CHAPTER SIX

BELLA'S POINT OF VIEW

I couldn't remember the last time I had breathed this heavy, but running around Mrs. Rose's backyard with Emmett made me feel like I had been playing all my life. I had the time of my life playing games with him, but my feet were starting to hurt and I had to go to the bathroom. Maybe it was time to just sit down and read some of my new books.

It was as if she had heard my thought process, because Mrs. Rose appeared at the doorstep as soon as I made up my mind. "Hi Bella! Why don't you come inside and get cleaned up? The rest of the family will be home soon, and then you can meet them." I nodded obediently and walked inside. It was hard to remember where my room was, but Esme helped me find my way while Mrs. Rose stayed behind to talk to Emmett.

"Did you have fun with Emmett, Bella?" She asked.

"I did, but I think I'm ready to sit down and read a book." I yawned with my reply. As we were hallway up the stairs, I heard some voices call to Esme from another room in the house below. She moved her lips a little, and then acted like she was just going to ignore them and keep walking me to my room. "You can go ahead. I think I remember now." I said, politely trying to earn a little privacy.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes ma'am." I nodded.

"You sound like Jasper with those manners. Let me know if you need help dear!"

I nodded, then walked the rest of the way to my room alone. I washed my hands so I didn't smell like the outside anymore, and took my time drying them in my adjoined bathroom. As I finished, I thought about meeting the rest of the family. Did I want a family? Yes. The answer came before I could think about it another second, but I was still afraid. Would this family really be forever? No answer came. As much as I loved the thought of Mrs. Rose and Emmett being my new Mommy and Daddy, I didn't know if the rest of their family would want me that long. Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper were very nice, but that could just be with the logic that I was a houseguest. I did not want to overstay my welcome, no matter how much I wanted to stay with this family.

Family. What is a family? I had hardly ever had the chance to learn. I had it at one point though. I don't remember much about it, but I remember having two parents. Two turned to one, and one turned to none. Could none turn to two again?

My thoughts wandered to my Daddy. Where was he? Would he be upset if someone else adopted me? Did he even remember me? I knew that as long as I lived, I would never forget him- or the night that everything about our little family was cut drastically short. The words he left me with before they took me away kept running through my head. "Bella, don't ever let them tell you that you're crazy. Believe in yourself, and Daddy will always be proud of you."

What would he think about how I've done so far? I definitely went through times at the orphanage where I let girls call me crazy, and didn't believe in myself. I walked into my library and grabbed the first book I saw: "That Bites"- a collection of research on proposed methods to change humans to vampires. The cover was a close up of sharp fanged teeth, with blood red lettering. I shrugged and took the copy with me into my bedroom to crack it open. I had just gotten into the first page when I heard a knock on the door.

"Bella?" Mrs. Rose's sweet voice asked.

I looked up and offered a shy smile. "Hi."

She stepped in carefully, as if not knowing if she was welcome. That was silly- this was her house. "Bella, do you think you're ready to go meet the rest of the family?" Her voice was cheery and optimistic, which calmed me a little bit.

"Who else is there?"

"Only two more people- Alice and Edward, my brother and sister in law. I think you'll really like them! Edward is very kind, and Alice will immediately love you. I promise. The rest of the family will be there, but you've met everybody else."

"Okay."

I felt her come sit down beside me on the bed. "Are you alright, Bella?"

"I'm still thinking… about what you and Emmett said earlier." I blushed and tucked my head down, staring at the carpet.

Her arms came around me. "I'm glad you're still thinking about it Bella. It's a big decision, and I want you to take your time. Don't feel any pressure to give us an answer immediately. We'll be here whenever you're ready."

I looked up into her eyes, and saw nothing but love. "Why do you want me, anyways?"

She smiled and kissed the top of my head before replying. "Can I tell you a secret?"

I nodded.

"I've always wanted to be a mommy, and I couldn't figure out why I wasn't one already. But I think I was just waiting for you. Even if I only get to have you for a few weeks, you have already made me so happy and proud."

Tears filled my eyes, and I blinked them away.

She must have seen this, because she hugged me then stood up. "I'll let you have a little more alone time before you meet them. When you're ready, just call for me and I will come up. We'll go down together, alright?" I hugged her and agreed, and then she left.

I rose and went to look at my reflection in the mirror. I could almost hear my real Daddy's voice encouraging me. "Go get 'em, Bella. They're gonna love you." I tried to be brave. I wanted to make him proud, but I was so nervous. I didn't want to mess this up. I didn't want to go back to the orphanage. I couldn't. Time to suck it up and play the music. I walked to the door with hesitation, opting not to call up Mrs. Rose. I didn't want her to think I was a baby. I could go downstairs like the big girl I was.

I stumbled out the door and made it to the top of the staircase before I froze. I was trying to muter up the courage to walk down the first step when a door right beside me opened to reveal Jasper. He looked down at me and smiled before crouching down to my level. "Well hello there, little lady." He said, in a funny accent.

I was filled with embarrassment at the fact that he had caught me stuck on top of the stairs. "Hi Mr… I mean hi Jasper."

His eyebrow quirked like he was worried about something. "Are you okay?"

I found myself wordless again, nodding. My nerves had somehow taken away my ability to speak with manners.

"Are you nervous?"

"Yes, sir." I lowered my head in shame, and he raised it to meet his eyes.

"Why are you nervous, Bella? Everyone will love you. We already do."

I don't know what it was, but I felt the sudden urge to tell him everything. I felt like I could trust him, and he would understand. "I'm nervous about getting a new family."

He seemed to think about this for a second, and then took my hand. "Why don't you come in here for a second?"

I followed him into the doorway and was floored to see his own personal study, filled with books. His was dimly lit and kind of rustic looking, complete with a fireplace. I felt smarter just standing there. "This is my study. Why don't you take a seat?"

I walked with careful enthusiasm to one of the big leather chairs, and he had to help me into it because I was just a little too short to climb in. Once I was settled and comfortable, he sat in the chair across from me. "Now why does it make you nervous to have a new family? Don't you want a family?"

"I do, but what if they don't like me? And what if I get a new Mom and Dad and forget about my real ones?"

He took my hand and I felt my worries being filled with peace. "It's okay to love your family, Bella. That means your old family, and your new family. I think your parents would want you to be happy, and I think they would want you to have parents like Rose and Emmett. I know that they already love you so much, and I know that they really would love the chance to be your Mommy and Daddy. But they also will understand that you will still love your other parents. It's okay to have both, Bella."

A tear rolled down my face. "It is?"

He smiled warmly, and it made me feel so safe. "Of course it is, darlin'. Did you know that I am adopted too?"

That caught my attention. "Yes. I don't know if Rose wanted you to know that or not, but Carlisle and Esme adopted us. So I know how you feel. It's hard to totally change your life and open your heart up to a new group of people, especially when you're afraid of being rejected. But Bella, it doesn't mean that you have to forget where you came from. It just gives you even more people to love that love you. Does that make sense?"

I sniffled. "I… I think so."

"You'll find out that everyone in this family is from different places, and we all are different people because of it. But this family is so special because we can all come together and love each other still, and I know that's what we all want to do for you. But even if you don't choose to stay here, I want you to know that we will help you find the best family out there. You're going to get it, but you have to believe that you deserve it. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes sir." I said quietly.

He stood and messed with my hair. "Aww, cmon darlin'. I know you can do better than that. Let's be brave together. Stand up."

I followed his direction, and he smiled before giving me more instructions.

"Now stand really tall, like the tallest you can get." I stood on my tip toes. "Very good. Now I want you to repeat after me. I, Bella Swan-"

"I, Bella Swan-"

"Am gonna go kick butt downstairs right now."

I giggled. "Am gonna go kick butt downstairs right now."

He strained his ears. "I can't hear you, Bella!"

"I'M GONNA GO KICK BUTT DOWNSTAIRS RIGHT NOW!" And then I fell over from laughing so hard.

"Atta girl. Let's go." He took my hand, and led me out of the door with a big grin on his face. I wasn't so afraid anymore.

"Thanks Jasper. I think I might wanna stay here." I said to him quietly while he accompanied me to the lower level.

His entire face lit up.

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