Sigh. It felt so good to wake up this morning and to not be in some strange room. I do love the reviews I have been getting. They make me smile!

Oh! SIDE NOTE: I know my characters are not who they really are. They are out of character. I know, and I'm not going to apologize. This is my story! No one seems to have a problem, but a few have mentioned it. So I thought I would clear that up that I do know that they are out of character.

And again: Jacob sucks. :D

Chapter Six: We Are a Messed Up Family

Bella got up Monday morning. Today was the big day! She couldn't wait. She stayed up late light night with Alice, getting together Jaspers dress and Emmett Hannah Montana outfit. Rosalie was upset with the family for making Emmett dress up like a pop star for a day, but nobody cared. They were all too excited about what was to come on the first day of the school week.

When Edward pulled up in his Volvo to pick Bella up for school, Bella noticed the two unfamiliar shadows in the back of the car; Alice was lodged in between them. Bella hopped in the front seat and spun around. There was Jasper in his dress on the left of Alice.

It was bright orange strapless dress. It fit his upper body nicely. To make it more womanly, Alice and Bella forced him to wear a strapless bra with stuffers, to make it look like he had a women's upper body. The silky figure fitting of the dress continued down to Jaspers hips, then immediately poofed everywhere. It seemed to fill up the whole bottom half of the car, there was so much poof. Jasper himself didn't look too happy. His hair had been intensely straightened and had a big orange rose hanging over his left ear. He had clip on dangling white hoop earrings that Bella picked up from Claire's the day before. He had a nice pink shade of lip stick on that seemed to compliment his dress. And for the final touch to the master piece, his eyes were bolded with eyeliner, and his eyelashes were as thick as dark. If Bella didn't know him better, she would have thought that he was a she.

Now for Emmett on the other hand, he seemed to be smug with his look, although again he looked completely female. He looked like Hannah Montana on steroids. He had the blonde hair, with brunette highlights that went down past his "boobs". He too was forced to be wearing a stuffed bra. He was wearing a bright blue sparkly tank top that went down past his hips. He was wearing tight white pants, that gave made him appear to have imaginary hips. And to complete the outfit, he had on 5 inch purple strap heals. His eye shadow was a nice pink, and his eyelashes seemed to reach for the sky. In his left hand he had a microphone. He had gotten a little to bit into his outfit, Bella thought.

After taking a good long look at her two "brothers", she about pee'd herself. She would of if Edward didn't remind her to breathe deep every now and then. Bella snorted in the front seat, while Alice sat in the back seat with a self-satisfied look on her face. She was obviously proud of turning her soul mate and brother into transvestites. Then it hit Bella. Where was Rose?

"Edward?" Bella asked.

"Yes, my love?" Edward responded as he pulled into Forks High

"Where is Rose?"

"Oh! Uh, we had to shove her into the trunk. She didn't approve of this and tried to ruin Emmett, so we ducktaped her and threw her into the back"

"Can't she break through ducktape?" Bella asked, now confused

"Like all creatures" Edward explained "We all have a weakness. Ours is ducktape"

"Wow, that sucks" Bella said. She was now thinking of some pretty evil things to do to Edward.

Edward cut the engine and got out of the car. He opened the door for Bella while Emmett got out of the car. It was hard to tell who he really was. You could obviously tell he was Hannah Montana from one side, and Emmett from another. Alice obviously did this on purpose, so that people wouldn't get confused with who dressed up like the Hannah Montana Steroid. Next was Alice, she looked amazing as usual. Edward was now getting Rose out of the trunk. Her eyes were on fire for a second, but then she took one look at Emmett and a huge giggle ruptured from her mouth.

"EMMETT! YOU'RE SO HOTT!" Rose shouted. This got everyone's attention. The whole school was in the parking lot, and now, everyone in the school was looking at the Cullen family- including Bella. Jasper just got out the car. The bottom of the dress looked like 5 people could comfortable camp underneath.

"Stupid… Emmett damnit…shit faced… banana" Jasper said; then froze when he realized that all of the schools population's eyes were on him.

"Everyone can see we're together" Edward whispered

"Yeah! But we're not walking on by" Bella whispered back

"And we fly like birds of a feather" Edward said

"Won't you tell no lie?" Bella answered

"All of the people around us" Alice spoke up

"They're asking if we can be that close" Edward said, reading their minds

"Just let me state for the record, we're giving love in a family dose" Rose applied to the conversation.

Just then Emmett froze. He had heard this before. It wasn't just a conversation, it was a song! Edward, out of no where, grabbed Emmett's microphone and starting singing "WE ARE FAMILY! I'VE GOT ALL MY SISTERS WITH ME"

Edward was the only male looking on with the group, and he couldn't help but add that in. Jasper shot Edward a sly look.

"What?!" Edward asked. He was amused; it seemed like the perfect moment to break out that part of the song.

"NO! NOT ANOTHER DANCE ROUNTINE" Bella shouted. She didn't want to go through that again.

The Cullen family agreed and they into school together.

"Hey Alice, are you sure Jasper isn't gay?" Bella shouted over Edward, Rose, and Jasper

"Yeah! Why?" Alice answered.

"Because I asked him if he was, and he hit me with his purse" Bella laughed back.

"Oh! Sure! Make the not so funny joke about the guy in the dress, and completely ignore the idiot in the Hannah Montana outfit" Jasper shot at Bella.

"Aww Come on Jasper!" Bella shouted, jumping in front on the group. "NOBODY'S PERFECT! YOU'VE GOTTA WORK IT!" Bella sang rather horribly, doing hip thrusts.

"Yeah! Come on Jasper!" Emmett jumped out too, joining in with the hip thrusts. "I'VE GOT NERVE!"

The rest just laughed and Jasper crossed his arms, putting the annoyed look on his face. Alice couldn't help but join in.

"Come on baby! You know you got to have the "best of both worlds! Chillin' out, take it slow, then you ROCK out the show" Alice said, now all three were doing hip thrusts in time with each other.

Tyler then walked by, eyeing Emmett and Jasper. Edward read his mind and caught Tyler's eye. Edward gave him a big smile and winked, sending Tyler to faint backwards in shock.

"What as he thinking?" Rose asked

"He was thinking about getting it on with Jasper in the closet in building three, next to the bathrooms"

"Oh dear. So why did you wink at him?"

"Because he wanted me to so I was going to be nice. Now I just have to fear the wrath of how he now thinks I want him"

"Does this mean there is going to be another sing a long tomorrow before school?"

"Yeah, but it's not about me"

"Who is it for then?"

"Ohhh. You'll find out!"

Just them, Bella tripped over her foot, crashing into Alice, who crashed into Emmett, sending them flying into the air and landing on the ground with a rather loud thud.

"Sometimes I work a scheme" Bella yelled, gasping for air "But then it flips on me"

"More like 'trips on me'" Edward said, now fully on laughing. Bella was stuck underneath Emmett's legs and Alice's stomach.

"Doesn't turn out how I planned! Gets stuck in quicksand!"

"Bella!" Alice laughed "Why are you still singing?"

"What can I say?" Bella said, gasping for air underneath all the weight "Everybody has those days"

Hahaha. I had fun with this chapter. The ending is iffy, but I had the song stuck in my head and needed to somehow get that in there. I hope you guys liked it!

OH! FYI - I post the chapter, and then I check it for any mistakes, so if it's iffy and I JUST now posted it, you might wanna hang on for a couple minutes till I get it set.