Author's Note! Oh.my.god. Update! Sorry it took sooo long, but I had a small patch of writers block. But! But! after 2 weeks, 4 wasted trees from so much paper ballage, 3 completely different beginnings, and 1 song fic later..here it is. It's almost 8 hand written pages. I'm pretty sure this will make up for the delay..winkhintwinkwink My wrists and hands are screaming for a massage and my shoulder has just joined in. eight pages (three thousand PLUS words)...in school...jesus, that's a lot. Hope you likey! and do nottttt forget to review!

I was gonna replace the teasers chapter, but I decided just to keep it up.
Check out my newest song fic 'No Good', it was birthed while trying to write this.

I don't own the whole Instant Star character thing. I do own Katerena, Ava, aaanndddd this plot.

onto to the fic now...

The Departure

Jude didn't sleep that night, sh etossed and turned and turned and tossed. All she could seem to think about was the fact she was leaving her parents to go and live in their country home and it wasn't something she was exactly looking forward to. As the sky began to lighten she sat up in her bed, a thought striking her. She threw her legs over the side of her twin bed, shivering as her barefeet met the cold wood floors. She slipped on a pair of fur lined slippers and grabbed her sweater from the bedframe, putting it on quickly as she tip toed out of the room.

Five minutes later, she pushed the door to the roof open and took a deep breath of fresh air. Sighing as she walked to the edge where the roof slanted, she pondered a moment where and how she'd land if she jumped. Would she die? Or would she be found unconcious and taken by men...or worse, natzi's? The thought frightened her and she unconciously began twirling the rings around her finger, getting lost in her own silent reverie. Her eyes stayed glued on the sky above the roofs of the houses in front of her that was beginning to turn a light blue, like her eyes.

It wasn't until she heard her name did she come back to reality. "Jude.."

Thinking it was all in her head she kept staring in front of her. "Jude?" she heard her name again, this time closer, and turned this time recognizing his voice. She smiled widely, and stepped closer to him, her slippers crunching in the near frozen over snow. She shivered involuntarily as his hand grasped hers, and he looked down at their joined hands then back up at her shining eyes, at a lost for words. His mouth hung open unconciously for a few seconds. "Cat got your tounge, Quincy?" she joked, using their new last name. He chuckled embarassingly, watching as she let go of his hand and walked to where she previously stood.

She rested her palms on the four inch plank that was the beginning of the slope downwards and looked down at the Prinsengracht, supressing a frown as she dropped her head. "I..I used to come up here all the time.." she started, focusing more on the ring than the canal. Thomas stayed in his position, his soft breathing evident in the cold air and bit the corner of his lap as he looked at her back. "..just to think..or..or dream of my life when I was grown up." she raised her head to see the sun beginning to lighten the sky to a light purple.

"I spent most of Katerena's first two or three years up here after my dance classes were canceled. She was a crier and I could barely concentrate, so this was my great escape." she held up her palms and chuckled, but Thomas could hear the tears building in her voice. She shook her head, sniffling. "Do they realize the danger they are putting us in? Me," she placed a hand on her chest her back still towards him. "Being of german dialect, and looking like I was just...spit out from the natzi stereotypical picture of perfectionism...and you," she turned to face him and he seen the salty evidence of tears on her porcelain cheeks as she held out her hand to gesture towards him.

"You..you look exactly like a jew should...and Katinka.." she shook her head feverishly, knitting her eyebrows together. "..katinka could give them a problem. I don't think she realizes the seriousness of the matter." she tightened her sweater around her waist, a frown finally befell her. "They would shoot us without a second thought.." He closed the distance between them in a few strides, and enveloped her in a warm hug. He stroked her hair as her sobs became more profound. "Shh, girl.." he murmured as she snuggled deeper into his hold. "Shh..girl, you gotta have some type of faith..being pessimistic won't make out situation any better.."

She shook her head, glancing up at him. "And what happens if the people there figure you're a jew..?" she asked softly, looking down to play with the buttons of his jacket. "Shall we run, god forbid..or," she stuttered trying to find the right word. "or..or..will we be killed? I'm only sixteen.." she emphasized.

Thomas shook his head, and held her out at half-arms length. "No, Jude.." he shook her slightly. "That isn't going to happen..it won't happen..i promise." he said reassuringly, brushing a piece of hair from her face and cupping her cheek. "How do you know?" she mumbled as he took both cheeks in his hands.

His eyes watched as she licked her lips, looking at the ground, things obviously running through her mind and he felt the urgent need to press his lips against hers. His eyes rose to look over head, the sun beginning to peak over the rooftops. Her heart picked up speed as his eyes lowered to hers and his face seemed to move closer to hers. Things seemed to move in slow motion as she covered his hands on her cheeks, and their lips touched innocently. Her heart broke from a sprint to a marathon as she dropped her hands to loop them around his neck at the same time his arms moved to around her waist to pull her closer, if possible. Fireworks went off under her eyelids as their lips molded together, moving in sync.

A few minutes later, which seemed like an eternity for the two, they pulled apart and leaned their foreheads against one another. Her breath came out in evident short spurts, afraid that her heart would burst from her chest. Her first lip kiss was better than she expected, and she was glad she saved her first one for him. Sure, she got kissed on the cheek by potential boyfriends and family, but this...this was different.

He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, drawing her into his chest and sighed contentedly as she wrapped her arms around his abdomen. They stood there together for several moments, breathing eachother in, both afraid to break the euphoria that had settled upon them. The sun shone brightly now, making Jude's hair seem to glisten, and began melting the light snow that had fallen overnight. "C'mon Jude, let's go in befpre they get suspicious.." she nodded in compliance, taking his hand in hers leading her to the roof access door. He pulled open the door and as they walked through, she turned around one last time to look at one of her now favorite places with a smile dancing upon her lips.

------ (later) ------

The setting sun shone blindly through the window of Jude and Katerena's old room, onto their bare eggshell blue walls and folded matresses. All the happiness Jude held onto after Thomas kissed her drained slowly as the evening came closer and closer. Her shoulders slumped forward, frowning as she zippered her duffel bag closed and looked around. "Jude!" Edward called from the sitting room where he sat with Thomas and Katerena. It was time to leave, and she was not ready. Emotionally or physically. Her body just seemed to want lay down and not get up, but she straightened her jacket and picked up her duffel bag. She wanted to grab onto the bed rail and never let go, but then her lips tingled and the morning replayed in her head, so she walked out of the room into the sitting room. That was enough for her.

In the sitting room, Edward sat in one of the ottomans with his eyes transfixed outside. Although he was only 33, the worry lines and frowns made him look older than he actually. "Oh, Daddy.." she said, dropping her duffel and rushing over to him to throw herself into his lap. His arms went immediately around her, making sure she didn't slip. She hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go, and buried her face in his neck. "I'm gonna miss you so much, Daddy.." she whispered, on the verge of tears.

She was surprised tears were still forming, the past three or four days was the most she'd ever cried in her life and she thought that she'd run out of them. Edward breathed deeply, hugging her back just as tightly. A few moments passed silently before he pushed her back slightly, cupping her chin. "You will always be my Säuglingsmädchen, remember that." he reinforced as she nodded helplessly. "I love you, okay? I'm sorry about having to send you away like this..but this is for the best. Believe me." he murmured the last bit, and she swallowed a sob.

She felt like a child again, sitting on her father's lap and crying after a bad day at school. "I do, Daddy. I know..I love you too." she wiped a tear beginning to slid down her cheek with the back of her hand. She stood up from his lap, straightening her skirt. "It won't be long, Jude..I promise." he said, standing up with her. She nodded, looking down. He looked over top of her dropped head to Thomas. "Take good care of my mädchen, Thomas.."

Thomas nodded from where he stood waiting with Katerena. It pained him to see Jude like this, and he walked over to Jude putting his arms around her soulders. "No worries, Mister Harrison." he said, pressing a smile. A tingle ran up her spine as he touched her, and it took all she had to not shiver. Edward nodded, patting Thomas' shoulder. "You're a good boy, Thomas." he turned to look at the grandfather clock. "The train leaves in about an hour..you hould go before it leaves." he murmured the last part just loud enough for them to hear.

Jude's eyes stayed on her feet, nodding then went to hug her father one last time. "I love you.." she whispered. He smelled like after-shave and cigars, a smell she'd never forget. He pushed her away, looking out the window as tears built up in his eyes. "Go ahead, Jude..you don't want to be late." he said, then walked over to Katerena adjusting her jacket, and smoothed down her red curls. "You be good, okay? Listen to your sister and Thomas.." he drew her in for a quick hug, then stood up. Jude leaned her head on Thomas' shoulder watching. Katerena stepped back, biting her lip. "Yes daddy..please write me?" she murmured, he nodded for her sake although everyone else in the room knew he wouldn't for the possible danger in doing so.

"C'mon Tinka.." Jude said stepping from Thomas' hold, taking her sister's hand as they moved towards the front door. Katerena squeezed Jude's hand as tightly as her strength would allow. Jude murmured supporting words to her in dutch as she leaned on her head on her waist. Thomas stood there silently, watching the sister's interact, before grabbing Jude's duffel bag from where she discarded it when she entered the room. He adjusted his own satchel bag as he walked towards the door, and stopped as Jude did. Her head turned over her shoulder. "Bye, Daddy.." she said, then turning around to face forward and murmured to no one as she crossed herself. "Lord knows when we shall meet again.."

if I was drowning in the sea..
Would you dive right in and save me?

As Thomas closed the door to her apartment, Jude felt her heart drop. She felt aware of every single thing around her. Every sound, sight, and smell. Descending the spiral stairs, gunshots were fired off in the distance. Thomas, expecting Jude to have a bad reaction, was surprised as she kept advancing without a single word. Jude did her best to keep her composure without showing it, and yanked the door open. She stepped out into the setting sun, feigning a yawn. Thomas slipped his free arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him, still holding onto her sisters hand. Her heart pitter-pattered as his hand rubbed from her forearm to her shoulder.

Thomas' star of david had been ripped from his navy blue coat, and a jacket that once belonged to Edward covered up the lighter fabric where it was once stitched. But even without the star and the extra jacket on, he felt a panic rise as two natzi officers passed by them, and he tried his best not to show it. Katerena kept her eyes on the ground as they passed through hoards of people, and tried not to notice everything happening as she sung to herself a dutch school song.

if I was falling like a star...
Would you be right there to catch me?

The setting sun glowed brightly as it began setting, opposite of where it rose, and Jude had to squint to keep from being blinded from it. Before she realized it they were at the rain station. She patted the pockets of her khaki coat and pulled out her new identification papers and train ticket, along with Katerena's. They stood in the middle of the platform, watching as people came to and fro. In between the people she seen a group of 8 jews, a family she concurred, and she caught the younger girls eye. She was tall and lanky, terribly skinny, and had the palest of skin she'd seen anywhere. Her brown hair fell in curls that had been pinned, and held onto a ruck sack probably filled with clothes.

She frowned hard, seeing them being pushed roughly by the natzi officers onto the train. It was unfair the way they were being treated and she looked down at her shoes so she didn't have to see the fear and pain in the young girls eyes. Thomas noticed where Jude was looking and leaned into whisper in her ear, "Even if you said something, they'd still be headed for the same direction...the same fate." he leaned back, pecking her cheek lightly. She blushed lightly, and gave his hand a small squeeze. Her lips tingled some, and she smiled up at him. Thomas looked up as their train was being called to board, and Katerena slumped forward as they began walking again.

If i was dreaming of your kiss...
Would you look right through me?

Different directions were being shouted over a loud speakers as passengers pushed their way through. Jude turned to her right, to make sure Katerena was beside her, and stopped at the back of a short, but winding line. When they got closer to the train, she felt a tugging on her arm. She stooped to Katerena's eye level, glancing up at the natzi officer standing behind Katerena, watching her. "What is it, 'Tink?" she said into her ear, over the roar of the train station.

Katerena shifted from one foot to the other, holding onto the straps of her ruck sack. "I have...to...pee!" she exclaimed, her eyebrows knitted together. Jude straightened up, and looked around. Behind the three of them someone cleared their throat in a rude manner. She looked forward to see Thomas stepping onto the train steps and handing the conductor his papers and ticket.

On this street I'm waiting,
And in my heart it's raining..

She held her breath as the conductor looked over the ticket and stamped it in approval. Again a throat was cleared, and she bent over again. "You can go inside the train, okay?" she looked from Katerena to the Pole and back. Katerena nodded, and just as they stepped forward someone from the back shouted, "Don't let that heathen on the train!!!"

Jude groaned, knowing her sister's red hair was going to be a problem was obvious, but she was hoping it was not now. She didn't need the attention on them. She stepped onto the train, ignoring the comment and held out her and her sister's papers to the conductor. Jude's world seemed to slow down to a crawl and tensen as he read them over, then stamping them in approval. She relaxed looking into Thomas' brown eyes as she walked through the train car doors immediately taking Thomas' hand.

Your eyes, are holding up the sky.
Your eyes, make me weak I don't why..

They manuevered their way down the aisle between the two rows of seats, towards their own seat. Passing by a door, Jude stopped Katinka. "Here, give me your bag and use there bathroom.." she said, opening the door. "Our seats our over there.." she poitned to where Thomas was putting their things under the seats a few rows back. Katerena nodded and walked in, remembering to lock the door after her.

Thomas was already seated when Jude sat beside him, looking at the seat facing him. He immediately laced his fingers through hers and she looked over at him smiling, then leaned her head on his shoulder. He gently kissed her head as she ran her finger delicately over the gold band on his finger. She looked at the burgandy carpet covering the floor beneath her, thinking of that morning on the roof. After they had went back in they barely had any time together, and she planned on asking him what it mean. If they were really 'together' or..Katerena interupted her thoughts as she flopped down on the seat across from her.

Baby your eyes, make me scared to tell the truth..
I thought my heart was bullet proof..

Katerena busied herself, digging through her ruck sack that Jude had set on her seat, and emerged with one of her dolls. She began playing with it as Jude watched. The train whistle blew twice, and heard the conductor yell, "Last Call!" She watched as Katerna made the doll dance and smiled softly as she then cradled the doll like an infant. Her eyes lifted from Katinka's action to Thomas' spectating eyes. "What're you thinking about?" he asked softly, his eyes following the old conductor down the aisles as did a head count. Jude sighed sligthly, placing her hand over their joined ones. "About why I couldn't be younger...it'd be so much easier...skinned knees are easier to deal with than treason.." she whispered without thinking of what she'd just said,looking out the window as the train blew one last time.

"Yeah, but...never mind." he said shaking his head then turnin to look out the window. The serverity of her words hit her as she seen his saddened reflection in the widow. She leaned her head on his shoulder, and kissed it softly. "I'm sorry..I'm sorry..I should've thought before I spoke.." she murmured pressing her cheek against his sholder blade. He shook his head, turning around to pull her into a hug.

Now I'm dancing on the roof...

"It's okay, Jude...I don't hold it against you. This is, by any means, is more than you can deal with at this moment.." he said understandingly, putting his finger under chin. "I mean, you were told only nearly a week ago.." he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Don't worry about it, ja?" she nodded in response, and he kissed her lips softly, but just enought to make her heart beat eratically. Katerena watched as late passengers hurridly found a seat, causing her to have to scoot over to let a embonpoint woman to sit down.

After their lips parted their faces stayed meters apart, eyes locked until Katerena cleared her throat. As much as I can ignore your lovely-doveyness..I'm sure she can't." she said, pointing in the direction of the seat sharer. Jude chuckled and sat back as the train lurched forward. "I'm sorry..I didn't realize.." she said, pressing her palm against her chest.

Now everybody knows...
I'm into you..

"It's just fine, honey." she said in a southern american drawl, and a smile grew as she noticed the rings on their fingers. "I love that just-hitched love..so sweet. I'm Ava by the way..Ava Gardner.." she extended her hand and Thomas shook it as Jude's eyes watched as they pulled away from the platform and away from Amsterdam. Just as they passed by where she could see the Prinsengracht, she pressed her hand against the glass. "Good-bye, haupt.." she whispered, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

-----

Author's Note Dos: so, it took longer than expected to type this up. My weekend was crazy, I got some of it done..and I really didn't want to post it as a two-parter. Just know that I will NOT give guarantees on when I'll be posting again. Hopefully, it will be soon. I'm already getting started on the next chapter and there are tons of ideas about the upcoming chapters.

Didn't I tell you that this chapter would make up for the late update?! Jommyness. Ahh.

other Notes:

(1): when describing the jewish family, I was describing the Franks, Van Pels, and Mr. Pffeifer. Although they wouldn't pass through that train station nearly four years later. If you, like me, are a big Anne Frank person you'd be able to tell that I was describing her vaguely.

(2): Pole means a polish person.

(3): embonpoint means a plump or full-figured woman. It IS a word. checked with my dictionary.

(; review please?