TITLE: Never Again

AUTHOR: PapayaK

CATEGORY: Whump, Hurt/comfort, a hint at romance

SPOILERS: None that I can think of

SEASON: Jonas

WARNINGS: Major Character Death

SUMMARY: SG-1 facing impossible odds

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Sorry, I keep killing people, I gotta get over that - don't worry, they always get better.

Disclaimer: I get nothing but pleasure from this

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Never Again - Chapter 2

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"Nooo…" My whisper escapes. My heart fills with dread. His face is peaceful. One arm is lying, seemingly comfortably, across his chest. The other is flung out toward his P-90. Everywhere else is covered in blood. His chest, abdomen, and leg are a mass of red and black; the results of multiple staff wounds. He's not moving. I look closer, afraid of what I'll find. He's not breathing. My eyes are drawn against my will to his wounds. He's not bleeding anymore. No, it can't be. It can't! I reach out my hand to his throat. His skin is cool. I search, for even the slightest flutter…

"MajorCarter?"

I can't respond.
I can't speak.
Can't move.
Can't feel.

This can't be. We're charmed, invincible. I realize for the first time how deeply I believed that. I believed the Colonel's unspoken pledge to us: I will always get you home.

Not anymore.

Never again will those wonderful brown eyes look into mine. He could communicate more to me in a glance than anyone else could in a paragraph.

Never again would I feel that gaze and know the message was just for me.

Never again would I feel that unique relaxed excitement he exuded on every mission.

Never again would he order me to complete some impossible task and then make me believe I could do it.

Never again would he douse my inner terror with some sarcastic joke in the face of certain death.

Never again would he save my sorry butt simply by drawing attention to himself.

That was my job now. These were all my jobs now.

Never again would he give me that incredible feeling that nothing was impossible.

THIS was supposed to be impossible…

"MajorCarter!"

Teal'c. He's just lost a brother. How do I tell him? I'm glad Jonas is out.

"Teal'c."

He knows. My tone and lack of frantic activity have confirmed what he already knew. I sense his spirit sag.

Crawling even closer, I reach out to him. "Jack." So many emotions crowd into that one word: anger, fear, loss, a desperate sadness, friendship, love? I smile quietly to myself at my comfort with his name now that he's not there to hear it. I cup his face in my hands and lay my forehead gently against his. My eyes squeeze shut. I will not mourn him now. Not here.

I shake my head slightly as I feel strength and determination flow into me. Even now, even in death, he gives me strength. I feel the mantle of command pass from him to me one last time. And I make him this pledge: "I will get us home. I will honor your promise to us."

"Unh…" Jonas awakes and manages to regain his feet. "Oh man... Wow! That was nasty – I tell ya. I got a headache that would… Teal'c?" His voice is suddenly uncertain as he observes emotions in Teal'c he has never seen before.

Teal'c ignores him.

"MajorCarter. I do not know the full extent of the power of a sarcophagus."

"Teal'c?" Jonas is confused. Probably his eyesight has not recovered enough for him to see further than his teammate.

"How long?" I ask, doubtful.

"Over twenty minutes have passed since O'Neill fell."

Slowly I stand, reluctant to break contact with his… body. I pull myself to my full height, managing to reach a state of attention despite the pain in my shoulder. I turn and move to my friends, each step easier than the last because it has to be.

I release them from their bonds; giving Jonas a sympathetic glance as he tries to take in a situation we have no intention of explaining. It will become clear to him soon enough. Teal'c is already at Jack's side, gathering his battered and torn form together.

I can feel Jonas's reaction without even looking at him. His CO's 'condition' has just sunk in. "Sarcophagus? But…" His voice trails off. I think he realizes that bringing up any objections at this point would be counterproductive.

I nod. And go into action. Impossible goals often require just as much effort as the possible ones. And right now, the remainder of SG-1 needs a goal. The Colonel taught me that. Actually he taught me all about what to do in the face of impossible odds. First: Make your team believe it is possible.

"We are currently on level 8. The sarcophagus chamber is three levels above us, just below the Peltak. We already know there are just a ton of Jaffa onboard, so our first objective will be to avoid as many as possible."

"A task that will become increasingly difficult as we proceed."

"Correct. The closest armory is one level below us. Teal'c and I will proceed there and gather as many armaments and flash grenades as we can carry. Jonas, we will move as much of the debris as possible to provide you with some cover, but you must hold this room until we return. The Jaffa will not stay away long."

Jonas nods and moves to assist Teal'c in rearranging the piles of debris while I guard the door.

When I feel Teal'c behind me I move out.

TBC