Speak

Ayako is pretty. Painfully pretty. Long, light brown hair that falls to her waist and shines in sunlight – kind of like a doll's. Her eyes are clear and bright, smiling in a motherly way. And she's young. So young. Too young for my old man. Without even trying, she makes my Mom look like an old hag. It's unfair, really.

"I hope you don't mind that your father and I are getting married, Tatsuya." Ayako's voice is gentle and encouraging, like a kindergarten teacher's. She could say anything to you at all, like the Earth is flat or Aretha Franklin isn't black, and you'd be compelled to believe her. Very sincere. I'd almost be willing to accept her as my stepmother if I didn't suspect that Dad chose her partly to make Mom squirm. It would make sense; Mom hasn't dated anyone since my father. I feel responsible just a little bit because I'm part of the reason why she never did. When I was younger I didn't like the thought of any other man in our lives. And if Mom can't move on in her love life, I don't think Dad should be able to, either.

"You're a well behaved boy, aren't you?" She says it like I'm nine. "Your father tells me that you're a talented soccer player and an excellent student. He has high hopes for you becoming a professional." Too bad for Dear Old Dad that I'm plotting to defy his wishes.

"Yeah, but the boy can be an idiot at times," Dad grumbles.

"I wonder who I get it from," I love you too, cranky old coot.

Ayako laughs a fluttery laugh and takes a sip from her iced tea. The three of us are sitting at an (expensive) outdoor café, and I need something to distract me from the unlikely lovebirds. I mostly keep eating and drinking whatever's on the table to keep from having to talk so much. It's really freaking awkward.

"So, do you like school, Tatsuya?" No.

"It's alright. I mean, it's school after all."

"Do you have a lot of friends at school?"

"Sort of." Most of them aren't really friends. I get on well with the soccer team, but most everyone else only likes me for my looks and popularity. Not because I'm working to end world hunger or anything.

"I bet you've got a lot of girls following you, huh?"

By this point I know to shrug such a comment off and not let it get to my head. Most of the time I wish people would leave me alone. I mean, I like girls and all, but I don't revel in their attention like that's all there is in life. I don't have the time to worry about it. (Although I will secretly admit that I don't mind the thought of Miss Tartaglia fawning over me...this is the wrong place for such thoughts.) If anything, it pisses me off when people point out my looks.

"Do you have a girlfriend?"

I immediately think of both Rei and Miss T, but mostly Rei, causing me to choke on my soda.

"No," I say in between coughs.

"Not yet? I'm surprised." Ayako smiles that innocent smile of hers and chuckles. Dad looks very irritated. "Surely it'd be easy for someone like you to find someone. With those looks, you'd almost have to. No sense in letting something good go to waste. If I were your mother, though, I'd send you to school with a bat!" Sure, but you're not my mother, so shove it, lady.

"He doesn't have time to worry about such things," Dad declares. "Between school and soccer he keeps too busy to think about a girlfriend. He can worry about that when he finishes school."

"I find it funny that you're deciding what goes on in my life when you're barely even in it," I spit. "If I wanted a girlfriend I could get one, no problem. It's not that I don't have the time." He's kinda right, though. If I didn't have to maintain a B average, I'd have a lot more time for flirting and picking up chicks. I could feasibly do it, but if I did I'd have no time for myself. I force myself to eat a dry piece of bread.

"Like I said," Dad pauses to glare at me, "he doesn't need to be worried about it. He's doing fine right now."

Ayako laughs again. "You two bicker like an old married couple."

"Ayako-san, can I ask you something?" I ask after clearing my throat.

"Go ahead, Tatsuya."

"Do you have any kids of your own?" It feels like a really forward question to ask, but I have to ask it.

"Mmhm. Two daughters. Twins. Their names are Ai and Chiaki, and they're twelve."

Where are they? How come they didn't join in on this little outing?

"They're living with their father in Ottawa right now."

I look at Ayako long and hard. It didn't seem like she said anything, but I think I heard her. Kind of like how I hear Rei.

"Tatsuya? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Ayako-san."

"You don't have to call me -san. Ayako is fine."

"Ayako." This is weird. Really weird.

I flop down on my bed, putting on headphones and listening to some L'Arc. I've decided that Ayako is a nice woman, but she's making me feel bad about my own mother. She's so kind and polite and she looks like she could be royalty or nobility. Just not snooty or condescending. Or maybe that nice lady in your neighborhood who always set out fresh baked cookies and glasses of milk for all the kids on the block to have and gave out full sized candy bars on Halloween. My mom is kind of like that, but could she have competed with Ayako back in the day? Did she do to my dad what Ayako is doing now? I mean, a woman like that is a dream come true for family life, and I know that my dad wants to start another family.

Moving on sucks.

On my back I air guitar along to amazing riffs in the music right when Aunt Takako opens my door.

"Tacchan!" She stifles a giggle. "Someone's here to see you!"

Flustered, I cease pretending to be Hyde immediately and pull off my headphones.

"Don't you know how to knock?!"

"I did, but you didn't hear me."

Shrugging, I pick myself up and stumble down the stairs and I see Rei standing in the foyer, letting Holmes paw at her and lick her hands. I blink several times and do a triple take just to make sure I'm seeing the right person. When I'm sure I'm not dreaming (I even pinch myself to make sure), I call Holmes off of her. She smiles a minuscule smile at me.

"Tacchan is a cute name for you." Her voice is meek and cautious, sort of like it is in English class. A very faint smile plays on her lips.

"Erm..uh..." Cue furious blushing. "Um, what's up?"

"I need help. With English."

"On what?" Slowly, the heat fades away and I gain a bit of composure. "Poetry's pretty easy. I can help you with whatever."

"I just need you to catch me up on it. I missed a lot last week." She looks down at the floor and very meticulously slips her feet out of her shoes. "You see, I stupidly asked Shige if he could help me, and he said to see you." Hm. She did end up ditching English a couple of times, didn't she?

"Alright then. Just let me run upstairs really quick and I'll get my notes –"

"And I wanted to apologize, too."

"Huh?"

"For the other day when I yelled at you. I didn't really apologize properly."

"No, it's fine," I say. "I have to say that you confused me a bit, but I'm fine. It's not bothering me or anything. Don't feel bad."

"That's good to hear." Her smile widens, and she really is kind of pretty. She could be an Ayako if you give her a few more years and something for that chemical imbalance in her head.

"So. English. Be right back." I run up to my room three stairs at a time and shuffle through my book bag, feeling initially happy that Rei is being civil with me, but that feeling fades into frustration. I know I have the damn spiral in here. It's red to match the book cover I put on the textbook. (Lame habit #1: I color code my book covers and notebooks). It has to be here.

It's not in my bag. It's not on my desk. It's not under my bed. I look twice thinking maybe the dog shoved it underneath there unwittingly, but it's nowhere to be found. Disappointed, I sulk my way back down to deliver the bad news.

"I left my notebook in my locker. Sorry, Rei."

"It's alright. Maybe I'll ask Sho and –"

"Oh, no. Don't ask him," I advise her. "He's as bad as Shige. He never takes notes, and most of the time he'll be sleeping through the class – even past the bell!"

"I see," she says with a giggle. "Well, then..."

"You can stay if you want, though," I offer. "I don't have anything planned for today, really. Making it past an awkward as hell lunch with my dad and his fiancée was enough for me."

"Thank you." Her green eyes glitter almost. I lead her into the kitchen (with Holmes following us) where Takako is on the phone. "Is that your mom?"

"No." I stifle a slight laugh and shake my head. "That's my aunt Takako. My aunt Yuriko lives with us, too."

She nods and whispers, "I see. It makes sense, then."

"What does?"

"Why you're so pretty. You live with three women. You can find out everything you need to know about grooming and upkeep." This time we both have to fight ourselves, and Takako notices.

"Are you talking about me, Tacchan? 'Cause I can hear you, you know."

"No we aren't," I say in between struggling outbursts.

"Uh-huh." Her words drip with sarcasm. "Right. Either way, keep it down. I'm on the phone. Kids..."

"Whatever you say, Taka." Rolling my eyes, I return my attention to Rei. "Want anything? Something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine." She smiles at me again. "Thank you, though."

Through the kitchen, we head outside onto the deck, with Holmes following us. As soon as I push the sliding door shut, he scrambles off to find a stick, itching to play fetch. Rei and I sit down on the steps, watching my dog lumber around the yard goofily.

"Your dog is a cutie," she comments. "Holmes is his name? Who's the Sherlock Holmes fan in the house?"

"Me." My face flushes a bit. "I had been watching Sherlock Holmes cartoons around the time I got him. And since he was my Christmas gift, I got to name him. So I named him Holmes. It's kind of ironic, though, because my dog isn't the brightest light on the Christmas tree."

She laughs a fluttery, genuine laugh. "Dogs can be like that. I remember Char was like that."

"Char?"

"My dad's dog. He was a husky, and he had a sister named Sayla." Rei sighs with nostalgia, looking past me. "When my dad was a kid, he wanted to direct anime. He was a big Gundam fan. Before Char and Sayla, he had a dog named Amuro."

"That's...kinda funny." I laugh to myself.

"Yeah...he was a real geek, but he was still nice. I miss him."

"Where is he?" I ask, not thinking about the chance that I might be treading on thin ice.

"Tokyo."

"Oh..."

"My mom rarely lets me see him."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Rei flashes me a reassuring smile, but it doesn't do much to reassure me. "I'm supposed to be happy with my stepfather because he makes a lot more money and doesn't have his head in the clouds; plus he can speak English without a thick, crippling accent. That's what my mom says, at least."

"You don't like him?"

"I hate him."

At that moment, after finally finding a suitable stick, Holmes bounds up to Rei and drops a drool-drenched tree limb in her lap. She picks the stick up between two fingers and gives it a good throw, sending the dog away.

"He's a slobber factory, isn't he?" I laugh while watching Rei brush the drool off of her jeans. At the same time I can't help noticing that she has pretty nice legs.

"It doesn't bother me. Dogs' mouths are pretty clean anyway. It's why they can eat things off of the ground and not get sick." She crosses her legs and waits for Holmes to come back with the stick. "They've got enzymes in their spit that we don't have."

"Mmhm."

"My face is up here, Tatsuya."

"Huh?"

"Look up." Rei snaps her fingers, and I lift my head in time to see her roll her eyes and pitch the stick again. Without realizing it, my eyes were too busy following her curves than following the conversation. Just great.

"What?" I sputter stupidly.

"You're so predictable. Like you've never seen a girl before." She laughs. "I don't know how Miss Tartaglia puts up with it."

"Puts up with what?"

"Guys like you. Guys who are only interested in one thing."

"I am so not like that!" God, why is she putting me on the spot like this? Whatever happened to being a respectful guest?

All of a sudden Perfect Tatsuya isn't so perfect, now is he?

"Really? Because you had me fooled. I mean, it's no big secret that you're hot for her. Every single guy in the tenth grade is. The only ones who aren't are gay." A malicious grin plays on Rei's lips. She's getting to me, and she knows it.

"I mean...I think she's pretty and all, but..." Liar. Ayako is pretty. Rei is pretty. Miss Tartaglia is smoking hot. There's no denying that.

"You're a bad liar." It's kind of humiliating to have Rei laughing at me, but I suffer through it. "She kinda likes you, though. She thinks you're a 'good kid,' if a little unmotivated."

Unmotivated? Me? English is my best class, effort wise!

"How do you know?"

"I hear her think that every day in English."

"...You heard her think that?" My mind is reeling in disbelief. "Don't you mean say?"

"No, I mean think." Another grin.

"Th-that's impossible!"

"She probably likes it, though." Rei continues on in a different direction. I may as well have said nothing. "A bunch of horny teenagers staring her up and down like she's some kind of sex goddess. I personally find it repulsive, but maybe it's different for teachers. Or maybe just for her. She probably knows that she has every straight guy in that school wrapped around her pinkie finger, and that makes her feel powerful."

My face turns ghostly white. I do not like the turn this conversation has taken... Okay, maybe I like it a little bit. Not a whole lot, though. It's mostly mortifying, and I don't like to think that anyone has me wrapped around their pinkie finger. I like to think I'm my own man, even at sixteen.

"Jesus, Tatsuya, calm down!" She giggles. I swear this girl has a chemical imbalance. Either that or she's high right now. This can't be the same person who almost beat me up the other day who was also so very polite in my foyer a few minutes earlier. Already we're talking about sex as if I'm one of her girls. Which I'm not. I just don't know how to tell her that. "Shige's right about you. You need to lighten up. You have a major stick shoved up your arse."

"So you talk to Shige now?" I question.

"No. But I hear him."

I don't really have a comeback for this, for two reasons: one, Shige is generally loud once you get him started and he'll say anything and everything for the whole world to hear; two, I don't particularly want to hear her bipolar ramblings on how she hears voices.

But I do hear voices. You hear them, too.

"...Did you say something, Rei?" I ask, but she just chuckles. I could have sworn I just heard her say something, but I was kinda spaced out worrying about whether or not I let a lunatic into my house or not. Maybe I'm the lunatic being so paranoid. Maybe I have an anxiety disorder, like I'm schizophrenic or something.

You don't.

It happened again, and this time I know I heard Rei. But her mouth didn't move. It's still shaped in that same knowing smirk. For a moment, pure horror floods through me because I don't know what the hell's going on, but I do know it has something to do with her. And she's fucking with me.

General rule of thumb: If you start to suspect that you're going insane, you're probably not. Most mental illnesses mess with your self evaluation.

...What?

"Congratulations, Mizuno-san," Rei declares. "You just learned something new about both me and yourself."