AN: It's too short :( I wanted to make it longer, but I wanted to give you guys and update too.

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Chapter 5 - Saying Nothing

"I won't say anything if you won't." The words rolled off my tongue like I'd been practicing that line my whole life. I didn't say it too loud, but I didn't say it too softly. I didn't put too much power into it, but some how it still had a kick. It made her cheeks go rosy and her lips tremble. I was so wrapped up in the perfect moment that I almost didn't notice the thousands of butterflies invading my stomach.

She seemed to have trouble breathing, and she tried closing her eyes again. I had the urge to kiss her, but I didn't. Something was holding me back. If she was any other girl I'd already have all her clothes off by now. But something is different about her. About this situation. About us.

In the smallest voice I'd ever heard, sounding like it belonged to a magical fairy, she whispered, "I won't say anything if you won't."

It took a solid minute for me to understand what was happening. Her eyes stayed closed and she mostly stayed still as I worked it over in my head.

I won't say anything if you won't. Is that her way of giving me the okay? Is that my signal to go or stop? I'm hoping, praying, it's a go. Before I could even think about anything to do with the future and what the hell I'm gonna do now, her eyes flashed open. They were big, brown, and deep. I could practically read her thoughts through her eyes. I could pick out specks of hazel and even in the dark room I could she every shade of brown in them.

I decided to pick the best road. Between my two roads, the ultimate fork in my heart, was a sign that had two arrows. One said to get far away from her and hope that I'm doing the right thing and she'll thank me later and love me so much that she'll take off all her clothes and totally have hot sex with me. The other one said to just screw it all and kiss her so hard that it makes her realize that she should take off all her clothes and totally have hot sex with me.

I swiftly, but carefully, pressed my lips against hers. I could hardly tell there was contact except that she was still a little shaky. I closed my eyes, not caring if she was ever going to close hers. I moved my lips so that her bottom lip was in the middle of my lips. I moved my hands to get tangled in her straight hair. I swear I felt her hands gently on my arms, but I was too focused on her to care.

I pulled my lips away, a smirk on my face because she didn't push away, but a sad smirk because she didn't kiss back. I slowly opened my eyes. I was too afraid of what I'd see so I didn't look directly at her. Instead I stared so hard at my hands that I thought my eyes might pop out and start doing the cha cha.

I breathed in deep. Then exhaled slowly out my mouth. I looked up straight into her eyes.

Her hands were in her lap. Her eyes still big and still confused. Her lips were more shaky then a freakin earthquake but the rest of her was pretty still and calm. She swallowed hard and blinked back some tears that had brimmed her eyes.

"Sorry." I murmured while looking back down at my hands like a coward. I felt so guilty that I couldn't even keep the smirk on my face.

I'd just stoled a kiss from her. What am I gonna be doing next? She didn't ask for me to kiss her. She didn't want me to kiss her. She's not even acting normal any more, I might have killed her. I'm such an ass.

"Don't be." Her words were soft and shaky but they felt like a kick to my stomach. I looked up at her in shock. I'd half expected to be kicked out on the street by now. "It was cleary all my fault."

"What the hell?" I asked, making sure it sounded like I thought she was crazy. "I'm the one that kissed you. You didn't even kiss me back."

The last part didn't need to be said out loud. It was weak and showed how disapointed I am. I just lost all my power. It's gone. I'm weak and hopeless without it and now it's gone because I'm an idiot.

"I couldn't." She muttered, still in that non-human kind of shock state. "I couldn't."

"Why not?" I asked, starting to worry about her. Should I call 911 or something? What would I say? Oh, yeah I just kissed my female teacher lady and now she's gone all horror movie crazy on me...

"It's against the rules." She replied like she'd just read it off a peice of paper. "I can't."

"Screw the rules." I replied grabbing her hand and locking mine to it. She looked down at our hands and just stared at them.

"I can't." She replied like a five year old.

"Yes you can." I told her with a small smile. "You can. You can do anything you set your mind to. Nothing is impossible. Believe in youself. And...crap, what other posters did I see in your office..."

She laughed, my intended goal, and looked up at me with a sad smile.

"You can." I repeated. "There's no law against love."

"Love?" She asked the smile staying put but showing signs of possible fading.

"Love." I smiled brightly. "Besides, if the school board, or any other moron, wants to say anything about it...we'll just give them wedgies and steal their lunch money. That's what got me through elementary and middle school."

"You're so immature." She smiled a little bigger.

"And you used to be...you just got old." I teased. "But come on...there's nothing against two people being together."

"Unless they're in our spots. No teacher and student relationships, Caitlyn." She told me with a frown.

"So you admit that you wanna be in a relationship with me?" I smiled, hope filling my heart.

"I didn't say that." She laughed.

"Read between the lines." I shrugged. "Come on, you know you want me."

She tried to hide her smile but I could still see it.

"I think it's past your bed time." She replied.

"So let's go to bed." I winked at her. She laughed and shook her head like someone would do if they got a new puppy and played fetch for the first time but the puppy brought back a peice of trash and not a stick.

"Okay, let's put it this way." She smiled while standing up and walking backwards to her bedroom to the far left. "I'm going to bed in there. You're going to sleep in here."

"Alright, but I can't promise that I won't make any visits." I smirked over my shoulder at her. "I get really lonely."

"Goodnight." She laughed while opening the bedroom door.

"Just remember that we're not done with this conversation!" I called after her. My reply was the door shuting and the muffled sound of her laughter. But I could live with that. I could deal with this little game. For now.

When I woke up the sun was bright through the windows of the living room. I yawned while I sat up and stretched. I just now realized the warm body sitting at the other end of the couch. I rubbed my eyes and pulled my knees up against my chest and hugged them.

"Morning." Torres smiled at me while sipping something that must be coffee.

"Hey." I replied, the sleepy-ness not completely gone yet.

"Did you sleep good?" She asked while looking down at her mug with the puppy picture on it.

"It might have been better if you were next to me." I smirked and she glanced over at me and tried to hide her smile. "But yeah, it was okay."

"What are you afraid of?" She asked me while leaning back against the soft couch and looking at me.

"Why?" I asked.

"You just seem so brave all the time." She replied.

"Well..." I paused to think. "I'm most scared of those people who call themselves my parents. Then I'm scared of guns, war, and anything that has to do with violence. I'll tell you right now that I'll never go into the army. That stuff just freaks me out."

"Huh." I muttered while looking at me thoughtfully. "I was always saw you as the physical type."

"Don't worry. I can get physical." I winked at her. She smiled to herself before ignoring my comment and going on.

"I'm afraid of loosing things. I hate getting attached to something because I'm always afraid it'll go away or I'll do something to mess it up." She told me.

"Because of what the Shane guy did to you?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't shut me out again.

"That was just part of it." She replied.

"You never told me if he was your only kiss." I reminded her.

"Obviously after last night he's not." She giggled to herself.

"But before then. Was he?" I tried to keep it light and friendly.

"Why do you want to know so badly?" She asked me.

"I dunno. You're keeping it from me. I don't like things to be kept hidden. I hate secrets." I shrugged.

"You hate secrets...but you want one. A big one." She murmured, talking more to herself then me. I guess she meant that I want a relationship with her, and I do, but she's right. That would just be a giant secret. I can't make a parade down main street showing her off like a trophy. It's all got to be on the down low. Not even Lola and Sander can know. No one.

"It'd be worth it." I told her.

"You don't even know me." She replied. "You don't know anything about me."

"I know you more then you think." I told her, a sudden serious-ness casting over the room.

"Yeah? How do you figure?" She asked, thinking I was just talking bull.

"You were never Miss Popularity. People made fun of you because they had something to work with, not just to do it. Boys didn't understand you so you told people you didn't want anything to do with them. You're shy, but you try to break out of your shell. You like things to go you're own way. You have a whole seperate part of your mind that you talk to. It's your friend and one point was the only friend you had."

As I told her what I thought, her eyes grew wide and her face went pale. I guess I was getting it pretty close. And by the way she's got that passing out kinda look to her, it must be pretty damn close.

"You didn't go to parties, mostly because no one invited you. All your teachers were friends with you and you've been in so many clubs that you've lost count. You never understood the sex jokes in school because no one bothered to explain them to you. My guess is that you've never even seen a guy's thing in person. For PE you changed in the locker room stalls. You never went to sleepovers, or if you did you never played truth or dare. You sat off to the side talking to the parents or yourself. Overall I know you, Mitchie Torres...I know you."

She set down her coffee and swallowed hard. She looked back over at me like I was an alien. Like I was interesting but scary as hell at the same time.

"How do you know all that?" She finally asked. Maybe she was thinking I found a diary or something.

"Because I was you." I explained and she went back to that thoughtful face again. "Up until high school I took all of it too. I was the freak show. But I just gave up trying to fit in and went my own way. Lola and Sander have been there through it, but they've only been people who'll talk to me. They've got a rep. I don't. I'm just the bad ass bi girl that no one messes with."

"That's the difference between you and me." She replied. "You figured out how to move on. I didn't."

"So do something crazy." I smiled at her. "Do something wild. Break the rules."

"I can't." She replied with frown.

"You can." I told her. "God, you're so stubborn."

"Says the girl who won't stop trying to make me do something that will send me to jail." She replied.

"Says the girl that has thought about killing herself more then enough times. Jail is nothing." I told her. "Nothing. We won't get caught because I won't say anything and you sure as hell won't say anything. No PDA, I got it. I'll keep quiet. Just trust me."

She stared at me for the longest time. But in the blink of an eye her hands were on my cheeks and her lips on mine. I tried not to fall off the couch but I ended up leaning back from the all the sudden momentum. I was on my back on the couch and she was on top of me. Her hands cupped my cheeks and her lips moved quickly and softly against mine. I wrapped my arms around her and tried to pull her closer to me. I needed to feel that this was real.

"Never kill yourself. Don't even think about something like that." She told me after gasping for air. I opened my eyes to see her brown ones staring down at me. "Never. You're mind is way too amazing to waste."

I slowly pressed my lips against hers and the feeling sent a shiver down my spine. We started moving our lips faster against each other. A dance like no other. Soon her tongue was dipping down into my mouth and I enjoyed it more then I should have.

My hands traveled lower down her back and one actually made it to her ass before she pulled back and stared down at me like a teacher does when I do something stupid.

"What?" I asked her like I didn't know.

"Aren't you moving a little...fast?" She asked me. "I'm sorta...new to this. Remember?"

"Move slow...says the girl that tackled me...got it." I smirked before she kissed my lips.

"I'm still new to this whole...girl on girl concept." She confessed to me.

"You've never thought about being with a chick?" I asked like it was crazy.

"Not before you came along." She smiled.

"Have we even known each other for a week yet?" I asked with a laugh.

"Who cares." She muttered before kissing me again.

"I could get used to this." I smiled as she kissed me again, and again, and again.

"Me too." She sighed against my lips.

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AN: Tooootal make-out session!! Woooo!! XD