Q Me?

by ellennar

A tale in which Joe learns more of The Truth than he ever really wanted to

9. Trials, Tests, and Temptations

My apologies that it took me so long to post this chapter – I've been having a miserable time with both the writing and editing.  I'm honestly still not sure it's ready for public consumption but a.) I'm tired of looking at it and b.)I know how annoying it is when an interesting story never gets updated.  There are several songs in the second half of the chapter.  History in your eyes was shamelessly stolen from Randy Stonehill.  Walk On is by Jeff Borders, and there is an abridged and slightly modified version of Longfellow's Psalm of Life.

Q Me?

Chapter 8:  Trials, Tests, and Temptations

I settled into my chair with an eagerness that I hadn't felt for months as I flipped up my laptop and linked into Amy's whiz kids research.  God Lord, where to start?  Ah, yes the Hawke Chronicle...

Georgia September 21st 1790

Thank the merciful God I have found her at last!  I know she done asked me to let her go.  To find a man and live free of both Immortals and Watchers but I can't.  She was my Mistress before she was my Assignment and I don't forget what she rescued me from and I don't forget what she done for me and mine.  I swore to serve her until my last breathe and I ain't changed my mind.

The Mistress' voice behind me frightened ten years off my life and God alone knows where a flung my quill in my fright.

"Why am I not surprised?"

"Why did you leave me?" I asked.

Mistress kissed me gently on both cheeks in greeting "Because you would have found greater joy in Remus and your children than you will find in my service."

"You could have taken Remus into your service."

"He would never have been content.  One horse can not bear two saddles, Tally.  No matter how much she may wish to."

"Then I don't need him."

 Mistress just looked at me sympathetically and when the tears came she let me weep into her shoulder.  When I finally stopped Mistress drew a fine golden earring from her bodice. 

"The Old Law forbade any man from enslaving another for more than seven years.  At the end of that time the slave came to her mistress and either demanded freedom or requested the golden awl.  – And thou shalt pierce the ear of the man or maidservant that will not be sundered from thee and let an earring be a sign of the covenant between thee.'  Understand Talia if you choose this you shall be Rasha to me.  You put far more than seven or even seventy years but an indefinite period of time ending in a death of my choosing in my hands.  There is still time to return to Remus, be very, very sure."

"I ain't faithless" I rebutted.

"So be it" Mistress pierced my left ear with the awl and slid the golden phoenix with the fiery jewel in its talons into my ear.

'WTF' I thought 'Where's the stuff of the American Revolution?  Where's Talia's mother's files?'  A quick ransack of the other files didn't show anything from the right timeframe and Simone had sure as hell made it sound like we had something.  I shot a quick email to AmyZ requesting soft copy if possible and hard copy if not and went back to my reading.

April 3, 1791

                I am worried.  Those like Mistress do not become ill, at least not for any length of time or with any seriousness but Mistress has done nothing but lie abed these last two weeks.  She turns green at the mere mention of food and she has been terribly short tempered.  It can not of course be what Rosy thinks it is.  I nearly choked to death when she said it.

"It's wonderful ain't it?"

I gave her a blank look.

"'Bout the Mistress, o'course."

"I'm worried about her."

"Well" Rosy paused in her fussing over the breakfast tray. (Scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, oatmeal.  Tea, no cream with the honey that would return untouched on the side.  Actually if today is anything like the last two weeks the whole tray will probably come back untouched.)  "She is more that a bit narrow in the hips but mark me with as little as she's keepen down it'll be a tiny young'n."  Rosy looked worried herself "but she's a strong lady for all that she looks like chiny."

I was too busy choking to reply.

She caught my right hand "It's a good thing, girl.  Don't you go fretten about the birthen this early or you won't be a lick o'good to Her when the time comes."  She smiled "It'll be good to have a little Master 'bout.  And it's good to know Mistress ain't barren.  We was plum worried that Master Ethan might up and leave her, it being six years and no heir."

I snorted.  Let the bastard leave her, the sooner the better.  There was no love lost between Master and I.  Truth told I'm not sure that Mistress held him in any great regard either. My thoughts were cut off by Rosy's barbed question "You going to quit that scribblen and take this up while it's still warm?"  It cain't be but I'm going to ask Mistress anyhow.

                Rosy was right!  My mind is awhirl.  It can not be but Mistress says it is so.  When I entered Mistress' quarters this morning she caught one whiff of the food and promptly dry heaved into the chamber pot.  I set the tray on the table "Is it true?"

Mistress curled up into a little ball of misery "Three weeks."

Mistress raised her head to smile in amusement at my open mouthed astonishment.  The twinkling eyes belied the deep hollows under them.  God save us but she looked frail and tired.  I spooned some honey into the tea even though I know she don't like it that a way.  She took it without comment and starred glumly at the fine china cup.

"You drink that while it's still warm."

She gingerly tasted it and then waited several seconds before attempting another sip.

I mustered my courage "I didn't think your kind could bear children."

"They certainly should not and can not without a great deal of difficulty and danger" Mistress replied while taking nibbles of toast that would not satisfy an undersized mouse.

"Mama always said the sickness was worst in the first month and then goes away."

Mistress only sighed and took another sip of tea.

"Has this ever happened before?"

"Once, though you will not find it in the Chronicles and the Watchers will not believe you.  If you report this for 217 years every word you have written will be considered the ravings of a mad woman."

I shrugged "I swore an Oath to report the truth.  It doesn't matter if they believe it."

How in the name of God did Ari-El know the Watchers wouldn't take anything in the Hawke Chronicle seriously for exactly 217 years?  Spooky, damn spooky.

Mistress set the toast back on the tray barely touched.  "You should finish any outstanding reports today.  You, Ethan and I will be leaving as soon as Matthew McCormack arrives this afternoon and it will be sixteen months before you will be able to send another."

I took the tray back down to the kitchen and wandered back to my quarters up the back stairs to pack.  My mind is full to brimming with questions and I'm fair jittering with nerves.  I suppose my next report will be reaching you sometime after August 1792.

April 5, 1791 

Report in absentia – Somewhere in the ether

It's so beautiful.  Even after seeing all Master Ethan's globes and all of Captain Walker's maps and charts

It's amazing how quickly a single name can completely wreck your train of thought.   I glanced at the clock and decided not to call Amy a second time in a week in the wee hours of the morning and sent another email asking how in the world Talia had ended up in contact with Morgan Walker?

I never would have pictured what the earth looks like from 100 miles above.  She's a beautiful green and blue jewel hung in a setting of velvet black.

"I never get tired of seeing her from here, not even after thousands of years."

One would think that after 15 years with Mistress I would be use to her appearing out of nowhere and scarring the wits out of me but I ain't.  The Chronicles note Mistress as in excess of 1200 with true age unknown.  That comment makes her at least two, maybe even more than three thousand years old.  I should be impressed, perhaps even overwhelmed but the centuries ain't important.  Not compared to this.  That I should stand were angels fear to tread in a vessel crafted to sail the sky is beyond anything I ever thought to dream of.  Mistress looks far happier.  Not well, mind you, but happier.  Master Ethan just looked utterly lost and frightened before he retired to his quarters.

"It's his first time away from Earth, too."

I have on the other hand gotten use to her answering questions I haven't asked yet.

"I would have left him to run the plantation but unfortunately I need him."  She drew in a sharp gasp followed by several deep measured breaths.

"Did the other have this much trouble?"

"No, but Riv had me as her helpmeet and I was never designed with childbearing in mind."  The great black cat at her feet butted his head against her hand demanding attention.  She smiled as she sank her fingers into his woolly coat.  I'd been nearly scarred to death when the pair of them had met us at the pritar.  Mistress could have warned me but then if my face looked anything like Master Ethan's I can understand why not.  God but I thought the man was going to climb one of the walls when that big, golden cat opened wide and licked his face.  I reached down tentatively with my left hand to scratch?  I glanced over at Mistress.

"Menheyet" she supplied

To scratch Menheyet behind his black and white tipped ears.  His purr is enough to make writing nearly impossible.  I will continue this report later.

Somewhere in the ether – April 8, 1791

I don't know what I expected my first alien to look like but put the man on the screen before us in work duds and he could have passed through a field without a second glance.  His smile was bright enough to cause permanent blindness.

"Natasta a El Auria, Ab-El."

"Natasta e Guilanar."

I felt a flutter of panic.  How would I talk to these people?  When Mistress had explained that we were going to another world beneath another star it had never occurred to me that they wouldn't speak English.  It was a powerful shortsighted assumption and right foolish.

"Nar ni akilia tapatof hostanda?" the man asked

Mistress's reply was also jibberish.  By the end of the short conversation I was near to panicking.  It was horribly silly.  Mistress would translate for me but the fear remained – unreasoning and unreasonable.  I followed Mistress and Master Ethan to the Natar and made the disorienting descent onto El Auria.

May 3rd (Ashtoth Nitar) – El Auria

                I find it difficult to believe that nearly a month has passed since I first arrived in a panic.  Those first few frantic days now seem a distant nightmare.  How could I have known that this world would so quickly become dearer to me than the one I left behind.  The strange faces and strange manners have become familiar and precious.  I must admit though that I am still furious with Mistress.  After two weeks of frantic lessons, embarrassment and panic she casually informed me that 'your earring can act as a translation device.'  It was only today that I was finally able to speak to her again.  When I finally asked why she hadn't told me before she gave me an earnest look. 

"Because you would have relied on it and would never have learned to speak El Aurian and that would have been a disservice both to them and to you.  Technology is a wonderful thing Talia but it should never replace experience."

I was tempted to slap her, but she looked so terribly frail.  A few women never appear more alive than when they're in the family way, some take it in stride, most endure it, and some it devours.  Mistress was fading before me leaving me to wonder if Master Ethan and I would be trapped on El Auria with its intriguing lavender sky and pale yellow sun.  I would not mind but I think Master Ethan would.

"No, neither of you will be trapped here."  Mistress again answered my unspoken question.

"I would not have allowed this if either I or the child would not survive.  Nor have I done this to myself on a whim.  Evangeline will serve in a crucial capacity in days to come."

I gave her a dubious look "You ain't going to last another six months."

"And that is why we are here, if I delivered today Evangeline would survive."

"Then Mistress you must."

"As much as I would like to if I deliver now Evangeline would not share enough of my gifts to shift the balance when her hour comes.  Do not frown so, your face is too fair to mar it.  I will deliver before my own condition deteriorates irreparably but I will need you assistance afterward since I will get none from Ethan."

June 24th

                I could weep though from joy or terror I do not know.  For better or for worse it is OVER!

Evangeline is such a tiny thing.  Small enough to fit in the palm of my hand if I could hold her that is.  The doctors rushed her off to the heliter as soon as she was born.  Mistress hasn't stirred for days.  Still.  So still.  A frighteningly complete stillness from where ever Immortals go when they're beyond the edge of death.  Three days.  If she's miscalculated I'll never forgive her.  I'm never going to forgive that bastard Ethan.  I thought he was going to hit her when Evangeline was born a girl.  Mistress had made no secret that Evangeline was a girl from the beginning.  The doctors here had told him but he scoffed at all of them until the birth.  He visibly struggled with his rage before stiffly conveying his disappointment and condolences to Mistress for the misfortune of Evangeline's sex.  He then had the gall to pronounce that the second venture might prove more profitable.  I swear he sounded like she was a brood mare and he meant to service her right there in the delivery bed.  When she informed him that there was to be no second attempt he rebutted with a patronizing platitude about her forgetting all about the discomfort once she held the child.   When a second more forceful denial was forthcoming he moved to slap her.  I didn't even think.  I hit him.  I hit a white man.  I hit my Master.  And he dropped like a sack of rocks and it felt damn good!

A weak chuckle rose from the bed "I think it may have been worth it just for the looks on your faces."

There was a genuine smile on Mistress's wane face and her eyes were merry in spite of being sunk deep in their sockets.  Shaken I merely stared back.  The eyes grew even merrier.  I was just trying to frame a reply when her eyes fluttered shut and her breath sighed out.  Which brings me to where I am now, nearly three days later in a vigil by her side.  Guilanar has repeatedly encouraged me to leave for a few hours to rest but I can not.  What good it does for me to sit by her side and hold her cold ivory hand I do not know but I don't know what else to do.   As I trace the grey veins and wish for her normal golden hue to replace the blue tint her skin has taken it strikes me that the ravages of the last few weeks largely spared her hands.  They are paler yes but not wasted.  Odd.  I carefully replace her hand on the coverlet.  I am not sure how much longer I can sit here, already I am nigh to weeping, though whether in anger, sorrow, or frustration I can not tell.

June 25th 1791

ALIVE! Mistress began to breathe again in the night.  I'm not sure what alerted the physicians first their machines or my whoop of joy.  It is with a much lighter heart that I continue to watch as the gray is replaced by her natural rosy gold.

June 26th 1791

My exhaustion finally got the better of me and I slept.  When I awoke Mistress's empty bed gave me a horrible fright.  A firm hand pushed me back against the mattress.

"Rest"

I shook my head fighting sleep.

"Tally" she smiled gently "I have eaten, two veritan and a nitosh if you care to journal it and rested.  I am only going to the helitar to see Evangeline."

"Master Ethan?"

"Will remain in custody until I deem fit to deal with him.  Rest assured he will make no reprisals against you."

"But Mistress he is your husband."

Mistress smiled unpleasantly "I chose Ethan for his bloodline and now he has served his purpose.  If he chooses to be foolish it will not trouble me to become a widow."

She gently tucked a blanket around my shoulders "Now rest and leave tomorrow to me."

September 21st 1791

                I have searched high and low but I can not find Mistress.  Just as I was beginning to become desperate Maher appeared at my side.  I do declare if Mistress herself isn't sneaking up on me then one of her trice blasted cats is.  He blinked his great golden eyes at me and then led me like a great black shadow into the gardens.  If Maher hadn't almost tripped me I would never have noticed Mistress on the ledge above me.  Back on Earth I had never noticed Mistress's love of awkward and dangerous perches but here in the mountains of Rwazro she never seemed to be anywhere accessible.  Maher joined his spotted brother in two fluid leaps.  I remained on the ground, watching, jealous of his feline grace.  It occurred to me again how much Mistress moved like the big cats I had discovered were her constant companions.  She glared at Maher before gesturing for me to join her on the ledge.  I swallowed before tackling the steep climb.

                Mistress was at her most lovely as she reclined with Evangeline at her bosom.  I found a slightly less precarious niche and settled down to wait.  Mistress was singing a gentle lullaby that the earring did not translate.  Evangeline sighed and snuggled more deeply into her mother's arms.  Mistress did not acknowledge me for several moments after the song faded away. 

"My mother composed it the day she conceived and began singing it to me a few weeks afterward."

"Can you remember so far back?"

Her smile held more pain than mirth "The Quickening never forgets, not what is, not what was, not what will be." She sighed "and not what might have been.  I do not often look back nor dwell upon lost opportunities there is too little profit in it.  But I carry the weight of the dead and today they are heavy."

Her eyes flickered up to mine "A child should know her family, do you not agree?"

"Yes" I answered tentatively as another set of hands lifted Evangeline from Mistress's arms and cooed to her in the same unknown tongue.  As she straightened up I met eyes that were an exact match for Mistress's in a face that was nearly a mirror of her own.  A second glance revealed the differences, the lines of laughter and age, the touch of silver at the temples, the slightly crooked nose and the too wide brow that rendered her short of Mistress's perfection.  Could this be real?  Could a woman thousands of years dead be standing in front of me?  Yet who else could she be?

My God!  I felt a shiver go up my spine at the implications.  What WERE the limits of the Quickening?  For generations the Watchers and Immortals alike have been told that Immortals receive power and knowledge in the Quickening but Duncan, Amanda, and Richie all claimed to receive only fleeting images.  (Methos was of course at his most enigmatic when I finally summoned the courage to ask.)  We have never really had anything concrete on either the Quickening or the Prize.  I suppose we still don't but our wildest speculations didn't come close to anything like this.  I returned to my reading still shaken.

She seemed very happy for a dead woman as she smiled at me with an open unguarded joy that I'd never seen in Mistress.  She threw back her head and began to sing and I learned that unlike Mistress she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.  Mistress winked at me and rolled her eyes at her mother fondly before beginning to sing herself.   The two voices twined around each other rising higher and higher before spiraling down into silence.  Mistress handed her mother three pots, one of ocher, one of woad, and one that I could not identify and she marked a symbol on Evangeline's tiny chest in blue, gold, and red.

I nearly fell out of my chair.  My fingers trembled as they traced the symbol Talia had innocently recorded.

Somehow I think Amanda was the only one to read this particular Chronicle but, maybe, no, Mac had definitely not seen this.  Which left me in one hell of a quandary, do I call Mac and tell him, or do I play it by ear when Ari-El shows up tonight?  Cause I sure as hell had some tough questions for our enigmatic guest.  Now I definitely wish tonight's little soirée was being held on Holy Ground.  I pulled my second favorite gun (since I'd failed to reclaim my favorite from Mac) out of my desk drawer, checked the clip, and pulled out my shoulder holster.   I wasn't quite frankly sure whether I was dreading or looking forward to the thought I might have to use it.  I glanced up at the clock again.  I should really sleep.  I didn't even want to think about how few hours I'd slept since Mac burst in on Monday but somehow I doubted I'd be able to sleep after this.  Besides I didn't feel tired, in fact I felt better than I had in years.  I let my eyes settle on that hated symbol and continued reading.

                Mistress knelt to receive Evangeline back from her mother but a hand on her shoulder halted her rise.      Her mother placed both hands on the crown of Mistress's dark head and began to bless her.  Mistress raised her head abruptly and opened her mouth as if to protest but her mother touched a gentle finger to her lips and she subsided with a meekness I would never have expected in my steely Mistress.  When she was finished she pulled Mistress to her feet and into a fierce embrace.  She caught my eye across Mistress's shoulder with a look that needed no words.  I nodded my agreement as she vanished.

                Mistress sighed and kissed the golden down on Evangeline's head.  A single tear slid down her cheek "I never intended that she should die.  She should have been my first rasha, she, Veshra, and Cain. Instead my father slaughtered my mother, my brother killed me, and I executed my sister, it was a lovely day."   There was a waver in her voice that I had never heard before "I could have her back at my side.  It is within my Power, but there is a price to be paid, there always is.  I would pay it but she will not allow it.  She is right, her presence would confer no vital advantage to alleviate the cost and yet I am tempted."  She swallowed and let Evangeline capture her forefinger in her tiny fist. 

"I suppose we should join the party."

"Party?"

"For my natal day.  948 years ago I let Guilanar's grandfather 'trick' me into telling him.  I have rarely seen anyone so pleased with himself.  A favor, if you please, it has become something of a game over the centuries for them to guess my age and for me to be evasive, so kindly play dumb to any knowledge of my age."

I nodded as Mistress straightened as if throwing off a weight before leaping nimbly off the ledge.  I followed more slowly while the great cats romped ahead of us.

                Given the El Aurians reserved dignity I had expected a quite affaire, nothing could have been further from the truth.  Mistress threw herself into the dance with a lighthearted abandon that belied her earlier melancholy.  It was some hours later when she came to nurse Evangeline.  While she was busy I fetched us both plates.

"Lavran is toxic to humans."

I looked at my plate, there wasn't a dish on it we'd had in the months we'd been here.  Mistress pointed to leafy greens.

"You also have tapinuf, mampreem, and tipturi.  You don't have to hold Evangeline all evening, Amsha would be quite please to relieve you."

I shifted, uncomfortable with the idea of being served, "It looks right agreeable."

Mistress's eyes were dancing, all traces of sorrow erased.

"They go through a great deal of trouble, it would be very selfish of me not to enjoy it.  Talia, until the Law of the Universe changes sorrow is inevitable but all the sorrow under the stars can not take your joy if you will not yield it.  The great destroyer of my kind is not the Game but despair and so I will cling to hope and to joy even if my stars fail and the Universe itself is lost around me."  She held Evangeline up before her "Remember that Nai'oh'mai."

"I thought you named her Evangeline."

"'Good news' I have called her and 'good news' she will be to those she saves, but Nai'oh'mai, cling to joy she is between us."  The light in her eyes dimmed "It is a largely futile gesture on my part to turn aside a tragedy 216 years away."  She handed Evangeline to Amsha and pulled me out of my seat "Enough.  No more might have beens or yet to be's tonight." 

I slipped back off the dance floor after two dances and glared at Mistress's untouched plate.  I swear I don't know how the woman even survives, Immortal or no, on so little sustenance.   The tapinuf was quite good and reminded me of chicken.  Mistress might have warned me about the mampreen, it might not be toxic but is sure ain't edible neither.  Mistress makes me tuckered just Watching, the woman never stops.  Well  Mistress might be able to dance all night but Miss Evangeline and I need our sleep.

August 1st 1792

                I have never in all my born days been so sorry to leave a place.  It's gonna be right hard to go back to being a proper slave after mor'n a year of being honored as Mistress's second.  Master Ethan had the good sense not to Challenge Mistress.  I ain't rightly sure if I'm glad or disappointed.  Master Ethan ain't an evil man like that bastard Walker but ain't a good man neither if you follow me.

Mistress Evangeline has just begun to walk and her speech is becoming clearer every day. Such old, wise eyes.  No child should have such knowing eyes. If I did not have such faith in Mistress's wisdom I would fear for all our lives.  The child is uncanny and even in our progressive and modern age there would still be a witch trial. 

"You assume that we are returning to the plantation" Mistress spoke from her form fitted command chair.  The thing gives me the creeps, it looks like it grew out of the floor and wrapped itself around her.  "In truth we are only pausing long enough to return Ethan before continuing on to Betazed, followed by Sora, Vulcan, Kat'Rel, Bajor, and Klingon.  Along the way we will spend time with the Calamorain, the Orgainians, the Salat, and the Ni'pon."

The newborn Guinan fussed in her mother's arms.  Guilanar smiled dotingly on his firstborn before speaking to Mistress "Interesting choices."

"More than you know."  Mistress rebutted enigmatically.

 "May we accompany you to the surface?"

Mistress shook her head "We will only be down briefly to allow me to contact my agents, let Talia submit her report, and return Ethan to the surface.  It would be best if you remain aboard this time.  I'll give you the grand tour later when Guinan and Evangeline are older."

September 1804

                While I could have stayed on El Auria for the rest of my life some of the other worlds were downright terrifying, a few were pleasant but none of them were home.  Of course India is nearly as alien, if the same moon hadn't been shining down on me I would never have believed we were back.  I do wonder if anyone reads these reports or if they are just tossed away.  Be right sad if they were.  Miss Evangeline just let out an ungodly shriek – I best find out what's wrong.

                Miss Evangeline is seething at Mistress.  I would never have guessed that under Miss Evangeline's quiet, gentle, patience there was a spitting wild cat.  What an explosion of fury when Mistress asked Guilanar and his family to return to El Aria without us.  Mistress weathered Miss Evangeline's storm as calmly as a Vulcan philosopher while Miss Evangeline howled like a Klingon.  In the end Mistress had her way and here we are in war torn Europe.  While my own faith in Mistress is unshakable Miss Evangeline questions her every move.  My mother would have had her behind the woodshed so fast she would have met herself coming.  Mistress is more patient but I can see the sparks in her eyes.

"Tempering steel is a fine art."  Mistress said behind me.  "It is my intention that Evangeline should be self-reliant, independent, confident, and resilient. I fear I have failed."

December 1807

                I do believe that Miss Evangeline turned more heads at the ball than Mistress herself.  The young officers were throwing themselves at her feet.  Miss Evangeline accepted their adulation graciously while Mistress enjoyed the reprieve.   I'm still not sure which side of this war we are on, French, Russian, Spanish, or British.  Of course it wasn't until the war back home was won that I was sure we were on the Rebellion's side.  Yea God what a party she and Master Ethan threw after Yorktown!  Mind you I think she worked harder on the reconstruction than on the war itself.  She alternately calls America her great experiment or the infernal thorn in her side.

April 1814

                Apparently we were on the British side.  Mistress has taken on a new student, a raw British major named Richard Sharpe.  She calls him her diamond, hard but brittle and with a certain sparkle.  Miss Evangeline and her new husband are leaving tomorrow to take possession of his maternal grandfather's estate.  I like Master Diego Montrose, not that it matters, but I like him just the same.  Mistress likes him too.  She tries not to show it but I know better.  Miss Evangeline is deliriously happy.  You would think that a woman who spent her childhood sailing among the stars wouldn't be nervous about sailing across the sea. 

                I never realized just how much Mistress loathes the sea.  She didn't even see Miss Evangeline to the boat but said her farewells before we even spotted so much as a seagull.  Master Diego is rather confused as to how Mistress can simultaneously swear that we will join them in California in five years and that she will not set foot on a ship ever again.

September 1819

                We arrived in California just in time to reassure a very nervous expectant father.  Fortunately Miss Evangeline is having a far easier time than Mistress.

October 1819

                Such a glorious set of lungs!  I do believe that Miss Catherine has achieved perfect pitch.  Less than a week old and already she has Master Diego wound around her little finger.  It hurts a little to see them so happy together.  I wonder whatever happened to Remus.  I've started to ask Mistress a dozen times only to loose my nerve.  The generous part of me hopes he found someone else and is happy but the selfish part hopes he's still pining for me. 

"Ah, young love" Mistress sighed behind me.  I didn't even start this time.  "It's never worth the grief it causes."

"I thought you didn't believe in love."

Mistress looked down from our balcony at the trio in the courtyard.  "Most of what mortals think is love is passion or need or fondness.  Real love is terribly rare.  It bears all things, believes all things, no betrayal can alter it, it never fades or alters.  The wound of its loss never heals.  Any wise Immortal should flee from it.  Mortals spend their whole lives seeking it never realizing it is a devouring flame."

"Old cynic."

It wasn't until Mistress glanced at me that I realized that I'd said it aloud.  Or maybe I hadn't.  She caught my eye and smiled "It's about time, just because I'm never wrong does not necessarily mean that I'm always right."

Miss Evangeline laughed below us.

"I tried to warn her but she was not listening to a word I said.  The joy of parenting, you try to teach them what you know, show them the right path and then they just have to get on with destroying themselves."

Another laugh drifted up from below.

"They seem very happy."

"Today, tomorrow, ten more children, and thirty-seven years.  Then he will die and she will never recover, not really."

"If you know."

"It isn't that simple, it never is."

"Allie I know that you're up there brooding, get down here."

Mistress smiled down over the balcony "I hear and obey."  And then she mortified Master Diego by vaulting over the railing and landing lightly in front of them.

"Senorita! You will do yourself harm."

"No, she won't" Miss Evangeline rebutted while depositing Miss Catherine in her grandmother's arms.  Mistress cradled the baby; they shared a smile I could have sworn was conspiratorial.

"There's someone I'd like you to meet" she told the infant far too seriously while walking back through the hacienda.

"Guinan!" Evangeline exclaimed rushing past all of us to embrace the young woman.  Breaking free she turned to Mistress "How?"

Mistress just smiled like the cat that ate the canary "I still have a few tricks you don't know."

"Diego" we turned back to the young Master who was staring slack jawed.  He recovered quickly under Miss Evangeline's pointed stare and graciously invited Guinan into the hacienda.

"Any friend of Ailell and Evangeline is welcome."

As Miss Evangeline led Guinan back into the house chatting animatedly Master Diego turned to Mistress with his eyes full of questions.

"They grew up together and have missed one another greatly.  Guinan's father is a prince of El Auria.  Her escort is still at the stable.  I beg your pardon for not warning you but I wished to surprise 'Vang"

Master Diego nodded dully "The prince of El Auria, then she's of good blood."

Mistress straitened to her full impressive height and looked down her nose at Diego "I do not associate with less than the best."

 

I awoke with a start on the cot I kept in the back.

"For the record Joe" Methos chided "drool is not good for keyboards."

He set a plate of scrambled eggs and a cup of coffee in front of me.

"Feeling rested?"

I ignored him in favor of inhaling the eggs.

"Appetite's back I see."  He commented from the grill. "Color's better, the circles under your eyes are gone for the first time in years.  You just might live a little while longer after all."

I was going something sarcastic in response but something in Methos' expression stopped me.  It was in that instant I realized that I didn't ache.  The pain had become a vicious cycle.  I don't much care for pills so I made alcohol my painkiller of choice, except the alcohol was part of the problem.  I like to think that I've learned to mask pain well, neither Amy, Mac, or anyone else seemed to notice.  No one except Methos that is, he wasn't fooled for an instant.  He'd been subtly (and on occasion not so subtly) badgering me.  Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, if a doctor didn't actually tell me that I was killing myself by inches then  it wasn't really happening.  Until this moment though I hadn't realized just how badly I'd felt.  It was if I had been reborn in the night.

"Those eggs are going to get cold if you just keep staring at them."  Methos had a silly little smile on his face every time he looked at me.  The Old Man might talk a good talk about 'we're all dying' and 'he can handle it' but as far as I can tell he grieves just as hard as the rest of us.  I was touched, so I did the manly thing - I hid behind my eggs.

"You might want to bath, the fun starts in less than two hours."

I glanced at the clock in shock "I slept for over fourteen hours?!"
Methos shrugged "I peeled you off you computer at 4AM.  And I'd bet good money that it was the first good sleep you've had in two years."

"Closer to three."

Methos tossed me one of Ari's jars.  I caught it on pure reflex and glared at him.

"This is probably priceless."

He smiled irreverently "A lot of things are priceless Joseph but that isn't one of them.  It's not even his best work."

"Giving me bargain basement stuff, huh?"

"Amy Z called, she says."

"Ho, ho, ho.  Amy Z spoke to you?  Civilly?"

Methos looked confused "We always got on very well when we both worked for Don."

"That was before she got the job of fixing the mess you made of your Chronicles."  And heard about the whole Horseman thing I added to myself.

"What mess?" he asked with wounded innocence.  "Oh, you mean my corrections.  They were a selfless act in the interest of historical accuracy."

"Like all that purple prose about 'faire Charlotte' was setting the record straight?"

I was caught off guard by his angry reply "Who was Jesse Benoit to pass judgement on either of us?  Walker bought her at twelve to be his concubine.  You've never been a slave Dawson" he snapped "You have no idea what it's like to have your body owned by someone else to do with what they will.  In her whole damn life she made one choice for herself and she died for it.  And I don't give a bloody damn what that arrogant little prick who was my Watcher at the time thought.  She did watch me for years and I would have bought her from Walker but he would have killed her before he sold her."

"So you just screwed her and left her with the consequences" I swear the words just slipped out and I seeing the look on Methos' face I'd have given a year of my life to have them back.

"I truly only thought he'd beat her, I never thought he'd toss her out the BLOODY WINDOW!  I should have known, I really should have but I'm not perfect Joe.  Part of me wanted to take his head with my bare hands."

"Why didn't you?"

All the air seemed to go out of him "Because I was trying to be a doctor Joe.  Trying to save a few lives, not take them.  Because a Challenge is always a risk and while I'll occasionally put my life on the line for the living I won't do it for the dead.  Go get cleaned up Joe."

I watched him as he turned away from me and back to the stove.  Mac and I had both been rather surprised when Methos volunteered to do tonight's cooking, though for very different reasons.  Mac assumed that because Methos' fridge generally contained nothing but beer and condiments that he couldn't cook.  I on the other hand had learned that Methos was in fact a better cook than Mac himself but that he hated to do it almost as much as he hated boats.   I reached over and snagged my cane and legs and wandered toward the shower while Methos muttered curses in dead languages at the stove.

                I emerged from the shower whistling, from the glance Methos gave me I assumed I'd been forgiven for my less than tactful comments earlier.

"Yes, AmyZ spoke to me, she was quite coolly civil and she says she has no idea what you're talking about.  All of the revolutionary war data was downloaded into your laptop."

"No it isn't" I protested as I tried to turn on my laptop.  Nothing.

"Apparently drool isn't good for laptops either." 

"Damn it.  I just got this." I muttered "Maybe it's just the connection."

"Nope."

I glared a Methos "You tried it while I was asleep."

Methos tested the contents of one of the pots.  "Needs more garlic."

"Methos?"

"I was bored, it was there."  His eyes flicked to the door.  I started to rise but hell, if it was Amanda she'd have the lock picked by now.

"Methos, Joe we're home."  She sailed in with a half dozen balloons and immediately stuck her nose in dinner "Mmm, smells wonderful, I told Mac you could cook."

Mac trailed in looking sheepish.

"So you brought peso?  That should compliment the rest nicely.  Amanda would you mind getting the table ready?"

                Mac parked in the back with me while Methos and Amanda fussed over the table.  Methos wandered back in a few minutes later and sprawled across the bench.  He'd gotten himself a long-neck but he seemed more intent on picking at the label than in drinking it.

"Are you boys going to join me?"

Just as we cleared the threshold all three Immortals paused.  Amanda walked across to the door while Mac and Methos hung back.  Ari-El was once more in dark blue offset by just a touch of gold – talk about being color fixated.  I decided to hate him on general principle – nobody should look that good.  Amanda frowned and sulkily offered Guinan a box.  I could see why Amanda'd been tempted the rich purple center stone was bigger than a quail's egg and the platinum setting was a work of art.  Guinan accepted the broach with more grace than Amanda had given it and pinned it to her lavender blouse.

"I have something for you as well" Ari-El handed Amanda a bouquet of pale blue flowers. 

"Rebecca" Amanda said and inhaled deeply "They smell like Rebecca."

"They are call kiva.  They are a sport by-product of a plant I was genetically engineering.  I had intended to discard them but Riv loved the scent so I continued to grow them."

"What's this?" Amanda whispered as she pulled something free of the bouquet.

"Something better to remember Riv by than that overrated piece of quartz."

Amanda pulled the blue diamond ring free of its lacquered case and clasped it to her chest.

"I looked for this after, but.  Why didn't you come to the funeral?"

"I doubted my ability to be anything approaching gracious to the man responsible for my wife's death."

"Luther wasn't at the funeral."  I was as confused as Amanda.

"Not Luther, John." 

OK now I was truly lost.

"Luther took her head."

"Luther took her head but John took her life."

"Are you certain that isn't jealousy?" Mac asked.

Ari-El response was cool but not cold "I never from the time I raised her from the dust in Kanish wished Rivkah anything but the absolute best whether it included me or not.  I was never jealous of her love for John but love and Immortality is a poor mix particularly when the Immortal loves and the mortal does not."  He placed a case of wine on the table "Happy birthday, Joseph Dawson."

I shook my head "You tell me I can't drink and then give me wine?"

"Not wine Joe" Methos spoke for the first time "ambrosia."  He picked up one of the bottles and glanced at Ari-El for permission.  Ari nodded.  Methos unstopped the bottle, inhaled slowly, and flicked his eyes to Ari-El in surprise "This is over a thousand years old."

"Well over.  And Joe, I told you one glass of wine a day.  Ambrosia while quite intoxicating in its own right contains no alcohol and poses no biochemical threat to your health."  Guinan caught his attention and then flicked her eyes to Methos.

"Your pardon, Guinan. Ad-am may I present my Student" the capital S in student was unmistakable "Guinan, Guinan Ad-am is a former Student and erstwhile companion."  The tone was carefully, utterly neutral conveying neither censure nor fondness.

"Former Student?" Guinan echoed appraising Methos "I didn't know you had any former Students that were still breathing.  Did you actually learn all that he could teach or did you exasperate him to the point that he cut you loose?"

Methos flushed scarlet. 

"A little of both" Ari supplied into Methos' silence. 

"Are you hungry?" Amanda asked.

"Famished, I've spent the day with Ari" Guinan replied

Ari pulled six delicate fluted crystal glasses from a second case and poured a measure of the pale golden ambrosia into each.  Methos studied the glass Ari set before him.

"Nissim is still doing your glass work I see."

"Very little changes in Aratta." Ari responded flatly. "Shall we have a toast?"

"To good friends" Mac said as we rose.  The glasses rang like perfectly pitched bells and then I took a sip.  The nectar of the Gods indeed.  I noticed the look on Guinan's face was a mirror of 'Manda and Mac's, apparently Ari-El didn't share the good stuff much and I had at least two gallons sitting on my bar.  I took a second sip letting the smooth slightly sweet liquid roll over my tongue before swallowing.  I suddenly felt sorry for Methos 'cause no meal could compete with this.  Now I know why some of the old myths insist that the gods partook of nothing but ambrosia, who would want anything else?  I wanted to protest when Methos corked the bottle and returned it to the cask.  The glance he shot Ari was almost reproachful before he started filling plates.  Guinan recovered first as she accepted her plate from Methos.  Mac and 'Manda needed more prodding but were quickly refocused.  'Manda took another sip before turning back to Ari

"What is this made of?"

"Amlisar, it is an extremely demanding and delicate plant to grow even in Aratta and it will grow nowhere else, not even in Shangri-La."

"Should you really serve four thousand year old ambrosia to an Immortal one tenth that age?"  Methos asked acidly.

"Still coddling the boy?  Don't worry your Highlander may be as slow as an ox but he is also as strong as one, not only will he take no lasting harm he will be strengthened."   Ari's replies to Methos were still utterly neutral in tone.  I glanced at Mac, he did look a little glassy-eyed but then so did Amanda.  If anything Methos looked sharper than usual.  I couldn't detect any change in Guinan.  Amanda took a bite of her food oblivious to the by-play between Methos and Ari-El.  I nudged Mac who glanced at me before starting to eat.

"I still don't understand how did John kill Rebecca?" Amanda asked suddenly.

"May I?" he asked pointing at the crystal around Amanda's neck.  She passed it to him.  He wrapped the chain around his hand, letting the crystal itself hang in front of him. 

"Would you like to see?"

"Yes."

I was utterly unprepared for what happened next.  I have heard several Immortals talk about the intensity of flashbacks but the sensations were overwhelming as I was suddenly immersed in another mind.  It was like being sucked into a whirlwind.  I was utterly drowning in the vastness of the Universe when abruptly I was plucked from the maelstrom and steady in a moment of time.  I was still aware of the rest but it had been pushed into a background whisper.  I had expected to see Luther and Rebecca at the ruins instead I stood beside a freshly filled grave.   I held the woman weeping in my arms a little more tightly, understanding her pain but relieved that the sham of the last few decades was over.

"How can I live now that she is gone?"

I felt the question send icy fingers up my spine as I Watched Rivkah's futures unfold before me.  I Saw her throw her life away in a dozen different ways still fixated with the thought that a woman's worth could only be reckoned in her children.  To leave the Stone in her keeping would eventually place her in a different danger but it alone would provide the necessary link to sustain her across the centuries to come.  I took a graceful step back and nearly pulled myself out of the flashback in surprise.  I suddenly wanted to run.  Ari-El's mental 'voice' was sympathetic but held no pity "This is a flashback and I am not Warren Cochran to remake history" he 'said' as he pushed me back into the flow of the past.  I cupped her chin, encouraging her to lift her head while being careful not to force her to.

"Do you not understand, Riv, our students are our children?"

"But the Game" she protested.

"Any Quickened who kills in the name of the Game before the hour I Call the Gathering is a cold blooded murderer, nothing forces a Challenge but pride and greed.  Don't let the Game stop you from caring for others of our kind."

I wrapped her fingers around the shards of the stone "There are things older and more powerful than us."

I went very still and quiet while she stared at the shards in her hands.  I already knew what her choice would be, had know before I spoke, had known we would stand here since the day I saved them from the Horsemen, but that never stopped me from holding my breathe in apprehension at the actual moment.    Nor did knowing that her choice today would be life ease the temptation to ensure her survival.  It would be so horribly easy to order the world to my own will.  There was no one, human, Quickened, Kindred or alien under the Sun that could stand against my Voice or my Touch should I choose to wield them as a weapon.  My great temptation, not to craft a Utopia based on the Universe's most cheerful slaves.  The foreseen moment came as she nodded her acceptance.  I cast my thoughts ahead as she let me comfort her, watching the possibilities unfold.  The direct paths, those that Fate had set in stone that no mortal could alter and that any Quickened challenged at their own peril, and the forks in the road where Chance and Chaos made their own assaults on Fate and gave we who lived under Her thumb the opportunities to freely choose and change our fates.  I watched her take Luther as her student, I watched his greed for the crystals grow, I watched him die in a dozen different Challenges.  His sword was no match for the minglai sword forged by my own hand nor was Rivkah my equal as a teacher, in any future in which the Challenge involved an actual fight Rivkah was inevitably the winner.  There was but one problem, John Bowers.  Fate decreed their meeting.  No matter how I altered events at Chance's rare pivot points they met and she invariably loved him.  Horrifying enough that a Quickened should have agape love for a mortal but that that mortal should return that love only as eros was a tragedy of staggering proportions that it should be my gracious Rivkah was like a sword thrust.  With a heavy heart I followed the few remaining possibilities open to Rivkah.  I watched him destroy her…

"Promise me something, you'll leave me before I get too old." I heard his words but I also knew the thoughts behind them 'Leave me so that I don't have to leave you'.

"You are in a good mood" was Riv's rebuttal.

"I'm serious.  Listen Rebecca you deserve a younger man."  'And I deserve someone whose very presence doesn't constantly remind me of my own mortality.'  His resentment soured every thought of Rivkah.

"I have a younger man" Rebecca returned.

"Rebecca two things"

"John" she interrupted him taking hold of his lapels "You are the love of my life."

"Oh?" I felt her words gratify John's ego, tasted his pleasure, a pleasure that had nothing to do with love and everything to do with pride.  I hated him, not because she loved him but because he would trample that most precious gift under foot and break this fragile creature I had rescued from the dust of Kanish irreparably.  He let her continue making a fool of herself.

"You are the love of a dozen lifetimes and I don't care if you're twenty-three or fifty-three or a hundred and three, I am never going to leave you."

As she kissed him he marveled at what such a declaration meant, that this exquisite creature should call him the love of a four thousand-year existence.  It almost made it worth staying with her, almost.  It nearly made him recant, but not quite.

He drew a deep breath "Rebecca, two things."

"You are persistent, today."

"I'm leaving you Rebecca, I can't stay.  I'm sorry."  I trembled with barely contained rage, knowing the full extent of his betrayal which Rebecca would also discover shortly but his deeds were only details and I skipped rapidly along the flow of time to the result…

"Rebecca?"  Amanda shook her mentor, her voice edged with desperation but got no response.  I had already made my own futile attempt, Amanda would fare no better.  We are all in many ways the summation of our scars and the privation of Kanish had left Rivkah with a fatal one, like Methos, Kronos, Moshe, and Caspian she was eventually consumed by hers.  The thought of him momentarily strengthened my link with Methos.  He was enjoying dinner with Caspian, dinner wasn't having nearly as much fun.  I shied away from the contact.  At least Riv would imploded instead of explode and my efforts would give her 4164 good years.  It was not nearly enough.  It was inevitable that another would come for her.  Amanda fell defending her, Riv never even blinked.  This could not be Riv's fate, it would not.  I was Quickened, we alone could defy and redefine Fate.  The side of my soul that was not, had never been, and would never be human struck with a savage fury.  How DARE I court the danger changing a set Fate would bring!  The scourging pain that accompanied the Other's rage swept over me but I had long since learned that stoic endurance was the best course.  I could taste the Other's seething resentment that It's own fate was in my hands.  That the soul never should have survived First Death as any more than a shell still held the high ground.  I relaxed into the barrage, letting peace supplant anger until the Other's strength was spent.  I also yielded to the truth beneath the fury, it was too great a risk to save Riv but Amanda's fate was not set.  This could be changed, Chaos and Chance had given me an opportunity earlier, I could change when Luther Challenged Rivkah.  She would die for John not because of John.  She would die unbroken and Amanda would live when the Highlander killed Luther.   A better end, so be it.  The Other scathingly pointed out that Chance and Chaos granted us few opportunities to safely alter the future, to save Amanda was a waste.  I ignored it, I held the high ground, mine the final choice.   In 852 AD Riv would write me asking me to take the fledgling Amanda under my wing.   I would decline, Amanda was a thief, I was not.  There was nothing Amanda could learn from me that she could not learn elsewhere.  But Riv would also name Amanda her Heir and this put me under certain obligations to the girl including saving her when I could.  The Other was less than impressed but subsided.

                She stirred in my arms, "No tears, how can you not grieve?"

"Oh, I grieve" I did not finish the thought aloud 'I grieve for you, for Methos, for Kronos, for Imhotep, for Khinneret, for Moshe, and a score of others fallen before their times.  I have neither the time nor the desire to burden myself with more grief for a mortal who died long past her time.'  I held her as I felt the Other shift restlessly, out of patience with human rituals and niceties.  I sighed.  I had sealed Riv's fate, in It's estimation the matter was closed.  It had no time for the dead and to It Riv was as dead as Eveshka.  From now on the Other would begrudge every moment spent on her.  A single sharp comment would send Riv into a well-justified fury and I would leave, finally free to peruse the tasks for which I had been born and bred.  There was undoubtedly a better way, but I had long since learned which battles were worth fighting and when it was better to allow the Other to make an ass of us both. 

 

                I gulped the ambrosia in front of me, reeling from the abrupt change of perspective. 

"Careful, Joe" Methos glanced at Ari.  I got the distinct impression that Methos was less than pleased with him but lacked the guts to say it. 

"I'm going to reheat this" he snapped snatching a bowl and heading for the back.  Ari rose and graciously refilled the glasses with a second round of ambrosia.

"You killed Rebecca" I observed into the silence after waiting for several breaths in hopes that either Amanda or Mac would speak up but they were both more than a little glassy-eyed.

"No, I chose the time of her death." Ari corrected levelly "I did not force Luther to kill her, I even warned her against taking him as her Student."

"But if you knew…"

It surprised me that Guinan was the one to respond "The burden of true foresight, Joe.   The Law of Paradox states that Fate is unalterable.  History unfolds as it must, a time traveler can not actually alter history only establish what was always meant to be.  A prophet has knowledge without power."

"So we're all just puppets?" I grumped

"Yes and no.  You freely choose but the choice is already known and thus set. Only at the rare intervals when Chance or Chaos have briefly taken control from Fate can any real changes be made and in that moment the fate of the Universe can hang on the flutter of a butterfly's wing." Ari responded.

Methos rejoined us and glared at the refilled glasses.

Ari-El crossed his arms and dared Methos to say anything with his eyes.  Methos set the pot back on the table, silently.

"Son of BITCH" Amanda snapped suddenly. "Where is he?"

"He died in a crash a year later."  Ari replied.

"How could you let him live?  He told me he was there, he didn't tell me she died because of him.  He didn't tell me he already had a hussy on the side and had embezzled every cent she had.  I never knew he.  You knew, how could you let him walk away?"

Ari's reply was to Amanda but he was looking at Mac "I don't kill to avenge the dead only to save the living.  Besides, she loved him, and she bought his life, it wasn't my right to undo that for my own selfish gratification.  But I know myself and I could not be civil to him."

Guinan rose and dished food out onto Ari's empty plate.  He rose and went to where I'd left my guitars and Henri's base by the stage.  He glanced at me for permission.  I nodded.  He brought all three instruments and their stands back to the table.  He offered the second guitar to Methos. 

Methos licked his lips "I haven't touched an instrument since the night before we entered Sodom.  I can't play."

"Can't or won't?"

"I'm four thousand years out of practice and I've never touched a guitar in my life" he protested.

"And?"

Methos took the guitar.

Ari angled his chair toward Methos and played three dauntingly complicated measures that I would have had a damn hard time playing and I play every day.   My jaw dropped when Methos came one chord short of perfect playback.  It made me wonder what other talents the ROG as the Watchers had nicknamed him was hiding.  Ari played another complicated tune that Methos managed to match perfectly.  Then he started to play in earnest and I was attacked by the green-eyed monster.  I could handle the fact that he was beautiful, brilliant, and talented but damn it nobody should have this many gifts.  It just wasn't fair that he should also be a virtuoso with a voice the like of which I'd never heard with perfect pitch and a range from mid-tenor to the high end of soprano.  Methos' voice provided a well matched counter-point as their voices twined around each other in a song that they were clearly both familiar with.  In the course of a good fifteen minutes I think Methos hit three sour notes, not bad for a guy who was four thousand years out of practice on an instrument he'd never played.  He shifted uncomfortably under my scrutiny.  I'd made the mistake of assuming he was like Mac, an Immortal who enjoyed music but couldn't produce it.

"Joe, I'm just a guy."

I was very glad that Methos was looking at me and not at Ari-El when he said it because fury didn't even begin to cover what flared to life in his eyes when Methos spoke.

"Are you feeling alright?" Guinan asked "That was very flat."

Flat??!! I thought, I'd just heard the best technical guitar playing of my life and Guinan thought he sounded flat?

Ari shrugged.

"You play?" Mac asked thickly

"Not recently" Methos replied.

"Why not?"

Methos looked at Ari "There was no need with the Horsemen and when I finally left there was no music left in me."

"I think your nose is already long enough Pinocchio" Ari replied.

 "I couldn't, no I would not play, not if you could not.  I wouldn't even sing when I was a monk" he gave a rictus smile "I spent a century without speaking because the only way I could avoid singing was to take vows of silence."

"A great pity" Ari said "that you have let so much languish unused, so little to show for so many years."

Methos flushed scarlet.  "I'm glad to see that your eyes and hands regenerated."

I had wondered about that, all our records indicated that severed limbs could be reattached by not regrown.

"They did not" Ari replied as his right arm from the elbow down turned silver before rolling into a ball like something off of Terminator II.  It reformed into a hand in the middle of the table.  It plucked two olives from the tray of chicken and began to juggle them as his right eyeball bounced once on the table and was caught without dropping an olive.  It was an impressive if morbid feat of dexterity.

"Oh, stop showing off" Guinan murmured.   The hand tossed the eyeball back into its socket before setting the olives aside and returning to its place.  I stared at both the hands and eyes.   You would never know.  I took a bite of my lemon, almond, and olive chicken without really tasting it.  Ari continued to provide soothing dinner music, I began to relax in spite of myself.

"Any requests?" Ari asked me.

"Something historical" I replied.

He tightened the peg that I've been meaning to replace for weeks "Let's see if Amy Zoll and her 'whiz kids' can figure out what this one is from tonight's tape."

"Care to give them a hint?"

He gave me a Mona Lisa grin "Half the world, including you, knows the translation of the words but I alone remember the tune and the way the shepherd boy sang it." 

I quit eating to listen, damned if I could figure it out.  Hell I couldn't even place the language. 

"Anyone but Ad-am care to venture a guess?"  I glanced at Mac, Guinan, and Amanda but there were no takers.  "You might find this one a little easier." He said as he began another tune.  He'd pitched his voice differently, come to think of it his voice had sounded different on the last song as well.  He was clearly mimicking the original singers.  At least I thought the language on this one was ancient Greek.

"He was a lot more nasal than that" was Methos' comment "and he would a have played out of tune."

"I am not capable of singing that badly.  It's a very good thing that he was such a popular composer because he certainly could not perform." Ari replied in that same carefully neutral tone he'd used throughout the evening with Methos. 

"So you both heard this guy, personally?"

"Yes. As did Ashe, Rivkah, and Imhotep though none of us heard him at the same time."

"Hot ticket, huh?"

"More like minor talent with good patronage" was Methos' observation.

Ari set the guitar in its stand "Would you like me to play more later?"

"Yes, please."  I turned my attention to Guinan "So what are you studying?"

She swallowed (see Methos some people know not to talk with food in their mouths) "Stellar communication."

"So you're trying to improve communication between your colonies?" Amanda asked, Mac was staring off rather intently into space.

"No, not interstellar communication, but stellar communication – how to speak to stars." Guinan clarified.

"But aren't stars big balls of hot gas, or something?" Amanda asked waving her hands.

"And you are a somewhat attractive bag of spit, neither precludes life or sentience" was Ari's slightly snippy retort.

"But we're people" was Amanda's rejoinder.

"So are they, just a very different kind of people.  When humanity finally makes in to the stars my dear Amanda you will be quite surprised at how many species are so very similar to humanity and very many are utterly different.  The Calamerain for instance exist as swirls of ionized gas.  There are sentient entities that do not and never have had a material body.  Honestly, Amanda the Quickening you carry is one piece of an energy being.  Why should the stars not be alive, intelligent, and self-aware?"

"And unintelligible." Guinan grumbled.

"Patience, child, it will come with time."

"Like it did in 2003?"

Ari shrugged "You amused her and there was no lasting harm done.  A few power and communications disruptions and a few people who would never have seen the Northern Lights were treated to a spectacular show."

"And if I had made the same mistake at home?"

"That would be, unfortunate, which is why I am Teaching you here."

"Why is it so important that you speak with stars?" Amanda sounded bewildered.

At some point Ari had rearranged the food on his plate though I couldn't remember him taking a single bite.  He maneuvered a piece of chicken before setting his fork aside and answering Amanda.

"Some stars consider life as you know it vermin to be excised from the Universe.  Earth is very privileged in that its primary is not only opposed to this idea but is actually quite enamored with and protective of Earth's life.  El Auria is not so fortunate.  I originally went to El Auria three thousand years ago to convince" there was a brief indescribable impression that I can only assume was the name of the El Aurian star "not to blast all life off of El Auria.  It agreed under the condition that a being born of El Auria must be able to speak to it before the next" there was another different impression "or it would fry El Auria to a cinder."

I glanced at Guinan, talk about pressure, no wonder she was frustrated.  I wondered how much longer the El Aurians had.

"If they have space ships why not just find a new planet?"

"Some of us have" Guinan replied gloomily. "If only we had a star like yours."

"She is one of a kind" Ari said with more feeling than I'd heard in his voice all evening.  I half thought he was besotted with a star.  Now there was a tough interspecies relationship.  "That's why I was born human, because our progenitor was already fond of" a third flash utterly different from the first two.  "She's such a delightful child."  On second thought he sounded more like a doting parent.  I glanced at Mac, he was still staring off into the great unknown.

"What's your connection with Ahriman?"

Again that Mona Lisa smile.

"You disappoint me Joe."  I'd never wanted to hear that voice again.  Mac's head whipped around so fast he must have whiplash.  "Still associating with THEM, still breaking your Oath."

Mac tried to rise and ended up on his ass at Horton's feet.

"Apparently your Highland hero can't handle his ambrosia.  What a great pity that I'm unarmed."  He glared at Ari-El.

"You son of a BITCH" I snarled "you are Ahriman!"

"Insult me as you like, Joseph Dawson, but leave my mother out of it."

Mac struggled up off the floor. "I defeated you, you have no place here."

Ahriman smiled in sardonic amusement.  Another voice tsked, Methos stiffened, and I was suddenly looking into the eyes of Pestilence.

"Twelve years later and you still don't understand your place in any of this."  Kronos shook his head "How very sad."

"Do you know your own place, Baraq?" 

It was Kronos' turn to be stunned as he blinked at Ari-El in amazement.  I was yet again utterly confused, if Ari-El was Ahriman, and Kronos was working for Ahriman then how could Kronos be surprised that Ari-El was alive?

Ahriman extended a hand to Kronos and implored "Baraq?"

"Ab-El?"  The cold arrogance seemed to bleed out of him and he took a half step toward that outstretched hand before jerking back "No matter."  He turned back to Mac "You didn't really think you could beat me, did you Highlander?"
I know pain when I see it and there was pain in Ahriman's eyes.  It wasn't right.  Evil should be a force of nature that runs callously and uncaring over our lives.  It shouldn't be capable of sharing and understanding our pain.  I shouldn't feel a microsecond of pity for evil.

"Be gone" Ahriman whispered and both Horton and Kronos vanished.

"I know how to kill you now" Mac snarled.

The sardonic amusement returned "Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod how are you going to kill what you can not even find?"

"I don't need to find what's right in front of me."

"But am I right in front of you?" Ahriman whispered into Mac's ear.  "Or perhaps I am over here" he offered from the bar.  A quick glance revealed no less than a half dozen Ahriman's in the room.  Mac managed to rise without falling this time and swung at the Ahriman behind him.  The blade passed harmlessly through the left side of his body.  He caught it effortlessly as it emerged from his right shoulder.  He reft the sword out of his hands, tossed it to the Ahriman at the bar and shoved him back down in his chair before looking down his nose at Mac.

"You just do not learn! Where would that blade have stopped?"

Mac went white as a sheet as he followed the katana's course.  At best Amanda would have needed a new outfit at worst.  The worst was too terrible to contemplate.

"You'd have tricked me into it just like tricked me into killing Richie."

"What a pity that the boy died for nothing that you learned nothing."

"I don't need to learn anything you could teach." Mac spat back.

Ahriman gave a long-suffering sigh "Unfortunately, Highlander neither of us has a choice.  If you have a problem take it up with Fate and Timothy of Guillam."

"Timothy of Guillam?"

"The hermit." I supplied.

"I don't believe in Fate" Mac growled.

"More proof that you are a fool."  Ahriman retorted "Let us be direct, Highlander.  I like you not an iota more than you like me.  But like different cells of the same body we each have a roll to play and the Quickening that Timothy gave you has a momentous part.  To play that part requires that you posses certain knowledge and attributes.  It is my duty to test the Champion and allow me to assure you it has not been a pleasure.  You are without a doubt the most inflexible, mulish, dupe of a Champion I have ever been saddled with."

The two of them glared at each other until the Ahriman at the table asked "Is it worth less because it lasts longer?"

"What?"

"Are. Our. Lives. Worth. Less. Because. They. Last. Longer?" he repeated with exaggerated slowness.

"Of course not."

"Actions" the Ahriman at the bar replied while sighting down the katana "speak louder than words."

"I respect life" Mac defended "I treasure it."

"As do I, more than you know" the Ahriman at the table replied.

"Really" Mac scoffed "Where you treasuring life when you turned a blind eye to the Horseman?  When you let Rebecca die?  When you killed all those people 'testing' me?"  Mac swallowed "When you used me to kill Richie?"

"Who made you judge?" was Ahriman's reply.  The Ahriman behind Mac leaned down and mock whispered "Tell me Highlander, what frustrates you more that you think I did those things or that you can not be my judge, my jury, my executioner?"

"Oh I will be" he swore.

"I told you the night you killed Richie that you can not stop me."

"You're not unstoppable.  Evil isn't perfect."

"I never claimed to be.  I only said that you can not, shall not, and will not be the one to stop me.  So busy trying to be the hero, and you do not have a clue" said the Ahriman at the table.

"Does might make right?" asked the Ahriman on the stage.

"Never."

"Then how did trial by combat absolve you for Sean?" this from the Ahriman leaning against the door.

"And if you believe in trial by combat then does that not absolve me?" asked the Ahriman above us as he perched on one of the stage lights.

"And who do you think determines the outcomes of the battles if not Fate?" inquired the Ahriman at the table.  I wondered idly when the Ahriman sitting quietly in the corner was going to toss in his two cents.

The Ahriman at the table had cocked his head, clearly waiting for Mac's response.

"I am not Fate's pawn" Mac denied.

"You have been a pawn in Fate's hand since before your birth.  The only question is, are you willing to be more than a pawn?"  the Ahriman at the table challenged.

"At the cost of my soul?"

Every Ahriman in my line of sight rolled his eyes simultaneously "On my word I do not want, need, or desire your soul."

"If Fate is so powerful can I be anything else?"

"That Duncan MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod is the great choice before you.  Will you rise above the measure of the three Champions before you or like them will you pass the responsibility on to another?"

Mac just stared at the Ahriman across the table.

"How can I believe you when you tricked me into murdering a boy I loved?"
"The boy loved you" the Ahriman by the door began.

"But you never loved the boy" the Ahriman with the katana finished.

I have never in my life seen the kind of hate that radiated out of Mac's eyes at the Ahriman opposite him.

"You did not allow yourself to love the boy, because he was Quickened, just in case one day you decided that 'honor' required that you kill him."

"Is it worth less because it lasts longer?" from the stage.

"Who made you judge?" from the door

 "Is honor an excuse for murder?" from the bar.

The Ahriman at the table steepled his fingers and arched a brow "No self-righteous answers?  No heroic declarations?  Could you possibly, finally, be thinking instead of reacting?  Or is that too much to hope for?"

I don't think Mac was capable of speech so I responded.

"Get. Out. Of. My. Bar."

"Soon enough, Mr. Dawson.  Patience, tonight's drama has another act yet to go."

"Bullshit.  I don't give a rat's ass what else you have planned."

Ahriman's smile was as sad as a crucifix angel's "Not my plan, Mr. Dawson.  Believe me I would gladly leave if I could.  Besides how can you throw out what was never really here?"  With those words the Ahriman at the table vanished utterly.

"But you are here" Methos insisted.

"Am I?" asked the Ahriman behind Mac.

"Yes."

"Then find me."

Methos rose, stalked over to the Ahriman by the door, and shook his head.  My money was on the quiet one in the corner.  But one by one Methos rejected them all.  He finally stopped in front of an empty table.

"Are you going to show yourself or not?" he asked the empty chair and he was just there. He was still in blue and gold but that outfit would get stares anywhere on Earth.  It wasn't until he rose that I noticed the dogs.  It was an impressive oversight given that Ahriman was at least six foot one and the black dog's shoulder was well above his waist.  Saluki, my mind produced the name of the breed and the memory of why I know it.  Stacy Rosenthal had looked high and low for a coal black Saluki with golden eyes to match one she'd found on an eight thousand-year-old Elamite tablet.  She'd wanted one so badly to match.  I was looking at the original, and her killer. 

"You murdering swine!" I spat Horton's words echoing in my head.

He turned his piercing blue eyes on me.  How Methos or Guinan could have ever mistaken the illusionary Ahriman's for the real thing was beyond me.  His presence was a palatable force in the room making the entire bar seem too small and mean. 

"I did not kill them." He repeated Horton's words "You did."

"Bullshit!"  My own voice sounded weak and distant.

"You sent a pair of Americans into hostile territory in Iraq.  The cave they were in housed chemical and biological weapons.  They tripped a security system, Mr. Dawson, end of their story."

My thoughts were scattering like leaves on the wind under the force of those eyes "What about Merton and Michelle?  Two perfectly healthy people just happened to have heart attacks?"

"No.  There is a very good reason why the locals consider the Cave of Angoulene cursed.  The cave is still permeated with the radiation from the battle fought there six thousand twenty-four years ago.  Radiation that will ultimately prove fatal to any mortal who lingers too long inside."

"And I suppose you were terribly concerned for the other Watchers in the field?  That's why you sent Horton to tell me I was killing them?"
"Terribly concerned, no, but I saw no reason that eight more should die seeking answers that would do the Champion no good."

He pulled a flower free of Amanda's bouquet.  As his gaze shifted it was like a weight off my chest.  As he breathed in the scent I studied him.   He was a good thirty pounds thinner than the illusions had been which meant he needed to gain at least forty.  He was well past thin and bordering on emaciated, if he lost another ten pounds you'd be able to see the outline of his teeth through his cheeks.  From the way his clothes hung on him he'd been thirty pounds heavier when he acquired them.

"I do not make a habit of trampling flowers, Mr. Dawson" He turned his gaze on Mac "Nor do I make a habit of destroying oaks to preserve annuals."

He settled gracefully at the place his illusionary counterpart had held with the great black dog between him and Methos and the grizzle and tan bitch between he and I. 

"What have you done to yourself now?"  Methos and Guinan asked nearly simultaneously and in the same exasperated tone.   Ahriman grinned with more good humor than I'd yet seen.

"Ahriman is a role nothing more nothing less, Mr. Dawson.  Ari-El is the name my mother gave me and the one by which I should be called."  This time there was no burning presence when he glanced in my direction, which at least explained how the illusions "Holograms" Ari-El interrupted my train of thought.

"They are holograms, recorded in advance since I knew I would not arrive back on Earth until nine-fifteen this evening."  Had fooled Methos and Guinan.

"For goodness sake, eat something" Guinan ordered.

The holographic Ari had only sipped lightly from his glass, the real one drained it.

"I said eat."

Air gazed at his plate ruefully "I do not think my digestive system is ready for solid food yet."

Guinan sighed "It's a damn good thing you're nearly indestructible.   So what did you do?"

Ari split one of the pieces of chicken on his plate and offered each of the dogs a tidbit.  They each accepted daintily without any the wolfing one often sees.

"Tasyad" Methos called to the black dog.  It ignored him completely.  He frowned, suddenly worried "Where are Maher and Menheyet?"

"The Slorec were frightened of the cats, so I left them in Arrata and took Tasyad and Aurincha as my rasha instead."

"Are those over grown hairballs still speaking to you?"  Methos asked with the beginnings of a grin.

"Not really, no."

"So you're the one that brokered the cease fire" Guinan grinned "Dad kept wondering who'd finally managed clunk those hard heads together and make them see reason."

"They have yet to see reason" was Ari's response "But there is finally, after a thousand epka of war, a chance for peace.  Provided I can keep them from killing each other at the treaty table."

"And this relates to your inability to eat?"

"The Ntark delegate insisted that the Slorec delegates were trying to kill him and demanded that I taste every dish and take all meals with the ambassadors."

Guinan frowned "But there isn't a single Ntark or Slorec dish that wouldn't be highly toxic to a human."

"Yes, well, if I had not been aware of it before after four months of having the equivalent of glass shards laced with strychnine three times a day while smiling pleasantly and pretending you are not close to choking to death on your own blood would be ample proof of it."  He settled back into a classic Methos sprawl "Of course the look on the Ntark's face when I just kept smiling was nearly worth it.  It was never concerned about being poisoned, it just wanted me to withdraw as mediator so they could resume slaughtering each other. "

"And you did this to yourself because?" Amanda asked.

"I am easily amused." Ari quipped before answering more seriously "The Slorec have a great potential to be a unique and powerful force in the Universe but only if they're not utterly destroyed by this war with the Ntark.  Without my intervention they would have utterly annihilated each other. If this cease fire holds the peace between them will never be broken again.  If it does not there is still a sixty-two point four percent chance that the war will end at least a few of both races alive.  An improvement over the one hundred percent chance of eventual obliteration that existed nine months ago." Ari responded while pouring himself another measure of ambrosia.

"You really should eat something." Guinan repeated.

Ari shook his head "Later, even a Quickened constitution needs a little readjustment time."

"What's in it for you?" Mac asked glaring.

"The survival of the Slorec."

"You expect us to believe you care?"

Something inhuman and very dangerous flared in Ari-El's eyes and that sense of presence returned "You are becoming wearisome Highlander and I can guarantee you do not want to see the result if I loose my temper.  You are not my judge."

Mac's jaw worked but he held his tongue, watching and waiting.

Ari-El sprawled again but there was a tight wound tension in him and the room just waiting to explode. 

"What I care about Highlander is the furtherance of my plans and purpose.  The Slorec would prove useful and I am willing to bleed a little to preserve them provided there is no risk to my own survival.  The Ntark serve no useful purpose and it would have been far simpler and neater to arrange for the Slorec to destroy the Ntark but I do not kill as lightly as you do."

Mac's hard won control snapped.  He tried to lunge across the table but lost his balance.

"You drugged me."

Ari-El applauded derisively "Bright boy.  The alternative was a Challenge that would lead to both your and Ad-Am's deaths.  This way you have time to think instead of reacting.  You really should attempt it occasionally.  Exercise the gray matter a little.  Listen. Because. I. Am. Getting. Quite. Tired. Of. Repeating. Myself."

A holographic Ari-El grabbed the back of Mac's collar and slammed him back into his seat "And while you are at it - stay out of my personal space."

He turned his gaze on me as I yanked the gun out of its holster.

"What makes you think I won't shoot you so Mac can take your head?"

I got Methos' 'I know something you don't know' grin in response.

"It is a very good thing that that is your second favorite gun."

I stared down the barrel at him "I am going enjoy shooting you."

The blue eyes on the other end of the barrel where dancing "That gun is never going to shoot anything ever again."  I tried to pull the trigger.  Nothing.  I tried to chamber a round.  I tried to eject the clip.  Nothing moved.  The whole gun was a fused mass of metal.

"Damn you! I liked this gun."

"Then you should not have pointed it at me."  Again that flicker of something inhuman and deadly "Not many get off so lightly."

"You lying sack of shit!  All that talk about my legs and you couldn't even replace your own hands!" I yelled waving the useless gun in his face.

"Mr. Dawson I do not have cybernetic enhancements because I lacked the ability to replace flesh but because flesh could never do this."  His right arm flowed under the dishes like quick silver until it covered the entire surface of the table.  As it pulled back I could see carvings in the table top.  There were too many dishes to tell what and I was in no mood to look.

"Do you have any idea what turning you down did to me?"

The eyes and hands went silver "Yes, Mr. Dawson I think I might just have some inkling."

I let the gun clunk onto the table and fumed.

"Are we all feeling better now or do we have a bit more to work out of our systems?"

Guinan shifted nervously next to Mac.  I felt a certain grudging sympathy for her.  It couldn't be easy stuck in the middle of this.  Me and my big mouth – well I certainly wasn't ever going to forget tonight.  Ari-El broke the strained silence by walking over to the stage.  I hadn't even noticed that all but one of his holographic doubles had relocated to and completely rearranged my stage.  They damn well had better put it back when they where done.  While one of the doubles handed the real McCoy an instrument I'd never seen before Tasyad gave Methos's hand a quick lick.  The damn dog was so big it didn't even need to look up to meet Methos's eyes.  He wagged his tail once before turning away from Methos and settling on the floor with a sigh.  If the real Ari-El had missed the dog's subterfuge the double behind Mac hadn't.  He planted a spare chair between Amanda and Guinan and sat down.  I was about to ask him what he thought he was doing when Ari-El started to play and every though was swept away.

I can't say what you want to hear

I can't give easy answers for your pain

There are wounds time will not wash clean

If we stand forever in the rain.

I can see history in your eyes

Do you know what I mean?

Take a good look in the mirror

If you dare.

It tells a truth you can't deny

It's all there the history in your eyes.

We were young and world was bright

And we held on to all our brave ideals

It's so strange how those dreams wear thin

Till we can scarcely remember how that feels.

I can see the future in your eyes

Do you know what I mean?

Take a good look in the mirror

If you dare

We learn so well to comprise

Do you know what I mean?

It's all there the future in your eyes.

Mournful children, spirits that claw at the sky

Desperate sailors, lost on the tide

Hope running dry

I can see eternity in your eyes

Do you know what I mean?

Take a good look in the mirror

If you dare

Is that someone you despise?

Do you know what I mean?

It's all there.

Eternity

In your eyes.

I almost wish I didn't know what Guinan meant about the earlier songs being flat.  He'd coupled that presence of his with that virtuoso talent and guaranteed I'd be hearing that eerie ass song in my dreams for the rest of my life.  Sister Mary Catherine had always said Satan was a blue-eyed blond haired angel of music.  I never though I'd get first hand proof that she was right.  He also must share Methos taste in music cause his next number was Queen's "A Kind of Magic"

One dream, one soul, one prize

One goal, one golden glance of what should be

One shaft of light that shows the way

No mortal man can win this day

The bell that rings inside your mind

It's challenging the doors of time

This flame that burns inside of me

I'm hearing secret harmonies

After an abbreviated "A Kind of Magic" he transitioned into "Princes of the Universe".  As the song faded I wondered again what Freddie Mercury had known.  The songs were too perfectly matched to Immortal life to be accidental.

Will you join me on this road?

Will you walk with me through the night?

Will you take up a share of the load?

Are you seeking for the light?

A different voice replied from the doorway.

I have sought the light

But it has fled from me

And left me in the darkness of the night

What is left to see?

Given the similarities the second singer had to be Evangeline.  It'd be a hard call to say which of them was more beautiful but Evangeline was damn sure a whole lot prettier, with enough curves to keep any man happy and a distinctly softer jaw-line.  Ari-El stopped playing and walked to his daughter.  Actually seeing them side by side the jaw-line was the only thing that saved Ari's face from being ridiculously effeminate.

"There is much to see, it is you who will not see it."

"You're such an optimist" she made the word an insult.  "No matter how desperate things become you're always convinced there's a way out."

"Because long experience has proven that there usually is.  You only have to look hard enough."

"Fool" she whispered before taking the seat the holographic Ari-El was no longer occupying.

Her glance swept the table. 

"My, my, my but your standards have fallen Mother.  A thief, an Oath Breaker, a traitor, and a kinslayer.  What will Guilnar say when he finds out who you're letting his daughter associate with?"

She glared at Mac "So this is the current Champion.  I still say you should have let him give his head to O'Rourke instead of sending him Fitzcairne to dissuade him."

Ari shrugged "While I admit he may be somewhat less than ideal, O'Rourke would be an unmitigated disaster."

"Fitz said God sent him." Mac protested faintly.  The whole damn conversation was news to me but it put Mac's exit stage left after the O'Rourke debacle in a different light if Ahriman was involved.

"Fitz is a flamboyant personality." Ari sighed "What a pity that humorless Kalas won, Fitz was far more amusing when he was alive."

"What's he doing now that he's dead?" Amanda asked hesitantly.

"Playing golf.  Incessantly. While muttering that he's going to show you he doesn't need to cheat.  He's terribly fixated.  I told him you would not get 'being the ball'.  I had actually intended to send Riv to you but Fitz was quite determined and it worked out well enough."  Ari sampled a piece of chicken while we digested the news.

Ari caught Mac's eye and held it.  "The next time you feel inclined to offer someone your head Highlander kindly remember that by default you have just chosen the next Champion."

"You should have reminded the last Champion of that before he picked this lunk."

What a bitch.  Talia was right Ari-El should have spent some quality behind the woodshed with this kid.

He took a sip of ambrosia before answering "I did consider breaking with tradition and arranging for someone I felt was more suitable to take his head but the Witch, the Priest, Kol'tec, Rivkah, Sean, and Ad-Am all seemed impressed with him.  I thought perhaps, however unlikely, that I might have overlooked something."

"Since when did you start considering the Witch and the Priest as credible character witnesses?" Evangeline's chuckle was bitter "If you had replaced him perhaps our grandson would still be alive."

Ari-El shook his head "We both know that the boy had no future."

"I get it" Mac rumbled "Richie was your revenge for Kronos, Sean, and your grandson."

"How have you lived this long?" Evangline marveled "Richie was my grandson, fool."

Mac just blinked at Ari-El "You tricked me into murdering your own grandson?"
"What kind of moron, knowing that your student is present and having thoroughly established that your sword has no effect on your adversary strikes a killing blow against the one person you claim you don't want to kill?" Evangeline spat while looking at Mac the same way Amy looks at cockroaches.  "How could you not realize you where killing Richie?"

 "I didn't know.  I just reacted." Only four hundred years of chivalry kept Mac restrained.  

 The grizzle and tan dog growled a low warning when he tensed.  She stood hackles raised and leaned against the table hard enough to shift it slightly as Ari laid a restraining hand on her head.  The hair on the back of my neck stood at attention as Ari-El and Evangeline locked glances.   When the dog whined Ari-El snapped "Enough 'Vang!" 

Evangeline reeled back in her seat, clutching the edge of the table for support.  The dog leaned against Ari-El as he ruffled her silky ears absentmindedly.

"Not enough!" she flung back, breathless "You're too soft.  He's completely unsuitable and you know it.  If he's incapable of fathoming that half-assed excuse of a testing, how is he going to fair against the real thing?"

"Did not fathom or was willing to sacrifice the boy to defeat the enemy?" Ari retorted as he continued to pet the dog. 

"If so then he mentally rewrote the facts when he couldn't handle failure.  How promising is that?"

"The Champion is not your concern nor is it your place to question how I conduct my affairs."

Evangeline's eyes narrowed "I was born to probe for weakness."

"You were born to bridge a critical gap when I would be incapable of handling any matter based business."

"You never do anything for a single reason, Mother.  Not in my lifetime and not in any past or future I have ever Seen.  I am just as much your foil, crafted to test your plans.  And he is a mistake."

Ari arched a brow "And dieing by your own hand in forty-two minutes is not?"

"Call it a last temptation.  One that I have thought on long and well."

 "You're not serious, Vang." Guinan protested.

Evangeline crossed her arms and stared at her mother.

"But why?"

"Please do enlighten the class." Ari challenged.

"You're the one that made this a group affair, you explain."

Ari bared his teeth "You are the one that forced this debacle, I just chose the time, place, and audience."

"You know what I want."

"You ask what I can not give."

"Not can't, Mother, won't."

"Will someone please explain?" I snapped.

"Your pardon, Mr. Dawson" I was a little surprised that he looked honestly apologetic "that I have used what should be your celebration in this manner.  The next hour will not be pleasant and there is no real need for you or Amanda to be witness to it."

"I ain't going anywhere."

"As you like." He sighed deeply before continuing. "For the last fifty years the majority of my time on Earth and the main focus of Evangeline's efforts has been determining the timing, course and outcome of the next World War.  Amazingly enough we have even managed to agree all the major points."

"Then what's the problem?"

Ari-El shrugged "Evangeline has convinced herself that I am going to die before I can ensure a successful outcome."

"Look me in the eye Mother and tell me you're not putting your house in order?  Guarantee that you will see this through to its conclusion."

"We are Seers, child.  You know exactly what I can and can not guarantee but neither of us has Seen my death."

"And we both know it isn't what we have Seen but what we haven't that is worrisome.  If you're not troubled Mother then what are you doing here?"

"You know what a firm believer I am in contingency plans.  It is hardly a reason to commit suicide."

Evangeline had turned her attention on Methos "Some contingency plan.  I've watched this one my whole life.  Good company, good Methos, bad company, bad Methos.  If you're not careful Mother you'll be leaving the fate of the Universe in the hands of an impetuous fool and a spineless parasite."

"All the more reason for you not to do this" Ari replied while the 'spineless parasite' straightened from his perpetual slouch.

"We both know how this turns out Mother, unless you're willing to change it."

"The class is still lost." I reminded when they started glaring at each other again.  Thank God for the mismatched chins otherwise it'd be like watching mirror images but not.  Ari paused to give the whining grizzled dog his full attention before answering me.  She laid her long, narrow muzzle in his lap and looked up at him with that absolute adoration that only dogs can muster. 

"The Universe is like an onion" Ari began.

Evangeline rolled her eyes.  If she did off herself this was one woman that I wasn't going to miss.  She could be a 'beauty is only skin deep' poster child.

Ari ignored her "Built with layers of interlocking Laws each superceding another and with multiple intentional loopholes."

"And you just happen to be privy to all this vast knowledge?" Mac glowered.  I still couldn't believe we were sitting here semi-calmly with Richie's murderer.

"Given that our progenitor was present for the Creation of the Universe I do not see why any of us should not be functionally omniscient."

That statement brought all three of the other Immortals up short "What?"

Ari gave us another 'Mona Lisa' smile "At the risk of paraphrasing Will 'the fault is not in your Quickenings but in yourselves'."

"You knew Shakespeare?"

Ari's gaze flickered to me "Quite well."  He replied, for an instant showing a gentle humanity that startled me.  His eyes had that same not quite focused look at every Immortal I've ever met gets in the midst of a flashback.  If I was any judge at all he'd enjoyed those days.

"Now there was a human that knew how to listen.  A pity that it is a lost art."  All that haughty arrogance was back in spades as he directed the comment to Mac, Amanda, and Evangeline.  I was glad.  That flash of something else was disturbing – almost feeling pity for Richie's killer was bad enough – I didn't want to feel any remorse when Mac finally found a way to whack this asshole.

"You have steadfastly bound yourselves into remaining merely human when you could and should be so much more - but I digress.  The Rule of Paradox is superceded by the Law of Division.  The Universe is actually a multi-Universe with set number of possible variations.  The timing and nature of the splits is not under the control of Fate or Chance or Chaos which leaves us with opportunities.  A very few carefully planned and cautiously implemented opportunities.   I lived this life by rules which I have bent but never broken.  First, to never force another to my will with either Touch or Voice.  I have instructed some in the use of the Voice and others in defense against it but have never used it."  He fondled the dogs' ears before turning his gaze on Evangeline. "That is what the earlier clash over Aurincha was about.  Evangeline has never actually tested her own abilities against mine."  Ari's voice went glacier cold "There are better ways to do it than by trying to shred the loyalty of one of my hounds.  Evangeline has not yet injected the maveth" Guinan choked eyes wide.  "As her earlier test shows, I could easily force her not to do so but I will not.  Evangeline's first test."

"Perhaps Mother you should show them what is at stake" Evangeline challenged "so that they can understand my demands."

"Mr. Dawson, Amanda, anyone else last chance to leave"

"Oh, no I want in on this." Amanda was hyped.

"No, you do not but no one ever seems to learn from anything but experience and then it is usually too late."

"What the hell is coming?"

"A war like never before, famine of a magnitude never seen, and the potential destruction of the human race."

"Or the last war ever fought on Earth's soil and the birth of a Golden Age that will gradually spread across the entire galaxy."

"You're a dreamer Mother.  If you leave them free to choose they'll never take the high road.  How many times have you brought them with in inches of marvels only for them to choose to slide right back down into the abyss?"

I swear Ari-El was grinding his teeth when he spoke "I will not craft a Utopia based on slaves.  If that was my intention I would have become absolute ruler of Earth eight thousand years ago, and this galaxy less than seven hundred years after that."  Ari shook his head "Show them what you fear child."

                Once more we were cast into great maelstrom but more roughly before it had been disorienting this time it was painful.

'Gently child' Ari's mental voice chided 'Only Guinan and Ad-Am have any experience with this.'  I was again adeptly steadied and calmly reoriented.  I wished he'd left me.  I Watched the creation of the 'Bred Men' and the rise of Khan.  I Saw War unfold on a level that even Vietnam never prepared me for.  Not just the horror of seeing it, not just the scope, not just the casualty counts that would be higher than all the conflicts of the blood soaked twentieth century combined no it the was the pain.  Omniscient. My God.  Who hasn't played with the idea, daydreamed about – what a nightmare.  I knew them all.  Every single one.  I knew their names, their faces, their dreams, their pain and I felt each death.  Following the straight road of Fate mankind died.  Entirely.  There were a dozen natural 'twists' in the road set there by Chance and Chaos.  Humanity survived in them, but I'm not sure that was a good thing.  There are actually fates worse than death.  I gulped ambrosia.  Mac, Amanda, and Guinan looked shell-shocked.  Methos just looked thoughtful.

"Is that really the way it's going to be?" Amanda finally choked out.

"If no one with the ability to See intervenes then yes." Ari replied "But I do not seem capable of abstaining from some sort of meddling.  Now show them what you want from me."

A completely different future unfolded, no war, no famine.  Bliss and joy, peace and harmony.

"You really are an evil monster.  You don't want this?"

Ari shook his head "It is not about what I want.  It never has been and it never will be."  His gaze shifted to Mac "What sacrifice would you make for that future to become a reality?"

"Anything."

"Your life?"

"My death would be a pittance."

"Not your death MacLeod your life, yours every other of our kind, bound in eternal, inescapable servitude regardless of your own will.  Still want to sign up?"
"Yes."

"Nasty martyr complex you have there Highlander fortunately for us all I do not happen to share it."

"How can you be that selfish?"

Ari let out that same utterly mirthless laugh from before "On the contrary Highlander you have no concept of how easy it would be to embrace that trap.   Where no one hurts, no one grieves, no one changes, and no one grows.  Whole Universe of hot house flowers just waiting for the winter winds.  All hiding behind the remnants of my skirts" his eyes blazed when he turned them on Evangeline "But that is what this all really about.  What it truly comes down to is the simple fact that just like Ad-Am you are scared witless at the mere thought of my loss.  Let us not candy coat your cowardice, girl."

"I can't do it, Mother. How do you do it?  With all those millennium stretching out behind you and all of eternity before you?  And I will not face the first future.  I can't."

"Take a long look at him" Ari pointed at Mac "Because for all his flaws, for all his foolishness he possess something that you and Ad-Am both sorely lack, true conviction, true nobility, and above all true courage.  That is why I left him Champion."  He shook his golden head "If either of you had possessed one tenth of his share of those qualities we would have never have come to this place.   The cowardly competent and noble nitwits seem to be my lot in life.  Did it ever occur to you child that if, and it is a rather long if, I do in fact fall you, Ad-Am, the Highlander, and one other might be all that stand between the Universe and the first future."

Evangeline dropped her head "I can't be what you are.  I don't know whether to call it fortitude, or resilience, or courage, or callousness I only know I don't share it.  I don't want to share it.  I won't take up that mantle.   I'll die first here tonight.  So it's time for you to make a choice Mother.  What's worth more your pretentious rules and your precious plans or the people you should care about?  Do you still have a heart Mother or did you trade away centuries ago?" The anger in Evangeline's eyes matched the fires already blazing in Ari's "Will you finally find your own courage and challenge Fate or will you just sit there and watch me die?"

Ari stiffened as fear replaced anger "There is a difference Vang between courage and utter madness.  Once upon a time we commanded Fate, those days where gone before I was born.  My second rule to never directly challenge Fate, manipulate certainly, stretch the limits, continually but to directly challenge Fate would be tantamount to suicide.  Fate and our progenitor were never friends and Fate would like nothing better than the pleasure of our final destruction.  She does not know we survived and our survival depends on that.  Please, child ask for what I can give."

"Will you give me what I want?"

"No" Ari whispered.  His fingers twitched in the dog's silky fur at the same moment Evangeline's eyes widened.

"Would you care for a painkiller?  Maveth is not a comfortable way to die."

"No.  That's why I chose it.  That and the fact that even you don't have an antidote."

"As you like" Ari replied in that same very neutral tone he'd been using earlier with Methos "Would you care to make a final review of the current plan?"

"Why" she breathed as sweat broke out on her brow "I won't be here to care."

"And pass up your last chance to call me an idealistic dreaming fool?" Ari retorted "Who are you and what have you done with my daughter?"

Her response was a snarl.

Ari maintained a poker face but the dog whined as his fingers twisted in her fur. "I could make you more comfortable."

"No" she snapped "Let's review the damn plan."

I'd expected assassinations, cloak and dagger intrigues, and political manipulation instead I was playing basketball in a slum.  At the end of the game I tossed the ball back to its owner and walked over to the little boy staring at me.

"Hello"

"Hi" he blinked up in awe "You were great!"

"I do alright."

"What's your name?"

"Michael Montrose."

"The inventor?  You can't be you ain't old'nough."

"Are not old enough." I dropped on one knee so that I was no longer towering over the child "Are you calling me a liar?"

He gulped "No, sir.  Are you really?"

"Most certainly."

"Wow.  What are you doing down here?"

"I am looking for someone."

"Who?"

"A promising young scientist named Zephram Cochrane."

The boy frowned "But I'm Zephram Cochrane."

I smiled brightly "Then my quest is over."

The boy wrinkled his nose "But I don't even like science."

"Are you certain about that?  You know who I am."

"But you're an inventor." The boy enthused.

"Take a walk with me?"

"Sure!"

We walked together through the slum stepping over piles of trash while chatting animatedly about how's and why's until we reached a row home that had seen much better days.

A hand reached out and snatched the boy by his ear "Where have you been?  I thought I told you to be home an hour ago."

I turned giving the harried woman my most charming smile.  She straightened instantly one hand reaching up to nervously smooth her ragged hair.  I felt a flash of anger at the Highland Fool for setting this particular future in motion, for wasting what this woman might have been in a different timeline.

"Your pardon.  Do not blame your son.  I fear I distracted him."

She wrapped a protective arm around her son eyes weary "What do you want with my boy?"

 "How silly of me.  Michael Montrose, Ms. Cochran." I held out my hand.  She took it automatically.

"What on Earth are you doing down here?"

"You had your son tested a few months ago for a scholarship."

Her mouth twisted "Too stupid, just like his mum."

A second flash of anger that I didn't let reach my face or eyes.  I couldn't decide who I wanted to slap more her or the Champion. 

"I disagree.  I have been reviewing the tests for likely youngsters that were overlooked.  I am creating a charter school and I would like to have your son attend."

"Ain't got no money.  Ain't got nothing.  Can't go."

"I am paying for the school.  It is not about money it is about talent."

Dead eyes stared into mine "Money talks, talent walks."

"Not with me" I let the absolute truth of those words show in my eyes.  An ember of hope flickered in her eyes followed by a flash of fear and then back to dead.  I hated that dead fish look that I'd seen in far too many eyes over the course of nearly ten millennia.  I chalked it up as yet another reason to avoid seafood.

"Talk's cheap" she mumbled as she started to turn away.

"Yes it is" I swung the backpack off my back "I brought his supplies and bus pass with me.  Call it a gesture of good faith."

Zephram's eyes went wide "Please Mom."  He took advantage of her bewildered silence to start rooting through the bag.

"Lot's of expensive stuff there.  Could sell it for a pretty penny."  The ember of hope was back but there was greed as well.

"Yes, you could or you could send him to the kind of school he needs on Monday."

"I'll think on it" she allowed. I caught the boy's eyes mouthed '10 o'clock roof' to the boy.  He winked back. 

                I went two blocks up and one over and picked an almost clean spot.  I set out a hat not because I desired tips but because it was expected.  I went through the motions of tuning my guitar for the same reason.  And began to play letting the songs become of vehicle for my Touch, allowing a subtle hope saturate the area.

Some find their solace in a bottle of gin

Some find it still better when their horse comes in

It's a way to deal when life ain't grand

You just pack it up, hang your head and fold your hand

She worked all day on a street named Despair

In a town with no pity she was going no where

Funny how her heart it grew harder and harder

With the weight of the world crashing down on her shoulder

But when the going gets tough and the tough are long gone

You just got to walk on

.

Well I know we ain't seeing the best of times

But I'll never stop dreaming those craze dreams of mine

These days get long but my heart won't get weak

And honey we ain't living on no easy street.

But when the going gets tough and the tough are long gone

It's just you and me left to walk on

I let the first song fade and chose another

Tell me not in mournful numbers

That life is but an empty dream!

For the soul is dead that slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is your destined end or way

But to act, that each tomorrow

Find you farther than today.

The lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And departing leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time.

Footprints that another

Wandering over life solemn main

A forlorn shipwrecked brother,

Seeing shall take heart again.

Let us, then be up and doing

With a heart for any Fate

Still achieving, still pursuing

Learn to labor and to wait

I played for the next three hours each song carefully chosen to encourage without candy coating the hard truths of both the current situation or the horrors that were coming.  I rose taking the full hat with me.  I dropped it along with several small high tech items at the local clinic before meeting the boy on the balcony at moon rise. 

"A telescope!" he grinned.

"Want me to show you how to use it?"

"Oh, yeh!" he whooped.

"Sh, you will wake your mother" I admonished though I knew we wouldn't.

The boy slumped  "You could bomb the block, she won't wake." He kicked the crumbling brick sending a shower of grit down into the alleyway "I hate her!"  He shouted at me chin quivering. 

I gripped his shoulder "No you don't.  If you did it wouldn't hurt so badly."  His misery battered against my senses.  Just one more mote in the maelstrom. 

"How can she do this to herself?"

"Nothing cuts deeper than a the despair from shattered dreams." 

He frowned up at me before plopping down on the cracked roof  "She's gonna sell my school stuff for drug money."

"Some of it" there was no good reason to lie to the boy "I will replace it."

"I won't be expelled or nothing?"

"Not because of your mother's behavior.  Whether you are expelled for your own behavior is up to you."  Actually I was rather looking forward to the boy's creative means of getting into trouble, not that I would not be giving him a serious dressing down for them.  There were few things more enjoyable than a truly exceptional and creative student.  I mourned a bit more for the woman below us, grieved that possibly the greatest theoretical engineer the human race would ever produce had already permanently pickled her brain.  The Other grumbled, impatient.  The woman was a might have been, contact had been established the rest could be handled by holograms.  Actually all of it could have been handled by holograms, there were better uses for our time.  I pushed back unwilling to yield this.  The Other snarled but acquiesced retreating into a watchful silence as I spent the rest of the night feeding that hungry young soul with stories and songs about magic carpet rides.  We pulled back following the thread of the boy's life until the Phoenix flew through to First Contact with the Vulcan's and the foundation of the Federation.

It took seven hundred years but we came to an age even more Golden than Evangeline's.  I understood now why Evangeline called Ari a dreamer.  Ari's grand plan wasn't about politics or power it was about making sure the right person with the right dream was in the right place at the right time.  The level of preplanning was awe inspiring it wasn't uncommon for the nudge that set a whole section of the plan in motion to actually take place three or even four generations before the payoff, all this across seven hundred years and multiple galaxies.

"It's a beautiful idea, Mother" Evangeline whispered "But what becomes of the web if the spider dies?"

"You have no concept, child of what was sacrificed for free will.  I will not destroy that.  I will not become a little tin god, not for you, not for anyone, not ever."

She whimpered.

"Please let me administer an analgesic."  It wasn't the voice of a parent concerned for a child but one of distant, clinical indifference.  I had a doctor once that used to talk to me the same way, always made me want to slug the bastard.  I felt a reluctant sympathy for Evangeline.  She might be a shrew but nobody deserved indifference from their own mother. 

"If I didn't know better Mother I'd swear you bleed green." Her lips were going an unhealthy shade of blue.

Mac rose suddenly using the back of his chair to maintain his balance. 

"Where are you going Highlander?" Ari asked in that same detached voice.

"To call an ambulance" Mac snapped.

"Why?"

It took Mac three attempts to speak "How can you just sit there?"

"There is neither antidote nor treatment for maveth.  She has intentionally chosen this death.  The only alternatives are to either directly alter Time and Fate which would almost assuredly result in my destruction shortly thereafter or I could squander one of the few unclaimed parallel timelines but Evangeline would only begin seeking for another opportunity to do this again.  What would you have me do?"  His eyes had gone as dead as mechanical eyes should be.

"Ten thousand years and that's the best you can do?"

Ari shrugged "Que cera, cera."

"You're her mother."

"If I was not I assure you I would not tolerate this attempt at emotional blackmail." 

Any rebuttal was forestalled by Evangeline's rattling cough.  Mac grabbed the back of Amanda's chair and laid a comforting hand on Evangeline's shoulder.

"Get your murdering hands off me" she spat through blood flecked lips.  Mac drew back as if stung and almost lost his precarious balance.  She laid her left hand on the table clearly lacking the strength to hold it out "Mama?"

Ari never even twitched and watched his daughter breathe her last impassively.  The grizzle and tan bitch threw back her head and howled.

"You didn't save her" Guinan breathed stunned.  From the expression on Guinan's face she'd clearly believed that Ari was going to deliver a last minute miracle.  She went through hurt, shock, and betrayal in quick succession and moved rapidly on to anger.  She sent her chair crashing to the floor as she started for the door.  Ari moved so swiftly my eyes couldn't even track him he was just suddenly in front of her.

"Guinan, listen to me."

She tried to sidestep him but he moved gracefully with her.

"Please, Guinan.  It is what your people do."

She stared up at him while the tears stained her cheeks "Why did you let her do it?"

"Because she chose it."

"Why here and now? Why in front of me?"

"Functionally omniscient, Guinan but no longer omnipotent.  You have heard me say it your whole life, child but you have never believed it."

"You bastard" she spat hands balling into fists.

"Guinan listen" there was more emotion in that one word than he'd shown the whole night, the man was begging. "After you save El Auria from its primary."  He nodded when her eyes widened "You will succeed in speaking to stars." He sighed "You will be Questioned by the Continuum."

"The what?"

"Omniscient beings the dwell outside of and are not governed by the Law of the Universe.  If you fail their test the will destroy your people."

"What do I need to do?"

Ari shook his head "They are unbound by Time and Fate, where they are I can not See.  I can not help you Guinan.  I only know this much if you fail they will destroy your people but if like Evangeline you yield to fear and despair they will destroy every race seeded by the Bekore."

"You could have just told me, I would have believed you."

"Object lessons are more memorable."

"You don't have Vulcan blood, you've got ice water in your veins you fucking cyborg" she spat. 

"She wasn't an object lesson she was my best friend" she roared as her fist made a very satisfying crunch against his face.  I hoped that it was his face and not her hand that had broken.  Noses are not meant to sit at that angle.  I found myself hoping it healed crooked.  Ari pulled a cloth out of his sleeve, wrapped it around his nose, and snapped it back into place.  In all the commotion with Guinan I hadn't noticed that the grizzled dog was weeping at my feet.  Not whimpering or whining that you expect out of a dog but something that couldn't be mistaken for anything but well weeping.  I scratched her ears and she shivered against my thigh.  The hound of the Baskervilles next to Methos was as stoic as his master.  Ari set the cloth on the table before going around the table to his daughter.  My already high opinion of Guinan went up a couple more notches when I noticed she'd not only managed to break his nose but scraped his cheek with her ring and split his lip.  Not bad for a single punch, not bad at all.  It wasn't until he slipped one of  Evangeline's arms around his neck and started to lift her that I noticed that not only had he not healed but all three wounds were still trickling fresh blood and his lip and nose were rapidly swelling.

"Why aren't you healing?" Amanda asked.

"We heal by instinct" Ari replied as he smoothly cradled Evangeline "with discipline any Quickened can slow or accelerate the rate at will."  His normally clear dictation was muffled.

"Discipline or masochism?" new voice asked "Or guilt?"  The grizzled dog shot over to the woman in the doorway. She had the same general look as Ari and Evangeline but being both shorter and stockier lacked their ethereal quality.

"So you finally let her corner you into this."  Her dark brown eyes held nothing but sympathy.

"Catherine would you please take Aurincha and go to Guinan?"

Catherine raised one eyebrow "Guinan was here?"

"It was necessary" Ari snapped defensively.

"You wouldn't have done it otherwise" Catherine replied. "Guinan hasn't been around Mother for more than week at a time in sixty years.  I've had a ring side seat for all of the gymnastics you've done trying to avoid this of so stop bleeding everywhere, let yourself heal, stop feeling guilty, and please eat something."

"Who said I was feeling guilty?" Ari inquired haughtily.

"You didn't need to."

"Impertinent child."

"Old grouch."

Ari tossed her a cylinder. "Guinan broke a finger when she hit me.  There is a small garden a block and a half north, she is under the copper beech.  The wind will be picking up shortly and the tree has excessive dead wood, make sure you move under the fir or you will regret it."

"How did I destroy that woman?" Mac demanded.

"Another time, Highlander."

Catherine pivoted in the doorway and gave Mac an appraising glance.  Unlike Evangeline there was no contempt only intense curiosity.

"Cat, Guinan, garden, beech tree.  You can annoy him later if you are so inclined."

Her gaze flickered to Methos "And you are?"

Methos licked his lips "Ad" he started and then raised his chin "Methos"

"Really. My, my what are you up to now?" again the curiosity without censure.

"Cat, please."

She snapped her fingers and she and the dog disappeared out the door.

You had to wonder what kind of dysfunctional family we were dealing with.   Mac tried to grab Ari's arm but the black dog was suddenly between them hackles raised.

"Now." Mac demanded.

"I did not trouble you further the night you killed your student Highlander, kindly extend me the same courtesy." Ari retorted coolly as he sidled away from Mac.

"What the bloody hell happened to you?" Methos asked as he blocked Ari's move toward the door.

"Stand aside."

"Not until you answer me.  There was a time when you out shone the heavens, what the bloody hell happened to you?"  Methos sounded close to tears  "Futility didn't exist in your vocabulary.  Que cera, cera?  Since when?"

"Maybe it is not I who have changed, perhaps it is only your perspective that has."  Ari's voice had gone mechanically flat again.

"Bullshit"  Methos crossed his arms and planted himself between Ari and the door.  "Don't you dare tell me Au'Brey that after four thousand years you've come back only to die."

"You lost the right to call me that, Ad-Am."  The swelling had reached the point that he was starting to slur a bit.

"Damn it, she was right wasn't she?  Why the hell else reveal your full plan?"

"Get out of my way, Ad-Am."

"Was she right?"

"Possibly.  The Continuum's involvement with the structure of space/time creates blind spots given that they can do nearly anything they please it is impossible to even speculate on what might occur.  There are possible futures in which I do not always emerge from the shadow of those blind spots.  My death is a possibility not an inevitability and I have no intention of going quietly into the night.  I answered your question.  Move."

"No you didn't, what happened to you?  Where's the man I knew that moved mountains?"

"Tasyad still remembers you fondly Ad-Am, please do not force me to use him against you."

Methos didn't even glance at the dog.  Ari sighed shoulders rounding just a little and for a moment I was looking at a painfully thin man with a swollen blood streaked face in a ridiculous outfit holding the body of a woman who had to outweigh him by at least forty pounds.  And then he straightened and the full impervious hauteur was back.

"You're not leaving yet."

"Oh, but I am boy.  All things in their proper time." His gaze flickered to me "Your pardon, Mr. Dawson.  You will find your laptop and files fully restored.  You may wish to bring Talia's files on Cardassian, Klingon, and Romulan culture to the attention of others in your organization.  If they are provided to the correct individuals prior to First Contact with those worlds the Federation may avoid several costly wars and your organization might actually be worth all the grief and trouble you have caused through the centuries."

"You filtered my computer files?"

He continued in that same monotonic voice "Knowing that your time was limited I selectively allowed access only to that which would be useful for tonight.  You may peruse the rest at your leisure."

"What grief and trouble?"  Trust Amanda to be interested in grief and trouble.

"Horton was hardly the first individual to molded by the Tribunal to be a Hunter.  It has been a terribly predictable cycle through the centuries.  Every five to seven generations the Tribunal decides that Blade is a myth and they pick some unfortunate dupe to become a Hunter to test the waters."

"And you just let it happen" Mac grumbled.

"When it is useful to do so.  And I found Horton quite useful in the matter of the Priest."

The wood of Amanda's chair cracked under Mac's grip.

"You arranged Darius' death?"

"I arranged events so that Horton had an opportunity but in the end I suppose that is just semantics.  Yes, I arranged the Priest's death."

Mac pushed away from Amanda's chair, tried to take a step forward, and roared in frustration when he nearly fell.

"Temper, temper, temper." Ari chided "You really are such a contradiction.  On the word of the Witch who has done nothing but manipulate and use you, you were willing to consider killing a man who has saved both your life and your sanity on more than one occasion.  You condemned and reviled a man pulled himself up out of a madness the like of which you have never experienced.  And yet you put on a pedestal a man who personally murdered more of your precious mortals in a single century than that Horseman in his bloodiest millennium and was responsible for more deaths and misery than all four Horsemen managed in their entire lifetimes to date.  Darius did not repent of his deeds.  He was recreated.  Every quality that you so admired was placed there by me."

"And that gave you the right to destroy it?"

"I destroyed nothing Highlander.  What is the First Law of Thermodynamics?"

Mac just blinked at him.

"Energy is neither created nor destroyed.  There are of course exceptions but allow me to assure you none of the Quickenings released by Horton and his merry men were lost.  Good night."

Methos stepped aside allowing Ari pass him.

"A question for you Bren'hamin" Methos' head snapped up "if the Firebird falls, will the Griffin finally test his wings?"  He withdrew into the night without waiting for an answer.

                        My bladder chose to remind me of its existence in the uncomfortable silence that followed Ari-El's withdraw.  I wondered how in hell I was going to get to the can if Mac couldn't even stand.  I was pleasantly surprised that I was no wobblier than usual.

"Where were you?" Mac demanded of Methos.

"When?"

"Damn it where were you?"
"I'm not a telepathic clairvoyant, MacLeod."

"Where were you when your pal was making my life a living hell?"
I'd always wondered that myself.

"I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know."

"Exactly what it sounds like MacLeod.  I promised Joe I'd arrange Richie's funeral.  I went to my place to get some things and woke up two years later in Montana."

"Montana?"

"Yes.  Montana." Methos licked his lips nervously "After I spent a couple of days hiking to town I got on the first flight to Paris and promptly ran afoul of Walker.  That was the other half of what I was trying to get off your computer Joe."

"You could have asked."

"Yeh, well it wasn't exactly something I wanted to discuss."

I picked up a bottle of ambrosia "I think we've had enough of this shit."  As I turned pour the first bottle out Methos had the bottle and case before I even realized he'd moved.

"How did you do that?"

"Ambrosia is a powerful mind enhancing drug, MacLeod.  I've been taught how to use it, you haven't.  This is priceless Joe.  Each one of those bottles represents at least a hundred years worth of production.  This has to be the bulk of his most ancient and potent stock."  He set the bottle back in the case reverently "I think this frightens me more than anything else.  He wouldn't have given this if it wasn't going to be needed."

"The bastard drugged me so I couldn't fight him."

"If that was all he wanted MacLeod there are more easily obtained drugs" Methos rejoined.

"Whose side are you on?"

Methos froze.

"You heard me Methos none of your little games.  It's one way or the other."

"I think I'd better go." He said and took my case of ambrosia with him.