Coming Home

I woke up at seven like I usually do, brushed my teeth, combed my hair, checked my phone, and left with my heavy as hell backpack like I usually do, with Mom shoving my lunch in a paper bag and handing it to me on my way out. I almost feel bad that she's still packing my lunch, but I don't complain. It's nice to know that she cares. I arrive at my locker, shove some unneeded textbooks inside, close it, and look up to see Desiree leaning against the lockers by mine. To be honest, I smelled her makeup and perfume before I saw her.

"Hi, Tatsuya!" She greets me with a coy, lip gloss skirted smile.

"Hi." I try not to make a big deal out of it. She wouldn't be the first girl who's tried to flirt with me. The thing is after last night, I wonder if I should be treating it so casually. "What's up?" I notice her eyes lighting up. Maybe asking her what's up wasn't such a good idea. She thinks I'm interested.

"Oh, nothing much. Just the same old, same old." It's cute how she thinks since we've been partners in French that now she thinks we're pals outside the classroom. Not so. "I just wanted to see how you were, that's all."

"Well, that's nice of you." I really want to put some bitter sarcasm in my voice, but I just can't be rude to a girl.

"I figured it's the least I could do."

"What makes you say that?" Just shut up. Should Rei see you right now – that's odd. Rei's locker is very near mine, and I don't see her around anywhere. I crane my neck over heads and clusters of people to find her, but there's no sign of her.

"I mean, we're friends, right?"

"Yeah..."

"And you've been acting differently." Finally, she gets to the point. Or, at least, in the vicinity of the point.

"How so?"

"For one, you're ignoring me!" Desiree tugs on my shirt sleeve sharply, and I face her.

"What?! What is it with you?"

"I'm trying to tell you something!"

"Well, then tell me. I'm listening, Dessie." Mistake number two: calling her "Dessie."

"Are you friends with Rei or something?" she asks me in an accusing way, like my mother would ask me if I've been smoking or drinking.

"...Yeah, you could say that," I tell her. I mean, it was only the one time we kissed. And that goodbye kiss counts together with the first one as one time. I think.

"It's a yes or no question."

"Yes, I'm friends with her." My eyes wander again. Where is she?

"So then, it wouldn't be asking too much if I asked you to take me to Homecoming?"

"Wait, what?!" Once again it feels like someone just whaled on me with brass knuckles. How could I forget something like Homecoming?! Even if I don't like dressing up in monkey suits and escorting a girl who's infatuated with me to a school sponsored dance, it's mandatory that star athletes attend Homecoming. Yet it was the last thing on my mind – which is unacceptable because we jocks and preps are required to prepare for these things weeks ahead of time. I didn't.

"Homecoming. Will you take me?"

"Will you take me?" not "Do you want to go with me?" or "Are you going with anyone to Homecoming this year?" It's like I'm giving her a ride there with my imaginary license and pretend car. I scratch the back of my head nervously.

"I...don't think I'm–" Shige drifts into my peripheral vision, and he has that same mischievous grin on his face. "–I don't think I'm going this year."

"Whaaaaat?!" Desiree nearly screams it. "You're not going?! Why not?!"

"I went last year, and really it was kinda boring." That isn't a total lie. The dance itself was quite boring. My date however...she was interesting up until the point where she told me she was saving herself for marriage. Lord knows I wanted to tell her to not back her ass into me repeatedly then, but I didn't. I just went home lonely and disappointed.

"Please go with me?"

"I don't know..." At least she said please this time.

Now, the prospect of going with Desiree isn't entirely bad. She's definitely stacked, and word on the grapevine is that she has fewer inhibitions than some girls. Fewer than most, actually. While that has its advantages, I'd have to put up with someone who has very little independence and thinks happiness is in the bank account – not to mention her possibly abandoning me to squeal with her "friends" and brag about how hot her date is and how lucky she was that he said yes... Sensible, good boy Tatsuya wants to stand by my decision of no and possibly considers asking Rei (which might be asking for death depending on what mood I catch her in), but irrational, impulsive, hormonal Tatsuya is saying that Desiree is practically offering herself to me and I should take the shot. Sensible Tatsuya rebuts saying that Desiree isn't really all that hard to get – work your charm the right way and she'll jump into your lap any day of the week day or night rain or shine. But hormonal Tatsuya wants her now. In fact, he'd be willing to take her before Homecoming if there was an out of the way, empty bathroom in the vicinity. There isn't. I'm so conflicted.

"Y-ye..." Yes! Say yes! You won't regret it! "Umm...er..." No! Say no! You don't need Rei ridiculing the yellow off of you. "Uhh...I'll think about it." Both sides of my argument yell at me, but that's my decision. It's not really much of a decision, but it gives Desiree the illusion of hope.

"Thank you!" For what, I don't know, but she makes a bold move and kisses me on the cheek. My face heats up like it normally does when someone kisses me, but it's different from Rei's. Rei's has more meaning.

Shige saunters over and claps me on the back roughly. "Hooking up with Chezric, are we?"

"No," I mumble. "She just wanted to go to Homecoming with me."

"...You said 'yes,' right? I mean, a girl asking you to go to Homecoming means she's looking to get into your..." he pretends to cough "...jeans."

"I said I would think about it." It sounds so stupid now. So very stupid. Why did I say that?

"What?!" This time Shige attracts the attention of nearly everyone in the hallway. I try looking for her again even though I know it's fruitless. I even sneak her a text from behind my world history textbook. "How the hell could you not say yes to her?! I would have!"

"Shige, hearing that from you is in no way encouraging. What experience do you have with girls? All the ones you've seen naked are on screens." I sigh heavily.

"Don't you listen to yourself when you talk?" He grabs me by the collar and shakes me a bit. "If you don't say yes to a girl when she asks you out, it means you're a fucking homo. And you know what they say about good looking Japanese men."

"I know, I know, I know! We don't look all that manly, now let go of me." Irritated, I push him away. "I wasn't even going to go to the stupid Homecoming dance in the first place."

Cue mock gasp from Shige. "That's blasphemy!"

"Why? You never went to Homecoming."

"Because my date and I had more important things to do." Which means he couldn't find a date in time. I don't say this aloud, though.

"If you say so."

"All I'm saying is that if you turned Dessie down, it has to be because you're going with someone else. Someone better." Someone better...

I check my phone. Rei hasn't answered me. For some reason it kind of hurts.

The first four classes of my day slide by uneventfully. I was completely lost in chemistry (at no one's fault but my own), I tune out my world history teacher, and I give half effort at best in gym. I don't feel like being overachiever Tatsuya today. In French, Desiree keeps staring at me dreamily, and being a bit too obvious about it, too. Every once in a while she'll smirk and wink at me. I try not to give her the satisfaction of a response, but I'm not sure if I was successful. Something about my face must have given me away. The fact is I don't dislike Dessie, and last year I had a small crush on her. She just gets annoying, though. And to be perfectly honest, she isn't the brightest crayon in the box. She's a little lazy, too. On more than one occasion she's asked to see my homework. Of course she does; plenty of people do. I'm the good looking, athletic, borderline genius Asian kid. I'm the perfect go-to guy for anything school related because my parents are the stereotypical Asian parents who set unrealistic academic goals for their son and send him to prep school at night. (Naturally, my parents aren't like that, but people like to assume it.)

It's times like these when I hate being me.

French ends awkwardly on my part, and I'm the first out the door before Desiree can catch up to me. I really don't want to talk to her. I just want to go to lunch and see Rei. It's times like these when other people in the halls annoy me for being incredulously slow, but I try hard to keep my cool. There's no need to blow up because I'm trying to avoid someone. On my way to lunch, I run into Rei.

Quite literally, I run into Rei.

I'm a little dazed as I try to pick up all of my books and Rei scrambles to collect hers. The sleeves on her hoodie run up and I catch a better look at her scars. More like I stare at them. I don't mean to, but they're just...there. And some of them were new with brown scabs instead of dead white skin. My original suspicions were confirmed – she does cut herself. Instead of jumping down my throat, like I expected her to do, she quickly hides her arms beneath oversized sleeves and starts to walk away with her books. I stop her.

"Hey, wait a minute!" I grab her shoulder and turn her around to face me. "So out of nowhere you're not talking to me?!" I know I sound angrier than I feel, but I'm worried.

"Leave me alone," she says, looking down to the floor.

"What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." Rei pauses for a moment, then repeats herself as if to convince herself more than me. "It's nothing, I promise. I'm just not in a good mood today." Evidently.

"Care to talk about it?"

"Not really."

We stand there silently, long after the bell rings. I want to say something, but I know what she's thinking, and I should just walk away. She wants me to, but I can't. I want to figure out what's wrong with her and why she's acting completely different today. I'm almost sure it has something to do with last night, but I don't know if it's something I did. A guilty part of me wants to kiss her, but I shove those thoughts into the back of my mind.

He can see me, can't he? He can see what I did last night. He hates me for it.

"I don't hate you." I'm not sure if I thought it or said it, but it doesn't matter. Rei got the message. She looks ready to cry – whether it's out of relief or fear or both, I'm not sure, but her bottom lip is trembling. Her face is pale. When I look closely I can see those dark circles. I don't mean to examine her so closely, but I can't help it. "You can tell me what happened."

"I...I can't. There's nothing to tell," she whispers.

"It's alright, you know." Rei shies away from me when I try to pat her shoulder to comfort her. "I'm not going to hurt you. You know I wouldn't do that." She still won't look at me. "You're going to lunch, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Come with me, then."

We walk down the now deserted hallways together, Rei close to me but not looking up at me. She must be really ashamed of something. I'm still not sure what, but I'm almost positive it's something that happened at home. Maybe with her stepfather? She said he's an asshole, but I've never met the man. I don't know what he's capable of, and something tells me I don't want to know.

"Why do you care so much about me?" she asks.

"Because I like you." It feels like a natural answer, and I'm almost surprised it's so easy to say it to her. "Does it bother you?"

"I don't get it. Why would someone like you like someone like me?"

"Maybe I see something in you that I don't see in the others." Another surprising answer. I'm starting to wonder myself why I'm so honest with her.

"Maybe you're fooling yourself. I'm nothing special."

"That's what I thought, too. I think I was wrong though." I begin to muse while we step carefully down the stairs. "I don't think a whole lot of people can hear other people's thoughts. And I don't think there's a whole lot of people I'd believe that from." A small smile on my part lifts a tiny bit of gloom from Rei's face. "I trust you. I normally don't trust anyone other than Sho and Shige."

"Oh...I suppose it would be rude of me to not trust you, then."

"I suppose," I start, "but there's no need for you to tell me anything if you don't feel ready to. Right? I don't want to force anything out of you, but I'm here if you need to talk." I sound like a regular nice guy, don't I?

"I appreciate that." Rei pauses for a long time. "You should probably be careful, though. You're going to Homecoming with Dessie, aren't you? She gets jealous easily."

Crap. I forgot about her completely.

"How did you know about that?"

"Anything involving her gets around fast." She laughs a little bit. A dry, uninspired laugh. "I should know. I was friends with her." Was. Past tense. Dessie said the same thing to me when she showed me that blog. My skin crawls a bit.

"I guess you're right."

Before I know it, we're right outside the cafeteria, and I have to admit that I'm a little disappointed. I like walking and talking with Rei, even if she's a little hesitant to talk. Or scared. Or whatever. I like hearing her voice, and I like thinking that she's starting to trust me. I hope she does. I want her to.

"I really do appreciate this," she says. "You being nice to me. I'm not used to it is all."

"It's not a problem," I tell her, but inside it is. Hearing her say that nearly broke me. Why? "Dessie's probably already in there. I'll wait a few minutes after you go in before I do."

"Okay. Thank you, Tatsuya."

Maybe sometime I'll tell you what happened. You know, I just might.

"Have you decided yet?" Desiree practically sits in my lap once I settle into my place at my table. God knows I want her to back the hell up, but Hormonal Tatsuya won't hear of it. He wants her, and he wants her bad. I'm constantly fighting with him to keep from getting stiff. It's the last thing I need with Rei at the same table.

Tatsuya Mizuno, what on Earth have you gotten yourself into?

"Four hours isn't enough time for me to make a decision," I tell her, doing some last minute BS-ing to my algebra homework. "Don't you have something else to think about in the meantime?"

"Are you nuts?!" Once again, several people around us stare at me. "This is Homecoming we're talking about! Why would I be thinking about anything else?!"

"Just a thought," I grumble. I steal a glance at Rei, and she's looking very uncomfortable. She tries to hide it by telling Sho more stories about her dad, but it's failing miserably. We all know she's hating this.

"I mean, you don't have anyone else you're thinking about going with, right?"

I immediately look up at Rei to see if that registered. Her mouth is slightly agape and she's looking at me, blushing. I half didn't expect it, but I think she was hoping I'd ask her. Not major staking her whole life on it hope, but a small sliver of hope. I feel like such an asshole.

"Like I said, I don't know. Just give me some time." A quick excuse flies into my head. If I can thank Dad for anything other than providing half of my genetic material... "I don't even know if I can go. I might have to see my dad that weekend."

"Tell your dad to reschedule then! Homecoming's more important!"

I swear, if anyone has a one track mind, it's Desiree. She is clinging to this for dear life.

"If you don't stop bugging me about it, then I won't go with you." Please, God, let her bug me a bit more.

"Fine." Desiree pouts.

"Well, Dessie, if Tatsubon here turns you down, I'll be happy to be your date!" Shige laughs, winking at her. Desiree pretends to be disgusted, but on closer inspection I realize that she's just being difficult for the sake of being difficult. I know she's seriously considering him as an insurance policy if I bail on her – which I probably will – because I can see her checking him out every now and then. Desiree. Checking him out. Checking Shige out. I'm a little shocked by it, but like I said before, Desiree has fewer inhibitions than most.

"Tatsuya," Rei almost whispers, "did you do last night's English homework?"

"Hm? Yeah, why?"

"I need it. I was going to ask you last night, but..." Her face flushes, and mine heats up like the sun. A tiny piece of me remembers the feel of her lips brushing against mine, and I'd like to feel it again. Not here though.

"Oh! Sure, just a second." I fish for my notebook and slide it over her way. I catch Desiree throwing her a jealous glare. I'm about to fuck this up so badly.

"Thanks, Tacchan." Rei smiles for a quick second and then realizes that I never go by that name in school. Ever. Shige learned that the hard way last year. "Oh! I'm sorry. It slipped."

"Don't worry about it," I mumble, scribbling in guessed answers for my own incomplete homework.

"Tacchan?" Desiree questions. "Is that your nickname?"

"I don't usually use it. It's mostly my aunts and my mom that call me that." Dear God, I only have one request: shoot me now.

"It's a cute nickname. I'll have to start calling you that."

Shige stares at me incredulously, very close to protesting, but my death glare shuts him up. There's another thing I'll have to thank my dad for if we ever stop warring with each other. I can threaten people wordlessly thanks to him. The good ole Kirihara Death Glare.

Look at those two! What bitches! They're both trying to get into Tatsuya's pants?!

I can't believe it. Dessie's betrayed us now, too?

I always knew she was a slut. I knew she'd side with Rei, too!

It's really hard to not look behind me. I know they're there, and I know they're hating both Rei and Desiree right now. I want to ignore them, hopelessly believing that if I pay them no mind then they'll cease to exist. A quantum existence. Jamie sends that pipe dream crashing though, when she reaches around to tap Desiree on the shoulder.

"Dessie, can I see your planner for a second?" Jamie smiles a poisoned honey smile. Although I'm not a teenage girl, I'm well enough aware of the torturing techniques of Jamie Hammond and her Sheeple. And one of her Sheeple have strayed from the flock.

Desiree hesitates. She knows she's crossed the line. She's sitting at the same table as Rei, and she's being conspicuously inconspicuous about arousing me. She's trying to get her way too much.

"I'll ask you again. Dessie, can I see your planner for a second?" The smile fades a few teeth. She's getting impatient.

"Sure, Jamie." Desiree reaches into her designer purse and surrenders the notebook. The Sheeple laugh as Jamie turns around with it and gathers a few of them around. There's hushed whispering and the scritch-scratch of marker against paper, and within a few minutes the planner is returned, seemingly unscathed. We all know better than that, though. I catch a glimpse at one of the inner pages. A number of curse words in combinations I never would have thought up are all I see in the box for Tuesday. Desiree quickly shoves her planner into her purse and acts like nothing happened. But something very important happened: she's become the black sheeple.

Desiree has become Rei's replacement.

In English, Rei and I partner up and answer questions about a short story Miss T assigned. We don't talk openly about what happened at lunch because one of Jamie's head Sheeple is in here. She's an informer. Instead we talk through margins of our notes.

"I'm sure you've heard odd rumors about me." Rei's handwriting is both jagged and loopy at the same time in an odd half cursive that looks like an adult's handwriting.

"I hear lots of strange rumors about a lot of people. Comes with the territory," I write back.

"She started those rumors because someone thought I was trying to fuck the guy she wanted to ask out to Homecoming. I wasn't, but to be fair I would have had a better chance at getting him than she did."

"That's harsh."

"But it's true. He started talking to me because I was Jamie's 'pet,' so to speak, and according to his logic if anyone knew Jamie well, it was me. I told him I wasn't interested in him because of both Jamie and the fact that he was really kind of a prick."

"What happened?"

"He was trying to get me to sleep with him. One of Jamie's flunkies took a picture of us together when he had me pushed up against the lockers, trying to get me to make out with him. I kicked him where the sun doesn't shine, and he told Jamie that I came on to him, not the other way around. No one would believe me, so they started torturing me last year."

Miss Tartaglia circles around the room, passing by us. Like a hopelessly loyal lap dog I lift my head and catch a whiff of her mature, sophisticated smell. I feel guilty about my slip, but it can't be helped. Sometimes a man can't resist a woman like her. When I look back down at my notebook, Rei has scribbled a new message:

"Give up on her, Tacchan. She's out of your league, and she's off limits to students."

"Fuck you."

"No thanks, I don't do jocks. =P"

We both laugh even though on the inside we're both put off. Very put off.