AN: Hooray, it's a long chapter again! And finally we've arrived at the dinner scene! We'll rejoin Tai Lung and his better half shortly. ^^

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Chapter 19: What Happened at Dinner

Wei stared impassively and politely at the opposite wall, willing the dinner to end. End, and end soon, he pleaded to the gods. The food was incredible, as to be expected. Po had really outdone himself with steamed dumplings stuffed with vegetables and herbs that the mantis couldn't even begin to identify, a hot pot of fish and a side offering of what could only be the mysterious stew that the panda had been plotting out the details of for days.

No, the food was not the problem.

The more formal dress of the occasion was a bit of an annoyance, he had to admit. The Five all moved with careful, overly delicate motions as they ate, careful of the grip they had on their chopsticks and especially conscientious of their formal clothing. All except Tigress, that is. The large feline's face spoke of extreme mental pre-occupation, but still she ate with such practiced grace that it was easy to believe that the bamboo skewers were extensions of her carefully filed but seldom seen claws. Her delicate grace seemed almost unconscious.

Po, of course, was the picture of a small child sitting for the first time at the grown-up table in his fine new clothing. As Wei watched, the Dragon Warrior slowly, deliberately gripped a single morsel of fish in his chopsticks and grimaced with impatience as he waited for the flavorful sauce to stop dripping. Wei couldn't help but smile fondly. Po might be the greatest warrior that China had ever known, but he was probably the most endearing individual that any of them had ever met.

The problem, the mantis thought with a mental sigh, was the miasma of increasingly painful politeness edged with poison that the meal had taken on. Stiffly formal to begin with, it had snowballed to monstrous proportions until they were all mechanically going through the motions of eating and small talk. The two responsible, of course, couldn't seem to stop needling each other. Whether it was intentional or just reflexive, the insect master couldn't say.

"You know, you do look quite presentable this evening, Shifu. What a difference some proper clothing makes."

Once again, what could either be an insult or a compliment made its' way from Lady Tao-hua's mouth to set them all on edge for the inevitable reply. Wei eyed Master Shifu nervously, watching the rapid flicker of emotions that was on display only in the red panda's eyes as he considered his response as carefully as a mahjohng movement.

"Thank you, Lady Tao, it is a refreshing change to see you in something flattering as well." The master sipped his tea with a smug expression as the tanuki took her turn to fume and ponder. Her bronze eyes flashed with something between approval and annoyance. Wei couldn't identify what exactly it might be, but it felt familiar.

It had been like this all evening long. Wei couldn't recall who had started it, but he did remember how it had begun. A comment gone just a little awry, with just a small, perhaps unintentional implied insult. From there, it had grown. A snide but tactfully put remark here, a double-edged observation there, and soon everyone else at the table was sitting up straight, avoiding direct eye contact with everyone else, and waiting for the most painfully polite meal in all of recorded history to be done before it went toppling over into all-out warfare.

The tension was nearly unbearable. For now, the two combatants were content to keep to their facade of supposedly polite commentary, but a quick glance to his fellows confirmed that everyone paying attention expected it to turn into a snarling confrontation at any moment. The memory of this morning's surprise shouting match, which Lady Tao-hua had backed down from for some reason, was fresh and clear in their minds. Whatever had been bothering the woman during practice seemed to be out of her system though, and she was making up for lost time at a record pace.

Wei rolled his eyes. An was once again attempting to break in, once more trying to play the peacekeeper. Even the crane's nearly unflappable personality seemed to be taking a beating from the implied abuse flying back and forth down the length of the table. Rather than embrace the openings that Crane was creating for them to back down, the two seemed almost annoyed by the interruptions.

Echoing that sentiment, Chen was eyeing his fellow master with a strange sort of suspicion. When he caught Monkey's eye, Wei found himself on the receiving end of the piercing glare. The mantis returned his attention to his plate, and quickly. What in blazes was wrong with everyone this evening, he wondered?

Tigress continued to ignore them all, apparently thoroughly lost in some incredible maze within her own mind. Wei couldn't believe she seemingly hadn't noticed the steadily escalating situation at the table. Or perhaps, he thought, she had finally perfected blocking out all disruptions to her mind with Po's "help" over the last few weeks. He hoped so. If Tigress didn't find her center of zen soon around the panda, they were all going to suffer the consequences of her short fuse.

That had to be it, the mantis decided, noting that Tigress's ears didn't even twitch as their master courteously inquired if Lady Tao had been educated in manners by a roving pack of well-intentioned bandits. Nor did Tigress so much as snicker when Tao-hua sighed wistfully and wished aloud in a patronizing tone that she could have "impeccable" manners such as Shifu was displaying this evening. The tanuki and the red panda glared at each other for a long moment before smirking at their stalemate, and that nagging feeling in the back of Wei's mind began whispering to him again.

What in the blazes was this reminding him of?

Tigress didn't notice the food, didn't notice the double-edged comments flying past her head, and didn't even notice the spectacular fumble by Po of a wonton that went sailing over the table between them to land right between her ears. She also failed to notice the full two minutes of breathless silence that gripped the table in the wake of the short flight, as everyone in attendance awaited her reaction with held breath. Tigress failed to react at all, and merely pulled another morsel of fish from her bowl to her mouth with complete indifference to them all and the piece of food resting on her skull.

Mantis pointed at the precariously-balanced wonton with a single (comparatively) enormous chopstick. "Okay, that's completely wrong."

Viper stifled a giggle, Monkey coughed vigourously to cover for the guffaw that had tried to burst from his mouth, and An gaped speachlessly at the sight. Po looked rapidly back and forth between his dumpling and Master Shifu, gesturing verbosely about his regret, confusion, and how amazing it was that he had not yet joined his ancestors in the world beyond.

Shifu's face was screwed up into a bewildered expression as he fought to divide his attention between one eerily unresponsive student, one frantically flailing one, and the female at the other end of the table who was favoring him with that inquisitively amused gaze. Finally, he held up a hand in Po's direction, signaling him to silence and stillness.

"That will be enough, Panda. Tigress?"

Tigress's brow furrowed slightly, and her head tilted the slightest bit to the side as the only indication she might have heard him. The dumpling rolled a hair's breadth to the left, rocking dangerously close to the slope of her forehead. Po and the remainder of the five gasped in hushed suspense at the motion.

"Tigress?" Shifu's cautious tone was tempered with a whisper of annoyance with her lack of response now, and he raised his voice slightly. "Tigress!"

The feline startled in her seat, head jerking erect as she was jostled out of her ponderings and back into the waking world. Her large golden eyes blinked in surprise at the interruption, as well as shock when Po leaned forward, rolled out his tongue and caught what appeared to be a flying wonton out of midair. Awkwardly choosing to ignore the sight and Lady Tao-hua's muffled snicker, she finally replied.

"Er.. Master?"

Shifu sighed, waving her overdue response away. "Nevermind Tigress, it's no longer important." His eyes couldn't help but be drawn to Lady Tao-hua, whom he could tell just HAD to be formulating some crisp remark. He frowned internally, resolving to wait for her observation like one awaited the first snowfall of winter; resolutely, preparedly, and with a good tally of one's stocks.

But she said nothing. Shifu's face quirked slightly in consternation at her silence. What was that infernal woman up to? He could tell she had a remark ready, the little twinges of a smile that kept tugging at her lips told him that as easily as they could have spoken the words- whatever they were. Her bronze eyes twinkled with mirth unvoiced, and he found himself both curious and a little impatient to know just what in the name of all that was sacred was so funny. Several tense minutes later, she still hadn't said a word.

"Well," he finally invited with a sigh, "Let's hear it, my lady."

Tao's smile widened, and he could swear that diabolical amusement in her eyes glowed all the brighter. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, Shifu." The tension at the table was back, and in amazingly bountiful supply.

Shifu's blue gaze squinted in challenge, and he let himself grumble a bit an irritation. "The canny observation you've formulated, of course. I can tell that you have one. Don't keep us all waiting, let's have it."

The tanuki's grin slid over into a full smile, and the red panda could tell that she was having to fight to contain a laugh. "Why Shifu, whenever did you become a mind reader? If you know so much about what I'm thinking, why don't YOU tell us what's on my mind?"

Shifu's expression shifted from annoyed to mystified, and finally settled somewhere in between. Whatever this new game was, he couldn't say that he cared for it. From the odd look of consternation on Mantis' face, the insect master was about to reach the limit of his hard-earned patience, as well. Before he could venture an opinion on the workings of the tanuki's nefarious mental state, however; she herself interrupted his thoughts.

"If you really must know, Shifu, I was just thinking that you really do look stunning in black and red." The amusement in her eyes had dimmed down to something less mocking, and more genuine. She was still enjoying the fact that she'd fooled him, but fondly instead of with the anticipated malice.

The master's dumbfounded reply at the apparently sincere compliment was overshadowed as Wei, suddenly struck with an epiphany of sorts, leapt to his feet shouting "You'll never live to see your next anniversary if she finds out where you live!"

One again, silence gripped the table. Finding that he was now the center of attention, Mantis grinned weakly and excused himself from the meal. Viper shook her head and cast a wary eye at Po, who blinked back at her in confusion.

"Okay, what exactly did you put into everyone's food?"

Abruptly, everything fell into chaos. The panda stammered his innocence of the rampant insanity. Tigress demanded to know what was wrong with everyone. An buried his face in his wings in surrender to the madness. Monkey appeared to be speculating internally about something involving the lot of them in a conspiracy against him and Viper appeared to be weighing her chances of landing a piece of food on top of Tigress' head as Po had.

Tao-hua rose from her place at the end of the table, side-stepping the arguments of the six masters as she approached Shifu's seat. "Your students are quite.. colorful," she commented, not quite suppressing a chuckle as the master caught a dumpling that Lian had playfully lobbed through the air with her chopsticks and ate it in silent resignation. After a few moments, he finally replied.

"So, what was your real comment?" he queried, sounded as though he was now only asking out of courtesy instead of any real interest.

"That was it, originally." She tittered softly at the borderline poisonous glare of disbelief he shot at her like an archer's arrow. "And then I couldn't help but think how you'd never believe it. And of course, you didn't and don't. You're still a bit predictable, you know."

"You're still a bit tedious," he retorted, rising from his seat to exit the remains of the meal. This evening's madness clearly called for some fresh air. He was startled when his sensitive hearing picked up footsteps behind him as he exited the palace doors. He was not surprised to discover who it was that had followed him, though. He pretended to ignore the woman as she came to stand beside him on the terrace that overlooked the palace grounds. For a while, they stood in silence, neither certain of what the other was thinking.

Tao-hua glanced idly over to her companion, gauging his every non-verbal reaction as she toyed with the spoon that she found she still had in her hands. "There is something serious I'd like to discuss with you, Shifu." The master in question gave a non-commital snort, clearly wondering if she was capable of serious conversation.

The tanuki smiled a little at the familiarity of the situation, and found her eyes being drawn to the softly glowing moon that seemed to hang so perilously low in the sky overhead. The evening was positively aglow with it's eerie radiance, everything brushed in whispers of blues and silvers that felt oddly ominous. The Lady of the Jade Palace shook the thought from her mind. It wasn't appropriate to the request she had followed her quarry out to the courtyard to make.

Speaking of whom, she was mollified to see that he'd been watching her when she turned back to him. There was something odd in his stare. Almost as if he was trying to discern something through a thick fog. She looked away, feeling oddly warmed and chilled by the gaze.

"I..." She felt her voice die away, and let the cool night air take the thought so that she could reword it. "I would like it very much if you would aid me in preparations for a little journey, Master Shifu," she finally announced, not quite daring to turn and meet his eyes again. Her tone was formal, but her voice wavered, if only a little.

"What sort of journey are you wanting to make, Lady Tao-hua?"

The soft tone of his voice startled her, and she did look up then. The open, curious expression on his face almost made him look like a different person, she thought. Instead of suspicious and mistrustful, he seemed almost concerned. The tone of the entire evening had been changed with that simple query. She pushed the inconvenient thought away.

"I need you to help me with Father. I've delayed this for far too long since we arrived back, to my great shame, but.. it's time to let him go and I..." She trailed off, willing the hot tears that were threatening to well up to be gone from her eyes. It had been three years since his death, but now she was truly going to be alone; without even his remains to bring her reassurance. She couldn't quite bite back an awkward near-sob, and attempted to turn it into a laugh. "Doubtless, Father is cursing me for keeping him from his proper place in the afterlife."

That odd look was back on the red panda's face, and under his steady gaze, she felt the great stone wall of resolve within her crack. She tried to articulate the conflict of heartsickness and duty that was crushing her from within, but the words simply wouldn't arrange themselves properly. The only sound that she managed to create was a soft, desperate-sounding choked sob. Appalled at herself, she buried her face in her hands and turned away. What a pathetic, wretched creature she must seem.

A hand gently took her by the shoulder, turning her back around. She finally collected herself enough to have some semblance of control over her emotions, and realized that she was sitting on the ground now, leaning against Shifu slightly as he awkwardly attempted to soothe her tears.

"You've had a hard time of it, haven't you, Lady Tao?" he murmured, clearly stunned by the outpouring of emotion. The tanuki sniffled softly. "Taking care of Father has been my whole world for so long... It's very difficult... letting him go again. Losing him all over again.." She shivered, and let herself lean against the shoulder pressing against her own. "I'm going to be alone, truly alone."

"You will never be alone in the Jade Palace, my lady."

The softly-voiced assertion caught Tao-hua by surprise. She met his gaze uncertainly, and was taken aback at the gentle expression on his face. The tanuki looked away, startled and a little flush-faced. Ignoring her reaction, Shifu continued.

"You are not simply master of the Valley of Peace, you know. You're also our friend. We will stand by you. You will never be alone," he concluded, iron-clad conviction in his hushed voice.

Tao-hua managed a choked "Thank you" before she collapsed against his hesitantly offered arm, shaking in a cloudy combination of gratitude, fear, grief-wrought tears and embarrassment. Her pride ached a little at the scene she was making, but her heart couldn't contain the emotions anymore.

Shifu carefully patted the sniffling woman's shoulders, unsure if he was more surprised at his one-time adversary's behavior or his own. Still, Lady Tao-hua was not quite the shrill, antagonistic person he remembered from his youth. Time and facing the world which had caused her siblings to retreat farther into their disagreeable personalities had matured her, warmed her heart to the welfare of others, and even though she tried to hide it behind a facade of careless command and blithe indifference, it was obvious that she had a loving heart.

He wondered at the strange feeling; almost one of protectiveness that urged him to calm her, and concluded that he must indeed be losing his mind in his old age.

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Many, many miles away, a robed figure retreated into a dank alleyway. He fairly shook with anticipation. This was the place that the note asked him to deliver his information to. It wouldn't be long before he delivered the message that the small dingy hawk had brought to him. Then he could go home, enjoy a nice nap and-

The wires that seemed to materialize out of thin air around him, entangling themselves in his curled horns and somehow twisting the oversize hood of his tattered second-best suit of clothes around his face interrupted that thought, replacing it with "Will I get home alive?"

"What do you think, sister? Can we eat him?"

"Interesting, most interesting."

"Let's kill him now!"

The owner of the third voice slid lazily down a makeshift ladder of wire beside the messenger, yanking the hood back away from his face. The leopardess giggled at the goat's terrified expression and leapt away, dodging through the elaborate web of tripwires like an especially skilled acrobatic spider.

"I... I have a m-message!" Li finally stuttered, fumbling the cyllander as he attempted to draw it out of his pocket. It rolled purposefully forward, coming to a halt beside the outstretched hand of one of his shadowy assailants. She retrieved it with a careless flick of her tail, snapping the container open with a clawed finger. The three shadowy blobs on the edge of his vision leaned forward, scanning the battered note.

"Oh my, oh my..."

"An invitation?"

"A job!"

"A target!"

"A good reason to sharpen my blades.."

A steel ring covered in claw-like knives flashed through the darkness, severing the wires that held Li captive and sending him sprawling into the alleyway. He scrambled to regain his footing, sitting upright just in time to see three nearly identical leopardesses step into the faint light streaming from the heaven's portal of the filthy street behind him. The woman in the middle grinned maliciously, yanking the object that had freed him out of the dirt at his feet.

"Run along, and send this reply back to Lord Guiren. The Wu sisters accept his intriguing offer. We will leave immediately."