A/N: ...it's still Friday somewhere. As always a huge thank you to anyone who reviews this, or adds it to their favorites or alerts. There's just two chapters left after this one, hopefully you'll enjoy this one too.
San Francisco, California
March 11th, 1990, 1:45 AM
The Love and Joy Hotel
The hotel room door slid shut behind Hyde, and he let himself dump down on the double bed. The room was pitch black, but he didn't bother to get up and turn the lights on. He just laid there, immovable in the darkness. He had screwed it up again, blown it up. At this point, he should have probably seen it coming. The way, she'd looked at him. "Just give me one reason." And his mind had blanked, he hadn't even known why he had said that in the first place.
They were a mistake, she was right. How many times had they screwed this up? Twice? Three times? Maybe even four times, if he was willing to count Veteran's day? He took a swig of the whiskey bottle, he'd gotten in the bar on his way back here. They had screwed up over and over, and wasn't it time to just put an end to it?
On the other hand, Hyde knew exactly why he'd said it. Because of the way, he could still clearly picture the bright smile on her face, whenever he'd paid close enough attention to her cheerleading gossip to know, the name of the slut she was mad at. The way, it had felt dancing with her at the Valentine's dance, knowing she loved him. That she actually really loved him. Her lazy smiles in the morning, when she woke up in the basement, just wearing his Zeppelin t-shirt. The way, it had felt kissing her the first time, that summer, after she, his chick, took him back.
Hyde had never been able to admit it, but he'd been happy back then. It was the whole reason, why he hadn't understood why Jackie couldn't just deal and be happy. He had thought, he had dealt with that a long time ago, moved on really, sometime between Jackie starting to go out with Fez and Sam wanting him to sign some legal documents years after, she'd ditched Point Place. Sure, he'd been happy with Jackie, but he'd moved on. It wasn't like he needed Jackie for that.
Except, it had been really cool to walk home with Jackie that night, last year, and actually talk. No hostility or all that crap, it had been almost like it used to. They'd gotten so good at avoiding each other, he'd almost forgotten how nice, it was to hang around her. Forgotten that she was funny, sharp as hell. Forgotten how gorgeous she was, forgotten what it felt like to want to kiss her. Forgotten how it felt like to kiss her. He took another swig at the whiskey bottle, and coughed. Hyde swallowed hard.
It didn't matter, what he thought about this. He put the bottle down on the bedside table. He had to remember that, he thought to himself, as he flopped down on the bed. All of that, whatever was going on inside his head, didn't mean shit. Because Jackie thought, it was a mistake. Jackie didn't think of that same crap he did, Jackie needed convincing, Jackie needed a reason. So none of it meant shit. Even, if he had come up with a reason.
San Francisco, California
March 11th, 1990, 02:02 AM
A hotel hallway at The Love and Joy Hotel
"So," Jackie said, as they slid down on the floor next to each other. The hallway was basically deserted, which was probably for the best. Fez didn't seem like he was in a partying mood right now. Maybe he was just tired, or nervous. Getting married tomorrow had to be terrifying. His shirt was untucked, and his butterfly untied. He had to have left the jacket at the restaurant or in his room. Jackie kind of wanted to talk to him about Steven, but she was intending to keep her mouth shut, not bring up any of that stuff. And Fez shouldn't have to worry about anything, besides his wedding. Not that there was anything to worry about with her and Steven. "You're getting married tomorrow, Fezzie."
"Why did you leave John, the fancy lawyer?" Fez asked. Jackie gave him a curious look. That was probably one of the last questions, she'd expected him to ask, especially right after his rehearsal dinner for his wedding. Maybe, he was worried Kelly would back out or something. "I thought you said the reason, you and Kelso could never have gotten married, was because he was too stupid to be a lawyer. You're not still hung up on me, are you Goddess?" he continued, more teasing than anything else.
"God, Fez no. Sometimes people just change their mind," Jackie replied, on the verge of laughter. Fez gave her a doubting look, he wasn't buying it. She sighed heavily. She might as well tell Fez, maybe it would help her actually articulate how she felt. "I mean, yes. John was a good lawyer, rich, paid for everything and he was nice to me. Even though, he thought my job was dumb and he apparently complained to Brooke about Betsy being annoying at Eric and Donna's wedding, I thought I could live with that, you know? But sometimes, you just realize, you want something else, than what you think, you want."
"Like when you go to get one kind of candy, but you end up buying something else when you're in the store, because it's better?" Fez asked, and Jackie resisted the urge to laugh. Of course, that was the analogy, Fez would immediately go to.
"Yeah, if you want to look at it that way. I don't know. I used to think, when you were happy together, you just got married, and then you were happy together for the rest of your life," Jackie said. Fez looked to be deep in thought, which was odd, because Fez had never liked John that much. "And then, I realized, we weren't even happy together. He never really made me laugh, and I never made him laugh. Sure, he was a lawyer, but all he ever talked about was his job, never interesting stuff."
"Alright," Fez said, suddenly sounding resolved. Jackie gave him a confused look. She had no idea, where he was going with this. "You've convinced me. I'm not going to marry Kelly."
"What the- what? What are you talking about, Fez?" she said. "That was not what you asked about at all. Are you sure? Are you serious?"
"Yes, I'm serious, Goddess. I'm not going to marry Kelly," Fez repeated, sounding even more resolved, if that was possible. God, she was beyond done with tonight. First, Steven was acting weird, and now Fez was being even weirder. If she hadn't been in the middle of the conversation, she seemed to be having with Fez, she would have just gone to sleep. This was too much to handle at this time of night. "Sometimes, you don't want the things, you think you want. Besides why do you care, you've ditched your wedding before?"
"Yes, three months before, Fezzie. Not the night before. Although, we couldn't get our deposit back- That's not the point. You have to think about this, Fez," Jackie said. She really didn't want Fez to ruin his chance to be happy. Sure, none of the rest of them got exactly why Fez wanted to marry Kelly, but he seemed to like her, and there had to be a reason, he'd asked her to begin with.
"But I have thought about this, Jackie," Fez said, and she could tell, he actually meant it. Just like he'd clearly meant it, when he had told her, he didn't think Jackie and him could be happy together. "I like Kelly, and she is really pretty. But she is also always on her job, and I don't see her for that long. And I ran into Caroline, the last time I was visiting you in Los Angeles-"
"Wait a second, you got together with Caroline?" Jackie interjected, more than prepared to punch him. Sure, Kelly was dumber than Michael, Steven was right about that, and she seemed to think, she was prettier than Jackie, but if Fez had cheated on her, Jackie didn't care about that. She didn't even care that Fez was one of her good friends, she would gladly punch him.
"No! Of course, not," Fez said, clearly offended, and Jackie didn't doubt him. Fez might have spent a considerable amount of his time in Point Place chasing after girls, but he didn't cheat on anyone. "We just talked some more, and she really is doing better, and I think I get it a little more now. We're friends, but I just think that maybe-"
"You just think, that maybe things aren't entirely done between you," Jackie said with a deep sigh. How was this conversation even reminding her of Steven, when he couldn't even come up with a good reason for why them ending up kissing every time, they saw each other lately might not be a mistake. Whatever, she was going to stop thinking about Steven. There were clearly more important problems at hand. Jackie could think about Steven later, if it wasn't for the fact that she absolutely wasn't going to think about Steven at all. Fez nodded. "But why, Fez?"
"I'm not just going to get together with Caroline," Fez said. "But the biggest problem, we used to have, was that she- you know didn't get any help. And now she is doing better, and I really liked her, and maybe we wouldn't have broken up, if she hadn't yelled at you and Donna like that."
"Well, I think you should go talk to Kelly," Jackie said. It wasn't her finest moment, doing what she could to set Caroline off, but she and Donna had thought, they were doing Fez a favour. Maybe they should have just let Fez figure it out in his own time. Fez moved to get up. "But maybe don't put that much emphasis on Caroline. That's probably going to make it worse. And don't say you are in love with me or Donna either to get out of it."
"Duly noted. I'll go talk to Kelly," Fez replied, his shoulders slumped. Jackie could understand why. As much as he might genuinely like Caroline, this probably wasn't a conversation, he wanted to have. He started to walk towards the elevator.
"Oh, and Fez?" Jackie said, making him stop in his tracks. He turned towards her. There was something thick in Jackie's throat, and she didn't say anything for a moment. "Call Caroline tomorrow. If you really think, she's what you want, it deserves a fair shot."
"I'll do that," Fez said, and now he was actually smiling. Something tugged inside Jackie's chest. "What about you, Goddess? Have you found someone, you thought wasn't right but actually was?"
"No," Jackie said with a shake of her head, and a small smile. Maybe that wasn't the entire truth, but it was close enough. Maybe Steven genuinely didn't think all their recent making out was a mistake, but neither he nor she could come up with a reason why, it wasn't. Besides, even if it wasn't a mistake, that was no guarantee. They could mess up again. Maybe Steven didn't even want that, she wasn't even sure if she wanted that. Jackie clenched her fists, she didn't want to think about Steven, until she had gotten this Fez problem out of the world.
"Yes, you do," Fez said with a knowing smile. "It's Hyde."
"What? Fez, it's not Steven!" Jackie said, because he'd hit a lot closer to home, than she had expected him to do. Not that Steven actually was that person for her. He couldn't be, if they couldn't even come up with a reason why, it wasn't a mistake. That was what Jackie had said to Steven, and it was what she had practically convinced herself of, by the time she found Fez in the hallway.
"What? It's not?" Fez asked. She shook her head. He seemed to buy that. Jackie wasn't sure how, it didn't even sound convincing to her. "Damn, and here I thought, I had you all figured out, Goddess."
"Well, I am a woman of mystery," she replied with a smile, as Fez turned to head for the elevators again. The smile faltered from her face, as soon as Fez had turned his back on her. The words didn't sit entirely right in her mouth. Maybe Steven was right, maybe it wasn't a mistake. But Jackie could only come up with one reason why, because it still felt the same. It still felt like she was 18, and way too in love with Steven. Kissing him at New Year's had reminded her of when, they were doing good, and she would think to herself, that she could get used to that. That she could do that forever. All of that was ridiculous, because way too much had happened since then. She got up from where, she had been sitting on the floor. It didn't make sense, that she would feel like she was way too in love with- Jackie's breath caught in her throat.
"God damn it!" Jackie said, once Fez had disappeared. You didn't feel like you were way too in love with someone, if you weren't, did you? Jackie looked down on her hands, they were shaking. She balled them up into fists. She needed to talk to Steven, actually properly talk to Steven.