VictorianPearl: Here is another attempt at my humor. This is a bit more subtle than my other attempts though x.X I'm sorry that these stories are coming up slow, but here's the third story for you. Does anyone like Saturday Night Live?

Rating: PG

Type: Parody/Humor

Title: Spartan Cheerleaders

Syaoran stood on the sideline of the soccer field. It was currently halftime and he was watching his girlfriend perform with the other cheerleaders. He watched as she was tossed into the air and dropped back down.

"Beautiful, isn't she?"

Syaoran's eyes automatically narrowed. "You had better not be talking about who I think you're talking about Hiirigizawa."

"Do you mean Sakura-chan?" Eriol asked innocently. "Of course not! I mean, she is very attractive, but I was admiring Daidouji-chan."

"You better have been." Syaoran growled.

"Come now Syaoran-kun, are you going to attack every boy that thinks Sakura-chan is beautiful?"

"That's just it Hiirigizawa." Syaoran replied. "People do think Sakura is beautiful. You're the only one stupid enough to say anything in front of me."

"Now, now," Eriol scolded, "I've heard other boys comment on Sakura-chan and you didn't attack them."

"That's because they were telling me how lucky I was to have such a girl. They weren't drooling over her in front of me."

"I said it once and I'll say it again. I was commenting on Daidouji-chan."

Syaoran had difficulty suppressing an agitated sigh. Hiirigizawa always did this. Could he just leave a man in peace and staple his reincarnated mouth shut!"

"You must have to fight off many boys though." Eriol commented. "Just look at those short skirts the girls have to wear."

"That doesn't mean that everyone is staring at Sakura." Syaoran snapped. "The rest of the girls are wearing the same outfit."

"True, true, but some eyes wonder to some places more than others."

"Shut it Hiirigizawa!"

"Whatever you say,"

A thick silence came between Eriol and Syaoran. The crowd broke into cheers as the cheerleaders finished their routine. Syaoran would be glad to get back onto the field. At least he could avoid contact with Hiirigizawa who played goalie.

"She really is beautiful though." Eriol said

Syaoran looked where Eriol's gaze was, that way he would be able to tell if Eriol really was looking at Daidouji. It was difficult to tell who he was looking at though. Sakura was talking to Tomoyo off to the side of the field.

"I hope, for your sake, that you're talking about Daidouji like you said you were." Syaoran threatened.

"Calm down Syaoran." Eriol said. "Don't you think you're a bit overprotective? Sometimes, it's that exact quality that causes break-ups-"

Syaoran finally lost it; he swung at Eriol's face. The lucky boy barely managed to dodge the flying fist. He did not; although, dodge Syaoran's tackle, which sent them both rolling onto the field.

Syaoran's second swing hit target on Eriol's nose. Blood spurted everywhere and screams could be heard from the crowd. Yamazaki managed to pull Syaoran off of Eriol before things got worse. He was taken to the coach while Eriol was taken to the locker room for fixing up.

Syaoran reluctantly approached his coach.

The coach shook his head. "Syaoran, I'm not going to be able to let you play for the second half of the game. It can't happen again, understood?"

Syaoran nodded. "Hai, it will not happen again. It's just that, Hiirigizawa-kun always purposely agitates me."

"In that case, tomorrow, you'll both be sent to the office." The coach said.

"Hai," Syaoran replied with a sense of dread.

OOO

Syaoran moodily stalked to the principal's office. Last night and this morning had been far from enjoyable. Sakura had been pretty upset with him last night. She didn't even give him her traditional kiss goodbye. This morning, both she and Tomoyo had scolded him. They didn't even wait to walk with him to second period.

To make matters worse, his second period teacher, who hated him, had quite a time shoving Syaoran's office note in his face. He then retold the events of last night, earning Syaoran tow glares from two girls in front of him (Sakura and Tomoyo).

Syaoran paused in front of the principal's office. He took a drawing breath before opening the door and stepping over into the threshold. The principal was sitting with his hands clasped on his desk. Eriol was already there, occupying one of the two cushiony chairs.

"Please take a seat, Li-kun." The principal said, motioning to the vacant chair.

Syaoran stiffly took a seat in the chair next to Eriol. He tried vainly to block Eriol out of his peripheral vision.

"Now if you would please, tell me exactly what happened last night." The principal commanded.

"It happened at half time." Syaoran started immediately. "Hiirigizawa-kun was purposely making comments about my girlfriend that he knew would make me angry."

"Is this true Hiirigizawa-kun?" The principal asked.

"Yes, to an extent." Eriol replied coolly.

The principal frowned. "I'm sorry you two, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to give you detention."

Syaoran relapsed into a paralyzed shock. He would have a detention on his Windex-clean record! He could not afford something like that.

"Isn't there an alternative solution?" Syaoran asked desperately.

The principal's frown faded a little. "I suppose there is one thing you two could do in stead of detention."

"We'll do it!" Syaoran cried, ready to do just about anything other than detention.

"Alright," The principal replied. "There is a Sparta-themed rally coming up on Friday. We need a couple of students to be mascots and cheer for a few of the clubs and pose for pictures. Because there have been no volunteers, you two can do it."

"What kind of mascots?" Eriol asked.

"Spartan-themed mascots," The principal replied.

"The rally is next week. I'll arrange for you to meet with Mihara-chan at lunch. She will instruct you on how your performance should be."

As Syaoran listened, he vaguely wondered if detention would have been the better choice.

OOO

"These outfits aren't Spartan-themed!"

"Really? I didn't notice. What else have you figured out?"

"Don't get mad at me, you're the one that didn't want to sit quietly in the office for one hour."

"Excuse me, but there will be absolutely no reason for any college to not accept me based on any permanent record!"

"One detention wouldn't have done anything!"

Syaoran and Eriol were currently arguing on the track. All of the club booths were set up and Syaoran and Eriol were waiting to take their turn performing for a few of the clubs. They were each standing ridiculously in white cheerleading outfits with a large, red, S on the front.

"We're not even mascots!" Eriol exclaimed. "The principal is doing this because he's bored. Look at him! He's laughing at us!"

"We're up." Syaoran said dryly.

"Syaoran, could you do me a favor and stick me with your sword?" Eriol asked hopefully.

"No way in Hades am I doing this alone! If I'm going down, I'm dragging you down with me." Syaoran snapped, dragging Eriol out with him to the middle of the track.

As soon as Eriol and Syaoran took their positions spaced out on the field, the crowd grew more silent. Everyone eagerly waited what was going to happen.

Syaoran whispered under his breath. "One…two…one, two, three, four!"

"CHESS CLUB, CHESS CLUB, YOU'RE THE BEST! YOU BEAT THEM, BEAT THEM, ALL THE REST! C-H-E-S-S, CHESS!" Syaoran and Eriol yelled, taking turns doing cartwheels across the field.

The whole of Seijou High was clutching their stomachs they were laughing so hard.

"ROCKET CLUB, YOUR'RE GOAL'S TO GET TO THE MOON, YOU'RE SO HOT THAT I COULD SWOON! ONE-TWO-THREE-BLAST OFF!"

Syaoran ran and jumped onto Eriol's shoulders. Eriol unfortunately, lost his footing, sending both of the sophomore boys tumbling to the ground.

"Are we done yet?" A mangled Eriol asked form the ground.

"We've got one more." Syaoran replied grudgingly.

"SNAPS, PHOTO-SHOOTING CLUB, SHOOT MY PICTURE WITH A SNAP! AND FOR THAT, I WILL CLAP, SNAPS!

With the last cheer, the high school burst into applause. Eriol, enjoying the attention, took a bow. Syaoran stood, giving the crowd a stone face.

The principal walked out onto the track with a microphone. "Thank you Li-kun, Hiirigizawa-kun, that was very entertaining. ("I knew it!") Speaking of Snaps, if you would like a picture with one of our Spartan Cheerleaders, please go to the gym. You are dismissed."

Most of the school immediately crowded over to the gym. There were two separate lines. One was for picture taking with Syaoran, and the other was for picture taking with Eriol. One of the first people to take a picture with Syaoran was Sakura.

The pretty girl skipped up to pose next to Syaoran. "Okay Syao-kun, I forgive you for punching Eriol-kun." She said.

The picture snapped just as Sakura was giving her boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. Syaoran had a lopsided smile on his face. He watched as his girlfriend skipped out of the way for the next person in line. Maybe this hadn't been so horrible after all.

OOO