just over a month) as I have a few chapters that are nearly ready, so they should be finished soon, but what I'll try to do is space them out so that you're not left with no content for another year...yeah...sorry about that.
Any reviews are more than welcome! I love reading your comments and thoughts about my work, makes it all worth while.
Love,
Hattie x